The Quarterback DadCast

From Rugby Practice To Boardrooms: How A Dad Builds Confidence Without Fear - Dane Groeneveld

• Casey Jacox • Season 6 • Episode 331

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Thank you, Sabina Nawaz, for helping me find today's guest to finish up Season 6 on the Quarterback DadCast!

So, what if the best leadership training happens at your dinner table? We sit down with Dane Groeneveld—dad of four, CEO of LEAD3R, and host of The Future of Teamwork—to explore how raising kids, facing anxiety head‑on, and choosing curiosity over control can transform both families and companies. From eight schools across Australian mining towns to a newborn and teens under one roof, Dane shares the practices that keep his home grounded and his teams energized.

We dig into the messy middle: choosing therapy when a high‑achieving teen hits an anxious wall, stepping away from rugby to protect mental health, and having brave conversations about consent and sex without panic or shame. You’ll hear why the “car ride home” is the most dangerous coaching moment, how IFS “parts” language reduces shame and opens learning, and why stoic patience beats heat‑of‑the‑moment reactions. Expect tangible tools: the “I love watching you play” reset, TED questions that unlock specifics, and permission‑based coaching that turns advice into collaboration.

On the work front, Dane goes on offense against the myth of high performance at all costs. He lays out a model for healthy teams that still deliver results but no longer leave human wreckage behind. The three values guiding both his home and company—be human‑centered, be pioneering, and share in success—show up in simple, repeatable moves: assume positive intent, learn by building, and spread the win. We also trade stories about body language meltdowns on the golf course, 2 a.m. puppy chaos, and the quiet power of leaders who remove fear and instill confidence.

If you’re a parent, coach, or manager who wants stronger relationships and better outcomes without the burnout, this conversation is your playbook. Listen, share with a friend who needs a reframe on performance and parenting, and leave a quick review so more dads and leaders can find the show.

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SPEAKER_01:

Hi, I'm Riley.

SPEAKER_05:

And I'm Ryder. And this is my dad's show. Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast. Welcome to season seven. Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead. If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple. It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home. So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode of the Quarterback Jackcast. Well, everybody, it's Casey J. Cox with the Quarterback Jackcast, and I'm excited for another fantastic uh conversation with someone who I learned about through the wide world of LinkedIn. Um someone I was uh I went to one of her, I would call it workshops training in my corporate world. This is like circa seven, eight years ago. The woman only Sabina Nawaz, and she had she joined um our our next guest, today um Gruneveld. Hope I'm right. And uh I loved what they talked about, and I was like, man, this guy has got quite the background, and how have I not run across him? And so I did a little bit more research and found out he's a dad, which makes him a perfect, perfect person for this next podcast. But he's also a dad, he's also the future of teamwork podcast host. He's a CEO of Leader, which we're gonna hear all about, but more importantly, he is a dad, which makes me qualified to become on the quarterback dadcast. So with all that said, Dane, welcome to the quarterback dadcast.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks, Casey. I'm stoked to be here. Um being a dad is my favorite job. And uh it's interesting, like you were saying, pre-show, just the way that the uh the kids can have an influence on how you show up as a leader in all your other jobs in life, too.

SPEAKER_05:

100%. And I mean, I I uh there's a there's a lot we can dive into with that, but we always start out each episode with gratitude. So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh man, it's hard to stop on one thing. Um, I think I'm really grateful for this moment of uh having brought a fourth child into the world uh later in life and uh getting to learn from maybe some of my mistakes or some of the things I took for granted on the first few, and now I get to kind of do dad life all over again with a with a few older kids uh in tow. So I'm pretty grateful for that moment.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it. Love it. I actually interviewed someone else that had a a pretty big gap. He said, Man, I learned so much about myself.

SPEAKER_01:

Um big time.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, what I'm most grateful for, a couple things. One, uh, I joked with you before we start recording that this guy's a little tired, everybody. We decided uh to bring home a puppy. We got little Jane to the house, Janie to the house. Um, but my 19-year-old son is also coming home uh for the long Thanksgiving break here in two days. We're recording in November 18th. This website will come out in um a few weeks or so, maybe a month, depending on the schedule. But I'm excited to see him, grateful for him, and um just grateful for um the mindset test this is gonna give because uh it challenges my patience at night, man. And but I'm like, you know what? I have a choice to like either lead by example or freak out like Will Farrell in old school, which I'm not gonna do. But I'm grateful for that. So well, bring me inside uh the huddle from a football perspective. I want to know who talk about each member of the team and then how you and your spouse met.

SPEAKER_01:

So my family team? Yeah, sweet. Um yeah, so uh I was I started a business back in 20. What would that have been? 2005, six, um, with a couple of guys, and that was fun. But uh at some stage it became clear that we were all headed in different directions. So I went off surfing and traveling for a year, and I was living on a buddy's couch here in Carlsbad, California, and he'd only been married for about five weeks, and he lived in a one-bedroom apartment at the time, and his wife came out one morning and she said, You know, Dane, it's time that you find somewhere else to stay. And so they sent me down to of all places the banana bungalow at Pacific Beach, and that would have been early March 2007. And uh, you know what it's like when you're in a youth hostel, you kind of you're on a you're on a bunk, and uh the next day these couple of girls walk in for spring break, and and sure enough, Claire's one of those two girls. We meet, hang out all summer, and uh just decided, hey, I'm going back to Australia, but we've got to make this thing work. So we did the distance relationship for a while, got engaged straight away, and uh we've been married. My gosh, 2009 we got married. So it's been uh what's that 16 years now? So she's the number one on the team. Um and I always say if I hadn't have met her, I might have been out, you know, driving camper vans and building yurtts somewhere in the forest. Who knows?

SPEAKER_05:

Out by the river?

SPEAKER_01:

That's it, that's it. So so she helped me find a lot of reasons to get locked in on work because I needed to have a way to get here to the US and build a life and a family. Um my uh son, 14, high school freshman, Riker, uh daughter 12, seventh grader. She's running the LA Marathon this year, which I find crazy her choice. Um, so she's she's our family creative and introvert. So it was interesting that she chose distance running because that's a real grind, but she likes grinding through things. Um, and then I've got Waverly, my third daughter, sorry, third child, second daughter. Um, she's just about to turn eight in second grade, and then the baby Fayra. So she is the third daughter, and she's seven months today.

