We Should Talk About That is going on a break for a couple of weeks for a little refresh and re-tooling. But before I go, I want to take a minute to honor a man who has meant so very much to me, my father in law, Vernard Charles Kidwell, Jr. Vern passed away February 4th, 2024 at the ripe age of 98 and I am just back from a weekend of honoring him and his incredible life.
A WWII veteran and celebrated jazz trumpet player, Vern lived many chapters and I wanted to do my small part in honoring and remembering him by documenting his memory in my little podcast, or as he would always refer to it, my "television show". I sure did love this man and I invite you to spend 15 minutes with me to honor him as well.
I'm going to do something a little bit different today. We should talk about that is going. To go on a little break for a couple weeks because life has gotten. Complicated and I also think I need to retool the show a little bit. But don't worry, I will be back at the beginning of March with brand new episodes. But before I go, there is something. I think we should talk about at elderly men seem to be headlighting the news, but I don't want to talk about the ones everyone else is talking about. I want to talk about one very special elderly man who I have spent the weekend honoring. Vernard Charles Kidwell, Jr. My father in law. Born on October 20, 1925, Vern passed away Monday, February 5, 2024 at, St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Edgewood, Kentucky. At the ripe age of 98, he died comfortably surrounded by family. Vern lived a long, full life with multiple chapters. He was the only child of Bernard Charles Kidwell, Sr. And Anna Glacking Kidwell, the doctor who delivered him way back in 1925, arrived to the house in a horse drawn buggy. Vern went on to serve honorably in World War II, landing on the beaches of southern France with the 36th Infantry Division, 141st Infantry Regiment, and fighting through the end of the war. He was wounded in battle and was awarded the Bronze Star for valor. After he recovered from his injuries, Vern became a member of the army band where he would perform echo taps for General Eisenhower. At the first Memorial Day after VE Day at Henri Chappelle Cemetery in Belgium. He would proudly tell me that he was told it was one of the best renditions that Eisenhower had ever heard. He married at the conclusion of the war and fathered four children, Robin, Bruce, Rhonda, and Renee, and during this time m he was a semi professional jazz trumpet player. A second marriage brought two further children, Robert and Jennifer, along with three stepsons for whom he was proud to be a father of John, Steve, and Dan. He built a successful independent insurance business that he would have until he retired. Vern eventually found lasting happiness with his wife and soulmate of 29 years, Mary Lou. Vern dearly loved Mary Lou's three adult children, Pam, Rob, and Joe, along with their wonderful spouses and children. And over his 98 years, Vern was blessed with eleven grandchildren and seven great grandchildren. I've been blessed for the last 20 years having him as my father in law. I met Vern 24 years ago when he was a spry 74 year old. I remember mostly thinking, wow, my boyfriend's father is old. Vern turned 50 when Rob was born. That's totally normal now. But in 1974, being the old dad, not so typical. My left leaning, feminist, 24 year old self was quite the contrast to what I considered Vern's old fashioned catholic conservative views. And through the years, I think we both enjoyed sparring with each other, sometimes leaving a verbal match with each of us, maybe rolling our eyes at the unwavering views of the other, but also never without a hug and a sincere smile at the end. Vern would often tease me for being a, quote, typical woman. And he had a real penchant for calling me doll. And I would have an internal struggle wondering if I was failing womankind or my daughter for not successfully convincing him that either of those things were not exactly appropriate to say anymore. But, lord, how I love this man. And don't get me wrong, he was tough. Sometimes. He was so incredibly stubborn and so incredibly certain of his rightness. I would feel so frustrated that all I could do would be to storm off and eventually explode at Rob. Oh, my God, your dad is just so frustrating. But it never lasted long. And Lord knows I know I frustrated him. He was fascinating and smart and curious. This is a man who fought in World War II. He was lost in the Vosges Mountains in October 1944. There's freaking books and movies about that experience. And of course, it should come as no surprise that I would mine that time of his life to see if we could talk about his feelings and I could really get into what it all meant to him. And, like most of his generation, there wasn't much he had to say about it, other