The Quarterback DadCast

Beyond Survival: How Childhood Adversity Shapes the Dads We Become - Michael Simmon-Pappadakos

Casey Jacox Season 6 Episode 296

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Today's episode only happens thanks to the team at Tri-State TechServe Alliance.  Roughly a year ago, I met Michael Papadakos from RedStream Technology, as he attended a keynote I delivered for sales professionals.  I also must thank Sioux Logan for sending Michael to this event.

In this episode, he shares his journey from a Marine Corps veteran to intentional fatherhood, revealing how his extraordinary family history and global experiences shape his approach to raising grounded, resilient children.

• Mother was born in a Berlin bomb shelter in 1945 during wartime chaos
• Lost his father at age 4, navigated childhood with a single mother
• Joined the Marine Corps at 21, seeking structure and discipline
• Traveled extensively during military service, including France, Egypt, and Burundi
• Teaches his children kindness, gratitude, delayed gratification, and curiosity
• Balances high expectations with understanding what kids genuinely need
• Believes in showing compassion while not tolerating trivial complaints
• Values building connections through shared activities and open communication
• Coaches basketball despite not being an expert, emphasizing effort over outcomes
Founder of Leathernecks in Tech, a networking group for Marines working in technology


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Speaker 2:

Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show. Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast. Welcome to season six, and I could not be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes and conversations really unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads. If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple. It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home. So let's sit back, relax and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast. Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast.

Speaker 2:

We are in season six and this next gentleman I met actually last year at a event where I spoke at in the great state of New York for the New York Tri-State Chapter at TechServe so thank you for having me out there and this gentleman was someone that really kind of stood out. He was a curious, curious guy, super easy to talk to and very gracious in his follow-up, and then we stayed connected and then I spent time with his leader. Shout out to Sue Logan, who the founder of Redstream, but our next guest is Michael Papadakis. He's a US Marine. Our next guest is Michael Papadakis. He's a US Marine. He's a former wrestling coach, he's got some real estate skills, he's a growth and strategy guy in the staffing world, but, more importantly, he's a dad, and that's why we're having him on the show to learn more how Michael's working hard to become that leader and quarterback of his households.

Speaker 1:

Without further ado, Mr Papadakos, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast Awesome. Well, thank you, Casey. I appreciate the intro and yeah, I don't know about being a quarterback, but definitely a tentpole holding up the circus. That's kind of the analogy that I think about when I think about being a dad, but certainly the quarterback analogy is a good one too.

Speaker 2:

Well, you bet. Well, we always start out with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?

Speaker 1:

I mean for me just the opportunity of having kids. I think I was somebody who for most of my life, the thought never occurred to me to actually have kids. I was probably too young and too selfish. So to be able to, you know, raise two wild animals and and tame them and hopefully pass on some wisdom is pretty extraordinary. And I've got an awesome wife too who you know is a critical piece of it all.

Speaker 2:

Well, very cool. So my gratitude today is yes, so we're recording in March. This episode will come out in a month or so. Yesterday I turned the ripe old age of 49 and I'm so grateful for it was like the birthday of. As you get older, every birthday is kind of different, but yesterday's birthday was awesome. I had so much kind things from people and messages and for my and the thing that made me most happy is my my kids' friends were sending me messages. Yeah, I'm like I don't know. I just I was able to play golf the afternoon with some friends and um had a great dinner with my wife and a good buddy and his wife, and just very, very grateful for the love and people surrounding me. It just it was an awesome day. So I was grateful for that. Yeah, no accidents.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure you, you built all that stuff, so it is nice to sit back and soak it up every once in a while, because I think we often forget right. Yeah, totally yeah, life's moving fast. Think we often forget right we get caught. Yeah, life's moving fast.

Speaker 2:

Well, bring me inside the huddle, tell me how you and your wife met, and then share more about each of your children.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I actually met my wife on the subway. This was, yeah, just a random passing on the number seven train heading out to Queens and I saw her on the train and she definitely caught my eye. And it was hard to summon up the courage to talk to anybody on the subway and, as luck would have it, she was getting off at my stop, so the doors opened, she stepped out, I stepped out and I said I usually would make a right and she went left. So I decided to go left and I said Are you walking this way? And she, without missing a beat, she said I'm following you.

Speaker 1:

And, um, yeah, just an incredible human being and kind and gracious and beautiful and uh, yeah, we had a lot of fun together, so that started it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And then how long have?

Speaker 2:

you been married.

Speaker 1:

Uh, I think, gosh I'm bad with numbers I think we're at 13 years.

Speaker 2:

Okay, very cool. And then tell me about your kids.

Speaker 1:

Sure. So, uh, leo is 12. Uh, he, uh, looks just like his mom, so he's blessed in that way. And my, my daughter, uh, god bless her too. She looks just like me. Luciana is eight and uh, yeah, they're, they're just, they're, they're good kids, they're, uh, you know, they're curious. I think they're pretty kind and the job is to raise them with values and let them know that life's not easy and no, silver spoons.

Speaker 2:

Amen to that, brother. I think raising grounded kids who is super important. Something that my wife and I talk about a lot is like, you know, if you've experienced things in life and I know I think the the, the life we've created is not the life I had grown up and um, not good or bad, it's just different, and so it's like. But I want the values that my parents did a really good job teaching me about hard work and commitment and um, you know, fall through and um just really want to make sure, like we've, we work hard to get those and it's funny, like we have a son in college now and my daughter's a junior in high school. But to see the scene when you, when your kids get older and they go to college man, if they decide to do that, it's it blows my mind how much they mature once they leave. It's crazy, yeah, and everybody warned me about it, but it's. It blows my mind how much they mature once they leave.

Speaker 2:

It's crazy, yeah, and everybody warned me about it, but it's like until you experience, you're like what are you talking about?

Speaker 1:

like it's unbelievable, it's um, it's been so fulfilling yeah, well, I think you know you try not to preach too much and, um, you try to just impart wisdom as if you were a friend or a coach and not try to get too emotionally invested in their decisions and what they're doing. But, man, is that easier said than done?

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent. That's why I am obsessed with the word curiosity. Um, and I love curiosity. It's just, I think it solves so many problems in life. Um, it makes your many problems in life. It makes relationships easier. It makes then you don't have to worry about having to say the right thing, because you have to ask the right questions and the other person is going to talk.

Speaker 1:

The majority of the time, you just have to listen, right, right.

