The Quarterback DadCast
I’m Casey Jacox, the host of the Quarterback Dadcast. As fathers, we want to help prepare our kids—not only to enter the professional world but to thrive in each stage of their lives. Guests of this show include teachers, coaches, professional athletes, consultants, business owners, authors—and stay-at-home dads. Just like you! They share openly about failure, success, laughter, and even sadness so that we can all learn from each other—as we strive to become the best leaders of our homes! You will learn each week, and I am confident you will leave each episode with actionable tasks that you can apply to your life to become that ultimate Quarterback and leader of your household. Together, we will learn from the successes and failures of dads who are doing their best every day. So, sit back, relax and subscribe now to receive each episode weekly on The Quarterback Dadcast.
The Quarterback DadCast
Navigating Fatherhood: Raising a Teen and a Toddler with Brian Brown
Today's guest, Brian Brown, comes to us from two former guests on the podcast, Mark Agostinelli and Tom Kosnik. Brian and I shared a panel discussion, and we quickly realized that we shared similar passions for sales, leadership, and life as a dad!
Brian Brown shares his fatherhood journey as he navigates the different challenges and rewards of raising a teenager and a toddler. Reflecting on his experiences, he emphasizes the importance of patience, connection, and empathy as fundamental pillars in nurturing relationships with his children, providing listeners with insightful lessons on parenting across generations.
• Gratitude reflections on parenting and different ages of children
• The importance of connection and empathy in parenting
• Reconnecting with his teenage daughter through shared activities
• Insights on co-parenting and the lessons learned from past experiences
• Key values learned from his parents that he applies today
• Embracing the journey of nurturing a young child with enthusiasm
• Advice for dads on being present and engaged with their children
• Insight into the work of the Summerlin Advisory Group and Brian's mission
• Closing thoughts on the essence of fatherhood through all life’s transitions
Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show. Hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast. Welcome to season six, and I could not be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes and conversations really unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads. If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple. It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home. So let's sit back, relax and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast. Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast. What feels fantastic to say is we're in season six, which is one I can't believe that. I'm saying out loud what we are. We are fully booked with episodes into next year, everybody, which feels great. You're seeing us on video now, which is on YouTube If you're listening to the car, the gym, a walk, wherever you are. Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 2:Our next guest is an Aztec. He comes to us from the Vices group who I met, the one and only Tommy Kosnick. We both were on a panel together and we realized we got a lot in common. We think a lot. In a lot of ways we laugh our asses off and help some people. His name is Brian Brown and since 1996, this guy's been a beast in the staffing and consulting industry. From any role you can think of he's done it. He's now the founder of the Summerlin Group, the advisory group, where he's doing consulting work, leadership work, sales work, kind of a Swiss army knife per se for businesses in the staffing industry, and probably other recruiting elements as well. But we'll learn all about that. But more importantly, we got Brian on. Today Everybody talk about Brian the dad and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household. So further ado, mr Brown, welcome to the quarterback dad guest.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. And the beast, or there's probably a few other names that I've been called out there. Who knows Beauty, beauty and the beast.
Speaker 2:I might go into song if we start doing that Right. Get the vocals warmed up.
Speaker 1:You got to know these animated videos.
Speaker 2:Right? Well, we always start out with gratitude on the podcast, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
Speaker 1:on the podcast. So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today? You know I'm very blessed in a very unique way with the years of difference of my children. So I've got a 25-year-old daughter, soon to be 26, and a three-year-old son, soon to be four in the coming year, and I think it's a very unique and very precious gift as a dad to see things from two different perspective. As a young father that's, you know, trying to get a career going and focus on 18 different things at once. You know, you know, with my daughter when I was 27 years old, versus now in my life with a four year old, where things have slowed down and you pay a little more attention and you, you listen more and you connect more, I'm very gracious and feel very grateful to be in a situation that God blessed me with a little guy at this age out of the blue, to kind of kick me back into gears and remind me what I'm here for.
Speaker 2:There you go, man. Well, I'm going to fight my curiosity because I want to learn all about that. But for me I'm grateful for a couple of things. One I'm grateful for high school basketball season. I love watching my daughter compete. It's so much fun. I get inspired by watching her compete. She's a scrappy. I feel like she never gets tired. I don't know where she gets out from, because I was in football. I got. I played for seven seconds, then I would rest in the huddle. She just competes. I love 9-11 and Spire Bear. I'm grateful also. Right now we're recording everybody in December this episode will come out in a month or so my son's home from college. I'm grateful for the time I get with him. He'll be home for another month or so.
Speaker 2:I just enjoy enjoy the laughter in the room and he just sent me a Snapchat which I'm on Snapchat and everybody 48 year old I'm still young, kind of but he, just he sent me a Snapchat. All jacked up, he, he eagled a par four, he's playing golf in like 35 degree weather.
Speaker 3:And he's all.
Speaker 1:That is awesome.
Speaker 2:So well, cool. Well, let's bring us inside the brown huddle. Okay, bring me inside. So we got who's playing quarterback, who's the general manager and talk about both children for a little bit, and also how you and your wife met.
