Tessa Savage: The Best Is Yet To Come

Talmage interviews Tessa Savage in this episode. Tessa has a unique story because while she was raised in Utah for most of her adolescent years, she moved with her family to Saudi Arabia for her Junior and Senior years of Highschool. After Highschool she did a year of college before getting called to the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission. Being a Covid missionary, she got reassigned to the Missouri independence mission. After returning home, she had the opportunity to be an MTC and seminary teacher and an HXE counselor. 

Throughout all these stories, a theme pops up to know that God has not and will never stop prioritizing you because you are starting a new chapter. You will always see his hand as you look for him. Missionaries often fear they will lose his spirit when they get back, but it doesn't have to be that way. You will find he always prioritizes you as you prioritize your relationship with him. 

If you want to share your story, please complete this form and submit your 500-word story.  

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc76uEhK_v7NmdtzBh9rDjJxk8tdYlLJ6e6qa15ba1nR0sVKA/viewform

@tessa.sav

@talmagethayne

Transcript

Talmage: 0:00

Hey everybody, welcome back to released the podcast. In this episode I got to interview Tessa savage about the best is yet to come. Tessa grew up in Lehi, Utah, where she loved running, dancing and being close to family. When she was 15, she moved to Saudi Arabia and finished high school there. She quickly fell in love with getting to know other cultures and traveling throughout the world. After high school, she moved to Provo and did a year at BYU before receiving her mission call to serve in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission. After three months of serving in Mongolia, she was reassigned to Missouri independence mission and loved finishing her mission there. Since being home from her mission, she taught at the MTC for 15 months, taught seminary at Lone peak, and Tim few high school has been an HSP leader and Fs y counselor, and is currently studying at BYU in hopes to be a high school health and PE teacher. She treasures her mission experiences daily, and is so grateful for the relationships she made on her mission. Tessa has loved seeing that a life with Jesus is so much better and that God's goodness continues even after being released.

Unknown: 1:17

Going away.

Talmage: 1:30

Well, Tessa, thank you so much for coming on, released the podcast. I'm excited to have you I had your brother on last season. And so and he was great, and and then you went on your mission. And you came back. And I saw you at I saw you at your brother's wedding. And you came up and you're like, thank you so much for doing released. I was Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for listening to

Tessa: 1:57

I don't know if you remember this, but I had like, I think you were living with my brother. Actually, when I got home, you're living with Tallinn. And I got home from my mission. And it's just like that awkward time of like, yeah. I'm and I like ran into and you were just like talking and you were like, Oh my gosh, welcome home. I was like, thinks this is so comical. And I think talent brought up. He's like, he has a podcast, go listen to it. And I like started listening to it right when I got home from my mission. And like, it seriously blessed my life so much. So being here is so cool. Because like, I don't know, this podcast has been a big blessing in my life. So you

Talmage: 2:29

were so sweet. Honestly, like that means so much to me to hear someone say that because it's like, hey, yeah, everything you're doing. It's it's kind of working.

Tessa: 2:40

Like literally reading into towns department was such a miracle because like, I don't know, coming home from mission is awesome. It's so fun. But I was in that awkward stage like it was within the first few weeks. And then you're like, here, I made something that helps you and I was like, God is so good. Thank you. So that was a miracle in my life.

Talmage: 2:55

God is good. Man. That's so funny. Well, if you wouldn't mind, could you tell everybody a little bit about your upbringing? How you were raised and what kind of prompted you to go on a mission in the first place.

Tessa: 3:07

Yeah, for sure. I so I grew up. I was born in Pennsylvania. I don't really remember that much. We moved to Utah when I was four. So I grew up in Lehi, Utah, mostly. And lived there. Yeah. Lehigh, same home

Talmage: 3:20

word. We love it. Lehigh 23rd Ward. Ward Thompson. Yeah, seriously.

Tessa: 3:26

Um, so yeah, so I lived there for like, 12 years. And then when I was 15, my parents were like, Hey, we're moving to Saudi Arabia. And I was like, what? Yeah. And so

Talmage: 3:36

I was like, What in the world? Saudi Arabia? We did? Why? Why did you guys go?

Tessa: 3:43

Just for my dad's job. So he works for I always kind of say this wrong, but he works for a company, a transportation company that transports oil, lots of oil in the Middle East. So we went yeah, and it was really cool. So I was there for my junior and senior year.

Talmage: 3:56

What was the and culture like,

Tessa: 3:59

so cool. I like literally, sometimes I say that the only reason my family moved to Saudi was for me, like I needed it so much. I grew up like dancing, playing the piano running. I loved it. And I always say my junior year was going to be my peak year it probably wasn't him but I like to tell myself that it was and so leaving that initially it was like really hard and I was like, I don't want to leave I accidentally backed into my dad's car the day I found out we're moving okay the accident live Hobbit I know we're not I was like, anyhow, so we moved on Saudi is so cool. It's like so different from America obviously like women don't have rights there. So yeah, we couldn't drive I had to wear like an a bio like a Harry Potter robe everywhere I went.

Talmage: 4:42

And you have to wear anything on your head.

Tessa: 4:45

No, like sometimes they tell us to cover but like most places no. Okay, but we just had to wear like the Harry Potter robes via via which was awesome. Super hot. The people I don't know. I literally fell in love with the Middle East and like it was the big His blessing in my life. I remember my first night there I think was like my second night there. There were we had a quite a big a good board there were like, our word was like 300 ish people. Oh, wow, maybe maybe 200. But it was a good size honestly bigger than I thought. Yeah, I'd

Talmage: 5:12

be. It was like the biggest

Tessa: 5:13

word on our steak. Our steak was three countries. So it was Saudi Bahrain and Kuwait. Wow. And we had the biggest award. And then the rest were just like little branches as far

Talmage: 5:21

away was the building.

