The Relevance Of Now
The Relevance Of Now
Rebuilding Trust
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If you’ve ever watched trust fade one broken promise at a time, you know how confusing it can feel. You might love your partner, mean what you say, and still find yourself stuck in the same “I’ll change” loop. We dig into that gap between intention and follow-through, and we get specific about what’s happening internally when someone knows they’re not being fully trustworthy.
We talk about the real blockers behind repeated patterns: fear of failure, self-doubt, and fear of change that pulls you back into a familiar routine. We also name the common defenses that keep relationships stuck, like rationalizing, shutting down, or blaming your partner’s “strict expectations” instead of facing your own discomfort. The pivot is simple but not easy: choosing who you want to be, regardless of what your partner is doing, and recognizing that what’s being exposed is often what you’ve already outgrown.
From there, we lay out a practical path for rebuilding relationship trust: take small steps, say what those steps are, and keep communication open in real time so trust can grow through visible action. We also cover what to do when you slip up. If you’re serious about trust repair, emotional intimacy, and healthy behavioral change, this conversation gives you a grounded place to start.
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Welcome And The Trust Problem
SPEAKER_01Hello and welcome to The Relevance of Now with William Lynnville. My name is Michael Connell, and I'm here with William. Good morning, William. Good morning, Michael. How are you, my good friend? I'm doing really well, thanks. How are you? I'm doing great, buddy. Thanks for asking. You're welcome. You've shared that a number of clients over the years in relationship. One or both of them have challenges with their spouse around trusting them. Yes. And that trusting them can be any matter of behaviors. And I've also experienced this in relationship. We all can understand when we feel another person isn't trustworthy. They'll say one thing maybe very repetitively
Fear And Self-Doubt Behind Broken Promises
SPEAKER_01over the years. They might say they're working on it, they're trying to change their behavior, but there's no needle moving in that. It just kind of continues on in the relationship. Yes. And for the dear one that knows they're not super trustworthy, they're not keeping their word about changing their behavior that they said they would. What goes on for that person inside of them that blocks them from following through?
SPEAKER_00A lot of fear of failure and self-doubt, and then fear of change.
SPEAKER_01So you're saying like a fear of change in what way?
SPEAKER_00Well, it's like they get into a routine of their behavioral mannerisms, and they become afraid of changing that routine as if it's going to make them more vulnerable.
SPEAKER_01Hmm. And then you said like a fear of failure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like they try to change, but then they're afraid that they won't be able to fully make that change. And they're going to let their partner down. So they get back into their comfort zone of wash rent three peat and continuing to do the same thing because it's part of their comfort zone. And trying to be upright and justified within their comfort zone, and then trying to find fault with their partner.
SPEAKER_01I'm laughing only because I I know I've done that. The uh, you know, asking the partner to have more compassion. It it is really interesting because what I hear you say is with all those fears, there's a certain level of justification and shutdown.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, buddy. And a lot of walls up.
SPEAKER_01It's a complicated weave of internal struggle. Yes, and uncomfortability. And so knowing that information, I think, is really helpful for someone who wants to overcome themselves, wants to be trustworthy. Uh-huh. What I hear you're saying is really have to come to terms that what these blockages are before you can really say, I'm working on it. Because if you're in shutdown mode and it's wash, rinse, repeat, you don't know how to change your pattern. Nothing's going to change.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. And you go into a lot of justification irrationalizations trying to justify your behaviors. Right.
SPEAKER_01You might say, I'm doing my best.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Whereas that's just a justification.
Dropping Justifications And Owning Your Choice
SPEAKER_01Yes. You just haven't figured out what the formula is to dissolve these blockages. Exactly. How do you assist dear ones that have these blockages within them? Do they need to be blocked?
SPEAKER_00By having them see that those blockages are not really serving them, that they're actually holding them back from really fully enjoying all of creation. And that they're holding them hostage from being able to fully express themselves and being in an intimate, loving relationship with the heart in a harmonious state within themselves. And where they're really hindering their enjoyment and their happiness and holding them back from the enjoyment that they could be experiencing in their life. And assisting them to see that they've outgrown the behaviors, now it's just behavioral mannerisms that are holding them hostage. Because you see, even when their partner is asking them to make long-term beneficial changes, it's because it's all coming up to be dissolved, and because it's time for it to be dissolved, and it's becoming exposed for them to let go of because they have outgrown them. That's why it's surfacing so powerfully.
SPEAKER_01And I know this was the case for me, but one of my justifications for not changing was I felt that my partner's expectations were too strict. Well, I share that is there's always going to be a justification, but I had to choose to be who I wanted to be, irrespective of if I thought my partner had challenges too. Exactly. That it was just really about me being who I wanted to be. You've taught this to all of us in life that in all areas beyond just trust, the messages that you share is just be who you want to be. Exactly. Other people's behaviors have nothing to do with you. Exactly. And can you share more about that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, their behaviors have nothing to do with you, and all this stuff is coming up to be exposed and to be released and to set yourself free.
SPEAKER_01Now, in a relationship, you've built a long history of saying you're
Small Steps And Real-Time Communication
SPEAKER_01going to change a behavior, saying you're going to do something and not doing it. Can you talk about the commitment level that's necessary to rebuild the trust?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, by taking small steps to change the behavior and the sharing with your partner that you're taking small steps, even sharing with your partner the small steps that you're taking, and that you're doing your utmost to address the behavioral matterisms and sharing with them the steps that you're taking to show them that you're actually doing something to change the behaviors and to remedy them. That it's not just words. Right. And then what do you share with them when you slip up? That you're doing your best, but yet you've had something come up that you've made a blooper with. And then you open up your heart and you share from your heart that okay, I made a blooper, but I'm still right on track, and that you're doing your best.
SPEAKER_01So it takes an internal commitment to repetitively overcome them and rewire the brain that they're no longer necessary.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, buddy. And that you're overcoming them. And you welcome forth your higher levels to assist you to supersede and overcome it, to where you're you're welcoming in your big guns to simplify it as well as to make it easier for yourself.
SPEAKER_01And what I heard you say is, you know, the communication is the key kind of real time throughout the whole process of rebuilding trust.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. And letting the trust grow. Because the more open you are, the more expressive you are, the more the trust is going to grow. Because you're not just keeping everything inside.
SPEAKER_01Right. You're allowing yourself to be vulnerable and strong at the same time. Internal heart strength.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. And being open with your partner is important because you're showing them that you're doing your utmost. Yeah, the more that you're coming through your heart, the more easier it is to let things flow and to let the trust grow. Because the heart is your center point is allowing for your behavioral mannerisms to be of the highest of integrity and sincerity. And is bypassing the egoic arrogance to where your behavioral mannerisms are going to change, you become more fluid and more integrated within yourself.
SPEAKER_01Awesome, William. Thank you. Thank you, thank you for all this clarity
Heart-Led Integrity And Closing
SPEAKER_01on this really important matter in a relationship, and yet where with all the conflicts within us, we can easily be stuck. Absolutely. And thank you all for joining us. This is The Relevance of Now with William Linville. Please click subscribe and join us next time. Namaste.
SPEAKER_00Namaste.