Jed Collins - Progress Over Trophies: What Actually Matters When You Lead at Home

Today marks the 2nd guest we've invited back for another conversation, so thank you, Jed Collins for coming on to tell us what's changed since we last spoke and to also share more about your new book!

In today's conversation, we explore that the hardest part of youth sports isn’t usually the practice or the game, it’s what happens right after. As you might recall, Jed is a former NFL Fullback who will help us unpack how dads can raise confident, resilient kids without turning every weekend into a scoreboard crisis. Jed shares what’s changed in his home as his daughters hit middle school, and why his north star has shifted from chasing wins to building the best human being long term. 

We get practical about intentional parenting and fatherhood habits that actually stick. Jed explains the three phrases he repeats every morning (“Be kind, try hard, I love you”), why presence is a real gift even when you’re exhausted, and how the Bruce Brown “Car Ride Home” concept can protect your relationship with your kid. We also talk about handling big emotions as a girl dad, listening to learn instead of rushing to solve, and why sometimes the best move is to “shut up and give a hug.” 

Then we go behind the scenes on Jed’s new book, Fourth And Goal, built from his daily NFL journal during his final season. We dig into journaling prompts, identity and personal brand, and why writing things down may matter even more in the age of artificial intelligence. We even hit a quick health tangent on creatine and brain function before closing with a lightning round. 

If you get value from the conversation, subscribe, share this with a dad who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find the show.

Transcript

Welcome To Quarterback Jack

SPEAKER_03 0:03

Hi, I'm Riley.

Jed Collins Returns After Six Years

SPEAKER_00 0:04

And I'm Ryder. And this is my dad's job. Hey everybody, it's KC Jacobs with the quarterback. There's a lot of great guests ahead. If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple. It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them. We learn about the values that are important to them. And really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home. So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode of Quarterback Jack. To the music, everybody. Uh reunited. It feels so good. We don't bring it and it feels so good. That's the voice, everybody, of the one and only Jed Collins team. You might be thinking, well, why are we having him on again? And I'm like, why not? I'm the guest, I'm the host. I can do what I want to do. But we're gonna bring on one and only Jed Collins because the last time you heard him was July 23rd, 2020. I don't know if you realize that, Jeff. It's been almost six years since you created press on the quarterback dad cast. And back then, you're still the fullback of finance. Just you you were the CEO of the money vehicle. Um you were uh you were early in your dad journey, and I wanted to bring you back on for a couple reasons. One, I want to hear I want to see what's changed with your kids and what and the phases maybe we can talk about to younger dads out there that are going through things, talk about maybe lessons learned that you've experienced. And then also, we want to hear about fourth and goal, this new book you got coming out. And the only other only other guest to come on twice was was Billy Burke from the mighty Michigan State Spartans. When when he when he came on, we talked about another book called uh The Man in the Arena. Um uh, but he actually played for the one and only um Saban. Crazy story. But with all that said, let's first talk about Jed the Dad and how he's working hard to become hard, how he's working hard to become the ultimate quarterback or fullback of his household. So for ado, Jed Collins, welcome back to the quarterback dad cast.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Oh brother. Case, I mean, I cannot believe it's been six years. That that blows my mind. Um and yes, the world has changed. The world is anew. People say they want to do a podcast. People talk a lot about it. They do episodes one through seven six years later, man. You still got it going. Your community grows every day. Uh, I hope you feel the blood, sweat, and tears pour into this. Um, I could not be more excited to be back as a father. Yes, now at 12 and soon to be 10. So 12 and 10-year-old girls entering and in middle school. My world is uh entering a new world of phases, new world of uh uh if anybody has been into Sephora, I've have a new world of smells. I I didn't know there were so many smells, but there are that many smells and lotions out there. Um and yeah, it's been uh an absolute journey. You know, we we quickly just shift into like sports because I feel like I'm more involved in sports than I am in school in some ways. Uh, but if you've had helped your kids with math homework, you realize school has changed quite a bit since we were in there. Uh but yes, it has been a neat evolution of the Collins household having uh having young women blossoming.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Well, it's it's uh being a girl dad is the best. Um I love it. And uh it's hard to believe, man, when we so that was six years ago almost. That means I would have had an 11-year-old. Riley is graduating from call high school. She's got three months left, and she's gonna go be a hooper at the Mighty Central Washington University once that ACL heals up. For those that don't know you, um you're a former NFL player. You played seven years for the Saints and the Lions. Uh, Drew Brees, everybody, he might have met her to that guy. Jed was in the huddle with him. Um he also is a diehard coup. Uh he a diehard coug, um, which I think I think it's great. But bring us inside the the uh the Collins Huddle. Talk to us about um how you and your wife met and then what the squad's up to these days.