SPEAKER_05:

Wow. They got some sweet names, man. Who gets credit for that?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh we picked Riker up front, Dutch name, Dutch Heritage, and then we just my wife decided the kids all needed to have a Y in common, so we just went out looking for names with Y's. So my wife's definitely the uh the killer on the creativity side of our household.

SPEAKER_05:

My wife gets credit for my kids, our names Ryder and Riley. So they Oh nice. We're like Casey and Carrie, Ryder, Riley. It's like tongue twister in the household. Um yeah, I love those names. So you're but the the good news about your story, Dane, you got built-in babysitters, brother.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah, tell me about it.

SPEAKER_05:

Very strategic play there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, built-in babysitters, personal trainers. Like my son's teach my son's actually teaching me a whole lot about cologne and like how to keep my body clean. So it's like I'm all set up.

SPEAKER_05:

So I'm already have resisted my first dad joke, but I maybe I'll just do it to test my. I've already I was gonna say, was it Sex Panther by Odeon?

SPEAKER_01:

What was the I love that one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Made a bit several panther.

SPEAKER_01:

I think my son's bought more colognes in the last year than I have in my life in aggregate. Like he he like when he goes in, he goes all in. So he knows everything about the different smells and what goes with what, you know, heat, temperature of day, wow, vibe, you name it.

SPEAKER_05:

How do you get into that?

SPEAKER_01:

I I've got a feeling it's probably all YouTube and TikTok stuff, you know, following influences. He's always had a um a tendency to go deep on stuff when he gets interested.

SPEAKER_05:

Wow. Yeah, and so we got a we got a marathon runner, which is unbelievable. What tell me what tell me what keeps the other two busy? We got a young one that's not too busy yet. Well, she's busy but not in the activities. What is what is the third and the first one keep busy with?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh my son's a rugby player.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, so that's our team. And uh I'm lucky I live here on the beach, so they all like to go down to the beach a lot and go bodysurfing, bodyboarding. I haven't quite got them into surfing yet. That's more my thing than theirs, but I'll get there. Um, and then my seven-year-old, she's uh 728 Waverly, she is pretty solid on the piano. She's really liking her jujitsu right now, uh, which I think is a cool sport. Um just good discipline, good philosophy, you know, enough play. That's been one of my favorite sports to watch the kids in.

SPEAKER_05:

Wow. That's awesome. And probably structure and goal setting and adversity and grit. Yeah, a lot of grid life lessons. Yeah. Um, and does your is the wife got the most important job stay at home or does she work as well?

SPEAKER_01:

Right now she's staying at home. Um, although she's the president of the PTA, which is like unpaid work. Sometimes I think it's worse than having a paid job. Um, so she keeps pretty busy in the community, which has been great. Um yeah, but you know, traditionally she's had some different jobs, document control, and working in the construction industry around getting people's houses committed and built. Um we're lucky right now to be focused right on the family, particularly with four of them. It's it's a bit of a lift.

SPEAKER_05:

And near the beach, you had me at the beach. I love my my wife is a big beach girl, and I can't wait to well, I'm almost to be empty nester. I got a kid in college, and I almost have my my daughter's a senior.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

So we'll uh we we're gonna take now these two crazy dogs eventually to the to the beach. I'm I'm gonna go like old school RV, like Griswold and I mean cousin Eddie, and um just park it at a beach, take my golf clubs and take a road trip.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, let's go play golf when you do that road trip. I I would be right with you, but my wife grew up in Texas, so when she thinks RV or Van, she thinks trailer park. And uh she's not letting me go there yet. As much as I've got a van, she won't allow uh family overnights in it.

SPEAKER_05:

There we go. Okay, I always like to talk to my guests about um having them uh rewind the tape and and think about what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact that that mom and dad had on you from a values perspective.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I was super lucky. Uh it's a great question, Casey. I um I grew up in the 80s and early 90s in Australia, um, which was a pretty cool country. And dad was a mining engineer, so we moved around a lot, you know, building new plants, going and fixing plants and industrial relations problems, you name it. Um so I think I had about eight schools by the time I was 15, uh, jumped through a lot of different communities. And uh back in those days, I was telling a friend the other day on a different podcast. Um uh, you know, mining towns were more township, the town kind of got built around the mine, and people used to grow up kind of where the families would know each other, and we'd get together for holiday parties and other key events. So it just felt like you know, you were part of this really cool connected ecosystem. It wasn't quite as uh isolating as as how we find life today and and maybe even life in those times in bigger cities. Um, so I got a lot of time out in the community and I just enjoyed the fact that my parents gave me a lot of freedom. I could run around, grab a bunch of people, find things to play and do. Um, and you know, that was my that was kind of my jam. I I like just getting people together, whether it was we're going fishing, we're gonna get a game of cricket set up, we're gonna go make bows and arrows and run around and shoot each other. It was all good fun.

SPEAKER_05:

So eight different schools.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

What was the hardest part about that?

SPEAKER_01:

I think the hardest part of going into new schools is um you don't really have any grounding. You don't have that core group of friends that you go to when things are stuck. Um, you're constantly having to reinvent yourself, change. You know, when you're a kid growing up in rural Tasmania and then you show up in city Sydney and you dress like you're from somewhere else, um you got to change pretty quickly how you dress, the language you use. So you're making changes that in adult life are a little bit easier to navigate, but at you know, seven, nine, eleven, it it really throws you into it. Um, but but the hard work's worth it because I think it also then creates a resilience. You kind of you start to work out a bit more about yourself and how you drop in and find people and fit in and you know, get accustomed to whatever the culture or or the go-ings on are the local sports, you know, different sports in different states back there too.

SPEAKER_05:

So a mining engineer, and and how often would you move?

SPEAKER_01:

Like with uh it was every couple of years. Um I would move schools in between for different reasons, but yeah, it was probably like every couple of years.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. And tell me about mom.

SPEAKER_01:

Mom was a nurse. Um she came from a big family up in Queensland, like a pioneering family up in the hills. Um, so lots and lots of cousins, uh, and um, you know, just good family values, great artist, cook, very uh as you see from a lot of nurses, very caring, very engaged in the community. Um, so while dad was out doing the big tough technical stuff, she was keeping everything else moving in the right direction. So it was it was a good combination.

