The Quarterback DadCast

A Journey of Fatherhood and Building a Business - Adam Packard

• Casey Jacox • Season 5 • Episode 280

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This is our final episode of 2024! Thank you to everyone who continues to listen and support our journey of impacting fathers and helping them improve their leadership in their homes. 

Today's final episode emphasizes the fatherhood journey through the eyes of Adam Packard, who shares his experiences transitioning from a golf professional to a dedicated dad and entrepreneur. The conversation explores empathy, communication, and the importance of building strong family relationships while focusing on self-growth as a foundation for effective parenting.

• Importance of gratitude in parenting 
• Maintaining strong family values based on childhood experiences 
• Emphasizing empathy and communication in relationships 
• Transitioning from golf to entrepreneurship 
• Encouraging independence in children 
• Learning to balance work and family life 
• Leading by example and modeling positive behavior 

To learn more about Adam and his team, please find them at https://ninjaprospecting.com/.

If you have not taken time to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcast, please do that. That would mean the world to us, and there are ways you think we can be better. If you have a guest in mind, please contact us at casey@caseyjacox.com.

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Speaker 2:

Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad's show. Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback, dad cast. I want to say thank you to everyone who continues to listen. I also want to let you know that we will be having a few new sponsors as we get ready to head into 2025 and season six, which feels so cool, to say everybody, I sometimes it's still a pinch me moment that you know a project started nearly five years ago was just going to be for fun, and here we go we're still. We're still going hard and we're still going strong, and I don't see us stopping because it's so fun. It's fun for me as the host, learning about myself and trying to get better as a dad each and every week, and I hope you guys do feel the same. A huge favor I'd love to ask is if you've not taken time yet to leave us a review on Apple or Spotify, or even on YouTube, which we now have a video. Please go ahead and do that. It'd be a great. I'd appreciate it. As the host, I know that our listeners would appreciate it, because that's how we're going to impact more dads who are striving to be that ultimate quarterback or leader of their home. So with that, I want to say thank you again for listening and let's get right to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast. Well, hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast. Welcome again to Season 5. Welcome again to the video version of the episode. I'm so glad I did this.

Speaker 2:

I was just telling our next guest, mr Adam Packard, that I wish I would have done this earlier, earlier. But shout out to many who've been pushing me along the way, and there's a phrase I like to say in my coaching business, which is don't let the start stop you. Well, I was letting the start stop me, but I'm glad I'm not doing that anymore. But our next guest I mentioned is Adam Packard. He's a Nittany Lion, he is the founder of Ninja Prospecting, he's a golf pro, he's a caddyshack lover, he's an entrepreneur, but more importantly, he's a dad, and that's why he's here today to talk about how he's working hard to become the ultimate quarterback or leader of his household. So, without further ado, mr Packard, welcome to the quarterback dad cast. Thanks, thanks for having me Appreciate it All right.

Speaker 1:

Well, first question, out of the gate we always say tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today, oh man, everybody says, you know, having kids is, you know, changing it changes your life, right, you don't believe it until it actually happens. But yeah, I mean, I just love being a dad. I love and I'm grateful for we have a very close family. You know, I have, you know, a brother who has a son as well. That's a couple years older than my son. I have two stepkids as well, so I kind of had a built in family when I met my wife. But yeah, family is first for us. I think, you know, my goal is to build my business around my life, not my life around my business. So, yeah, grateful, I get to take him to school and pick him up and take him to soccer practice and do fun outings because he's at the age you know, every age is fun, but he's nine now and it's just. You know, the conversations we have, the adventures we have, is just the best thing.

Speaker 2:

Love it. Well, I'm grateful for I mentioned this before we started recording. So this is August 22nd. Everybody, this episode will come out in a couple months, but today is the day that I am taking my son off to college in the family truckster and, um, I knew this day was coming and hopefully I won't get emotional in this episode.

Speaker 2:

I might you never know, but man, it is uh, way harder, but even I ever thought way harder and um, uh, it's going to be great. We're going to have a lot of laughs along the way. We're going to enjoy the drive and I'm just grateful for you know, we got a four hour drive today and another actually a three hour and a half, three and a half hour drive today and they're four hours tomorrow. He's actually going to go play golf at southern oregon university and awesome, um, yeah, he's really excited to see where he goes. You know we're unfortunately. We have fortunately, or unfortunately, we he decided to meet this fantastic young woman, charlie, and she came into our life and, uh, we're gonna miss her around the house for sure, um, already gonna be hard, oh man, but uh, anyway, not about me, it's about you, I got, I got, I got.

Speaker 1:

Uh, I got nine more years, so oh, dude enjoy it.

Speaker 2:

I mean, all the cliches are true. It freaking goes by so fast. I mean I, yeah, I remember playing wiffleball with my kid your age, um, your son's age, but anyway, uh, okay, before we get into dad stuff, uh, favorite caddy shot quote is god there's so many.

Speaker 1:

Uh, uh, I would say it's probably. Uh, it's right in the lumberyard. Do you do drugs any? Yeah, every day. What's the problem?

Speaker 2:

good, good, it seems to be a problem. I don't know. I gotta go to college. What nebraska? So I could? I could quote caddy shock for days. Everybody and I had to go. I had to go to comedy to make sure the tears don't come on this episode, because it's not on me, it's my adam. So, um, bring me inside the packard huddle. Um, you talked about your briefly nine-year-old. You got a son, you got step kids. Tell me a a little bit about life inside the Packard family. Now, who are the members of the squad? And bring me inside the huddle.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so we have two, the two older boys. One is just graduated college, he's 22,. Cole, he is doing an internship in Boston and then moving to Seattle for work, which makes mom a little, a little upset, but I'm in.

Speaker 2:

Seattle, oh, which makes mom a little upset.