Speaker 2:

So well, take me back to what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact that your parents had on you now that you're a dad, yeah, sure.

Speaker 1:

So when I was, my mother was born in Berlin, actually in 1945, in a bomb shelter, literally in the basement of a bomb shelter. My babushka delivered her by herself in the telephone booth. She was a doctor and cut the umbilical cord, did the whole thing and they had already fled from russia and her first husband was shot in the backyard, like they had they. They fled you know absolute chaos and ended up in new york city and um my father's side of the family they're from Greece came over 1927-28 or so from Sparta and ended up opening up a flower store.

Speaker 1:

So to make a long story short or shorter, my parents met in New York City in the 70s, in the heyday, and my father ended up passing away when I was four. So it was just me and my mom. I definitely had a good childhood, but plenty of challenges along the way, as you can imagine for a single mom with a boy. We definitely had some bumps along the the way, but we made it through, and mostly because of her, you know hard work and love and not giving up so your mom was born in a bomb shelter yeah.

Speaker 2:

I can't even imagine what that was. That must I mean. Did you ever, as you got, maybe as you gotten older, have you had conversations with her about like just experiences and oh yeah they lived in a display, a dp camp, displaced persons camp, up until, I think, 1957 in munich.

Speaker 1:

So they were all basically political refugees. And my babushka wrote a letter to eleanor roosevelt for political, to get political asylum and they got it. So, um, yeah, they made their way over here, didn't speak English, you know, uh were educated but didn't matter if you didn't speak the language. And, um, yeah, I mean they, they literally saw the worst of what humanity had to offer there was. There was no food in Berlin in 45. It was rubble, you know, I think people were literally eating other people at some points because there was no food.

Speaker 1:

My babushka was pretty savvy, her family, they were merchants. So when she was, when my mother was in the baby carriage, my babushka made homemade vodka that she would bottle and she had a false bottom underneath the baby carriage that she would bottle and she had a false bottom underneath the baby carriage that she would stash and she'd go sell it. And when that, when the soldiers would come around to inspect, she would pinch my mom real hard to get her crying just to keep the the soldiers from, you know, wanting to interfere or inspect the baby carriage. So yeah, they really, um, they had some, some, some real profound experiences wow.

Speaker 2:

So when did they, um, when did they? When did they migrate to the united states? I think 50 57.

Speaker 1:

they came over, okay, yeah, and my mother has an older sister who's 14 years older and a older brother who was seven, seven years older, who were both pretty extraordinary human beings, my mom being the youngest and probably not getting the most uh, you know, maybe all the uh attention that she needed she started, I think, was a bit of a of a black, had a lot of fun growing up in New York city in that time period and, uh, I met my dad.

Speaker 2:

Wow, Um. How did they meet?

Speaker 1:

Uh, I'm sure they met in like a nightclub or a disco or you know. I don't know the exact location, but somewhere in the city, at at at one of these places.

Speaker 2:

Wow, and if you don't mind me asking, how did your, how did your father pass away?

Speaker 1:

Lung cancer. It was a small cell carcinoma. So you get the diagnosis and I think within six months you know it was over.

Speaker 2:

Do you have any memories of him?

Speaker 1:

I have two memories.

Speaker 2:

They were both when he was sick and uh yeah him kind of being in bed and, much like you, coughing a lot.

Speaker 1:

He was obviously got like a fricking allergy thing going on here. So, yeah, no, I I do have two memories of him. I have a lot of photos and pictures. Um, I, actually I've got his dog tag around my neck so I keep him close to my heart and um, you know, life, life happens.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my pops passed away in 2021 and I got a picture of him right next to me here. I think about him often, and um so losing a parent, um, never easy. Remember what, what age you're at. Um, so I guess we have that in common, Michael.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Um, what um. Did your mom ever remarry?

Speaker 1:

She did and uh, we'll just say that didn't go well. Uh, I think initially the guy seemed like a decent human being and at this point we could probably say he had mental health issues. So extremely violent, um abusive, physically. Uh ended up in a shelter for battered women at one point in in north miami, um, just cause he was on a war path. So it was, it was over kind of in the blink of an eye. It was. They met, got married and before he knew it, things went sideways real quick and we had to pack up and and get out of town.

Speaker 2:

Wow, and you guys obviously made out, I think, hopefully safe out of that journey.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I mean, we had to restart. We moved to Rhode Island, which is where I went to middle school and high school, and I'm blessed to have a lot of good friends and great experiences. So you know again, everything happens for a reason, if it wasn't meant to be, it wouldn't have happened. So that's kind of the way I look at it.

Speaker 2:

Did they eventually catch the guy and get him in trouble?

Speaker 1:

So he had apparently done this to a few women before. This was kind of his end. All he would find, you know, vulnerable women who maybe had a little bit of resource. Not that my mom had much, but whatever he had, um, evaporated, evaporated. We went from a nice house in Miami, normal family house, to a one-bedroom apartment in Rhode Island. My mother gave me the bedroom. She slept on the couch had a 1978 brown Chevy. Nova Buddies used to call it the Duster. It was brown, it was a full-on. You know the type of car, oh yeah. So I have fond memories of saying no, you cannot drop me off here, you will drop me off around the corner from wherever we're going.

Speaker 1:

That's funny, my mom battled, she worked every day. She did the best she could with what she had.

Speaker 2:

Now is mom still with us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yep, she's doing well.

Speaker 2:

Very cool and what keeps mom busy these days?

Speaker 1:

Uh, she writes, she's um, she's writing a uh, uh, a Harry Potter like story. She's been working on it for about a year plus. It's pretty amazing what she's been able to produce, and she's just editing and trying to get it done. It's like her. You know she's on, I guess, the 16th or 17th hole.

Speaker 2:

I'd say so you know you got just burning daylight every day, trying to get the things you want to get done and create your legacy so, as you, as you reflect back on, obviously, the migrating to the States, the journey of you know, losing, losing your pops, growing up single mom, seeing some of the struggles you went with a stepdad from the, from the, maybe to highlight the positives, talk about the, the values that were really instilled in you, that you, you, that you use throughout your life and even now as a father you know, it's tough because, honestly, I was.

Speaker 1:

I think I was pretty angry for a long time. I think I probably felt like I got the shit under the stick and, um, I was a good kid. But once puberty hit and adolescence, um, I definitely, definitely the rebellious spirit kicked in and, uh, I, I caused her a lot of grief, probably caused myself a lot of grief, and just didn't know how to process all of it. It was, it was, it was just a lot of emotional baggage and right, you know, you don't know what you don't know.