Tessa: 5:23

Um, so we lived, it was like on this big compounds. That was about 30 minutes away from us, maybe 25. We had like, security to get to church. So it kind of took a while. But I remember like, my second night in Saudi Arabia, I like met these three girls, and they were all members of the church from Utah well, from America. And they were like, welcome to Saudi like, it stinks here. You're gonna hate it. It's gonna be awful. And I was like, Oh, well, welcome. Yeah. And I remember, like, I went home to my mom. And I was like, um, this is what they said, like, it's gonna be awful. And she's like, Yeah, if you make it that way. And that, like changed my life, I think because she taught me like, right, then she's like, it's all up to you. Like, the attitude that you choose to have is the experience that you're going to have. And so I was really grateful for that. Because that just like, has shifted everything for me now, even like, any experience I have that I'm like, boss is gonna stink. It's like, okay, only if I make it that way. Yeah. And so that was like a crucial turning point of my mom. I know, we love mama salad. So that was fun. But Saudi was awesome. I loved it.

Talmage: 6:26

So how did you? What were some of the things that you could have interpreted as really bad and terrible and gone with the same kind of attitude as those other girls? But you, but you didn't?

Tessa: 6:39

That's a really good question. Honestly, God, he's so cool. Um, I don't know if in the moment, I would have recognized it as God, like, I had a good relationship with God, I believed in him. But looking back now I can see like, how involved he was, um, I think like, I loved my high school there. It was over 50 national or 40 nationalities. It was like, not super big. But there were only 10% Americans. And so it was really cool. Like, I was surrounded with people of other ethnicities, and like different backgrounds and different religions, like there weren't many members. And so that was really cool. And I think just like, for me, getting to know that people made such a difference, like getting to know their background, what was important to them and seeing like, oh my gosh, like, there are so many humans in this world who have their own story. And like, when you get to know people, I think it creates every experience, it can create experiences into a positive experience. And I just think about, like the people that influenced my life there. I had some super awesome young woman leaders that like my first Friday went to church on Fridays. So side story bum, my first Friday at church, they just like came up to me, and they're like, we're so happy you're here. And I think like, they were crucial in helping me have a good experience of like, okay, if they're loving living here, having a good experience, then like, I can live here and have a good experience, too. And I think the people that God put in my life, we had this family on our compounds, she she was like 30, and she was my best friends. But we would do like high fitness workouts together all the time, because she was getting certified. And I love dancing. And so like having that. And so I think it was just like, choosing to find the good. Yeah. Because obviously there were a lot of hard things like I just turned 16 couldn't get my license, because I couldn't drive for I like, teams. Yeah, actually, I love that. Because I don't like driving. But like, that's hard, right? Like, I had to give up dancing and running on my cross country team and all those things. Yeah. Because but it's like girls didn't do sports over there. Right? They couldn't my high school. I just like, didn't have dance, though. And that was like, my main thing. Yeah. And they did have running, but it was just like, you ran circles around your tiny compound, and I just did a wasn't a pop up. Yeah. So I think it was just like, choosing to see that there really is good. Sometimes it might not be the good that you expect. But there's still good in every place that you're in. Yeah. And it's just like, yeah, sometimes you're gonna have to look a little harder for it. But it's worth the effort, because it makes your experience so much better.

Talmage: 8:56

Dang, that is amazing. That is amazing. And was it during that time that you decided that you wanted to go on a mission? Or were you always like, I'm gonna go,

Tessa: 9:05

Yeah, I actually always wanted to serve a mission. My mom said that, like, when I was four, I used to be like, I'm gonna go to mission. So it was kind of just like a lifelong goal. But I'd say it was definitely enhanced when I was in Saudi because they're like, the main religion is Muslim, right? And it's like, super, super illegal to be Christian and to excerpt not exercise to practice Christianity. So like, we couldn't tell people we went to church. My early morning seminary was called golf lessons because like, we couldn't talk about Jesus. And so I think like, yeah, so I went to golf lessons every morning. I don't golf though. That's fine. But I think like, not being able to talk about Jesus, but seeing how many people needed him was like, like, I just can't wait to go tell people that Jesus lives, but also like I was inspired because Muslims, they have prayer time, five times a day. And so five times a day everything closes down to pray. That is so it was like inspiring to see how devoted they were to their religion that it was like oh my gosh, like the least I can do is be devoted to my religion and help other people learn about the joy that it's brought me. So I always wanted to serve a mission, but it definitely did get enhanced while I was in Saudi.

Talmage: 10:08

Wow, that is so cool. Yeah. And so did you come back to America before putting in your papers and everything?

Tessa: 10:15

Yeah. So I did my junior and senior year of high school in Saudi. And I graduated at I don't know what I 17. And so I had like a year and a half before I could go on my mission. So I did a year of college at BYU. And the whole year, I was just like, I just want to go on my mission. Like I was so excited. My sister had just gotten back from her mission. We did our freshman year of college together, which was really fun.

Talmage: 10:35

Did she go again?

Tessa: 10:36

She served in Japan, Japan. Yeah. Oh, sick. And so it was really fun. Just like her being a freshly returned missionary and me like wanting to go. And our little friend group was like me, and then all people her age, so they were all fresh RMS and I was just like, Oh, I'm

Talmage: 10:49

so excited to go. So fun. So yeah, okay, well, where did you get called?

Tessa: 10:54

Oh my gosh, it was so happy. So I originally got called to the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission

Talmage: 10:59

was to be my like, one of my dream missions. I don't go to Scotland and Ireland. I want to go to really?

Tessa: 11:04

Yeah. Oh my gosh, I would want to go to it's literally the coolest, um, and I loved it. So I got my call. I waited like five months to go on my mission just because I didn't turn my team. Yeah, yeah, because I didn't turn 18 until September. So I like submitted my papers as soon as I could. And then I had to wait five months. So got my call. Yeah, waited five months. Once the MTC I was in the MTC for 10 weeks. And it was awesome. Kind of funny. I actually was like, so excited to go teach about Jesus. Right. Mongolia is a nonprofit lending mission. So I was like, oh, like, what, but I also was so stoked about

Talmage: 11:40

it. I'm cross sliding mission. So it's just mainly service. And we

Tessa: 11:43

taught English mostly. Oh, really? Yeah. Like we didn't wear name tags. And we would go teach English. That's how we're in the MTC for 10 weeks. It was like nine weeks language learning Mongolian, which I still don't know. But it's okay. And then the 10th week well, it was like mixed in. But one of the weeks we went to BYU campus and got like, certified to teach English.