Three Phrases That Set Values

Fixing The Win At All Costs Trap

SPEAKER_03 4:21

So we met back in Pullman at Washington State, which is part of the reason why I can be so diehard coug. They gave me a career and they gave me a wife. I don't know what else I could have asked for. Um we've been married, shoot, coming up on 18 years now. And yeah, we have you know combined and collaborated on these two beings. Um what has been really neat to see is what our themes are and what our principles have been and what we're trying to instill in them. Um very small things like the last words I say to them before they leave for school every morning, same three phrases. They now, before I even get it out of my mouth, repeat it back to me. Um, be kind, try hard, I love you. And that that started in a kind of a dark place when you hear of tragedies and you hear of school uprisings and shootings and things. Something came to me one night and I just said, Hey, I I want to make sure the last things these girls ever hear out of my mouth is, I love you. And what would the other phrases be that I want them to hear on a day-to-day basis? You and I both bigger, big believers and thoughts become things. Be kind, try hard are just two standards that we have in the Collins household. As we've entered this crazy era of youth sports, um I was consumed by it. As a competitor, you get involved in it. And I will say the last year, uh, I have kind of pulled back and out of that mindset. I've really shifted and adopted, realizing I am not a 30-year-old playing in the NFL when I walk into a nine-year-old girls' basketball game. Uh, the intensity needs to shift and change. But really, the the objective of youth sports today, I think, is really uh it wrong. Um, I think we've we've trained our our next generation on on the outcomes, on the, you know, everything we do is all we do is win. We got to win this game. You're in fourth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade. It's about how can we squeak out and win this one. And the truth is, like I I've really pulled back and looked at my daughters, and I've just said, I don't care if you win. In fact, I hope you lose. And I I coach a couple teams of my girls, and I tell the parents, I hope we lose. The goal is improvement. And I think we've lost the message there. And we look at it and we always talk about the Super Bowl or the national championship or the tournament, and you just go, that's in seventh grade. The goal is not to win a championship. The goal is to look at the young girl or boy I was a week or a year ago and say, I can beat that person. Um, and so I've really tried in myself to change what my messaging is to my girls. It is no longer the view we had as athletes of watch film and focus on the negatives, focus on the weakness. It is call that out, but call it out after the positives. Call out how much progression you've had. You caught that basketball, you jab stepped, and then you looked at her. You weren't jab stepping two months ago. Like that's control, that's confidence with the ball. That's a small thing, but it helps build kind of the foundation of where we're trying to go. I it has just been such a tailspin because as the coach or as the parent, you're not in the mix and you don't get to kind of throw the punches, but still every every hit hurts. Um, and as your kids grow and get into more competitive lanes, seeing the competition continue to rise is a is a tough challenge. My girls have come home crying from tryouts and crying from games and things. I love that their competitive nature is there, but my goal and my mission right now as a father of 12 and 10 is just focus on the improvement. I don't care if you lose, losing's part of life. Just continue to keep that mindset in there and hope that understanding allows that they still love the game.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

I think that's uh that's really good stuff, dude. I think unfortunately the world needs more people that played pro sports like you to speak up and share those things. Um you know, I was just a lonely D2 guy down at Central, but I coached. Um I coached a lot. Um, and I was I somehow got talked into becoming a president of a basketball association. Didn't mean to do that. It happened. I think leaders leaders find leadership roles on accident sometimes. Or um, and I think like those are really, really important. I think winning is important, and it's but it's also like, but when you lose, uh let's let's still find positives. And when you said that story, you made me think of one one thing we used to do after the games would be like we'd huddle up and say, All right, let's go around positives, and even though we lost, we wouldn't say, Hey, shoot, we did this, didn't do that. We'd like, hey, and each person had to go around and say, Oh, I I thought Riley did this, or I thought Hannah did that, or I thought Marin did that. And then so, and after every pause, we'd say, Give them three, we'd give three claps. And it just like, uh, because I think it's like when you and I have a bad day, we don't want to get torched. No, you know, and yeah, well, I knew I had a bad day. And and I I always make this dumb dad joke, but like, if imagine if I had a bad day when I was in corporate, and then my son jumps in the backseat with me. He's like, Hey Dak, be honest with you, man. You usually have 43 words a minute. I had you about 32 today. Um that voicemail at 1046, man, you sound like a douche. I'm just gonna be honest with you, man. What were you doing? We've been working on this all day. I'm like, I knew I sounded shitty. Why do you got to remind me? You know, but sometimes we forget this as parents.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

And and you do. I love that trans transpose to corporate America. Like, if we handled our careers and our jobs like we handle some sporting events, I mean, people would be arrested. It's just it's amazing. The and I I grew up in basketball, so basketball is different because it's indoors and it's such close proximity. I mean, you go into some of these gyms today, and the parents are literally feet on the court, like there is no room. So the intimacy is so there, the emotions are so high, and you do you you hear a parent bagging or encouraging or just screaming at their kid throughout the game, and you just go, man, if anybody did that in any other environment, somebody would tell them to shut up. But apparently we accept it here, and I get it. It's uh it is a very hard thing to go and stay quiet. But as you yeah, as you were just mentioning, if if your kid turned the tables and started to attack you the way we attack them at times, it just would not make for a a relationship. And it I I continue to try to look at them and say, the best sixth grade basketball player, the best 12th grade basketball player is not my goal. That's not the objective. Sports was always a vehicle. I want the best human. I want the human at 20, at 30, at 50. And I I had great advice uh uh actually about a year or two ago, a father of older girls. Uh some of his are were in college and you know, off and dating and doing all these things. And his advice was just just love your girls. Man, the way you're interacting with them, the way you talk to them, what you have them think about when you walk in, that is all going to be how they look at men and how they look at a relationship. And that's part of being a girl dad. Is like I never expected to set that tone. I'm a coach, I'm great at calling out mistakes in myself. I'm hardest on me. And that pours over to any relationship around me. But seeing it through that love them relationship because I am setting the tone for that relationship for the rest of their lives. That's really allowed me to, again, three claps. Let's go three positives. Let's talk about the mess up, let's talk about the mistake, let's see it as where we're gonna improve, but let's keep the focus and the majority on you're improving. What mattered today, you got better. And I learned this, I call myself a great failure. I always think I fail is a different mindset for me. F-A-I-L first attempt in learning. I've always looked at failing as a positive. I think failing is feedback, feedback is knowledge, and knowledge is power. Therefore, I can turn failure into power. And I just look at that approach and I look at kind of where, again, what do I want my kids and my daughters to walk away at 18 or at 28 and believe? I want them to know failure is not final. Success isn't final either. Neither of them are the end, they are all just a part of the process.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Yeah, there's have you heard of the name? I can't remember if I asked you about this six years ago, but have you heard of the name Bruce Brown? Bruce Brown, no. So he is a he is a goat um up at uh Kamano Island. And the guy coached, he actually coached in the East Side a long time ago. Uh he was um on stages with guys like um um John Wooden, uh Bill Walton, um Dean Smith, um, you know, a few uh Mike Sheshewski, might have heard of these people. Um and but he wrote a book and wrote an article, he wrote a lot of books, but one of his articles that really kind of took off back in the day that he spoke on and it's still talked about to these days is what's called the car ride home. And the car ride home was about instead of immediately going to the game, and the reason why he knows his works is because he he interviewed thousands and thousands of athletes, high school pro college, and they said, What's what's the um what's the worst memory you have as a as an athlete? And the number one answer was the car ride home.

