Nothing will give you more energy or joy than knowing your specific purpose for why you are here. In this episode Talmage talks with a life coach, Mitch Harris. Together, we discuss the transformative power of understanding our past, the insights garnered from loved ones' perspectives, and Mitch's journey from spiritual seeker to guiding light for others in pursuit of their life's mission.
We question wrong beliefs about worthiness and explore the idea that our true selves, eternally divine and valuable, are the key to unlocking a life rich with purpose and connection. Join us as we ponder Christ's teachings on trust, the nature of the true self versus the ego, and how embracing our intrinsic worth can catalyze profound change, both personally and spiritually. And as we close, I invite you to reflect on your own path and consider how embracing your true nature might guide you toward a more purposeful and joy-filled existence.
Remember, God is good and is planning on your success. And though you've been released from your mission, you haven't been released from your ministry.
Nothing will give you more energy or joy than knowing your specific purpose for why you are here. In this episode Talmage talks with a life coach, Mitch Harris. Together, we discuss the transformative power of understanding our past, the insights garnered from loved ones' perspectives, and Mitch's journey from spiritual seeker to guiding light for others in pursuit of their life's mission.
We question wrong beliefs about worthiness and explore the idea that our true selves, eternally divine and valuable, are the key to unlocking a life rich with purpose and connection. Join us as we ponder Christ's teachings on trust, the nature of the true self versus the ego, and how embracing our intrinsic worth can catalyze profound change, both personally and spiritually. And as we close, I invite you to reflect on your own path and consider how embracing your true nature might guide you toward a more purposeful and joy-filled existence.
Remember, God is good and is planning on your success. And though you've been released from your mission, you haven't been released from your ministry.
Hey, welcome back to Release the Podcast episode two of season three. Happy to have you. In this episode we interviewed Mitch Harris. Mitch is a life coach that specifically focuses on purpose, your life purpose, something that is special and specific to you, Mitch, and I recorded this back six, seven months ago. It was a while ago, but it was a good one, so I'm excited to get it out to you guys. Give it a listen. Remember we're not. We're not going right. Awesome, Mitch. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, for sure, I'm really excited to be here.
Talmage Thayne:Would you mind telling everybody a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your coaching program and what got you here in the first place?
Mitch Harris:Yeah, so I am a life coach, specifically focus on life purpose. So a life purpose coach is what I call myself and I basically help people dig into their lives and really kind of get a bird's eye view of their life and the tapestry of their life from birth until the present day, so they can get a scope of who they are. So I have this program called the life purpose program and it's a four week program and I meet with my clients four times and I also give them a curriculum or a online form that they fill out during the process. So each day they have something to do. So there's questions and exercises for them to do that help dig in to who they are and just kind of reveal things like what do they enjoy doing, like what are their passions, what drives them, what lights them up, like what gets them excited.
Mitch Harris:So digging into that, digging into their past, digging into their struggles, all of those kind of things I ask questions about and they give me answers on, and then we go through it together because I think that I have a gift to see underneath the words, like I can see what lessons or what gifts they have or what life is trying to teach them.
Mitch Harris:So they're there to kind of be a sounding board and also to kind of look into their words a little bit deeper, so that they can see a little bit deeper into themselves.
Mitch Harris:And that's a big part of this whole program is I want people to see themselves from a different perspective, because we get so in our heads about who we are and we have all these stories and beliefs and thoughts about who we are and a lot of them are not true, a lot of them are so far off actually, and so we get this false perception of who we are and we start to act like this false person where this life purpose program allows people to dig into themselves and then see themselves from a new perspective.
Mitch Harris:And so part of it is they actually interview my clients, actually interview friends and family. They do five interviews and I have all the questions laid out for them, but they interview family members or friends and or friends, and the reason why that's important is because people see you differently than you see yourself and they have an ability to look at you in a totally different way, and so by interviewing them and getting information about how they see you and I promise it's good and positive they have ever had a client come up with a bad interview.
Talmage Thayne:No no, I haven't, Okay, good.
Mitch Harris:But I've had mediocre interviews because, sometimes the people they're interviewing just don't open up that much. They're a little more closed off and I don't think it'd be too surprised by this, but a lot of times it's the dads. So if they interview their dad.
Mitch Harris:They're just very like to the point when not even to the point, just kind of dry and not really a lot of detail. So sometimes the interviews don't reveal as much if the person they're interviewing isn't really open and vulnerable, and that makes sense, like taking the time to really answer the questions to the best of their ability than the interviews. But you have five, so even if one is not great, you have the other four, which is to rely on. That's awesome.
Talmage Thayne:Well, you weren't always doing this, and so I'd love to hear a little bit about your story, because you served a mission and I'd love to hear your story coming back and eventually, what led you to wanting to become a life coach in starting this program.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, so where to begin with my story? I think that I have always been intrigued with my spiritual nature or my spiritual potential. I've always felt deep in my bones that I was destined to do something special, and a piece of that was my patriarchal blessing. Like receiving my patriarchal blessing revealed a lot of interesting things that I questioned in a good way, like what things that it would point out about me, or things that I was destined to do, like what does that mean? What does it mean to have this gift or to be this type of a person or do this specific thing in my life? What does that mean? And so I always felt drawn to that. And also one of those themes is life purpose. I always felt, like, what is my purpose? What am I doing here? I want to do something special. I want to add value in some way, and in the LDS culture, religion, whatever you want to call it there I think life purpose is talked about to some extent Like it's not a foreign subject yeah, would you agree with that?
Mitch Harris:Yeah, yeah, I feel like it's talked about, but to me, not to the extent that it should be. Yeah. Because a lot of us, like we as human beings, constantly create things that have purpose. This microphone has purpose. This chair has a purpose, you know, it's a comfortable place for us to sit and relax.
