John Newport used to be a pick-up artist. He coached other men on how to pick up girls using manipulative tactics. That is, until he was told by a former girlfriend that she felt used.
Over the past two decades, John has been showing both men and women how to meet people by being authentic and building a sustainable relationship without manipulation. You can find out more about him and his co-host on the I Know Cupid podcast at the website below:
Website: www.theteachablesoul.com
Facebook: The Teachable Soul
Instagram: @theteachablesoul
Tiktok: @TeachableSoul
John Newport used to be a pick-up artist. He coached other men on how to pick up girls using manipulative tactics. That is, until he was told by a former girlfriend that she felt used.
Over the past two decades, John has been showing both men and women how to meet people by being authentic and building a sustainable relationship without manipulation. You can find out more about him and his co-host on the I Know Cupid podcast at the website below:
Website: www.theteachablesoul.com
Facebook: The Teachable Soul
Instagram: @theteachablesoul
Tiktok: @TeachableSoul
This is the teachable soul podcast. Because we cannot on the journey to success. here's your host, Kat Daniels.
Kathryn Daniels:Welcome to the teachable soul podcast, I am artists, feel free to go back and do that. You can pause now pickup artists community, and then along the way sort of and actual connection and intimacy. And kind of like a
John Newport:How are you? I'm doing great. Thank you for
Kathryn Daniels:Absolutely. Thank you so much for being
John Newport:Yeah, we are due to listener demand put on us. So releases,
Kathryn Daniels:right, because we are recording in January. And show? Are you keeping that name?
John Newport:No, actually, we are going with a new company
Kathryn Daniels:Well, that sounds super exciting. So I said that there was a women's pickup artists community. Yes.
John Newport:Well, the women's pickup artist community, you desperate, you get the S word slapped upon you. And what ethical than what the guys are doing. Yeah. So there's really only two women pickup artists that that I am
Kathryn Daniels:Oh, interesting. Okay, so clearly, I
John Newport:No, no, it's not to the degree that the that the
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah. So when you say that they're, they're
John Newport:It's more of showing them how to put the proximity distance, and then maybe a light touch on the arm kind of just slightly hinting and hoping the guy gets the hint
Kathryn Daniels:Right? So just cover all the bases here,
John Newport:there's a lot that goes into this,
Kathryn Daniels:right. So I know that one of the prop like,
John Newport:Yeah, that's, that's where they're
Kathryn Daniels:right? Is that a common problem that men have
John Newport:a little bit, a lot of it is either they're are, which helps them in finding out the type the personality misinterpreting stuff. They're misinterpreting a woman being
Kathryn Daniels:So I heard one time that the reason that men friendzone. Because they don't actually generally have
John Newport:To a degree, but not I couldn't fully agree with indicators of interest. And I just flat out asked her, are you interesting problem, where I'm, I come off as being too good to telling somebody, I'm romantically interested in you,
Kathryn Daniels:Right? Also, because I have put people have for me, and then they can't let those go. Right. What What
John Newport:for that one, I would say you have to, you need entire time you're walking, it's like walking on eggshells, you down to you Have to define what type of relationship that we ask her for any more than what she is willing to offer.
Kathryn Daniels:Right? So I'm still,
John Newport:like, am I? Am I answering the question? Or am I
Kathryn Daniels:No, no, you're not missing it. It's it's just weren't willing to stop at that boundary. And I know, from other
John Newport:Yeah. So well, it comes from it comes from the And, yeah, in the past, with certain types of women, that the end, he gets the girl, and then they live happily ever advice is, if you have somebody like that, you have to have it,
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, I wind up just having to cut them off.
John Newport:Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like little mosquito
Kathryn Daniels:Right, exactly. So I find it very interesting know, doing our best to social distance and things like that.
John Newport:Pretty much all of it
Kathryn Daniels:from date of marriage? Yes. Yes.