Speaker 1:Sure. So my wife and I will start with that because it's kind of interesting I got married very young, so right out of actually I was still in college A year after I graduated college got married, had my daughter and there was, interestingly enough, a 11 year age gap between myself and my wife at that time. So it was it was a you know, just a whole hodgepodge of kind of me starting a career and she had been well into a career and I think it was a really perspective shifter of you know the hustle that I was kind of ramping up with and her establishment. I think it kind of we crossed paths very uniquely, probably after our seven years of marriage, and we decided to get divorced and we co-parented my daughter every week. We, you know, split time 50-50. My daughter was just an absolute, just gem growing up. I mean I think dads and daughters, I'm sure you have that same thing. It's like you know your little velcro. They're your biggest cheerleader and the in, the hugs and the just you know graciousness they bring to you every morning. So I think it helped both my ex-wife and myself kind of build a unique parenting bond because she was so applicable to help us kind of manage that separation of state.
Speaker 1:And you know, with me traveling, with work and kind of growing a business and doing things and coming back home and you know it was tough but we did it and I spent many, many years single and stayed focused on business and a couple of years before the pandemic I met my wife now on the lines and we got married and COVID hit. And you know, I mean what do you do with COVID? You get a 12 pack of beer and hang out by the pool. And and you know I mean what do you do with COVID? You get a 12 pack of beer and hang out by the pool. And next thing, you know, you know, here comes a little brewer into the world and we decided to kind of engage a little different lifestyle.
Speaker 1:We were both born and raised in Poway. My daughter rode horses her entire life. So at one point we had five horses on the ranch and when she went off to college and then went to grad school et cetera, the horses had to get sold because I wasn't going to take care of them anymore. So we had this huge two and a half acre ranch. We're like we need to slow down. We need to look at things from a little different perspective. We don't need all of this, this. So we actually packed up and moved to Vegas and we've been out here in Vegas for the last two years and, you know, went from a 5,000 square foot house down to a 2,000 square foot house and we just love it. We love kind of getting minimalized and getting a little more focused on family. So we talk about quarterbacking.
Speaker 1:I would say, uniquely, I think I've kind of taken a little bit of a step back in the quarterbacking these days. I think my wife is a very intelligent, passionate woman. She is a fantastic mother. I think there's a lot of shared plays that we call together. But I've learned to kind of let go a little bit and it's a new perspective from being single really and kind of being a co-parent with an ex-wife and making every decision about yourself and keeping every need about yourself, and then three days a week you're playing dad because you're there and you have to be there, versus now at this age, it's like I get to pick him up from preschool every day and spend time with him and have conversations with him and I let her kind of kind of drive the ship these days. It's kind of a new perspective. I'm not. I wasn't used to it at first, but I dig it. It's kind of fun.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. And what is the name's? Brewer? You said Brewer. Yeah, Fantastic name.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:I wanted to call him Brewster, but she's like I can't be calling him Punky Brewster.
Speaker 2:running around the house I'm like oh all right, you could call him Brewski, he's got every nickname Casey.
Speaker 1:I mean it's Brewster Brewster, brewski Brew, little Brew, baby Brew. I mean it's Brewster Brewster, brewski Brew, little Brew, baby Brew.
Speaker 2:I mean it's yeah, he's a hoot. There we go. Well before we dive in to what you just shared, I always like learning more about my guests, about what was life like for you growing up, and talk about the journey that you and the impact your parents had on you and what were some of the key lessons you learned through that journey. Now that you're a dad maybe the first time. Now the second time.
Speaker 1:Sure. So family-wise. Born and raised in San Diego, california, my father was a United States Marine Corps drill instructor at MCRD in San Diego. So my mother never worked, never drove a car, never cursed, never had an ounce of alcohol. She was about as June Cleaver as June Cleaver could be Just a fantastic. Took care of myself and my brother, you know.
Speaker 1:And my dad worked two jobs. You know he left school in the eighth grade, worked in a coal mine in Kentucky and Ohio steel mills and his mother signed him up for the Marine Corps when he was 17 years old because she knew that the family was not going the right direction. He was the oldest kid and she wanted him to get something out of life and she signed him up early to join the Marines. He flew out to San Diego, started his journey as a Marine Corps vet and you know I think he built a commitment in a life that you know was going to be family first and he was. He wasn't always there. You know he worked two jobs. I mean it was. You know he was out the door at four in the morning. He came home at 10 o'clock at night and you know my mom kind of, you know he was out the door at four in the morning. He came home at 10 o'clock at night and you know my mom kind of, you know ran, ran the house, we would see him on the weekends. 11 years difference between my brother and I. I think my brother spent a lot of his I think teenage and young 20s kind of filling the role of father figure for me, because my dad was working and you know, bless his heart, you know that. You know the guy put food on the table and shoes on her feet and you know we got a vacation every year and you know he was, he was always there in spirit but you know it was. It was an interesting time because it was like I had a 20 year old father basically when I was a kid, showing up me to baseball games and, you know, doing things like that. So my brother and I had a unique relationship in that capacity.
Speaker 1:And then my mother got sick and she came down with Parkinson's disease when she was 37 years old. Yeah, wow, yeah, and pretty traumatic, quickly I mean. She went from you know very vibrant walk everywhere, you know woman to you know basically not being able to get out of a chair, you know at 42, 43 years old kind of a, I guess, an experimental surgery where they put implants into her brain and almost like ran a wire down her neck to like a pacemaker that would shoot electrical currents up in her head, and it was a godsend. It put her back into functional life for a good probably 15 years and then it just stopped working. So when she became immobile my dad quit his job, kind of retired, at 54 years old.