Mitch Harris:It serves a purpose. The light serves a purpose, so we can see and we're creating things all the time that have purpose. But if I was to ask a hundred people what their life purpose was, I might get a couple people to tell me what their life purpose is, totally and so yeah, and life purpose as in like, not just a vague answer that most LDS people could spout off, which is to get a body.
Talmage Thayne:Come to earth and get experience.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, exactly.
Talmage Thayne:Something a little more detailed than that.
Mitch Harris:Right, and I like that you brought that up because that is, I think that's a large part of the extent that people will go to, or that's as far as they will go. I guess what I wanted to say is they just think oh, life purpose, I'm here to gain a body, gain experience, prove myself in some way to God and have a family or you know things like that. Which there is purpose in that, and that's great, and I wouldn't. I don't want to diminish any of those roles that we play.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, because they are important, like a good start.
Mitch Harris:It's a good start, yeah, but actually your life. I'm talking about something that you agreed to do before you came to earth, you and God, and you wanted to do this Because it wasn't just some agreement that you made out of obligation. This is an agreement you made out of excitement. You wanted to do this thing for humanity, to give back to humanity, and so you covenanted, promised whatever, to come and do this thing and fulfill this promise, because by doing that thing, that purpose, you will elevate or raise the awareness and the vibration and of those around you, and which is one of the problems, I feel like more and more people are seeking life purpose. But one of the problems in our society right now is so many people are lost and don't have purpose, and so that's just every person that's lost and doesn't have purpose, that's just one person that's not contributing to leveling up society and leveling up their community and leveling up their friends and family Totally.
Talmage Thayne:There's a. Do you know Jordan Peterson? Yeah.
Talmage Thayne:So he talks about how everybody is a center of the universe not the center of the universe, but a center Because whatever you do will either positively or negatively infect not infect but affect the people around you, and your loved ones feel it most, but even farther out from that, everybody will still feel it, and so it is very interesting to think of yourself as a center of the universe. Everything you do, you do matters, and therefore having and being aware of that purpose that you have in your life is crucial in order to impact that web of people in the most positive way you can.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, totally.
Talmage Thayne:So yeah, I could you tell everybody a little bit about maybe the story of how you found your own life purpose.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, yeah. So just going back to what I was saying earlier about like and I totally jumped off of that um, my life purpose was always something that was on my mind, or at least to some degree. I don't I don't think I fully grasped it or what that was, uh, or that I had a specific one until later. But basically, after returning home from my mission where you feel, where I had a great mission and I loved it, it was super hard but also really fulfilling I had some awesome experiences coming off of that high and then just getting into life, going to school, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and I feel like I just drifted into this like lol, or this, like distant separation from God, and I just felt like I wasn't contributing anything special and didn't really know what I was doing, and I was full of anxiety and worry and fear. I lived in that. I lived in anxiety daily and, um, as a perfectionist, never feeling like I was good enough or what I was producing was good enough.
Mitch Harris:Finally, looking back, my own mind was creating, uh, that separation from God. It wasn't that God was was distancing himself from me, because that doesn't happen. I know that now God never does, but I was um, because of focusing on my perceived flaws and how it wasn't good enough, that created that separation. So for 10, 10 plus years I felt very distant from God and I still, like you know, I still had spiritual moments and studying scripture and having highs and lows there. It wasn't like I was in this complete dark abyss or anything, but I just uh, from contrasting from the spiritual high on my mission to where I was at during those years, I would just and I appreciate that discrepancy, I appreciate what I experienced on my mission and then not experiencing it after. It created that yin yang, that dark light, in a way that helped me be like 10 years later to be like.
Mitch Harris:I am done with the lackluster spiritual life and I I want something more. I want to have a, I want to have more of a relationship with God, and so I started uh, I decided I was going to wake up at five o'clock every morning and I was going to draw, which is something that I loved doing but had stopped doing, and then I was going to study my scriptures for an hour. So I had this two hour uh, two hour routine of drawing, scripture study and prayer and that turned into other, developed into other things as well. Like, I started meditating, which helped me deal with my anxiety and ultimately, I attribute a lot of the prayer and meditation to opening up my awareness, to like this idea that I can be something, I can be something special and I can do something special and I want to help people. The meditation helped me get out of my head and my anxiety and my worry and my fear. It helped create a wedge or a distance between that fear and anxiety and thinking clearly and feeling God and being present with God.
Mitch Harris:And so I started to get get to know myself more. I started to understand myself more, I started to want to know myself more, I started to want to love myself. And when you start to like, when you really start to dig into who you are and you're willing to go the distance with who you are, uh, you will find amazing things. And I started to just appreciate who I am and that I have a story and that I have value and that I have something to offer. And, uh, so I started searching over over about five years of doing that, I started to think about like, what do I want to do, what, who do I want to be and how? What do I want to offer this world?
Mitch Harris:And that's what led me to coaching. And coaching is an interesting thing because I never really considered it and I guess I fully didn't know what it was like to be a life coach was. But once I found life coaching and it was like I'm going to get certified in this and I told friends and family they're, they were like, oh yeah. Yeah, that's totally you yeah it was to me.
Mitch Harris:I was like thinking well, surprise, I want to do this really weird thing that I'd never even talked about or considered before. But to my friends and family they were like made total sense. They're like oh, and which is a good example of how people see what you don't see. Yeah.
Mitch Harris:And so that was an example of like. They saw something in me. They already saw my ability to, to you know, help people work through issues and problems, none in a non judgmental, receptive way, that I could ask questions and be inquisitive and help them discover things about themselves. They already saw that in me, and so it was totally not a surprise to those people. So yeah, that's kind of the journey of going from this like anxiety ridden, self absorbed, and I don't mean in like a negative, selfish way though though I have my imperfections as well.
