Jason Balara - You Can Build A Better Life By Showing Up

A veterinary surgeon who also builds houses, runs companies, and hosts a podcast sounds like the definition of “always on,” but Jason Balara flips that story. He’s obsessed with being home for dinner, being there at bedtime, and building a family culture his kids can actually feel. If you’ve ever wondered whether work-life balance is real or just something people say online, this conversation gives you a grounded, honest look at what it takes.

We get into Jason’s path from growing up with a single mom and moving almost every year to creating the stable home he always wanted his kids to have. He breaks down how an uncle and a few key mentors shaped his work ethic, why getting paid “by the day” taught him to focus on outcomes, and how that same mindset carries into entrepreneurship and parenting. Along the way, we talk about belief as a parenting skill: protecting your kids’ curiosity, refusing to let “I can’t” become their identity, and modeling confidence without turning life into pressure.

We also go deep on patience and emotional control. Jason shares how he tries not to let outside stress spill over onto his kids, why kindness is a competitive advantage that no AI can replace, and the values he hopes his children will be known for when they’re grown. We wrap with a fun lightning round and ways to connect with Jason and his work.

If this hit home, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a dad who’s trying to show up better this week.

Transcript

Kids Intro And Season Kickoff

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hi, I'm Riley.

SPEAKER_03 0:04

And I'm Ryder. And this is my dad's show. Hey everybody, it's KTJ Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast. Welcome to season seven. Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead. If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple. It's a podcast where we we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home. So let's sit back, relax, and let's get to today's episode of the Quarterback Jackcast.

Meeting Jason And Gratitude

SPEAKER_03 0:40

Hey everybody, it's Casey Jacobs with the Quarterback Deckcast. Welcome to Season 7. Again, we're actually getting close to the tail end of season seven. And our next guest, thankfully, is referred to us by the one known like Paul Salter. Um I interviewed Paul earlier this year. Uh Paul had me on his podcast, and Paul said, Man, I gotta I gotta duty get a talk, but his name is Jason Ballara. And this gentleman has has got quite a meant quite a few fires. I mean, iron's the fire, that's the right, that's the right uh uh figure speech. The guy's in real estate, he's in construction, he's in podcasting. Uh oh yeah, he's also a veterinary surgeon. Um, I don't think we've ever had anybody with that eclectic of a background, but more importantly, we are here to learn about Jason the dad and how he's working hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of his household. Well, without further ado, Mr. Villara, welcome to the quarterback dadcast. Thanks, Casey.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Really, really appreciate you having me looking forward to the conversation.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

You bet, man. Well, we always start out each episode gratitude. So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Uh my wife, really. I I I think she um, as you mentioned, I have a lot of I uh irons in the fire, and uh, but she is the one who makes sure the house keeps keeps running appropriately. She actually works with me as well. So I mean it's not it's not just that. So she's she does she does all the things and I couldn't do without her. So I really think that that's uh if I if I owe anyone a deep debt of gratitude, it's her.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Well, you never can go wrong, dads, by by throwing love to the wife. So um I'm grateful for this past weekend. My wife and I were we're recording on June 1st. This episode will come out um uh in the coming week to month or so. But um my wife and I spent time on the East Coast, and I literally got back late last night, got to bed around 12:30, and the dogs woke up at 7, just like fired up to miss mom and dad. And uh I'm grateful I have a great attitude today. And I'm not like I'm smoking. I'm just like, and it's funny, I right before we joined, I read our read a uh a quote that serendipitously hit me from Lou Holtz that he talked about a long time ago. So it's funny sometimes when these little signs in the universe uh poke at you. Um just a reminder that attitude is a great something we have control over. So I'm I'm grateful for that mindset today. Uh well, bring me inside the huddle

Marriage Story And Two Young Kids

SPEAKER_03 3:00

um per se, Jason. Tell me how you and your wife met and then who else is on the squad.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Yeah, so uh my wife and I met. I I guess the easiest way to say it is we work together. We actually worked for the same company um at different locations. And uh I had actually just moved to um Charlotte, North Carolina from I'm originally from Boston, moved down there. That was my first like move away from the from the state uh in my life and was was alone. And one of my friends that I worked with introduced me to her, and um, yeah, we just we hit it off. That was a long time ago. She uh she was very patient because I had come from a divorce, and uh when we met, I was 100% never getting married again. So she she she was patient and waited for me, and uh I'm so grateful that she did. And now we have um two kids. Uh our oldest Logan, he's seven and a half. Um he's he's amazing, and uh our daughter as well. She is she actually turns five in five days. So I guess by the time this comes out, her birthday will have passed. She'll be she'll be five. But uh she's a firecracker. She's um, you know, we we have a we've had a lot of different nicknames for her, um, some more appropriate than others, but uh she's she's amazing and and she's certainly uh a daddy's girl. So uh I'm I'm like I said, back to the gratitude piece. I'm I could not be more happy with uh you know the family I've got.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

There we go. Um what do and what are your both kids uh into so far? Are they are they showing interest in certain things?