Talmage: 12:02

That's cool. Yeah. So it's really cool. That is awesome. So What year was this? This was 2019 2019. Okay, and then you got out on the mission. You went to Mongolia? Yep.

Tessa: 12:13

So what was that? Yeah. Oh, my gosh, so cool. I then I just want to cry thinking about Mongolia. Like literally, I ran into the elders and probably yesterday, and they're like, we just baptized a Mongolian grill. And I was like, Oh, they're so cool. Um, I said, I always want to serve a mission. The first time I doubted serving a mission was my second day in Mongolia. And we got there super late one night. We like just kind of went we went and got pizza with our mission. President went to bed. And then we the next day he like told us our companions of BIA was so excited. He's like advices, to savage. You're going to be with Sr. Monks to take you're going out to dada. And I was like, awesome. What is this? And so I got my companion. We got a little taxi and we went to a train station. And we sat down on this train. And we had a six hour train ride. And these like cute Mongolian sisters. So I was I lived with five Mongolian sisters my first chance. And we're going six hours from the main city. And I remember we were sitting on the bus and they were all just like, oh, like so much act like you're so cute. Like, oh my gosh, I was

Talmage: 13:15

like, what it was a very many Americans know that mission. There weren't a

Tessa: 13:19

ton, like maybe 30. But it wasn't a huge mission. Yeah, there were maybe 6070 missionaries. So but I remember they were just talking to me. And I had no idea what they were saying. It was all a Mongolian. And I was like, What the heck am I doing? Like, am I crazy? And then the train left and there was no going back? And like, obviously, I'm so glad that I go back. But yeah,

Talmage: 13:40

that is so fun. What can you name one less the lesson that you learned on the mission or an experience that you had? That kind of changed you your perception? Just changed you for the better?

Tessa: 13:54

Yeah, for sure. Um, kind of two come to mind. The first is like Jesus Christ. Toma is so real. And it's 100% for our sins, and like so that we can repent. But it's so much more than that. Being among glue was incredible. But it was really hard at first because I like didn't speak the language. Yeah. And I couldn't understand my companion very well, like we had little conversations, but I couldn't talk to her about a ton. And I remember like growing up, I always heard people be like, rely on Christ rely on Christ. He's there for you. I never really understood what that meant until I got to Mongolia when I was like, I literally have no one to rely on right now. Yeah, I'm gonna try this Jesus thing. And it was like, so cool. Just seeing how much his atonement gave me the strength. And we went like, I think my first experience that I really remember recognizing how real His Atonement was, was we went to this house. And it was like the young man he was a man in the ward. And I'd seen him at church every week, but I thought he was the only member in his family but turns out his parents were members. But we walked in and like his dad was paralyzed. And so that's why the parents never came to churches because the roads were so icy like they couldn't get him to church. And so we walk in, the mom, like, sits him up, like propped him up on this table so he can hold himself up. And he just started talking to me, it was a Mongolian, but he like spoke so slow. And I feel like he was one of the first people that like, actually tried to get to know me for who I was, and like, was genuinely interested in like my school and my work experience before the mission. And and here we were reading mosaic 14 together, which is talking all about Jesus and His Atonement, and just like, how he was bruised for our afflictions, and wounded and all these things he did for us. And this man just like started weeping, and like tears were falling down his face. And his wife would like we reach up and wipe a tear off his face, and then his son would like do the other cheek. And it was in that moment that I was like, man, like, if this man who can't do anything for himself, like, he can't hold open the Book of Mormon, he can't wipe his own tears off his face, like if he is crying over what Jesus Christ has done for him. Like, obviously, Jesus Christ isn't so much for us all. And so that's kind of when I realized like, that His Atonement isn't just for my mistakes that I've made. It is, but it like can empower me and that can give me strength. When I can't understand anyone. It can give me strength when maybe I feel paralyzed with whatever I'm going through my life. Like, His Atonement is there for us. 100%. So I'm super grateful for Jesus. I love him.

Talmage: 16:23

Wow. That is an amazing story that just seeing that picturing that a guy that cannot move. And then a hot man, that is so heartwarming,

Tessa: 16:35

yeah, he's cool, man. I don't know his name. I can't remember it. But it's so cool.

Talmage: 16:41

Oh, man, that is amazing. Yeah. Well, you were in Mongolia, and then and then you came. When did you come home?

Tessa: 16:52

Well, so I actually didn't finish my mission. Mongolia, okay. Because that's what I thought, yeah, this whole COVID thing happened. Yeah. Um, so I was in Mongolia for three months. Right. My first transfer, I was in one area, second transfer, I went with my companion to a new area. It was great. I learned so many lessons. God is real. And then there is a day that my mission president called us well, so COVID started in like January in Mongolia, because it was right about China. Oh, yeah. So COVID has like, had been a real issue for us for a while. So we were like, Okay, this whole COVID thing, but they were like March 1, everything is opening back up. We're like, we magical day on March 1. Um, so anyhow, COVID had been an issue, but like, wasn't really an issue. We couldn't go like, we weren't going to church anymore. But we were still meeting with members. So it was just like, whatever. But then we got a call from our mission president one day, my companion i and the elders in our area, and he's like, You need to get to the main city immediately. Because like most of Mongolia is in the main city. And then there's like the countryside. He's like, You need to get to the main city immediately with all your stuff. And we were like, Let's go, oh, so we get to the main city. And we lived with these other sisters for a few days. And he's like, they're closing all the roads to the main cities, like we have to have all white missionaries, American missionaries in that means any any of us were there for a couple days. And then one day, they were like, hey, Mission wise zoom call woohoo. And we get on and they were like low key playing. I'll go where you want me to go in the background that was so slight of them. But my mission president it was like super quick. He just got on. He's like, Hey, guys. I'm gonna do this in English person will speak a Mongolian. The church has decided that all you missionaries need to go home and get sent back to your original country. And so like, you're going home. And we'll call you within the next few hours and give you reassignment. But just like, get ready. We've loved having you here like, well, but like you're going home. So that was kind of crazy. So he called me a few hours later. He's like, says they're savage. We've loved having you on our mission. You're getting reassigned to the Missouri independence mission. You leave tomorrow morning at 3am. So get packed. I was like, okay, so Yeah. Kind of wild.

