Roxanne Thayne: Jewels In Your Pocket, How To Craft Your Story

Roxanne is an expert on storytelling and marketing. Roxanne has written books on the topic and has done pieces of training for missions around the world. She shares the importance of recording your history and then crafting it into something people actually want to read or listen to. David McCullough once said, "History was never hurt by making it something people enjoy reading." Roxanne has done that and teaches other to do it with their own stories.

At the end of this episode, you should sit down to write your own story. And when you do that, make sure to send your 500-word story to Released to be shared with people who could benefit. When you send it in put at the top "Jule in my pocket," and you will be submitted to win the book Jule In Your Pocket. 

Watch this video for Roxanne's more in-depth training on how to write a story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daoASLEjAaA&authuser=1

Please rate and and subscribe and if you have any suggestions please reach out on IG at @talmagethayne

Guest: @roxannethayne

Transcript

Talmage: 0:00

Welcome back to release the podcast. In this episode we are interviewing Roxanne Thane about how to craft your story. Roxanne is most noted for her contagious enthusiasm for anything good. Her work as an educator, marketing director, publisher and disciple of Christ, promote beautiful faith filled storytelling, her recent books, collective brilliance, sparking ideas, build faith and see your ministry in a whole new light and jewels in your pocket. How to comfortably share your faith through the power of personal stories motivates readers to participate in the gathering of Israel. She loves sparkly things like jewelry chandeliers and conversation. She and her husband Tim live love and work together with their family in Lehi, Utah.

Unknown: 0:57

away

Talmage: 1:09

okay, Mom, thank you so much for being on the podcast. So as I talked about in the bio, and in the intro, I'm having my mom on not because she has a released story, because she hasn't served a mission yet yet. But because she is a professional in helping people craft their released stories. She is the reason I have mine crafted at all. And one of the biggest reasons for why released the podcast is a thing. And so I was able to interview my dad, the first episode of this season, and I'm excited to interview my mom like 1617 episodes in. And so and I think you guys are going to take a lot away from this episode in terms of how to craft your story, how to make it something people actually want to listen to. So they can feel inspired by your experience. And it could be, it could be on this podcast that you share it. It could be just to your family and friends that you share it. Or just to yourself the story that you tell yourself either way. In any case, it's going to help you so much to be able to write your story down and craft it. And so I'm really excited to have my mom on Roxanne thing. Yeah, thanks for being on.

Roxanne Thayne: 2:36

I'm delighted to be here. You know that?

Talmage: 2:38

Yeah. Well, could we just jump right into kind of, I'm just going to ask you what got you into storytelling in the first place? You bet.

Roxanne Thayne: 2:48

Well, I was one of those strange little children that didn't have any friends in grade school is kind of a sad situation. But I've since learned how to make friends. It was more my fault than the kids. But one of the things that I have a great memory of was the library in our elementary school at Thomas Elementary in Flagstaff, Arizona. And I can tell you to this day, if I was to walk in right where I hung out, it was the second aisle on your right, the bookshelf that was about knee height. And there was one length of shelf that was biographies. And somehow I found one of those it was in the big kids section. And I read every biography on there, even the very last one, which was Florence Nightingale and it was so thick, I scared of it. I didn't want to have to read it. But I read it and loved it. And there was just something in me at that age that I didn't just want the Tutsi character illustrated books, I really wanted to know people's stories because I felt like I got to live a lifetime within those pages. And I didn't have to go through everything was my cliff notes for that experience. I don't want to go through that, Lord, just tell me what they learned from it. And I will try to make the jump. So I've always loved that. And I always preferred to sit at the feet of my elders. When we would gather family activities, I wouldn't be out running around the yard. I'd be sitting quietly under the table at their feet, just trying not to be noticed because I wanted to hear what the grown ups were talking about. I wanted their stories. I went on to school, I thought I wanted to teach high school. I got my degree from BYU in history, secondary ed. Then I started having children and I homeschooled you kids instead of teaching in the high schools, but I kind of came away thinking why did I do history, I should have done something else. And I had this great experience with my husband one day where I was very much into emergency prep. And I said, Well, he was leaving on a plane trip. And I said, What happens if you die? And he says, Why do you always bring this up right before I leave? And I said because I need to know what I'm going to do if to take care of our family. And I don't know that I want to teach high school. And he said, You know what, you're good at its marketing. And I said, Ooh, yuck. He's like, do you even know what marketing is? I thought It was slimy in car salesman, like I said, No, I guess I don't. He says, Well, when you're enthusiastic about something, people follow you. So do you think you could help me by writing about our company and our mission? Do you believe in it? I said, heck, yes. I helped you come up with the idea. Yeah. And he says, Well, then, then if you can write, and you can, because you've written Christmas newsletters, and you've done flyers for Relief Society activities, maybe you can help market this. So I've been his marketing director for 14 years in our companies. And yeah, it's it's gone fast. I cannot believe it's been 14 years. And then about four years ago, I decided to write a book. And then two people started coming to me and my co founders, and we decided to create a publishing company. So now we help others leave their legacy of faith to their families. Yeah. So it's been wonderful. And now we get to use it with the missions.