SPEAKER_05:

Did you have siblings?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I had uh and I still have a brother, Jordan, and a sister, Katya. So they're about two and a half years younger, and then another two and a half years younger. So they were following around um doing a lot of their own stuff, and and uh it was also fun because you know, when you move, you kind of take your team with you. So um we would go out and find ways to play together when we'd go into new places, and uh I think that created some really cool cohesion in the family, which I've been trying to continue in my own family.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, as you as you think back on this journey, which others I can think of a lot of like it might have been hard, but as you reflect back and as an adult, you probably think of man, there's so many life lessons I learned through that journey that I maybe I've thought about, maybe I haven't. But like if you think about like the must-haves that dad and mom said, Hey, this is who we are as a family, and like lessons you learn, maybe through a story, tell me what comes to mind.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that's a great question, Casey. Uh, must-haves. I mean, we did a lot of family holidays. It was like it's just us, and we're gonna go out, and the kids are gonna have to find a way to entertain themselves because mom and dad are gonna turn some music on, cook some food, and relax. Um, and so a lot of our holidays back in those days were super simple. You know, it wasn't going and seeing cool places, it was like getting on a boat and floating it down a river somewhere or going camping. Um, so I think that was a really cool grounding in life, just being able to be self-sufficient and go out and have fun doing really simple things as a family. And eating was always important when mum and dad would let us at the dinner table. Um, you know, when they when they'd had their own time, um, we would do a lot of uh a lot of family eating and game playing again, because you know, back in the 80s and 90s, you don't have cell phones. You there isn't a TV on a small boat. Um, so you play a lot of card games and do a lot of fishing and a lot of imagination games. So I think that was a really good good ground in good family uh tradition.

SPEAKER_05:

What was the favorite card or is it a card game or board game?

SPEAKER_01:

We used to play 500 back in those days. I don't know if you're familiar. Great game.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that was that was the game.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, there's a lot of good games that like, you know, I think COVID during that shit show, um, Todd. Like we we we we got into cribbage, got into some old school sorry. Uh you've heard of heard of a game called Aggravation.

SPEAKER_02:

No.

SPEAKER_05:

My grandma made me this game. It's like it's like a imagine like a two-foot by two-foot board that has like a um like a hospital sign, like, but they're little small little spots where like marbles would go. It's kind of like sorry, but with marbles, and uh we played that forever and like vacations for me were camping.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Old school.

SPEAKER_02:

It's great.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, you see my dad throwing beers back and me on the bike just roaming wherever I wanted to go. And um, but yeah, and it's like, and then it's like then I the life, the journey I went through in my corporate journey, you know, I always was worried about because we we would we traveled a lot more than I traveled as a kid. And so I and I wanted to make sure that being grounded and humble and hard work and you know, it doesn't matter where you came from, you can still be a great person and good or bad. And so just trying to teach those, and I always I'm a big believer, I don't know if you do this, Dane, but like I like I like sharing in my stories of failure or yeah, or maybe risks, or where I got in trouble, just so they realize that hey, mom, because I think sometimes kids they think, oh God, must be so nice, dad, mom are perfect. It's like, dude, I'm far from it, bro, brother. Yeah. Um, as they're getting older, it's a lot more fun to hear them ask questions and like, man, that was that must have been hard, you know, things like that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I actually like that a lot. I think that I don't know what you found, Casey, but I think that's a bit of a generational shift. I grew up thinking mom and dad were perfect and had all of their shit together. Um, and then now as a dad, I'm much more open on sharing the struggles and and some of the pleasures as well along the way. Um, and being more uh uncensored, I guess, around the kids.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I mean, I think they're gonna learn about it either on social media, they're gonna learn about school. And so I think if you can kind of get ahead of it and and in the narrative. Actually, I was guilty, my wife and I were guilty, me specifically, of the of the guy that was doing too much for my kids.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I showed this openly on this on this podcast before, where I read a I had a great guest um by a guy named Swen Nader.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05:

And uh he wrote a book called Uh You Have N If You You Have Not Taught Until They Have Learned. And he played basketball for a guy named John Wooden. People might have heard.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And so like I when I heard that, I'm like, dude, I gotta interview this guy. And I somehow got to him, and his but I was that dad doing too much. I was a dad that was, you know, like, hey, what are we having for dinner? Or making lunches where I didn't need to, or doing laundry. I was doing, I'm like, wait a minute. No, we're in COVID, bro. You make your own lunch.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And I would I didn't go like, you know, to child protective services, like complete opposite end of the spectrum, but I was like, wow, I was doing way too much for my kids. And so I liked it, it was a nice kind of wake-up call for me and them of like, we don't have magicians in the house that magically unload the dishwasher and magically make the clothes come out of the dryer perfectly.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's interesting. I I've definitely my wife and I have fallen into that trap in the past. I think having a fourth baby forced us into it's time for everyone else to start picking it up a little bit right now.

SPEAKER_05:

Help out, team. We got to go to a zone defense here.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. I I think one of the things that I really like maybe over-index for with the kids is are they getting the opportunity to just kind of go out there and have that like unstructured time, have that fun, take some risks? And so um at times I think I've I've been guilty of like trying to curate or encourage stuff, um, and not wanting them to be stuck back at home doing chores. Yeah. Um, so it's it's interesting. Like, oh, you guys want to go out to the beach and have a bonfire with your friend? Sure, let's just go, even though all the all the dinner plates are still out there. Um, so it's it's interesting kind of getting that balance.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Well, there's one someone said re perfectly to me recently, they said, you know, being a dad, it's the only job where you don't have to have a license or pass a test.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you're not wrong.

SPEAKER_05:

Just go have sex and somebody, hey, welcome aboard, you're the dad.

SPEAKER_01:

You're there, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Kind of it's like pretty eye opening. It's like there's no manual. Uh we're all doing our best. We hope to do our best. We're all trying our best.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, but if you don't, if you don't know, like that's why I think I encourage. Like one thing I always like to do is the power of vulnerability. Sometimes ask for help as a dad.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, learn from others. And I think sometimes our male ego gets in the way where we don't want to admit what we suck at, which shout out dads. We all suck at a lot of different things.

