Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

Dave Welty - Learn To Take A Breath And Be The Dad They Trust

Casey Jacox Season 7 Episode 363

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A dad can do a lot of things “right” and still miss the point. This conversation with Dave Welty hit me because he doesn’t talk about fatherhood like a performance; he talks about it like a practice: show up, mean what you say, and take a breath when your kid is having a rough day. 

Dave Welty is the CEO and founder of Avier Wealth Advisors, a long-running wealth advisory firm in Bellevue, Washington.  However, what stood out most was his honesty about the moments that shaped him as a parent, from growing up with serious financial stress to learning, in real time, how to connect with two sons who are wired completely differently.

We dig into what it looks like to support a kid without trying to control the story. Dave shares how his younger son, adopted from Guatemala, found joy and identity through live music, and how a simple daily routine during COVID turned into real trust and confidence. We also talk about youth sports and the pressure cooker it can become for families, including the moment Dave’s son called him out for sideline coaching. Instead of doubling down, Dave listened and changed, and that shift is a blueprint for any parent trying to lead with humility.

You’ll also hear Dave’s perspective on resilience and values: why your word matters, why presence matters more than perfection, and why opportunity is not evenly distributed. We even get into the leadership side of his work, including building a more diverse team on purpose and creating an environment where clients can feel seen and safe. 

If you care about fatherhood, parenting mindset, adoption, youth sports parenting, and leadership at home, this one stays with you. Subscribe to The Quarterback Dadcast, share this with a parent who needs it, and leave a review so more dads can find the show.

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Welcome And What This Show Is

SPEAKER_01

Welcome to speeds in the can't wait for this season because there's a lot of great guests. If we do this podcast really simple, it's a podcast where we depth, we learn about how there were ways, we live about it. We learn about the values that are formed them in the world, and we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our full stone. So let's just back for lack and listen to today's episode on the quarterback jacket. Everybody, it's KTJCox with the quarterback jacket. We are in season seven, and this next gentleman I'm very excited to talk about because uh even though I don't know him that well depends I have spoken to them, I feel like he and I have a lot in common from a mindset perspective, how we believe in leadership. Um I'm sure there's gonna be other things we're gonna learn more about each other. Colorado Mesa alum. The last 27 years he's built one hell of a wealth management from Colavier, wealth advisors. Uh, he is the CEO and founder. The guy travels more than probably anybody I think I've ever met in my entire life, but that has nothing to do with why we're having Dave Wells on the podcast running him on because we're gonna learn about Dave's dad and how he continues to work hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of this household. So further ado, Mr. Wealthy, welcome to the quarterback tech.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you very much, Casey, and I'm

Gratitude As A Dad

SPEAKER_00

delighted to be here.

SPEAKER_01

Sounds good. Well, we always start out each episode gratitude. So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?

SPEAKER_00

Um, I think as a dad, I get to look at my two boys who are 23 and 26 and literally pinch myself every morning with the lives that they're living. Every day.

SPEAKER_01

So cool.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well we'll we'll learn more about how you did that in a little bit, but I'd say what I'm grateful for uh today is July 28th. Subso will come out um in the near future. And tomorrow is a travel day for me and my son, my daughter, my son's girlfriend, my son's girlfriend's sister, who's gonna become my daughter's college roommate. And I'm bracing, I'm racing for empty nest life here shortly. And I I usually my wife is the beast to travel, like keeping us in line and organizing everything. Well, tomorrow that's my role. And so it's gonna, I'm traveling with four kids and can't wait. So grateful that opportunity tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00

Put your seatbelt on and enjoy every moment of it.

SPEAKER_01

100%.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, okay, so we got a 23 and 26 year old. Um, bring us inside the wealthy hut a little bit, and then also tell us how you and your uh lovely bride met.

SPEAKER_00

So back in 19, trying to think of these dates, I gotta get this right. I think it was 88-ish. I'd been in Seattle for a few years, and I was a single guy running around, and you know, every which place you could go on a Friday, Saturday night, and sometimes on a Sunday night. And um, there used to be a place out on Lake Union called Kuchina Cochina. Oh, yeah. And um, I was there on a Saturday night with this guy that I was hanging out with at the time, and I'm in the bar, and it's early. I mean, things hadn't gotten going yet, and this gal walks in and she's by herself, and she stands at the hostess stand, and I just looked at my at this guy, and I'm like, Oh, there's my girl. She goes, What? I go, that's my girl. So I walk over and try to strike up a conversation with her, and she is very dismissive and saying, Um, like, leave me alone, essentially dismissive. And so uh come to find out her the guy that she was there with, I always joke that um not paying the three dollars for valet parking is what allowed my wife and I to meet because he was self-parking, he could have paid three bucks and a dollar tip at the time, back

The Night He Met His Wife

SPEAKER_00

in that time, and um she wouldn't have been alone at the hostess. So I'm talking to her, I'm talking to her, like oh, where where do you work? Like, who are you? Oh, I I work for an attorney. Oh, I know a lot of attorneys. Like, tell me the name, and I'm just getting whatever I can get out of that conversation. I've got two minutes, and eventually, finally, this guy comes in and you know, kind of you know, grabs her by the arm, essentially. You know, I know I mean that bad way, but and they go off into the signing room. I run to the phone booth back when it was thick with yellow pages. I'm looking up attorneys, I finally see this guy's name in the phone book. I rip it out, I fold it up, I put it in my pocket, and um a few days later I call and I'm trying to get her to take the call, and you know, the there's the gatekeeper at the law firm, and she's busy. That's because she tells them, like, no, I'm not talking to that guy. And I was persistent for a couple of weeks, and finally she took my call and I said, Look, just have lunch with her. One lunch, let's see where it goes. And that was the beginning of it all. Like we had one lunch and we were you know, we've been together for two darn near 40 years, right? So uh I was just persistent. Um, you know, we still joke about to this. He says I was stalking her, and I say no, I was not stalking you. I was I just saw this gal, and I went, That's my gal right there, and had to make it happen.

SPEAKER_01

Fantastic. That's awesome. I love it. I've interviewed 360 some odd dads, Dave, and I've had there's more stories of I recently interviewed a guy where he was on the beach and he walked by this woman, she's like, he's like, I'm gonna marry that lady. And he sure as shit he did. Yeah. Crazy. Why not?

SPEAKER_00

You know, in Mexico, they say, Porque no, why not?