Talmage: 5:53

Yeah. Wow, that is so cool. And you've been, like a guest speaker, like for mission wide conferences, and all that stuff, teaching these missionaries how to tell stories and how to teach members how to tell stories. And,

Roxanne Thayne: 6:10

and I love it. Talmage because everybody has a story, but they freak when they hear share the gospel or, you know, flood the earth. Gather Israel, they feel like, Oh, this is so heavy. No, it's not. It's a conversation where you just say, Hey, this is my experience living the gospel of Jesus Christ. Does it kind of resonate with you? I mean, I kind of have something similar. Let me tell you my story. It's that simple.

Talmage: 6:36

Yeah. And it's not that she it's not anything like that. It's just, this is my story. And no one can argue with that.

Roxanne Thayne: 6:44

No, they cannot reject your own experience. Yeah.

Talmage: 6:47

It's just like, the worst outcome from that is like, Oh, well, yeah, that's your experience. Yeah. That's, that's the worst kind of thing. And if it's, if they're jerks about it, they're just, there's something wrong with them. Yeah. So storytelling has been part of your career, from marketing, to starting a publishing company to writing your own book, books, you've written books, and help the dad write his books. And so and now, and you helped me start released. And one of the biggest lessons I learned from you and starting released can kind of be summed up in an experience I had, when I was, like, seven years old. We were in our old house in Lehi. And my room was messy, the sheets were off the bed, and you had just cleaned them. And I was playing video games or something, I wasn't doing what I was supposed to. And you're like, Hey, Tom, is you need to finish you're cleaning your room. And I was just overwhelmed, because I didn't know how to put those fitted sheets on beds. And I was there all frustrated, and I had like a full size bed. So I was like a little kid. I couldn't reach and add. So I was frustrated. And my mom made me get you made me get off the game. And so I'm feeling overwhelmed. And you come down, and you're being really calm, and you're wanting me to help you. And I'm like, No, I don't want your help. Like, leave me alone. You're making me do this thing. But I don't want your help. And you're like, okay, and you like walked away. And I just had Instant Regret. I just felt so bad. Not because I wasn't getting help. But because I rejected your help when all you were doing was trying to love me and help me. And in reality, I couldn't get the fitted sheets on I kept. Whenever I'd go on one side, the other side would flip up. And so you ended up having to help me in the end.

Unknown: 8:55

But I remember feeling so bad. And since that moment, I've had times where I'm really frustrated and overwhelmed with work or whatever it is or writing my own release story. I'm just like, I can't do it. I can't do and you're like, want me to help? And I'm like, no. It's so familiar. I'm like, I just I just want to throw a pity party right now. I just want to be selfish and wallow in misery and stuff instead of ask for help. actually get your help and like, understand that you're just trying. You just love me.

Roxanne Thayne: 9:35

And I might have experienced that could be beneficial. Yeah, a few tricks to the trade.

Talmage: 9:38

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And so yeah, that experience really kind of sums up my pride in keeping me keeping you from helping me. But how I eventually had that like moment of realization where I'm like, I do need her help. And I feel guilty. for rejecting your hope.

Roxanne Thayne: 10:04

Well, you're in very good company, my friend. Pride is like all of us. We all have it. And we've all done it to our Father in heaven, who said, I'm here and our Savior, reach out to me. Let me help you. This is a two man job. And we've said, nope, nope, I can do it myself. And then when we finally get over ourselves, then and wanting all the glory for ourselves. Then we finally asked for the help and he is ready and willing. He just wants to show his love. He's like, Yeah, yeah.

Talmage: 10:35

Let me put that fitted bedsheet on. I got you.

