The Mediocrity Ceiling

The news cycle is screaming, the cost of living is climbing, and somehow we are still expected to perform at full capacity. I sit with that tension out loud, starting with the fear and uncertainty around the Iran conflict, the way power plays get framed, and how ordinary people end up carrying the fallout through stress, disruption and constant unease.

Then I bring it back home to what real life looks like behind the scenes: motherhood that is beautiful and confronting, grief that does not wait for a convenient moment, and the quiet work of reparenting yourself while raising a child. I share the idea that happiness is not a fixed personality trait but pockets of happiness you build, protect and repeat, especially when the world feels heavy.

From there we go deep on workplace mediocrity and why Black women often do not get to be average. We talk competence threat, the exhaustion of doing strategic labour for rooms that resist raised standards, and the hard truth that you cannot shrink your competence to make other people comfortable. I also unpack what’s happening with Black-owned businesses like Hanifa and Plantmade, the reality of cash flow, pre-orders and infrastructure, and why communication is not optional when customer trust is on the line.

If you want honest commentary on work, money, culture and how to stay grounded while still moving forward, press play. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

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Transcript

War Headlines And A Heavy World

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Oh yes, I couldn't out of the space off with the space cut night space on golden stuff, you speak to this letter speed for out the speed. Let's just couldn't stop this dog. Let's just stop the game which joke. Every sister, how to own that growth. Let me show you how to not forget to elevated that's what we do.