Speaker 1:I was finishing up high school playing baseball was put in a kind of a cool situation. I know, you know you played college sports and I got drafted to play minor league baseball out of high school did that and you know my dad took care of my mom and it was this unique commitment of you know family and it was. It was cool to see that he was first and foremost. You know it's not money, it's not job, it's not anything other than that's my wife. So it was cool to see.
Speaker 2:Wow, what was the second job your dad did when he was in the Marine Corps?
Speaker 1:So he left the Marine Corps and he became a printer. So he worked for General Dynamics out of the Marine Corps, doing running print machines, so running blueprints, top secret clearance, printing out cruise missile blueprints in a skiff, you know lead room with one phone. He's like all right, here it is, I got to transport it. Now, when you do that, and then at night he'd go to print shops in San Diego and run you know print printing jobs. You know invitations for weddings or you know whatever. He'd run all these. You know I remember going to a shop and I remember to this day the, the AB Dick machine this is giant printing machine that would sit there and he'd be like here, give me another ream of paper I was like you know eight years old like loading paper into these like giant machines, like literally like cha-cha cha-cha, like huge, like room filled machines. And you think about today what a printer can do, right, and you know I mean he was. He was doing this making you know, 13 bucks an hour for you know 20 years.
Speaker 1:I was down in San Diego, interestingly and this is, you know, kind of a unique perspective for Thanksgiving and he was talking to me about his retirement. So he worked Marine Corps, then obviously you know, did this printing job for General Dynamics, but his retirement check from General Dynamics and Lockheed Martin, which bought his division at one point, is a startling $32 a month. So when we think about you know our lives and you know accumulation of wealth and how you know how to live, et cetera, like I look at, I look at my dad going. You know he never made more than $42,000 a year, uh, but he lives, you know. He lives in a nice house he's had since 1961 and he's he's gotten by. He's 86 years old now, still drives a car, going out to casino, got himself a girlfriend, let's go.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, yeah, he's like Blue from old school.
Speaker 1:Totally, totally. He's got his Tuesday, girlfriend. They go do their slot machines and they go up and do their thing A couple days a week. He's got every, every gift of a casino in the back of his house. I go is this like your re-gift for like Christmas now? Like I'm not kidding you, like floor to ceiling, like walks, air fryers, like all this stuff like that he's. He's turned into like you know that guy you see at the casino hanging out stuff like that he's turned into like you know that guy you see at the casino hanging out hitting the slots.
Speaker 2:Now did we lose mom? Yeah, mom passed away in 2008. Sorry to hear that, brother. I lost my dad in 2021. So my mom's still with us. My mom's vibrant outgoing. She's 70, should be 75 in October of next year. Awesome stuff as you think about, like core values your parents taught you that were, that were super important. Tell me what a couple that come to mind.
Speaker 1:Well, as a you know drill instructor, marine Corps, core value number one is right to be early as to be on time, to be on time as to be late and to be late as to be forgotten. Rule number one of Jim Brown was you got to show up, you got to be there and you got to be ready. I think that is one thing. From a from a work perspective, that was you know, I don't care if it was cutting the lawn, you know doing things around the house, I mean it was there's, there's a regiment, there's a schedule and you, you got to show up. I mean half, half the job is showing up and being ready to do what you need to do.
Speaker 1:You know, and I think you know, taking that future, you know, 30 some odd years later, I can't tell you how many times I've used that line, you know is. You know to be early is to be on time. Like you, you never want to be late. I don't care. You know you're at your national convention, you're at your award ceremony, whatever, and you've been drinking all night at happy hour, entertaining. If the show starts at nine, you're there at eight, 45 and you're in your seat and you're ready to go Like. That's you know rule of thumb. Your, your client meeting is at 9am.
Speaker 3:You're there at eight, 45.
Speaker 1:You're ready, you're never want to waste somebody's time. So, having that perspective, the second thing he always said is pay yourself first. You know, from a core value perspective of looking at things going, you know, before you, you know before you think about your wants and your needs. Pay yourself because you've got a plan for the future and you got to look at yourself in that perspective of you know. It's almost like the Wayne Gretzky quote it's not where the puck is, it's where the puck will be Right. Pay yourself first.
Speaker 1:And I think you know my dad was, you know he was an over communicator. He never, he never wanted it couldn't be a bigger dichotomy. My mother was the empathetic, the hug, the love, the care. You know the, the, the building up of somebody's character and, just, you know, having the emotion of life. And my father was the. You know it is. It is the steps that you take to build your life and work, um, very methodical about it, um, so I think they, I think you know my mother taught me empathy, to understand and listen to people, that there's always a situation that you don't know about, that you need to investigate when people make decisions and do things. And my father was, you know, never be the person that somebody is questioning your ethics and your work ethics and the things that you do. So I think that was, I think, kind of the two or three main points that I can really coin back to my childhood and say you know, if I pin something on the wall, I think those would be it.
Speaker 2:I love it. Well, that tells me a lot about you, brother, on where, like your, I guess, passion for like great communication and success in sales and business, and you talk about being early on time, showing up and over communicating. When you do those three things in sales.
Speaker 1:You're going to be better than most Agreed yeah being tenacious, right, I mean, you can't give up.