SPEAKER_01

Like okay, and then your your two boys who you're very, very proud of. Talk about um what they are up to currently.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I've got two kids. It's funny when you say the wealthy boys, one's six foot two, fair skinned, kind of auburn-haired, super athletic, you know, played uh uh as a goalkeeper all the way up through the you know collegiate system. And then I've got a um 5'7, maybe 5'8, um, very dark-kinned, jet black hair, um, 23-year-old who's adopted from Guatemala. We brought Graham home when he was seven months to the day. And so Graham does not like sport like at all. Getting him to go to see his brother play one of you know any one of a thousand matches through Cam's uh soccer career was paying hoodie on, face down. But boy, when you're talking about live music, that's Graham's that's his that's his jam. And so what I get to do though, because I'm equal opportunity employer, I Graham and I have this really cool relationship that really got way better during COVID, oddly enough. That's another story. Um, I kind of became the math teacher during when during the lockdown, and I took over math and Graham. Our relationship flourished because Monday through Thursday, from 10 to 11 every day, the office knew they could not book me for an appointment unless it was mission critical. Graham knew that from 10 to 11 I was not dad, I was Mr. Wealthy, and I was gonna teach them the difference between real-world math and bullshit. And uh I said, you know, solving for X on the Y axis is bullshit math, but understanding how to uh calculate the square footage of the walls in your apartment because you're gonna paint it and be able to go to Home Depot and tell the guy, hey, I've got this many square feet, and you know, how much how many gallons of paint do I need? And every day would be, Dad, is this gonna be a real world day or a bullshit day? Well both, actually. But so I've got the two boys completely different with Graham. Um, he loves live music. So in the last 12 months, I'm gonna lose track of this. I was just in Las Vegas with Graham to see BTS. Yes, the K-pop band. Um, I've been to Lue Fe, who, if you don't know who Lue Fe is, you need to figure out who Lue Fe is because just a magical singer, 18,000 people at uh Climate Pledge here a few months ago. I've been to Lady Gaga, I've been to Dua Lipa, I've been to Katy Perry, I've been, you name it, I go. I've gone to Ed Sheeran Saturday night with him. He loves live music, and I love going to live music with him.

SPEAKER_02

So fun.

SPEAKER_00

It's like it's it's magical. I just sit there, sometimes I'm not even listening to the artist because I'm watching my kids stand there singing every word of every song. Just, you know, for a guy who's really shy, my kid, he gets up and he belts it. And he is in heaven. So um Graham's 23, um, going to Bellevue College and finishing up there and getting ready to do hopefully soon transfer to Western where he'll continue his education and kind of get out on the on his own. But uh yeah, that story's pretty deep. Um, maybe not this is not the the place for it, but uh you know, Graham's got coming as an adoptive kid, he's got a lot of issues that we've dealt with over the years, but super proud of him. He's gonna do really cool things in life. And um just when you wonder like what is the upside, or you know, is this guy gonna really actually be able to fly on his own? And you wonder, um, and then your beloved beloved dog passes away. Who he was so close to he wrote maybe the most beautiful tribute to a pet written by anybody I've ever read in my life. And I found it on social media and I went, This kid wrote way better. Like way better. You know, and then we had to take it, he had to take algebra and uh you know, he passed with an 80.5%, and he needed that grade to get to Western. And um he's like, Is

Two Sons With Different Wiring

SPEAKER_00

that really good? I'm like, let's go to Costco and ask the first hundred people we see in Costco if they can do half of the questions that you just did to get an 80 point on your phone. I go, one in 20. Really?

SPEAKER_02

Maybe lower.

SPEAKER_00

But uh so Graham's um, you know, an interesting character, love him dearly. Wouldn't want him to be anything other than who he is as a human being. Cam is um, you know, the kid who played sports, multiple sports, three sports, four sports, you had to peel them off the wall, you know. Get coaches to understand that he loved them all and he was gonna always be late to the next sport because he had to finish the one he was in. And he was a kid who loved baseball and was a very, as a dad, I would say, just a very good baseball player, but for his labor when he was 14 and he was a pitcher and he could really he was pretty damn good. Um, but like he said, he goes, Dad, it's a good thing I'm a good goalkeeper. Um, because now I'm gonna I'm gonna be a full-time soccer player going forward. And he did pretty nice. He um, you know, the state of Washington has what they call the EPD team, which is what they call elite player development. So all the kids from all the clubs try out once a year at like ages eight through I want to say 14, and they do all these tryouts all over the state, they whittle them down, they why them down, they whittle them down, and then they put together a team of 20 kids to represent the state of Washington in the Western region, which is eight teams, and Cam was the goalkeeper for the state three years in a row. So he was good, he was good, and then he played at SPU and realized after SPU was over two and a half years ago, he said, you know, Dad, I'm pretty damn good, but I'm not good enough to make any money doing this. Like and there's a difference, right? We all know those, you know, uh whoever it is, Andy Thomas, the number two guy at uh at the Sounders now. I watched him when he was at Stanford. He was different. You know, Bryce Logan was at the UW, Bryce Logan was uh all packballed at the time, but he wasn't Andy Thomas. Bryce Logan is not playing soccer anymore, Andy Thomas still there. So Cam came to me and he goes, Dad, I got this great degree from Seattle Pacific University, a degree in ecology. Um I'm not gonna use it. Okay, why? I'm gonna be a coach. Why? Dad, throughout my years of playing soccer from the ages of eight to twenty-four, I had some unbelievably cool coaches who did things the right way, and not always because of tactics, but the way they dealt with you, the way they mentored you, the way they kind of nurtured you. And he goes, And dad, you saw it. I had some really, really shady really bad. And he goes, And Dad, the the thing that's so disappointing about that is these men, and he had all men coaches, these men have a chance to change kids' lives. And most of them, I think, have lost sight of that. And he goes, So I am going to coach club soccer down in Ventura, California, and I'm gonna change the trajectory of kids' life. And so he's serious enough about it that down there you've got it's a um the community is a lot of farm workers, right? They grow a lot of crops down there, and so half the kids on his teams at any given time are Latino. Um of those kids out of the three teams, most of them parents are not fluent in English. And if one speaks a little bit of English, the other one doesn't. And so he's become I'm not gonna say fluent, but very conversational within Spanish. And he said, Dad, if these people are gonna trust me with their kids, I owe it to them to be able to communicate back without there you go, and he's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_02

That's super cool.

SPEAKER_00

Super cool. And he's been, I will just say this in two and a half years, he's been wildly successful. Go down there and build your brand. Because what does that mean? I go, you're gonna work for Surf. Surf Ventura, I think that's a club. You are gonna become Cam Wealty, the best youth soccer coach in the Santa Barbara Ventura North LA area. And you're gonna do that by building your brand. They're not gonna, when they think of Cam Wealthy, they're not gonna think of Surf, they're gonna think of Cam Wealthy. And I go, you watch players are gonna want to start playing for you. Parents are gonna come to you and say, I've heard about you, I'd like to have my kid try out for you. And sure enough, in year three, it's coming true.

SPEAKER_01

How much of that was like you like thinking about the word manifestation or the word believe, which is behind me, but most people can't see audio on the podcast. But I don't know if you did it on purpose or not, but you did a really good job of instilling belief, maybe when he didn't believe it himself.

SPEAKER_00

Um what's interesting because I think that was one of his downfalls when he got to the really most competitive side of um being a goalkeeper at SPU. He never fully believed in himself. And as a goalkeeper, you've got to believe you're gonna stop every single they are not put in one pass. And when they do, you're gonna look at him and go, You are lucky. And Cam never I don't think ever believed enough in himself to have that confidence every time he went out. And so I've always believed, you know, uh like you do, you gotta believe in yourself. And when he talked about coaching, he was so um, it was inspirational for me to listen to why he wanted to do it because he believed it. And it was funny because when he was at SPU those last couple of years, I got to know all the players because I traveled all the time. I was on every plane, I was uh I didn't miss matches. If I missed a match, it had to be something really weird for me not to run on an airplane to get out there and go. But all the players would always tell me they go, they called me the um the super fan. They go, they go, Mr. Welty, Cam's gonna be an awesome soccer coach one day. Like he gets the game, he understands the mentality of what it takes to win on a pitch from a mental perspective. Right. So in that area, Casey, he always has believed in himself. Like I didn't have to do much other than encourage, right? When he came to me and said, Hey, you know, you spent an enormous amount of money for education at SPU and Dad, I'm gonna go make, you know, the first year I'm gonna make 30 grand a year. Um, I said, right on. Right. And so yeah, I said, Cam, life is short. You don't get that yet, you will eventually, but life is really short. Do what

COVID, Math, And Showing Up

SPEAKER_00

you love to do. Well, do what you wake up every day going, I cannot wait to get to work.