Mitch Harris:But I'm just saying I just was so in my thoughts that I wasn't able to see who I was or who I could be. Yeah kind of getting out of that allowed me to open up to these other possibilities.
Talmage Thayne:I catch myself doing that all the time and being self absorbed. And, like you said, it's not a way of thinking a lot of great things about yourself, like, oh I'm so amazing, but just self absorbed. Just I'm not thinking about anybody else, it's just my problems, my own thoughts, my head in my head and, yeah, it's like the worst feeling. And so when you describe yourself that way, I'm like, yeah, I get that.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, it's a universal problem. Yeah. And the just the day and age that we live in. It's, I just think it's agitated to a greater extent, like with social media and just the go, go go lifestyle that we have it just makes it worse. But everybody has that problem unless they've done a ton of work on themselves. Yeah, so yeah, it's just a common struggle. So everybody that I work with, I know that they are blind to some degree about who they are according to how their thoughts are operating.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, yeah, it's so true and it just affects at least for me, I've just seen it affect relationships Not, I'm not involved with them, I'm not very attentive to what they're saying and I'm very insecure about whatever else. I'm thinking about myself, and so it's just. It's so funny how it literally affects you in so many negative ways, right? But yeah, that is. That is really cool, how you're able to find that purpose about, like with coaching, and to you is a shock to find that strength you know, I have this natural talent and this ability and to everybody else is just like duh.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah. And so it just kind of goes to show. It's like oh, why don't we ask those kind of people what they think about us, and maybe we'll find those talents and natural abilities a lot faster than we would have?
Mitch Harris:Yeah, totally yeah, and we, we think that. Yeah, just going back to this idea of we. Have you ever heard the quote? Let's see if I can get this right, but I'm not. I'm not who you think I am and I'm not who you think I am, but I am who you think.
Talmage Thayne:I got it. It's isn't it. I'm not who I think I am. I'm not who you think I am, yeah. I am who, I think you think I am yes exactly. I love that quote. It's so good.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, so we're in large part walking around thinking about how everybody else is perceiving us. Yeah. But we're doing it in our own mind. So I'm worried about what you think about me and I'm making assumptions about what you think about me and through that I'm creating who I am.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, that makes sense, so which creates this false perception of self. So the interviews when my clients do interviews with their friends and family, I'd say 100% of the time I can't think of anybody maybe there was one or two that weren't nervous about doing the interviews, and it's because they think that the way that other people perceive them is the way that they have been thinking that other people perceive them, yeah, which is in a negative way or some negative way. So they're always nervous about it because they're afraid of finding out the truth.
Mitch Harris:They're afraid of finding out that everything they've already been thinking about themselves is true.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, so you've never had a narcissistic client that thinks everybody thinks he's great.
Mitch Harris:No, I haven't.
Talmage Thayne:Okay, I haven't attracted those yeah probably wouldn't be seeking out a life coach.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, they probably wouldn't, or at least life. They probably would think they're already living their life purpose.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, probably.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, that's why I haven't yeah, I'd say all, all of them maybe a couple haven't, but yeah, they're just afraid of seeing or being told that their greatest fears about who they are are true. And I can also say, 100% of the time it's not who they think that they think people that they. It's not who they think others think that they are. So they're always overjoyed with the response that they got from people and often moved to tears because they're just blown away at the things that people think about them, because they've just been so focused on their inadequacies, where they fall short and what they don't have in comparison to everybody else.
Mitch Harris:And we're constantly looking, and this is part of our culture too, and our society is that we're constantly comparing ourselves to others. So so that creates this, this site of only being able to see what you don't have in comparison to somebody else. And that's your standard. Whoever you emulate or whoever you want to emulate, whoever you follow on Instagram or whatever, they're kind of the standard, and so you look, you judge yourself according to them and you see the difference and you focus on the negative difference between you and them.
Mitch Harris:And then the travesty is, you lose sight of all the beauty that is you and the gifts that you offer and all the wonderful, the wonderful life story that you have, and, instead of like focusing on those things and building those things, you're just lost in comparison Totally.
Talmage Thayne:I had something that happened to me last week that kind of brought that point to reality.
Talmage Thayne:I have a friend who he's never been good at expressing his emotions or or being vulnerable even with his like really good friends and I got a random voice note from him and he's just like hey, dude, I just got out of a breathwork session. I'm just feeling all these weird emotions. He's just like I just want you to know how much your friendship means to me, and you are, you're just such a good guy, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's saying all these not blah, blah, blah, blah, it was really good stuff.
Mitch Harris:You know what I mean.
Talmage Thayne:But he's just saying all these really kind good things that like may obviously made me feel good. But then he said there's been a lot of points in my life when I've been jealous of you. And this is a guy who he got married pretty fast after his mission. He has two beautiful kids. He's done very well in business, has like multiple properties. He's done great things.
Talmage Thayne:And and it just made me think. I was like that's weird, because I've been jealous of you for so long. Like what do you? What? What? What is there about me that makes you jealous of me? And it just made me think about it. And we do compare the worst parts about ourselves to the best part of parts about other people, even our best friends, and and we can see somebody that we we'd think that they're made of steel and seven foot tall, but in reality they see you the exact same way.
Mitch Harris:Totally yeah, and that that's what you just said is massive. Like realizing that very thing is that we're all just looking around and looking at each other as the standard, and everybody else is seeing other people's beauty and other people's accomplishments and what other people offer, and everybody is doing that while simultaneously thinking negatively about themselves because they don't have that, and it's just, it's sad. It really is sad, and I was in that place too. I was in that place of just I mean, loathing the self and not seeing myself as valuable and not connecting with people because I was afraid that they know the true me and not being vulnerable because I didn't want them to know what a flawed person I was. Yeah.