Speaker 1:I mean you know sports, sports you know, taught, taught you that I mean I think it was more important. You never winning was great but losing was worse. Yeah, like the pain of losing a game or, you know, being a part of that losing season, it's like that that hurt more than the celebration of the win. So I think I poised myself from a sales perspective of that comp, competitive nature of you. Know I love winning but I I hate losing more than I love winning. And being able to push through, uh, to achieve things like that in sales and in leadership and you know life, I think that's been kind of one of those things that's really set set into me at a very young age.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, so we got a dad who's 86 and still driving, which is that's uncommon. So, uh, the days, if you're cause I'll I hate to say it everybody our parents do frustrate us from time to time. Um, but when your dad frustrates you, I'll just say just take a deep breath and say the dude's 86 and still driving.
Speaker 1:So we just stayed at his house for the last week at Thanksgiving. You know, and it's it's funny Cause you, my, my wife and I joke is her mom and stepdad. You know, similar. You hear the same story kind of over and over and like it's like the there's a, there's a few core stories you're going to hear every trip and about everything. And you know she reminds me. You know you're not always going to be able to hear those stories. So you know, listen to them now, like, take advantage of the fact that they're still here, they're still telling those stories and it still means something to them and let them. Let them tell that story and enjoy it.
Speaker 2:No, exactly Because we're going to be. We're going to be them one day and you know we're going to probably be annoying our kids and not doing it on purpose.
Speaker 1:Hey, I just got my AARP card. I'm ready.
Speaker 2:Love it. Okay, so take all that into account. Now I want to go into, like your daughter, so you're raising your first daughter with the things you learned. Talk about the things that your parents taught you, that you applied for her and what were some of those. Maybe I'll just.
Speaker 1:I'll just stop there, and before I keep going, yeah, I mean I think you know at the time, cause, like I said, you know, I was separated and then divorced when she was little. So and I was, I remember, kind of diving into work. So I left Robert Half. After being a regional vice president for years, I bought into a franchise up in San Jose pre 9-11 and had this brilliant idea that you know the Bay Area is going to blow up and we're going to. You know I'm taking all this. You know. You know vim and vigor that I had and all the success of you know 1999. I'm going to make this freaking crazy. So I walk away from this amazing job, robert Half, after I, you know, told I shouldn't say walked away I got fired because I told the CEO of Robert Half to F off. I got fired because I told the COO of Robert Half to F off. True story we can get into that about learning things as a young, full of yourself vice president, you can drop an F bomb if you want.
Speaker 2:We're going to. I can put the little E next to it.
Speaker 1:So let them fly if you want. So I was flying up Monday morning, I was flying home Thursday night into San Jose and I would pick my daughter up Thursday night and have her from Thursday to Sunday night every weekend. That was like a rotation. And taking that perspective of you know, you've got this young child that you have to almost reconnect with every week because you know I'm not there every day.
Speaker 1:And you know, ensuring, I think ensuring that she felt that dad was there, you know that, whether I was there or not, dad's there. Building that communication with her, even, you know, at two versus, you know, 14, is having open lines of communication. You know, I think, especially as a dad of a daughter, as things got as she got older, being able to allow her to share the emotions and not take the the testosterone perspective and shut it down. Okay, that's crazy, Don't do it like that. You know, I mean we've all been there, but being able to stop and just let you know her as a, you know, going from a child to a young woman, to a woman, I mean, I think it's, I mean it's helped my relationship with my wife now tremendously.
Speaker 1:I credit, I think, my daughter of teaching me how to better communicate and connect with you know, a relationship with a, with, you know, a significant other. Because I don't, I think I was, you know I was full of myself for a very long time and, like you know, my way was the right way. And I think you know, learning to, to hear and see things from you know, the Learning to hear and see things from you know, I call it, the three-foot vision right, the 36-inch vision of that little kid and what they look at and what they see. Sometimes you've got to bring yourself down there in life and in business and look at it from that different vantage point. You spend way too much time up here at six-foot-one looking out over here at this viewpoint. You know it's our job to get down here. You know get on your knees and have a conversation. You know give a hug and understand and hear. You got two ears and one mouth right and you know absorb it and make sure you understand it and really connect.
Speaker 1:I think that I think that's a that's a life lesson that she taught me is you have to connect and understand At that age and as they're growing up, it's their viewpoint. It's your job to guide and curate this little person to adulthood. But you got to understand really what they're feeling, because that's all they have right now. They don't understand what their feelings are. It takes a long time to figure that out and giving them an opportunity to share that is just. I think that was that was the biggest lesson I learned from her.
Speaker 2:She taught me a lot. Well, you, you hit on something that one of the one of the reasons I started this podcast, almost six years ago now, which sounds cool to say, is, whether you're the CEO of a company, a bus driver, a pro athlete, whatever, how cool you think your job is. Hint dads, our kids don't give two shits. Yeah, they really they don't, and we think they do because we've got these things called a male ego, which is a scary thing sometimes. Two shit, you know, and. But what they care about is hey, can we get ice cream tonight? Hey, is Dairy Queen still open?
Speaker 3:Hey, can I go to Susie's?
Speaker 2:house and spend the night. Hey, I know you want to watch the game, but can we watch this movie? Yeah, and I think, reminding us all of this, Like Ryan Holiday says in his book, Ego is the Enemy. I work hard to keep that ego checked at all times and my wife did a fantastic know, keeping me humble throughout my whole life. My coaches did the same thing, my parents, my friends. But and you said something that triggered that thought, Brian, because you said you know your, your daughter's taught you along the way that now it's helped you in your second marriage. Is there a story that comes to mind of when you really had to check that ego that might hit home for a dad at home? Or you realize, shoot, maybe, maybe this isn't always my, my way and that that might help inspire?