SPEAKER_01:

A lot of stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Hate to be the bearer of bad news. Yeah. Um, okay, so I'm guessing mom taught what taught us empathy. Yeah, caring, dad taught us grit hard work. Um dad too. Is there is there anything else? Maybe a time where you you got in trouble or really you learned a lesson that has impacted you as a dad that maybe shaped the way you parent your kids?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, so much. Um it's really interesting. I think uh I think moving to England, I'm I went to boarding school when I was 15. And that was a big shift, both you know, you're no longer really under your parents' roof, and I'm in England, I'm 15, I can get into pubs, I can get into trouble real quick. Um, and so I I think there were some interesting moments there that have shaped parenting both sides, like where maybe I felt my parents were too strict, and then on other times when I thought they were too oblivious to some of the shit I was getting into. Um, so that that's been interesting. I think I'm a little bit more eyes wide open on how quickly my kids can get into trouble, but at the same time, I'm being careful not to be too draconian or strict to kind of push them into the trouble. I want them to share it with me more openly. And um a great story recently. I was in the car with my 14-year-old son, and he's interested in girls. Now he's at high school, and he meets this girl and he starts having this really open conversation with me about sex and you know who might initiate it, and what if one person wants it more than another? I was like, this is the coolest conversation. I never had conversations like this with my dad at 14. So I think I think that was just a moment of affirmation of having built that trust and and kind of position that, hey, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give you the opportunities. I'm not gonna be too strict, give you opportunities to go out and play and explore and be you. But I'm also kind of here and I know kind of how some of this stuff plays out. So, you know, let's let's talk openly about it.

SPEAKER_05:

How do you what if you can think about like tell me what do you what did you do, or as you reflect on that story, like that maybe a dad at home can learn from, like, what did you do and your wife do to get him to be able to want to open up like that?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, we've actually done a lot of work with Riker because back at you know 11, 12 years of age, um, he was struggling with some sort of you know generalized anxiety, like a lot of the generation is, and a little bit of OCD, maybe, hence the cologne collection. Um, and so we've had to really go in to do some therapy. We stepped out of rugby for a season, really created some space for him. And we did a lot of learning as a family around um, you know, kids these days, particularly in the US, they feel like their value is so heavily attached to their performance, their self-worth is my grades, how I performed at the weekend in the game of soccer or baseball, how I played the guitar, what YouTube video I made, how many followers I got. And and so, with that sense that kids are failing to just value who they are intrinsically, you know, what their own form is that they bring to life, um, we started shifting very much to let's talk about experiences, let's talk about fears, let's talk about hopes, um, let's talk about fun. We just over-emphasized fun. So, and and we were helped through that with a brilliant uh therapist at the time. Um and uh I'll have to remind you of a couple of conversations that were less comfortable in that framework, but um, but you know, they helped us a lot. So we got to a point where we started talking very honestly about emotions and around anxiety and around what's possible and and what things really mean. You know, I think parents of generations gone by have used fear a lot.

SPEAKER_05:

Um companies are too.

SPEAKER_01:

Companies too, yeah. Fear is a and churches. I mean, there's there's a lot of people that have leveraged fear to uh to drive behavior, but that actually drives kind of a blind behavior, not not a knowing behavior. And I think we've definitely leaned into more knowing behaviors um by just talking about these things and and trying to normalize you know life, you know, whatever that might look like.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it, man. That's one you made me think as so the work I do in with companies, I always tell like leaders of companies or sales leaders, like you're in my opinion. I'm not saying I'm right, just one man's opinion, the rifle age of almost 50. I said, your job is to remove fear and instill confidence. Yeah. It doesn't matter what they're doing, be the best janitor, the best barista, best sales leader, best accountant. It's the same thing with kids. It's like, why wouldn't we want to be their best version themselves? And so I think what you did, well, a couple things. One, I love um, I've had interviewed a lot of dads where they've they've openly shared, man, we went and talked to a therapist and it was awesome. And they're experts. Why wouldn't you want to go talk to them? Right? It's like if if you either can fly your, you can think you can fly the plane and crash in the ocean, or you can hire a pilot and let them get you there safely. Same thing like raising kids. So shout out to you and your wife for um seeing that as an opportunity. And I don't know if this is the if the podcast is the right time, but those less comfortable conversations that is is now the time, or should we make it?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I'll give you one, which is funny, right? Because going back to growing up, my dad's a very physical man, and I grew up in a time when parents put a lot more hands on kids. So my dad never abused me, but he scared the living daylights out of me many occasions. And you know, him and mom were a great one to act on when the belt or the soap or something might be coming. I think the threat was a lot worse than the reality. But I had friends' mums running after me with an ironing cord or a wooden spoon, whacking me back in those days if I was misbehaving at their houses. So it was just a different time, right? And so when I started raising my kids, I wouldn't be afraid to put a hand on a child. And it wouldn't be like a big smack, but it might be like I'm gonna grab you by the shoulder and and and get into your physical space. Maybe I'll push you against up against the wall and say, Whoa, slow down now. We're having this conversation, right? So I'd had one of those moments with my son, and he reacts very badly whenever I exert that type of behavior. And uh, we went into the to the therapist's office to have a check-in, and particularly around that event, because it had caused a lot of stress and strain. And uh she talked us through, and at the end, um, she was like, It's my responsibility to let you know that as a mandated reporter, if I see him come in with bruises, I'm gonna have to report it, blah, blah, blah. Which I took great offense to. Like, I love this kid, I'm his dad, I'm not gonna hurt him. I appreciate that that is what the safety net is set up for, but I just didn't think it was delivered at the right time. And let's be honest, I come from Australia where we look at Americans and therapists as a little bit of a thing. Like, is it real? Like, is this just a cool thing to do? So I've already got a bit of a chip on my shoulder there. So I'm kind of triggered, and she hits me with this thing, and I just went red mist. And my wife looks at me and I just look at the therapist, and I'm like, you know, the good thing is that after four years at boarding school, I know how to hurt people without leaving a bruise. Which probably just sent me deeper into the hole. Right. Definitely with my wife, and certainly with the therapist.

SPEAKER_05:

So yeah. But that's a that's a great life lesson, too, I think, on the power in reading the room.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, the the you know, when when when to communicate certain things, and and I I thought you were gonna say, like, because he plays rugby. Well, he's always gonna bruise on himself.