Mitch Harris:And not thinking that I had anything to offer.
Talmage Thayne:Because maybe they wouldn't love you. Yeah, because they would love a person Exactly yeah.
Mitch Harris:Rather than looking at everything you don't have, everything you you think you lack, start changing your mindset to look at what you have, and if you can't see it, I can help you with that. But just this idea of God created you. You are a unique individual, a unique intelligence embodied in spirit and flesh, and I love the story of Enoch. We read the story about Enoch and how he, how God, called upon him and Enoch was like I basically like. Why are you calling upon me? I'm just a kid. Yeah, I don't have. Anybody hates me, yeah, everybody hates it.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, which is awesome, actually, thinking about how we perceive and think that others, what they think about us and how that kind of runs through our minds is. Enoch was stuck, probably in his beliefs about what other people think about him and he was so focused on that, rather than God and who God created him to be, that it blinded him. And God showed up and said hey, you're way more capable than you know and there's so much more for you to do and to. But we have a bird's eye view of that whole story, right.
Mitch Harris:So, we know where he was in his self doubt and self pity and he moved out of that and we know that he created a Zion civilization that was taken up. So it really that concept is really kind of at the core of my life. Purpose program is I want people to see the beauty of their creation, that God created them for a purpose and they actually co created. This is a belief of mine. I guess co created this existence with God.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, it wasn't like an assignment. Like God said, I'm sending you here, you're going to be born here to these parents, and you know all these things are going to happen.
Mitch Harris:I think that it was a co creation between you and God. You decided together. This is what I want to accomplish. These are the gifts that I've cultivated in my pre Earth life. Here's how I want to live that out and here's how I want to make an impact.
Mitch Harris:And it wasn't just random. You are not random. Nobody's random, it's. It's this beautiful tapestry of life and you are a beautiful tapestry created by by your higher self, your true self and God. And you have gifts that are hidden from your gifts, talents, whatever you want to call them hidden from your awareness. You might be aware of some of them, but I help you discover more of them in the program. So you have gifts that are innate within you and by tapping into those you will help others to to a great degree. And so, seeing that light inside of you, seeing that you offer an incredible amount of value and really the value that you offer is whether or not you're able to see outside of your own beliefs and thought processes, if you can get out of that and see your true nature, your value and your importance in this whole plan, that is what I want to help people to see and ultimately, that's also what I believe Zion will be built by is by people living their purpose and coming into this. It's going to be a collaborative society of like-minded and like-hearted, pure-hearted people and part of what causes them to step into that pure-heartedness and like-mindedness is this idea that they offer something to this community and they have a work to do to usher in Zion. Everybody has a work to do. Whether or not they live it is another story, but everybody is included in that and everyone has a purpose.
Mitch Harris:And just to speak to a little bit about my purpose, so when I started really thinking about life purpose so this was before well, I had already taken my first coaching certification. So I was already, I think, just finished my first coaching certification and I was talking to people and just feeling like I wanted to help people discover more meaning in their lives, like some of my clients, and also I wanted to know more about, to have more direction in my coaching, like am I just a coach or is there something specific that I'm supposed to be doing? And I just felt like this fascination and this jolt and, partly after reading through my patriarchal blessing, again being like I want to know my purpose, I want to know why I'm here and I want to help other people figure that out too. It's so important.
Mitch Harris:And so I was in Barnes Noble one day and I'd bought some books. And I walked out to my car and I had this distinct impression to pull my phone out and go to my Audible app and look up life purpose. So I pulled out my phone, opened up the app typed in life purpose and this book came up called Discover your Dharma.
Talmage Thayne:Discover your Dharma.
Mitch Harris:Dharma is a Sanskrit word from India that means soul's purpose.
Mitch Harris:So, it was this book about discover your soul's purpose. And so I went back into Barnes Noble and they had it and stock bought it and started reading it and read through it really quickly because I was just devouring it. And then I found out that this, the author of that book, sahara Rose, had started her own certification, life coaching, or, yeah, life coaching certification specifically on life purpose. So I signed up for that and took that and that gave me a structure and I've added to here and there to create my own, but a lot of it has to do with the structure she gave me and it was in that program that well, she also. Once you were in the program, she had this curriculum that would help you figure out your own life purpose.
Mitch Harris:You know, you don't want to be a life coach about life purpose and not know your own. So I went through that process and discovered a lot about me and my nature and there's more that we can get into later but I discovered I created my life purpose mission statement, which is the last thing I do with my clients. In the process is, we get to the last day and we bring everything together, all the aspects of you and all the beauty of you, into this thing called the life purpose blueprint, and part of that the top, is your life purpose mission statement.
Talmage Thayne:That is sick, so it's yours.
Mitch Harris:So mine is to my life. Purpose is to connect people to the divine Dang that's good.
Talmage Thayne:That is good.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, so, um, and I reworded it and played with it several times, probably rewrote it like 10 or 15 times. So I because I was really wordy with it at first- yeah.
Mitch Harris:And then it kind of like whittled down and and some people's are longer, some people's are shorter, there doesn't matter but whittled it down and I just felt like that and that encapsulates. For me, that encapsulates actually two things that means connecting, helping people connect to their inner divine and the divine God, because I believe that you cannot connect to your, your divine self, and not connect to God, and I believe that you can't connect to God divine and not connect to your divine Cause they're one and the same. That's the oneness that Christ spoke about in John. When you truly tap into that divinity, that God like divinity, you are simultaneously tapping into yours.
