Welcome to the Coffee-side Chat series here on the Simple Not Shallow podcast. This podcast is for those who want to enrich their faith, and this series is doing so, one thoughtful sip at a time. My name is Charles. Over the past 9 years, I’ve come to see that there is no better way for friends to talk about Jesus and their faith than over a cup of coffee, or Coffee-side, if you will  . So grab yourself some coffee and put on your thinking cap, cause here we go.

In this episode, the question we are going to explore to enrich our faith is: Why does God sometimes feel distant from us? 

As we begin to consider this question, let’s remember to look at it through the lens of what it means to be a Christian. Which does mean, first and foremost, to be in a relationship with Jesus, one that leads to studentship under him, that then leads to a life lived for him based on all that is learned from him. It is always all three of these together, the first leading to the second, leading to the third. Indeed, if you do not have all three, if all three are not present and active, what we have is not a true following of Jesus. We just don’t. 

How does this help? Well, by looking at this question through this lens, two very different suggestions have occurred to me as to why God may seem distant. I tell you what, before jumping the gun and just blurting out those two suggestions. Let me share what inspired them. 

As I was searching the Bible to see what I could find there, I mean, it is God’s word. If there were a teaching on this anywhere, it would be there. Right?

The first passage in which I found something was in  Romans 8:11, which says that God has made his home with us. The next passage I found was Hebrews 13:5, where God promises to never leave or forsake us. So Jesus teaches, in no uncertain terms, that God is not distant from us, even when we feel that he is.

So, God is always right where he has always been; he has not moved, he is not truly distant from us . This fact helps me see that my feelings, while sometimes useful, are not the ultimate or even the best source of true information. My studentship under Jesus has taught me that God loves us and is with us, whether we feel that way or not. End of story.

However, you might be thinking, “You know, that sort of makes some sense, but still, why does he sometimes feel so distant? For that sense of disconnect is very real, don’t you agree?” Yes, I do. It is very real.

Yet, it is from the knowledge that God has not gone anywhere that the first of these two suggestions occurred to me. The first suggestion is this: that since God has not withdrawn from us, perhaps it is we who have withdrawn from him. 

Now, hang with me for just a moment. I took what we just talked about and combined it with something I found in Isaiah 59:2, which says our sins can hide God from us. Isn’t that interesting? What we choose to do can put us in a position where we do not feel God’s presence, where we are not aware of it. 

“How does that work?” You ask. Well, if we have turned our backs on him and walked away from him to pursue our own self-centered likes, desires, and understandings, whether these are of a religious nature or not , then it makes sense that he would seem hidden from us. Not because he has moved, but we have.  Because we have turned our backs on him, our attention is no longer centered on him; so, we have removed him from our awareness. I mean, how could we possibly be aware of him when he is no longer in our field of vision? It was our choice and the follow-through on that choice that caused the problem. Right? That is the first of the two very different suggestions to arise from what I learned.

Now you may rightly ask, “But what if, upon a self-examination, to make sure we have not turned away, we find that this isn’t the problem. That far from turning our backs on Jesus, we had actually been growing in our relationship with him just before he seemed to withdraw and vanish? Do you have a suggestion that covers this?” 

Yes, I do. That is the second of the two suggestions that occurred to me. And I’m actually quite excited to share this with you. The second suggestion is this: the sense of God being distant from us can be a sign of growth in our relationship with him. I know, I know, I know, cause I was thinking that exact same thing. “Growing closer to God can lead to a sense of distance from him?” I know….

Once again, bear with me for just a second as I explain. Here, based on what we learned about God always being right where he has always been in Romans and Hebrews, I found what could be wonderful examples of this second suggestion in three different books. In Matthew 10,  Mark 6:7-12, and Luke 9:1-6 and 10:1-11. In all of these passages, Jesus sends his disciples out, two by two, to go and do what he has taught them to do. He sends them out on their own to do what he has trained them to do. He wasn’t abandoning them, but, well, we could say that the time had come for the training wheels to come off. Could we not? 

So what if God, who has been keeping a supportive hand on the bike as we were learning to ride, meaning learning the lessons he was teaching, and our growth in him as we learned those lessons, is now saying to us, “Alright, Alright. Now that you’ve learned from me, your balance is better, and you’ve gotten stronger. My friend, it’s time for you to shine, to demonstrate what you’re capable of. It’s time for those training wheels to come off; in other words, it is time for you to live out what you have learned from me and do what I have enabled you to do.” And so, he removes his hand, a direct sense of his support, and allows us to do what we can do, what we’ve been trained to do, what he has prepared us to do. Just like he did with the disciples when he sent them out two by two.

Or you know, another good illustration may be the training of a toddler to walk. At first, the parent will need to hold both of the infant’s hands as he is learning to take his first few tentative steps. He doesn’t have a sense of balance; he doesn’t have a sense of control. Both hands need to be held. Though soon, only one hand will need to be held while the child is walking. And before you know it, the time arrives when the parent must let go of both hands if the child is ever going to learn to walk on its own. And what a momentous event that is. Full of joy for both parent and child.

Indeed, we would not think it a very good thing at all, for an otherwise healthy child to never learn to walk without having to hang on to the parent’s hand, would we? And in releasing the child’s hand, the parent has not abandoned the child, has he? Rather, he has done what the child’s growth actually needs. 

So, too, with God and us. If he never let go of our hands from time to time, we would never grow into the healthy, fully mature adults he means for us to be. Letting go of our hands, or we could say, removing his direct and obvious support (a sense of his closeness), from time to time, is not an abandonment of us but rather a demonstration of his love for us, for he is encouraging us to do what we can and, in doing so, is helping us grow stronger. 

It’s not that you will never feel his closeness again, but at that specific time, the removal of direct felt closeness is necessary for your growth. That is profound.

Anyway, put these thoughts in your tool kit. Now, yes, this is not all that could be said on this topic. And yes, there may be other reasons for his seeming distant from us. This is not meant to be an end-all conversation about this. Rather, these two very different  suggestions are meant to be a good starting place for your own investigation into this question. 

You’ll have to let me know what you think. If you don’t mind, tell me all about what you are thinking in the comments section for this episode. Click on the link provided in the show notes for this episode. Copy and paste it if you need to. And once on this episode’s home page, scroll down, and you will find that comment box and can share away.  Thank you for listening and for sharing. 

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Well, until next time. May your relationship with Jesus grow and your coffee cup overflow.