Roxanne Thayne: 10:39

Okay, so should we come clean about that story? And, yeah, let's do.

Talmage: 10:45

Yeah. So my mom asked if there was a story I could share. Because this whole episode is about stories. And I was thinking, I was thinking, I'm like, What's the lesson my mom taught me? And I thought about that one. Yeah. Like, okay, how can I tie it in?

Roxanne Thayne: 11:02

So the interesting thing about that Talmage Thayne, is that was a little exercise for you that I wanted you to have an experience with, because it was recent. And like five minutes before we started writing, and I wanted everybody in the listening audience to hear that because they can see wow, that's a really sweet story. But I bet you have rarely, if ever thought of that story. Except I asked you to prompt. Yeah. And then I said, How did you change over time? What is the gospel principle learned? And together, we were able to create that and hopefully the audience was entertained or at least engaged. And hopefully, as a listener, they were having thoughts go through their mind, like, I had something similar. Dang, I just did that to my dad today. Yeah, totally. And so that you don't

Talmage: 11:50

have to, like feel bad, that you can't think of a story right off the bat. No, because we were unpracticed at this kind of stuff, sometimes told, and so you given me the prompt, I had to sit and think about it for a solid minute or two before I come up with an idea. And then I had to stir on it and think about how, how it relates.

Roxanne Thayne: 12:11

And you know, that's what we're going to teach today is the pieces of the story. And the reason story is so important. And I just gotta give my little pitch here. The reason story is so important is because it is the way that our brains are wired, we do not remember bullet points, we do not remember scripture and verse, when you have a great talk in church that you hear you come back, and you tell everybody at lunch about that great talk. And you tell the story that they told, you don't say it was a three part talk with this verse And this quote from that prophet. Those are nice little supporting pieces, for sure, that add credibility, but it's a story that people can remember because it is creating a picture in their mind. So hopefully, as you were talking about getting off of the video game, and the sheet popping off one end, when you were stretching it on the other end, the other corner of the bed, people could picture it, they'd been there before they were having this picture in their mind of a seven year old kid throwing a tantrum. Yeah. And,

Talmage: 13:13

and, and if I taken a little bit more time, I probably could have crafted it a little bit better. To help them imagine that even

Roxanne Thayne: 13:21

better, even better, right? And, you know, this is something that we see all the time in the church, a lot of people go oh, yeah, I get it. Christ told parables because we could understand it. It was something we had experienced as well. Somebody in the family who had left and wasted their living, and how they were welcomed home with love by an unconditional loving parent. But they are used these kinds of stories all the time in general conference. And I'm just going to give you one little bit of a story and see if you can remember how it ended. So there was a general authority that told a story about surfed about being in Australia and walking down the beach and seeing a bunch of surfers that were there on vacation, and they were very upset and angry and pointing and talking. And he asked what was wrong? And they said, Well, we've traveled all the way here to surf here. And there's all these fences here. And we can't get out there in the water and these nets. And then an older gentleman walked up and said, here and he handed him the binoculars and said Take a look. And they looked out there and they saw dorsal fin dorsal fins. Yeah. So what they were upset about these boundaries, were actually preserving their lives. They just didn't have the vision to understand that. Now, that story, if you can remember that story was at least eight years ago.

Talmage: 14:39

And I remember it now. I do remember it.

Roxanne Thayne: 14:42

Yeah. And there was one told just about three years ago about Sister Corden who was taking l Tom Perry out to feed the chickens. She had a flashlight that she wasn't pointing at the ground and what happened and he stepped in a puddle or something. Yeah, he stepped in a ditch of water. Yeah. And he said, Bonnie, you You really need to point your light to help others know where to step, you know, not up in the air, you know where you're going. They don't know. beautiful story. They sense made a video of it. Why? Because she drew a picture in our minds. And we were all like, Oh, I get it. Yes. That's a great principle taught with a story. So whether one

Talmage: 15:19

is, and this isn't more more recent one, but everybody remembers it. It's the I forgot his name, who tells it, but he was young. His dad wasn't a member. He didn't go to church, but his mother was she's like, come to church, and he's like, I'm, I'm gonna stay home with dad. And then he stays home with dad. And then he's like, Hey, Dad, I'm gonna go play soccer.