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Uh my my son loves dinosaurs. He's he's he says he wants to be a paleontologist, but he but he you know there's a lot of he has a lot of other interests. He recently started uh guitar lessons, so he's he plays soccer. They're just uh you know, they're it's fun. They're in that age where they're kind of they I love that they think they can be good at anything, and they're just like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna try this. And so uh yeah, he's pretty great. Um she does gymnastics, uh she she is she's very athletic. Um I don't know if she'll be I don't know if she'll be more of a individual sport type of person when she grows up, but she also really likes to build like her dad. So she she talks about being uh a builder with me at some point, and she's very, very good um with uh, you know, Legos, magnetiles, things like more so than you might think, I think at her age. So I I like watching her work really, which is kind of a funny thing to say about a five-year-old, but she's she's actually quite quite good.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

That's awesome. Ironically, that's where I just was was in Boston.

unknown 5:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

I was just I just came back from have you heard of an island called Cutty Hunk?

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Funny enough, no. Uh I I feel like I should have when you say I I expected to say yes to no matter what you came up with, but uh but no, I have not heard of Cuddy Hunk.

SPEAKER_03 5:58

There's so many people who are from Boston that have never heard of Cutty Hunk. It's literally uh we we we fly to Boston, we drive south to New Bedford, and we take a boat to Cutty Hunk. It's like an hour boat ride. It's it's near the vineyard. It's kind of it's a small, very, very small island.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Everything else you said I'm very familiar with, but no, I have not heard of Cutty Hunk. So that I mean, that's cool. That I uh I love Boston. Boston's a great city. I don't like the winter, which is why I don't live there anymore, but it's uh but otherwise it's a phenomenal city, and and this time of year is beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Yeah, we got we got good weather two days, and then one day we got like 50 to 60 mile-hour winds.

unknown 6:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Yeah, that sounds about right. It was definitely in that uh time of year where you can have you're not getting snow, but you can still have you know pretty pretty substantial weather swings in one way or the other.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Yeah. Um, okay, man. Well, bring me back uh to what was life like growing up for you. And I'd love to I'd love to learn about the uh the impact mom and dad had on you um as you think about the values that were instilled in you uh now that you're a dad as you reflect.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Yeah. Uh so I I I grew up with a single mom uh and me and my brother. I I've actually never I've never met my biological father. I have um my mom married when I was five, so I was adopted by him. Um to be honest, we weren't particularly close until I got older because they they went on and and got divorced. And so my brother and he were close, but but we weren't particularly close until I got older. I would say my probably my um main early years father figure was my uncle. Um my uncle kind of stepped in. I'm not sure if he did this consciously or not, but my mom's from a they had seven kids. Um so my uncle was only 12 years older than me,

Growing Up With A Single Mom

SPEAKER_01 7:50

but he kind of took me under his wing when I was um 13, 14. I went and started working with him. Uh he definitely, you talk about values, like he definitely taught me my work ethic. There's there's um I will give him 100% of the credit for me being the the worker that I am today. He's he's always been a big a big piece of my life. Um I also had coaches that I I considered. Uh my soccer coach, uh also one of my very, very good friends' father was our soccer coach. He was um you know pretty pretty fantastic father figure to me as well. So um a lot of that came from kind of outside the family that that helped me uh develop my values, but but also my mom. My mom had to do both jobs and be you know kind of the the mom. There's a there's a uh a line from an MM song that talks about, you know, you were my mom and my dad when he's talking about his mom, and and that always resonates with me. My mom, you know, kind of had to do all of it. And in terms of values, I I I would attribute a lot of it to her, just the way I look at the world, the way I treat people, that kind of thing. I think um a lot of that very much came from mom.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

How um tell me how your uncle instilled hard work or uh great work ethic in you?

SPEAKER_01 9:06

I mean he has I I think one of the best ways you can teach someone something is lead by example. So he has a phenomenal work ethic. Um and and we just we worked hard. It's a funny thing that uh when I was so when I worked for him people might think this is weird. He paid me by the day. And I wish I'm well, I'm so thankful that that happened. At the time, I don't know that I was thankful, but in hindsight, I like because what that taught me was well, I get the paid, I get paid the same amount if I finish all the work by you know three or seven, right? Like if we're gonna work for the day. So it that type of I I've never um I've never been one who wanted to be paid hourly ever in in any capacity, because I think that's just a recipe for wasting time. And and so I I think that that has helped it helped develop my work ethic, but also um probably put some of that entrepreneurial spirit in me, even when I worked for other people. I I wanted to be paid on performance, uh, and I and I and I want that for people who work for me too. So I would say uh, you know, some of it by leading by example, he was always working just as hard as I was alongside me, and and then again, just whether on purpose or just on accident, the way that I got paid sort of taught me, hey, look, if I get more done in less time, effectively I'm making more money.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

Are you and him still close today?