SPEAKER_03 14:12

Car ride home. If you got to ride in the car, man, I I I was outside the car for a couple times.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Um but it would talk about, and so they asked him, What's your what's your you know, what do you what are your best memories? Um it says when grandma and grandpa came. And they're like, well, why? Because because grandma grandpa would just say, I love watching you play. And so, like, what he talks about is I'm paraphrasing here, Bruce, um, is that if your kid cares as much as you think they should or they do, they'll come to you and ask for help. And they'll come and tell you, no, it's you can guide him a little bit, but after so I tried it when Run Ryder was like, call it seven or eight. I mean, he was a pr, I would think above average yield little eager. Um, stop playing baseball because he got into golf, but he had a play at like third or short. There's like routine play, error. I'm like, dude. And I just didn't say anything. And uh at af after the game, he's like, uh, you know, frustrated. I said, that's all right, man. It was fun watching the screen. He said, Why was it fun, man? I had this error, da da da da da. He's like just beating himself up. And I said, Hey man, give it a couple days, let's come back. If you're so frustrated, let's talk about it. Um, but man, I just love watching you compete. And I know I love that you care. Well, two days later he came, he's like, Why do you think that happened? I'm like, oh my God, it freaking worked. Yes. And so I would just encourage, I mean, I didn't think we'd talk about this, but like, that's such a everybody Google it, Bruce Brown, car ride home. It's a great, I used to send it to all the parents at coach. It's just a timeless piece of advice that like I think I think that helps keep keeps us from just being one of those freak out parents. Because if we're freaking out the sidelines, our kids are watching and they're probably embarrassed.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

And I mean, it is so transformational because you say that word, car ride home. I I go immediately back to my dad driving me home. And a little insight into my childhood. My daughter actually just flew down to California where my parents live. My mom and dad came to a game. I actually wasn't there, my wife was there, and my dad called me afterwards and said, I would have never gonna let you get on a plane if you were that unprepared. And I just go, Dad, you watched your granddaughter play basketball. Like, that's it, that's your reaction. Like, calm down, she's in sixth grade, like, man, and it honestly re-inserted into me of like, Jed, you think you've been pulling back way more, pull back way more because that's my standard, that's my precedent. Mike Collins, better or worse, was a disciplinarian and just an absolute, you know, crazy man at times. And I look at that and I go, if I uh I want to pull back halfway, and I'm realizing maybe I need to keep going, but it is car ride home. And I I I don't know if you introduced me to that, but I've made a point, and I tell my wife, because she's the first one that wants to jump in too. Like, we're in the car, like let's dive, let's debrief. This is not the debrief. And the fact that two days later he came up, that is everything, that's the only thing you need to know, and then you will never say a word in the car right home again. Put the music on, talk about a destination you want to go to, or some crap that happened in your life. Like, that's what I'm realizing, especially with kids, is when they don't know, they just want me to talk. And Casey, you you and I, we we can fill up some air. Like, that's that's not a hard part. But I think that is a great. I have not read that book. I've heard of that, so I didn't know it was an actual uh it's actually just an article. That's just the article. Okay, I've heard of that article. Yeah, it's powerful. But yeah, man. Legendary coaches. So my coach just passed away. Um, a high school football coach absolutely changed my life. Like in a movie, I you the text messages start going out. We're 40, our high school football coach dies. Um, we're gonna have his funeral here in a week or two. And it's it's just a chain of men, grown men, just pouring out how much this guy changed their lives. Coaching is one of the coolest and most impactful things in life. Artificial intelligence will not change that. And that's a really cool thought to like look at coaches and go, you're only becoming more valuable.

Why Coaching Still Matters

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Yeah, that's why it's funny. Yeah, AI does not, yeah, AI is awesome. Um, I think it does a lot of really, really cool things, but it doesn't create the moment of how I make people feel. Um, and it can ask good questions, but it can't ask great or elite questions because it doesn't it doesn't truly think like, and I'm sure there's some AI nerds out there that are gonna argue with me, go for it, you're not gonna convince me. Um But I you know, I think it will replace things, but not not that. Um so tell me what do you think is the biggest thing that's changed for other than your youth sports? Um maybe like thinking about the values that were once important to you as a I would have been call it six and four, now 12 and 10. Like tell me what what are the most values right now? You said you want happiness, which I think is a fantastic one. That is a great metric of success. But tell me what else has come to mind that maybe has changed for you and your wife in the last six years.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Um, you know, honestly, being a speaker and traveling, I realized being present is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your children. And that doesn't mean you're looking eye to eye and having a heartfelt conversation. That could be laying on a couch, holding hands, watching a show. It could be, you know, I I now, because I have two daughters, realize they get ready 30 minutes longer than it takes me to get ready. And so I'll just go lay down on their bed while they're looking in their little vanity and putting on whatever crap the day is is entailing, and just being around them, being with them. And I I really do feel the pull of like daddy travels, but when I'm here, I am as here as I can be. I walk you to school, I walk you to the bus. I just want to be present. And even when I was here more physically, as an entrepreneur or as a hustler or sales anything, mentally you're always spatially maybe not as aware or here. I think presence has been one of the biggest principles as I've kind of shifted from six and four. We're trying to keep them alive and you know, keep them in control to now we're we're really parenting, now we're really starting to form human beings. Presence has been a massive one. Um, and another cool, and this is gonna obviously tie later into the new book, but another cool thought I had was how impactful journaling has been in my life. And I started to try to get them to write pen and paper. I had to introduce them to what pen and paper was, but after we got over that shock and awe, would you write about your feelings? Would you write about your moment? Would you capture a day? And they kind of were like, uh I don't I don't love it. And so about a year ago, I got an Osmo uh camera, a little camera for me to take and video some of my presentations. And so I got the idea of just putting the camera in front of them and saying, Hey, debrief, you know, you just had a game, talk about the game. You just went to a friend's birthday party, talk about your friends and the birthday party. It was your first day of school. Tell them, tell me about and so I've had each of them now document these little five to ten minute journals video, and I'm saving them all on Dropbox. And I think that has been one of the coolest because now I'm getting to meet the opinions, the mind, the individual. I cannot, and I'm sure you're the same, like I cannot tell you how different my two daughters are. Are in every aspect of the way. And to get them for me to start seeing how different they are, and not even like parenting them differently, which I am starting to try to, but really seeing like, wow, these cool little bundles of things grow to be their own. And I'm just now getting to this epiphany of like, my daughter is never gonna be me. It's never gonna be my wife. She is her own unique thing. Let's capture what that unique thing looks like. And that's what those videos are starting to be able to do for her as well as for me.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