Talmage: 18:56

You COVID missionaries. Were so quirky. Have the, like, weirdest. And just like a typical experience. Yeah. From most missionaries.

Tessa: 19:09

Oh, unique.

Talmage: 19:10

Yeah. And yeah, that would that would throw me for a loop. Yeah. Like you've taken all of this time, 10 weeks in the MTC, 10 weeks of your life, to learn a language to learn how to teach it. And then you spend only three months. Yeah, and the mission, just barely the over the amount of time you spent in the MTC and then you're barely learning to like, love and really embrace these people. And then they're like, Okay, go home. Like if I have like, I was planning on doing this for another year. Yeah, that's not Yeah. And it was wild. And so did you did you leave to Missouri immediately. So

Tessa: 19:51

we had to go home and quarantine for two weeks. And then at the end of our two weeks if we didn't show any symptoms of any sickness, then we could go back out. So I went home, was the home For my family for two weeks, I didn't get released. Like I was still missionary solid. My tag still kept missionary schedule. Who was your companion? Just my family district? Anybody? Yeah. Anybody that was around? Yeah, it was really fun. Um, but really hard. I was like, I do not want to be home right now. Like, yeah, give me back out. And so it was a really big blessing. And then that we those two weeks were kind of funny, though, because my parents were like, like, the world's probably going to shut down at this point. I'm like, no, no, it'll be fine. And they're like, Are you sure you want to go back out? And I was like, Oh, 100% Like, no doubt I'm going back out. And then I some of it was March 12, or March 13 is the day that I like, went out to Missouri, but March 12. That's when like, church got shut down worldwide, and like the world kind of shut down. And then I left for Missouri the next day, like my goodness,

Talmage: 20:46

okay. Bye. Goodbye.

Tessa: 20:49

So, yeah, and say goodbye to family around two. That's hard. It's hard this time, but it was like so worth it. Because I was like, Hey, I'm gonna go be missionary again. Yeah, so and so

Talmage: 20:58

you're a greeny again. In Missouri. Yeah. So did you just get there? The Mr. President's like, here's your trainer. Not really. Oh,

Tessa: 21:08

no. He was like, he was like, Oh, you've been out three months, dude. I'm being trained. Let's go. And so he actually sent me with a girl and she with his sister. She was also just getting out of training. So we I had more time in the mission, just because I was in the MTC longer. We actually in the MTC together, I literally took a picture of her district. It's so funny. Um, but yeah, so she was also so I got there a week before their transfers. So I was actually with her her last, like her 12th week of training. And I was in a trio with her trainer for a week. And then transfers came and there her trainer left, and then it was just me and her thrown there. Yes. Yeah.

Talmage: 21:40

And so you guys were just kind of locked in your apartment for a

Tessa: 21:43

while? Yeah, we didn't leave. We could go on to 20 minute walks a day. And it was great. Yeah, that was about it. And then we just did everything inside.

Talmage: 21:53

Yeah. Yeah. Well, what what is something that you learned from this part of your mission? This this half of your mission and experience story? Yeah, I realization

Tessa: 22:03

so much. I'm making that adjustment was really hard. Like going from Mongolia to Missouri. I was actually in Kansas for the first six months of my time. But, um, I remember like, the first day, I was talking to my parents, and all missionaries are playing volleyball. My mom was like, You should go play with them. I was like, like, these aren't my people. Like, no. She's like, doesn't like, need social contact. I'm like, I don't know, Mom, I don't know, I feel like everybody has their name tag on and I don't know what to do. I feel like we're gonna get in trouble. It was just, but I like learn to trust in God's plan for me like another because like you said, like, I'd spent five months preparing to go to Mongolia. And then 10 weeks in the MTC and then three months there. And I don't know if like, God blessed me like to fall in love with those people so fast. And so to leave that and all of a sudden, like, I'd spent so long yearning to be in Mongolia, and all of a sudden, it was like, you're actually going to be in Kansas, like middle of nowhere, Kansas. And I was like, but I just learned that like Kansas, I know, I, Kansas biggest fan. Somebody says they're from Kansas, and I'm like, No way. Yeah. Um, but I just learned that like, God has a perfect time for me. And looking back, like, there were people I needed to meet the companions. I had I 100% needed them. My mission president, I had two mission presidents in Missouri. And like, I needed them both for a while. We got the option. Even though I was already in my reassignment. They're like, Okay, you have the option. You can go home and wait for Mongolia to open up. Or you can stay here and keep serving. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like, what do I do? And I really wanted to go back to Mongolia. So I was like, I think I'm gonna go home. My mission president's like, You're staying here. Like, we need you here, Sister savage. And I was like,

Talmage: 23:51

I'll give you a choice. You go home. You're just kidding, right? Wrong choice. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Tessa: 23:55

So I stayed. And I'm so grateful that I because I didn't want to be done with my mission. I just wanted to go back to Mongolia. Yeah. And so I stayed. And I was like, okay, then like, I'm all in here. And I just committed like, Okay, this is my mission, at least for now, if I go back to Mongolia, awesome, but if I don't awesome, like, this is where the Lord needs me. And I like that was the best decision that happened for me. I don't know if I necessarily made that decision. But it happened for me. And I'm so grateful that it did because I learned to trust that God has a perfect plan for me. And that, yeah, I didn't get to serve where I expected to serve. But like, such as a life with God, we make plans for ourselves all the time. And he's like, great job. Like, I'm so glad you thought this was the plan. Let me actually show you that better way. Like let me help you see that. I actually have a perfect plan for your life. And if you just trust me if you just let me prevail. I'm gonna make everything work out. Yeah. And I'm going to make it better. If I finished my mission in Mongolia, it would have been awesome. But there were experiences that I needed to had people I needed to meet like I still have some of my best friends from my independence mission. That like I talked to all the time. I lived with a companion When I got home, like, I'm still in touch with all them. And I just like really needed that time in Missouri and Kansas.

Talmage: 25:06

God is so much better planning than we are.