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Yeah, we I mean he's still back in Massachusetts, so we don't talk as much as we used to, but uh but yeah, I mean I no um no no fall apart. He has three of his own kids now that are adults. So I was uh I think in a lot of ways, you know, he was I always I always think of him on Father's Day and and I I always think of myself maybe as sort of one of his first kid. I was I was 18 when his actual first kid was born, and uh and I'm her godfather. So yeah, we're we're we're that's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

Um tell me what mom did for a job or jobs.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Mainly a waitress. Um she did a lot of I think for a while she was worked in real estate, um did did some other uh bookkeeping, things like that. Just I mean, but but largely she was a waitress. I think a lot of that had to do with having two kids and being able to work at night, and and I ended up you know being being home with my brother on on some of those nights, but um that's when that was the the bulk of it was was being a waitress.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Um I'm always amazed, like there's I've interviewed over 350 dads, and there I've met a lot of dads who were raised by single parents, single moms specifically, and they're turning to be this like crazy go-getters. Um it's always fun to to share those stories and um uh at what point did you ever like as you reflect as we're talking now, do you I mean do you reflect back to like maybe flash points or those pivotal moments where you just kind of said, man, this is like I don't know, like this how I'm being raised or how I'm how I'm learning this is gonna shape me later as a as a dad, and I I can't wait to become a dad.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

I yeah, I always wanted I I always felt like I wanted kids. Um I think one one thing that shaped me, I guess, that's that's relevant to I guess being a dad, but also like just the rest

Work Ethic, Moving, And Home

SPEAKER_01 12:45

of my career. We moved almost every year until I was in high school. And so um I didn't have I didn't really have a home. Like I I like we we rented always, so I never really felt like I had home. I didn't have um a lot of friends because I was I moved every year until high school. And then I think what that that taught me maybe the value of um a few very close friends is much more important to me than uh than having you know like knowing a whole bunch of people. So it's good and it's bad. I'm probably not very good in social situations because of that, but at the same time, uh you know, the friends that I have, you know, are are meaningful and have been for a long time. So I think I think that piece shaped me a lot. Um in in in like, and I I guess the importance of providing, like the importance of having a home for my kids. Like we we moved so much, and like I said, I didn't really think about uh having a home. And it didn't it really didn't bother me in my life eventually to move. I didn't it was just normal. And so even after that, I moved plenty of times in my adult life, never really bothered me. I didn't care about having a lot of stuff. Well, now we have a house and our kids were born here, and I never want to move. Like, like now it's now I'm dad, this is their home, and uh like I'll just keep adding to this house. Whatever we need will happen at this house because until they're done and and moved out and have families of their own, like I want them to have that piece, that piece that that I didn't have. And I I didn't know, I don't know that I felt like I was lacking something. It's just now that I have it for my kids, I'm very happy to to you know provide that that home for them.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Probably gives you different, I mean a lot, a lot of perspective too. I'd imagine. And just like uh try again back to grad to how we started today. It's like grateful for what your mom as hard as she worked, and then now grateful that you're in a spot where you can maybe give your kids something you you didn't have. Um how does one uh you know, raised by single single mom, you're you're moving a lot, but then you you you get into a career that's I would think highly um

Construction Mindset In Surgery

SPEAKER_03 15:10

very competitive, I would think, to get into and become a veterinarian surgeon. Like that's that's no joke.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Uh well most I would say I would say most people that become veterinarians, a lot of it they're the kid that loves animals, right? And and I was that, like I always loved animals, and because of that, thought I was gonna be a veterinarian. Um and so I I I I think I mentioned, you know, construction became a part of my life also in my teen years, again, some with my uncle, but also because I wanted to own a house, and the only way I could over afford a house was to buy like a terrible house that needed a lot of fixing. And so I just started kind of got my got my hands dirty. Um, and so those things were going in parallel, like college and and um before vet school, but I lived in Massachusetts. And as a young person, when you're in construction, you're the you're the grunt work, you're the one that's carrying the shingles up and down the ladder, you're the one that's out there in the cold, you're the one that's that's doing all of the stuff. And so that's what construction life meant to me if I stayed in that. Becoming a veterinarian meant I could work inside during the winter. That like like very very simply uh was something that I could um do, you know, and not be outside in the winter. When I went to vet school, when I started vet school, I didn't know you could specialize. I didn't know that I could become specifically a surgeon. Um I figured that out probably in the second year of vet school. And once I figured that I could do figured out that I could do that, I had a number of mentors, and I was like, this is what I want to do. How do I make that happen? And I literally just like followed the playbook that that you know my mentor laid down for me and and and that was it. And it people uh people think that it's very, you know, oh how veterinary surgeon and construction, like those don't it I'm just a highly educated carpenter in a lot of ways. Like it's it's uh I like to work with my hands, I like fix stuff, I have I have good vision. So like when uh when I'm presented with a with something that's broken, whether it's a house or a leg, um, in my mind I can see what it looks like at the end, and then I just have to make that happen. So it's uh they're they're more related than you might think, but I understand why people don't see the the correlation. But both have been very good to me uh from uh career perspectives for different reasons.