That's so cool. Well, one, I think you're also, whether you know it or not, you're teaching them to be public speakers. Communication.

SPEAKER_03 22:44

Hey, I can't do that yet.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

No. And being able to communicate is such an important skill. Like, we're trying to work with our kids now that they're a little older, is um pick up the phone and actually make a phone call. Don't just text. Don't just text, you know. And if if who cares, they don't pick up. And well, they might not be ready for the call. That's the whole point. To let the and if you have good body language, good intention, hey, I'm just calling to think, I was thinking about you. I want to call to say hi. If someone wants to get mad at you, that's not the right friend for you. Those are enough you be wanting your life.

Phone Calls And Owning Your Weird

Sponsor Message Fivecoat Consulting Group

SPEAKER_03 23:16

I I love that notion. And and if they're gonna be mad, I I tell so my my daughters again kind of like fail, like try to hack their brain into the word weird. And I'm like, I I love being weird. When I'm weird is when I'm being the most Jed you can be. Like that's that's uniquely me. You call it weird because it's not you. I want to be in a circle of friends that maybe not always love, but at least accept my weird. That's what a friend is. If you're weird and you make a phone call to say something goofy, like that's you're right. That if that's not for you, then my weird's not for you. And what friends are are people who accept each other's weird when you're authentically you. Um, but I I will tell you, in today's day and age, when you say phone call, I got three friends who call me. Tons that text me, bunch of cool connections, but three guys who I go, Casey, yeah. He's a he I'm not texting him, he's a call guy. Uh, and it's a unique trait. I would say they are all secretly from small towns, so I don't know if that there's some connection there, but I think that is a really, really small, massive advantage in the future of our humanity. Of like, no, I'm gonna give you my time. Here it is. Whether you accept it or not is up to you, but the ball is in your court.

Stop Doomscrolling Call Someone

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Hey everybody, it's Casey J. Cox with the quarterback dadcast. I want to take a minute to introduce our newest sponsor on this podcast, which is the Five Coat Consulting Group, led by the one and only David Fivecoat. So, as you know, we talk a lot about on the show about what it means to be intentional as dads, fathers, and leaders, about showing up when people are counting on us. And one of the biggest challenges is how do we get people truly aligned when things get hard? That's what I think David and the Five Coat Consulting Group is worth knowing more about. So, who is David? Well, he's a dad, he's a retired Army Colonel, and he's a former guest on the quarterback dad cast. He also is the founder of the Five Coat Consulting Group. Now, this is not just another workshop. We've all heard about it, we've all seen them. Over the three days on this workshop in Pennsylvania, teams are gonna walk the grounds, they're gonna study leaders who have been under pressure before, and they're gonna come away with lessons and frameworks that they can use immediately and remember long after this workshop's over. So if your team needs more alignment, better decision making in uncertain situations, and a leadership development program that's really going to stick, contact David now at david.fivecoat. That's d-a-v-i-d.f-I-V-E, C-O-A-T at the Fivecoat Consulting Group.com. Now, let's get back to today's episode. Well, there's I don't know if you've seen these things, these ATT commercials recently. Shout out to A T T. They don't you don't sponsor me. If you want, it's lovely talk to talk to you guys. But I think if they have this amazing thing recently where they said it shows a dude doom uh like doom doom scrolling. And it says, next time you want to do scroll, pick up the phone and FaceTime somebody. Um the watch what happens when you that five minutes or ten minutes you just waste if you'd pick up and what would that connection do to somebody if you just call them, like be curious. Hey, I was thinking about you. I wanted to say hi. Maybe you call five people in that 10 minutes you would have doom scroll that would get zero, that just trigger your algorithm to get produce noise to your brain, produce these chemicals you don't need to further cement a thought or feeling or opinion that you don't even know, backed up by any data or science, but just pure emotion, which just makes the world more of a shit show. Pick up the phone and call somebody. And I love that ATT thought to do that.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

Um can I ask how I put you on the hot seat for a second?

SPEAKER_00 27:04

Call or FaceTime? Are you a both guy? Are you a depends? Do I wear depends? No. Not yet. No, not yet. Um I would say I probably more call. Yeah. But I think challenge accepted. Why not FaceTime somebody?