Tessa: 25:08

Oh my gosh, yeah.

Talmage: 25:09

What am I really think we're so like, we think we got to figure it out. But then he comes up with something way better like, fine.

Tessa: 25:16

Literally, you're one of my favorite conference oxes I don't remember the other 100 outdoor one of them, but they're like God is holding our calendar. And like that hit me so hard, because I was like, man, like, God knows that I need to be here with these missionaries and these members and have these experiences. And like, he's got my calendar all figured out.

Talmage: 25:34

Yeah. He's the perfect assistant. Yeah. Man, that is so good. Well, tell me a little bit about your, your time coming back from the mission being released from the mission. We kind of touched on it in the beginning of this episode, where you're like, kind of just not knowing what to do next year. Feeling a little awkward. Did it so you went through a little awkward phase? Yeah. Okay. Um, well,

Tessa: 26:05

just like a little bit of backup, like the last chance for my mission. Oh, my gosh, I didn't know once I go home. Like, I had convinced so many elders to give me some of their months so that I could serve for at least two years. I would always beg others. Do you want to like, can you just donate me a month, like I had so many extra months that accumulated I'd asked my president to extend, it didn't work out. I got sent home my 18 months, but it was fine. I know. But I didn't. I know. I was like jerks, just kidding. Great people. But I did not want to go home. And the last chance for my mission. They like to have you start doing my plan or whatever. And my companion was like, you have to do my plan. I was like, No, I'm not doing my plan. Like, I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I'm going home. Yeah, um, but it was really scary. And I think I was actually thinking about this earlier today. I think part of the reason is going back to when I lived in Saudi Arabia, like, I became a whole new person there. And I like became much more outgoing and like, loved people more and just like, became a better version of myself. And then my family would come home in the summers, and I'd kind of revert to my old habit. Yeah. And my mom was like, we're Saudi Tessa, like, why did you test to appear again, like, bring Saudi Tessa home to Utah. And so I think I was really nervous to go home from a mission because I was like, I love mission Tessa, like, I love sister savage. I love who she's become. I love like her relationship with Jesus Christ. And I just loved like, the joy that I felt just like pure joy, right? Like, you know, the feeling that comes from being a missionary. And I never wanted those feelings to end. And so for the last chapter of my mission, like, every night, when I prayed, I was just like, please help me know how I can maintain these changes that I've had on my mission. Like, I have changed. I've become a committed disciple of Jesus Christ, not just someone who lives as a member, but like, I want to be best friends with Jesus, and I want to work with him. And so I would always just pray like at night, I want to think about it in the day, like the only time I can think about this is after 9:30pm. But my nighttime prayers are big, please, like help me know what I can do to maintain these changes. And every night I got the same answer. It was like, keep studying the scriptures. Keep saying your prayers. And I was like, Okay. Like, what else? And I said that prayer for who knows how long? A couple weeks? And every time it was the same answer. And I was like, there has to be more though. And so it was the last day of my mission. And on the last day of our mission, we went to Adam on Dielman, which was like, Soul seekers. And my mission president just gave us time. He's like, can you have the next 20 minutes, like, go make a plan with God for your life. And so we just like spread out in these fields. And I was just like pleading with the Lord. I was like, please, like, I love how I feel as a missionary and like, I never want this way to end. And so home is not a zoo. And the Scripture, it's like Alma 37 came to mind where it's like, Don't doubt the answer I'm giving you because the easiness of the way. And so he's like, just cuz reading your scriptures and saying your prayers sound so simple. He's like, Don't doubt. And so I was like, okay, lesson learned, sorry, I doubt it. But like, coming home, I was like, Okay, I just need to keep setting my scriptures and saying my prayers, and like serving people. Those are the three things my mission president always talked about. And it's been cool. It's so cool to see that, like, those things are the things that work. And when you keep setting your scriptures, you keep saying your prayers. You keep serving people. When you do the things you did on your mission. You're gonna feel the joy that you fell on your mission. So I got home. It was great. I like got a job was working like fizzy drinks. Woohoo. I worked there before my mission. So they gave me a job after just while I was like in between. And then I applied to work at the MTC and I got the job. I was the happiest day.

Talmage: 29:35

Are you teaching Mongolian?

Tessa: 29:36

Oh, heck no. I did not speak Mongolia. I teach in English. Um, I will I wanted to teach Mongolian but I was like, I can't even have a conversation. There's no way I could teach it. Yeah, so I taught English. And that was like the biggest miracle I got a district after working like four days. They're like, oh, we need you to sell but we're actually just gonna have to take over the district. And I had like the most solid missionaries who were so prepared And so prepared to teach the gospel and so like hyped about it. And I'd been home for like three weeks at this point. So I was like, Guys missions are the best, like, so hyped. And I remember it was one of our last my last days with him we just had like so many holy experiences. And I was one of my last days with them. And I was just like, hey, like, I just want you to set some goals for the next 18 months or two years and just like ponder and reflect, like, what have you learned from the MTC and from your life that you're going to apply into your mission. And I was kind of just reflecting on the past three weeks as well. And I just remember, like, the only thing that came to mind is like the best is yet to come. And it was so cool that like the joy and the happiness and the peace that I felt on my mission. I had felt in those weeks since being home had been about like five weeks at this point that I've been home and I was like, Oh my gosh, like, I'm still feeling that joy. And I was like this can keep going on like the best really is yet to come. God is in the God of just like, I'm sorry, you maxed out, the rest of her life is going to be miserable. But he's a card of upgrades. And so every day, like if we commit ourselves to Him, He's going to be willing to give us those great experiences. So coming on, like was awkward, but it was really eye opening of like, oh, God's not done being good. Like, I thought he was gonna quit caring about me as much when I go home. But turns out he still cares about me. Turns out he still loves me. And like he's really going to be with me as I go on this journey with him. Awesome. Goodness.

Talmage: 31:22

That gave me chills to hear because I had that same really like doubt. Yeah. If I'm not a missionary, I don't know if Did you ever read power of everyday missionary?