SPEAKER_01:

So he Well, that's another angle. Yeah, he's gonna come home with a few anyway.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. So it's like um what what was what was now is this was this a like a one-time thing, or do you do you find that like it's still comfort, I mean, healthy to keep keep meet with him?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's a good question. We for a time we were like every other week for probably a year and a half to get through a a period of a season of life, like getting into adolescence and also just dealing with some of those challenges. And I'll put my hands up. Most of the trauma that was playing out in his anxiety was from my parenting style. I would I was calling the shots wrong. I was coming down often as a busy, you know, executive dad that was stress-triggered, would respond in the moment and be a little bit loud or a little bit heavy. Um, so we worked through that. And uh, and as a coach, when you coach your own kids, I'm sure you've done this, Casey. Sometimes that can create some different trigger points. Um, so you know, that that was something that we worked through. And as we'd work through that, had that season off rugby, came back and learned some different methods for coaching and for just being. Um, we scaled it back to, I think, once a month now. And actually it's become far more because they went through that hard work, it's become far more interesting now because now they're kind of not friends, like she's still doing real work with him, but she's a safe place for him to go and have a chat around, you know, a girl that he's interested in, or a social dynamic with some friends starting to get into drugs or whatever's going to be going on. Um, it's it's probably a relationship that once upon a time we had with the older brothers and sisters of friends or aunts or uncles or other people. Um, so I I actually still find it healthy and we're privileged to be able to invest in having that support.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it. Um, you know, it's funny you said that I it made me think of a couple things that have that have worked for uh for me in my dad journey. So when I was coaching my son in sports, I coached him in basketball, not basketball, I coached him in flag football, um baseball. And so when we would we would coach baseball, me and my one of my best buddies, I mean his name is Steve. I said his son's name is Riley, my son's name is Ryder. So I was like, you got Ryder, I got Riley.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and switched.

SPEAKER_05:

And we would say, Hey, don't look at your dad, look at me, I'm your coach. And we and we were both like college athletes, so we could fair but firm and teaching hard work and being honest and being accountable. And it's okay to not know everything, but we're gonna do something about it together.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, and so now when I as when my kids are older, I say, Do you want to be dad or do you want to be coach? What what role do you want me to play?

SPEAKER_01:

That's a great one. I love that.

SPEAKER_05:

And because dad, my my the job is don't be the car ride home dad where you get them in the car and you freaking light them up and they really push back. It's more just like I through this podcast journey met a guy, a great guy named Bruce Brown, who wrote a like a really, really powerful article about the car ride home. And yeah, if you've heard about it, it's it's like I haven't, but it's a powerful moment. Well, it so he interviewed like hundreds and I mean, maybe even thousands of um college, high school pro athletes. And they said, What you know, what was the number one thing you loved most about your journey? What was the number the number one biggest thing you hated? And the number one answer was the car ride home.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

It's like it'd be like you or I, you know, we have a tough day at corporate, our our kids aren't grilling us on our god dad, your your words per minute typing was down like 14. What's up, man? Shit, you didn't handle that objection roll in that sales call. What you really suck ass.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm like, no one's doing it on purpose. So it's like instead, what he teaches is just say, Man, I love watching you play. Yes. Love. Even if you're super frustrated, maybe some dads get embarrassed by their behavior. Or I mean, I've been embarrassed by my kids. I'll tell a story in a second about this. And but like, you gotta help them. They can't figure out by themselves. And so they what this article says, and what Bruce teaches, it says if your kid cares about that sport, that activity, that theater, whatever it is, he or she will come to you and they care and they'll say, Hey, I'm really frustrated. And that's what you have to say. Tell me more about it. Not like, I'd be frustrated too. You sucked. How'd you make that air at third base? Just listen.

SPEAKER_01:

I've seen that. Yeah, I've seen too much of that. That's really interesting. And I love I love the framing um of using that moment in the car. But I also sense going into that frustration piece, one thing that's helped me a lot is this um, I think they call it IFS, internal family systems, but it's parts, like there's parts of you. And both my coach and and my son's therapist have talked about it before, which is um when my son would come to me and say, Hey dad, I was really frustrated I wasn't tackling the way I wanted to be tackling tonight. I'm like, okay, rather than getting straight into that, because there's a bit of shame and fear and concern. I'm like, okay, so a part of you is frustrated that you weren't tackling. Where's a part of you that's excited about something that happened at practice tonight? And so we would kind of zoom back out and have a conversation about what was exciting, what was frustrating, what was new, what did you, what did you, what were you surprised by? And I think being able to just go go using one of your values of curious and just go into curiosity mode and not to sit there and fix or solve actually just lowers the temperature of that car ride home, too.

SPEAKER_05:

A thousand percent, ma'am.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, CEO of Tier 4 Group, a women-owned and diversity-certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the U.S. At Tier 4 Group, relationships are at the heart of everything we do. Whether it's with our clients, our candidates, our vendor partners, or with each other, our mission is to go beyond transactions and create long-lasting partnerships. We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent. And that starts with truly understanding our clients and candidates. It's not just about filling roles, it's about fostering success for the long term. This is the recipe for success that's landed us on the Inc. 5000 six consecutive years and has us outpacing our competition across the country. And I'm thrilled to support Casey Jaccox's podcast. Casey's philosophy aligns perfectly with ours, prioritizing relationships over transactions. His insights on building trust, empathy, and connection resonate deeply with the way we do business at Tier 4 Group. We were honored to have Casey as our keynote in our 2024 kickoff, and all of our new hires read his book, When the Relationship Not the Deal, when they start here with us. So if you're looking for a partner who values relationships as much as results, visit us at tier4group.com or connect with me, Betsy Robinson, directly on LinkedIn. And while you're at it, keep tuning into Casey's podcast. You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally. And as Casey always says, stay curious.

SPEAKER_05:

I think we also talked about performance and outcome and how kids and I think so. My son, he plays golf in college. He's second-year, second-year sophomore and um plus two handicap.

unknown:

Wow.

SPEAKER_05:

Pretty good player. There's it's amazing how good some of these players are. And there, and he he's, I would say, at the time he's the he could be the one, but he's more like the three or four on this team right now.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And um, which it really doesn't matter because they all got to play the same tournament anyways. But uh he went through this little stretch where um he just was in a funk, like he, which golf does, it humbles us without knowing. And he's like, I mean, he couldn't break 80 for like four ounce. Wow. And for him, that's like really bad. Now, most golfers be like, oh my god, I'd love to break 80. And we were down in a tournament recently, and um the first day he didn't play, he hit it pretty well, but just didn't score well, shot like an 82. Yeah, body language was great. The next day hit it fantastic. Uh, the last three holes he went five over, had just some fluke weird stuff happen, but his body language sucked.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And if you you want to see me, Dane, go to freaking the moon and rage and internally, I don't like freak out. Body language. It's it's it's self-talk, body language. And I always tell him, like, if you're playing bad, don't no one wants to play the dick. Yeah, it's no, it's not their fault. And guess what? It doesn't define you. I said, buddy, if whether you shoot 66 or 89, there's two things I'll guarantee. I'm gonna love you more than more tomorrow than today, yeah, and the sun's gonna come up. Yeah, and this is all gonna end one day. And and if you think you're gonna play pro golf, awesome. Prove me wrong. I don't think you will, but prove me wrong. And it's funny, man. Like he the last round he played um out of his mind. Played like he shot 76 with a triple. Wow. He was playing great. And but that night we had the best dinner. And I mean, some so many people in life, you some nights you could say, What do you do? I'm like, he finished probably bottom third of the tournament.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

But it was the best, and I was the most proud of him because uh I don't have to give tough love very often, but I told him, I said, Hey, I just want to let you know, uh, tough love is coming, and it's and I'm gonna say some things that might hurt your feelings, but it's coming from love. And we we chatted through it and we had tears.