Speaker 1:

So I think you know, no matter how much a mom she can't, she can't instill the things in a son maybe that a father can, just because it's hard to relate. So that's what led me to the Marine Corps and, you know, knowing that I needed the strictest form of structure and discipline that I could instill. But she did instill hard work, love and being compassionate. That's really her trace and she's highly creative and she passed that on to me. So I've, you know, at times in my life I've done some pretty fun and creative things and hopefully we'll one day get back to them what and when did you join the marine corps?

Speaker 1:

it was right at 18 uh 21 21 okay, yeah so for about three years I was like I was like jack karawack, I was on the road, I was mixing it up with all sorts of characters. A lot, a lot, a lot of you know a lot, a lot, a lot of you know a lot of uh, interesting people will say well, tell me what was the tipping point to say, hey, I got to get my life in order here.

Speaker 2:

And what, what, what triggered you to join the Marines?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I guess it was about late 99. I was waitering in the city and just I just think I was just bottoming out. I was living a life that I couldn't sustain, that my body couldn't sustain, my mind and spirit couldn't. And one thing I knew about my dad was he did go to the Marines. I knew a guy who had gone, who was a friend of a friend, sound like he had a decent experience.

Speaker 1:

I was sort of running out of options. You know, I couldn't build the ship by myself, is what I figured out is I just didn't have the tools to course correct. So I walked in the recruiter's office and I said this is going to be the easiest one you got. And he started telling me about the Montgomery GI Bill and I said, hey, I appreciate it, I don't care, I go just. I said just tell me when and where to be and where to sign. And uh, you know it was kind of pre-internet, so I really didn't know what I was getting into, other than what people have the idea of what the Marine Corps is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And uh yeah, and just had six incredible years.

Speaker 2:

And where were you stationed?

Speaker 1:

Uh, yeah, so I I was. I was pretty fortunate. I got deployed a lot. I went to Japan for a year, uh, and then I got selected to go work in the in the embassies. So, uh, my first station was tough. I went to Paris, france, for a year and a half and then from there they shipped me to Egypt for a little while and then a little country called Burundi, which is south of Rwanda, east of the Congo. I spent about another year and a half there. So a lot of good travel, good people.

Speaker 2:

And what was your specialty in the Marines?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so when I was on embassy duty it was diplomatic security, so did security for US dignitaries, embassies, did security for Colin Powell, so got to do a lot of high speed weapons training, Uh. But before that, my first three years I was a paralegal so I supported the JAG Corps, uh, doing court marshals and, um, just a whole bunch of legal stuff.

Speaker 2:

So I'm starting to kind of put the put this puzzle together. Here you mentioned create, create. Your mom has a creative gene. Brother, you've done a lot of stuff, yeah, Waiter to Marines, to wrestling coach, to a paralegal, to security. It's like you're like a movie actor.

Speaker 1:

I did a couple movies too.

Speaker 2:

Seriously.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Any ones we know?

Speaker 1:

I've got an IMDb. I've got two movies on the IMDb. Okay, nothing major, all kind of small, independent stuff. I did improv improvisational comedy for a couple of years when I got out of the Marine Corps.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

And, uh, something I really love doing, just cutting it up and do you still do it? Uh, I haven't in the last couple of years, but I, I, I've got it on the horizon and get back into it Did you ever go with?

Speaker 2:

have you heard of the yes and training?

Speaker 1:

Well, that's what it is. Yeah, it's a Dell close. Yeah, yes and yeah.

Speaker 2:

So there's a guy named um Travis Thomas and if you know him, I don't know the name, but I might know the face. So Travis is a former um, former quarterback, dad cast guest, talented speaker, talented author. He was a coach for the US national soccer team at one point. So check Travis's work. I just wrote a new book too, but he's an improv guy too, and so it follows the yes, and so I was curious if you I think it's like how you get trained in it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, and it's applicable to all things in life. I sign my kids up for it. I just think it's good to you know, it's a good skill to have to be able to think on your feet.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, speaking of your kids. So of all of these, have your kids shown curiosity yet? And hey, dad, tell me about what your life was like, yet have they shown curiosity about that?

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, they have, and I give them the uh, you know the uh, afterschool special version.

Speaker 2:

How, I guess at what point, if ever, do you ever think you'll share some of this? Um adversity you've been through?

Speaker 1:

Well, that I have shared. I have shared. You know, the, the, the trials and tribulations, uh, the episode with the stepfather and, um, they understand it and I think that it helps them frame how good that they have it.

Speaker 1:

And you know again, you don't want to be that old, that old guy. I was like you know, back in my day. You know, you, you kids, I try not to do that but, um, there are, there are times where you know I've got to say hey guys, you got to really take a step back for a second and realize how good you got it.

Speaker 2:

Right. Well, I think, and we'll, we've done a lot of episodes, Michael, on um people asking for help, and so, like I, I'm a big believer of power, of vulnerability, power of humility, power of curiosity. I think those are life's, some of life's superpowers as it relates to relationship building, not only for us dads, but in business or corporate America or any any sort of leadership roles. And so I think it's it's cool that you have shared, um, shared some of those stories. And the other thing I've I've seen is people have, you know, I've I've interviewed a lot of dads where they've they've actually sought out help, like got professional counseling, and I think it's. I want to celebrate that, because I think sometimes you can't do it alone and keeping stuff in is a dangerous I think a dangerous recipe for um, one of these days we just explode over the simplistic things because we're not talking through our emotions. So I mean, did you experience that Any positive through therapy throughout the journey for yourself?

Speaker 1:

I did at one point, do I think it's Gestalt Theory therapy, which is kind of like full circle therapy not not psychotherapy and uh, you know, kind of just reinforcing. You know you, you aren't what happened to you. They help create who you are. But all these things are, too, are a cycle and you've got to work through the whole cycle and that that takes time. And I think having when you have trauma at any point, it takes time to to work that trauma out and that's gonna, it's gonna. You know, my wrestling coach used to say sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom to push off to get to the top, you know.