SPEAKER_03 17:51

Do you remember what age you were when you said, man, I I I I'm gonna this is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

I mean, I always thought I was gonna be a vet. I always did. Um I actually didn't get into vet school on the first try, and then I worked I worked in in the field in in various different positions. Um and then when I got in, uh I like I said, it was vet school's four years. I I I knew I wanted to be a surgeon by the second year. It takes an additional four years of training after vet school. So like I have a lot of schooling and training under my belt uh for all of that to be specialized. So I mean I was uh 29. Sorry, no, I was 33 when I finished my residency, which is like the last step of becoming a specialist. So yeah, I was 33 when I when I completed everything and and could like officially call myself a

Raising Kids With Belief

SPEAKER_01 18:50

surgeon.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

It's impressive, man. Well, you said something earlier about when you're talking about your kids, and and you said that that you know they have this like big big belief, whether it's you know working with dinosaurs or um and and that the the power of the word believe is something I'm really really obsessed with. And uh I that word like I I help I help a lot of like I'd say sales leaders, business leaders just work on helping their teams find belief. Um, because if you don't believe what you do, you're not gonna sell a thing. If you don't believe in yourself, you're not gonna be you're gonna be not good in your job. So let's start there and try to figure out why. And I think it's I've had a lot of good conversations with my buddies and even other dads I've interviewed around instilling belief in your kids and never never taking away their curiosity or their dreams. It's I mean that's such a bad thing we as parents can do. I hate the judge, but I guess I am. So kudos to you for um for doing that. But I'm I'm curious, where did your um who instilled that in you?

SPEAKER_01 19:55

My mom. My mom my mom's a dreamer. For better or worse, my mom's a dreamer. I I think there's uh in some ways it has probably held her back, um, like financially held her back. I don't think she cares. I honestly like I think it probably bothers me more than it bothers her. Um but she yeah, she she's a dreamer. And and I will say, like, having kids having kids changed me a lot. Like it it it in a in a good way um and brought a lot of that belief back to me. So I would I would give some that some of that credit to them. I I I think that you know, thus far, they've probably probably taught me as much, if not more, than I've taught them. And and that I just I've always been curious. I like so so that part um I think fits with with kids and and their curiosity. But I also I try very, very hard not to say no to like I won't let them say I can't, and say I need help, but I won't let them say I can't. Like I there's just certain things that I I don't want to take that belief away from them, and and they and I think it's working. My you know, you asked about what do they want to do, what do they want to be, and and they both have multiple things. And when I uh if I even suggest that, oh that's a lot of things, they're like, Yeah, but but daddy, you're a a surgeon and you you're a builder and you have an electrical company, and like like so they're watching for sure. And so if I'm if I'm not projecting that belief in them and and a and myself, I guess, like they're they're that's where it goes, that's how it gets squashed in in because I think they're all born with it. I think they all believe literally they can do anything, like I just have to make sure that they're safe about it, is really what it comes down to.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

What's tell me the biggest thing you've learned from your kids that they taught you?

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Patience probably is probably the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

I mean, so they are I I Had kids older in life than probably a lot of parents. Like I, you know, I my my son was born in when I was 44. So I'm I'm the old dad, but like I don't realistically, I don't think I would have been as good a dad if I had them in my 20s. Maybe even like I just don't know that I would have been able to recognize some of the things I recognized in them. But but they've that's definitely taught me patience. Like patience with them, patience just in general. Like things aren't always gonna go your way, and and you can either get upset about it or you can figure out, you know, what am I gonna do about it? And so I can the things I've hear myself saying to them could easily be said to myself as well in a lot of cases.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

Patience is something we've talked about a lot in this podcast. It's something that Monforche, shout out to my my pops who rest in peace. He he passed down the lack of patience to me. And uh, I think as a competitive person, it's something I have to I have to really, really watch. Um uh I think having this podcast has actually helped me become more patient because I'm reminded I'm I'm talking about it so much. Um during this journey, this entrepreneurial entrepreneur, whether it's you know the coaching work I do or the podcast, it's I this phrase hit me, it says listen to learn versus persuade. And like that has taught me more patience. Um can you think of an example that might help a dad at home where where how patience helped you? Where maybe the younger Jason it would have hurt you?