Tessa: 31:34

No, that sounds cool, though. Great, great,

Talmage: 31:38

great book. And it's talking about, like member missionary work. And I misinterpreted it. But in a part of that book, he's talking about how he God gives His biggest weapons to the people on the frontlines as missionaries. So he'll give more of His Spirit to people on the frontlines. Yes. And so I was like, Oh, I'm no longer on the frontlines. Therefore, I don't get the spirit as much. And so I totally misinterpreted what he was saying. And I was just like, yeah, the mission was amazing. It's kind of downhill from here. Yeah. And it was so sad. It was so sad. I'm like, What was all that for? And I just lost purpose and all this stuff. But, but the fact that you listen to God, even though it's a very simple answer, read your scriptures, say your prayers, serve people. It kept that purpose in your life. And that joy and that spirit. And honestly, I remember I talking to you at talents wedding, and it was honestly kind of disarming because of how friendly and warm and exciting, exciting you were. And I was like, I was like, man, like, I honestly haven't seen this side of Tessa. I knew that I knew the Utah test. But I didn't know the missionary Saudi Arabia, Tessa, and I was like, wow, this is. This is amazing. So you didn't revert back to your old cell. Thank you. He's so good. I know. And I totally know how you feel, though. Like I've definitely reverted back to and I have to at times like, yeah, and how can we all do? Yeah, but, but when you can change and sustain that change in old environment. Then you're like, wow, God has changed me. Oh, yeah. Totally. That is so cool. Totally. Man. And so yeah, that that is one thing I really wish I did, as well as work at the MTC Oh,

Tessa: 33:44

oh, I love my job at the MTC so much. It was the best experience ever. And it changed me even more like, it's so good.

Talmage: 33:51

Yeah. My dad's had, it was the best job he's ever had. Even till this day. He's like, people

Tessa: 33:57

told me that like, oh, like, that's sorry. I'm like, dang. Yeah, like I'm maxed out already.

Talmage: 34:05

He, he taught the old senior. Oh, yeah. So your dad would be so good at that. He was he was amazing. But I think I didn't do it because I think I tricked myself into believing that God didn't want me to. Like there's a there's a quote. Was it alter Vinland this past conference, where he's talking about Revelation? He's like, some of the biggest harms and like, worst things that have happened? Yeah, I've been done by people who think they're receiving revelation.

Tessa: 34:42

But there Yes, yes, I'm talking about that.

Talmage: 34:44

And I think I had just not been keeping up with my scripture, study my prayers. And I was feeling a lot of self doubt and just feeling lost. And then I'm like, I can't teach at the MTC, even though that was a dream of Mind coming back. I was like, I really want to do it, but I can't, but I can't. And so I'm like, so God doesn't want me to. And so I never did it. And

Tessa: 35:10

that's crazy. But it totally happens. And I

Talmage: 35:13

kicked myself for it. But the great thing about God is, he knew I was gonna make that mistake. And I didn't ruin his plan. He like he's gonna, his plan is still going to be amazing. Luckily, this podcast was part of that plan.

Tessa: 35:28

I was gonna say like, not look at what you're doing. It's incredible. Yeah, it's

Talmage: 35:32

been fun. Yeah, tell me. Um, yeah. I just love hearing about your story. Coming back. It's so fun. It was there it was there any other like experiences that you had that kind of solidified that? That perception that the best is yet to come?

Tessa: 35:52

Oh, my goodness. It's hard to like to just one experience. I think like a couple come to mind. One, though, just happened recently. And I actually it's funny, because this was around the time, like, you would have originally asked me to come be on the podcast. And so I was kind of like trying to I'm like, How did I feel at the end of my mission. And then God gave me this experience. And I'm like, Oh, my God, this is how I felt, ya know, my mission. And it was, so I call him from admission. I taught at the MTC for nine months. And then like, last minute, I had been in the class where like, you can get prepared to teach seminary. And I was like, I don't know if I want to teach seminary, but I'll consider it. And I took the class and then they're like, Okay, maybe we'll have you start teaching like, next fall. And I was like, perfect. Like, I want to keep teaching at the MTC winter semester anyway. Well, midway through winter semester, they call me they're like, hey, we need a replacement teacher right now. And I was like, Oh, I'd love to. And it like fell out of my mouth. I was like, What did I just say? So I went into seminary for the rest of that semester. So that was like, a year ago right now. I taught Olympic High

Talmage: 36:49

School. You'd be such a fun, teacher. Honestly, I have a lot of parties. I that's kind of that's so fun. Anyway, so I