Speaker 1:

I'm in Seattle, oh, you're in Seattle, but far from us. And then the 19-year-old is a sophomore at University of Arizona. So they're here periodically. At that age they kind of come and go as they please. And then our nine-year-old, hudson, is a third grader. He plays soccer on a club team. He's addicted to soccer. We have a soccer net out back. We play every single day. My wife's a children's book author and she stays home and manages the household so I can do my thing. But yeah, we do a ton of stuff together. You know family dinners, um, you know family outings. We do a lot of vacations, a lot of staycations, a lot of great places here in Arizona to stay, um, but yeah, we uh, you know, family for us is, is everything, and and we're as tight, I think, as uh as any family could be, so that's pretty awesome.

Speaker 2:

Very cool, um, and tell me how you and your wife met.

Speaker 1:

It's a funny story actually. So I, being a golf pro, you know, one of the things I always wanted to get better at was flexibility, and everybody always said you should try yoga. And so I started taking yoga classes hot yoga, where it's 105 degrees with 90% humidity and I did it for golf, but I also did it because 90% of the class is female and I was single at the time, and they're all good looking and attractive. So I went to a yoga class. I bought a Groupon to a new yoga studio and she was the instructor and so, yeah, I saw her and I was, like you know, I started to she she jokes because she taught a 5 30 AM class and I started showing up at her 5 30 AM class and I'm at that point in my life, I wasn't a morning person, but I would start showing up just to her classes and eventually I overheard her say something about her ex Um and that kind of gave me the uh, the open door to uh, start the conversation.

Speaker 2:

Green light rip driver.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I joke. I was like. I was like you've already seen, I mean, in yoga, hot yoga, you know, you're basically wearing nothing. Yeah, you got like small shorts on no shirt and I looked at her. I was like, hey, you've pretty much seen what you're gonna get right. So there's, there's gonna be no surprises. So if you like what you see, then let's uh, let's take the next step so good.

Speaker 2:

I actually used to do hot yoga back pre-COVID. It just hasn't happened. I still exercise Pretty much. My fitness goals are don't get fat and don't get hurt At the ripe old age of 48.

Speaker 2:

But my yoga story shout out to a guy named Joel Ostead. If you're listening Probably isn't, but if he is, I remember he was a former client of mine. I worked in corporate. He said jaycox, you got to come try yoga with me. I'm like all right, I mean I'm thinking what a great way to build relationships. I was kind of maybe a little bit odd that two dudes are gonna go to yoga together. But it's like hey, what the hell, we'll try it. I go and, um, happily married everybody 25 years. But there was this fantastic hot woman in the yoga and I told my wife about it when I got home. But I'm like I mean, right in front of me, I'm like I couldn't even barely focus on freaking the yoga. I'm like this is, freaking, the best thing ever I'm going to get again. Well, the next time I go I get a 400 pound chewbacca dude. That looked like a mix of, like you know, sloth from goonies and freaking, you know, chewy oh chewbacca, I was just like I'm like, oh, just reeked of booze.

Speaker 2:

I'm like, what in the hell I'm out. But luckily that has. I've not seen that gentleman ever since and hope he's doing well wherever he is I'm sure he's not listening good point, um well, uh, let's. I'd like to then go back in time. I always like to ask, ask my guests, tell me what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact your parents had on you now that you're a dad.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I grew up in a small town in Maine probably about 3,000 people. There were 79 kids in my graduating class. Wow, probably about 3000 people. There were 79 kids in my graduating class. So, wow, um, you know, everybody knew everybody. My dad, uh, was a business owner and my mom stayed home. Um have one older brother that's a couple of years older than me.

Speaker 1:

Um, but yeah, I mean my wife jokes cause she, her family life was was horrible, um, or I should say challenging Um, and she jokes that my life growing up was like the Brady bunch. Right, it's like great parents, supportive. Um, you know, dad was always at practices and at all the games and, um, you know, mom, you know, ran us everywhere and, you know, was the bus driver. But, yeah, I had a great childhood growing up. I, you know my dad got me into golf when I was like four years old. We started playing together. So, yeah, I loved the area that we lived. We lived on a lake, we spent time boating, golfing, but, yeah, I had a great experience growing up. I wanted to make sure I tried to do the same thing when I had a family. I want to be that provider and I didn't want my I'm kind of old school. I didn't want my wife to have to work. If she wanted to work she could.

Speaker 2:

Um, because I knew how important it was having that. You know that family, uh, you know family time. Yeah, I agree, man, my, my, I was very we were lucky and fortunate. My wife was able to stay home for like the core, I'd say, from like four until 16. And then she had a great opportunity to go back to work. Shout out to Clear Edge Marketing. She works part-time now and it's the best. It's good for me and my kids that we're going to do more stuff around the house and these stuff doesn't magically get done. We don't have a dishes genie or a dishes laundry person like we actually have to do it now, which is good for all of us, um, but I think, I think it's good that one we had stay-at-home mom, but also now the kids can see mom is a beast and she can do, yeah, probably a lot more better stuff than I can, and uh, it's what I like, having a mix of both. Yeah, well, tell me what kind of business your dad was in, out of curiosity.

Speaker 1:

So he uh started a copier uh business. So he was the franchise owner for sharp uh copiers and faxes. So he owned the new England territory, um, and he grew that to. I think he had like 150 employees at one point and um 17 million in sales and he eventually sold it to icon office solutions, um. But yeah, he was in the copier business for years and years and I think he sold it back in early 2000. And then he jokes around saying you know, he retired and realized he didn't play golf well enough to play golf every day. So yeah, he dabbles in a lot of different ventures. Now he helps us out with some marketing stuff too, which is fun.

Speaker 2:

I wonder if he knows that. One of my good buddies. So we actually spend time on the east coast. Every summer we go to this island called cuddy hunk. Have you heard of it? Is that in massachusetts? Yeah, it's off the coast of new bedford, okay. And but one of my best buddies out there shout out to jamie ackerman. He's been in the copier business for almost 30 years in new england rhode island area. He, uh, he worked for I think he worked for Icon or Conica.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm sure they're paths have crossed at some point, because my parents were in Hartford, connecticut, for a while, okay, and then moved up to Maine, so yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay, very cool. Yeah, were you guys hockey fans growing up? No.