SPEAKER_03 27:21

That's I mean, you said you said FaceTime them, and I like I FaceTime my parents because they want to see my girls. I'm not a I don't FaceTime many people outside of them. Uh and it's again, because I'm getting older and I'm a weird dude. Like I put a put a phone call to a friend on speaker and I I stretch. So it's like, yeah, I don't want to FaceTime you while I'm like trying to get my calf stretch or you know, I my downward dog on.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Uh that'd be a good visual.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

That would be a great visual. And maybe, you know, maybe they do want to see that. I don't know. I may call you, we'll walk through some yoga yoga spots. Uh but I like if somebody like randomly FaceTimes me, it does feel a little bit more like, ooh, what's this gonna be about?

SPEAKER_00 28:06

You know, like that's a treat. Well, I think sometimes I think you know, there was this um phrase called zoom fatigue where I think we're so zoomed out. And I think sometimes you have meetings, and I don't know about you, but like people say, Man, it's just so nice to have a phone call, so I can go, I can take a walk. Yeah, just walk around the backyard or walk, take the dogs for a walk. And we used to do this all the time, but then we got this COVID world where we have to have everything had to be vert. I mean, C or which I think is important, but it's also occasional phone calls, okay too.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

Absolutely. I if if we can do a walk and talk, that's the best. But even better. I'm in the greater Seattle area, so walking outside is not always uh uh an option.

Patience And Handling Big Emotions

SPEAKER_00 28:49

No, specifically what we just went through. I was in Phoenix last week, and uh it was awesome. We were on we were supposed to be in Hawaii, but we had to cancel the last minute because this there Hawaii was getting tons and tons and tons of rain. Like, I'm not going there for that. No, thank you. So we pivoted and went to Phoenix, came back, it was like 45 and rain and wind. And then last night, I mean we're recording everybody on um April 16th, but uh we had frickin' snow last night. Whoa, and then it melted goalie cooked, but I'm like, what in the hell is this? So that was that was no bueno.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

That's great.

SPEAKER_00 29:23

Okay, so you talked one of the questions I always like asking dads is gaps, like area their dad game where they they would like to get more intentional. You've talked about being present, you've talked about maybe um taking a different perspective at the at the sports, your youth sports. Um mine is something patience is something I'm always working on as a dad. Oh, yeah. Um, is there is there anything else that comes to mind that as your daughters are getting older that might speak to the the younger Jed of 2020 that's meeting that's talking to me now, the another younger dad, if they're listening, he might be like, Man, I'm glad Jed s heard that because that that'll that might help me.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

Man alive. Um, I mean, patience, obviously. I think parenting teaches you patience on a day-to-day basis. Um I would say just the identification of emotions. And being a girl dad, I am being identified to new worlds of emotion. Um, but I I uh on the male spectrum, I'm a very emotional being. I'm an artist, you know, creative. Everybody's like, oh, a big Jed Fullback. It's like, man, you don't know my onion layers. Like, I am the most sensitive human being you're ever gonna meet. Uh I would say being able to identify my own emotions, and more importantly, being able to see emotions in my girls and look past what my male ego response reaction is, and look at what the emotion actually is in need of. So many times I want to run and fix the problem, point out the issue, move past, think logically. And I would say, and this is again talking to girl dad specifically the greatest thing men have told me is to shut up and give a hug. And I have walked now, and I can vividly remember three times in the last two months where there I grew up in a house of boys, like there wasn't random tears. There are random tears on a daily, if not weekly, basis in my household, and there is no solution, there is no right answer. That was really hard for me to accept, but now I am walking into a young girl, 12 with every I mean Inside Out 2. If you're a girl dad, watch Inside Out 2, it's phenomenal. Uh identifying that emotion and just going, Jed, your job is not to solve or react. Your job is to be present, be patient, and again, just that hug, smile that that solves so much more than the right answer. And I I as a man want the right answer. It's like, dude, and that's it, that's your answer. That's not the answer for this problem.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

It's actually great sales advice. It's I mean, you know, you the best salespeople are curious storytellers, they listen, they ask second, third level questions. Um, and I think that's what great fathers do. They they they are in not only they are intentional, but they're curiously intentional. And they they they ask questions without they're not listening to learn. They're listening, or I mean they're listening to learn, not to persuade. And um I think the more I found when I listen more and I don't give my opinion, my daughter will open up more. Uh, as soon as I try to like fix and solve and tell her what she should do, like when she was your daughter's age, I used to say, Hey, Ride, tell me, tell me anything changed for you. And she's like, What do you mean? I'm like, well, I know that you like hoop was super important to you and you you had these big goals, but I'm just curious to see anything changed. She's like, Wow, why I mean I haven't seen you on the court last couple days, but if if that's not what's important to you, that's cool. Within like 10 minutes, you'd be out there again. Now, sometimes people, hey, you don't want to manipulate them. I'm not manipulating them, I'm just asking questions. I didn't tell her once to go out to the court. I never, and you know, I'm glad that I did it that way because it it kind of further lit the fire without make I has to be her idea or my son's idea. Like my son when he was 12, I took him off our our golf membership. And he was like, What do you why are you doing that, Dad? I said, Well, I can afford it. Can you? And he says, Yeah, obviously, I'm not gonna pay for you if you're not gonna go use it. That's a waste of money. Um, I'd rather open up a spot for another family that wants them to use it. Now, if you want to go, I can take you as a guest once a month. Um, but if you don't want me to take you as a guest, but if you want to use it and show me that you really, really care and you want to make this uh like a hobby you want to work at, then I'll put you back on. But if you don't want to work hard, then I'm not gonna put you on there. Hard to do. Hard. I felt like an asshole when I did it, but it fixed the problem.