Mitch Harris:And if you tap into yours, you're simultaneously tapping into God's, so um that is so cool.
Talmage Thayne:So, yeah, it's like kind of going back to the whole bird's eye view thing of what you kind of, what you're talking about, of like your life and if you're in collaboration with God, looking at your life, what you want to make of it, what you want to accomplish, and and you look at that and then you create, or down here, you kind of rediscover what that? Is.
Talmage Thayne:And then you make that mission statement. It'd be kind of cool to go through some notable figures in history and say what was their mission statement and and figure that out and then just be like, okay, well, it's time for you to kind of rediscover your, your plan, your collaboration you made with God and make that mission statement.
Talmage Thayne:Because, yeah, once you I'm it's all theory to me, cause I'm, I'm just learning about this but once you have that mission statement, once you've kind of like rediscovered it, it just gives your life so much more direction, it influences everything you do Like everything you intake, everything you output, and so it's so cool and so I'd love to do that sometimes, just like look at some of my favorite people in history, like Winston Churchill or Abraham Lincoln, and come up with mission statement for them too.
Mitch Harris:That'd be great Well to even think about. I know this is like top tier here, but think about Jesus. Yeah. I mean his what? What would you say, his missions or his life purpose? Mission statement was oh man there's.
Talmage Thayne:There's a lot of things you could say.
Mitch Harris:There's probably a lot of different ways to say it, yeah.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, I would say, probably to redeem mankind.
Mitch Harris:Oh, that's exactly what was what I would say yeah, to redeem mankind, yeah, and so he, he not only did that in his atonement but he lived that in his life, right. So the atonement was kind of like the pinnacle of that. And he's still doing it, by the way, his purpose is still. It's eternal so, but he as a healer, as a teacher, a rabbi, as a friend to his disciples, as a son to his mother and father, he lived that redeeming. He was always redeeming souls, right, he was so that was so much a part of him that it was his daily life. And that's what I think we all can aspire to in learning and living our life purpose. Once you figure it out, then you just live it, because your life purpose is the truest expression of your truest self. It's not life purpose we have to be careful with, because we live in a very get it done, do it society where you just constantly working and trying to become something. Life purpose isn't that. Yeah.
Mitch Harris:You just are that. It is you, so it's. It's a true. It's not something you attain. You can get better at it, don't get me wrong. You can improve skill. You can improve on your talents. You can. Your message can be more clear, it can be more decisive, but it's all the whole time as that's unfolding, it's just an expression of the truest you. Yeah.
Mitch Harris:And so it should be fluid, it should be enjoyable. You shouldn't be doing something that you don't enjoy. If you're not enjoying it, you're not on the right path or you're not living your life purpose. Your life purpose is going to be the most exciting, fulfilling thing that you've ever done. Yeah. So, yeah, it's an embodiment. It's who you are at your core.
Talmage Thayne:That is cool. It's just realizing that rather than feeling like you have to become it over a long period of time. Right, that is really cool.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, it's just like this. There's a quote that says perfection is not in the attainment or attaining all of these things. It's actually in the letting go of everything. Hmm, so I'm trying to wrap my hand around that. Yeah, it's kind of a deep one.
Talmage Thayne:Letting go of all these things? Yeah, so Letting go of the same things that you're trying to obtain, kind of thing.
Mitch Harris:It's letting so. In the physical world, we're constantly trying to add things to ourselves, so like whether it's possession, like money, cars, a nice house, a family we're trying to add value. By doing all these things, by accomplishing all these things or buying all these things, we're trying to add value to ourselves. You can't do that, you can't add a false perception, you can't add value to yourself Value is intrinsic. Yeah.
Mitch Harris:And same with love. You're ever loved by God. You cannot earn God's love. You cannot earn value and cannot earn worth. It's intrinsic. And so what that quote means is and I didn't quote it exactly how it said, but it's in the realization that you can't add anything to yourself. So when you let all of that go like this idea that I have to add value, worth and love you let all of that go and you just are who you are. That's what God wants. That's what you want actually you. What you really want is your truest self, because your truest self is the coolest, most amazing person.
Talmage Thayne:Honestly, sometimes I feel that way when I read my patriarchal blessing. I'm like I want to be that guy. He's so cool. Exactly, I don't feel like I'm there, I don't feel like I am that guy, but why? I don't know, I don't know.
Mitch Harris:Because you've been raised in a society that teaches you that your worth is obtained by getting, by adding to. You've been conditioned and we've all been conditioned into that thought process and we actually. It actually affects our relationship with God, which is the biggest travesty of all, because we are constantly thinking about what we've got to do better in order for God to love us and accept us and give us his blessings. But God just wants us to be who he created us, to be Just our true, authentic self and to let go.
Mitch Harris:I think of Luke, chapter 12, matthew 6, where Christ is talking to his disciples and preparing them to go out and to preach the Word, and he's telling them hey, do not worry about your life, about what you're going to wear or what you're going to eat.
Mitch Harris:And he goes on to say the birds aren't constantly collecting food and putting it in a storeroom for, basically, for a rainy day, they're just going, they're waking up and flying out finding food, and it's just there, everything they're taking care of.
Mitch Harris:And he talks about how the grass is something that God also takes care of, and Christ points out that it's so insignificant that we gather it up and we burn it, but God still takes care of that. So then Christ says well, he's basically making this parallel that well, if God is going to take care of the grass to that great extent where it's fed and taken care of and has everything it needs and it's so insignificant, why then if I'm sending you out on your mission to live your purpose, why wouldn't I take care of you, why wouldn't I provide for your needs? And he's basically saying don't search after obtaining things, don't think that you need to worry about eating and drinking and sleeping or what you're going to wear. But and he says, the pagan runs after those things, or the Gentile, the world runs after those things.