SPEAKER_02

Yep. And that's what he believes. That's what he believes.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and all I can do and my wife can do is support that mentality. And he called oddly enough, he calls either Catherine and I, I would say six out of seven days a week. Not text, not you know, sending an email, like call. And it it's pretty cool. And he wants to talk about like what's going on in his life personally, professionally, get our feedback. It feels pretty dang good.

SPEAKER_01

Means mom and dad did a good job, man. I'm I'm a years, I'm a few years behind you. I have 20 and 18, but like my son is in entering his third year in college. Um, I got on this thing called Snapchat, which I never thought I'd ever do in my wildest dreams. Uh a guy I interviewed, he's like, dude, if you want to keep in touch with your kids in college, get on Snapchat. And I'm like, well, he'll he'll text me back. He's like, no, he won't. And uh I was like, what is this dude talking about? So I was like, I'll try it. And so now he and I have a 699-day streak on Snapchat where we say something, but like Ryder, my son, he he calls all the time still, and I love that, and I hope that that continues. Um and uh just because I think what you've done really you and Rod have done a good job of is helping your kids find out what they want to do, not making them do what you want them to do, which is I think a gap that a lot of parents I see make you get so wrapped up in the youth sport, so wrapped up in this or that, it's like it's not our job. Our job is to help unlock what they want to do and then freaking water the shit out of it and let it grow.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Support, support, support.

SPEAKER_01

Mm-hmm. Might not make sense to us at the time, but I mean, you know, maybe you're in a all live rock band we're gonna learn later, but you you have supported your son in life music and you're going to concerts because that's how you want to spend time. So he's like, my dad's a man going to all these concerts with me.

SPEAKER_00

Um and trust me, going to Katie Perry was painful.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know, but I think I I picture you in a tube talk, Dave, front row just going nuts. I think you're selling yourself shorts there.

SPEAKER_00

The best part about it is he realizes that some of this stuff is painful for me, but and he eats it up. Oh, sure. He thinks it's hilarious. Yeah, that uh was a BTS. That was kind of loud, huh? Yeah, yeah, Gram. It was like really like I can't hear myself for two days.

SPEAKER_01

So good.

SPEAKER_00

That was good.

SPEAKER_01

Well, bring me back to what was life like growing up for you, Dave. I'd love to learn more about the impact mom and dad had on you from a values perspective and talk about how you learned maybe those values through a story or two.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so my background, it's really funny because I married a woman who has five siblings. Her parents, when I met them, it was like going into a sitcom for like Leave It to Beaver, Gordon June Cleaver. Um, everything was it was like stepping back in time, really great, like the foundation of family. Mom didn't work, her dad was like a pay and save supervisor, worked six days a week, would come home at night, the kids would, you know, sit on his lap, and I didn't experience that growing up, and I'm so envious of that whole thing. My parents met in high school in Hayward, California, and they got married. Ready for this, Casey? They got married the day after my dad turned 16. Wow. My mom was pregnant. Um she was four months pregnant at the time, I think. I'd have to do the math, but she was pregnant. And they got married, and my mom was my mom had turned 16 in June. They got married on September 27th. So my mom was three months, 16 and 3 months, and my dad was 16 on a day. And uh, you know, so they neither one of them finished high school and um it created it was difficult, right? And they had three kids by the time they were 20. Three kids by the time they were 20, and you know, I never understood why my dad was always a and I now know because he was working three jobs, didn't have a college degree, wasn't a professional of any sort. He was doing he was a welder, he was a pipe fitter, he was I remember to this day, I was down at a memorial school. Service for one of my college coaches. It was very influential in my life. And I flew down to the Bay Area the day before I I just got out of the Amazon Sunday. I was there for the day before I went to the Amazon, I flew to the Bay Area to really to just kind of pay my respects to Tom Rosenthal because he was influential at a really important time in my life. But when I was down there, I ran into a family at the table, the Flores family. And I used to live at the Flores family's house because there were 12 kids, no dad. They lived down the street. They had converted their garage into like a wrestling room. They were a prolific wrestling family. That's what I did in college.

Childhood Poverty And Food Stamp Shame

SPEAKER_00

I wrestled in college. And um, but we were talking, and the one dude, Maxi, goes, Your dad was the welder, wasn't he? I'm like, Yeah, I go, Maxie, I go, to this day I can remember my dad feeling good because he got a job making three dollars and twenty-five cents an hour. And he just worked as rear Randolph. So my parents, you know, and they ended up getting divorced when I was 12. It was tough, right? We never had we never had enough. We were always struggling, and it created a lot of tension at my house. And uh we my dad moved in that would have been 72, 73, right in the middle of the big recession. So he packed up and they split up and he moved to Rock Springs, Wyoming, where he could work in one of the coal mines um trying to make some money. And I was with uh my brother and I um stay with my mom, and next thing I know, we're packing up one day, and I'm like, what's going on? Well, I didn't understand at the time, but we lost our house to the bank. So we're packing up. Next thing you know, we're we've gone from a I don't know, 1800 square foot split level home in a pretty nice neighborhood um to two-bedroom, two-bath condo that was really, I guess we call it section eight housing. And so, next thing you know, we're living in this little condo, and um one of the more interesting things that ever that happened to me that you know, you got these moments, right? This is a 14-year-old, I'm 65. So 41 years ago, I can remember this is just clear as day. We had we were on food stamps, and back then it wasn't a debit card because we didn't have debit cards back then for food stamps. You actually had a book with like a dollar in it, five dollar, ten dollar, and a twenty. Very much like going to Disneyland back in the day when you'd rip out the E ticket, the B ticket, the C ticket, and you know, the E ticket was the golden ticket at Disneyland because you got to go on the Matterhorn or Space Mountain. You know, the A ticket was like jumbo or something, right? You'd always trade a couple A's for a C or whatever. But um, I remember having to go to the grocery store with these doggone food stamps, and I was so embarrassed. So I would walk, I'd get what I needed, I'd walk the hall and I'd wait for the aisles and I'd wait for a check stand to be cleared so that I could get in there, give them my food, bring it up, I could pull out my book, I could rip out the fake money, give it to them, and I could hightail without any of my friends or friends' family seeing me using these things called food. It was I mean, to this day, it's kind of what drives me. It's one of those things I swe I swore that my kids would never ever experience that if I could help it in any way at all, right? And so luckily my mom was a you know, she was a wonderful woman. Um uh but it was tough, right? Again, married at 16, three kids at 19, divorced, you know, number of years. That's a lot, it was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_02

Are mom and dad still with us?