SPEAKER_03 34:04

Yes, and again, and this is parenting, is like we think our job is to protect and coddle and be nice, and it's like no, your job sometimes is to be the asshole, which is being kind.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

That's the difference between nice and kind. Kind is telling the truth, nice is telling them what they don't want to do to protect them.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

Yes, protect them. And again, I I I just look at it and humbly, I now like walking through an airport on my own, go, holy crap, my girls are gonna do this on their own here in a few years. I won't be there to protect them. I life I I'm not gonna slap them in the face, but something needs to slap them in the face right now so they know what it feels like and they're ready for it when it comes. And that's why I say to lose. That's why I like sports and failing, is because it's that small jolt and slap in the face of like, yeah, I didn't see you out there practicing. That's interesting. Okay, cool, cool. Like, what is your response? You didn't force, you didn't, you just proposed a question. Their response is they're they're they're everything. And I I again I look at a lot of the guys, the greats we were able to play with, first round draft picks don't make it. Why? Because they never lost, they never were challenged and had to come back. I, every time I stepped on a football field, was one or two steps slower than every human being on that field. I went into every battle with a disadvantage. Now that's my secret sauce. Yeah. One, I'm cool losing, and two, I approach everything with I gotta make up two steps before we even start. But if I have been coddled and handled, I never learned that skill. I even look at me and my brothers. Why I'm the youngest of the three brothers. Like there's something to developing that attitude of like, no, you're you're you're not supposed to win every game. If you're in middle school or even high school and you're winning every game, forget you, dude. Go find better competition. Go play up, go play boys, go go play somebody in another state. Like stop winning every game. You are learning nothing winning every game.

Stealing An Inch As A Dad

SPEAKER_00 36:25

That's where grit and resilience comes from. You maybe think of so one of the things I know we talked about six years ago was uh um a game of inches. Oh yeah. Uh talk about how maybe that mindset of a game of inches remind our audience what you're what we're talking about, but also maybe tie it to fatherhood.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

So, game of inches, I stole from a linebacker in Kansas City. He was a 16-year linebacker. Um, and he told me every day he comes into the building, he tries to steal an inch. That inch leads to a yard, a yard to a first down, a first down to a touchdown, a touchdown to a win, and wins get us to the Super Bowl, which is why we're all here. That's a direct quote from him. Um, and so I started to look at each day I would go into the building of where was my inch? Everybody was gonna go work out where could I find that extra? Everybody was gonna watch film, where could I find extra? Even in my interactions, hey, there's the the GM or the president, Jed, the undrafted no-name guy. My inch could be how do I make a conversation with the teen president? Put a smile on his face. Maybe he likes me and keeps me around. I got cut a lot, so it probably didn't work that much. But parenting is everything in inches. And for me as a father now, I think my greatest inch is a smile. I think it's a magical thing that can translate and communicate more than any word we could have ever spoken. And as you look at inches, just look at the small interactions where your child feels that warm blanket that you get to put around them through your interactions on a day-to-day. And that is kind of where I look at my inches day to day is what is the moment where I make sure my girls know I love them? And if I can do that once a day, that inch is gonna continue to add up. Now, one of our habits and something we love is at the end of the day, um, kind of as you know, a lot of people prayers, we do what was our favorite part of the day? What was the one moment of today that put a smile and put something into your life and something you want to remember? And it is just that inch of why are we, you know, grateful people are happy, happy people aren't grateful. It's that notion of how can I find the inch today of the moment that makes this child feel my love and feel my present present.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

Love it, ma'am. Love it. It's it's so true. It's and that that requires a choice, everybody. Um, and dads, I hope that as you listen to this, we're slowing down a little bit. And because we can tell ourselves these stories, oh, I'm so busy, I'm doing it. No, you're not. We are we are, but you're not as busy as you think, and you're not as important as you once think. Um we have 1,440 minutes each day. No one gets more, no one gets less. It's up to us to maximize those minutes as effect as effectively as we can, to be as intentional, um, to be um as productive, to be as whether it's communicators, whether it's showing up, whether it's reading the defense, and we walk in the door from a hard day, we either can be the the the one dad that chooses, oh, I'm gonna go sit on the couch and where's dinner, or hey, tell me, hey honey, how's your day? Ask about her, or tell me, is there anything else, is there anything I can do? Like be a teammate. Um, because our daughters and sons will see that. Um, if we bring negative energy into the house, that's our fault. That's not anybody else's fault. And so, like, one thing as I talk to people who work from home, like maybe take a deep breath, walk outside for like five minutes, and then walk back inside like you're walking home from the office. Don't walk right from this room to that room because you're just you're not, you know, giving yourself the space to kind of get the get out of work mode versus dad mode. I don't know if you saw, actually, I interviewed um the great Mike Holmgren.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Oh, yeah.

Intentional Home Leadership And Listener Prompt

Fourth And Goal And The Power Of Journaling

SPEAKER_00 40:14

And uh hearing him when he would come home from the the building, he would go in, him and Kathy, he said it would go into the this and the kids knew not to mess them, they'd go into this like this little room. It was like five to ten minutes for just them. And they'd be able to talk, and then it was like, then it could be dad time. But I think if we don't create the space for each other, and I think you made me think of that, which is a game of inches, because it's something simple that we all can wrap our mind around, everybody. Um so I would encourage you when this episode comes out, leave us a comment on the the social media post. Like, what's what's the one thing you can commit to of your your your game where you can you can um get a little bit better inch by inch? Um, because I think if we can all create this community, we're holding ours holding ourselves accountable and trying to figure out ways to be better. I think that's what I think society needs. Um tell me about this new book, man. I want to make sure that we we get the word out because this this up this book comes out uh April 28th.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

So it's just released if we're listening.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

Yeah, this episode came out. We're today, it's even though we're recording April 16th, everybody. This episode's gonna come out April 30th. So I'm assuming that you've already sold out by April 30th.