Speaker 1:dad to maybe have a different conversation with his daughter tonight. You know there's probably a thousand um, you know, I think that I think, uh, I called him the mean age or years, right, so I think as soon as she hit that 13, 14, there was definitely a dynamic shift of this. Is, you know, dad's best friend, buddy, do anything with dad. Dad's my hero to you know. The conversations change, that's a douche now.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, exactly Like. So I think trying in that period it was a big shift for me and I think it was a you know kind of a head scratch, like what? You know what the fuck? Like? Where did you go? Like you were right here, like you were right here.
Speaker 1:Now you're somewhere over here and I have no idea how to connect with you and I think you know, starting with the, you know you've got to put that tablet down, you've got to put your phone down, like you come home, like let's have a conversation, and you know, then that was a little demonstrative and it didn't work, right, it was, it put more barriers and it put, I think, a different feel of you know, adversarial, almost like you know well, home and sit in the house after school, let's take five minutes and go somewhere. And we live in this great part of San Diego called Poway and there's a lake, it has this beautiful walk and it's awesome. So I'd force her to go for a walk, like instead of going home after school. You know you're 14, you and I are going to go get a little exercise, we're going to walk and we're just going to talk and we're going to take 20 minutes and look at this beautiful lake. You know we do this twice a week, you know, minimum. We were pretty steady on it. And then it became where she was like well, dad, are we going to get our walk? I like the exercise, let's do the hill this time. Okay, yeah, great, let's go do that. And it became more of like you know, now we're and I hate to say friends, because I didn't want to be a friend, I want to be a dad.
Speaker 1:But I think, building or shifting the connection that we had where it was, I was, you know, kind of directing what we were doing versus let's, let's change our atmosphere and take us both out of where I guess the role of dad and daughter is a hundred percent in place. I eat the house, like let's go somewhere and like, hey, afterward let's stop and you know, over here, and like we'll grab a bite to eat, or like it just took, it, took the perspective and shifted it, and I it certainly helped. I mean, obviously it was. There was times where it just took it, took the perspective and shifted it. It certainly helped. I mean, obviously it was. There was times where it was like I don't know who this kid is still.
Speaker 1:I mean that's teenagers, but it certainly, I think, could have been worse. It could have been worse, but we did that, probably for a good you know, through through her junior year and then when she got her senior year, she was working almost 20 hours a week riding horses and it was definitely the hey dad, I'll see you on Saturday kind of mentality. It's like I got a car now and this is what we're doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when you told her you got a little guy in the way, how did she take it?
Speaker 1:Horribly, horribly. It was shock. It was like like dad, what are you doing to me? Like I'm your child, you know? I said hey, you think you're surprised, you think we're. I mean, what do you think about us? I mean, I'm 48 years old, like this is.
Speaker 1:This wasn't planned this was not our plan we're moving to vegas, we're gonna go back and forth with this lifestyle and it took her a while, in all honesty, casey, to come around. I mean she struggled mightily, going from you know kind of, you know, on dad's pedestal. You know dad's so proud of me. You know dad's my biggest fan, you know. You know to look at it and actually embrace. You know to look at and actually embrace, I think, the perspective that she's now not alone in this world, that she's got a little brother. She's got she'll have a little bit of me in her life now forever, and you know have to build that relationship. So it took her.
Speaker 1:I think a good 18 months, 24 months, to kind of come around to the fact that you know I didn't do this to her and maybe embrace it differently and look at it as well. This is actually a pretty good gift. It's interesting I mean, he's 20 years younger than me, but I think it's pretty cool. So you know, now there's like family trips, now we're doing things together, now it's it's come around quite a bit. That's awesome.
Speaker 2:That's cool, um, you said when we started recording the very beginning about just the different perspectives, as like it's almost like um, you played, you're playing, 36 holes. You got your first 18 golf analogy and now you're going to play the second 36. You might play each hole differently. Um, tell me a couple things. You're you're going to do the same from a dad perspective, and then maybe tell me a couple things you might do differently as you're raising the brewman I mean I'll start with the different uh, perspective.
Speaker 1:Like it, it is uh, open for like embraces and hugs and kisses, but not that much. And I think this time around it's like you know, it's hugs all day. It's, it's it's, you know, I think, connecting with you, know him in that perspective and letting him know that you know how much he's cared for and loved I think that my daughter because it was, you know, I wasn't there every day it was, I think, hard to get that going again and it was like restarting every week to do it and not being with her. But you know, with Brewer, it's you know I mean he runs downstairs and runs up and like it's, you know it's hugs, it's you know, give, give dad a kiss, like I mean it's just it's a whole different level of I think I call it embracement or, you know, I don't know what the right word is here, but you know I I don't think I ever thought that I would, you know, be in a situation where you know I was open to that again.
Speaker 1:Like I mean, it was like my daughter was grown and here comes this little guy and it was like, nah, I am like this is, this is great, like I I couldn't have asked for anything more. And then I think that you know doing something, the same, I think the the being there communicating and talk about that three foot level, and I say that my wife and I always talk about that. Like you know, make sure you're getting down to their perspective, and I think that's something I did very well with my daughter. I think that I need to continue that now and I think it's it's a, it's a perspective that we all need to, to remember.