than he was cold and he got trench foot, which bothered him till the day he died. Dare I say, typical man. The sheer volume of societal and technological change this man witnessed is staggering. As it was noted earlier, the doctor who delivered him came on a horse drawn buggy, for God's sake. That is a whole lot of change in one lifetime to process. Our society currently gets riled up when our ios software updates and the icons on our phones move. He read the paper front to back every single day until his macular degeneration took that away from him. He was very informed and loved information and took a lot of pride in that. And even when he thought he knew best, he never cut anyone off from. Their own point of view. Vern may have left the conversation still thinking that person was wrong or an idiot, but that person left the conversation knowing that they were genuinely heard. And I can't end this testament to Vern without talking about his heart. Although father time ultimately won the battle and caused his heart to fail, Vern spent 98 years with a heart that loved big. Once you were in, you were in. I got to feel it firsthand, and so did both of my kids. But there are two people in particular that I got to witness the endless shine of Verne's love. His wife, Mary Lou, and his son, my husband, Rob. Mary was his third wife. And talk about third time being a charm. That sure was the case for those two cuties. Dating in your late 60s was not what Vern had planned, but there he was, and he quickly found a keeper in Mary Lou. The two lived such a busy life. They loved to dance and see shows, and, they traveled the world. She embraced Verne's family as her own, thank God, and he did the same for her. They were a perfect match. She is a bundle of energy with an endless willingness to deal with his stubborn ways. And he was a source of steady love that kept her feeling safe and supported more than she had ever felt before. They met too late, or they met, at exactly the right time. Either way, 29 years wasn't enough for that kind of love. But wouldn't we all be lucky to have that amount of love, even by half? And for Rob, this is the love that gets me choked up. Vern absolutely loved Rob, and, bursted with pride for every single thing Rob has done in his life. There was such a deep respect between these two men. I have never experienced anything like it. Everything Rob has done, I think he credits Vern for. And as far as Vern was concerned, Rob was solely responsible for every single one of his accomplishments. He just got to stand beside him and watch greatness unfold. They were a team. Just two guys eating pasta and sauce and working hard to get by. I love Rob for a million reasons. He's a fantastic father, a, loving and supportive partner. He's the friend you call when you need anything, from how to fix an appliance or a leak or a car to how to manage heavy stuff like depression or grief or loss. He gives incredible hugs, and he has a smile on his face 99% of the time. His work ethic is absolutely unmatched. And he's incredibly wise and responsible with money and finances, and he has the biggest heart. I've come to know that every single one of those reasons to love Rob, plus countless others, is because Vern Kidwell was his dad. My kids, me, all of us, we have Vern to thank for molding Rob into the man he is. I imagine there are so many other people Vern met through 98 years, almost a century, who have Vern to thank for something in their life. Life is measured in years but valued in experience, and Vern Kidwell blew the averages on both years and experiences. I am so very grateful. I got to have the good fortune to love and be loved by him. And I will miss him. But God knows he was ready to get the hell out of here. Ready to cross over and start being curious and stubborn and learning in a new setting. So here's to elderly men, and here's to Vern Kidwell. We should talk about that is hosted and produced by me, Jessica Kidwell. The audio engineering is done by Jarrett. Nicolay at Mixtape Studios in Alexandria, Virginia. The theme song be where you are. Is courtesy of Astra via Graphic design is by Kevin Adkins. Do you have a topic I should talk about? Let me know. Submit your idea on my website ww westatpod.com. There's a form right on the main page for you to get in touch with me. And if you don't have a topic but you want to let me know what you thought of a show, you can send me a message on any of my social links, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn threads, that platform formerly known as Twitter. On all of these you can find me at, Westat Pod. You may even hear your comments on a future show. And finally, there is no we without your participation. I really couldn't do this podcast without your support. So thank you for being here.
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