SPEAKER_02:

Brilliant.

SPEAKER_05:

And and I told my wife, like, I'm so glad he cried. She's like, Why would you say that? I go, honey, because it's been he kept this in for so long and now it's out. Yeah, and the next day he sent me like the niceties out of you have no idea how much you need that. Appreciate you guys' support. Because I told him, I'm like, listen, dude, I should I should be at a conference right now speaking, generating income for our family. But I chose you, yeah, and I chose you because I don't want to regret not being there to support you, and because I love you, and I think it's so cool to be able to watch your son play golf in college, but I didn't take off work to watch this, yeah. And that's what really stung. And he goes, As much as it hurt dad, I'm so glad you told me that. And and that was kind of a scary moment for me as a dad because I was like, shit, I'm gonna light him up, and I never have to do it. But it was like sometimes where I think we get scared to do that, but if it's done the right way, yeah, and um, I just reminded him like for golf, I said, your most dangerous golf club in the bag is your mind.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, it's such a mind game, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, I love that there's three things that you did there, which I think is awesome. Um one I love and and this is a powerful one. Um I love that you said whether you shoot 66 or 86, I'm gonna love you more tomorrow. Like it sounds obvious as a dad, but it's not obvious to the kids, particularly in this era where they're also hyper focused on performance. So I think just double clicking on that is awesome. And then I love the fact that you didn't put expectation or value on going pro. Hey, you might go pro, prove me wrong if you want, but it's not like it would be awesome if you got there, or it would mean this, or it would mean that. Um, I love that it's kind of his journey, his choice to make. And then the third one, I do like the firm love. I do like the calling out because you've got to pick when you call the kids out. I love that it was more of a hey, there's there's a conversation coming, you framed it. But so often, whether it's in family or in our teams at work or in our teams in the community, we either are afraid to have the hard love or we bring it at the wrong time with the wrong emotion. So I think just the timing of that's epic.

SPEAKER_05:

I appreciate that. Well, you're I mean, this for the corporate data out there or the Corporate mom or whoever's listening. Um, feedback's a gift.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And it's a skill. And I think we have to remind, we have to always meet our employees where they are, we have to meet our teams where they are, meet our employ our kids where they are. It's not, I always tell my kids I have zero eligibility left. Dad's done playing quarterback. Yeah, yeah. I just now make fun of myself and of like Uncle Rico jokes. I am out of eligibility. So you if you but I I know what it's like to play college sports, so I can help you if if you choose to leverage me, but if you're not, I'm not gonna do the work for you. It's but it's gonna take a lot of hard work.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, and so again, it's like you I don't know, that's where it's fun to, and I've learned so much about myself in this podcast journey. I'd say the one thing that I've gotten better at in this journey is patience because that's my way back as a dad.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Patience is really interesting. I don't know how you found it, Casey, but patience is not a virtue in my life. Um and and like my sense of urgency has a shadow side, which is like I just bust through walls and just chase stuff, and that comes at a cost. Um, in fact, I used to, whenever I used to interview new employees, I used to say, hey, do two things for me and you'll do great here. One, be impatient, and two, be vocal. So I don't, so who knows how much chaos I've created out there. It's time to put some of that right. But as I as I focus on finding patience, a lot of that that that's really hitting me is that someone said it to me the other day. Um, when an event happens, the event doesn't create an experience. Your response to the event creates the experience. And the more I lean into patience, I follow a lot of like the stoic um philosophy. Then when the event happens, I don't react immediately. I take a minute and I walk around it and I think who might be implicated, involved, impacted here. And and by not making such a big deal out of that missed tackle or you know, my office getting flooded or whatever else, I can create an environment and experience that actually allows people to kind of not go into reaction or self-preservation mode.

SPEAKER_05:

So good. Event, I mean, we either respond or react. I always say we listen to learn versus listen to persuade. Yeah. But like you this is has nothing to do with what we've been talking about, but it's you made me think of this. It's like last night I had to put what you just said to the test. Two o'clock in the morning. It was my I I'm taking the night shift on the puppy. I go down, I'm like, what in the Sam's hell reeks? She dropped two enormous deuces in her crate.

SPEAKER_03:

Damn.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm like, oh my God. Now, my wife is a saint and she's like way more patient than I am. But I literally said, I was like, I didn't want to be Frank the tank, and like, we gotta keep our composure. I'd like to take a deep breath. I'm exhausted, so is she, but I'm but this is a two-man job now. Yeah, so I'm like her two-woman job. I'm like, I woke up, I'm like, hey honey, I know that we're sleeping, but I need some help. She's just shit herself. Yeah, we got an alarm going here, and we kind of just laughed about it. And like, listen, we just gotta promise, like, when it gets hard, we're a team. Yeah, we are a team and treat your teammates well. Don't you know it's and it wasn't like it was her idea to have the dog do that. Correct, yeah, it is what it is, and and I think when we have those moments as dads, our kids are watching.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And that's funny, I I'm on Snapchat with my kids, which I only got on Snapchat because of the podcast. That's another story. But I sent a snap to my son this morning. I said, Hey, rough night last night. Janie shit herself, and uh was a tough one. He's like, Hey dad, we all gotta learn somehow, just like you and I. That's awesome. You know, so it's pretty um okay. Well, we've gone all over the place here, but if you think about you know your wife's journey that she's been on, your journey that you've been on as a dad. Um talk about like the three most important values that you both hope to teach your kids once they leave the they leave the nest.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a good question. I don't think we've been very intentional about that yet. Um But there's three there's three values in my business life that I've been pursuing. I would call them more aspirational, although they get a little more real every day. And I actually think the more I do work, you know, on myself, on my business, on my family, I I start to see the kind of Venn diagram fall into one circle. So I think there's some alignment. Um, so while these aren't the words, the the spirit is one to be very human-centered. Like we're moving into this technological age, but to double down on being human is to give people the benefit of doubt. You know, we played this really cool game called Multiple Meetings that Sabina uh actually introduced to me on our podcast, and we do it as a family now. When someone does something that surprises you rather than going, oh, what a jerk. We're like, I wonder what might be happening for them today for them to behave like that. So being human-centered, that's a good example of I think what we want our kids to take forward. Um the second one is be pioneering. And I think we live in a world right now where um there's some great authors out there on uncertainty, Maggie Jackson, um Simone Stolzov, both people that I've worked with in that space. And in a world of uncertainty and anxiety, we need to build through, we need to learn through building. We need to go out and actually do things. It's easy to sit there and go, I can YouTube and TikTok and whatever else, but you've got to go out there and do it and have the interactions and build some muscle memory, learn from putting your hands on the hot stove. So definitely encouraging the kids, Claire and I, to um to go out there and try and build some stuff, do some stuff and learn from it and connect with cool people on that journey. And then I would say the third one, uh, which is one of my favorites, which is share in success, which means that it doesn't mean, you know, if you have financial success, make sure you're looking after people. It can mean that. But it's also like, hey, if you have a win, if you find a cool place to go eat, or whatever it is that you find, a great time of the day to go to the beach, like go and tell some people, hey, that sandbank down there is working real great right now. Do you want to try and get on it tomorrow? Like it's nice to have something to share with people. And I think I think those three things in business, in family, uh raising kids, that that they seem to be very off at the moment. They give me a lot of energy.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it. Those are, even though you said you haven't been intentional, those are pretty freaking intentional. I love it. Those are good. Um, you know, one thing that I learned on my entrepreneurial journey, um, something called TED-based questions. Oh, tell me, tell stands for tell me, explain, describe. Um, they're like superpowers in business and relationship building. Um, and I actually practice those on my kids. Um, and I've told them I even I put a number in the question, which actually makes it they have to give me specifics. If I say, hey, tell me about your day. It was good. Hey, tell me two things that made you smile today. Uh totally different way to ask questions. Yeah. Um, and so like when you were saying the success, I love that because I always believe that stories sell slides don't. And when you if before I'm gonna tell a story or share that success, I like asking a question. So I might say, like you're saying is, hey, tell me, would it be okay if tell me would you be interested in hearing like when the waves are the best on this beach?

SPEAKER_01:

That's cool, because then they're engaged and they're locked in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Or tell me, would it be helpful if I shared a story where dad went through that similar challenge?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

It's like you're crazy, and if they did say no, then I'd say, tell me why.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm leaning in on curiosity more. And I just wish I learned the power of curiosity in my 20s. I was always curious, but not to the psychotic level I am now.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, but it's like I always joke, it's like, remember like Nintendo back in the day, like you go like up down, up down AB, AB like on like Contra, like the cheat codes. Yeah, it's totally. It's like cheat codes for relationships, but it's like it's right there if we just listen.

SPEAKER_01:

I heard uh Matthew McConaughey on with Drew Barrymore the other day, and and he was like, a friend of his had told him this, and he was just like, when you've got your teenagers at home, it's it's really important to connect and engage with them. And he was like, This is a good question. It's like, tell me what it's like to be a teenager living in today's world, and it is it is so activating and encouraging. Um, and it's it's very human too.

SPEAKER_05:

We're all the thing we have in common, I always tell this to people, and I try to remind myself, we're all flawed.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And we're all doing our best. And so we might as well help each other. And I think what you said being human-centered, and the power of the benefit of the doubt is a really underused value or quality in life that like we just we just respond so quick. Like, what the uh what's I mean? Yeah, like I had I just had a buddy's wife die of cancer, you know, and I've had four four other dad buddies, buddies or acquaintances lose their wives to cancer. Scares the shit out of me, man. I'm like, God, why am I getting prepped? Is the universe was God trying to teach me, hey bro? You know, I'm just like, it just scares me. It's like so. I try to like for myself, again, no one's perfect. We all freak out and overreact at times, but like just in the big scheme of things, what it is it really worth it right now.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, and most likely it's not. Life, things will pass, but yeah. Um, this has been awesome. I wanna I want to transition before we go into some fun lightning round. Um, yeah. So I think I loved how you I'm making sure your podcast is linked because I I love the way you ask questions and um Sabina was I thought a fantastic show, and I love that she called me out. Like, leave me your comments. I'm like, I did. I I watched the whole thing and learned about soul and all that stuff. And so um tell us about how people can learn more about you, your podcast, your business, what you're up to so people can can connect with you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, I'm big on LinkedIn. It's Dane with the kangaroo in the middle, then Gruneveld, um the future of teamwork uh.com, and we're on YouTube and Spotify and uh Apple and all the rest of it. Um, our business leader uh is doing some really cool stuff. So that's LEAD3R.com. We're doing some real cool stuff around the Healthy Team Summit. I'm actually uh on the offensive. I'm on attacking high performing teams because I think high performing teams have a tendency to leave a trail of human wreckage. So we're really diving into we like performance, but we don't like the traditional high performance at all costs that we've seen in a lot of corporate America or corporate world. Um, so we're really trying to explore not fluffy stuff, but like what are ways to activate teams and um to make sure that people are going home energized, they're going home um activated and with skills and and belief and confidence that they can take into being a great mum or dad or son or sister or rugby coach or church member or side hustle buddy partner in crime. Like I think that's a ripple effect that we're really excited to see. So there's there's gonna be a lot more uh research and activity in that space in the in the weeks and months ahead.