Roxanne Thayne: 15:46

Oh, well, he, yeah. He didn't tell his dad that at first. Oh, yeah. He said he was gonna stay home and be with his dad. Yeah. And after watching his dad, he wasn't really helping. He just snuck out, had to sneak past the sneaker

Talmage: 15:59

has the church to go to a soccer game. And as he was sneaking past the church, a young men's leader saw him running from tree to tree trying to be sneaky. And then that the next week, the young men's leader came to his house is like, I want you to teach the lesson. And he didn't want to teach the lesson. Because that next Sunday was another soccer game. Yeah. And so he's praying to be sick. But he wasn't sick. So he woke up had to go to church. And he had to teach the lesson on keeping the Sabbath day holy. And, you know, it's such a good story. And he tells us way better he does, but,

Roxanne Thayne: 16:39

but that's it, we'll remember it, they people remember it. And we love that, because we understand him, he shared a little vulnerability, like I wasn't always a general authority, actually a kid trying to get out of church. And then every kid there's like, Oh, good, somebody else gets it that soccer is way more fun as a child. Yeah, in church. So the power in a story is that you can show vulnerability, and you can show growth. And you can show people that they too can do the same. Without saying and thus we see the moral of the story is the commandments, say,

Talmage: 17:14

let them figure it out. Figure out the meaning of the story. Yeah, you just tell the story.

Roxanne Thayne: 17:20

Just tell the story. Walk away. Let them sit there with it. Let the Spirit work on them. And they will come up with what they need. And, you know, one of the things I think is so amazing about missionaries is you have stories every day, probably five to 10 stories every day happening, because it's such a unique experience for you. Whether you're in a different country or with a different language or not, you're doing something you never did before in high school. Yeah. And if you did not write in your journal, shame on you, but many of you didn't, you were probably at least writing letters home, hopefully, hopefully. Yeah. And if not, that may be somebody who was writing to you and commenting on a phone call or a zoom call that you had with a family and they can mention people's names that can help prompt those stories to come back to you. Now, I know that the other day you and I were talking and you shared a really sad story. Something that you almost lost. Yeah. Because you didn't write it down. You want to share that? Yeah.

Talmage: 18:23

Yeah, actually, this this story, I found it because I started reading through my old emails. It was a book you compiled. And I was reading through it. And it talked about a baptism. And I'm like, I baptized someone that transfer what? And I started reading in it. And the title of the email was the baptism of John. And like baptism of John, who's John, I had totally forgotten about this guy. I had taught this guy I started teaching him. He was taught by the missionaries a couple of years before he had done all of his family history work, given it to members and the members got all of his, like temple ordinances done for his ancestors. And so he was kind of like a golden investigator, but I was pulled out of the area and sisters came in. And like, a few weeks later, they were gonna baptize him. And he asked me to baptize him. Wow. And I was so excited. I went, we baptized him. And it was an amazing experience. And I completely forgot about it. Completely.

Roxanne Thayne: 19:38

Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I mean, that is all you're working for as a missionary. Yeah.

Talmage: 19:43

You don't think you would forget about something like that? But you do. And I'm not. I'm not unique. I have a bad memory. But like, I know I'm not unique. There's a lot of people that forget amazing experiences like that. The only reason I found it again is because I had met mentioned it in an email that my mom put together in a book that I happened to read that night.

Roxanne Thayne: 20:08

And again, you're not alone. I'm not alone. The prophets of the Book of Mormon and the Bible had to write it down. Why did the they go back to the Scriptures? Because they would never remember those miracles. They would never remember those prophecies. And aren't we so grateful for the stories? Can I share one of my favorite stories of that experience I had? With this, I was interviewing a woman who was going to come to work for me as a marketing assistant. And we started talking about stories. She had a lot of experience in editing. And she says, you know, so and so. And she named somebody I said, No, she was, well, he's my great, great, great grandfather. I said, Okay, she was, you might know his story. It's a story of him, of some members in a Sunday school class, in the early days of the church out here in Utah. And they were talking about the mistakes that the leaders had made by letting the Willie and Martin handcart company come across the plains so late in the season. And as they were talking about it, a man stood up, and, and rebuked them and said that he had been a member of that, of that handcart company. And he said, not one of the members that had ever been in that company ever left the church because they got to know God in their extremities. And he told the story of being so weak from famine, and cold, that he would look up the hill as he was pulling his handcart and saying, I can only make it to that patch of sand, or that tuft of grass, and then I must stop and die. But he says, Every time as I got close to that patch of sand, or that tuft of grass, I would feel someone pushing me from behind, and I would look back to see who it was. And there was no one. And I knew then that it was the angels of God helping me. And he says, No one who served who walked the paths on Willie and Martin handcart companies ever left the church? Because it was a privilege to pay that price to know God. Okay, how many of you know that story? It's been told in general conference? Well, this was this woman's great, great, great grandfather. And she says, I have used that story. So many times when I have suffered from depression, postpartum depression, to push through and to know that I will have angels that my back pushing me along. And I said, I know that story. I love that story. She says, Do you want to know the rest of that story? My great, great, great grandfather never wrote it down. It was written down by a man who was in the Sunday school class, who heard it and recorded it. And millions of members of the church have found strength from it. So you might think that your experiences don't matter. You don't get to choose if those experiences matter or not. They will absolutely become scripture for people. They will pull them through difficulties, they will give them hope and joy in ways that you don't get to determine that's for the Lord. Your job is to repeat them or to record them.