Speaker 1:

So I think you gotta you do have to work through that stuff and acknowledge if you're hurting or you're, you know, whatever it is anxiety, ocd, you know I've got guys, you know, coming out of the military who had far more serious experiences than I did and you know have to work through stuff. So I think where we are right now as a society is really is a good thing, where you know guys can talk about stuff and, I think, not feel ostracized or, you know, told me, told us, I mean how much were you told to suck it up as a kid, just from coaches who suck it up? And uh, even when I was a coach, you know, I, I, I probably I had a half dozen. Suck it up your expressions, you know. Build a bridge, get over it, you know. Suck it up your expressions, you know. Build a bridge, get over it, you know. And sometimes you do have to employ that stuff. Sometimes you have to recognize that some stuff's bigger than you and you've got to, you've got to do the work.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, it's funny, I, um I've told the story before. I don't know if I've told you, but like. So I had a pretty significant injury in high school that prevented, like, my playing football my senior year in uh in high school. I was lucky enough to play in college but I didn't have a lot of film. But this injury allowed another kid to play, who I beat out the year before and he would go into um, he would go to uh, have a great year and that time in life.

Speaker 2:

This is where I really learned about, like, asking for help and vulnerability. And I remember going to my, my high school coach, and I said I said man, coach Osborne, I'm, I'm not, I'm, I'm wishing he does bad, I wish the team sucks, I just about these just immature negative thoughts. After I get done with this, like rant about just well, it was me, he's like man, I'm so proud of you. I'm like what, how could for help? And he like celebrated it.

Speaker 2:

So it's like, it's like ah, and so it was almost like I think it was just an amazing leadership by him to be able to recognize that that that's not really who I was deep down, but obviously I was going through this funk got me out of it so quick, maybe. He turned me into his offensive coordinator, allowed me to you know call plays and now I coordinator, allowed me to you know call plays and now I'm on the coaching staff. It's a 17 year old, yeah, but that's one thing we we talk to our kids a lot about is like you got, keeping it in is a dangerous thing, like we just talked about.

Speaker 1:

And so like community always working on communication, um, talking often, um, but yeah, yeah, I, I feel like that's something that we can work on as a family, because I think sometimes they do bottle it up a little bit. And you know, here's the thing, there's a fine line between complaining and having to talk about something, because I think as a society, we, we, we like to complain too, but we'd like to have an opinion about everything. Yeah, I try to teach my kids is we don't, but we'd like to have an opinion about everything. Yeah, I try to teach my kids is we don't, you don't need to have an opinion about everything. Yeah, but that that doesn't mean if there's an issue, we can't talk about it. Recognize, you know, your emotion, your frustration, but that's high EQ for a kid to understand. So I, I don't, I don't expect them to, but we do, we do work on it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's good. It's like, um, your kids are still at a. I remember the ages of 12 and eight and I went by it seems like just yesterday, but it's um, it's, and the skills around EQ, or you can practice. I mean, those are, those are ways to get better, and I think it just just like anything in life, it's repetition.

Speaker 3:

Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, ceo of Tier 4 Group, a women-owned and diversity-certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the US. At Tier 4 Group, relationships are at the heart of everything we do, whether it's with our clients, our candidates, our vendor partners or with each other. Our mission is to go beyond transactions and create long-lasting partnerships. We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent, and that starts with truly understanding our clients and candidates. It's not just about filling roles. It's about fostering success for the long term. It's not just about filling roles. It's about fostering success for the long term. This is the recipe for success that's landed us on the Inc 5000 six consecutive years and has us outpacing our competition across the country, and I'm thrilled to support Casey Jaycox's podcast.

Speaker 3:

Casey's philosophy aligns perfectly with ours, prioritizing relationships over transactions. His insights on building trust, empathy and connection resonate deeply with the way we do business at Tier 4 Group. We were honored to have Casey as our keynote at our 2024 kickoff, and all of our new hires read his book Win the Relationship, not the Deal, when they start here with us. So if you're looking for a partner who values relationships as much as results. Visit us at tier4groupcom or connect with me, betsy Robinson, directly on LinkedIn and, while you're at it, keep tuning into Casey's podcast. You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally, and, as Casey always says, stay curious.

Speaker 2:

What if you think about the values that you and your wife are that are most important to you, talk about what comes to mind that you guys are really trying to enforce? That might speak to another family at home.

Speaker 1:

I think first and foremost is kindness. You know I think my and foremost is kindness. You know I think my kids are. They are kind. They're not. You know my son and his friends. They tease each other but at the end of the day it's it's having a good heart. I think gratitude is part of that. You know, understanding that your situation, uh, better or worse or whatever you want to say about somebody else is. You need to understand that not everyone is dealt the same hand and you've got to have compassion, patience. Patience is a big one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Delayed gratification. Big one, especially nowadays, now, now now. Big one, especially nowadays, now, now, now you have instant access to everything. How do you, how do you, how do you steer that machine? Um, and, and I think, hard work and curiosity for sure, you know, try new things. I tell my kids, you know, hey, I want, you know, go try whatever. Uh, I tell my kids, you know, hey, you know, go try whatever soccer. I don't like soccer. Well, you don't have to like it, you just got to try it. Right, you rarely like anything.

Speaker 2:

You're not good at you know I hate bowling because I suck at bowling For the life of me.

Speaker 1:

Get better at bowling. You know I don't like it, but I guess my point is that? Go try new things, try everything, yeah and um. And then to you know, see if you like it, see how it feels, see what, see if it speaks to you in some way is there a um?

Speaker 2:

do you follow gratitude practice yourself?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I, I, I recently started journaling. So quick five minute blurb. You know, most mornings and do try to uh recognize you know the things that I have and what, um, a lot of it is luck, A lot of it's just dumb luck, but some of it's hard work, but some of it is just where you're born, when you're born. If you're a boy who was born in Sudan, you didn't choose that situation. That's the luck of the draw and you've got to deal with it. I think you've just got to be grateful for your health, for your situation, for the clean water you got. Look if you got clean water and you got, you know, clothes and a pair of shoes. You know you're doing all right.

Speaker 1:

When I was in Burundi the things that I would see every morning on the way to the embassy we lived at the top of a hill. We had, uh, we lived at the top of a hill and the women who were coming down would have stacks of firewood under each arm, a baby on their back and maybe balancing you know a basket or something on their head, oftentimes and I'm talking walking three miles uphill and then back down to the market every day to go sell this firewood feet look like, uh, hobbit feet. You know a lot of people didn't have shoes and then you had, you know you had civil war uh, in some ways still still going on a lot of violence and you know a lot of these people were every day was walking up and down that hill. They're smiling, shooting the shit with their friend that they're. You know that they're. They're smiling, shooting the shit with their friend that they're.