John Newport:Yeah, there's, yeah, we have the people that we numbers had greatly increased by almost 1200 new people per
Kathryn Daniels:to when you're down and not posting anything,
John Newport:exactly how the numbers blew us. We were what they're trying to do. And they're going to Christmas engaged. We're having here's the wedding announcements, and some kind of result, right? But here's a strategy, right? And if to show them who you are and what you offer.
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah. So I just recently have been digging into thing? Yeah. Is that a thing? Like, is that a thing, um,
John Newport:the whole alpha beta thing. The first time I everybody else that's standing behind him. That was an can become a leader. It's just, you have to put them in the
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, the research that I found had It's just it's not a thing. Which happens, you know?
John Newport:Yeah. And it's, but it's already out there. And psychologies, well, psychology, social psychology sexology, all
Kathryn Daniels:What was the title of that show for a list?
John Newport:That was over Love is blind. Netflix series, we
Kathryn Daniels:wow.
John Newport:Then when they had the reunion episode, the
Kathryn Daniels:Wait, what do you mean, like one of the
John Newport:No, no, every couple that we that we said was got both of those before. We didn't even know that there was
Kathryn Daniels:You should create an entire show around
John Newport:we've, we've done some of the we've looked at that
Kathryn Daniels:I only watched a couple of episodes of that one
John Newport:Yeah, there was another dating episode dating sitting there and it it's like a train wreck.
Kathryn Daniels:Right?
John Newport:I can't stand watching him. I'm like that he's
Kathryn Daniels:All right. And you can't yell at her cuz she
John Newport:or it was recorded a year ago.
Kathryn Daniels:Also that,
John Newport:yeah.
Kathryn Daniels:So one of the things that we kind of talked actually continue a healthy relationship. Yes, I teach you
John Newport:so much. Yeah. So
Kathryn Daniels:what does a deeper connection exactly entail
John Newport:No, actually, it's going even deeper than that. kind of throws them off, because it's not asked, but how do you little things that you just you find out after it's too late.
Kathryn Daniels:Right? And then it's a huge blowout sometimes.
John Newport:Yeah, put them under stress. Yeah, there's, um, do. Who are you? A lot of people, they can't answer that do a whole, it's an optional thing, we do a whole fashion personality, then they can look at you and go, Oh, they're see, okay, their life is rather put together. Everything should have been replaced 18 years ago. It's just one of creepy or anything. Just that they can filter to find out if 250 different types of questions they can ask, that actually will
Kathryn Daniels:And they don't have to get into a game.
John Newport:We've thought about it. But there's too many it doesn't work, it's not because of any kind of clashing
Kathryn Daniels:Right? So during the pandemic, what kind
John Newport:One of one of them is it, it's a outdoorsy type of things that were very interesting things that we afterwards, we're sitting there, we're laughing back and forth.
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah. Or you can turn it into a competition
John Newport:And that's, that's one of those other things that I
Kathryn Daniels:So if they don't turn it into a race, do
John Newport:No, actually, there's other traits that that that we talked, I only had 14, but I added a 15th. And that's
Kathryn Daniels:And why did you add that?
John Newport:It's one of the traits that is not ever if you look at go out and bring up any kind of list that is out
Kathryn Daniels:no on my list. I would certainly put though,
John Newport:yeah. Patience is a big one for me, because I'm
Kathryn Daniels:Mm hmm. That's a good one. So we were talking
John Newport:Oh, actually, this will blow a lot of people away mean, we're not even talking bc we're talking C, right. Exactly.
Kathryn Daniels:Hmm. So I wonder how long ago that whole elbow trick was conceived.
John Newport:Oh, geez. I know about three elbow tricks you can
Kathryn Daniels:I think it's the one with like the blind mice
John Newport:Yeah. Yeah, that one. I'm trying to remember who, three blind mice. Yeah, that one. It's been around for quite
Kathryn Daniels:Trust me, I'm gonna give this episode to all
John Newport:Well, that's, that's part of what our whole
Kathryn Daniels:right? Yeah, cuz it's, it's not. People are
John Newport:But we have examples that go back into the seducer written in 1903? So, I mean, it just keeps on going.