Talmage: 23:07

Yeah, that is so

Roxanne Thayne: 23:10

powerful. It is. And I think that a lot of times, we think, Oh, our stories are gonna go out there and bless others lives. But I had an experience talking to one of my co founders that rooftop publishing, and she was telling me about a family member who had left the church as a teenager, and now he was a young adult. And he was reconverted by reading his journals from when he was a teenager. Wow, he reconverted himself. He didn't need anybody else. He just couldn't deny what he had experienced. But guess what he forgot he did experienced it. So if you are struggling with your faith, go back and read it. One of my dear friends, her husband has left the church. And I said, You know what he'll remember she was oh, I know, I know, he will come back, because I have read his missionary journals. And he knows it. He's just forgotten it. But he did know it. So it's a powerful tool for others, but you just don't even know how important it might be to your own faith and salvation.

Talmage: 24:15

Man, it is so true. That it's been a really cool thing for me to do is go back and read my journal. For that same reason. As a

Unknown: 24:27

in like, I feel the spirit. I'm like, I wrote that. What? That's cool. Or, or like a voice of warning, like, don't want to do that again.

Talmage: 24:40

Your past will shape your future kind of thing. Yeah. And so when you look at your past, and the stories that you told yourself back then, and everything, you'll see it shape your future. And that's why crafting your story now is so important for what's going to happen in the Future, as well as just the present, how you feel in the present is impacted so much. By the story you tell yourself.

Roxanne Thayne: 25:09

That's right. I think that, you know, we've talked about this before, or maybe you and dad talked about this. But the story you tell yourself about your mission is powerful about the members that you worked with about your companions, about the people that you taught about the culture, all of that, you can change your story, if you do not capture it for what it was now, you can start to have experiences now where you feel disappointed in life and you think, Wait, I was supposed to have a beautiful life after serving. And you need to be able to craft that story by picking out the parts that are going to be the most faith promoting, not studying the parts that were difficult, you can mention those, but you really want to move on to the part that is inspiring.

Unknown: 25:56

Getting into your expertise. Now now that we've talked about the importance of doing it. How do we do it? Yeah. And how do we do it in a way that?

Talmage: 26:08

Yeah, how do we do it in a way that is compelling and powerful? And so maybe you could share a little bit about some of the things that you've learned while writing your book, literally, on this topic? And in teaching missionaries and members how to craft their story? What are some of the things that they've done that have been the most successful?

Roxanne Thayne: 26:31

Okay? Yeah. The book I wrote is called jewels in your pocket, how to comfortably share your faith through the power of personal stories. So like you mentioned, in the beginning, I never served a mission. I got married, and I was going to go, but man, I was secretly relieved when I didn't go, because I was just worried about what if they reject me, blah, blah, blah. Now I am chomping at the bit to go on a mission because I realize what it takes is just me sharing my life experience like, hey, prayer worked for me, paying tithing has worked for me, this is the joy I found in keeping my body clean by obeying the Word of Wisdom. This is why I want to live a life worthy to live with my family forever. So I've got stories now built up. But what if somebody whipped out a story to share with you that had to do with the thing you were struggling with? Say it was a death of a loved one. And you could pull out a story about a death of a loved one that showed you that Heavenly Father has a plan that we can be together again, isn't that so much better than statistics, and research, and even great, beautiful quotes, because they don't need to hear a prophet quote, they need to hear it from you. That means you're actually listening and feeling what they're feeling. So the book jewels in your pocket, it's called jewels in your pocket, because my mom was a wonderful listener. And whenever I'd come home from school, and I'd be all aflutter about something good that had happened. She say, Roxanne, that is a jewel to keep in your apron pocket. And on days, when things aren't going so well, you can pull that out and look at it and remember, a happier time or that someone loved you once or whatever it was. Well, that's how our spiritual stories are, if we will mined for them from our life experience, cut them beautifully polished them up so that they are reflective of the Savior's love and light, then we can share those jewels with other people, and they get to enjoy them, but we keep them at the ready. I mean, your story that we've just shared about the bedsheets was not at the ready. It took about five minutes to pull it together. But now you have it, and I guarantee you're gonna use it again. Yeah, whether it's a talk or an administering assignment or over dinner with somebody.