Speaker 1:Is that not everybody's here? You know, get down, take the stilts off. You know, make sure you see it from that branch of the tree and understand and appreciate where someone else is. And you know what they're going through and what they need, what you know there's wants and there's needs. What do they need? What is this an emotional thing? Is this, you know, is he frustrated because you know he didn't get his Cheerios or his Paw Patrol TV show, or is something you know bothering him? You know, and it's like it's kind of cool to see this little guy go. You know, dad, I'm angry.
Speaker 3:I'm like ah, nice, All right, let's let's talk about that.
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, CEO of Tier 4 Group, a women-owned and diversity-certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the US. At Tier 4 Group, relationships are at the heart of everything we do, Whether it's with our clients, our candidates, our vendor partners or with each other. Our mission is to go beyond transactions and create long-lasting partnerships. We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent, and that starts with truly understanding our clients and candidates. It's not just about filling roles. It's about fostering success for the long term. About filling roles it's about fostering success for the long term. This is the recipe for success that's landed us on the Inc 5000 six consecutive years and has us outpacing our competition across the country, and I'm thrilled to support Casey Jay Cox's podcast.
Speaker 3:Casey's philosophy aligns perfectly with ours prioritizing relationships over transactions. His insights on building trust, empathy and connection resonate deeply with the way we do business at Tier 4 Group. We were honored to have Casey as our keynote at our 2024 kickoff, and all of our new hires read his book Win the Relationship, Not the Deal, when they start here with us. So if you're looking for a partner who values relationships as much as results. Visit us at tier4groupcom or connect with me, Betsy Robinson, directly on LinkedIn. And, while you're at it, keep tuning into Casey's podcast. You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally. And, as Casey always says, stay curious.
Speaker 2:I love that you can talk that well and say it oh man he is, I, I, I'm very, uh, he, he's.
Speaker 1:He talked about a beast, so he's not even four yet. He's almost four feet tall. He's 42 pounds. Um, the little dude is is just, he's, he's a, a, he's a hoot, he is. So he's a little comedic genius, like I love it, like he's got such a personality you got him doing power cleans or deadlift, yet oh, he's, he does his workouts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we do our workouts together. We get the bands out, he does his uh, uh mountain climbers and he's like on the ground, like he's. He's getting it going. His first year of t-ball already. We're, we got it happening like buddy I'm gonna take that right arm and put it behind your back there we're gonna get you thrown lefty. You gotta get your lefty paint the corners um now.
Speaker 2:were your parents affectionate with you, zero, zero. I think it was generational.
Speaker 1:I think it was. I mean I probably could. You know, growing up, I mean it's funny. Now my dad tells me he loves me all the time, but growing up I think maybe I could count two times on my hands that I ever heard him say, you know, I love you or I'm proud of you, or anything like that. There was no hugs, there was no high fives. There was. You know, there was. There was none of that. I mean it, you know it was. It was more of like hey, you piece of shit, get over here and get the yard done. You know, I mean I think it was. It was generational. It's like I, you know it.
Speaker 1:Just I wasn't him and my mom was. You know my mom was similar, you know, I mean it was. It was like hi, honey, you know, but that you know, there wasn't a lot of affection, there wasn't hugs or wasn't kisses. Completely different Like my wife's family, so different like her, her mom. You know kisses, you know her son and daughter and they, you know, they kiss each other and hug each other, they tell each other they love each other every day, like it's a very different dynamic each other every day, like it's a very different dynamic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's funny, I, my, um, my mom was very affectionate. My dad, yes and no, at times I don't remember him being like, I don't, maybe he was older. My dad was like nine years older than my mom, so I don't know if that led into it. But my, you know, but my football, like my dad, my mom and dad loved watching me play football in college and my dad almost freaking bankrupt himself going to some shithole towns. I'd play in and um, but at the end, when he was getting ready to pass away, he was very affectionate and so like for me, I just watching that journey and then like seeing the power of, like the emotional intelligence and in like my life and my corporate life, my marriage, my friends, it's like I just want I like I think of like three pillars humility, vulnerability and curiosity.
Speaker 2:I think it was often and I try to teach my kids those, try to teach myself those and what you know, with those three things, like affection is big in our house too. And um, you know, I have a 16 year old daughter and so, like when you were talking about your daughter's going, I mean, I went through that and like times I remember going to my wife. I'm like what did I do?
Speaker 2:Like why, Right, I'm the same dude. It's like your feelings get hurt. You kind of feel like lose a little confidence. I'm like, oh, what am I? Yeah, but then she, then she comes around and I just think I control it. I can control, like, hey, I'm here to talk, here. I need to just communicate as much as I can. But I'm hopeful, but I'm, you know, I definitely, she definitely there's like she and I have the bond of basketball and I rebound for her. That's like our jam, but like her and my, my wife, are like super close and which I want her to talk about the girl stuff with her. You know she's not going to talk about her menstrual cycle with me. What do I know about that, you know? Um.
Speaker 1:Hey, I do. I do remember, though, like being prepared for that, I went to the store. I got all the all the little stuff you know, like, ok, I've got you set up. So whenever this happens, like we've got it, we've got it covered, and she's just like looking at me like what'd you do, dad, I'm like just saying I got you, we're ready, we're ready so you mentioned, um, affection, you mentioned things you continue to do.