Speaker 1:

I wasn't a hockey fan. It was just so, you know, hockey was so big in in maine I didn't have it as a sport at my school, um, but I never really got into hockey. I was a, I was a golfer, I was a basketball player and tennis, those are my sports, um. So I played a little bit of baseball and soccer growing up, but uh, you know that golf was kind of my was, was my thing. I played as much as I could short golf season in maine, which made it a little challenging but two weeks yeah it.

Speaker 1:

I remember playing in our high school championship and I think it was in October and the ground was frozen and it was snowing, and so, yeah, of course I never wore pants right. My, you know, my dad and I are always wearing shorts as a matter of if it's cold or not. He could be in 30 degree, you know Maine, and he'd be walking around in shorts.

Speaker 2:

So, um, yeah, he's a funny guy, which is makes sense why I live in Arizona. Now, yeah, I love it out here. The pool's like 90 degrees, you can't beat it, wow. Um, as you think about growing up for you, um, I'm always interested to to hear what, what like, like core values or lessons, uh, that were important to like to like to your mom and dad that, like, these are the must haves that there were staples in your household. So, out of curiosity, tell me or describe a story or two or a value or two that really pops in my mind when I ask that question.

Speaker 1:

Oh, integrity. I think it just, you know, as I'm just thinking off the top of my head. You know my parents, you know, are people that?

Speaker 1:

you know, do what they say they're going to do. Um, you know they put family first, always, um, and and just be a good person, I mean that's. You know, treat other people the way you want to be treated. And so I try to. You know, share that with with my son and and give him kind of the lessons that I learned growing up. But, um, yeah, my parents were always just, I mean, they're awesome.

Speaker 1:

I mean I I have nothing you know, I hear all these, you know, childhood trauma and and challenges and divorce, and I was lucky enough to not have to deal with any of that. So I can't relate to a lot of people that didn't have good childhoods like my wife, because I had such a great upbringing. But yeah, I think, just staying true to your word, honesty, integrity, doing the right thing, you know, being a good person and then he was always good at, because he was an entrepreneur, obviously that kind of showed me the path that I wanted to go down, even though my career didn't start that way. But he was always a big goal setter and so he had a setting goals. I was probably six or seven years old when he, you know, one of the things he asked us to do for Christmas was I don't want any gifts, I don't need any ties or any.

Speaker 1:

You know, of the things he asked us to do for christmas was I don't want any gifts, I don't need any ties or any. You know golf stuff. He said, just when you say some of your goals, what you want to do this year, and so we would set goals in, what do you want to do in sports? Um, what about? You know, family academics, and so we would be writing our goals every, every christmas, um, and sharing that so, um. I need to do a better job now. It's kind of a a light bulb moment for me to start to do that more with my son. I think he's at the age where he can start to do that too, can you remember?

Speaker 1:

some of the goals you set as a kid. Yeah, I set a goal to have a hole in one one year. Uh, I set a goal to have you know all A's on my report card. Um, the golf team make the varsity basketball team. Trying to think what else I had, National Honor Society yeah, those are some of the ones that I had when I was growing up. Did we achieve them? Oh, absolutely, yeah, the hole-in-one happened. It didn't happen until I was 19, but I figured I'd put it on the goals. I also had a goal to beat my dad in golf, because I think I beat him when I was about 12 for the first time, which was pretty cool.

Speaker 2:

If you see me shake my head, it's out of jealousy. I'm 48 years old. The lowest I've been is a 0.7. I'm now a 4.5. I've been so close. Yeah, that's still really good. I deserve a home one. I feel like I've put in my time. Yeah, I've lipped out, I've hit the pin, I've been on the on the edge, and then I get these buddies who've oh, I got like six, I got like four I'm like dude. I'm a better golfer than you.

Speaker 1:

That's not fair I've only had one, and I've I've been playing golf for 40 years and it's it's a little frustrating. I've had one albatross too, which is going to happen last year, um so one albatross, I got a two on a par five and then the hole in one. I think that two on a par five is actually harder to do, but that was wow. If I got a two on a par five, I might go, might go, streaking.

Speaker 2:

I mean that, just lose my mind on the first hole. The first first hole is a par five. I might go, might go, streaking. I mean that, just lose my mind it happened on the first hole.

Speaker 1:

The first first hole was a par five and I knocked it in and uh, I was playing with a buddy of mine and uh, yeah, I had two more Eagles on the front. So I think I shot 30 on the front that day. It was pretty cool.

Speaker 2:

Wow, well, I hope my son gets one before me. That's, that's. I will say yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's a hopefully you're playing with him when it happens.

Speaker 2:

That's that would be awesome well, it's funny, is that for all the golfers? I'm sorry we'll get back to that stuff, but like every time I think they're like oh, go in, go in, it's all over. You feel like it's good. I go up there, I'm like 20 feet. I know it's never close.

Speaker 1:

I know, yeah, the one I had. I was actually playing with um jim mclean who was a big teacher on the golf channel I. I was working at a golf course in Massachusetts and he came up to do a clinic and while the tournament was going on we ran to another course next door and we played in like two hours. So you know we're just running from hole to hole, but 17th hole I hit it and I could see it just kind of take the hill and go in and that was a pretty cool moment.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I, that's. I definitely want to be able to see it. I would love to be the one you know we got some pretty cool coals right play on my golf course and like there's one like the downhill par three where you can back it up and, yeah, go to see that. That'd be cool to see that going. But I'm, hey, I'm, I'm not gonna be.

Speaker 1:

I know I need to get another one. I'm overdue um.

Speaker 2:

So when you said goal setting, you definitely made me think of my kids. We did that a lot. We did that on New Year's Eve and we would set goals and it was so funny to see the things they'd write down and we'd have them. You know, they'd do it in front of their friends and then they would speak. They'd say, well, this is what I want to do, and we'd go around and just. It was so cute to just.