SPEAKER_00

Um, my dad is my dad's eighty-three, almost eighty-four, lives in the Prescott, Arizona area. Because his his wife, my stepmom, who's a wonderful woman. Um, they moved there because uh she's got multiple myeloma and she goes to the um Mayo Clinic. And then my dad is um we're complete opposites of people. Like he's a early mountain many looking dude, but he's uh I call him a Renaissance man because he's one of the more uh he's considered a very good tango. I took him down to South America 20 years ago fly fishing, and when we were in Buenos Aires one time, he goes, I want to go, uh I want to go watch this uh tango at what they call a malonge, malongay, it's the name of a that's how they call it dance. And he went in there and it's like a rectangular dance floor, and there's five rows of chairs. Front row, second row, and the fifth row people are the people that just don't have a cord. They stumble over their own feet. Front row dancers look across the room, make eye contact with the other front row dancers, they don't even say anything. They meet the dance floor, and they my dad says dancing with smoke, you know, or dancing, you know. He actually says he goes, it's doing something vertically that you wish you were doing horizontally. He is now considered a like in a in the United States, he's considered a front row dancer. Like he's a yeah, and I've actually ran into somebody who said, Hey man, I'm big into tango. I was at the um Santa Fe or the Albuquerque Tango Festival. I looked across, I see this dude and I'm like I know it is.

SPEAKER_02

He walked over and he goes, Would you be Mr.

SPEAKER_00

Welty? And he goes, Yeah, I would be. Like, who are you? He goes, I know your son, and he told me that his father tangoed, but I had no idea. You tango, sir. So my dad's still alive. Um, we have a pretty good relationship. You know, he's I'm I go easy on him. I now understand why he was such an absolute jerk at times. Any one of us might have been faced with that kind of adversity. And you know, three jobs, always working 80 hours a week, always struggling, never knowing, you know, do you have enough money to, you know, get a flat hire, right? And that's just kind of the way we lived and he lived. And then my mom, unfortunately, made some really poor decisions. And when I was 20, um, was involved with some really nefarious folks in the San Francisco area and paid the ultimate price. Uh, she was uh involved in narcotics and she was murdered, like literally, literally murdered. Like it was a big deal, front page of all the papers in San Francisco. And when I mentioned this guy, Tom Rosenthal, who's who I just went down to when my mom was killed, murdered, um, and again, it was a big, big deal in the Bay Area at the time. You know, Tom pulled me aside, he goes, Hey Dave, man, I am um I'm here for you. I'm not here to judge you, I'm not here to judge your mom. I'm here to support you and make sure that you get through this. And, you know, him and a couple of the other coaches at the college were I I'm grateful to this day because they allowed me, they got me, they go, you got to get out of town. And I really did. It was bad. And so um they helped me get a scholarship out to actually um Western State College in Grant in Gunnison. I got out to Grand Junction where I was waiting for school to start in Gunnison, and I heard how cold it was there that you couldn't use your shampoo if you left it in the window seal because it would freeze. And so I called the coach at Colorado Mason University and go, hey coach, my name's Dave Welty. I've wrestled at this college. Here's my college coach's, you know, contact information. You got room for a 177-pounder? And he goes, Absolutely. So, at any rate, that's how I ultimately ended up there. But um, yeah, my mom's deal was um it's you know, it obviously had a big impact on my

Divorce, Rock Springs, And Losing Mom

SPEAKER_00

life. Um, you know, it's one of those things where you always wish that you'd can see somebody one more time, could have said I love you one more time. Subsequently, my kids though are inundated with like I don't end a phone call without saying either one of them love you, dude. Never.

SPEAKER_02

Me neither.

SPEAKER_00

It doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_01

So random. Uh you're the only other person I've ever heard of say the word Rock Springs. My son's best friend just played junior hockey in Rock Springs.

SPEAKER_00

Oh.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's all I'm gonna say is, dude, I lived there my last year. I got out of high school early. I thought I needed to leave, I wasn't fitting in, you know, whatever. I had to make money because we had no money. I went to Rock Springs, Wyoming, and you can look this up, Casey, but in 1979, it was considered one of the three deadliest cities in the United States. There was a shootout when I was there between the FBI and undercover agents, they got sideways with each other. The the feds are shooting at the feds, and it was wild, man. It was a wild, wild west. Not sure what goes on there these days, but 1979, they I think it was um some publication said, if traveling through the great state of Wyoming, get gas in Green River or wait till you get to Letterme.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, have you have you ever been there?

SPEAKER_02

I have not.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_04

Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, CEO of Tier 4 Group, a women-owned and diversity certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the U.S. And Tier 4 Group relationships are at the heart of everything we do. Whether it's with uncommon partners or with each other, companies can go beyond translate partnerships. We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent. And that's what fully understanding of financial. It's not just about filling roles, it's about constant for the long term. And how does all painting or competition across the country? And I'm going to support people comfortable competitive. We were all important to have tensions that came out in our 2024 to the golf, and all of our new homes went in the book when the relationship not to be off when they talk here about this. So if you're looking for a partner who volumes relationships as much as results, listen to the terrorforegroup.com or connect with me, Monty Robinson, directly on LinkedIn. And while you're not, keep turning on the Casey's podcast. You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally. And as Casey always says, stay curious.

SPEAKER_01

Um so that's a lot, man. Um I can't even imagine. I mean, I I got married at 23. I can't even imagine getting married at 16. Um, I had kids at 30, but uh I can't even imagine your mom and dad going through that. And sorry to hear about your mom, it's crazy. Um I'm curious, like having younger parents who probably weren't the I mean, this is all due respect, probably the most mature, having kids that young, they weren't, they didn't, you know, they don't, you don't know, you don't know. But like from a values perspective, as you look back, like what what were some of the values that really you still think about, like whether you learned it through them or through others around and that really shaped you as a dad today?

SPEAKER_00

Um, you know, I think the biggest thing was like my dad wasn't present. And so sometimes it's like what shapes you isn't the positive that you got as a child, it's the thing that you missed the most. Right? And so like my dad, I'll bet you he saw me wrestle four matches, and I wrestled hundreds of. And oh my god, would I love my dad to have been on that, you know, in this in the stands, you know, yelling, chicken wing half Nelson, turn him, turn him, you know, blah, blah, blah. And he just wasn't there. Um, but I will tell you that what I got from my dad is my dad, when he says something, there's no pen and paper to sign to hold him obligated, to make him obligated to do something. His word is his mind. You know, he looks you in the eye and he says, I will be there, I will do that. Yes, we're gonna do this, that you can go to bed at night knowing that it is gonna happen. And so for my dad, I learned your word is everything, and without it, you have nothing. I also learned from my dad that when your kids need you the most, be present. Do whatever you've got to do to be present. Um that's what I got from my dad, from my mom. Um, this sounds kind of crazy, and I don't mean this to come across the wrong way. I learned to hustle because we had to hustle, like we just didn't have money. I remember I

Values Learned The Hard Way

SPEAKER_00

was walking with my wife just last night, and I saw some kid going door to door to sell something, right? He was trying to pitch something about you know killing bugs or something, and I'd forgotten all about it, Casey. But when I was like 15, I used to get in a van like three nights a week with the other kids, and we get dropped off in neighbors who would sell like uh newspaper subscriptions, magazine subscriptions, just trying to make a few bucks. And you know, to this day I kind of look back now and go, God, that's horrible shit. I should have been playing Little League, right? I should have been doing other things, right? That my friends were doing, but I wasn't. I was trying to, you know, hustle and make some money. And so my mom, you know, a lot of people go like, and you you know how to get after it. Like when you want something, you go make it happen. And I think I get that from my mom.

SPEAKER_01

Is it do you think it's because she taught you, or is it because that's all that you knew that's you had to survive?