Speaker 1:

You know that they're, they're walking with and you know it. Just it just puts it in perspective is how good we have it in this country, and I think this is me ranting that it really is the best time in history to be alive, between medicine, technology, um, you know, communication between people of every background. So I think it's it's easy to get caught up in the swirl of so many things are wrong or could be better, but at the end of the day, I think it is the best time in history to be alive.

Speaker 2:

With the values you mentioned um, which are some fantastic ones, um, and the story you just shared. Like, how did all those experiences, um seeing some of these other countries, of why you're in the marines, shape you as a dad?

Speaker 1:

and some ways might have turned me into a bit of a hard ass. You know, like your butter's not melted on your bagel, you know, and you're telling me, like try again. I guess I don't have. I don't have a great deal of patience, for that to me is the complaining yeah, there's something, there's a. You know, I don't know, there's a problem that you're doing that you've got in front of you. Figure out a way to deal with it. Don't bring it to me and I will help. I'm not that much of a hard-o, but I'm just trying to get them to. You know, a guy just wrote the book. The Obstacle is the Way.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Ryan.

Speaker 1:

Holiday? Yeah, ryan Holiday, that butter's not melted on your bagel. That's the obstacle. Is the way, ryan Holiday? Yeah, ryan Holiday, that butter's not melting on your bagel. That's the obstacle. Spread the damn butter Right. Your grades are dropping and you're missing foul shots every time. Well, your greatest weakness, whatever your weakness is is what's calling your attention.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think there's another great book I read along this journey. Actually, a former guest named swan nader. He wrote a book called you have not taught until they have learned, and so it's a book about like helping kids become more self-sufficient. And we went through that during covid, when when you know 2020, we didn't realize I don't think we realized that we were doing too much for our kids.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And um, and so like we gave ourselves some grace, but then we realized, okay, let's do something about this. And so now it's now they're so self-sufficient, which is like that's our. Our goal, I think, as parents, is when, when they graduate, that are they. Are they able to survive?

Speaker 2:

and you hope they are, and sure there's gonna be bumps along the way, but you hope you've done everything you can to kind of, you know, propel them to that next stage yeah, and I think when you have stability and you have parents who know these things, that you know it's uh, it's definitely a lot easier so you saw, I mean I'd love to kind of explore my curiosity is going off again like I'd love to explore some more of your the journey across the world during the Marines, and is there any other stories that come to mind, that that, um, that maybe you've shared with your kids or that speaks to you that just kind of helps keep either you grounded or them grounded as a as individuals?

Speaker 1:

You know, when I was in Burundi, I got a chance to go out and visit other countries and went to Tanzania, kenya, south Africa, ethiopia, rwanda, you know. So I think, just get out, get out, go see places. Be uncomfortable, you know. You don't need five star accommodations. You can, you can rough it and I think, especially, you know I don't know now how much kids do it, but it used to be kids would backpack through Europe, right, yeah, a thousand bucks or something. You buy a euro pass and you putz around and you, you know, explore, know, explore. So for me, I, even when I was coaching, I tell my guys hey, when you get done here in college, you don't have to go get a job right away. Jobs are going to be there. What you have right now is youth and you've got energy. Go get a job.

Speaker 1:

I managed a restaurant in Nantucket one summer. I got lucky and guy asked me to manage this restaurant and saw these yachts pulling in, you know, and the staff would come in off the yachts and they'd sit at the bar and I'd talk to them and they'd be like, yeah, we just came from Hawaii, now we're going to Argentina, right, and they're on these super yachts and all their stuff is paid for and they're, you know, traveling. I'm like hell, go get a job on one of these yachts. Just go see the world. Go find a way, because eventually you may just end up in a house with a dog and a couple kids and look back and you might not have to wait until you're retired to go do that. Stuff is the time you can really go mix it up and just see what other cultures are and see how much different and similar human beings are.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, have you shared a lot of the stories with your kids?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, as much as they can understand or I think is relevant.

Speaker 2:

How do you balance teaching without making them feel guilty that they didn't have your life?

Speaker 1:

Well, because they got all the time ahead of them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a, that's an art, you know, I think it's. It's something I always I like we've, we've been lucky to travel as a young when my kids are young. Now I want my kids to. It's a balance of like, not, hey, you're so lucky. Well, I don't want them to feel like so, I want them to feel lucky and grateful, but I don't want them to feel guilty about it. Right, right, yeah, it's a form of appreciation without. So I think it's like a. It's something we talk about often in our house because I think now it's like my son's older. He now sees it and appreciates. He's like wow, we were really lucky. I'm like and right, well, you, yeah, but hard work creates luck right, yeah, right.

Speaker 1:

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Opportunity exactly. So it's funny you say that because that's what makes. Because there's a lot of chores in the house, you gotta take in the garbage, can. You gotta scoop the kitty litter. You gotta empty the dishwasher. You know, like this is a team effort here, me and my wife both work hard. Like we. We can't do everything right so you, you've got responsibilities, and if you're gonna, you know, live off the fat of the land, here you gotta, you gotta, carry your weight right or, or, um, or.

Speaker 2:

Things will change yeah, what as you think about the, the journeys that you've been in good, the bad, um, um, growing up, and then now, as a dad, like is there, is there one? Is there one experience or one moment that continually drives you to say man, this experience has really helped me? I think about this often because it's going to help me stay on this path, to be the best dad I can be.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if there's one. Honestly, I think it's just a culmination of so many things. I started wrestling in high school. I remember walking into my first wrestling practice and for lack of a better term getting my shit pushed in and you know, and that happened for a good year.

Speaker 1:

You know where I wasn't getting wins. I was just getting smacked around and manhandled and, you know, and again didn't have a dad who was picking me up and patting me on the back and saying, hey, mike, you've got to work on this. I was walking home from matches by myself, my mom's working late, so I was going to the library checking out books literally black and white books to learn technique. And then come about my sophomore year. Things started turning around and started winning matches and getting competitive and, um, you know, I had some other, uh, you know, good I guess, uh, you know, sporting accolades along the way, but they were all self-earned. I'd say, you know, you, you've got, you've talent will only take you so far. Then you've got to put in the work, um, and enjoy the experience. Right, like, um, I don't know, it's a whole nother conversation about setting goals. I almost don't set. I really don't set goals, I just I'll come because, because then what happens when you hit them?