Speaker 2:is there an area your dad game that you, now that you have this like second attempt, that you're like man? I made this mistake early, but I'm not going to make this mistake now and I've been because, like for me, one of the areas I work on hard I think talking to so many dads that feel like free therapy for me, like interview people is patience. Like as a competitive guy, that's my gap and so I have to focus hard on just staying patient and not overreacting and not just let just be present and not try to control and fix.
Speaker 1:I think that's a great point and I think I I I started to kind of you know, realize that I think it's, it's I think you said this earlier to being present, tied with being patient, is such a critical situation. Like my little dude loves being the helper, so if I'm I don't care if I'm changing a light bulb, uh underneath the sink, uh, building a cabinet, like he wants to be right there and he wants to like help and he wants to see what's going on. Like he thinks it's so cool that you know we're fixing that he calls it dad. What are we fixing? What are we fixing? What are we like? He's so into it and being able to slow down and be like okay, so like this is a screwdriver, this is what it does. You know this, this is a tool. This is danger, you know, and it's just warms my heart. He danger, danger, like it's so funny, um, but like he wants to be there and it's like I'm in the middle of this stuff and I want to get it done and I'm like, okay, don't be a dick. Like he is.
Speaker 1:You've got this little guy that is so enthralled by you right now, yeah, and he wants to learn everything that dad is doing to be part of this. Like, don't be impatient with him, show him how it's working, let him understand it a little bit, and then you know. Now he's like he gets over to his little chair and he gets out his little fake tools. He's like I'm fixing, I'm doing this. He's like talking to himself, like you know. He's like listen, and you know. Then he's dropping the F-bomb, like dad does when I do something stupid, right, and mom's just like Brian, I'm like hey, you say it too, like, but like seriously, he's like doing his little thing. He's like what the fuck?
Speaker 3:And I'm like can't say that, buddy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's one of those no words.
Speaker 2:That's funny. No words, that's funny. Okay, well, before we dive into what you're doing at the Assembling Group, if you were to like summarize what we've talked about as dads, that people can take from our conversations lessons learned, the journey along the way that a dad can take from our conversation, if you think about it like actionable advice tell me a few things that come to mind that dads can take from our episode that will help them become that better, ultimate or quarterback leader of their home.
Speaker 1:Sure, I mean, I think the biggest thing for me, if I kind of look at this and having this conversation with you, is you got to stop. I mean there's so many things that I think that we think that are so important. You know there's there's nothing more important than you know cultivating and building that, that, that life, that, that little person, that person that is growing into a, you know, a contributor to the world in your family. And you know we need to stop. As dads we get so, so busy. I mean I know I do it's. You know, stock market did this work, did this? You know, ah, I got this problem with this situation. This broke. You know what I mean? All of these things that come at you.
Speaker 1:You just got to stop and make sure you're taking the time to get down on that three foot level to enjoy and hear and love and care for that little person. And as they get older, they to 30, 30 to 45. I mean the problems and the situations and things that you have to deal with are so tremendously different and the aspects that we can do as a dad to hit and give that advice and be there of. Okay, you know I got to take my own advice sometimes Pause, don't move so fast, like let's, let's just sit in the moment and let's, let's really figure this out.
Speaker 1:And I think as dads we have to pause with our time, like we, we can't let everything else command our time. We've got to make sure that we're present. We're engaging, you know we're engaging with our relationship, whether you know you are married or you know you have a partner, or maybe you're divorced. But you know that co-parenting relationship because I've had both now is so important. You know that's, that's the, you know that person is so relatively a part of that life journey for that child. You've got to be there, you got to cultivate it and, you know, no matter how angry or whatever you feel, you've got to be able to have some commonality in the fact that you brought that person in this world. You've got to make sure that you take care of them.
Speaker 2:Yep, no, I love it, man. Well, I, I, I'm, I'm jealous of your being able to fix stuff, my I. If you Google like worst, handiest person and then click images, my face comes up. I wish I was handy. So I kudos for you for slowing down and even catching yourself, cause I know you're probably not perfect at it, but it sounds like you're.
Speaker 2:More often than not You're slowing yourself down. You're teaching the brew man how to use a screwdriver, like my son's not handy because I'm not handy, my wife's super handy, my daughter's handy. I'm jealous of that and so but I'm, I, I tried to. You know, like we're working on something. Like I'll just, I'll try to throw myself under the bus first to kind of humble the room and show vulnerability to my son. Like hey, dude, listen, I suck at this stuff. We can, we can figure out together, dude, you know. And um, yeah, you know, but it's like tongue-in-cheek, like make fun of yourself a little bit, but like know that, hey, just because I'm not good at that, there's other things I'm really you're really good at, I'm really good at.
Speaker 2:We all have our strengths and weaknesses um, okay, before we go into the lightning round with some fun random stuff that shows you the negative hits of my my that I do have a screw loose pun intended, what tell us what the Summerlin group is about and tell us that people want to connect with you and learn more about you and your work. Tell me how we can make that happen for people.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. Summerlin advisory group kind of came out of my brain of I had sold my business, I'd taken a board seat, had a couple of year non-compete and wanted to get back in business. I'm not done. I think there's a lot to contribute and I truly love doing what I do, which is helping to grow companies, either from an operational or sales perspective. And I got connected with a couple of people that were referrals. They're like, hey, come help us do this. I'm like, oh sure, a couple of people that were referrals are like, hey, come help us do this. I'm like, oh sure, the next thing, you know, there's you know four or five different companies asking me to. You know either function as a fractional CEO or a fractional CRO or whatever. And it kind of just spurred my brain of well, I really like this.