Motherhood Grief And Family Gaps

Building Pockets Of Happiness

Mediocrity As Workplace Privilege

Competence Threat And Hidden Resistance

When Mediocrity Creates Extra Labour

Hanifa Plantmade And Black Business Strain

Scaling Lessons Cash Flow And Trust

ister Scribble Behind The Scenes

Target Boycott And Community Power

Four-Day Week Hopes And UK Costs

NCP Administration And Car Affordability

Blue Therapy Money Secrets In Marriage

A Resignation Over The Iran War

Tesla Electricity Licence And Values

The Blueprint Edit And Mental Clarity

250k Downloads Thanks And Ways To Connect

SPEAKER_01 0:29

In the three weeks since I've posted my last um podcast episode, what has happened in the world, honestly? So America has decided to launch an attack on Iran, and Iran are defending themselves. Um news outlets are calling it the brink of World War Three. We're watching the Middle East also, certain countries within the Middle East have received uh bombing attacks from Israel. Um, and there have been various countries who have aligned themselves with America, and that alignment hasn't necessarily come out in all-out support, it has been giving America access to some of their bases so that they can refuel and um reboot themselves to continue this attack on Iran, and this is not to um ignore or forget that this is a USA and is Israeli backed attack on Iran. They may call us cynical, but a lot of us understand that this is also a mass distraction from the Epstein Files, in which Donald Trump continues to uh distance himself as much as possible by causing distractions, uh a war here and there, you know, anything that could take the gaze and the focus away from himself and those people who are heavily featured within the Epstein Files. With that being said, um the world is just heavy right now. We are all affected by what's happening. Um, and also a lot of people who live in or have relocated to the Middle East are heavily affected. Um, a lot of people have had to leave the UAE. Um, we have seen some images of some um intercepted drones, and the domino effect of that is the impact um of those intercepted drones um where there's debris and um there has been attacks actually um to allegedly Dubai airport, but we're we're obviously seeing the images, and it has been suggested that certain um countries within the UAE have restricted um the sharing or dissemination of any images relating to the effects of um Iran um and then and drones, drone attacks. Um in reality, we are watching Donald Trump be puppeteered, allow allowing himself to be puppeteered, and he is also making decisions that affect everyone. Um I don't know how this is gonna end. Um, I do know that people are directly affected. Maybe you have family in the Middle East, maybe you had holidays booked, maybe you went on holiday there and you're trying to get back whatever the situation is. This affects everybody and it doesn't look good. Um, you'll put on certain news outlets and they'll talk about the price of oil going up because of obviously Iran has restricted access to the Strait of Hamous. Um, and to be honest with you, I'm not surprised that this is happening. I'm more surprised that other countries who have allowed this to happen. And I'm talking a lot of world leaders who have refused to come out and condemn Donald Trump, but we're gonna get into the whole Donald Trump, the um attack on Iran. Iran has the right to defend itself. Um but I think Donald Trump started this, and the question is how how is this gonna end? How is this gonna conclude? Because the more it rambles on, the deeper the UK gets involved, or the well, I say the UK gets involved, but the the the clearer it is that you the UK do not want to get involved, and that it places a strain on that US-UK relationship, and you know, periodically Donald Trump will decide that he wants to increase tariffs and whatever, um, but this this attempt at a World War III has really highlighted how broken um the world is, and it started with Venezuela, and we covered that on the podcast episode. At the point in which Donald Trump went into Venezuela, went into Venezuela, kidnapped a sitting president. That was the beginning. And everybody I watch social media and I watch people on my timeline who honestly you really understand why I can't is it Japan? I can't remember what um country has basically you have to have a certain level of qualification to be speaking on political matters, and I actually understand it, and it needs to be implemented here in the UK because if you want to really understand how uneducated and unread people are, go on the timeline, go not even a timeline, check your Instagram feed with the people you follow and how they process what's happening in the world and then share their views. There are people that are I hate the word dumb, but there are actually some dumb motherfuckers in the world, and these people are operating, living amongst us, and have the right to vote. That is scary. When Donald Trump kidnapped her sitting president, this was always gonna this is about oil, this is about power, this is about the dollar, this is about legacy, this is about ego, and this is about Donald Trump and Israel. And it is scary, it is scary that uh you could just wake up one morning and Donald Trump has just done he hasn't spoken to anyone. I believe that Keir Starmer found out at the same time we all did. It's not like Donald Trump put in a call to Keir Starmer, I don't believe that. It doesn't respect him enough to do that. We are literally watching an Israeli US-backed attack. And there are people that are condemning Iran. Iran has the right to defend itself, any country has a right to defend itself when it's being attacked. The question we're asking is where do we draw the line now? And I think this is this is the difficulty now. And this is happening during Ramadan, and I just can't I just I I literally this is what is happening in the world is absolutely crazy. But we're gonna revisit this topic later on in the in the podcast episode. Um you know one of the biggest challenges I would say that I faced in the last few years has been motherhood. It's the most rewarding, the most impactful, and the most beautiful journey. But I definitely think that motherhood has been very confronting. I've had to confront what I believe motherhood is, and I I did the therapy before I became a mother. I'm having to mother the younger version of me that feels that I wasn't mothered in the right way, or there were gaps because of my fraught relationship with my mum, and watching my daughter grow up without her other grandparent has been actually really difficult because number one, my daughter really looks like my side of the family, she has her father's um eyes um and mannerisms, personality even, but she actually looks like an Ibo babe, she's half Ibo, half Nigerian, quarter Tanzanian, and quarter Kenyan because her dad is half Kenyan, half Tanzanian, my husband, and as she's growing older, I'm realizing how upsetting it is that my daughter's grandmother is not equipped emotionally to grandparent her, and then inadvertently it's heavy for me because I'm realizing at critical stages of my life my mum hasn't been there, that's really hard. I think motherhood was probably the most critical stage because my introduction into motherhood wasn't great. Just you know, I've shared with you all that my you know my birthing story was really difficult. It's something that I haven't been able to speak out about publicly, but I was fighting for my life. Um, from the moment I walked in there. Um I was in labor and in hospital for 10 good days. 10 good days, and the things me and my husband witnessed in that hospital was unbelievable. He my do you know my husband said to me he did not know like what was gonna happen with me. He's like there was he saw a lot, there was a lot that happened. Um but there was a there was probably one critical point in which my daughter had to be taken away. My I had had that conversation with my husband. I said, if anything happens in in Labour, and this is even before I got pregnant, you go to the baby, I'll be okay, and that's exactly what happened. And I remember um going what my my daughter being taken away, and I was back in surgery, and there was a few things that happened, but I was on my own, there was no one there. There was supposed to be sorry, the baby monitors on, so you all hear my daughter in the background. There was supposed to be someone there, and fundamentally I entered motherhood with a clarity that I never knew that I needed to be able to proceed in my motherhood journey. And I think we fast forward now. My daughter's gonna be three in May, and I don't know how that's happened because I feel like we've just been galloping through the through the years, but she's about to be three, and I look back and I just think to myself, wow, the emotional displacement, the learning on the job, the postpartum depression, the heaviness of the weight of motherhood that couldn't be shared. And here I am just figuring it out. So Sunday was Mother's Day, and Sunday is really interesting because it falls on it fell on my father's birthday and the anniversary of um where I work, so I've been there now for two years as a perm. So just being perm perm for two years, um, it fell on the same day, and typically during my dad's birthdays, I just kind of I if I don't go to cemetery, then I really pay reverence to that, but it felt quite heavy because it was confronting to have that on the same day as Mother's Day, and realize that my dad never got to physically see me as a mother. There's so many questions I would ask him, and I don't have the opportunity to ask him, that felt quite heavy, and realizing there is a younger self within me that needed to be mothered on that day, and it just felt heavy. And I'm very blessed. I have a very, very good friend of mine, Bimpei, who I absolutely love and adore. My daughter loves and adore, that's her favourite auntie, and um, you know, when you get into your 40s, your friendships become spiritual, by the way. They become spiritual because I in your 40s, I feel like you've done you would have gone on the journey of discernment, you've had the bad friends, you've gone no contact with certain friends, you know, you really understand the value of self and you really come into your own in your 40s. This is what I believe, very generic, but this is my experience I'm sharing, right? I managed to speak to my friend. Um, and the first question she asked me is, How are you? And I burst out into tears. And I think it was just realizing that I don't get asked that all the time, which is fine and fair enough, but I have a friend that sees me, so when she asks me that, it's a genuine question, and I felt like I could just release, and those tears were tears of grief, and they were tears of built-up um anxiety, and it was tears of holding on to emotions that I haven't allowed myself to feel because as a mum, you're always on the go. I say all of this to say everybody's dealing with something, and then we're having to look into the world and see how negative it is. And if I'm gonna say or give you advice about anything, it's gonna be this no condition is