SPEAKER_05:

What out of curiosity, what drove you to that and how'd you get into it?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh so my name's Dan Grunewald and I'm a recovering high-performing team leader. Okay, right. So I think so many of my guests have come through this journey of like, hey, I ran into this moment I'm not proud of. Um, and I don't want to be there again or to drag my teams through that again. So I think um I think I've realized that I I don't want my kids to have a career like I've had. Or all the good bits, sure, but the rough bits, and it's not that I'm a bulldozer parent, but I I want them to come into a world where teams are more intentionally designed, resourced, and reset on a periodic basis to shine a light on the brilliance of the people that are on the teams. Too often, I think sports teams or or work teams, we we get a bit too fixated on our playbook or the the trophy of the moment, and we forget that if you just do the simple things well, if you get your process steps right, you know, the trophy is is the reward for doing good. It's the trophy in itself isn't the reward. Um, we're not chasing the trophy, we're we're we're tracing, you know, do good work, serve your customers, have raving fans, be profitable, do all of those good things, but do it in a way that sends people home healthy and happy and energized.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that, man. I I learned something called holistic differentiation. Oh, tell me more. Which is how you um it's how you make people feel when you leave.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_05:

So and I joke, people like, do you are you do you think when you leave your customer, they're like, man, that Dane dude, his his PowerPoints are so pretty. God, he what I mean. I just love his font. And like, no, or they saying, God, he asks such good questions. And how did he remember to follow up with me about my son's birthday? And how did he know that I go to this? And how do you know about he's remembered my college and they were in the playoffs? Like the little things that most people I thought was common sense on learning in this journey of life that's not.

SPEAKER_01:

Nope.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, but I I I love that, yeah. So you're you're doing holistic differentiation, it sounds like you're you're helping drive these positive experiences for people. And um, yeah, I love and I love that I can tell you're a really good leader, dude, because you're you're real, you're honest, you're not afraid to say where you've effed up, and yeah, lean into that. And I think when when people when people see that, I think it's a lot more you can connect more to people when because then we put our guard down. It's like, okay, I can, you know, I I mean I have stories for days and then like the book I wrote, I it was more of a book of where I sucked versus where I was good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um so that's the brilliant thing about humans. We can learn from the mistakes of others. So the more of us that share the mistakes, the more learning that we can spread out there.

SPEAKER_05:

Even when we ask a question to pull them in.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, tell me, would it be helpful if I share where I got fired by a client?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. That's a great one. I love that. Tell, explain, describe. Cheat codes, ma'am. They are cheat codes.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Okay, we will make sure this is all linked in the show notes, your podcast, your business. Um, I would encourage everybody. Um, Dane's had some really, really cool guests on, and uh they have some really rich uh conversations. I got a lot of um back shows to watch and listen to. Um, but now my man, it's time to go in what I call the lightning round. Let's do it. Where I uh ask you where I actually show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits. And uh my job is to ask these questions as quickly as you can. Actually, your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can. My job is to try to get a giggle out of you.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. Okay. So so you don't I meant to try not to giggle. Is that what I'm hearing?

SPEAKER_05:

That's that's the task.

SPEAKER_01:

All right.

SPEAKER_05:

Got it. Okay. Um true or false, you just started growing your beard this morning.

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_05:

False. False. Okay. And you guys can't see, but he's got a fantastic, fantastic, just grisly.

SPEAKER_01:

It's it's part of my uh healthy team leader versus high-performing team leadership.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, you yeah, you set the tone. Uh true or false, I had a handlebar mustache for about a month and a half. False. True. My wife said it looked like Freddie Mercury. I want to see that. I will. It was not the look I was going for. Put that in the show notes. Exactly. Okay. Uh favorite book you've read is Dive at Zero, Bill Perkins. Okay. Favorite comedy movie of all time is I suck at movies.

SPEAKER_01:

I I'm gonna go with um let's go with uh Wedding Singers. Wedding singers.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Oh, Adam Sandler, good call. Andrew Barrymore. I think it might be the first uh wedding singers reference in the podcast. So thank you for being a first. Um if I came to your house for dinner tonight, uh would we eat Australian, American, or English? Australian for sure. Okay, and what will we have? Lamb chops. Nice. That sounds good. I got I got a little bit of the gout, so I gotta make sure I hope that doesn't flare it up.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Feel your pain. Um, if you were to go on vacation right now, you and the wife, kids are staying home, tell me where you're taking her.

SPEAKER_01:

We're taking the kids to Park City, Utah, and hanging out in the mountains.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. But if you didn't, just some mom and dad time, where would you take her?

SPEAKER_01:

Mom and dad time? Yeah. Um, Fiji. Likou liku resort. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_05:

Is it the uh bungalows?

SPEAKER_01:

It's bungalows on the water, adults only, best restaurant food. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_05:

Is it like couples retreat?

SPEAKER_01:

Couples retreat, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it. Um, if I was to go into your phone, what would be and we and I shared it with your team, what would be one genre of music they would be surprised you listen to?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh um, I like I drive my daughter to school every day, so I'm listening to a lot of Noah Cyrus right now.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, there we go. Um if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.

SPEAKER_01:

Dress up.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Now, Dame, dress up. You I don't know if you're surprised or not, but I I'm not. Uh I went I went to um Amazon, it sold out. And I went to the airport, it it sold out. Barnes Noble, no one can keep this book dress up on the shelves because it's going freaking crazy. So now Netflix and um Hulu are fighting over for the the the they're gonna make a movie out of it. You now were named the casting director. I need to know who's gonna star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.

SPEAKER_01:

Thomas Hardy.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

unknown:

T.

SPEAKER_05:

Hardy. The first T. Hardy reference. You're a man of first today, so this has been fun. Okay, and then last and most important question, tell me two words that would describe your wife.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm gonna go with two abstract words. I'm gonna go with librarian. And I'm gonna go with assassin.

SPEAKER_05:

Again, first. I've never had those on.

SPEAKER_01:

She's an assassin librarian.

SPEAKER_05:

All right. I lose, I giggle more. Um, that's what I do. Lighting rounds complete. This has been a fantastic conversation. I have a page and a half of notes. Uh, I'm grateful that you gave us some of your time, man. It's been fun learning more about you. Um, I really enjoyed your story, and I hope that a lot of other dads uh took a lot from your experiences and maybe a few of mine to hopefully maybe rethink how they're doing things. I tell you one thing, I when I start this podcast, everybody, it's not because I have it figured out. I get free therapy out of every episode. And so I want to say thank you to all the 300 and some odd dads who've who've shared with me over the last six seasons. And the goal is to get to a thousand. So we will be doing this for a long time. If you've not taken time to leave this review or share this with a friend, please do that. That is like the ultimate compliment you can you can give us. And um, if you're interested in sponsoring the podcast, please reach out because we're always looking for people to be get on board to help create better fathers at home. So, but anyway, man, I appreciate you and thanks so much for being a guest on the quarterback dad cast.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks, great, thanks, Casey. Great platform, and uh lovely holding this space with dad.

SPEAKER_05:

Cool.