SPEAKER_00

I I almost I mean, it sounds weird to say, but I almost felt like uh like we were gypsy like kind of thing, like where the kids had to go out and I was just down in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, on my way into the jungle, and the kids are like five and six-year-old kids are on the street corners trying to sell you a piece of candy, right? And the 12-year-old kids are trying to wash your windows. And I looked at that and went, that was kind of me. Not to that extent, to a lesser extent, but just trying to hustle and make extra money. Because I, if I wanted anything, I kind of had to have it, you know. Um with the exception of my dad's parents, who were probably two of the most loving people I've ever met in my life. Um, unfortunately, they both died pretty early. I thought they were really old. But when I look back at like the records, they were 61 and 62 or something, but they looked like they were in their late 70s or 80s. You know, at that time, you know, everybody smoked, everybody had high balls every night, you know, little bourbon and ginger ale. And um but uh no, so my mom's you know, kind of situation that we found ourselves in it caused us to we had a hustle. We were going to fully markets on the weekends and working and selling things and but what um raising kids.

SPEAKER_01

Obviously, you got you got one adopted child biological.

SPEAKER_02

What um what drove you and Kath in the decision to adopt?

SPEAKER_00

So Cameron is a petri dish kid, right? We couldn't get married. We were both um Kath was 37, I was 40, I think, or getting really close. And we practiced a lot, but it just never happened. It just didn't happen. So we went in and we did the in vitro thing, and on the first try, I mean first try, boom, we're pregnant, and we have camp. This is easy. Let's get in line. And she was working at Microsoft one time, we had great benefits, and we tried it the second time, no go. Tried it a third time, no go. And it was painful. I mean, I don't know what the what it looks like today for anybody going through it, but like I'm giving my wife shots in her rear end every night, you know, her rear end's bruised and fattered, and she's just like, just hook through that needle, and I'm like, oh and um so we said, you know what? Let's adopt. It's like let's adopt. So we tried to, we thought we would, and here's oh, this is one of these really weird things. So we got aligned with an agency down in Portland, Oregon. We had to go down there for like a seminar with eight other couples that were going to adopt, and they had you fill out a questionnaire. It was like some basic questions, why, how, have you tried before, blah,

IVF, Adoption, And Guatemala Realities

SPEAKER_00

blah, blah. And one of them was, have you ever miscarriage? And I immediately put no. She and she says yes two times because every time we implanted the eggs and it didn't get viewed that as a mission. And I'm thinking to myself, you insensitive fool. All this time, you know, you you missed it. And to this day I sit back and go, it's just I I didn't connect the two, right? So we found out that we had to put together a book to give, because we wanted an open it up. We had to put together a book that talked about the house and what our finances look like and the playground at the park nearby. And you had to pitch it to parents. And I looked at my wife and she looked at me, and we both kind of at the same time went, This is nonsense. This is crazy. There's a hundred people in line for every perfect little white kid born in America. And we said, you know what? Let's do something different. And at the time there was an attorney that she worked with at Microsoft who had adopted two kids from Guatemala. And uh we said, you know what? We're gonna go get a kid out of that neighborhood. You know, we're gonna give that a kid a a new lease online and um thank God we did. And it's funny, they asked me and Catherine, they go, Do you guys care if it's a boy or a girl? Oh gosh, no. Like, what do you care about? I just want a healthy baby. Anything else? Yeah, I'm probably not equipped to deal with the special needs yet. What do we get? We get Graham Anthony Cabrera Welty, who is you know, has had a whole host of issues his whole life. We've helped him work through and deal with and become this really amazing, loving young man. But there were some times along the journey with him, it was like, what in the heck have we done?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

At the time we went down there, we went down there three times between birth and seven months when we took him home. And there were 10 murders a day in Guatemala City at that time. I mean, barbed wire everywhere where we stayed, there's razor wire across the roof. Um, there's every time you go to a 7-Eleven, there's two guys with the shotguns, you know, guarding the store. Um, I have clients who uh used to live in Guatemala City, and she gave me a map of here's the five blocks you can walk around in. You know, if not, you better make sure somebody gives you a 45 if you're gonna go outside those areas. And um, but uh yeah, I don't know how I got on that tangent, but um so Graham is uh Graham's a special.

SPEAKER_01

Do you get have you been down to like meet his biological family at all?

SPEAKER_00

We never knew who the dad was. We did do a we paid for a search to find his mom. Um and we think we found her. We and this was years ago, this is 15 years ago. We said, Graham, we found your your birth mom. Do you do you want to see a picture of her? Nope. My son Graham and his mom are like I have never seen a son and a mom so tight like this. And that's where COVID helped me because it allowed me to get in on that, right? Because I was this outsider, I was the sports dad, I was the you know, the quarterback dad, whatever you want to call him, right? I was at every sporting event, I coached Little League, I umpired, I did all those things which had nothing to do with Graham. COVID allowed me to come in and find my place in Graham.

SPEAKER_02

I'm grateful. Yeah, me too. 100%.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, but I I really think that had we not got Graham out of there, um, Graham wouldn't be allowed. No, I mean special special needs. Um, you know, cognitively he's got some issues. We we made huge changes. And again, algebra on his own. Me coaching, you know, like with homework. You know, he goes, and here's where I felt like I hit a home run because I'm an unbelievably good test. I'm not the greatest studier, but you know, I'm a really good test because I understand how to study for a test and do a test. And he had like six sections in algebra and he had to pass in order to take the next step to go to Western. And he goes, Dad, I'm doing I did really good in four of these sections. How about if you and I focus on these other two sections and we'd spend time and I go, Okay, we're done. You wanted to spend this mic, Dad. Do you have time for 10 more? Yeah, I'm I'm really on a roll with these ones, and I'm I think this is what's gonna allow me to pass so yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Well, the a big lesson right there for dads is when your kid when your kid said you got time for one more, say yes.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

Like say yes, and you know what?

SPEAKER_00

It it wasn't even when I was proud of him for understanding how to take this test, I was proud of him for having the desire to want to be better. Like for a kid who struggled academically to say, Dad, I'm gonna and he's got an IEP, he didn't use it. Like he said, no, I don't need that, I can do this. And he did it.

SPEAKER_01

Love it. What's been the hardest hardest part for you as a dad that might um that might surprise people that know you, or maybe a dad that doesn't know you that we can maybe help them learn from your journey as a father?

SPEAKER_00

Um, I think I was the classic dad in Little League that got too emotionally involved. And I got I I honestly, man, I got caught up in some of the nonsensical bullshit. Little league, and you know, kids being able, I was on the board at Bamberge Island and this big push to kids wanted to go from single A to AAA, and I, you know, you get all this pressure, and you get, you know, you you end up, you see friendships lost, you see people yelling at their kids from the I was never the yeller from the sideline, but I wish I could go on a time, I want a tour and talk to little league parents about what their kids really need and what they don't need. I remember so Cam was playing, we just moved over from Bainbridge Island and he made this uh soccer team um out of uh oh up the road off I-90. Yeah, out of Preston, right? So really good club. Hi-and called RC, the RCL. We had no idea he'd play in club before, and now he's going to RCL and he makes their number one team. You know, he comes out of nowhere and he this huge tryout, and you know, they call us up and they go, hey man, your kid just collected for the red team. Like, no way. Like, what does that mean? Well, that means you're gonna pay 2,500 bucks a year for him to play and all this other stuff, but like he's at the at the top. Well, I remember one day we were down at the Arch Rival, which is down in Puala, um Washington premiere. Cam is in goal, and I'm yelling, come off your line, come off your line, blah blah blah, do this, do that. After the match, he walked over and he goes, Dad, don't be that dad. I go, What dad is that? He goes, Dad, I've got a really good coach. Dad, you yelling at me during the match, you even if it's stay warm, stay loose, do this, do that. He goes, Dad, that's not as a 14-year-old, he said, Dad, that's

Youth Sports Pressure And The Sideline Lesson

SPEAKER_00

not that's not your job. Dad, don't be that dad. There's a lot of them on our team already. Don't be one of them. From that time on, like, woo-hoo, go, go, go. We had a little thing like when he was playing in college. If I wanted to yell something, I wanted him to hear, like, just good job. His favorite goalkeeper was um um, I think it's Mark Pope, played at Newcastle here this last year, and he loved Pope. And I'd go, way to go, Pope, great save. But everything was always positive. I never uttered a negative word after that conversation with my son and Q Allop as we walked with Dad, don't ever be that bad. You don't want to be that bad.