permanent. Life continues to change, you'll continue to evolve. But what's really important is that you stay true to yourself, build up that self-confidence to know your value. Surround yourself with people who you feel a spiritual connection with and it makes sense, it feels good, your nervous system is settled. When you are making life decisions, you have to really make those life decisions in the understanding of the consequences of those decisions and the magnitude. There is no perfect situation, there's no handbook at life, but you know what there is? There is a conviction in your mind that you're walking the right path for you. I shared on my personal Instagram page something I want to say on here before we get into the meat and potatoes and the bones of this podcast, and that's this. I don't believe that people there are people who are just truly happy. I don't believe you just wake up and say, I'm a really happy person. You can see someone who is more happier, but I don't believe in happiness in that way. I do believe in pockets of happiness. So, for example, my daughter makes me abundantly happy. I see her in her happiness, I see her learning life and learning things, giggling, laughing, developing her sense of humour and personality, and I see her enjoy the emotional safety of the home that my husband and I have created for her. That makes me happy to see that. That makes me happy to experience it to mother her. So I'll give you an example. I recently bought Palmer's. This is not an ad, by the way, but Palmer's have this new is it Tahitian, Tahitian, Tahitian? I want to say Tahitian vanilla cream. They've got the whipped cream and they've got the oils. And if you know anything about me, I love a body cream, I love a skincare routine, right? And I bought them recently and I had a really nice I I love my showers. I shower two, three times a day, and I I creamed myself with it, smelling amazing. That was my pocket of happiness. When I am creating, when I'm doing the when I'm scoping out the podcast, when I'm creating maybe for one of my businesses, like Sister Scribble, pockets of happiness. When I'm in a contract negotiation and I'm learning and I'm growing within whatever it is that I'm doing as part of that negotiation, that's pockets of happiness. When I wake up, when I go to bed early and I wake up and it's still 1 am in the morning, and I'm like, oh damn, it's still early. I don't wake up until 6 30. Pockets of happiness, and I believe that those pockets of happiness are things that make me happy. Me and my husband having a laugh, me and him speaking with our eyes and not our words, and then just bursting out laughing because we know each other that well. Pockets of happiness. In a world that feels so heavy, sometimes we just need to find our pockets of happiness, and it's in the most simple things. I believe that true pockets of happiness come within a settled, peaceful place in your mind and in your heart. And this is why for me, I don't keep people around me that have bad spirit. No, I don't keep people around me who have that devilish, jealous, all-consuming spirit. I don't. I don't have people around me that my um nervous system does not agree with because I cannot receive those pockets of happiness with the false field of negativity, and some people hold that false field. You've got to find your pockets of happiness because in a world that is so heavy, it's easy to forget and not remember that you need to be able to enjoy your life, and that can come with the big things, the small things, but identifying what makes you happy is really really important. Holding on to those pockets of happiness, indulging in it, enjoying it, being in the moment of those pockets of happiness is really important because life is moving fast. Life is moving fast. We are already in March. We just celebrated Christmas. Q1's almost done. The clocks are going forward one hour. Honey, we we are entering summer, which is summer time, but spring is among amongst us. So I hope that this helps someone. I hope this is a reminder, and I hope this feels light in a world that feels very heavy. So I've been thinking a lot about mediocrity in the workplace, and it's I want to be really clear. I'm not talking about incorrect. Competence. I'm talking about mediocrity. Because the reality is that mediocrity is a privilege that some people can survive on in their careers. And some of us just simply cannot. For black women in professional environments, competence isn't optional. It's the entry fee. We don't have the luxury to be mediocre because we can't even enter rooms with mediocrity. That is not afforded. That's the privilege of mediocrity is not afforded to black women. So what you tend to find is that in many organizations, a white man can operate real comfortable in mediocrity and still be perceived as capable. A white woman may face sexism, but her competence is often assessed very differently. I would say that her competence is assessed from a space of fragility first, and that's just not afforded to black women. For us black women, competence is not the baseline. Exceptional competence becomes the baseline. And the irony is once you exceed that level of competence, you don't just outperform mediocrity, you start disrupting it. So here's the dynamic that people don't talk about enough, in my opinion. Competence and mediocrity don't meet in the middle. I believe they collide. So just consider this for a second, right? Competent people raise standards. Mediocre environments resist raised standards. So competence becomes uncomfortable. So for example, when you are highly competent in an environment where mediocrity is tolerated, your competence becomes a mirror. And not everybody wants to look in the mirror. So guess who becomes the problem? So now you're not just doing your job, you're managing risk, you're explaining things that should be obvious, you're translating commercial realities for people who should already understand it. You end up doing the intellectual and strategic labor for an entire room, and that is exhausting. So then we're confronted with an uncomfortable truth. Because competence disrupts comfort, and organizations often choose comfort over competence, suddenly the competent person becomes difficult, too direct, too intense, or too strategic when in reality they're just doing their job. How many of us are competent, overcompetent? And a lot of us find in our organizations how many of you find that incompetence outweighs competence? So competence people are found in a minority. There's not very many. Now, I'm not sitting here saying only black women or black people are competent. That's not what I'm saying here. What I am saying is the minimum baseline entry for black women is overcompetence. Because if we're saying that we have to work 10 times as hard, then what does that already tell you? But the reality is when you meet incompetence, they're more in the majority. So as a competent person, your ability to be able to grow in that environment is slightly stunted because a lot of people are either watering themselves down or adopting a level of incompetence to be able to survive. And the reality is incompetence, especially in black women, if if we're able to adopt it, we our survival rate is not great. So then we're having to survive incompetence in often environments that don't allow us to thrive because we're confronting incompetence all the time. Sometimes it's because they want to use it. I guess the lesson that I've learned is that you cannot shrink your competence to make mediocrity comfortable. Because once you start doing that, you're no longer protecting your career, you're protecting someone else's insecurity. Competence isn't the problem. The environment that you're working and operating in usually is. Mediocrity is a privilege, competence is survival. And as black women, I believe we don't just navigate the workplace, we navigate mediocrity too. When you work in roles where I guess risk actually matters, so whether you're like healthcare on the front line or you work in legal governance, um, wherever you know where I'm using that as an example, but wherever risk is actually critical, mediocrity isn't just annoying, it then becomes quite dangerous in those environments. There's something called, I did a bit of research, and there is something called competence threat. So it's where research shows that when someone in a group significantly outperforms others, people may try to minimize their contribution, reframe them as difficult, or avoid giving them more influence. Not necessarily consciously, but maybe structurally. How many of us who have work, rely, or depend on another colleague who is operating in mediocrity? So the question is, you can't bypass that person. And that this is where the labor sits because you're having to then overcompensate for their mediocrity because you're competent enough to assess that that person is a risk, and that person becomes a more of a risk because you can't bypass them, you've got to work with them, or you have to learn to manage them to get what you need to be able to deliver your role. That is an additional labour that no one really prepares you for, and that is the element of exhaustion that we don't account for in workplaces, and it's until you get into organizations and you're working in and amongst people that you actually realize that not everybody at the table is competent enough to deliver their job, and it's not to say that you're there to deliver everyone's job for them, absolutely not, because you've been hired to do a particular role, you're not hired to do 10 people's role, especially if that's not where your strength of forte lies. But I think the best thing that we cannot do is remember that not everybody sitting at the table is best in class at what they do or actually able to do their job. The question arises, how do they even survive? Because they survive in that mediocrity that is cultivated to allow them to survive. But we know that we we would never be afforded that, we could never survive in that. We we know that you have to learn how to identify these people and find ways to work around them or to manage them in a way, and I say manage them, and it's not that you're a manager necessarily, but you have to sometimes manage them to be able to deliver your job. So let me give you an example. A few years ago, I was working for an organization and I had to depend on a finance business partner to run the numbers. Now I say this and I caveat this by also saying, I'm not good with numbers. Put my dyslexia to the side, I'm just not good with numbers. I know where my strength lies, I don't work in finance because I'm not good with numbers. So this finance business partner would give me um give me the these numbers that he would run, but then whenever he had to present them in a meeting, he was always stumbling, and that to me was a flag because my thing is why are you stumbling on numbers that you own, on numbers that you run? Why are you stumbling? Is it a lack of confidence, or is it your lack of trusting in the numbers that you've run because you ain't done them properly? So then I started to just pay attention to this person, and