SPEAKER_01 23:32

Uh yeah, I mean, I think just the like we're all gonna get frustrated. You have a you have a long day, you're you're tired, you have a hard something else. What I I think maybe the the best examples just come with um not like stress that isn't caused by my kids shouldn't be put on my kids. And so you know, I everybody has those examples. I don't even know like a specific thing, but it's like, oh, you know, you get this phone call or email that you're like, come on, like just some something, something, and it's like that that can bring you down. And what I realized, like we all I'm told that everybody snaps at their kids here and there, and I I I try very, very hard not to, and it bothers me if I do. So it's like I think that that recognizing like this wasn't them, and if anybody's gonna cheer me up when there was something hard or bad, it's them. So just let them just just let them be that light for you, because they are like they are, and and be the light for them back, and it's just I think it's um you know there's there's probably a million examples of that, but you know, we all just have hard days, and it's easy to let that um come out on your family because that that's your most that's usually your most comfortable place, and it's like uh you know, you can spend all day at work and you're like, I gotta be professional, I gotta be professional, I gotta be professional, and then you s come home and step on a Lego and you're like ah, it's like the rage comes out, but it's like that that's not they didn't do it. They did, you know. So I I think it's just it's it's overall themes, I would say.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Yeah, those are good. I think it's good all is dads, you know, just slowing down before you respond.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

And um perfect. It's it's easy to I I think about my my dad. My dad could drop the best, god damn it. God damn it, Casey. He would, and we literally make me and my sister start laughing when he would do it. And so I never never wanted to be that dad, but like there's so many things my dad did do that was just you know great memories and supportive. Um but I I think when we when we respond with anger or frustration, which again we're flawed humans, what's gonna happen? Like, are you able to apologize? Are you able to like fix it quickly? Are we able to like, or just you just like pretend didn't happen and you just move on your day? Well, those memories that we're creating, unfortunately, negatively are hitting home for our kids, and they're gonna remember that stuff.

Sponsor: Do You Believe It Matters

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Hey everyone, my name is Blaise Basel, and I hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Quarterback Dadcast. In case you're wondering, I'm a fellow dad and also the president of Kelly Mitchell. Kelly Mitchell is an employee-owned technology solutions firm, and we help organizations solve complex business challenges. I think at the end of the day, we're we're focused on our team doing work that matters for our clients. And that's because the way you show up matters, the way you treat people, clients, teammates, really everyone. That shapes the experience and the results that follow. I think similarly, Casey has had a real impact on our team internally at Kelly Mitchell. He spent time with us most recently in St. Louis with our sales team. And while he was there, he asked a question that really stuck with me. And that was do you believe that what you do matters? That question stayed with us. It's changed how we approach our day-to-day, how we prepare, how we communicate, and ultimately how we follow through. That's why the experience Casey brings to his customers has made such an impact. Because whether when people believe their work matters, everything works better across the team with our clients and definitely in results. So we appreciate you, Casey, and now back to the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 27:29

As you

Kindness, Adversity, And Being Present

SPEAKER_03 27:30

think about uh, you know, 18 years from now or 15 years from now, and and and you can say as you and your wife reflect, it's like, man, these are if when they think of the Bilar kids, man, I'm glad that they say they are A, B, and C. Like what would be, tell me what would be the the values or the traits that you you would love them to be described as.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

Uh number one is kind. We we talk about that a lot in our family. We treat treat people with kind kindness, all people. Um I I uh hard work, hardworking, uh, I think would would be on there too. And that's you know, that's one of those things that um I I know where my work ethic came from, and some of it comes from struggle, and I don't want my kids to struggle, but I also want them to have a good work ethic. So that's that's an internal uh struggle that I have myself, and you know, they're they're still pretty young, so I think we've got time to figure that out, but but I that is something that um I I want to instill with in them.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Um and and I would say uh you know, if there's a third thing, I want them to support each other.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Like I want them to to have each other's backs, and I think that that's um not all siblings do that. I'm sure lots of them do, but I did I do think you know there's different levels of of closeness amongst families, and so I I hope that the closeness they have now stays.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