SPEAKER_02

Why do you think your son had the confidence to call you out?

SPEAKER_00

Because we have we've always had like really cool open relationships. Like just really like when I coached him in Little League, it was, you know, I treated him like everybody else. Um, you know, I was open with him, I was honest with him. If I didn't like what he was doing, I'd tell him just like anybody else. And um, but no, and I was I think that's maybe one of the more proud moments I've got as a father, is knowing that I'd done a good enough job with my kid that is a 14-year-old, he could look at me on the eye, just say, Dad, don't be that crazy.

SPEAKER_02

You don't want to be crazy. And we had some dads on our sideline, Casey, that it was embarrassing. Sure. Literally embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00

And I never was that guy after that.

SPEAKER_01

How so I I think you're that's an uncommon skill you have because most dads, I'm gonna generalize here, their ego would have said, Hey, I can do whatever the F I want. I'm your dad. Suck it. Yeah, how did how did you keep your ego checked that maybe we can help a younger dad at home?

SPEAKER_00

Um listen to your kid. I mean, if you've done a good enough job raising them, I mean, and you believe in them, listen to them.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, just listen to them.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and that was the greatest thing for me is I just listened to Cam. And it literally changed my demeanor on the sidelines. And I've been all over you know the U.S. with that kid playing. So got to the point where I realized that there was actually three teams on the pitch at any time. The home team that you played for, the team that was your adversary that day, and then the two goalkeepers. And the goalkeepers were another team. Like every time another goalkeeper made a great save, even if it's for against us, great job keeper. Like I had parents going, that was for the other team. Oh, I know, but that kid just did something amazing. And um, you know, I I I don't know. Do you know any do you know many other people whose kids were goalkeepers at a high level? No, so I always joke that when you look at the IRS life expectancy tables, there's men, which right now it's like call it 79 or 80. Women are about 82, goalkeeper parents about 74.

SPEAKER_01

Well, the only thing I can relate is I Uncle Rico moment coming here, everybody from Nilpoin Dynama. I put quarterback in college, and so I think my parents, my dad passed away on 14, 2021. But I mean, as a similar probably thing when you're when your kid screws up at quarterback or goalie, everybody knows it.

SPEAKER_00

Everybody knows. Oh God, it was times you felt like but you're there to support, man. You walk away, you put your arm around your kid, and go, hey, dude, there's another day, man. Yeah, and the good news is there's a warm bed waiting for you and hot food.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. My son, my son plays golf in college, and it's kind of that's also similar. Like when you hook one out of bounds or you miss a two-footer, it can be nerve-wracking, embarrassing. And I just tell him, I said, dude, I do I want you to play well, yes. But whether you shoot 68 or 80, I don't care. I mean, I care, but I don't care because the sun's gonna come up tomorrow and I'll love you more tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly, man. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

I know. And um, if you were to think back, like if if you met, you know, somebody off the street and they said, Man, how if you would describe the the wealthy boys, like tell me like what would be three words you'd hope they say about your kids?

SPEAKER_00

Unbelievably loving. Um unbelievably committed. When I say committed, I mean not just to themselves, but to their friends, their family. Cameron just flew up from Ventura for five days before I went to the Amazon. Was it to see me and mom and Graham? Yeah, it was really to see his grandma. Like he's like, Dad, I gotta see Nama. He's 92, and they have this really tight relationship. So I'd say loving, I'd say super committed to their friends, their family, their community, and I'd say fun. Like my kids have been all over the world. I I I can't believe what my kids have been able to do and talk about it's funny. Like, we'll take hey Graham, which Italy trip was that? And he's got it one of these, like because he's on the spectrum, but very, very, very hot. Oh, Dad, that was our 2007 trip to uh to Tuscany. Remember, we did that one in August. It was really hot. I think it was like, you know, and we we did that celebration on August 21st of that year. You're like, what the hell? It's the funniest. It's the funniest thing. But my kids are loving, they're super committed to their families, to each other. Um and what you see is what you get. They're really honest kids, man.

SPEAKER_01

Love it. What would be one besides the uh the sports? Is there one do-over you wish you could have as a dad?

SPEAKER_00

Um I wish I would have held Cam's feet to the fire a little bit more in junior high and high school, like you know, kind of instilled a few more um administrative skills, if you would, right? Um, because those habits are developed early. And so here's what's really funny. So Cam, I always joke with people because I've got a degree in geology, even though I run a you know, like you said, a wealth management firm. I've got a degree in geology. I think I had a 2.8 GPA, and I joke with people, C's get degrees, maybe it's what you it's what you do, it's what you do with that experience, right? And Cam will Cam ended up with about a 2.8 GPA. Um, he will tell you if you ask Cam Walty, what's the single most important thing you learned in college? He'll tell you effective communication solves most of the world's problems. And it wasn't until he got in

Belief, Communication, And Letting Kids Lead

SPEAKER_00

college that I was able to get him to understand that he was struggling at SPU. I said, Cam, have you gone to your like, I don't know, anthropology professor and said, Hey, look, I'm I'm having a tough time. I'm studying, but I'm I'm not doing well on these tests. I'm gonna be academically ineligible. Like, I need some help. He goes, No, I go, Cam, hang up the phone, walk across campus, go knock on that dude's door, that gal's door, and say, Look, you probably don't know me, sir, ma'am. I'm Cam Wealthy. I need to pass this test this class. I need some help. And from that point forward, his grades went like this. Because whenever he got in trouble, he went and communicated, and he will tell you that good communication sells most of the world's it's that's true, it really is, and it's a great skill set, man. It's a great skill set.

SPEAKER_01

Could not agree with you more. I mean, I couldn't tell you when the war of 1812 was. Um, I couldn't, you know.

SPEAKER_00

It was 1812.

SPEAKER_01

I mean that tongue in cheek, but like I I think if there was an EQ SAT, I think I would have absolutely destroyed it in a positive way. And I and I barely passed the SAP because I couldn't, I could give two shits. It just I was like got bored and like, no, shame on me, shame on whatever, but that wasn't me. And I, you know, I I give my kids grace. Like, I'm not gonna try to force them. Not my my daughter was 4.0 high school, never wanted to do the AP. I'm like, I don't, that's fine. Don't don't I'd rather you be a 4.0 with amazing social skills than a 4.0 that you go to you know 86 AP exams and you're so stressed out, you drop out of college. You know, I mean how does how well let's as we get ready to wrap up here, how does um how does one use his geology skills to say, you know what, I'm gonna go ahead and start a wealth manager firm and keep it in business for almost 30 years.