Talmage: 28:45

Yeah, yeah. Because now I have that principle attached with the lesson I learned how it impacted me.

Roxanne Thayne: 28:53

And that was just something so simple. It wasn't that powerful to you, but you've made it powerful. So here's the things that that we have learned to do. So we started working with the missionaries during the pandemic, or I started to helping create videos that were actually going to invite the spirit not just silliness, or look at us, or We're normal people too, but they were spirits. They were spiritual stories. And, of course, there were so many missionaries that had amazing experiences that got them on a mission or new converts to the church. And we even did a series that was about the youth battalion. So we had all of these seminary students sharing their stories of how they had seen God's hand in their life. It was fantastic. And we did probably 60 of them. But the one thing that we learned in that experience, and it was with one of your brothers who was filming them, and I was directing them was that when people tell a conversion story, it's like 18 minutes long. Well, as we all know, on social media, no one's gonna watch an 18 minute story. It's got to be about two minutes. And so how do you get them to cut it down into something that's the most powerful, sometimes they would tell a story and would just And, uh, Peter off in the end it was just like, just, you know, ended with a whimper. Yeah. And it should have been powerful. So, we I started to work with a couple of professors at BYU, Bob Walz, who was in the communications department and also been a news anchor for many years. Dennis Packard, who was a philosophy professor, and then a full professor of film. And then Dennis Lazenby who was a professor at UVU, he started the film program at UVU. And Dennis, Dennis is Sanjay Packard, who's a composer and a programmer. And we started to work together with others and come up with a way that was a four step process in writing a great story of inspiration. And every mission had these and I bet you can think back to your mission page, Facebook page, and remember which one it was if you had Facebook pages at that time. It may, maybe it was a member story or convert story, but there was four parts to it. And, and I have a video that I'll give you the link to Yeah, yeah, we'll put the link up here. Yeah, if you want to go back and watch it, but the four parts are number one, you're talking about a life challenge, death, divorce, depression, cancer, bullying, financial loss, death, something like that, we can all come up with 15 that we've all experienced. So you have a life challenge. The next thing is, is that there was probably a moment of inspiration that you had. And that was to read the scriptures to serve somebody to pray to go to the temple, to keep your mouth shut. There was just this moment that stopped you and that was God's hand. All right. The third part of the story was what was the result of obeying that inspiration? Or acting on the inspiration? The fourth part is very lightly touched on and that is the gospel principle learned. So tell me, cuz I didn't study Preach My Gospel. But there's certain lessons that are gospel principles, and you teach them in any order, correct? Yeah, but what are some of the gospel principles?

Talmage: 32:07

Some of the gospel principles like in the lessons that Preach My Gospel, the restoration, that's the first lesson we usually teach about, and it is, the first thing we talked about is like, God is our loving Heavenly Father. So he gives us families.

Roxanne Thayne: 32:22

Okay, perfect. Stop right there. There's so much more. But I can think of 15 stores right now, that could illustrate that gospel principle. Yeah. So what if there was 20 of them? I don't know how many there are. But what if there was 20? And you came up with a story for each one of those? Isn't there one on chastity? Isn't there one on the tight on tithing? Yeah, word of wisdom. Could you come up with a story on each of those talents? Whether it was your own or your parents or converts? Totally? Absolutely. Okay. So how about we make that an assignment for ourselves? For the next 20 Sundays, we write a story that illustrates the gospel principle. That is cool. So someone says you don't drink? Why don't you drink? And then you tell them why. Like, yeah,

Talmage: 33:07

because I almost got punched by several drunk Irishman. And, and I'm like, I don't want to be like that. So,