It's a good one, man. I um I obviously I'm not super close to my sister, and I w wish we were, and and I I always tell my kids, I'm like, this family you got, you know, I hope they they stay close. I mean they have a good relationship. It's uh more like sarcastic. They're my son's 20, my daughter will be 18 this fall. I'm about to become an empty nester. Crazy to think about. Um kindness is such a I I love that one, man. I mean, how you treat people is everything. Yeah. How you treat and and that's because how you treat people, that's how you I think you create these holistic moments for people like, man, that guy or uh she was fantastic. Well, being nice is I would tell people also it doesn't gonna not be replaced by AI. Right. So 100%. You need AI to be nice. Yeah, just it's choice.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Yes, yeah. There's certain things that are like really baseline. The bars the bars actually quite low. And if you can just focus on, you know, be kind, do what you say you were gonna do, you're you're probably ahead of, you know, 50%, maybe like maybe even higher than that. I there's there's a few baseline things that I think are are real easy for anybody to do to set themselves apart.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

Um, we talked about hard work, and you know, you said something that kind of made me think about because I had a lot of adversity, I mean some I'd say first world adversity, um, whether injury in sports, um, had to had to just work my tail off in high school to get better grades, to like battle through an injury. Um, you know, those like experiences definitely shaped me. And now it's funny, my you know, my son, he's he's going through hard, hard work. My daughter, she unfortunately is tore ACL, so she's now having to learn about that. So it's like you don't want to see your kids go through these things, but that's what but you have to go through tough times because that's how you get your grit. Um, and so it's it's it's a tough one I wrestle with too because you want to provide means and provide opportunity, which is privilege at times, but it's also when they aren't uh when they're when they aren't going through those things, then it makes our job as parents even harder.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it's a it's a it's a tough balance to strike.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

And I like I said, my kids are probably young enough that it's I'm not quite there yet, but but soon I think I think uh my son at least is getting there. And I you know your kids by the time you're you know they're teenagers, they're definitely going to have to face some levels of adversity and and how we manage that? I don't know the answer. I just know that that's a thing I think about a lot that that I'll I'll you know have as a big focus for me as they grow old.

SPEAKER_03 31:49

Well, I think we have going for it, you're already curious, which is good. And you got some you got some uh years on you, as maybe you mentioned, as you said, an older dad. I think it's probably good to have some some wisdom. Um, I think one thing that always helped me with my kids and our kids is just reminding them like as related to a sports perspective, as I said, dad does have any eligibility left. I was lucky enough to play in college, I have no eligibility left. So if this is what you want to do, I can I can show you what I did to get there, but I'm not gonna do it for you. And this is your journey, not mine. And so I think just constantly reminding myself of that, whether what which is probably you know, I played football in college, but my my son he plays golf in college, and my daughter, she's gonna go at basketball in college. I wasn't good at golf as as him, as, and I was not as good as basketball server. So I'm actually glad that we as me and my wife helped them find something that they wanted to do, and then just like ignite it um to help them find. I think that's what any that's what parenting really I think it should be about is helping your kids um find what they want to do. But the number one metric I think is dads is like are your kids happy? You know, and I think sometimes in this wide world of you know competitive sports, and I'm on I'm three years old and I'm on two travel teams.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Right, right. You know sometimes the press the uh pressuring them at at such a young age, I think, is uh I don't know. I I don't know. I I love sports too. You hear about you know, you hear about the guys that made it because they were pressured so much as kids, and you hear about uh but then you know there's the opposite side. It's like I don't know what the right answer is, and it it's probably some balance of of all of it, but but I think probably the the best approach is like you said, like your kids found something, like you didn't push them into football, right? They found their thing, and if you let them find their thing that they're passionate about, it's probably gonna be a whole lot easier to then push them and say, Hey, if you really want to be top of this, you know, top of this sport, you you're gonna have to also practice. Like talent won't be enough, you're gonna have to also put in so it's but if they're excited about it and it's something they enjoy, then that that's probably a path.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

I'd say it's one of the coolest moments when you see your kid find something that he or she likes to do and grinds, just grinds. It um it's it's been super rewarding. Um and even like I think about my daughter's injury, I I I lost my senior year, Jason, to an injury in high school. Um 30 something years later, my daughter loses her senior year to injury. It's in a sport, it's serendipitous, and she's going to play basketball where I played football. So it's like it's like a Disney. I told my this could be a good children's book. Yeah, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Well, when she comes back even stronger, that's uh that'll be the the fairy tale ending.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