Tessa: 36:57

taught at Olympic. I just kind of rough. Like, it was actually really hard. I knew it was exactly what God needed me to do, like I knew, but it was really hard. Yeah. And Anywho. So then that happened. I was gonna teach again, and then in the fall, so like, a few months ago, fall, but it just didn't work out with my school schedule, just because like with my major and all that I couldn't work, what are you studying? I'm an education major. So I want to teach high school health and PE, that's and so my classes happen when high school is in session. So I couldn't teach seminary because that's what high school is in session. So it just didn't work out. So they're like, how about you just take a gap semester, you can come back in the winter. And I was like, perfect. So I went back to the MTC and I was like, Oh, baby, like, let's go. I love the MTC. So I taught at the MTC last semester, and just like, wow, I needed those people. I had my same supervisor that I had the year before. And he like, he just teaches in such a powerful way that I needed him again, my super cool friends. And it was like, oh, like, God got better, like, so I'm gonna it was kind of rough. But I'm back in the MTC and it's so good. And then I kind of started having the thoughts of like, oh, it's because I'm working with missionaries again. And like, no wonder seminar wasn't as good. I wasn't working with missionaries, like I wasn't on the front lines, like you were talking about earlier. And so I was like, well shoot, like, after the semester, I'm done at the MTC does that mean, I'm not going to be on the front lines anymore, does that mean I'm not going to be as important anymore? Like better just like, enjoy those normal ball loss. And so I had so many fun districts like those missionaries changed my life last semester. And then I was coming up on the last week of the semester, and I knew that I was quitting. And I was like, This is my last week here. Yeah, TC, again, another scary moment. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, and this is like, what flashed me back to my end of my mission is I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm not gonna be working with God's missionaries anymore. He's not gonna care about me as much, obviously, he's still gonna love me, I'm sure he'll still be good. But like, he's not gonna love me as much, or he's not gonna, I'm not gonna be as much of a priority in his life anymore in his eyes. And like that syncs correct me. But I was sitting with this district, I had finished teaching my district the week before. So I was kind of just like bouncing around to different districts, my last week at the MTC, and I was in with these missionaries, and we were doing a Book of Mormon, or a Book of Mormon read. And we're reading in second Nephi for and this is when Nephi is like, I'm such a wretched man, like, I've made all these mistakes, but I've trusted in a good God. And he's led me through my afflictions in the wilderness. And he's helped me at this time in this time. And I literally just started crying right there. Because that was like the chapter I read a few hours after I found out I was leaving Mongolia. And I remember reading in second Nephi, for in Mongolia. And kind of rewriting it was like, man, like, Mongolia has been so hard, but I've trusted in a good God. And he's led me through my afflictions in my first transfer. And he's helped me and fill me with a consuming amount of love for my companion and these people. And he's helped me learn better things. And I was like, wow, And so as I was sitting in the MTC Like, I literally felt like I was sitting in Mongolia again, reading that chapter. And then God was like Tessa, like, do you remember how scared you were to leave Mongolia? But look how good Missouri and Kansas were. And my heart was like, Oh, you're right. And then he's like, and then remember, like, how scared you were to come home from your mission. But like, look how good your life has been since and I was like, Oh, my gosh, like, you're right. And he's like, does that I don't, I don't love you, because you're a missionary. I don't love you. Because you're working at the MTC. He's like, I love you, because you're my daughter. And I'm not prioritizing you, because you're teaching my missionaries. Like I'm prioritizing you, because you're keeping your covenants to the best of your ability. And so it was like, God doesn't love us because of our calling, or because of our tag that we were, but he loves us because we're His children. And because he's faithful to his covenant keepers. So

Talmage: 40:54

day, that is so good. Wow. That reminds me of elder Holland story, when he's talking about that sister, that goes up to him. And she's like, I've never been a leader in the church. But I've been a good helper. And then he's like, crying. And he's just like, if I can't remember the words, exactly. But he's like, if only you knew, like, how many of us leaders wish we were in as good of standing with God, as you are a helper that God will never prioritize? Like you said, somebody over you. Yeah. Because of their calling, because of anything that they're doing. The thing he looks at, is the personal covenants you have made with him. Totally. That is so powerful. What a what an amazing lesson to know that. You'll always be loved because you're his daughter. Yeah. But you'll always be blessed beyond belief. Because you keep his covenant. Keep your covenant.

Tessa: 42:07

Yeah. It was a cool, it was a coolest. And then, like, definitely Sunday needed to hear, because it kind of makes me think of what you're saying, like you had that dream about how you shouldn't work at the MTC. I think it's so easy to be like, Oh, I, I made a mistake. God doesn't love me, or, Oh, I'm, I'm not perfect. God must not love me. But he loves us like we're His children. And I don't have kids. But like, I know how much my parents loved me. And I know that God's love is like next step, right? Like, he cares about us so much. And I think if we're willing to show him like I'm committed to even if we're not committed to Him, He still loves us. But like, the more commitment we show him, the more we'll be focusing on him. And so naturally, we'll see more of his goodness, my mission president is to always say like, what you focus on gets bigger. And so this month of my seminar class, we're doing like miracle March, and just looking for God's miracles. And it's been so fun. Because my students have been coming to class like that, then they're like, just listen to this miracle that I saw. And I'm like, Yeah, it's like, when we look for these things, when we look for God's goodness in our life, we're gonna see it more on the mission. We're so focused every day. I don't know my like, I don't know if you guys did this, but I feel like you're always like, what miracles? Did you see elders and sisters at the end of the day? And it's like, no doubt, we're seeing miracles on our mission. We're looking for them. And we're like, choosing to be connected with God. And so why do we lose that when we come home? Yeah, like, we can still see these miracles that God is performing. He performed like 20 miracles in my life yesterday, you know what I mean? Yeah. And like, he's already performed miracles in my life today. Like, he doesn't stop being good. I think we stop looking for His goodness. And we start, like, making him being not good. But like, if we choose, let him still be good. We choose to still commit ourselves to Him. He's gonna show us that he's the same yesterday and today and forever. And so he's always going to have that goodness for us in our lives,

Talmage: 43:55

man. Yeah, I love that. I love that it is really your perception, how you where you're looking for him? And how you choose to see him totally. Because I've seen the opposite, where people are like, Well, if God was good, then this wouldn't happen or if all this stuff, but it's just like, Okay, let's look at where those two thought processes take you totally. Let's see how it affects your life. And without fail, everybody that is looking for God's goodness, they find it Oh, and they live, such better. enriching lives. Yeah. That are that's full of amazing relationships and great experiences of service. And hopefully, I don't know, it's just hands down. There's no competition between those two thought processes, for sure.

Tessa: 44:54

Well, I think it's cool. Like I did a class last semester and this professor he's like, my biggest role model. He's still But but he always talked about, he's like, the stories you tell yourself are so important. And so he's like, we need to be telling ourselves about our stories. And like, I've just seen it. Like when I was about to leave the MTC, back in December, I was like, Look, I'm just so scared to go teach somebody, like, it wasn't great last time when I taught at Lone peak, like, it probably isn't going to be good this time. And I was like, really telling myself a negative story. And it was another day with missionaries, we were reading something else. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I need to tell myself a better story. And so and so I started being like, okay, like, obviously, I need to tell myself a better story. And so I started telling myself, like, I'm so excited to go teach seminary because it's going to be hard. And I'm going to have to rely on Christ's Atonement more, and I'm gonna get closer to him. And then everything shifted, and I let go. So so to seminary, I love teaching seminary now, it's so fun. But it was like, I was telling myself such a negative story like, this is going to be awful. And no, no, it's going to be awful, if that's what I was telling myself. But it's like, we have to be telling ourselves positive stories, we have to be telling ourselves like, God's on my side, he's going to help me he's not going to abandon me no matter what. And so like, we're going to choose to leave God, he's not going to choose to leave us ever. And so as we stick to him, he'll stick with us. And he'll stick with us even when we don't, because he's,

Talmage: 46:11

yeah, actually, in the first episode of this season, I interviewed my dad. And he talks about that same thing. He is like, the story we tell ourselves about our mission even is because you can't say all of your experiences all of your feelings to someone. So be very careful for how you explain your mission to people. Because that will shape your life. And oh, and our mission. And like, the thing is that people say you can't change the past, but in a way you can, by the stories, you tell yourself, you are literally changing the past into something you want it to be. And so with all the mistakes I made, on my mind, like coming back from a mission, yeah, that is something I didn't make. I loved my mission. And I told amazing stories about it. And I had such a love for that. And I can't tell you how much of a blessing that was for me.