whenever I'd have a meeting with him, these numbers for a particular project would always change, and I don't understand why they're changing, it don't make no fucking sense. So by the time we get to a final document where I've done all the commercials, right up until the last minute, these numbers are changing. One time I kind of like wanted to see if this was me, if this is nervousness, what is this? And um I put in a final delivery meeting, and in this final delivery meeting, I needed sign-off from everybody, so they had to articulate their findings and verbally confirm that they're signing off their bit so that we can go into a final document, and he delivered it in a way that I just didn't feel very confident in what he was saying. Everybody took five minutes each. This man was on 20 minutes before one of the directors on the call said, I need to stop you there because I've got another call. By the time this man submitted his numbers to me, I said, But you haven't rounded up. He said, What do you mean? I said, Yeah, but these numbers then they I it's like I just knew instinctively. And he said, Oh, you're right, okay, this is why these numbers are wrong, and then we round this up mediocrity. I don't do his job, I'm not good at finance, that's not my chosen field. But the labor he places on me is I can never trust what he gives me now because he doesn't, but as a white man, he went on, I'm sure he's still there diving, conniving, and skiving. Because I just don't know how the I honestly I used to look at him and think, do you not feel any shame that you can't stand by your numbers that you've been running? What is it that you've been doing? Because some of us have been working late, putting them hours in, and all you have to do is run these numbers, and bearing in mind you're using soft will, you put rubbish in, you get rubbish out. But I just couldn't understand. I was like, you're a finance business partner, and you have other projects underneath your butt, but this one is the most straightforward, it's not hard. And the reason I say it's not hard is all he has to do is model in as a finance business partner. This is what you that's your bread and butter. So for me, I and I really did look at him. Meetings, you know, like when you have those meetings and then you see people on teams. I would just you know, you can highlight one person, maybe I would just be highlighting him so I could just look at him because I just wanted to understand how is it that your privilege works so well for you that you are so bad at your job, but you are still here. I don't know any black male or female, especially females, that we could be in that situation and survive it. Absolutely they will manage us out onto the road. In fact, they'll call it professional something higgy haga and get manage you out. But the survival rate of mediocrity versus competence, I feel like mediocrity survives more because what competence does is after a while we get tired, then we'll go to pastures new. And I'm not saying I've always said there's no such thing as a perfect role, but I do believe that there's roles where as exhausting as it is, you can manage in competence enough to deliver, then you hit a crossroads when the tiredness of the labor out and your happiness, albeit content contentness, if that's a word, outweighs your wanting to continue to operate at that level. Because one thing is for sure, if you allow competence to slip, you will enter the zone of mediocrity and you cannot sustain it, especially as a woman, you cannot, as a black woman, even less so. We cannot sustain mediocrity because nowhere to hide, Fas. There's nowhere for mediocre black women to hide in in these such environments. None because on one hand, I'm telling you, be a subject matter expert, know your stuff. You know, there's a lot of things I say here about, and I I I really like hone in on being a subject matter expert because that's the level of advanced competence we need to just be able to enter. So we don't have time to rest on our laurels because mediocrity won't open the door, it won't mediocrity won't even allow you to be shortlisted. In past lives, I have been in situations where my competency was overlooked because it wasn't in their interest to acknowledge I was overcompetent, it was in their interest to keep me subdued in my competence and then tell me that my skills aligned with everyone else. How does my skills align with everybody else when I'm the most qualified? My skills cannot align, but you have to make it align because you need your mediocrity to find somewhere to hide. And somebody had to do my job, I had your hand over. I didn't know the fight between mediocrity and competence when I had to lead something, and the majority didn't want to agree with me, and I'm saying like people have DM'd me didn't want to agree with me because they didn't want to be seen as less than, or they didn't want it to be seen like I'm doing a great job. So what they did is they throw a spanner in the way. That's what mediocrity does. Mediocrity is very aggressive, by the way, because they have to fight to be hidden, and they will use you to be seen, they'll take the credit for your work. Yeah. Have we spoken about that? How to deal with people taking credit for your work? Because there'll come a reckoning where they have to explain, they can't default to you. Since you want to take credit, you want to all need you. Explain how you arrived there. Humiliation is the best way to deal with people who want to pretend that they've done the job that you've done, want to take glory for your work, humiliation it's at their hands, by the way. That's an episode for another day. Email your questions into hello at toytalks.com. I hope that helps. Because I've been meaning to talk about it. No matter how high, no matter how many six or seven figures, five, four figures you're earning, mediocrity and competency will always collide. Because they're trying to live in the same house, and mediocrity is very arrogant. Where competence is not, competence is what it is. Hmm, we're really going through it in these some some of us are really going through it in these both places, honestly. So this leads me to something else I really want to talk about. Um, and it's about black businesses and the reality of black businesses. Now, I'd been meaning to do an episode on Hanifa or Hanifa. Sometimes I call it Hanifa, but my friend said it's Hanifa. I love Hanifa by the way, I love her creativity, I love the quality from what I've seen of her brand, and when it came to digital fashion, Hanifa paved the way during, I believe it was lockdown, where fashion was always seen as one-dimensional. Hanifa readdressed, redirected, and redefined how fashion could be consumed, especially during a lockdown period where runways weren't open, honey. No one was doing them fashion shows. Her digital ability to do those fashion shows actually catapulted how we use technology in fashion. Hanifa is a not just a trendsetter, but she's she's breaking so many fashion stereotypes. She's needed. Escaled into something much bigger. Recently, HANFA, so the owner, I can't remember her name, it escapes me, but she'd announced that they're pausing operations indefinitely. Now, we need to let that sit for a moment. This is a brand that had global visibility, viral runway moments, celebrity endorsements, and they've decided to pause. And this is exactly why we need to have this conversation when we talk about businesses. Because what we're witnessing is not just about one brand, it's about the fragile reality of building a business without the safety net that many others take for granted. I really want to be clear. This isn't about like dragging a brand or talk about the negativity of a brand. There was a narrative literally a few weeks ago, why their orders are delayed, why are customers waiting, why their pre-orders. But this the reality has now shifted because this brand, Hanifa, have decided to just stop. And that shift from criticism to collapse is something I think we all need to sit with as consumers. When we speak about Hanifa, we have to also talk about you know how the brand was positioned. They were positioned as a brand navigating cash flow, product um production, production, can't speak, production cycles and demand pressure. There was a Very high demand for Hanifa, by the way. So I'm assuming that a lot of it's like self-funded, or maybe it's lightly funded. Maybe you know, however it's funded, it was. But when you're dealing with like clothing brands, we've got to consider like manufacturing deposits, supplier timelines, staffing, logistics, and also customer expectation. And I want to get onto customer expectation as well a little later. When you have companies that have pre-orders, like Hanifa, so pre-orders was part of her model, it is a way to fund production without like taking on excessive debt. But here's a part that I don't think we talk about enough. Even cautious growth can still break under pressure because when demand outpaces infrastructure and expectations outpace capacity, something has to give. So I want to then bring into the mix because Hanifa is a US brand, but I want to bring into the mix plant made because we've seen the controversies about plant made, but I think the parallels that I draw between both businesses is they're black-owned businesses, irrespective of where they sit, the US and the UK, they're black-owned businesses, and it's around the same time that we've witnessed a shift. And I think it's important that we talk about it. What we're seeing now is something really powerful. There's two brands, plant-made and hinifa. One that scaled quickly and became overwhelmed by debt. So for me, that's plant-made, and one that appeared to scale carefully but became overwhelmed by operational and financial pressure. For me, that would be HANIFA. Different strategies, but unfortunately, they arrived at the same outcome. There was disruption, customer dissatisfaction, and ultimately a loss of control. And in the case of Hanifa, there's now a pause. So, what does this actually tell us when we think about black businesses and the things that I've just mentioned? What does it actually tell us? It tells us that the issue is not just how black brands grow, it's also about the environment they're growing in. Because whether you scale fast with debt or scale slowly without it, you're still navigating limited access to capital, higher costs of borrowing, um, higher scrutiny, lower margin for error, and at the same time, you're expected to deliver fast shipping, seamless service, a full inventory, premium quality, and constant innovation. As if you're backed by like billions of pounds or dollars. But let's really be honest, yeah. We want black brands to be independent, we want them to be ethical, profitable, scalable, and flawless all at once. But we're not asking a critical question. What is actually funding this? And this is where I feel like we need to have like a harsh truth when we're looking at black businesses. I have a black business that I've just launched, Sister Scribble. So for me, the this conversation is really, it feels quite close to home. It's not personal, it's just