That's the hope, man. That is that is the hope. Um tell me what would be your most proud moment as a dad so far.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Um I this is funny, I have I have a business coach, um, and I'm I'm very reluctant, uh this may be obvious. I'm very reluctant to be proud of myself. Uh I'm I'm I'm proud of my kids, I'm proud of my wife. Like I I like to give it out, but I have a hard time with this. What I would say is um I recently said this out loud. I am proud that I have become an entrepreneur. Um it has not all gone perfectly, but I have been able to continue to support my family while still being there. And so that is that yeah, that's that's my my probably my proudest accomplishment is that I you know I I I have a good fallback. I being a veterinary surgeon is a good fallback. I could go get a job tomorrow easily, uh but I wouldn't be home with them. There would be I would be on someone else's schedule, and so the the fact that I've been able to to you know figure things out and still be around for them and I'm I'm home for virtually every single dinner. I I'm almost always there to put them to bed. Like I the things that are um meaningful and st and still get to have, you know, we have a house that we live in and we have things, enough things. So uh I would say that's probably probably my proudest, I don't know that that's a moment, but uh, but that is um something that I'm I'm very proud of. And you know, seeing we're talking about sports. My son um he took a he he started started playing soccer, maybe because I wanted to when he was younger, uh, and then didn't want to play and then asked to go back to it uh this last the spring season. Um and I was very, very proud of the the growth that he showed in over the season and and just how it goes back to what I was saying before, like we let him be excited about it, and now he's he's playing well. He's playing, he's wearing my number and playing my position, which was uh that was pretty that was that got me. That got me when when they asked him what number he wants wanted and he he picked mine. I was uh that was that was a emotional moment, but uh I yeah. So I I would say there's certainly I'm proud of them every day, so it's hard to pick a thing.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

What what number and what position?

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Uh eight is the number, and um he's playing defense, which is funny. That's not what I grew up playing, but it's what I play now. Um, and so I had to learn uh a new position in my 40s, basically. Like that was what the team needed, and I wanted to be on the field, so I figured that out, and now he uh and he he's playing that on his team, so it's kind of it's kind of fun to show him what I've figured out and practice together and that. So it's it's pretty love it.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Well, I think in in one word, I I think you described well, actually two words, being present. Yeah, that's what you're most proud of, and I think it's a great thing to be proud of. Actually, I was a guest on someone else's podcast, and I told a story when I was in my 30s, where you know, life was great, corporate was driving, business was great, perceptions is amazing, but like and deep down I was like not having fun because I was getting home 15 minutes before they go to bed. I'm like, this sucks. Yeah, you know, and I remember I made a change when I was probably 33, 34-ish, 35 maybe. And I and I my boss helped me uh change kind of the way I work, and and I left at four. And in a corporate, high pressure sales role, sales leadership, that was like unheard of, but like we made it work and it shaped our culture, it shaped me. Um you know, I still it helped me like learn the power of like um delegation and trust in your team and inspiring them to to you know do new things, but I also could have two hours with my family every night.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:51

And I do jump online afterwards, but like and working on I know some people like disagree with like you can't, there's no such thing as presence. I I I um you know, balance, I think I did find it. Um sounds like you found it too, and it's constantly you're working at it. But I I again back to believe, I might as well try and just be the person that says they can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

You're right, exactly. Like you just you either keep trying, uh, you know, or you give up. And I think I think balance, I think balance exists. I just don't think it's what it's not like looking at a scale and having the two sides perfectly even. It's it's just you know, some sometimes everybody goes to bed and I go back to work. I get up, you know, I get up at four or five o'clock almost every day. Like I there are things that you know, sacrifices that I make. I I I didn't used to do that. I didn't get up early, like I didn't I always got up sort of early, but I I I didn't think about like, oh, if I still want to go to the gym regularly, I gotta get up at 4 30 so that I can do it and it doesn't impact what the you know my family in in by taking up time. So it's just there's ways to do it. It's just you just gotta you just gotta want to.

SPEAKER_02 40:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

Love it, man. Um okay.

How To Reach Jason

SPEAKER_03 40:10

How uh if people want to learn more about you, they want to learn more about your work as a veterinarian, a surgeon, they want to learn more about LARP Capital, about finding your why, they want to learn more about your podcast. Um, Jason, tell me what's the best way people can go about doing that.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

Yeah, I mean you can Google me um and find all of it because nobody else is named Jason Bellara. But the uh the uh there's the Lark LarkCapital.com is is our website for that. There's the web the podcast isn't is um know your why. Uh and you know we have we have our construction websites. I mean there the easiest thing if you want to connect with me is just email me, Jason at larkcapital.com. That that's probably the I'm I'm on LinkedIn and social media. Like it's I'm not hard to find, I guess. Awesome.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

Well, um I I love I love what I love most about this podcast is one it it I'm grateful for people like you who share their story if and and if your story or our conversation can help a dad like slow down to be a little bit more present or a little bit more curious or a little bit more patient um then we're doing good things for the world. Um I know I feel better after each one of these conversations. I just always encourage dads, like you don't need a podcast to slow down to have these talks. Pick up the phone, don't text somebody, pick up the phone and have a conversation with your friend. Um don't feel like you can't call them just because you but call them just to really and ask a few more questions than you normally would and watch what happens as like relationships develop and form. And I think when we do these things specifically in front of our kids, they're watching and they can learn.