Tessa: 47:07

While you're talking about like, it just made me think back to an experience I had with some missionaries, like over a year ago. But we were just like chatting, they were on a break. And then their break ended. I was like, Alright, let's go time to work again. And I started like teaching second hour. And I'm gonna remember what we were supposed to be talking about. But this elder just goes, I'm so scared to invite people to be baptized. And I was like, what? And the spirit was like sisters have to you have to teach them how to invite people to baptize right now. And I was like, Oh, I didn't prepare for that. And so I was like, say less. Okay, so I like set apart. I'm like, Please help. And we just like, practiced and practiced and practiced inviting someone to be baptized and even just like saying the words right, like, were we inviting anybody to be baptized? We were inviting their companions like their members, right? But just like saying the words anyhow. So we practiced it for like an hour. And then at the end, like this elder was just like, oh, my gosh, I feel so stoked right now. Yeah. And I was like, other What's that feeling? Like? Where's that coming from? He's like, is that the spirit? And I was like, yeah. And so I think like, sometimes when we come home from our missions, like, and even just in life, like we expect the Spirit to speak to us in one way, like, it's gonna be that solid. Like, I'm crying tears in my eyes feeling. But I'm the biggest believer that the Spirit speaks to us in all different ways. Galatians teaches us right, like, the fruits of the Spirit are peace, love, joy, like, I don't know, when I feel the spirit. I just so hyped up. Like, I'm like, Let's go run a marathon. Like, I feel so good. Right now. God is so good. And for me, I know that that's the spirit. And so I think sometimes, like we tell ourselves these stories of if I'm not crying, if I'm not, like, filling it completely in this somber way, I'm not feeling the spirit. But that's like, like debilitating us with that story. We're telling ourselves, we need to tell ourselves like, no, no, no, if I'm feeling joy, all good things come from God, that is from God. That is a feeling that God is giving me. And like, if I'm feeling peaceful, and grateful and excited, like, that's God, and that's the spirit. And so I think, coming on from missions, but even just every day, like, if we tell ourselves, we don't know how to connect with God, that's what's going to happen. But if we tell ourselves like, oh, no, no, I know how to feel God, or I know how to reach out to God. And I know how to listen patiently until he speaks to me or until I feel him. Like those are the stories we need to be telling ourselves so that we can feel that God really is with us all the time. And we need to tell ourselves that because he is, and so we shouldn't be telling ourselves like, oh, God's leaving me. He doesn't care about me, because that's so fake. That's it, and he's such a bum. He's a liar. Yeah, he's the worst. Like, God is so good. And if we tell ourselves that and we let ourselves believe that he really wants to be with us, then we're going to see him and we're going to experience His goodness, everything.

Talmage: 49:46

Amen. Okay, so thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Before we end. Is there any last thing you want to share with these return missionaries? That's a story lesson. Just a piece of advice that you, you really want to share before we end.

Tessa: 50:05

If anything, I would just say, like, be so stoked when you wake up every day. Be so stoked when you come home from your mission. Be so stoked when you start a new semester of school when you start a new year. Be so stoked to see the goodness that God has in store for you. I think it's easy to be scared, I'm scared a lot. I'm scared of new changes and new beginnings that happen. But like, I know with everything in me that God's goodness never ends. And so to anybody who's experiencing a change in their life, especially returning missionaries, just be so excited to see the good things that God has in store. I know he has opportunity we kind of talked about this, but like, a few weeks after my mission, I went to an HSP event Riccio fly, but and I got to go help it like this trip leader training. And that was like the biggest miracle. And then because of that, the next summer so this past summer, I was able to be a troop leader. And now I'm going to go be a troop leader again this summer. And like, that was an opportunity that just came from God. And because I was looking like, he brought it to me, I wasn't looking for that I was looking to do good. I was looking to stay connected with him and to help other people be connected with him. And he brought that to me. I was looking to love God and love people, right. And he provides opportunities to do that every day. And so I'd say if anything, like just be excited to see the good things God has in store for you. Ignore the people that say you're gonna quit feeling the spirit because that's such a lie. Yeah, like if you want to feel the spirit, and you work for it. You're going to keep filling this spirit. The Lord loves effort. And we can't come to Jesus accidentally, but he will come to us. And he will come to us when we feel too weak, or we feel not strong enough. But as we continue to put forth those efforts, he's going to be there for us. 100%

Talmage: 51:46

So, amen. Well, thank you so much for coming on.

Tessa: 51:50

Thank you. This is awesome. Thanks. Let me be here. Yeah.

Talmage: 52:01

Hey, everybody, thank you so much for listening to this episode. Tessa is so much fun to talk to. Her story really inspires you to believe that the best is yet to come. I just wanted to give a shout out to one of the people that left her review, Carolyn Connor, she said what I love about released is how vulnerable and real it is a big theme of it seems to be how life doesn't always end up how we think it will. And that's okay. Listening to this is a great reminder for me to trust God despite the confusion of life, not going as planned. Talmage does a great job with really getting the most valuable parts out of people's stories and setting it up for both them and all of us to reflect and learn which I love. Definitely recommend giving released a listen. Carolyn, you are the best seriously, thank you so much. Again, if you guys have found this helpful, I would really appreciate a review and a rating. It really helps the podcast. Again, thank you guys so much for tuning in. And remember God is good and is planning on your success. And though you've been released from your mission, you've not been released from your ministry.