Speaker 2:

But I think that mindset I see it now with my kids. They still write stuff on their room. They still they have whiteboards and so I think they see my whiteboard behind me. You can't see it, but it's things I write down. I have a vision board over here to the right that I write down, and so I think I'm a big believer in mindset. You can manifest things, you can see it and believe it, and hence the word behind me Yep. And these are powerful things, just like the values your dad and mom taught you about. You know, treat people the way they want to be treated Seems pretty easy everybody. Yet we don't do it. Yeah, when you're a kid it's important, but you get into corporate. You can be an asshole to somebody, you can flip somebody off on the road, and we just choose negativity. But I think we all need to remember that our kids are watching us. A hundred percent, you know. Um, yeah, how did you, how did you know you wanted to become a golf professional? On point.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know what I wanted to do at a after high school, um, my brother moved West. He actually went from Maine to Arizona state, um, cause he wanted to go to a big school and I wanted to go to a party school. So he chose Arizona State, which is one of the biggest party schools there is. So he moved out west. But we had always kind of vacationed out here, just to kind of, because we love golf and we had some friends that were out here, so we kind of got a taste of it. But coming out of high school I was a a good golfer. We won the state championship. I was an all state golfer and um had some offers to play at some different courses or to some different colleges, um, but I decided, you know, it'd be kind of fun to be a teaching pro and be a golf pro. And so, uh, at the time there was only four schools in the country that had what's called a professional golf management program, which is basically you go through all the curriculum of the PGA to become a class A professional while you're doing all your school stuff. So it was almost like, and there was four schools, it was Penn State, mississippi State, ferris State, the small school in Michigan and New Mexico State. So I went and looked at New Mexico State. Mississippi State was out. I wasn't going to Mississippi nothing against Mississippi but it would be a culture shock for me. New Mexico State was in the middle of nowhere. Las Cruces, new Mexico, that was out. And Penn State was close enough to home where I could get home if I needed to. It was a 10-hour drive. It was a big school, great sports school, and so that's where I decided to go.

Speaker 1:

I only applied to one college and I got in and, yeah, I just decided you know what this is, how I want to start my career. I did it for a few years and I always joke that it was a fun experience. I got to work at some great courses. I worked at Pinehurst in 99 when Payne Stewart won the open. Um, I have, you know, been to the masters a bunch of times, so it was a. It was just a if. If you're a golf fan, it's kind of fun to be in the golf business for a little while. But you know I hit that burnout. You know I gave 2,500 lessons one year, which is like 10 to 15 lessons a day for a year and you just I just got tired of it. You work long hours, you know you don't make very much money and sadly you don't usually get to play a lot of golf.

Speaker 1:

Um so, um, but it was a fun career, kind of a good starting point and and, uh, you know, I moved away from that after about four years yeah, I definitely I.

Speaker 2:

I see that. Shout out to greg manly um, manly's um buddy of mine, former former. He's our gm former club pro at a place called merding valley where I play, and um, now he's the head of the kingdom at taylor made um, and uh, he's been, he's a former guest. I was able to spend time down at taylor made and did a work. Some work with them from a speaking perspective was absolute blast, but that was one of his reasons. Why he went out too is because of um. I mean sure other reasons, but I think you just get burned out and you can't um, it looks like, oh, this must be fun. You're always in the golf course, but you're. It's like that's the last place you want to be after.

Speaker 1:

Exactly After doing it.

Speaker 2:

As you think about your when you got married and you know you said something about your, your wife now and some difficult challenges with her upbringing. How much did you learn the skill of empathy in dealing with that?

Speaker 1:

journey. I'm still learning that. You know, I think men and women are obviously see things differently, like I'm a fixer. If she tells me a problem, I'm, you know, instead of sympathizing with her, I'm usually trying to fix it, like let me solve the problem. Right, that's what I, that's how I think I'm. I'm trying to be better at just listening, uh, and understanding and just being there for her.

Speaker 1:

And, um, you know, luckily there's some funny TV shows that we watched where it kind of gives some examples of like we love modern family with, uh, you know, the Dunphy's and and, uh, uh, there's one episode where Phil goes into a, a nail salon, and it's like 20 women surrounding him and he's like, so, so when my wife tells me she has a problem, I'm not supposed to fix it, and all the women are like no, no, you just need to listen. He's like, so she starts, you know, spouting off all of her problems and he just starts listening and starts empathizing with her. Um, so I'm a work in progress when it comes to that, um, I like to think I'm a good listener and sounding board, but I'm still a fixer at heart and want to try to solve the problem. But I try to you know, understand people's feelings and and know kind of what they're going through and put myself in their shoes.

Speaker 2:

I'm sure there's many dads at home that they can learn from this part of the conversation. So I got taught this, this, this way of questioning called TED-based questions, which stands for tell me, explain, describe. And it is absolute. They're like cheat codes and video games, and so I practice on my kids, I practice with my wife, but it helps me me be more present, helps me be more genuine. So it's like, yeah, tell me more. The number of times I've said, oh, I'm sorry, sorry, honey, tell me more about that. She's never said Casey, I'll go after yourself, I don't want to keep talking about me. I don't want to keep talking. I mean, and it's, it's like absolute goals and with younger kids, you know, tell me two things about your day that you liked versus how was your day Good dad.

Speaker 1:

We'll just go with nothing. And it's, it's. It teaches like follow-up skills. So tell me more about that. I'll describe why it would be like that and so, um, maybe something to try with. Yeah, definitely, definitely your wife. Yeah, because it's so hard to pull, I could I pick up my son from school. How was your day? It's good. What'd you guys?

Speaker 2:

do nothing right. One word answers it's hard.

Speaker 1:

It's hard to hard to pull stuff out of them sometimes yeah, exactly, tell me one reason why it was good yeah, I was like dad, come on, dad, yeah, right exactly um, I mean empathy's.

Speaker 2:

Empathy is a um. I'm a competitive person and so I think this journey of podcasting we're in season five, as I mentioned, 260 something dads, thank you everybody who's who've been with journey with me and so I feel like every dad I talk to, adam it's free therapy yeah you're reminding me about what's most important. I think you said something earlier that I love. You say the quote again about business and life. Your life revolves around your business.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, Build your business around your life, not your life around your business.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's fantastic. I feel like I'm living that now. I was a corporate guy for 20 years, 25 years actually.