Lightning Round Fun

SPEAKER_03 41:46

Jason, it's now time to go into the lightning round where I uh show you the negative hits of taking too many uh hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits. Uh, your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can, and I hope to get a good giggle out of you. Okay. Uh true or false, you played soccer uh at Tufts. False. Uh true or false, you're the only veterinarian surgeon to operate on Jaws. False. Okay. There's a tie. I both giggled out.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:20

Gotta there we go. What is your favorite uh favorite animal to operate on?

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Uh dogs. I have um I have operated on chimpanzee, cheetah, like a few other exotic things, but but dogs most of the time, and and and so I I get to do the most help there.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

Okay. Uh if you were to take your wife on vacation, sorry kids, you're staying home. Where are you taking her? Uh Hawaii. Okay. Um favorite genre of music that might surprise the people you work with is what would surprise people?

SPEAKER_01 42:59

Uh rap. I like MM's my favorite, favorite artist.

SPEAKER_03 43:03

Okay. There we go. Um if uh if I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?

SPEAKER_01 43:10

Uh barbecue. Something something on the on the smoker. Steaks, burgers, sausages, something like that.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

Okay, here you go. I'm getting hungry now.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

Hopefully you're not a vegetarian. If you're a vegetarian, I could do some veggie burger.

SPEAKER_03 43:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

Um favorite comedy movie of all time is you know, I listen to your podcast and I knew this question was coming, and I'm still like, I favorite comedy. I don't know that I have a favorite comedy movie. Uh I like can I say a sh like Ted Lasso is pretty hysterical. Uh there's probably more like shows. Uh a recent one is Rooster on HP. I loved Rooster. That first episode I literally laughed for like the whole 30 minutes or whatever. They're short episodes, but um also

SPEAKER_03 44:00

good dad stuff on rooster um but yeah so i i think like more more uh more shows than than necessarily comedy movies i like action movies rooster great call man that's i i'm a big correl fan um but man that was such a good there's so many great things there from I'm glad you mentioned that so hopefully people go check it out um okay if there was to be a book written about your life come with the title know your why know your why okay now Jason know your why is it's sold out everywhere no one can find a copy of it it's it's out of airports it's out of Amazon Barnes and Noble no one can print enough copies now Netflix found out about this they're gonna make a movie you're the casting director it can't be you I need to know who's gonna star the one and only Jason Ballara in Know Your Why Christian Bale okay and then last and most important question tell me two words I would describe your wife just two um amazing I feel like I don't I don't even have adequate words hard like what's what's the right uh just just love I I like like she uh yeah amazing and love I don't know it's a that's a very hard uh that's a very hard question to answer to narrow it down to to two words specifically but but I think uh she is you know she's the heartbeat of the family for sure well I think amazing and love are very well descriptive large words that that

Reviews, Sharing, And Goodbye

SPEAKER_03 45:30

encompass so many great things um lightning round is complete we both giggled um I love your story man uh I hope there's a single I hope there's a dad out there or maybe a younger dad that maybe hasn't that maybe at one point said told themselves a story that doesn't exist and your story inspires them to to you know what go why not you you know why not go do something big why not go accomplish something big like we all have 1440 minutes a day no one gets more no one gets less it's up best what we do with it um and I I think it's really really cool of your entrepreneurial spirit your how grounded you are how present you are and uh I'm really grateful to Paul Salter for introducing us Jason um everybody if you've not taken time to leave us review um on wherever you consume these podcasts please do so that'll help us keep this bad boy going and if this episode spoke to you please text or share it with a friend that would that would mean the world to us um but Jason I appreciate you man I'm grateful for your time and um I hope to have a chance to connect you again soon and maybe meet you in person one day. Yeah that would be great thanks so much for uh having me on you betcha well thank you again everybody for listening to this week's episode and a huge favor now if you have enjoyed this podcast please wherever you just listen to it go into the your phone the computer and click on reviews and leave us a review leave us a rating hopefully five stars if you if you like it a lot which will help us be easily to be found by new listeners that are going to be wanting to learn more about the quarterback dad cast learn about ways they can become an ultimate quarterback or leader of their household and even better yet if this episode touched you please share it with a friend uh find another episode that you like share that episode with a friend we're gonna continue to keep growing this thing in quest to get to a thousand dads so I appreciate you uh continue to listen each and every week and thank you again for all your support and wish you uh a great rest of your day and we can't wait to see you next week see everybody