SPEAKER_03 41:22

Oh, it's Amazon New York Times bestseller in 24 hours. First time ever done self-published. Um honestly, my daughter, Palmer, that uh was born in New Orleans. Her first year of life was in Detroit, and we were talking one day, and I told her, I said, I think I journaled about that. And I went back in my last year, my seventh season in the NFL, I challenged myself and I knew my career was coming to an end. Um, and I said, I'm gonna journal every day of this season. I want to capture as much of this dream world opportunity as I can. And I went back into the journal I actually took into and out of the Detroit Lions facility, and it was a lot more than I ever remember writing. Um, an AI tool helped me translate it to a Word document, and it ended up being 100,000 words. And I looked at it and I said, Man, this is a story. Like I captured some really cool moments. People ask me all the time what it's like to be in the NFL. And this is not just me going into the NFL. This is seven years in as a veteran, a pro, looking around and documenting this side of the journey. Now, a lot of people go, Well, it's a memoir. This is not a memoir. You know, I it's gonna be framed as a memoir for Amazon because that's what people search, and you got to play the algorithm. But the first line of like what this story is is this is not a memoir. This is come with Jed on the journey as I go through it. I start in January, the Saint season is over, we go and talk to the general manager. I want a new contract, I'm up, like I've played four years, I've been everything you've ever wanted. Conversation goes great. I leave that room, going to get a renting a house and moving in. Full disclosure, I end up with the Lions. So it doesn't go to plan. But I document on my birthday when they called and told me, we're not going to resign you, we're not even going to give you a contract. Go see what you can get. Happy birthday. And it is walking and talking through the greatness I got to be around in Detroit. I got to be with Calvin Johnson, the greatest receiver to ever live, when he crosses 10,000 yards. And I write about, you know, how cool of a moment everybody sees. And then we go to the sideline, and during the TV timeout, the white cap official walks over, takes his hat off, kind of like a military address, puts it on his side, and shakes Calvin's hand and tells him how much he appreciates his service. The guy walks away, and the sideline's sitting there, like, the game's still going on. Did you did the head official just come over and to celebrate you? And it's those moments that I got to be around and a witness of. And just being able to share this with the world today. Everybody says an artist needs to enjoy creating their art. I got to travel back through time. I got to go to 2014 and relive these days in the locker room and on the field. That has been the greatest gift. The fact I get to share it with people is so neat. But why it is more prevalent today than I would argue even 10 years ago is with artificial intelligence, I truly believe the only original thought in the future is going to be ones you write down on pen and paper. If you write it down in any kind of digital form, AI is going to improve it, it's going to tweak it, it's going to change it. No different than the social media message that is going on in our mind. So at a day and age where young athletes specifically are searching for a personal brand, thousands. I get to talk and teach thousands of business athletes every year. They all ask me, How do I build a brand? And I look at them and I go, Have you started to journal? If you don't know what you're about, how are you going to tell other people what you're about? And so throughout the book, there are hundreds of journaling prompts. Here's my little story, but here's more importantly, how Casey is going to take this and create your own journal. Um so I'm obviously super excited about it. I'm still the fullback of finance. I still teach people about money, but this is just building into what the athlete of today, the business side of it, uh and so yeah, I'm excited to share.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

Can't wait to read it. Where can people find it?

Creatine For Brain Health

SPEAKER_03 45:39

Uh, it's gonna be on Amazon. Um, so again, meet people where they are. There's an ebook, 499 Audible. So I sat down, recorded the 15-hour audible. Uh, so you're gonna get to listen. Like we know, people driving in a car, walking around, go for that 10-minute walk around outside your house. I know human beings don't love reading books anymore. They the publisher told me we gotta record an Audible. They wanted to have an uh an actor do it. And I was like, this is literally my personal journal. I gotta do this. Yeah, good for you. And so I I again I I'm excited for people to see it. But yes, get the paper back on Amazon. Um, it is it's gonna be out there, but I look at it as a team environment. If you are wondering how does a team gather and start to unite the meeting of the minds, journaling is gonna be a great gift. And this is gonna be a tool that you can use. Everybody says journal, journal, journal. Not many people show you how. I'm gonna show you how by doing, then I'm gonna challenge you to go repeat the system and the process. Um, so yeah, Amazon. Can't beat it. Just let it let her ride on there.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

We will make sure it's easily linked in the show notes, everybody, so you can go out and pick up a new copy of Jed's new book, Fourth and Goal. Um, I'm a man of uh I do gratitude drilling every every morning. Love it. Um, when I do it, it's funny, man. Subconsciously, I I find myself smiling midway when I'm doing it. And sometimes I talk about the same thing. God, thanks for waking me up today. Thank you for my health. Thanks for giving me a chance to do something great today. Speaking truth into something that might happen. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm gonna, like we just said earlier, thoughts become things. Yes. Um, we did not get a talk about in and we only have a few minutes left, but we were we joked about it before and we talked about creatine.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

Yeah. Oh, the secret.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

Yeah. So my only time real quick, the only time I got on creatine was circa 1995. My bench went up from like, this is like I don't mean to be the Uncle Rico of weightlifting here, but it went from like 270 to 305 in like two months. I feel like I was on ROIDS. And my AC joint got all jacked up because I got so strong so quick. Yeah. So why should the ripled age of 50? You're a creatine salesman now. Why should I be on creatine? Your brain. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

Nothing to do with your muscles. Yes, the first five milligrams goes to your muscles. You understand that it retains water, helps them flush, helps them build. All good. All good. Above that five grams, milligrams, your the creatine now goes into the biggest brain in consumption in your body, and it is your brain. It is, I mean, you took it in the 90s, 30 years later, it's still being taken, still being tested. I don't want to say there's not negatives, but there are very few negatives to point to. And I took it as a football player because a doctor told me it helps you retain water, and I wanted to create a layer of water around my brain. Whether it worked or not, whoever knows. The reality was I was directly onto something, is it actually is improving your brain functionality. It can help with uh jet lag as you travel, it can help with focus, it can help with um being able to rebound and respawn from minor injuries and pains in your head. I think, you know, and I I've been taking it for a few years again, but again, I hear podcasts and articles and stories. It is the one, it's biting off dementia in Alzheimer's, man. Like it's insane what they're realizing this thing we naturally create, but then always supplement. I've heard, I'm not gonna be the one saying it, but I have heard it is the one thing every human being above the age of 18 should be taking. Uh sold.