close. Visibility, we talk about social media, but actual visibility creates expectation, but it doesn't create infrastructure. So you a viral moment does not equal working capital, a sold-out drop does not equal long-term sustainability. A million followers does not equal liquidity. It's it's heavy when you think about it like that. Because I also want to hold space for customers because customers are important. People pay for products, people waited, especially with Part Maid and Hanifa, as we saw on social media, and people expect communication. And when those communications aren't met, the frustration of customers become very valid. Support should never mean silence, and loyalty should never mean accepting poor experiences. Both things can be true at the same time. HENIFA and Plantmade had businesses that were under pressure, and the customer experience was not good enough. But what we can't do is reduce this to a good brand or a bad brand, success or failure. What we're seeing is something much more structural. Let's be real. Demand meets constrained infrastructure, and visibility meets reality. And for me, as a founder of a business, um, and obviously founder of Toyota Talks as well, it really does hit differently because building something from your own money, your own time, your own energy is not just business, it's also a risk as well. Every product you create is capital tied up, every order is a promise, every delay is reputational currency being spent. And when you're self-funding, there is no cushion, no bailout, no silent investor absorbing the loss. It's just you. So I guess for me as a founder, as a business owner, and someone who is literally just launched a business, I do think about okay, so what are the lessons here? Like what because for me, and whenever I speak to other founders, I always talk about what we can learn. There's so many black businesses that I could name, um uh Amy Cole for one. Uh there's so many others that I could name that are no more. And it's deep, especially when you're self-funding your business, it's scary when they share their stories. Like with Plantmade, the founder is no longer part of that business anymore. She started with is it£50 or£100 in her mom's kitchen? Whilst the business made millions, the lessons that we learn is that there's no safe way to scale without capital. Whether you take on debt or avoid it, risk is always present. I guess the second lesson that I've learned is operational excellence matters just as much as the vision. Because no matter how strong your brand is, if the back end cannot support the front end, it will show. I guess another lesson for me is communication is not optional, it is your infrastructure. Um, and in moments of delay, silence is what breaks trust the fastest. So I guess for me, like I remember the first drop of Sister Scribble, the origin edit, I had a date in mind that I was gonna drop, and I was like, you know what? In order for me to drop this, I need to ensure XYZ, XYZ, and I for me, if you have purchased anything from my brands or anything that I have worked on and dropped, quality can never be compromised. Like, I don't play with quality from the packaging to the physical product, I don't play games, I like nice things, so whatever I put out is a for me is a representation of myself. I am heavy on the communication, and I get it. Sometimes you could be so embroiled in the business and trying to get it right, communication becomes secondary, but actually a lack of communication can literally destroy your business. That's what happened with Hanifa. Let's be real. The lack of communication, like open, transparent communication, ultimately had the business at its knees because during um Black Friday sales, you know, a lot of the orders were like pre-orders, and it wasn't so much that people didn't know it was pre-ordered, I think people just wanted to set their own expectations. And Hanifa went on to explain, the owner went on to explain, you know, she was on maternity leave and things like that, but people are unforgiving of your personal circumstances when they're buying into your brand. People feel that when they're buying into your brand, they're buying into you. So whilst they can empathize with your circumstances, people still have paid to receive something and they haven't received it, and that's the painful truth. I guess for me, like a one of my final lessons from kind of things that I've observed, you know, within these some of these brands is we need to develop a more informed way of supporting black businesses, not blind loyalty, not harsh criticism without context, but informed support. I want to leave you with this because this is the part that stays with me. We celebrate black excellence loudly, but we do not invest in it structurally. We amplify the wins, but we do not build the systems that sustain them. So, what actually happens is brands rise fast, expectations rise faster, and when the pressure hits, there is nothing underneath to absorb it. Hanifa pausing is not just a brand story, it's a signal. A signal about capital, about expectation, and a signal about the gap between visibility and sustainability. So for me, the next time you see a brand trending, whether it's for success or struggle, ask yourself this what does the business actually have behind the scenes? Because until we start asking that question, we will continue to misunderstand what success really looks like. With Sister Scribble, I'm a one-man band. I have a passion for stationary. I love stationary, but for me, there's a lack of um, there's a lack of luxury within stationary, like intentional stationary that involves you in the story of what that stationery is. For me, I feel like stationary has always been very one-dimensional, very boring, very bland, very magnolial. And I want to create stationery that doesn't just speak to you from a um the perspective of functionality. I want it to speak to you from a story. So not everybody is creative, but everybody has thoughts, dreams, and aspirations. I want stationery to be intentional. I want it to be beautiful. I want you to be able to use this functionally luxury, beautiful stationery to start laying seeds and roots of what you want to manifest to grow. I want stationery to be encouraging, eye-catching. I want it to motivate you to want to do. So for me, my plan is I'm scaling slowly. So you've got the notebooks, um, I've got the blueprint edit, and I will speak about it a bit later about what the actual edit is. Because for me, every drop has a story. I don't just drop things because I'm bored or oh yeah, I need this. I'm gonna drop, I don't drop things like that. I typically have a drop every three to four months because that time I'm working in production, I'm working in creating, I'm also I have a manufacturer that I absolutely love. I'm trying to also build my portfolio of manufacturers for my business so that if one goes bust, I have this. Maybe one is better at this, and but this is a journey, and I'm saying all of this and caveating it by also saying that my brand is self-funded, I'm funding my own brand, and I don't want a bank loan, I don't want an overdraft, I'm literally funding it myself. So everything you see in my brand for Sister Scribble, from the packaging or to the actual product or the social media, everything, all the assets, it's me, and the I think for me it's amazing because it means that you have control of your brand, your IP, when it comes to like all the legal stuff, I've done that, I've set it up, the trademarking, everything, the website, everything, but it also costs money, and because everything is me, something is gonna fall. So for me, I feel like I could do so much better with the social media. But when I'm in production stage, and when I'm in development and creating stage, it's as a creator, it's a very, very fragile time because you're hoping to transmit all that you have in your mind onto paper, your drawing, your sketching. Sometimes I'll go out and I'll just take pictures of random things because I feel inspired. Like I went to Sainsbury's the other day with my daughter, as I usually do, but this particular um day, it was just before Mother's Day, and the way Sainsbury's had dressed up the supermarket was so nice, and there was a picture of this particular flower. I took a picture and my daughter's like, What are you doing? I had to explain to my my two-year-old, oh, it's for Sister Scribble because I'm inspired, and I just started talking because I always do that, I want her to see my creative process. But the point is there is a creative process before you even get to the production. So, social media, I wish I could do so much more, and also I'm not a social media guru, I want to drive my business to a point where I can hire someone to do the social media because that's their their subject matter expert in it. But the point I'm making here is when we're buying into these brands you want to support, that's amazing. But I feel like we also need to give black businesses the same grace we give non-black businesses. Molly May was her brand, maybe. Yes, maybe, maybe you guys should consider the fact that she's a multimillionaire. She can hire the staff, she can hire this, she can. If something happened, she can start again. A lot of us black businesses don't have that luxury. She can be an investor because she's a multi-millionaire. So for her investment, is it's like a drop in the ocean for her because number one, even though that is what she's created, she's got people who are working for her. As a multimillionaire, she could have four other businesses she's invested in, plus like a silent investor, plus the one that she's the face of, and that's not to take away from her and how hard she works. Molly May works harder. Her business ethic is it is it's giving 10 out of 10. But I just want to contextualize it because, on one hand, you want to support black businesses, but you won't give the grace to black businesses that you would give to non-black businesses, and don't get me wrong, I have been a customer of Plant Made. I know how the lack of communication can feel personal until you at them on Instagram, and that was my experience during lockdown. But me ating them on Instagram, I would have done with any brand, but it's very different now as social media has evolved. I feel like the the traps that business owners fall into gives content creators the content to go and drag on social media. I remember um just before lockdown, I was supposed to do a Toy Talks Live 2.0. I'd advertised everything, I sold out. I literally I sold out, I think it's 24 hours, I sold out all the tickets. The venue was the same venue I did to Toy Talks Live in 2018. Um, and my view was like, if I can sell out this, I will go on and do other venues that would be bigger. Then lockdown happened. Then I made a decision, I was like, you know what? I could wait this out and see what happens, or I could just return people's money and just say, you know what, everybody, hold on to your money. If lockdown is lifted and there's an opportunity for me to actually do this event, I will allow you all the right of first refusal to rebuy. But I'm not holding your money. There were