Roxanne Thayne: 33:15

but it was also part of your religion, and you would listen to your story. Okay. Take that sheet story. And I want you to just break down very quickly, what were the four parts of the story? So starting with the life challenge,

Unknown: 33:27

live challenge, messy room, and sheets weren't on bed, and frustration and frustration. My mom was making me clean my room, and quit doing what I wanted to do and quit doing what I wanted to do, which was playing games. And so very overwhelmed. Very frustrated. Okay,

Roxanne Thayne: 33:42

what was the second point? The point is, the second point is the moment of inspiration. Let me just say a moment is usually about three seconds long. It is not like this long. Ah ha. It's like a thought, a nudge, a prompting. What was your prompting?

Talmage: 33:59

I felt so bad. I rejected your help.

Roxanne Thayne: 34:03

Okay, great. The third part was acting on that prompting, what did you do to act I asked you to come help me. Okay. And the fourth part, what was the gospel principle learned?

Talmage: 34:14

That pride will really keep us from getting the help, we need.

Unknown: 34:23

Wallowing. There's honestly a couple, I can boil down to normal, like, like to one depending on the situation, but like, one of them is like, pride keeping me from having the help I need. Number two is the selfishness of me. Just having that moment to reject somebody that loves me, like, stick it to him. And, like the pain I felt from that, like the guilt I'm like, dang it. They she didn't deserve that.

Talmage: 34:59

And then I There's

Roxanne Thayne: 35:00

probably several more probably several more. And when you're in a situation you can craft it or emphasize what needs to be emphasized to connect with that person and what they are experiencing or the story that they just shared. So one of the most important things, could I go have

Unknown: 35:16

any, I'm just gonna share one story that a guest shared on this podcast. Yeah, that illustrates every single stage perfectly is Bob could tell. Yeah, the story of him and his daughter in the car, I loved that. It was so perfectly done. Him and his daughter in the car, and she's throwing a tantrum. She's trying to get out of her car seat. She's old enough that she can, like, start doing that. And he's like, get back in the car seat. And she's like, No, it's like, do it now or else and she's like, Bring it on. Like with her eyes. She's not saying that because she's a little. And he pulls over over to the side of the road. And he gets out. And then he stops and thinks like, he pauses. And then he has a thought that comes to him that says, like, because he has a thought he's like, she's not your daughter. And then he's like, Okay, well, what do you want it want me to do? He's like, gods, like, give her a hug. He's like, I'm not feeling like a hug anything else? Like, if you're not gonna listen to me, don't ask. Yeah, fine. And so he goes around to the other side of the car and opens up the door. And he's like, this isn't gonna work. And his daughter's gearing up for a fight. He's like, Come Give Daddy a hug. And she just melts and runs to him and hugs him and cries. Slow, darling. And then he was able to like, he's like, are you okay now? And she's like, Yeah. And he buckles her up, and they drive home and they never had another problem. Interesting. And it hits every single point.

Roxanne Thayne: 36:43

Absolutely. And here's the thing. It sounds like kind of jerky when you think, step one, step two, step three so far. But if you want to think about it this way, it's that I was one way, a bunch of things happened. And now I'm completely different. And I think that if you think about you frustrated little kid didn't get to play the games rejected and hated your mom, to having this moment that why would you reject that help in that love, to asking for the help and love being able to finish it and realizing that is my pride speaking? You were prideful? Now you are humbled, Bob could tell was angry, then he was grateful. And, and all of our stories that really matter. Take that same approach. People want to see change in you. If you just say, hey, there was this funny thing that happened, blah, blah, blah. Well, that's not really a story. That's an anecdote. Yeah. Nobody really changes from it. It was funny for a moment, and they forget it. But if they can keep thinking back about that time, you changed how you grew, it inspires them and the Spirit tells them, you can do the same, you can repent, you can become better. You can love again, you can forgive.

Talmage: 37:59

Okay, so we actually wanted to do a giveaway. For you guys, that's jewels in your pocket, how to comfortably share your faith through the power of stories. And the way to get this book is by writing in your own story. And you have those four points, you were one way something bad's going on, you have a moment of realization. You make a change, you do something about that realization, and the gospel principle that came from that. And that's a 500 word story you submit to me, and just put it the top jewel in your pocket. And from the stories that are submitted, I'm gonna pick someone, I'm going to reach out to you and I'm gonna send you this book. Well, Mom, thank you so much for being on the podcast and making this podcast happen. Is there any last things you'd like to share with the released audience?

