237. The Bristle Reaction & Rejection in Relationships with Vanessa & Xander Marin

Hey, hey! Welcome back to the Owning Your Sexual Self podcast! I can hardly believe I get to say this, but today’s guests are none other than Vanessa and Xander Marin! Vanessa is a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience, Xander is the self-proclaimed “regular dude” by her side, and together they’ve built this amazing platform of relatable, hilarious, and truly practical advice for couples. Their book Sex Talks is a New York Times bestseller, their Instagram videos live in my saved folder, and their podcast Pillow Talks is basically the sex education we all wish we got. They’re funny, real, and shockingly open about the ups and downs of relationships.

In this episode:

• What the bristle reaction is and how it shows up in relationships
• How unspoken intentions during touch can create tension or shutdown
• The importance of direct versus indirect initiation of sex
• Why non sexual touch and affection matter outside the bedroom
• How to handle rejection in a way that keeps the door open for connection 
• Simple practices like the 30 second hug to build closeness
• The five essential conversations from Vanessa and Xander’s book Sex Talks
• Laughs, stories, and the kind of energy that makes sex and relationships feel way less serious and way more fun

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! 

Resources
Sex Talks Book
Sex Talks Card Deck 
The Pillow Talks Podcast

Connect with Vanessa & Xander
Instagram - @VanessaAndXander
Website - vmtherapy.com