Welcome to the Coffee-side Chat series on the Simple Not Shallow podcast. This podcast is for those who want to enrich their faith, and this series is doing so, one thoughtful sip at a time. My name is Charles. Over the past 9 years, I’ve come to see that there is no better way for friends to talk about Jesus and our faith than over a cup of coffee, or Coffee-side, you might say. So grab yourself some coffee and put on your thinking cap, cause here we go.

In this episode, the question we will explore to enrich our faith is: Why is forgiving others so important to our faith? And since this is to enrich our Christian faith, we must look at it through the lens of what it means to be a Christian. Otherwise, whatever we enrich, it may not be our faith in Jesus. 

And as a reminder, this lens is a following of Jesus that, first and foremost, involves a relationship with him, leading to studentship under him, and then to a life lived for him based on everything he has taught us. All three altogether, not one or the other. But all are intrinsically linked and in balance with each other.

So, forgiving others… Why is it so important? Don’t know about you, but I commonly hear two answers. 

The most common runs something like this: “We forgive for our own sanity and well-being. It’s just healthier to forgive and let it go. We feel better doing so.” And yes, it is healthier to do so, but if that is the reason we are doing it, well, especially when looking through the lens of a relationship with Jesus, it seems very self-centered, doesn’t it? And as we have seen in other episodes, self-centeredness is always something less than relational, less than loving. As a benefit, it’s beautiful; as a motivation, it’s not so great. And, as Jesus is our example in all things, I don’t see Jesus coming and dying on a cross so our sins could be forgiven just so he could feel better about himself. That makes no sense.

The second most common answer I hear is, “Well, because God said to.” 

Well… yes, he did. He did so in the Lord’s Prayer, as found in Matthew 6:9-14. In verse 12, Jesus ties God’s forgiveness of our sins directly to our forgiveness of others. And then, in verse 14, he gets very specific and says that if we do not forgive others, he will not forgive us. So, yes, God did say this was very important. But can we find a possible reason for this? 

Well, since following Jesus is first and foremost a relationship, perhaps that reason has its origins there. Do you remember about 2 episodes ago when we talked about the two greatest commands? And that these commands, which are to love, are so vital that Jesus pointed out that every other command given is based on them? Well then, this command to forgive must also be based on love. 

“What difference does this make?” You ask.

Well, forgiveness is now a matter of loving God with our entire being and our neighbors as ourselves. If we do not forgive, we are not loving our neighbor. And do you remember what 1 John 4 says, that if we do not love our neighbor, we do not know God? Hard to be a follower of someone you don’t even know. It’s worth considering.

And here is another thing. Back in episode 104, we talked about how sin is the choice not to love. Since the choice not to forgive is a choice not to love, this, too, is a sin. And sin separates us from God; so choosing not to forgive keeps you separated from God. Because, as with any sin, by making that choice, we have turned our backs on him and pursued our own interests. Here’s a question for you: How can we experience forgiveness when we have turned and walked away from the one who offers it? Simply put, we can’t. No wonder we can’t experience forgiveness if we don’t forgive. 

In addition to all this, I found some very interesting passages in both the Old and New Testaments that speak about how love and forgiveness work together. These include Proverbs 10:12, 1 Corinthians 13:5, and 1 Peter 4:8, all of which state that love forgives, it covers over sin, and it takes no account of evil. And in Proverbs 17:9, forgiveness actually promotes love. Isn’t that profound? Love forgives; it just does. And forgiveness promotes love. 

Yes, they are two different things. But in our studentship from Jesus, we are learning that they go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. If you love, you forgive. If you forgive, you love. And, as importantly, if you do not forgive, you do not love, and if you do not love, you are not a follower of Jesus, because you don’t really know him. This is the importance of forgiving others.

Before we wrap up our time together, there is one more thing that using our lens of what it means to be a Christian does. It helps me remember that relationships take time to grow. And Jesus gives us room to grow as we learn from and live for him. And if you are like me, you tend to need all the room you can get. I am very grateful that, as long as I’m willing to learn and then put what I have learned into practice, Jesus will help me get there. He will help me to forgive. It may be difficult, but if I follow him, he will get me there. 

Anyway. What do you think? Please remember that this is a very brief chat. Much more can be said about this than can be covered here. But, with that in mind, please let me know what you think in this episode’s comments section. Click on the link provided in the show notes for this episode. Copy and paste it if you need to. And once on this episode’s home page, scroll down, and you will find that comment box and can share away.  Thank you for listening and for sharing. 

Also, please rate this episode and subscribe to this podcast through the podcast service of your choice. Stitcher, Spotify, Apple podcasts, iheartradio, tune in, google podcasts, or whichever you prefer. 

Well, until next time, then. May both love and forgiveness grow strong in you. And may your relationship with Jesus grow and your coffee cup overflow.