Mitch Harris:But you, he's plucked us out of the world and if you are willing to be that person, that person who he created you to be, he's going to take care of you because he needs you to fulfill that. And so, just letting go of all the worry and I know it's easier said than done because of the conditioning that we've all been through, and I'm not saying it's easy and you just should wake up tomorrow and not worry about anything, but that's the goal.
Mitch Harris:Is to get to that place where you're just living in synchronicity with God and in your life purpose, and he's taking care of you and you're taking care of what you promised you would take care of.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, I have a quick question. Maybe I'm thinking about it in the wrong way, maybe I need to like reframe how I think about it, but aren't we supposed to? I guess I'm kind of answering the question in my head as I'm thinking about it. Aren't we supposed to change, aren't we supposed to refine ourselves?
Talmage Thayne:and not just because, in my mind, when you say, like you just need to be yourself kind of thing in my immature mind it's like, oh, I can do whatever I want really, or whatever weakness tempts me in the moment, Because that's what I feel like I need right now. How would you respond to that? Because obviously I don't think I'm framing it in the right way in my mind. But how would you respond to somebody that's asking?
Mitch Harris:So you're saying that you get confronted with a temptation and, under this idea that you can just be yourself, you should just give into the temptation, because that's what you felt that you needed at the time. That's kind of what you're saying.
Mitch Harris:I understand what you're saying and I think that that's valid under the operation of the ego, or the false self, or the natural man. So we're blinded by our thoughts and our belief systems, and so we can't rely solely upon how we feel in certain moments. Let me back up. So you said something. I'm trying to remember what you said before that that was before you got into the example. It was about change. So, yes, we need to change and transform, but the part that's changing is not our true self. Our true self is ever present.
Mitch Harris:It's always there. It's untainted.
Talmage Thayne:So the part that's changing is the ego part of it, yes, it's the ego, the false self, the natural man. How can you tell the difference, though sometimes it's hard.
Mitch Harris:But as you take time to spiritually connect or meditate, to separate your thoughts a little bit, to view your thoughts from a distance, you can start to see it, you can start to point out what thoughts are false and what is coming from your true self, and in large part it goes back to the scripture that talks about that. Anything that is good is of Christ, that encourages you to do good. Anything that encourages darkness is, you know, it's not of yourself. And Alma talks about planting the seed, the word, and if it expands, in other words, it enlightens, it lifts, well then you know that that is of God, that's of your true self.
Mitch Harris:And so you will like. You need to change. We all need to change. Transform. That's repentance, means change. So we're repenting, but it's sort of like we're repenting for, or we're changing our false perception of who we thought we were. So we're letting go of who we thought we were and we're tuning in to our true self. Our true self is divine. It's untainted, it's of God, it's not imperfect. The false self is what's imperfect. So it's letting go of all the false perceptions of the false self. That makes a lot of sense. And the true self is eternal. This is something I love about LDS doctrine that teaches that it can't be created and it can't be destroyed, and it's eternal. And it's this beam of light within us that is divine. It's untainted, it's not evil, it's pure and it has no beginning and no end, whereas the ego, the false self, the natural man, has a beginning and an end. It was born in this life and it will end. Well, it can extend into the.
Talmage Thayne:Into the next, if we let it.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, it can go into the spirit world. Actually, are you? On threads Like Instagram threads. I haven't looked into that yet.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, I actually just posted something, something I learned in therapy a long time ago or a group session I was in and he said he's talking about worthiness and how worthiness in the church has such a. It's like a two-edged sword. It can really hurt people if they don't understand it, because they hear worth inside of that and they say they're like I'm unworthy, I am of less worth and I sinned, therefore I'm unworthy, so therefore I am of less worth. But I had such a paradigm shift in this group when I learned this principle Sin is not the thing that makes you. Sin can't make you unworthy of God's blessing, of God's love, of your identity. Sin is simply unworthy of you as a son of God.
Talmage Thayne:As that divine being. Like you said, you are eternal, you are always this way, you are always like the true self was perfect before this life, in this life and after this life, and so don't cover it up with a bunch of mud. But, that mud isn't you? We think it is. Which is the problem.
Mitch Harris:We think that our imperfection is us, and actually a lot of our imperfection, a lot of our mistakes, are a result of thinking. We're imperfect Because if you start so when your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings create your actions. So if you're thinking that you're a sinner, that you're not worthy of God's presence, that you're not worthy of having him in a relationship with God, you're not worthy of his blessings, if those are your thoughts, how do you think you're going to feel about yourself?
Mitch Harris:You're going to feel terrible about yourself, and if you feel terrible about yourself, how do you think you're going to act?
Talmage Thayne:Act in the way that makes you. You act in the way that a terrible person would act, because you're feeling that way.
Mitch Harris:You feel that way, if you're feeling like garbage, if you're sick, do you want to go party and have fun with people and go out? Most likely not. You're going to want to stay secluded and that's just. That's more of a physical. But when you feel like you're unworthy, you feel like you don't have value and you feel like a sinner, but then you're going to act like one. And then, when you act like one, you get outcomes. You get consequences of those actions and then those become your evidence. So you make a mistake, you make a mistake, you do something wrong. Well, now that's your evidence that you actually are a terrible person and you're not worthy so then you
Mitch Harris:go round and round the cycle and you start thinking more negatively about yourself, feeling more negatively, acting more negatively and getting those outcomes, and then you believe, you start to believe that you're actually flawed and imperfect and then you as a result that affects your relationship with God, like you were describing you start to feel unworthy of God and feel like he doesn't love you.