Speaker 1:Rather than going and starting another business, why don't I just help other people avoid the pitfalls that I've fallen in probably a thousand different times, avoid the pitfalls that I've fallen in probably a thousand different times, whether it's people, operations, taking a shitty financing deal or factoring deal, or all the different mistakes we make as business owners and helping navigate through this kind of growth phase, which is really kind of the wild, wild west and how do you get to the industrial revolution, like, let's make that jump.
Speaker 1:So Summerland Advisory Group, kind of spurred from that, I've got a couple really strong former clients of mine. Actually a business ran a large scale business, helped grow a business, and we kind of come in and help you figure out your current state and where you want to be, where the road fall and the pit blocks and this, that and the other thing and let's move that landmine over here and let's keep moving. So that's who we are and we're happy. I specialize mostly in the staffing business. I've got one completely ancillary customer that was a construction company and they've been working with me now for almost two years and it's been kind of fun looking at it from a different perspective. But I've owned staffing and professional services firms for 20 years, so that's really my niche.
Speaker 2:Very cool. Well, I will make sure that's linked in the show notes. And is LinkedIn maybe the best way to people that want to connect you on social? Or is there a different platform?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, or you can go to Summerlin Advisory Group website just summerlinadvisorycom or LinkedIn. Love to connect with you.
Speaker 2:Awesome, brian. I will make sure that's all linked in the show notes.
Speaker 2:It's now time to go on what I call lightning round where I show you the negative hits of taking too many football hits, not bong hits. In college and as a quarterback in the 90s, I definitely got my bell rung quite a few times. So I don't have any questions prepared. I'm just going to ask these as quickly as I can. Your job is to hopefully answer them as quickly as I can. As quickly as I can. Your job is to hopefully answer them as quickly as I can, and then my main job is to try to get a giggle out of you. Deal, let's do it, okay, true or false? Uh, brewster is more handy than I am, true. Thank you, spot on Got it. Um, uh, if you were to go back and, uh, watch your dad uh, drill Sergeant.
Speaker 1:What would be the one? Um, a Hollywood character that would best play him in a movie. Uh, james Earl Jones, it's the voice. My dad has a bellowing voice, like you, there's no question when he's talking. You know what. What's going on?
Speaker 2:There you go. I thought you might say tackleberry from police Academy, which I was prepared for, just in case For those the shout out police Academy fans out there. Well, that was the first time I mentioned tackleberry on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Seriously, yeah, Getting some some. Uh, what was the guy that talked? Really, really weird. Oh God, darn Bobcat or what was his name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not coming to me. I'm going to get made fun of by my buddies. I should know this.
Speaker 1:Goldthwait, Bobcat Goldthwait, something like that so good. Get my police academy Steve Guttenberg. All right, let's go.
Speaker 2:We digress.
Speaker 1:I know, okay, tell me the most impactful book you ever read 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell.
Speaker 2:Okay, favorite movie of all time is Star Wars. Okay, if you were going on vacation right now, just you and your wife. Sorry, brewster, you're staying home. Buddy, where are we going, mammoth? Okay, if I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would you cook me? Enchiladas, tasty. If there was to be a book around about, written about your life, tell me the title I stepped in shit and came out with roses that is a home run, right for the record.
Speaker 2:I so I stepped in shit and I stepped in shit and came out roses. Is that what it was? Yeah, okay, so that book brian is every bookshelf. It gone. Amazon can't keep enough copies. It's sold out in airports. Barnes and Noble no one can keep this thing. So now Netflix has found out about it. They're going to make a movie out of it. You are now the casting director. I need to know who is going to star in. I Stepped in Shit and it Came Out Roses.
Speaker 1:I would say, nah, I'll go old school. I said Star Wars let's bring Mark Hamill back in. Let's bring Mark Hamill back, let him rock it out.
Speaker 2:Solid, solid choice. Okay and last question.
Speaker 1:Tell me two words that would describe your wife Beautiful and dynamic.
Speaker 2:Boom, lightning round's complete. We both giggled. I tend to laugh at my own jokes, which is what dads do. Brian, it's been fantastic getting to know you. I'm grateful that Tom Kosnick and our paths crossed paths, even though the fantastic Mark Agostinelli he was there too for that panel. I appreciate the vulnerability, the honesty you shared. I know there's a family out there that hopefully listens, that maybe has a gap in ages and kids, and so hopefully they learned a little bit from our conversation today, learned about, learned from your wisdom you shared. I'll make sure that everything's linked in the show notes so people can learn more about Summerlin Advisory Group. But it's been an honor spending time with you today. I'm grateful and wish you and your family the best with holiday season. Yet this episode will come out in 2025. But again, thanks for spending time with me today. I'm grateful and wish you and your family the best of a holiday season. Yet this episode will come out in 2025. But again, thanks for spending time with me today on the Quarterback Dadcast.
Speaker 1:Really appreciate it, and congratulations on six seasons. That's great. Thanks, man.