Roxanne Thayne: 38:55

You know, one of my great mentors passed away last night. And it's my dad's sister, Julie. And she was a great mentor to me in many ways. But recently, I went to visit her and she lives in St. George, and she was laid out on her sick bed, and she gave me her life history. And it was this wonderful because I've read other histories that she's written this wonderful book that I would read aloud to your dad as we traveled through Arizona, and he would laugh, we would cry, we would say that sounds just like her. And Oh, that reminds me of my own stories. And I went back to her and said, This is so amazing. Would it be okay, if I publish it for you, because of my company. I have a team that can do that. And she was so pleased and agreed. And so over the next couple of weeks, we went back and forth through text on photo captions and titles that we could choose. And in the end, I actually brought the book to show you. It's not even bound yet because it's going to be printed on Monday. and be bound and just seeing Oh, you haven't seen this yet. Okay, so this is her book. And she called it my little corner of the vineyard, a memoir. And it is beautiful. It has photos. It has a family tree in it. And it talks about proms and Christmases and summer time and recess and dating, and marriage and death and divorce and all of the good things and all of the hard things. And she talks about her experience with the gospel. The thing that was so powerful to me, Talmage is she called me just a couple of weeks ago and said, Do you have a copy of your dad's history? Because he passed 15 years ago? I said, Oh, no, we haven't written any of it yet. My dad was a historian. He has volumes of journals. But he got dementia. In his mid 50s. I'm in my mid 50s. I have a lot of life left. And I know he felt like he did too. And I said, No, you know what, we haven't started to write that. She says, Okay, what about your mom's history who passed three years ago? He said, No, again, haven't started it. And she said, Roxanne, we all think we're going to have more time. And it is just too risky to put it off. She finished her stories in January. I got them in February, she passed away last night. But I have 70 people who have pre ordered her book from our family, our cousins, and they all want it. Aren't we glad that she didn't risk it. Don't risk writing down these personal experiences with God's hand in your life from your mission. Since your mission, it is part of your ministry. Don't waste it.

Talmage: 41:51

I love it. There's a quote by David McCullough, he is my favorite, the best. He's an amazing, especially American history. Amazing historian. And

Unknown: 42:08

the way he tells it is so captivating, and you want to listen to it. And he says history was never hurt by making it something somebody wants to read.

Talmage: 42:22

And it's so true. Your story will never be hurt by making it something somebody wants to listen to or read. And so if that means

Unknown: 42:33

taking the time sitting down crafting it, leaving out meaningless details that don't serve the story, or not putting good enough details in putting the work to crafting your story into something somebody actually wants to listen to. And read. And that is when you can have the most impact 7070 books ordered already, which is just amazing.

Roxanne Thayne: 43:00

And you know, if I might just say this, it might have only gone out to her three children and a couple of the cousins that were close. At the end. Yeah, five people. We've almost 20 times to that. Because we really made it into something beautiful. And we said do you want to hear it? And everybody did? So don't discount? How much of an influence you're gonna have by sharing your stories. So thank you. Yeah.

Talmage: 43:27

Well, Mom, thank you so much again, for coming on. Is there? Is there a place people can go to find you find what you're doing with a publishing company?

Roxanne Thayne: 43:38

Sure. Yeah. You know, we're gonna have that link in there for how to write a story of inspiration. So you can go watch that it's just a little 14 minute YouTube video you can watch. But they can also go to Roxanne thayne.com. That's my website. But rooftop publishing.org is our publishing company. And we do faith promoting works of nonfiction personal development and family history. So yeah, go take a look around. And and I also have to say it's not just Latter Day Saint works. We have works up there by those who are of other faiths. It's really exciting to share our love of Jesus Christ with peoples of other faiths.

Talmage: 44:13

Awesome. Thank you so much.

Roxanne Thayne: 44:15

You're welcome. Thanks, love

Talmage: 44:27

thank you so much for listening to this episode of released the podcast. My mom is amazing. She's an expert, and she is so much fun to talk to. Honestly, one of my best friends, and hopefully has inspired you to start writing your own story. And again, if you write your release to story and submit it to me with jewels in your pocket at the top, then you will be submitted to win the book jewels in your pocket. I'm really excited to get this out to you guys. And And to remember God is good and is planning on your success and though you've been released from your mission you've not been released from your ministry