Mitch Harris:And also one of the biggest travesties is we start to perceive ourselves as being on a scale with God. It's almost and this is how I viewed God honestly and how a lot of people that I've talked to viewed God as and it's subconscious, it's not always on a conscious level you view him this way, but I noticed after digging into this kind of conversations, I viewed God as almost like this distant figure. He distant because I'm unworthy, so he can't be in my presence, because no one clean thing can be in the presence of God. So God is distant and he's out there in the ether somewhere. So when I would pray I would just see darkness and he was kind of this figure and I felt love from him. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I never felt a connection with him.
Mitch Harris:I'm not saying it was either or, but when I really dug into it, I think I had this vision of him, distant but also hovering over me, like judging my every move, whether this move was good or this move was bad. And I'm gonna give you more light. You're closer to me based on what I'm doing all the time. Yeah.
Mitch Harris:And so it felt. It made it seem like love and worthiness were like always on this scale of like, constantly going in and out, in and out, and what I realized is that was all just in my head. God is ever present, he's in and through all things, he's right here right now, and we don't. So the realization was this I am not keeping God's commandments so that he will love me, so that he will consider me worthy of his blessings and so that I have value in his eyes. That's not why I'm keeping his commandments, so that I don't forget about his love and the way that he sees me, the way that he sees me as valuable and worthy, because when we sin, it separates us from that knowledge. And I also keep the commandments so that I can come into deep divine relationship with him.
Mitch Harris:So I relate it to like if I have a son and let's say I build a thriving coaching business, like multi-million dollar coaching curriculum and business and everything, and I have all these coaches under me and all that which, by the way, sounds like something I'd never wanna do but let's say that I wanted my son to have that business and but he chose a different path and he chose one of heaven, forbid drugs and alcohol. I want him to have it. I love him unconditionally, no matter what decision he makes. I will love him unconditionally, forever, for all time, and he's always worthy of what I want to give him and he's always valuable in my eyes. But I won't give it to him because that wouldn't help my kingdom, my business, it wouldn't help all the people that are involved in that and it also wouldn't help him.
Mitch Harris:It would be giving him a responsibility that he's not ready for, and so that's how.
Talmage Thayne:I was. The only thing you can give an addict is money. Yeah, exactly.
Mitch Harris:So that's kind of how I view it Is. I'm not out here trying to prove my worth to God so that he'll bless me, or that trying to gain more of his love. That's always there, it's intrinsic, it's ever-existent, never-ending, always flowing into me from him, and but I'm following him, I'm trying to listen to his voice and his guidance because I don't want to forget that.
Mitch Harris:I don't want to be blinded from that, because that is so powerful to know that. And then I also want to come into deep relationship with him. So I want and that's how it would be with my son If he let go of those things and obviously if he was interested in the business and we could have that camaraderie and work together and have a really close relationship. That's why he's aligning himself with the standards that I need him, or the person I need him to be in order to run that business. Same with God. He needs us to be in a certain frame because he has all these children that he wants us to help.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, he needs to be able to trust us, yeah he needs to be able to trust us, but it's not that he doesn't love us.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, yeah, it's just that we don't have that relationship.
Mitch Harris:Yeah totally so. That's how I view it now. It's he's not like now. I view him when I close my eyes. He's near. I visualize him here with me in my presence, because I am worthy of his presence.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, that's a really good way to describe it with like the whole your son, your business, like you wouldn't give it to him because he wouldn't be able to help the kingdom and it wouldn't help him either. Because sometimes, when at least for me when I hear people say like there's nothing wrong with you, you're perfect, my gut reaction is to be like what are you talking about?
Mitch Harris:You don't know me, you just want me to avoid accountability kind of thing and that's like that's not good.
Talmage Thayne:That's like my gut reaction and I know that's like a lot of return missionaries gut reactions because, like, accountability is a big thing, but in the way you described it, as well as the way it actually is is you can take full accountability while knowing you are completely worthy of God's love, that your identity is perfect as a son, as a daughter of God, while still taking accountability for what you are doing right now and maybe the ego side or the false perception that you've put on yourself, and so yeah that's a, I guess.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, that's a really good way to describe it.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, that's a really good addition to that. It's like it's not a. I am not in no way saying that you say there's an addiction or a bad behavior in some way. I'm not saying that you don't do anything about that, yeah. But here's the problem that I see and that I noticed is we are using self-criticism and lack of self-acceptance and, yeah, self-criticism to motivate ourselves to change and to motivate others to change and judgment to motivate ourselves to change.
Mitch Harris:For example, if I I'll just use my son again if he plays soccer so if I, let's say, have a conversation with him before the game and I tell him all the things I want him to do and he doesn't do them, and after the game I come down really hard and I criticize all of everything he did and I judge his actions and I tell him what he needs to do better. He might improve a little bit. But let's say I do that for three, four games in a row and he really tries to impress me and tries to do better. And so the criticism might motivate him to some extent. But if I keep coming down on him, he's going to start thinking that he can't do it. And he's also going to start thinking that he, he should be able to do it, but there's something wrong with him, he's intrinsically flawed because he can't live up to the standard that I've set for him. And so he starts to think that he's intrinsically flawed.
Mitch Harris:Something's wrong with him. So we do that on ourselves all the time. We'll point out everything we do wrong and we point out all of our flaws and we should have done this, should have done that, but we didn't do that. So we're not good enough, we're not worthy, we're not loved, whatever it is.
Talmage Thayne:I like. Sorry just to interrupt real quick. I like what you said like self self criticism.
Mitch Harris:Yeah, self criticism.
Talmage Thayne:It's not behavior criticism.
Mitch Harris:It's self.
Talmage Thayne:Yeah, and so it's internalizing the critiques that you have and making that the motivating factor. Ah I had a really good thought God, I'm flab With self criticism yeah. If it's important, it'll come up again.