Speaker 2:

But, now the flexibility to do what I'm doing and I feel like this is my calling from coaching. Speaking author. You know, podcast world it's and like today's perfect example I'm going to be, it's going to be a watershed day with uh, with taking my son off to college and just being here and I'm not stuck in a and I'm so grateful for that. And I know and I and I I'm big into the word humility and vulnerability and so I know that that's everybody else doesn't get that opportunity, but I'm very grateful that the stage of life and so when you said that, like hit me right in the heart, cause I was like that spoke to me and I'm sure spoke to other parents at home.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I try to, like I get up super early and you know I'm up by usually four, 30 in the morning, cause I can have a couple hours of time before my wife gets up and my little guy gets up and I'm done by two, 30 or three o'clock every day, cause once he gets home I'm not going to be in my office, I'm not going to be on zoom calls, I'm going to be present with him and and do fun things with him and and, you know, just be there. Um, so that's kind of how I structure my day. Is someone wants to meet with me at four or five o'clock? It would be a. It'd be pretty rare, um, cause I try to have that family time and not be distracted by work.

Speaker 2:

Tell me how you stay um diligent and um consistent with that Cause I think I think a lot of parents will say that, but then something happens. Or I mean, maybe give dads advice at home for how you do that.

Speaker 1:

I just started. I mean, I think the key was I just started doing it. Now we have two cats that we rescued, so they got used to me waking up at four, four, 30. So now if I am not up they're in my face, you know, kind of smacking me because they are so used to being fed that early in the morning. So that helps me get up when they jump on top of me.

Speaker 1:

But just, I think, once you start to get in the habit of it and the routine of it, having those couple hours in the morning where I can read for half an hour and have a cup of coffee, I can go for a walk, I can go to the gym, I can meditate, I can kind of plan my day. I try not to check my email for the first couple hours, um, so I can have some time just to focus on me. That way I'm not getting up late and rushing, you know, rushing him to school and rushing around the house, and just my day just starts. When it starts better, like that, the entire day goes better, and so and I'm a morning person- you know my wife's not so much.

Speaker 1:

She's a night a night owl, so she'll be up reading till midnight and you know I'm getting up a few hours later. But you know, I think with any new habit you just have to you know, if you're kind of stuck in your routine and your comfort zone break free, do something completely different than what you're used to doing. And once you start doing it, you know it becomes just ingrained and you know now my natural clock. I'm up, you know, without an alarm. And you know, add it every morning. Wow, even on weekends I don't sleep in. I mean, when we go to a hotel and the cats aren't waking me up, I might sleep till six or seven, but that's, I can't sleep past that. I mean my, my body saying get up and go after it. So I think you just kind of get used to it.

Speaker 2:

Have you read atomic habits by James Clear? I have. It's been a while, but I need to go back and reread it. Yeah, it's a good book. It's again you can get really good at towards the end. It's funny how, my a lot of the work, I've talked to other dads, or even like my business, where we talk about mindset and controlling your mind and you know tools that many people teach. But it's so funny how, when I've wired my mind where if I, if I have, you know, let's say, we stay out a little later than we should have a little fun that next morning I either have a choice to either sleep until 8, 8, 30, or get up and work out, or get up and take a walk, or get up, do something. And my mind's like if I, if I, if I, if I don't stay consistent, I'm gonna go down that wrong path. And I'm so. And that's like even when I do my gratitude work in the morning, I have a journal that I write about. I write about that and to just further cements it.

Speaker 1:

I actually um.

Speaker 1:

So I started posting content daily on LinkedIn. Um, uh, and we can, I'll share a little bit more about what we do at the end, but I've never been one to kind of share regularly content. I'm not a big social media guy like Facebook. I'll post stuff about family and stuff, but I'm not trying to run business on Facebook, but with LinkedIn.

Speaker 1:

I started to do these postings every day and the guy I'm learning from says people need to get to know you, they need to have that trust factor and feel like, okay, I can relate to this guy. So a post I actually just created that well, I'll share next week talks about gratitude and waking up with that attitude of gratitude, and one of the things I put in there was someone out there is praying for the life that you have right now and you need to appreciate what you have in pursuit of what you want Right. So I think so many times we focus on I don't have this, I don't have that, but there are millions and millions of people out there that are in much worse shape that I think we need to just get some perspective sometime.

Speaker 2:

So true, man, I think that's, um, it's easy to be the victim of our own story. That's also be the hero of your own story and I think, um, that's it's really good advice for for people to think about. Like, um, you know, I, I've, I've, I've seen, um, this is kind of a sad thing. I've had friends lose wives before the age of 40. This is kind of a sad thing. I've had friends lose wives before the age of 40. I've, I had. Recently my son's, buddy's dad had a heart attack, 50 years old, out of nowhere. So, like my, a bad day for me. Let's say whatever it is. I mean, we're out, we're breathing, right, and so, like, even when I do grad to work, I say God, thanks for waking me up today. Yeah, it's still still. I mean, some of my people say that might be corny, but I'm breathing today. Yeah, have you read two chairs?

Speaker 1:

no, um, I think it's bob bodine who wrote it. Basically, what he talks about is every morning, you should start your your your morning with the conversation with god right, have a, have a space in your house and, whether or not you're religious, you know, call it higher power, call it whatever you want to call it, but, um, I believe there's a higher power universe. That's kind of you know that you can tap into and and um connect with, but he says basically have a conversation every morning Um you know, have a chair that's just for him to sit and you're sitting in your normal spot and just have a conversation back and forth.

Speaker 1:

It's really interesting when you start to do that on a regular basis.

Speaker 3:

Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, ceo of Tier 4 Group, a women owned and diversity certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the US. At Tier 4 Group, relationships are at the heart of everything we do, whether it's with our clients, our candidates, our vendor partners or with each other. Our mission is to go beyond transactions and create long-lasting partnerships. We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent, and that starts with truly understanding our clients and candidates. It's not just about filling roles, it's about fostering success for the long-term. This is the recipe for success that's landed us on the Inc 5000 six consecutive years and has us outpacing our competition across the country, and I'm thrilled to support Casey Jaycox's podcast.