SPEAKER_00

I was always good in math. It was my, you know, and we all have different things, right? That you're just in inherently good at. Math was always super easy. So when I went to Colorado Mesa, I was gonna engineering. I'm gonna go get an engineering degree. I didn't know what engineering meant. I just knew it was so I showed up at this campus, and outside the science hall where the engineering students were, the chem students were, biology, whatever it may be, there was this group of like eight guys and gals with rucksac, tool belt, hammer, and who are these kids? Oh, those are upper-level geology students. They're gonna go map the Grand Mesa, which is this big flat top mountain out of Grand Junction, Colorado, and they're gonna go hang out up there. And I'm like, wait a minute, they work, they their education is in this hall? What is that curriculum like? Physics, chemistry, calculus, but then you get into things like uh geotech plate plate tectonics and you know paleontology and things like that. And I'm like, so in other words, I get a math degree, but I get to be outside. Yeah, Mike, sign me up. So I did that, and then um a guy that I knew back in the day said, uh, oh, I got a job at Abbott Laboratories because of that, selling high-end clinical chemistry analyzers um out of college, and it was that math background, and then just good sales skills, again, the hustle hustle skills, if you wrote, and I got this great job, and then he said, Dave, he goes, What's the upward trajectory of that? And I go, Well, you know, I have to go in-house to Abbott Park do three years there, I gotta come back out as a district manager, then I go back into Abbott Park to be an RM. And he goes, What's the upside financially? And I go, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, Dave, you need to be in the advisory business. And at the time, I thought this guy was an upstanding good guy in the advisory business. This was 95. Yeah, 95. Turns out he was just a shy shy. But he got me to get into the industry. Um, we ended up splitting up in 2000. Um, really ugly divorce. Learned a lot about, you know, splitting up with people and getting sued for non-critiques and that. Um, but yeah, it was it was really because of the math skills, you know, and then Abbott had one of the best sales training programs I've

Building A Wealth Advisory Business

SPEAKER_00

ever seen. Six weeks back in Abbott Park. Role playing, role playing, role playing, you know, adversity role playing, more role playing. And I am, I am, I am just immensely grateful for my couple years at Abbott.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the power of practice, man. It's a I see in a lot of the work I do and working with sales leadership teams. People get these corporate jobs and they wing it and they expect it to be perfect, and it blows my mind. Well, use AI. I'm like, can you use AI when you're talking to somebody live? Hold on, we ask AI what I should say. No, you gotta do the work. So I I love that people hearing these stories, and because practice, something I talk to my kids about often. Um AI is a great tool, everybody, but it's not gonna solve your ability to communicate people.

SPEAKER_00

Nope, not at all, man. Not at all.

SPEAKER_01

So tell us about if people have never heard of your firm, tell us about kind of what what you guys do, how can people learn more about them? How can we make it easy to find?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Um happy to. So Avior was started in January, like January 20th of 2000. For many, many years, we catered to what I called Grey Collar America. So people at the phone companies, whether it's Pacific Bell or US West, or any of the number of the, you know, the baby bells as they broke up. And um yeah, blue collar, gray collar folk. And then about 10 years ago, I say 10 because I think it was eight, but you know, time flies. I get a knock on my door. And the name of the firm at the time was called Retirement Asset Management. And um, this lady walks in, she goes, I'm looking for Dave Waldy, but I think I'm in the wrong building. Can you point me in the right place? I'm like, I'm Dave Walty. What do you what do you mean? She goes, Well, I work at Microsoft and I'm not retiring. Um, but I need help with my benefits and whatnot. And I went, Oh, I'm Dave Walty. And so we helped her. She's still a client today, you know. And um she uh she walked out and I went, What in the living hell are we doing? Out of every breakfast window, on my I'm on the fifth floor at 10655 Northeast Four. So the old um they used to have a restaurant up top there, but I'm the last of the old buildings on Northeast Four. So I'm surrounded by Expedia and any rate. I looked out in every building, it was Microsoft, Broadcom, Amazon was coming in. I looked at my young partners like, oh you guys, we're missing the boat here. We need to be a tech focus advisory. And we immediately started making um educational YouTube videos, like you know, how to best leverage your 401k at Microsoft, how to leverage the Microsoft for Comp. And we built this YouTube channel. And as people would search, like, hey, I'm a new at Microsoft, Microsoft 401k, we got top of that. Microsoft for comp. We still are like the number one in the world if you Google Microsoft Comp. Fidelity sometimes is ahead of us because they administer the um but um so we're a we manage about 1.3 billion, I think, 1.3 billion, 23 people really young. I think the median age is 38. 17 of them have certified financial planning certifications. Highly, highly credentialed group of rock stars. Um, and the thing I'm probably most proud of, Casey, because my industry, as you know, is dominated by people that look like me, sixty-five-year-old white dudes. I have I have a team of people that we have more women than we have men, we are as diverse as anybody you've ever seen in this country as an advisory firm, and that happened by intention. I told the team about six years ago, I said, when you walk out on a July summer day for lunch, you look at a hundred people on Northeast Fourth jumping down to go to Jimmy John's or Thai food or whatever, we're gonna look like that collective group of 100 people. We are gonna represent our community.

SPEAKER_02

Every single person from a technical firm that says, I need help, they should be able to go to our website and say, I see myself, right?

SPEAKER_00

I see myself and to this day, we just did a um client event, and this woman who came to us um African-American woman, she pulled me aside and she goes, Dave, I just want to say thank you. For creating an environment where I felt wrong.

SPEAKER_02

And I was like, Man, I have hit the freaking home run.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, it's important, man. It's important by privileged white guys like you and I, who I when I was when I was uh right in the heart of social unrest, Black Lives Matter, I used to be one of these white people that would when I hear the word privilege, I'd be like, What are you talking about? I work my ass off.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And my friend Dale Favors, who is a dear friend, I've never I've actually met him once, we played golf, but I consider him my like diversity mentor and someone I look up to. And he he had the patience to really help me grow in 2020. And um, this is a year one of the podcast. I literally interviewed him. What's it like to be a dad of color during Black Lives Matter? Someone from White Dude, we did a live. I invited my kids, my my wife, my my coaches. He inspired me to talk, interview every single teammate, college teammate of mine at Central of Color, and read the brothers, Samoans, Hawaiians, anybody I could think of that I wasn't curious enough to understand their background, where they came from, and I just apologize to them. And they're like, What are you talking about, Jackson? You're like, You're a board. I'm like, I know, but I wasn't curious enough. I we were teammates, but I didn't know you, and that's shame on me. And so I just I love I think that that gave me goosebumps you're saying that, man, because I think it's important for a lot of us. Um, you know, you look at look at your son, Graham. I mean, he he moved into a privileged spot, but he could have been not not, you know, and still he is.

SPEAKER_00

Anyone that wants to say we all have the same opportunities, I say bull. Yeah, that is so untrue. Yeah, it is so untrue. Yeah, some people start the 100-yard dash 10 yards behind, some get to start the 100 yard dash 10 yards in front. Same finish line, yeah, but everybody's got a different place where they have to start. And some have to run harder, they have to work harder, they have to elbow their way past the competition, right?

Diversity, Privilege, And Real Opportunity Gaps

SPEAKER_00

Some of us just get to run the 100 yards.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. Um, how can we make it easy for people to find you? Where so you're on YouTube, where else can we find you?