so many people that were like, Toya, just keep the money for now. When um lockdown is lifted, then you know when you've rescheduled the date, we'll just come. I said no, I don't hold people's money. It's very spiritual for me, by the way. Because that money signifies sacrifice that you have made to be able to do or to choose how you want to spend that money. So that sacrifice I don't want to carry it in my head, I'll rather return the money. And there were so many people like Toya, this is like I've not had this experience before. And I said, listen, one thing I know about myself is I know I deliver, whatever I put my mind to, I deliver. But this unprecedented circumstances, what I don't want now is something to happen. You people ask me for refund, I can't give it to you because of what no come and take the money. But when you're dealing with in a service-based industry or a product, it's it's very difficult. I want to give you some reality when people when companies offer pre-orders, it's because of one all and all number one cash flow. Listen, people have said to me, so my notebooks are offering A5. People have said, listen, Toya, we want A4. Do you know how expensive it is to produce A4 notebooks to the standard of my business? It's very expensive. So for me, if there's a high demand for A4, of course I'm gonna um produce A4 products, but the demand is not there enough for me to invest the money on the A4. So I do A4 notebooks, I will introduce a A4, um, I produce A5, but I will produce A4 notebooks, yeah, just not right now, but it costs a lot of money. So people typically businesses choose to do pre-orders because that item is very expensive, so to get it in the quantities as they would do ordinary stock, it's a lot of money. Some people offer pre-orders because they don't actually have the ability to house that stock. So for example, I recently um, I recently got a small little warehouse space because I can see where my office is overflowing, especially when we get into a drop. Ah, my office is crazy. So I went and I had to redo some of my finances. I was like, okay, I can do this, do this, do this, I can afford this. But to hold stock, number one, you have to have this space. Now remember, if you're holding stock, you're putting up the upfront cost. The longer you hold stock, that stock potentially, depending on what it is, could depreciate in value, and that depreciation can come from a lack of demand. So if you order too much and you don't sell it, that becomes dead stock. That's your money. The reason I'm sharing this with you is many of you probably know this, but when you're dealing with product-based business and a business that you are funding, the risk is if I get this in these numbers, would I be able to sell it? Sometimes you don't even know. So your high ticket items, it's just better to just pre order so that you are servicing actual demand and realizing that actual demand rather than guessing what that demand could be when a business is doing so well. It's really easy for business owners to be like, ah, I'm going to hire this whole warehouse. When Plant Mate hide um got their warehouse space, the first thing I said to myself is without knowing anything, or I'm just a consumer, I was like, this is too big. But they had said they're outgrown their previous space. I said, Yes, but this new space that you have now is like you know, NASA airspace. This is crazy. There is an element of taking risks, cutting your cloth according to your size, and still serving demands. But for something that I have learned is about scalability, scaling slowly. It still costs money, scaling slowly. I'm gonna have journals, I'm gonna have diaries, I'm gonna have calendars, I'm gonna have pens, pencils, rubbers, pencil cases, I'm gonna have all those things. But I have to do it at a steady pace because I've really set the standard on my brand. It's luxury only. Everything that you see from the paper down to the production, the creation, everything is of a high quality standard because I like nice things, so I'm gonna put nice things, and that's my name. But the what people don't see on the back end, samples, if you're getting, you know, these businesses, clothing businesses, my my type of business, you have to pay for samples, you know. If someone says their minimum order for samples is 50, how many samples are you going to order? Is it not 50? Unless you shop around, you can negotiate with them. But if a minimal minimum order samples is 20, shabby, you'll buy 20. And remember, you have to hope those samples are what you want. If they're not what you want, they become a dead stock. That's why some people do sales, so like samples. So for me, I do have sample stock, and I'm I I'm so grateful to God that hmm I'm just grateful because some of that sample stock that I have, I know there's gonna come a point where maybe I'll be able to sell that on because the differentiation between that sample stock and the final edits, the difference is like one percent, but it's still businesses having to invest that money. So I'm hoping that gives you some context. Because when I looked at Hanifa and the statement that she made, and obviously understanding what happened with Plantmade, it really did make me think as a founder and business owner about what I can learn from those situations and also as a consumer, how we actually look at these businesses. Listen, I hope that you've learned something from this episode because one thing with me is I will only produce content that I believe that you will learn from. But this one we're gonna learn. One person that gets on my nerves is Jamal Bryan. For some of you who do not know who Jamal Brian Bryan is, he is a famous pastor, and he basically was very vocal about the strikes on Target, but very recently he's apologized for calling the end to the Target strikes. So he recently came up on this social media on Beyoncé's internet and said, Hi guys, I've had a meeting with Target, the strikes are off, we have reached an agreement. Ah, what agreement now? He'd even say the outcome of the agreement, but a deeper question is who are you to tell the black community of the US of A that the strikes are over? My dear, you're not the one that instigated the strikes. You see, when a man tries to center himself in this way, know that he's taken up space where there is no space for him. So he's basically said, and this has also been reported by the neighborhood talk on um Instagram, that he's apologized for calling the end to this the target strike as fast, and he says that he's been paid, he hasn't been paid, sorry, by the superstore, but he wanted to apologize for being a leader that was out of touch with what the community actually wanted. So basically, he has said that the target boycott is over, despite Target not reversing any of its diversity policies. And as far as everybody else is concerned in America, the boycott is still on. Um the retailer has recently obviously scaled back their diversity and equity and inclusion initiatives, and this is what sparked the boycott. So if you're gonna call it off, then you have to reverse those decisions. Target decided they're going to call in who they believe is the face of the boycott. He made himself the face, nobody appointed him more, and they're gonna have a conversation with him. So whatever was agreed in that room didn't even share, just came out and say, Hi guys, the boy Are you okay, sir? Because wasn't the boycott actually started by black women? You didn't come and consult your community, you decided to take it upon yourself to carry it on your head. Nobody asked you. One thing I love about America though is they will use their feet and their spending power to teach you a lesson. The UK is such bad vibes. We haven't we don't learn from our American cousins. No, we're just here talking shit on Beyonce's internet every five minutes, talking shit. But actually making an impact by boycotting certain stuff. No, we will not do it. One thing I love about our American cousins, they will stand on business. They will I there were so many like videos we saw of like boycotts of Target, and then we will see our sisters there, and we'll say, Ah, we're on strike, what are you doing here? I I used to love that. But what to me was more inspiring is how collectively, as a collective, as a community, black people in America will stand on that hill, they will stand on it and say, We're on strike. Do you know what it takes for a multi-million dollar business, billion-dollar business, to feel so affected by a strike led by the black community, that they'll call a community leader and say, Oh yeah, beg them now. But the arrogance is that you're not reversing any of the reasons why they're boycotting in the first place. So, what is the conversation? But the fact that they're open to a conversation means that the strike is hitting their bottom line. Impact through spending power. The UK, we need to understand as a black community our spending power. We had these initiatives like Black Pound Day, Kinniko, Kinniko, Kinniko, but what does it actually mean if we're not impacting from a financial perspective certain businesses? The problem that the UK has if we don't know how to operate as a black collective, as a community, we don't know how to do it. We don't make enough noise with our feet and our spending power. That's why a lot of businesses take us for Egypt. They will disrespect us, they will cuss us off, they'll follow us around the shops and call us every name under the sun, but we will still enter the shop and buy the hair cream. But in America, try them with that, they will boycott you and leave an impact that will last on your bottom line, they will hit you where it hurts. That your what do you call it, profit and loss account, you'll feel it, dear those those those profit and loss deal sheets, you'll feel it. Not in the UK though. The UK have a lot to learn, my my friends. Very disgusting. But Jamal Bryant, you were donkey of the day that day. Nobody sent you, you found yourself there, and then you came out to talk shit. Now you're apologizing because you realize that that was not your place, that was not your space, and as a community, you did not consult. Hmm. Come and see Germany with their four-day work week. So a recent four-day work week trial across Germany was so overwhelmingly successful that nearly three-quarters of the participating companies, that's 73%, have decided to make it a permanent change. Imagine getting your Fridays back all while maintaining the same pay. One of the most astonishing outcomes is meetings, which often feel like time sinks, saw a colossal 60% reduction. This isn't just about more free time, it's a testament to increased efficiency, better employee well-being, and a reimagined approach to productivity that benefits everyone involved. And that was reported by um Instagram handle outstanding. Listen, I know they did one trial here four-day week. We haven't heard anything since. Do you know why? Because the government are too busy increasing taxes, we're entering a new financial year, everything is going up from council tax to car insurance to life insurance. Everything is going up. So before we can now talk about the