Speaker 2:

Now set new ones, I mean, I guess so.

Speaker 1:

I think you know, do the best job you can every day, and the rest will take care of itself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know, if you, if you just put that work in every day and you make those calls and you connect with your clients and you've got your cadence and your rhythm, goals in some ways are even limiting. I'm going to make this many placements, I'm going to open up this many accounts, Well then, what? Now you're going to sit back and say, well, I hit my number, so I'm done, Just do the work and the rest will take care of itself. That's all I think, Because then it becomes success and failure. And it's not about success and failure, it's about the process. It's about, as a quarterback, getting your reps learning maybe how to throw offhand, just learning new technique and enjoying the process, Cause that's that's what it's all about. The trophies and all that stuff, that stuff. To me it's all in the garbage. I don't even know what that stuff is. It's just it's. It's just, it's just stuff. All that you really have is your experience.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's, and those are great messages. Teach your kids for sure. You said something I want to go back to. Where did your um the grit to figure out, the grit of resilience to figure out? Well, if I'm going to get good wrestling, I need to go to the library. I mean, some, it was that taught that. That's that self-accountability, or is that just innate?

Speaker 1:

no, I think it just seemed. Seemed like a logical step.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know there's information out there. That's what I tell my kids. Look, my son he's. He's like me. He can't jump very high. I've got some attributes. Vertical leap is not one of them. Yeah, he wants to. He wants to be able to grab room one day. All right, here we go. You got plyometric drills all over, all over YouTube. Hit them, go, get them day in day out, your vertical will grow. Do the work.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, um, I think the grit and determination for me it just came from. You know, there's that that story of, like the, they take the soldiers to the Island and they got to get to the other side and then they burn the boats and they tell them Hey's, no going back, we burn the boats. There's only one way and it's forward yeah and if you're not going forward, then you're just, you're stagnant and yeah, complacency is a silent killer right, I think.

Speaker 1:

I think that's what it is. It's just just just enjoy the process of getting better. Whatever it is you do, did the Marine Corps teach you? That Probably really reinforced it, because the officers that I worked with my first couple of years were almost like de facto dads to me. They became guys who, you know. These guys were attorneys, then decided to go to officer candidate school and become Marines attorneys, then decided to go to officer candidate school and become Marines. So you know, to make it through law school is one thing and then to make it through officer training, you know the Marine Corps, is another thing.

Speaker 1:

And now to be trying capital murder and child pornography cases and drug cases, and you know they just get thrown into the fire. So these guys are just hard chargers and I couldn't sniff them. I mean I was just in all of the human beings that they were, so being around them, just rubbed off on me Like if I could, you know, take a shred of their discipline, uh, it'll serve me in in in, you know, tremendously. I mean I had guys who did come in the office at 5.00 AM start you know we get our PT session in they'd start working and at lunchtime they're running the six mile flight line, you know, and eating chow at their desk, like what you know, and then work until seven o'clock at night and then rinse, repeat every day and you just realize that the human, you know, our mind, is such a powerful tool. Yes, it is just there's so much untapped potential all the time, and to unlock it, uh, what's Jocko say? Uh, uh, discipline equals freedom. You know, the more disciplined you are, the more freedom you have, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I'm not the most disciplined human being, but in the ways that I do use it, it serves me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it comes back to choices, right. That's why I love um. You know, one of the things I was taught, I taught my kids, is the power of 1,440, which is the number of minutes in a day. No one gets more known, gets less. And so when people say, oh, I'd, I'd love to do it, I just don't have time, I said bullshit. Yeah, you do. It's a limiting belief. You can do it. You don't have you have. You can choose your time however you want. If you, if you don't, if you're not like, for example, like I want to read more, then go read more.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Spend less time on Facebook Right. Spend less doing whatever you're going to do, you know whether it's a game or like. If you want to do things, the power of like I've taught my kids is the power of like, like visualization. So it might not be goals per se. I mean some we do set goals, but like I just like visualization, like writing things down that I will do eventually, cause if I can see it, then I write it down.

Speaker 1:

It's like there's there's science that just the power of writing stuff like down, you can put into existence. I also played tennis a lot growing up and still play. I'm always visualizing you know visualizing perfecting or improving techniques. You know, and, yeah, if you can see it, then you can, I think will it into existence. Have you read the Inner Game? Oh, yeah, I love that book. Yeah, If you can see it, then you can, you can, I think will it into existence.

Speaker 2:

Have you read the inner game?

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, I love that book.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I just, I just uh for those at home, uh, it's, it's, it's about tennis. I don't play tennis, but it's about, uh, mindset and self-talk and whether you're in business development, sales, if you're a teacher, coach, policeman, it doesn't matter. We all have self-talk and we all have limiting beliefs. We all have too many thoughts, but a lot of those thoughts they would say 75 to 85% of those thoughts are negative each day. But it gives you tools to kind of figure out ways to self-manage that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I love. I just recently learned that. Um, you know, the question was is it better to have more positive thoughts or less negative thoughts? And the answer is less negative thoughts. And I catch myself all the time.

Speaker 2:

I've got my inner beat.

Speaker 1:

That's sometimes chirping in my ear and I just got to recognize it's chirping and just push through it and shut it down and just let it pass yeah.

Speaker 2:

If there's an area of your dad game that you feel like God, man, that's not where I quite want it to be, that you know, but something you can do to fix that. You know you can be a better dad. For me I have to always work on patience. Know you can be a better, better dad. Like for me, I have to always work on patience. Um, for for you, tell me what comes to mind for you and air your dad game that that area you might be able to get better at.

Speaker 1:

That might speak to other dads at home I, I think, trying to make the most of the moments and and be present. You know, when you shut down work. Shut down work when you, you know, eliminate the distractions, because nowadays we're all distracted. You can be distracted by so many things and you can be sitting in the room with your kid and not really connecting. So I think, just whether it's the car ride or the meal, it's just building the connection, activity too, getting out and doing stuff. You know, I think people are tired and everyone's got busy schedules and come the weekend, everybody wants to chill. But I think sometimes you gotta, you gotta mount up and say, all right, let's go hit a trail, let's go, let's go do something.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And Bill, we do a lot, but just just things that that don't involve structure, I guess yeah, it's important.