SPEAKER_00

Um, favoradvisors.com.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I will make sure it's linked in the show notes.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, Dave, if you were to summarize everything we talked about in three, maybe two or three actionable words or themes that dads can take from our conversation. Dave, they learned a lot about you. But what can they do to take from our conversation and be that better ultimate quarterback or leader of their home? Tell me what comes to mind.

SPEAKER_00

I just always tell people take a deep breath, right? Just sit back, be a spectator, be a supporter. Your kids are gonna have great days. I don't care if you have a daughter playing volleyball, he's gonna be great one day and she's gonna suck the next. Just be there for them, right?

unknown

Support.

SPEAKER_00

Support support and support the teammates. I mean Cam's teammates today still call and reach out to me because they knew I was there to support. I got a kid who's um Musa Ali. This is a I gotta finish with this great story. Cam when he was in the club played against his arch rival, Seattle United. Um, you know, when he was at uh any one of the crossfire too, because he played there. And this kid was a striker, Musa Ali and Cam was a goalkeeper, they hated each other. I mean did not like each other. They ended up at high school, Cam was at Eastside Catholic, and Musa Ali was at I think Franklin or something. When they played, the referee had pulled the two of them out of the locker room at halftime and dressed them down in the middle of the pitch at halftime. Like this nonsense is gonna end now. They were at each other, their album, you know, it was nasty. Cam gets a chance to transfer to SPU, Musa Ali goes to Mark Collins, the coach goes, Coach, don't sign that kid don't sign him. I'm telling you right now. Cam Welty and Musa Ali. Musa just reached out to me as a reference. He's done it this is the second time. He's now a uh police officer. But he's up for another award, a community award. He's like, you know, Mr. Weltie, would you be able to you know write some words about me and your experiences you've had with me? Um just to I've got that relationship, right? Why? Because I wasn't the loudmouth dad, I was the supportive dad. And I supported every one of those young men when they would come off the pitch good days and bad days. I had always put my arm around, I always invited them here, I'd invite take them out to dinner. Um and now my kids got relationships for life, and it's really weird to so long with some young young men that I still get to have an impact in their lives today.

SPEAKER_01

Love it, man. That's great. Well, we always end with what I call the lightning room. Dave, this is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits. It's your job to answer these questions as quickly as you can, and my job to try to get a giggle out of you. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_00

I think so.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, that doesn't count. Okay. True or false. After Colorado Mesa, you used to wrestle WWF against Hulk Hogan.

SPEAKER_00

That would be a negatory.

SPEAKER_01

That's false, okay. Uh true or false, you were recently in the Amazon on a wrestling uh road trip. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That would be a false.

SPEAKER_01

That's false, okay. Tell me your favorite comedy movie of all time.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I just always go back to the movie Caddyshack because I can watch a hundred times and I can laugh at the same stupid joke a hundred times.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, I could I could do that forever.

SPEAKER_02

Take drugs, Danny. Every day. Good, good. Um favorite book you've read.

SPEAKER_00

I think the book that I go to back to the most is Outliers.

SPEAKER_01

Great book, Malcolm Gladwell.

SPEAKER_00

Uh I to this day I still reference it with people on my team. 10,000 hour rule.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You gotta be committed. And I said, if you don't believe me, read that book.

SPEAKER_01

Mm-hmm. Love it. What would be one genre of music that might surprise

The Big Takeaway: Support Over Control

SPEAKER_01

your colleagues that you listen to?

SPEAKER_00

So I've got three bucket list items in my life right now because I've accomplished a lot. One is to become a very, very good fly fisherman, and I'm considered like if you're a golfer, you know, if you're a good golfer, you got a handicapped three or four, something like that, and you're considered really, really good. I'd have a if they had that in fly fishing, I'd have a three or four handicap. I'm pretty damn good. I want to learn to speak Spanish better, I'm okay, but I want to get way better. And I want to play the ukulele, and I've been trying for three years, and I still suck, but I'm not giving up. And so I would say island ukulele music from Hawaiian.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

That's it.

SPEAKER_01

If I came to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?

SPEAKER_00

Tonight? What we're what we're gonna eat, or what I would make for you if you were killed.

SPEAKER_01

What would you make for me?

SPEAKER_00

I would probably make you an unbelievably delicious piece of grilled sockeye salmon, some rice, nice veggie, and maybe a little bit of a chilled rose wine.

SPEAKER_01

Hmm. Good. Um, it is almost dinner time here, and I'm getting hungry about that one. Um, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.

SPEAKER_00

Overcoming adversity.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Now, Dave, overcoming adversity, believe it or not, Amazon it's sold out. Barnes Noble sold out, every airport sold out. So Netflix is gonna make a movie. You're the casting director, and I need to know who's gonna star Dave Wealthy in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.

SPEAKER_00

I'd like to say Brad Pitt, but we just don't look alike. Um what's the dude's name? Oh god, I don't I'm not big on movie act, and it wouldn't be Roddy Dangerfield. Um I'd love to be like the old the old days of Bruce Willis when he was healthy and happy and the guy, you know, back from the moonlighting days.

SPEAKER_01

Bruce Willis, solid choice. Okay, and then last and most important question tell me two words that would describe your wife.

SPEAKER_00

Loving and loyal.

SPEAKER_01

Boom. Glad your hand's complete. Uh, thanks for going along, my man. This has been awesome.

Lightning Round And Closing

SPEAKER_01

You're a hell of a storyteller. It's it's no surprise what you've had, uh, the success you've had. Um I stories are insane. I would I mean I could have interviewed you for seven hours unpacking some of that stuff. Um, but I think one of the biggest things that I loved out of this episode, everyone at home, mom, dads, is take a breath, man. Take a frickin' breath and just love and support your kids. This is proof it works. We got a 26 and a 23-year-old that still love mom and dad. They call mom and dad, and and what mom and dad does not want that. So um, shout out to you and Catherine for raising two great kids, um, setting a great example for us. Um, and uh just grateful for you, man. I'm grateful for our time and grateful the universe brought us together and um wish you the best and uh grateful again for having a chance to learn more about you today.

SPEAKER_00

Dude, I really appreciate you having me on. I really can.

SPEAKER_01

Cool. All right, we'll talk to you down.

SPEAKER_00

Because here's the thing, Casey. If my word can impact one dad or one mom, this was worth everything and more.

SPEAKER_01

Why do it?

SPEAKER_00

Just one.

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

That's all.

SPEAKER_01

Just one. Why do it and selfish Jaguar Therapy out of every episode too? Don't tell anybody.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, anytime you want to chat, man, you know, my line's open. I love to talk with you.

SPEAKER_01

Cool. All right, buddy. Talk soon. Well, thank you again, everybody, for listening to this week's episode. And a huge favor now, if you and have enjoyed this podcast, please, wherever you just listen to it, go on to the your phone, the computer, and click on reviews and leave us a review, leave us a rating, hopefully five stars if you if you like it a lot, which will help us be easily to be found by new listeners that are going to be wanting to learn more about the quarterback dad cast, learn about ways they can become an ultimate quarterback or leader of their household. And even better yet, if this episode touched you, please share it with a friend. Uh, find another episode that you like, share that episode with a friend. We're going to continue to keep growing this thing in quest to get to a thousand dads. So I appreciate you uh continuing to listen each and every week. And thank you again for all your support and wish you uh a great rest of your day. And we can't wait to see you next week. See everybody.