four-day week, we are literally fighting for our lives in Audi and Tesco and Sainsbury's, where one ugly potato, one potato that will used to cost 50p, will now cost you£1.50. One small jegger jegger potato like that. Um a packet of gala apples. No, I don't even like gala actually. Anyway, pink lady apples. Something that will cost you two pounds will be£3.50. This is what we're fighting for. So before we enter this four-day week, we even need to increase the um tax allowance. I told you it's been the same£12,500 for how many years? Oh yeah, but um minimum wage is increasing to seven pounds. What does that actually mean in reality if you cannot even afford basic necessities to survive? Common sanitary towel, sanitary pants,£12, 12 British pounds. Anyway, good luck to Germany though, because I can see that you you guys are trying your best to because that work life balance is becoming very efficient for y'all. Here in the UK, we are paying exorbitant extortion travel costs. We are the most expensive country for travel in the world. That's nothing to be proud of. That's fucking embarrassing. But talk about travel and things like that. NCP car parks has gone bust. Um, as reported by I'm Just Bait. National Car Parks NCP, one of the UK's biggest parking operators, has gone into administration, putting around 682 jobs at risk. Administrators from PWC say the company has struggled financially as demand for parking never fully returns after the pandemic, with long-term changes in commuting and driving patterns hitting revenue. NCP operates around 340 car parks across the UK, including sites at airports, hospitals, and train stations. The company's debts were reported to be 305 million greater than its assets last year. All NCP sites remain open and staff are still working while administrators look for a buyer for the business. This means that even if you have a parking fine from NCP, don't think because they're going to administration, you don't have to pay you though. Because that will hit your credit file. Don't try that. Either appeal or pay. That's just it. But what pisses me off is they come to tell us they hit administration because there's been a change in pattern of travel and giniko, ginko, giniko. Do you know how expensive it is to have a car? Let's talk about that. Nobody wants to talk about how expensive it is to have a car. So when you see people driving Chinese-made cars that people are now calling tin cans, which are not, they're highly tech, well-made cars. I drive a JQ. Yeah, I used to drive an Audi. I was I'm an Audi babe through and through. And let me tell you, I am a real Audi girl, but fuel economy is very important to me. Technology is very important to me, and longevity of a car is important to me. A fully specced out car. I spoke about this. I was sharing my new car journey on my Instagram page, Toya underscore Washington. It's a private page, so make sure that these burner accounts don't come and try to request frame requests. I will not accept you, by the way. Um, that being said, um, I'm talking about how expensive it is to drive in the UK. Listen, one thing that's really important to me is technology in a car. Okay, I'm not rolling down my windows, I need electric windows. Not to say I did, like I had an Audi, so we all know spec. But for me, technology is really important from heated seats to remote heat in the car, from just how the tech works in the car, AI, like my car has AI. So me, I'll say, Hey JQ, can you um roll down the windows? Ah, my car fully spec'd, fully loaded. I didn't have to do anything. The retail price for my car was I think it was either 35 or 38,000. Because you know that once your car hits 40,000 and over, you're paying that tax. That what's it called? Um oh, what's it called? There's a particular tax called the luxury car tax, it will cost you 699 pounds to tax that car because over 40,000. If it's under 40,000, then it's 195 for the year to tax the car. That's number one. Number two, to fully spec my car. So the car that I have now with Jaco, fully spec'd. I've got panoramic. Is it panoramic? You know, the sunroof, I got all of that, yeah. Full you name it, I have it in that car technology-wise. To get an Audi Q3 or Q4 spec'd to the car I have now. I would have had to pay an extra 10 to 12,000 pounds on top of a deposit. By the way, this is just to spec it out. I didn't pay any deposit for my car, I didn't have to pay any additional anything to spec it out because it's fully spec'd. JQ Emoda, owned by Cherry, are literally disrupting the car market right now because these luxury um cars like Mercedes, Range Rover, Aldi, BMW, they're dominating the car industry for a very long time and literally drilling our pockets of money just to have the basics. Then you have Jacob and Emota that are coming with the basics at a high spec. You can't even spec it anymore, and they're basically saying, Okay, this car is worth 35,000. Don't have to pay a deposit, or even if you pay a deposit, these are your repayments. But the point is, you're getting a high-quality car for a fraction of the price that you'd get it with Audi or Mercedes. So I released the equity in my um Audi Q2 that I had, and I shopped around, and I was like, Yeah, I can afford this Range Rover, yeah. I can fully spec out this Q3, but does it make financial sense? No, it doesn't, and it doesn't make financial sense because why am I bending over backwards for this expensive car? The insurance is mad on a Range Rover because they're highly stolen cars. Audi, I take it that Aldi take the piss. Audi have beautiful cars, but they take the piss. They do. Even VW, they were taking the piss with me. So just to get this pan so before we even get to panoramic windows with um VW to get an electric boot, I have to pay for an add-on. It was like a hundred and something pounds I had to pay for it for an electric boot. Is everybody okay? And that was for the uh VWT one new shape. That car's sexy though, but they're mad, very wild and very what? Mad. Yeah, I got a hybrid jayku seven. That car is that car is giving is given Range Rover. And they oh, I didn't tell you J. Cherry Cherry who owned JQ and a motor, part own Range Rover, so they use their parts. So yeah, my car looks like a Range Rover on a budget that makes sense. That's um has fuel economy, good fuel economy, cost me a fraction of the price, and I have everything a range has apart from the name, get with it. I don't really care what people say, you know, because what they they were saying it, um, the Jeku is a team version of Range Rover, and so my Range Rover, I will have there, my Chanel bag, my Lower bag, any designer bag will still be sitting in that Jekou, enjoying life because I chose not to be mad just so that somebody can see that. Hey, I've got an expensive car, I don't give a fuck. I still have a car, 24 A to B. It's big, and I every electrical technology technology is happening in that car. Yeah, hey Jeku, can you tell me what the weather is like outside? And she talks to me. Thank you very much. You sense, please. Don't allow this world, this country to corrupt you into a debt that you you you don't need to enter. It's not every day, it's not every day have to get an expensive car because you have no choice. No, there's choice now. The Chinese branded cars have infiltrated the market. I saw one a moda the other day, was it today? Ha, that car was sexy, man. BYD sexy cars, open your eyes and just give it a try. Is what I will say. Anyway, I'm I'm going off on a tangent here, but when I saw that and the NCP, um, I've gone into administration. Why why won't you go into administration? If I park somewhere for 10 minutes in one of their parking, it will cost you 15 pounds. Ah. Administration, you you finish chopping everybody's money. There's nowhere to chop again. Ah, move on. Okay, before I uh close this podcast episode, I do want to talk about a couple of things. And one being blue therapy on Netflix. If you haven't already, I do advise you go and watch it because honestly, it's very interesting. Um, some of us saw the blue therapy before when it was on YouTube. I love that it has a platform on Netflix. Hopefully, they'll have a second season. Um, I have various opinions about um some of the couples there, but I'm going to focus on the couple. I'm going to get their name more. And it's where the guy was, I don't even need their names. Was basically he confessed that he had been made redundant. So he hadn't told his wife up until the show when they're sitting in front of the couch on the couch talking to the therapists. So basically, he would get ready as if he's going to work. They'll leave at the same time, or maybe she would leave first, he leaves for whatever, and then he circles back to the house. Do you know why I'm laughing? Because he was stressed doing that. And I've got a confession here. I remember there was one place I was working. By then, Kay and I were living together, and I hated that job. So sometimes I'll pull a sticky, I would get ready, like I'm going to the back. Kay will leave, and I would just be in the house, and I would have pulled the sticky. I did that a few times, obviously, not to the degree of this other guy, but it did remind me of when I used to do that. So I reminded Kay. Remember when I told you I did that? That being said, we were not married and we didn't we didn't have any dependents, we had no children. So for me, it was more that I just didn't want to be judged. Kay has a very high work ethic. So I know that me pulling the sicky and everything, he would have been just judging me and I just couldn't be fucked. Um I really, it wasn't even that I hated that job. I think towards the end, I was just unmotivated with that job. And I just you know, sometimes you need to pull a few well in that job, and I was in my twenties. I felt like I needed, you know, like in your 20s. Sometimes you need to do that so that you recollab cat. We can just take stock of your life. Don't do what I did, please. I don't do that anymore. But this guy is married, he's got a child already. No, yeah, they've they've got one child, but um with both of them, and he's got one child from a previous relationship, so he's got two children. So he got a very good redundancy package, and basically he's just been living off that, and he never told his wife, but he he has very bad spending habits and he's heavily in debt. So obviously, they came to talk about it on Blue Therapy. Do you know what really made me annoyed with the guy? This woman is working her ass off. And what people are not understanding is his debts are her debts because now they're linked on the credit file. So the deeper he plunges himself into debt, he's plunging her into debt. This is what people are not understanding. It's not so much that he never told her that he had been made redundant, redundant, it's the decisions that he has been making prior and post the redundancy. This man doesn't want to save, this man doesn't and then he's now complaining that they're not physically intimate. My question is, how can you be physically intimate when she's laboring herself to get out of the debt that you've put both of you in? Like, how can you how can you have any expectation of any