Mitch Harris:So yeah, self. So we do that all the time. We criticize ourselves all the time and the motivation is kind of pure because we're trying to motivate ourselves to change. So if we've got some bad behavior or whatever, we're criticizing ourselves. Why do you keep messing up Like you've got to do better, you've got to change this, like you can't continue down this path. You're no good, let's get it together. We do that. We're trying to motivate ourselves to change this thing that we don't like. But the problem is we're using a low vibrational emotion or feeling to change ourselves.
Mitch Harris:Self criticism, self hatred, self loathing you can't change through that. Love changes. Love is what transforms. The reason why the atonement works is because it was done in love. It's a power. It's powerful because it's birthed out of love. That's what makes it possible to change is because of love. If love was not a part of that equation, it would not have power. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. And so when we're using self criticism and coming down on the self and loathing the self because of our imperfection, our perceived flaws, then we're using a low vibrational emotion to change ourselves and it's never going to work.
Mitch Harris:And so my belief is that you have to use love, you have to use acceptance, you have to use grace. Constantly giving that to yourself, that will motivate you to change. And I'm not just talking about like, I'm talking about the divine. Knowing that God also loves you, regardless of what you do, will motivate you to transform. And so, yeah, using that instead of loathing the self or hating the self or whatever it is that's gonna get you nowhere, just further down the road of whatever it is that you're doing. But if you truly love and accept yourself, just like God does, well, that's transformative.
Talmage Thayne:Totally, I kind of pieced together what I was thinking. Okay. If we are eternal beings with no beginning or end, how we view that eternal being is so important, because that eternal being doesn't really change. We change, like the ego can change, how we view ourself can change, but that eternal being doesn't change. So, if it is divine and if it is perfect, we can give ourselves grace when this weak flesh makes a mistake.
Talmage Thayne:But if you start criticizing self, criticizing the soul, criticizing the eternal being, then that's just who you are. That, like you said, it's a low vibration, but in a different way of saying it, it's just like that's just who you are. You're a hateful person in your own mind. And so you can't and you're a self-loathing person.
Mitch Harris:You've become that person.
Talmage Thayne:You've become that person.
Mitch Harris:And you can't.
Talmage Thayne:like you said, you can't change. Certain behaviors can change for your time, but it won't be lasting the self won't change and so that, yeah, that's amazing. And just taking it back to the like Mormon doctor and the eternal intelligences, it's so interesting yeah it really is.
Mitch Harris:And the other side of that, like the intelligence, where we came from, the other side of it as well, as if you are this eternal divine being created of God and you are of God. The other piece of Mormon doctrine that I love is this eternal progression that exists within our doctrine, and this is just beautiful, because you're always ascending higher and higher and higher and higher and never ending, and so, and that's who you are, you know, that's who you are at your core, that's who you truly are, is that divine, unlimited being.
Mitch Harris:That's, yeah, it's hard to even express or comprehend, but we in this mortality have essentially been blinded from who we are. God, we have been veiled and my personal belief is that the mind is the veil and the body's part of that mind, but the mind is the veil. So if you think limiting thoughts about who you are. Your limitation is in your mind. Yeah.
Talmage Thayne:So, yeah, just gonna take it back. To not take it back, but take it to Lion King when he sees his dad in the sky, like the faucet yeah, I love that scene. He's like you've forgotten me. He's like no, I haven't forgotten you. He's like yeah, because you've forgotten who you are. You're running around eating bugs and you're not taking care of your pride. Yeah.
Talmage Thayne:Like you, could be so much more Right. And he forgot who he was, what his divine purpose was to lead his pride and rule over the animal kingdom which is pretty dang dope, right, but instead he's running around eating bugs, right and so I'm so glad you brought that up.
Mitch Harris:My wife and I have talked about that analogy as well, because the just the wording in that scene is just so perfect. It is.
Mitch Harris:And also on top. The other part of that is when he looks at his reflection and the Rafiki is like he's wanting Simba to see Mufasa in him. He lives, he says he lives in you. Same kind of thing like with our divine potential. God is part of us, we are part of God, he lives in us and but we're we're so captivated by the external world that we don't pay attention to that.
Mitch Harris:That God is within us and it's this like, yeah, that divinity or what Christ talks about with the well that springs forth out of the heart. It's like that divinity, that well of life that you've been looking for out in this world. It's actually been sitting inside of you this whole time. So kind of same concept.
Talmage Thayne:Dang, I love that. Well, I'm excited for everybody. I'm actually gonna be taking his course and gonna be going through it learning about myself, and I'm excited to do it and we're gonna be having you back on and to talk about my experience doing it.
Mitch Harris:And so.
Talmage Thayne:I'm really excited, but until then, could you tell everybody a little bit like where they can find you?
Mitch Harris:Yeah, so my website is wwwwholesoulhealercom and my Instagram is wholesoulcoach. Yeah, that's where you can find me.
Talmage Thayne:Awesome. Well, thank you guys for listening in and we'll see you guys next time.
Speaker 3:And when you are the worst, worst kind of day remember we're not.
Talmage Thayne:We're not going away, a thousand miles apart between you and me. Remember we're not, we're not going away. Thank you so much for listening to that episode of Release the Podcast. It was so fun having Mitch on. He's thought a lot about this topic and has some really good insights to share. If you guys are interested in sharing your story on the podcast or know somebody that should share their story on the podcast, please reach out. You can either be on the podcast you can have me read it out loud on the podcast or remain anonymous. Either way, we'd love to have your story and hopefully it could help a lot of return missionaries. I hope this second week of 2024 has treated you well. Just remember God is good and is planning on your success and though you've been released from your mission, you've not been released from your ministry.