Speaker 2:

Um, I think so. So often we are, we live, it's this go, go, go, go go mindset and sometimes it is. It is nice to relax and just unchart and unwind, but it's also nice to create those memories right, and I want, we want we had. I had a great dad I interviewed this year, earlier this year, and he was always his thing was you know, do something your kids want to do. What's an activity they want to do? Not an activity that you want to do and you're going to make them do your activity. But maybe it's like, maybe if your daughter or son likes cooking, we'll go take a cooking class with them learn something with them.

Speaker 1:

Um, yeah, my wife does a great job with that. She gets out the recipe book they cook once or twice a week, pick, pick out a recipe. She's much better at that stuff than I am. But yeah, I agree, what do they want to do?

Speaker 2:

yeah, because, um, you know, I was lucky. My son loved playing golf as a kid. I'm a love, I love playing golf, so and so self-shift. For me, that was like a win-win. Yeah, I gotta play golf, he gotta play. My son loved playing golf as a kid. I'm a love, I love playing golf. So, and so self-shift, for me, that was like a win-win. I got to play golf, he got to play golf. Now he's playing golf in college, which is even more win. My daughter, she's an athlete too. I I sucked at basketball, but she's like really good at like rebounding with her. That's like our time to like talk and spend time and, um, teach mindset, teach hard work and yeah, yeah, I'm.

Speaker 1:

I'm coaching my son's basketball team right now, and part of the reason I started wrestling was because I knew I wasn't going to make the basketball team and. I had to do something. So it's funny, I'm coaching a sport that I, I can coach it, but I'm not a great clinician. Uh, and all I tell the boys every game is I said I don't, I don't care if we want to lose, all I care is that you guys fight All.

Speaker 3:

I care is that you fight.

Speaker 1:

If you guys go out there and fight for every loose ball and fight for every rebound and just be dogs, be a dog on the court Again, the rest will take care of itself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's, it's good. I always um. Teams always need scrappy people. They always need scrappy people. There's not everybody's going to shoot, Not every, and there's so many things in the game of basketball that can show up in a stat that you can truly impact the game that won't show up in a stat book.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that people don't realize and maybe this is my meathead mentality to me, basketball is a contact sport.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know, people think of football, wrestling, rugby as a contact. Basketball is a contact sport Grabbing rebounds, boxing out, defending, like. There's a lot of physicality in the game and I don't think that coaches teach that, maybe as much as they. They teach and they should be teaching skills, but the pros make it look so easy, I guess, is my point. They make it look like it's all slash and dash and you know hitting three pointers. But if you can be a dog out there, you, you can.

Speaker 2:

You can change the game uh, my daughter values defense more than offense there you go.

Speaker 1:

She's a dog yeah, she is.

Speaker 2:

Uh, there she, how you just described. That's her game. There's a loose ball. She's going head first. Um, she loves she usually gets put on the best defense, best player in their team and it's her job to try to lock them up. Yeah, and so I've taught her. It's like, yeah, you might the other, you might score six points, have an assist, have a rebound or two, but if their best player, who averages 15 or 20 game, only scores four, well, that's like scoring 20, almost preventing them from doing it, but it's always not going to show up in a stat book, right, I said coaches know honey they know, and then you have a reputation, you know and now other teams know you're the dog on the court, so now you're just in their head because you're a presence out there.

Speaker 2:

Well, it's funny, funny, you say dog. So when she was like in fifth grade, I said I said, hey, imagine, um, I want you to pretend you're a pit bull. We've never had a pit bull, I don't think we ever will have a pit bull, cause we like we're a golden tree, we're a family. But I said, imagine you're a pit bull and you've not eaten in like six months. Okay, and I have your leash when you step onto the court. I want you to visualize you're.

Speaker 2:

That goes back to choice and she gets that from my wife like I was. I was joking, you know football, I played hard for seven seconds, then I got a rest in the huddle, you know. But, like my wife, my wife's got great cardio and I think that's where my wife, my daughter, gets it from, from her. But, um, yeah, okay, um, talk about, actually, before I ask you a few additional questions, if you had to summarize kind of everything we've talked about, um, uh, you know, from from your ups, the downs, the challenges, the, the, the military experience, um, if you had to summarize kind of the, the key themes we've talked about, the dads can take from our episode today to really kind of apply to their own life, to kind of be maybe a better leader, better quarterback of their household.

Speaker 1:

michael, tell me what comes to mind again, I, I think it's just enjoy the process, do the best job you can every day and the rest will take care of itself. And sometimes, sometimes your best job right is a shitty day, and there's nothing wrong with that. Like, sometimes you're just going to have a day where you're, you're off, your energy is not good, your focus isn't good and you just you just got to make it through. But as long, I think, as long as you recognize that and do the best job you can, it's like the weather it all passes. Yeah, you know it'll. You just lift the fight another day. So, I think, enjoying the process, um, I think, like you said, always talk about curiosity and compassion I think are huge. Those things come across. Um, you can't put a price or a value on them. They build strong relationships. Um, and that's really what it's all about is the human connection that you can have with other people and hopefully have their backs and they'll have your backs and build, building, you know, building your squad love it.

Speaker 2:

That's good. I think it's important. When you said enjoy the process of being down, one thing that kind of came to mind was also just like um, just showing up, just be there.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes you don't have to say the right thing but if your kids know you're there, or ask them how to go. Today I stopped doing that. When I pick up my kids, I ask them I go. How are you doing? How are you doing? Not, how was class? Just checking in with them as a person. I think that's a real easy one, because then you'll, I don't know, it's not nothing happened today.

Speaker 2:

They're going to tell you how you're doing.

Speaker 2:

Well, this is. I don't know if you recall from our time when I spoke that one day. This is the framework of TED-based questions that I got taught at age 41. And for dads, if you don't know what this is they stand for, tell me, explain or describe. And then, when I, when I, when I, when my kids were your age to get them to talk better, I would use Ted based questions and I put a number in front of it. So I'd say, hey, tell me two things about your day that you loved.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I remember you talk. I had forgotten about the Ted. I liked the Ted is awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so they have to. Versus, because sometimes we say, hey, how you doing, I'm doing good, dad, right, and it's easy just to go on. But if I say, hey, well, tell me, tell me two things about your day that were great, well, this and that great, tell me more about that or describe.