intimacy when you should be using your energy to find a job? Me, I don't understand this. Ah like there has to be that attraction of hard work as well, you know. Everybody is just off in pants, it doesn't you can't just off-pant when you know you've got a debt that's due at the end of the month, my love. Doesn't make no fucking sense. You know, he spoke about like having like that that money in his account, that redundancy money in his account, it made him feel good, it made him feel this. And listen, I respect the the honesty, but if you like seeing a certain amount in your account because it makes you feel good, then why won't you then find work, find a job, or retrain whatever it is, so that you can be seeing that money more? Because you're only seeing that amount because of the redundancy, not because you actually saved, invested, made the return, nothing. So I really had to question his ambition and also his own self-esteem. But his wife is an enabler, as far as I'm concerned, because I don't there was no consequences that he faced other than the fact that she was upset that she kept he kept from her the redundancy. And then he later on he spoke about how when they first got together, she pulled up in a new Q2 and he was in a quarter, and she highlighted well, whether he was in that quarter or not, I still dated you. Here we are now, married with kids. So in my mind, I was like, imagine he's jealous of her, so he's using his debt to keep up appearances. That doesn't make any sense because you're plunging yourself deeper and deeper into this debt because you want to feel like a man. A real man rolls up his sleeves and take whatever job is going if things are dire. But clearly they weren't dire because my man was still circling back every morning, eating and creaming off his redundancy while his wife I that's crazy. He could even use some of the money to maybe pay if she had any debts, or just I don't know, that's that's mad to me, and you have dependence. That's that's crazy. How how can you be looking for intimacy when you should be looking for a job? That's mad. So as they were going through the episode, like towards the end, he shared that he has got a job as a postman, that um there was a point where he had gone to an Audi showroom before he got his job, was about to get a new car, and he resisted. And it's like she he wanted as a clap for him or something. I don't know. And he's got a new job now, and they're working through their relationship, yada yada yada. But I think what it highlighted too highlighted is also relationship with money, and actually how they seem see, um, how he sees or in in a relationship, how one sees that kind of role and roles, and the importance of um communication when it comes to things like redundancies and money and being on the same page. I think the thing that I found more disturbing about this story is that he doesn't have that self-control. And for me, I don't I feel like your commitment to giving your children the best should give you that self-control. Because if you're in debt, you're gonna have to take from what you could give them to pay that debt, especially intentional debt where you know you don't have a prospect of necessarily paying it off because you don't have a job, and then you're gonna reuse that redundancy money when you can save it. That's these are things that me I don't understand. There are other interesting couples as well, some really like important topics that were discussed as well. Um, so I definitely think it's worth a watch. Blue Therapy on Netflix, definitely will highly recommend. I'm looking forward to the second season, but I don't I don't want to give away a lot of the other things that happen um on the show. But for me, that cup, that particular couple were very interesting. So make sure you go and have a watch Blue Therapy on Netflix. Before I close this episode, I want to read you um the statement posted on X by Joe Kent. Joe Kent is is was the director of National Counter-terrorism center in the US, um, serving under uh uh Donald Trump. After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as director of National Counter-terrorism center effective today. I cannot, in good conscience, support the ongoing war in Iran. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby. It has been an honor serving under POTUS, so the president. Um, and then he says a few other things. Um, may God bless America. Let's see the fallout of that. That was reposted on Instablog Niger. Hmm. I'm just gonna leave it there. Um, actually, I'm not gonna leave it there. I do have to tell you this. Elon Musk's Tesla has won approval to supply electricity to households and businesses across Great Britain. Off Gem has formally granted Tesla an electricity supply license, enabling it to provide electricity to domestic and business premises in England, Scotland, and Wales. I'm gonna do a deep dive into that to look at the full ramification of that because Elon Musk, in my opinion, is a blockhead. He has very, in my opinion, racist ideologies that are concerning. Um, he is a billionaire, and again, this is my opinion. Elon Musk is very problematic in general, as we saw with his fraught relationship with Donald Trump, despite you know being part of his his government cabinet, whatever you want to call it, their fallout was epic, and now to see that he now has a license, that's crazy. Am I surprised? No, but then I think to myself, you know, he has Tesla here, and I'm not gonna lie, I really wanted a Tesla, but I couldn't align myself with Elon Musk, he makes me so angry. But then we're in a position where if we don't align ourselves with set, like if we don't want to buy certain things that are owned by certain people, we'd just be there with nothing, and one has to get from A to B. But I just couldn't drive around with a Tesla. I have friends who drive Teslas, I have nothing against their choices to drive one. I think Teslas are very well-made cars, but for me, a law mask, I I just I couldn't, and that's not to say that Kay won't get a Tesla, by the way. He might do, I don't know. So you all know I've spoken about Sister Scribble before, but Sister Scribble is my stationary brand. It's a stationary company that I launched last year, um, 2025, November. And um, the first collection was called The Origin Edit, and that was all about beginnings. It was about giving your ideas somewhere to land, somewhere to exist outside of your head. But we have a next drop, of course. Um, and this one is really different. This is called the Blueprint Edit, and it's launching on the 27th of March 2026. And the reason I called it um the Blueprint Edit is because at some point ideas aren't they're not enough. You have to decide what you're building, you have to get clear, you have to start putting things into structure, you have to start writing things down in a way that moves your life forward. And for me, that's deeply personal. I've always been someone who's navigating a lot, a high-pressure career, motherhood expectations of myself, and also being neurodivergent and dyslexic. And one thing that's always grounded me is writing things down, not perfectly, not aesthetically for Instagram, but intentionally. Because when things live in your head, they feel overwhelming, or at least they do for me. But when you put them on paper, they become manageable, and that's what the blueprint edit represents. It's about creating structure in your life, it's about organizing your thoughts, it's about taking everything you're carrying, your ideas, your plans, your goals, and actually giving them somewhere to live. And yes, it's stationary, but it's also about so much more than that. It's tools that are designed with intention, with depth, with real life in mind. Whether you're building a business, navigating your career, raising a family, planning your future, buying a house, or just trying to get through your day with a bit more clarity, then the blueprint edit collection is for you because everyone deserves a space to think, to plan, to reset. So, yeah, this is me officially saying it out loud the blueprint edit is coming and it will be dropping on the 27th of March 2026. And I'm really, really proud of this. And if you've ever felt like your thoughts are everywhere, then this one's for you. So, yeah, the blueprint edit, I'm really excited about it. Can't wait to drop it. Um, if you want to have a look on the website, it's www.sisterscribble.com and it's sisters scribble on Instagram as well, and um, you'll see some reels. I've got my TikTok as well. I do put um like Sister Scribble stuff on my my TikTok as well as other content that I do on my TikTok. So um my TikTok handle is toy underscore Washington, and I cannot close this episode without saying thank you. Thank you for allowing us to celebrate. Um, recently my podcast hosts notified me that we had reached a landmark of downloads. 250,000 downloaded episodes of the Toy Talks podcast. This podcast is seven years old. Seven years old, and I couldn't be more proud of the impact it's had in supporting you in navigating the world of work and real life, sharing and creating a safe space to have conversations that are not always easy to have. But more importantly, that you guys have locked in 250,000 downloads is not beans, and I wouldn't be able to celebrate that if it wasn't for you all, for your my avid listeners to my new listeners, and to everyone that supports the Toy Talks brand. There's so much I need to do um in terms of like master cuts and things like that, and so many things I'm planning, and just to be able to know that there is a podcast where I could just come in, talk, share, and we could just chop it up. And we're navigating work and life. And for me, you know, I know why I started this podcast, but I never ever in my wildest dreams thought it would be where it is today. I just knew that I I wanted to lend my voice to a space where people can come back and listen time and time again, learn and grow as we navigate the world of work. And that's what the Toy Talks podcast is: it's to teach, guide, and educate as we never navigate the world of work and highlight the path of our success. Yes, we talk about work, we talk about life, but for me, it's just a safe space to continue to grow and learn. So I just want to thank everybody who has locked in, who has shared, who continue to support people who maybe don't listen and then have stopped listening and then come back for whatever reason. I appreciate you. Um, but yeah, I'm gonna wrap it up. I'm gonna close it up. If you have a life-related dilemma, or just a dilemma in general, work-related life, whatever, your anonymity will be protected. Email hello at toytalks.com. Obviously, you know we have our Instagram page, toy underscore talks, and obviously my personal Instagram page, toy underscorewashington, and of course we're on TikTok, Toy underscore Washington. I'll leave links um in the show notes, but I just want to thank each and every one of you for listening to stay locked in and to continue returning to download and listen. I appreciate you until next time. I'll see you in two weeks. My name is Toy Washington, and you have been listening to the Toy Talks podcast.