Speaker 3:

Casey's philosophy aligns perfectly with ours, prioritizing relationships over transactions. His insights on building trust, empathy and connection resonate deeply with the way we do business at Tier 4 Group. We were honored to have Casey as our keynote at our 2024 kickoff, and all of our new hires read his book Win the Relationship, not the Deal, when they start here with us. So if you're looking for a partner who values relationships as much as results, visit us at tier4groupcom or connect with me, betsy Robinson, directly on LinkedIn and, while you're at it, keep tuning into Casey's podcast. You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally. And, as Casey always says, stay curious.

Speaker 1:

What comes in your head, what thoughts come in your head, what questions you ask, what answers you get. It's fascinating, wow.

Speaker 2:

Is Bob O'Dean? Is he? Was he? Was he like a recruiter for athletic directors?

Speaker 1:

I don't know his background, it was. So I had a call with a guy, had a great call and it was. You know, it was a prospecting call but it turned into just a just a great connecting call. Um, and he said he said I want you to read this book, and anytime someone says that I kind of take that as a hint that there's a reason. And he said he said I want you to read this book, and anytime someone says that I kind of take that as a hint that there's a reason why. He said that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah it was by Bob Odeen, yeah, but he told me to read it and I read it and I showed it to my wife, I shared it with her and she read it too and she's like that was amazing. She's like one of the best books I've ever read.

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm writing it down. When I get down to that I will follow back up with you. Yeah, definitely, I love reading. I just read a book called Turn the Ship Around by David Marquette, which is about. It's a fantastic book. It's really kind of hits my one of my superpowers I like to unlock, which is curiosity. It talks about how he turned like a nuclear leadership model, how he just turned this like nuclear submarine. That was not doing too good from a culture perspective and he thinks he talks about a leader leader model versus a leader follower. You know so, just as relating to debt, fatherhood, we can keep telling our kids what to do. Hey, do this, do that, do this. But if we ask questions to make what we want them to do, their idea, and create what he calls deliberate action, create, you know, create them, give them the tools to go do what we can do. Now. That just isn't just going to miraculously happen. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So but I wrote that down for sure, as you think about your, the things that are most important to you and your wife in raising your nine-year-old son um, what are, what are? What are a couple of couple of? Um you know must haves or like it really into your childhood. Earlier asked, but like what are a couple um values that like are like stapled in your current household.

Speaker 1:

Um, yeah, work hard, be a, be a, be a positive. You know, role model. Um, I think we have done a good job of raising him so far. We could always do better, but we told him you want you to be friends with everybody. Not everybody's going to be your friend, but we want you to be the person that helps the person that has Down syndrome at school and hold the door open for someone, say thank you, say please, so just kind of being polite, being a good person. You know, having confidence in himself I think is important as well. But right now he's kind of at the stage where you know we want him just be a good person at school, be a hard worker, be a good listener, be a good student, be a good friend. And that's that's our main goal with him right now is just to instill that confidence. And we want him to be the kid at now is just to instill that confidence and we want him to be the kid at school that everybody wants to be friends with.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's good. It's relationships, man. I think many people don't slow down to teach how relationships are built. That's something I'm very, very passionate about. It's not just a skill you miraculously learn how to do. You have to understand. What does it mean to be nice? No-transcript? Um, um, what's what's been the hardest, hardest part of fatherhood for you?

Speaker 1:

Ooh, that's a good question. Um, probably trying to make him more self-sufficient. I think, uh, you know we do a lot of things for him, right. I think his parents you know, lisa, as I was growing up, my mom did everything for me, right. So we want them to become a little bit more self-reliant and and start to do things on their own. Now he's at the age where he should be getting up and doing his homework. He should be getting up and doing his reading without me having to ask him to do it. Um, so just giving him a little bit more, um, self-control and power over his life and making sure he makes the choices, and it's not just mom and dad telling him what to do.

Speaker 2:

Yep, many parents are going to deal with that. Um, we dealt with that, um I. You know, one of the biggest gifts COVID gave us was it was a little punch in the face like, wow, we are doing way too much for our kids. Yeah, um, now our kids are like short order cooks. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, um, one of the books that helped me through that um, it's turning into a little book club here. Buddy is a book written by a guy named swen nader who wrote the book. You've not taught until they have learned I like that title.

Speaker 2:

And he's a former podcast guest. He's a Seattle guy. He played basketball for a guy you might have heard of, a guy named John Wooden.

Speaker 2:

Okay yeah, yeah, his story is unbelievable. He literally I mean John Wooden was recruiting him and he said and Swann at the time was one of the top basketball players in the nation. He said, come play for me, but you're not going to play at all, but I guarantee I'll get you to the NBA. He played behind a guy you might have heard named Bill Walton. Rest in peace. And he just so. A lot of his book he wrote about a lot of the principles were from his lessons from Wooden.

Speaker 2:

I was like I'm reading that oh, that's gonna be amazing yeah yeah, and so it's like again, dads and moms, we want to empower our kids to do these things and shoot. I'm far from perfect there, but, like, I think it's having the mindset that you're that's something it's so like. Now you say it, but how do we go do it right? Yeah, you know and like, and which requires patience, which is one of my weaknesses, you know, um, as you think about like, I always like to ask this question for dads. Like an area, your dad game, um, that maybe you know it's not the best right now that, um, that you like god, I had to get better at that like, for me, it definitely is. I didn't want to be the the freak out dad. Sometimes my dad, my dad passed away and unfortunately, 2021, um, my dad could drop the most amazing goddammit's at me as a kid and they made me laugh so hard and sometimes that would make him more mad yeah god damn it.