Lightning Round And Closing

SPEAKER_00 49:34

I'm gonna research creatine. I'm gonna talk to my my chief financial officer, Carrie Jacob. Shout out to her. She's she's the ripal age of 52, and this is we're getting weird ailments, so maybe this is something we'll we'll do together. Summarize quickly in like 20 seconds. What what what would be two or three themes that dads can take from our from our episode to be a better leader or quarterback of their household?

SPEAKER_03 49:56

I would say it's not about wins, it's about progress. I think that to me is the biggest one. Again, inches. A journey of a thousand miles begins with an inch, and the only progress you see is in little increments. And and the only way to come back from a failure is tomorrow coming and stealing an inch. You're not gonna gain the mile back, you're gonna gain one inch, one step. So again, I love the idea, the competition of what winning means. Reframe what a win is. A win is that individual being better than they were yesterday. That is all that matters. If you can say yes to I am better today than yesterday, you have won the day. Whether your competition was better or not, you don't control. Don't focus on the things outside of your control. Focus on improvement, not just a scoreboard of performance. Um, that would be the one I would say walk out.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

Love it. Goal, brother. It's now time we're gonna go the lightning round again. Uh, I I forgot what I asked you six years ago, but I'm gonna show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits. Your job is to answer these as quickly as you can, and my job is to try to get a giggle out of you.

SPEAKER_03 51:04

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00 51:05

Okay. True or false, you once gave Drew Brees an atomic wedgie in the front.

SPEAKER_03 51:10

Oh, false. You don't you don't mess with the franchise. I try to give Drew a nickname, and literally people in the building were like, Drew doesn't do nicknames.

SPEAKER_00 51:19

Okay, okay. Okay, noted, sir. Yeah. Um favorite NFL stadium you ever played in was?

SPEAKER_03 51:28

Oof. I mean, it's gotta be New Orleans. It was then called the Mercedes, the Superdome. Um why? Because it was a party, man, and we were bumping and moving, and the Saints were really good. But that energy of being in that building, you step in there and everybody win or lose is having a good time. It's not as legendary as some other spots, but nobody has ever gone to New Orleans and gone to a football game and not had a good time.

SPEAKER_00 51:55

There we go.

SPEAKER_03 51:56

Um, last book you read was Ooh, last book I read was uh Story Worthy by Matthew Dix. Matthew, uh, and it was excellent. Um you and I, we are storytellers, you your background from sales, but we're both writers and uh thinkers in our own sense. This guy is a champion storyteller. Um, and he breaks down kind of through his own format of like, here are my stories, but how do I form a great story? And you can have the makings of a really good story. He calls it a five-second moment transition, but it's the build. It's how do you construct the artistry of a true story? That is something that like you and I naturally do. Like, hey, I didn't get to tell you, I just got kicked off an airplane. That's for another podcast, true story. But it's the construction of that story that makes it art. And I really enjoyed that book, Story Worthy.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

Love it. I I I I gotta get going to a meeting here pretty soon because, but I want to hear that story, that's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

That was a good tease. Uh huh.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

It's a great story. Bring back Jet a third time.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

It went viral. 50 million views. No big deal. We'll talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

No biggie. Um, if I came to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Uh my wife would either make, and she's the director of my household as well, a salmon bowl or a quingwa sausage bowl. Um, those are kind of the staples in the mix.

SPEAKER_00 53:30

That sounds good.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

Yeah, they're and they're they're like, we're we're right, and she poaches an egg so that yolk kind of goes into it, and it's like, oh yeah, good stuff. And you know, you look at crazy things that we I never had a Brussels sprout growing up. That was a lot of Brussels sprouts. Brussels sprouts are everywhere, they're money.

SPEAKER_00 53:47

They are good. Uh, if you were to take your wife on vacation, just you, no girls, sorry, kid, just staying home. Where are you taking her right now?

SPEAKER_03 53:55

Anywhere with a beach. I mean, Hawaii's great. Uh, we will order the same little fiction book, go sit out on a beach and read that book, and then over meals, kind of give thoughts and theories of what's happening in the story. Uh I I we're adventurers. I love walking. We just went to New York with the girls four days, 40 miles walking. Love it. If our girls aren't around and it's our choice, we're sitting in sunshine because we live in Seattle and that's enough of a gift.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

I know. We need it. Okay. Um last question, the most important one. Tell me two words that would describe your wife. Beautifully organized. God, fantastic answer. That's how I would try to describe Carrie 2. Lightning rounds complete. Uh, we both get we both giggled. We learned that Jed is not an atomic wedgie guy, but he is uh a hell of a writer, a hell of a guy. And I want to make sure that everybody go out to Amazon right now, go pick up fourth and goal. Um, you don't have to be a football guy to enjoy it. He's a hell of a storyteller. Um, you'll learn more about and also check out his work on finance, everybody. This guy has traveled to like multiple NFL facilities teaching NFL at his docks, teaching NFL athletes lessons that he learned of the the you know being around money and learning how to like save. And every dad out there needs to learn how to save and be smart, physically responsible. So he uh that's where Jed and I initially met was in the wide world of wealth management. This guy knows what he's talking about. Go check his stuff out. Brother, I appreciate you. Great seeing you, and uh, I can't wait to get the your book in everybody's hands.

SPEAKER_03 55:29

Thank you for the opportunity and just keep being you, man. Love it.

SPEAKER_00 55:33

Awesome.