Speaker 2:

Describe what that describe how it made you feel yeah, and it's funny when you just keep. That's where I always tell, like in my work world, but I use it on my family and my kids that second and third is where the gold is. That second and third level question is where the gold is. I could keep going on that forever because I'm a curiosity psycho. Talk to me about the Leathernecks in tech.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's a group I run for Marines here in, like New York City metro area. It's a LinkedIn group. We do, I'd say, quarterly happy hours. Get together, everybody works in technology in some capacity and there's really no agenda other than getting together, being able to powwow with some other Marines, and it's funny you get a group of Marines together being able to powwow with some other Marines, and you know it's funny, you get a group of Marines together and two minutes in they're telling stories right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And the common bond comes out and then, you know, eventually maybe they'll start talking about work or something. So it's just a networking group, you know, younger, older, everybody's sort of invited and um, super simple, just uh, just there to support each other. I'm actually grabbing dinner with two guys tonight, um from the group and um, one of them got me into jujitsu here in town and has been whooping up on me, so uh, uh. And then uh, another guy, wally uh, who lives in the town over, also uh, marine, he was a aviator or worked in avionics. Just again, just general networking, helping each other out opportunities and guidance and camaraderie nice, well, I'll sure we'll link that in the show notes.

Speaker 2:

If you got like a, there's like a LinkedIn. Is there a LinkedIn page you have for it?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You'll make sure that's LinkedIn Talk about then. Lastly, before we go on to some fun crazy lightning round stuff, if people don't know who Redstream is, and talk about what you do for them and how people can learn more about your guys' company.

Speaker 1:

Sure. So I mean from the top down. Sue Logan founded the company about 18 years ago in New York City and she is a maven of staffing, technology and understanding client needs. I mean the amount of things that I've learned from her in the last two and a half years, and a lot of it is the curiosity and the building so she started the company. We have an awesome group of clients. We're based in Columbus Circle in New York City, technology focused and don't take my word for it. I think there's like 500 five-star reviews on great recruiterscom or some crazy number like that. There's a high level of accountability for everything that you do. There's a lot of checks and balances and I think that the she makes sure that people learn the right way. Um, and it doesn't become fast food recruiting or fast food staffing. It's really comprehensive and and uh uh centered around strong relationships and understanding what the clients need and and giving them guidance.

Speaker 2:

Cool. Well, I'll make sure that's linked in the in the show notes too, so people can learn all about um. We'll tag Sue as well to make sure we give her some love, cause she's a. She's a fantastic, fantastic leader, fantastic female leader. Um. So, and I I've I've actually really enjoyed getting to know. I've actually connected her with a few other people, actually, one of my other clients, betsy. Her and Betsy just met recently. They took a picture together in New York and it was awesome seeing them together. But all right, if people want to follow you, they want to learn more about you. Maybe they're intrigued. Is there any other social platforms you're on that they can connect with you? If you want to, there's a marine out there that wants to connect you. Is there? Is there a place I can send them?

Speaker 1:

other than linkedin. Uh, I'd say linkedin's the best. I try to stay off the other stuff. It just, it just becomes a distraction. So linkedin, I'm always on there okay.

Speaker 2:

Well, michael, it's now time to go into the lightning round um where, where I ask you just random questions, I show you the negative effects effects of taking too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits. Your job is to hopefully answer these questions as quickly as you can, and my job is to try to get a giggle out of you. All right, all right. So, true or false. When you were a wrestling coach, your favorite move to teach your team was the DDT.

Speaker 1:

True.

Speaker 2:

I was a big fan of spiking guys, so okay, uh, true or false. Um you once um pinned a guy and then gave him a frontal wedgie. I'm losing.

Speaker 1:

I'm laughing at my own dad jokes I, I've gone, I've gone ahead. I I got thrown to my back once in college. My buddies never let me live it down. I was on my back, I was fighting like a grenade. I grabbed, twisted and pulled to get off my back. The guy he yells, he goes hey, get out of there, get out of there. He starts looking. The ref looks at me. I end up getting stuck. So yeah, I'm a dirty dog when it comes to that.

Speaker 2:

Or I won't.

Speaker 1:

No longer no longer.

Speaker 2:

Note to self we will never be wrestling, because I don't get manhandled like that. Tell me the last book you read.

Speaker 1:

Stillness by Ryan Conway. Right Holiday Holiday.

Speaker 2:

Yep, if I was to go into your phone, what would be the one genre of music that would surprise your?

Speaker 1:

teammates at Redstream oh, hardcore underground hip-hop Wow.

Speaker 2:

Let's go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, really just gritty.

Speaker 2:

There's the dog, there's the dog. If you were to go on vacation right now no kids, where are you and your wife going?

Speaker 1:

I'd like to do. Costa Rica Sounds great.

Speaker 2:

I've been there.

Speaker 1:

Jungle and some water.

Speaker 2:

That's a cool spot. If I came to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have? Rib eye Okay, sounds good. If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.

Speaker 1:

No shit, really Happened.

Speaker 2:

Okay, now no Shit. It Really Happened is a fantastic read, but now, everywhere I keep referring it to people, but no one can get a copy of it because it's selling out. It's selling out at airports, amazon can't print enough copies. Barnes, noble it's sold out there. And now Netflix wants to make a movie, michael, so you are now the casting director. Who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed, hit new movie?

Speaker 1:

Oh boy Me it can't be you.

Speaker 2:

It can't be you Someone else.

Speaker 1:

All right man. I'm not great with actors.

Speaker 3:

How about Wahlberg? Else all right, uh, man I'm not great with actors.

Speaker 1:

Uh, how about maybe adam sandler, only because he looks like me a little bit?

Speaker 2:

I could see that, sandler, let's go. Uh, okay. And then last question tell me two words that would describe your wife she's hot I've never got that answer.

Speaker 2:

That's fantastic. Lightning rounds over, I got obliterated, laughed at all my jokes, uh, which is what I do often, and if you get one laugh, it's keep you, keep it going. So if I keep laughing at my jokes, I'm gonna keep being corny and dumb. Uh, michael, it's been fantastic, uh, getting to know you, um, your, your, your journey of life from everything is is uh intriguing, um, it has me more curious, um, just obviously, just there's so many things you've been through as a dad which I think has shaped the person you are. It's um explains why you've probably been successful because you have perspective. You've seen so many different things around the world from your military days, but also just your, the things your mom taught you around, curiosity and even going through some of the difficult times you did as a child. But I wanted to thank you again for your time. It's been a really, really fun interviewing you and I wish you the best of luck, brother. But thanks again for being a guest on the Quarterback Dadcast.

Speaker 1:

Thanks, casey, it's all right.