Speaker 2:

Casey and me and my sister would laugh and, uh, but patience, patience was his gap and it's just, it's almost like using your breath to like slow down. Um, so, as I'm leading my witness here, tell me what would be an area of your dad game that you're constantly still working on.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm a I'm a big jokester, my dad's a big jokester, Um, my son's a big jokester, where we literally all look alike and we sound alike and we talk alike and we act alike. But I think sometimes that can come across as, uh, maybe we take it sometimes too far with mom because mom's the only female in the house with three boys and, um, you know, my brother and his family, it's all boys, so there's there's literally no girls in the house. So sometimes I think it can come across as a little bit, you know not maybe criticizing or or um, poking a little bit too much fun at mom. Um, we do it and you know we do it out of love, because we like to make her laugh. But I think, uh, I think we could work on that and make sure that, hey, listen, just because we think it's funny doesn't doesn't mean that mom or other people are going to think it's funny. So, um, still working on that with them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because I have to lead by example, right? So I like to have fun and mess around and joke around, but I think sometimes it just comes across the wrong way.

Speaker 2:

That's a good one, I think. Class Clown. I've checked that box as well and you think it's funny. But then I think it goes back to maybe this thing you're working on with your wife is empathy. It's like having empathy for others that, yeah, like that joke might not be, but like so do you. Do you then take the responsibility of apologizing or do you just like let it go?

Speaker 1:

And yeah, no, usually I catch myself and I'm like that was I shouldn't have said that. I apologize. So yeah, I'm starting to catch myself a little bit more. But I am sure, as far as the empathy goes now, she, my wife, when I, when I, I, when I do this though she kind of just shrugs it off and laughs because she can tell I'm like using a technique on her, like when she says, um, something like like this morning she had a headache. And I was like, isn't it so frustrating when you have a headache and there's just not much you can do for it? Right, it's like, instead of me just running and getting her an ice pack, right when she looks at me, she's like give me one of those looks Really, you're going to empathize with me now. She's like just be you. Work in progress always.

Speaker 2:

There we go. Talk to me about how you transitioned from being a golf pro to what you're doing now.

Speaker 1:

That was many years ago. That was probably 20 years ago was when I left the golf business. I had an opportunity to I was living in Denver at the time. I was bartending a night golf pro during the day, so I was working like 78 hours a week. My brother actually started working for a motivational speaker and an opportunity opened up where I could travel with my brother and the speaker and just do seminars. And so I decided to move to Arizona and take that role and so that kind of got me into the whole personal development space, self-improvement.

Speaker 1:

We worked with him for about five years and then found our way into a network marketing company. Never thought I was ever going to join one of those. I actually posted something on LinkedIn today about that. That was kind of the start of my entrepreneurial journey, did that for a number of years and then just got burned out. I mean, just got tired of the grind and I got recruited to work for a network marketing company on the corporate side. So I'd never really had a job job, but I took that we had just had Hudson this was nine years ago and I was there for a few years and I got laid off out of the blue, and I had a friend of mine that reached out and said, hey, you know, you've been in networking and sales your entire life.

Speaker 1:

I have a new startup. I need some help generating some business. Can you help me? That's how I found my way into doing the work that we're doing now, and now, almost seven years later, I've been working from home. It's so much better, the lifestyle I mean. When I was working the corporate job I had to drive an hour each way to work. I was on the road traveling probably 10 days a month, so I was missing a lot of stuff. And you know I had to leave the house at seven in the morning. I wouldn't be back till six. And so now you know, like we talk about building your business around your life, I'm able to do that. I'm so grateful to be able to wake up and have time with my son in the morning and not have to rush off to work. Um, I can take him to school. I can go to lunch with my wife if I want to. Um, I can pick them up every day. So, um, that's kind of how my career has progressed.

Speaker 1:

It's you know, I went to school to be a golf pro. I'm not doing anything with that anymore. I think a lot of people go to school with one thing in mind and just be. You know, don't make plans, because God has a funny way of laughing at you when you try to make plans and things change. Um, but uh, yeah, it's been an interesting journey.

Speaker 2:

Um, so tell us about your company.

Speaker 1:

So we started uh, so it's. It's called Ninja prospecting. So we do a lot of work with coaches, consultants, speakers, authors A lot of people just need help generating more conversations, column conversations, column leads, column opportunities. We're really good at kind of crafting what's the right approach strategy to start more of those conversations in a way that focuses on adding value and building relationships, versus just connecting and pitching and selling, which is what a lot of people do, and so that's our focus is helping a lot of the coaches and consultants out there start more conversations, naturally, and build a pipeline of potential opportunities for now or in the future. So we do a lot of work mainly on. Linkedin is kind of where we play.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's funny, that's awesome, that's good for you guys. It's unfortunate that many people still don't understand that the number of people that I'm sure you get it. They reach out and they can solve all my problems. Yet they've not asked me any questions. Exactly, it's like I'm not connecting with you, dude. There's a great dude named John Morris who I just connected to. He's got a great podcast Former guest shout out to him. He literally just does the same thing. It's like, no, I'm not answering you. And so again, it's funny how, um, our, uh, a good old friend named voltaire shout out to him back in the you know what 1500s he said a man is not judged by his answers but by his, by his questions. So like there were learning, teaching, curiosity back then. Yet we still don't understand it, which blows my mind.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, it's. And if you approach someone the right, the way I like to approach it is if I approach somebody the right way, you know, ask the right question. I don't make any assumptions. I ask permission. If I approach someone the right way, even if there's not a need, I keep the door open for a future conversation. It's like asking someone to marry you on the first date. You don't. You can't backtrack and then ask them to go on a date right, if I come at you too hard, too fast, too soon, there's no trust, there's no credibility, there's no relationship, and so that approach doesn't work anymore. On social media, you have to be a little bit more strategic and focus on adding value first before, before you ask someone for something. But asking the right questions is key.

Speaker 2:

Well, I think it's how you and I are here today. I think your dad, because he works with you he reached out, saw me somehow. We had a short conversation which kind of led to this, which it's funny. I never thought in my wildest dreams having a podcast would generate like speaking opportunities or coaching, but it is definitely a biz dev tool. I still don't use it that way. My goal is definitely to I want to become a better dad, I want to talk to dads, I want to like create space for us to like be vulnerable, be humble, be you know, working on curiosity, working on empathy, like things we've been, we've talked about today, and but it's it's. It's just interesting how, when it, when it's organically, when it happens organically. Yeah, that's awesome. I love the uh.

Speaker 1:

I do a lot of podcasts. I don't do a lot of podcasts that are focused on I haven't done anyone that's just focused on being a dad. So I appreciate, uh appreciate you doing this. I think it's going to help a lot of people I'm sure it already has.

Speaker 2:

Oh, appreciate that, dude. Okay, so we're to wrap up and summarize what we've talked about today. The dads can take, you know maybe we'll call it two or three actionable things they can take from what we've talked about today that they can maybe look themselves in the mirror and really self-evaluate. What are some areas you know that they can say, man, these are areas I can work on to become a better dad. Based on what we've talked about today, adam, tell me what comes to mind.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I, you know, like like we talked about, you know, always trying to work on myself and be the best version of myself, Cause, like you said, kids are watching, even when you don't think that they are.

Speaker 1:

Um, yeah, and I want to look in the mirror and and be proud of who I am, because I know if I'm proud of who I am, then that's gonna, that's gonna translate to my son seeing me that way and and kind of learning from me, and I want to be a good role model for him. Um, I want to show him how to treat people, how to respect people, um, how to work hard, how to, you know, be a good member of, you know, of your school and society and, um, have empathy for people that aren't so fortunate. Um, but I think, just the you know the lessons that I learned growing up of you know work harder on yourself than you do on your job. You know is something that Jim Rohn said that has always stuck with me that if I work on myself and try to get a little bit better every single day, you know my son's probably watching me and seeing. Okay, I want to be like dad and that's my goal.

Speaker 2:

Gold Love it man. Simple stuff, that, if you that. But very complex, everybody. But if you really slow down and give yourself space. I can't wait to read this book. Two chairs I'm going to definitely read that. It's amazing what clarity comes from your life when, when you work on these types of things and the being present and and what, and and what you said don't let your you know, don't let your job define you, don't let it drive, drive you like, do the opposite. What adam talks about. I think it's such going and and we can either tell yourself why I can't do that must be nice bullshit. Anybody can do this. Yeah, ask for help, reach out to somebody, be vulnerable, um. So I think, I think what you said is freaking spot on, dude, I love it. Um, how can people find you? How can I make sure that we uh, we get people there? If they are a coach, a consultant, they want to learn how to you know, learn more about ninja prospecting.

Speaker 1:

Tell me what's the best place to send them yeah, either connect with me on linkedin or ninja prospectingcom. Tons of info there and um, yeah, that's the easiest way to find me cool.

Speaker 2:

we'll make sure that's linked in the show notes. It's now time to go on what I call the lightning round. Uh, these are when I ask you random questions, of showing you the the negative hits of too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits the quarterback position. That's an uncle rico moment right there. Uh, your job is to answer them quickly and my job is to try to get a giggle out of you. Okay, okay, true or false. You call your wife Madonna with meatballs. False. Okay, we both laugh. That's a tie, true or false. You have a crush on Mrs Haven camp. True.

Speaker 1:

I love old people Mrs.

Speaker 2:

Haven camera. Buddy is a character from Caddyshack.

Speaker 1:

I'd love to do it.

Speaker 2:

That's a peach hon. Oh golly, I'm hot today. If I was to go into your phone right now, what would be the one song that all your clients would be surprised you listen to?

Speaker 1:

Oh man, I listen to all my son's playlists right now because he's addicted to music, loves it so, but I like to uh. Oh man, let me think of a good song. I know it's supposed to be quick answer. You know my, my walk-up song when I was uh doing a lot speaking was uh, hansen. Um, yeah, solid, solid choice. I have the most random music taste 80s music, ballads, old school rap.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, pretty random. I love old school rap. I've been doing a lot of Biggie recently, yeah yeah, that's awesome. I love some Biggie. If I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?

Speaker 1:

Oh, what are we having tonight? I don't know. My wife is an awesome cook, so I told her last night.

Speaker 2:

she needs to make her lasagna again. She's italian, so, um. But yeah, she made meatloaf the other night. She makes just about everything. Oh, I know she's so good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, we, we eat very well here very good um lowest golf round ever is 65 jesus I shot 67 last weekend, though, so I was pretty happy with that. So uh took my uh two step-sons out and I still had to teach them a lesson, so took him to the woodshed yeah well done.

Speaker 2:

Um, if you were to go on a vacation right now, where are you and your wife going?

Speaker 1:

no kids oh, no, kids, where are we going? Uh, we would go to hawaii maui, stay on the beach love it.

Speaker 2:

yeah, um, and then last, actually before I ask the last question if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.

Speaker 1:

I actually wrote a book um that I haven't published yet. It's called the caddy master. Uh, kind of a a uh, a story about, kind of my evolution and entrepreneurship.

Speaker 2:

But, um, yeah, I'd say the caddy master, yeah, okay, yeah so, caddy master, once it gets out there, people are gonna love it. It's gonna be selling out of every bookstore, every airport. But now netflix has found it and they want to make a movie out of it, and you're the casting director. I need to know who's gonna star you in caddy master matt damon solid choice, maddie d all right. And then last question tell me two words that describe your wife.

Speaker 1:

Boy gorgeous and sweet.

Speaker 2:

There we go, gorgeous and sweet, landing round's over. We both giggle. I laughed at my own joke, so I'm going to give you the dub. This has been a blast getting to know you, adam, grateful that you guys found me. I'm grateful that you spent some time this morning to talk about fatherhood and I found me, and I'm grateful that you spent some time this morning to talk about fatherhood. And hope everybody have a page of notes.

Speaker 2:

I do, and, um, if this episode has touched you any way or impacted how you think, please share it with others. Um, if you have not subscribed, please subscribe so you get episodes every Thursday morning. And, lastly, if you've not taken time to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcast, please do that. That would mean the world to us and there's ways you think we can be. We can be better. Or if there's a guest in mind, please reach out to us. I'm very active on LinkedIn myself. You can also find us through CaseyJaycoxcom slash podcast. But, adam, a blast getting to know you. I really, really appreciate you and I hope to have a chance to play some golf with you soon.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. Have a great day today with your son too. Thanks, man.