Kathryn Daniels:that actually makes me wonder is is there a
John Newport:They are starting? There's, there's more out there?
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, I, I know that. Like, I think it's harder about, I guess, is that some people just genuinely are not
John Newport:For myself? I will not. I will not risk my There's an action. Yeah. It took us the entire episode, that there was, deleting all of my r&b music, and I start throwing away all yourself up for failure. I mean, there's a difference between have been married for 15 1618 years where It's very hard to
Kathryn Daniels:So I was in a Are you on clubhouse by the way?
John Newport:I haven't heard of it.
Kathryn Daniels:Oh, so then you're not okay. Do you have an
John Newport:No, I haven't switched over to Android. Right
Kathryn Daniels:Oh, okay. So it's only available on Apple other day was, if you're not ready to be a servant, then
John Newport:Oh, gosh. No. Oh, my God, upcoming episode that
Kathryn Daniels:So except that I believe that, like, I'm not have a desire to, like, do things on a daily basis that when when you're married, and your wife is pregnant, you will
John Newport:that's, that's things. Yeah, that's being
Kathryn Daniels:Right. So.
John Newport:So maybe it was the wording that they use, it is, it's good karma out good karma back, I'm going to do this selfless. I'm not being a servant.
Kathryn Daniels:So but that I don't know, maybe like, to me,
John Newport:No transactional for us the way that we define It's kind of like the sugar baby sugar, Daddy, sugar mama type about what what you need, what you desire, what you want. So, relationship. I know that's, that's what she wants in order
Kathryn Daniels:Mm hmm. No, it does. Yeah, I think that that
John Newport:Yeah. Women submit to your men.
Kathryn Daniels:Right? Yeah, exactly.
John Newport:I have. I have a hard time with that.
Kathryn Daniels:I think most people do.
John Newport:Yeah, I don't want somebody because I've, I've read
Kathryn Daniels:right. You can't justify them with the
John Newport:Yeah. So but when I looked at It and we actually rules again for you.
Kathryn Daniels:Yes, that sounds like Scientology. Were
John Newport:I'm not exactly sure. But it was it. The woman call them first. It was oh my gosh,
Kathryn Daniels:that's like that book that we talked about
John Newport:Oh, this was the female version. Yeah. It's
Kathryn Daniels:just so awful and achy.
John Newport:Yeah. And I was like, no more. How much more
Kathryn Daniels:Right.
John Newport:But yeah, we keep we, we did a we did an entire
Kathryn Daniels:Out of burned it.
John Newport:Yeah. It took us a while to find all of the rules,
Kathryn Daniels:You probably will get a husband honey, but
John Newport:Exactly. Because, I mean, there's no definition in
Kathryn Daniels:Like, what if you meet them and the next day
Intro:Okay.
John Newport:Yeah. Or, I mean, the girl that I'm talking to, I
Kathryn Daniels:So she's the quality time gal? Hey,
John Newport:yes. We just feel that it's perfectly fine with me
Kathryn Daniels:So do you use like, I mean, obviously, you use
John Newport:No, not really. We don't, we don't do any kind of choosing that person for them. So we don't we don't do that. discover who they are what's important for them. But we also it's called the Big Five. We've run a version of that. There's their own personality and their own character traits. Because we immense amount. Stress, right? So we separate those, and then will evolve. So we help them define that. And then we show like, Do you like it? What? What? Why did you decide to buy I didn't even I hadn't even finished doing my evaluation as
Kathryn Daniels:I think it's just amazing what you can
John Newport:And so many people, they, it's all about she's nothing more than arm candy. don't really care about seminars, and that's on their mind. That's all they want. We
Kathryn Daniels:Have you found that there's an age gap or
John Newport:No, actually, it's a mixed bag. We have we have I was like, she's okay. Okay, dude, I understand. But that's There wasn't a whole lot of time for us to really help him. Help fascinating,
Kathryn Daniels:right? That's crazy. I I know that in like then you start thinking oh, well he's divorced three times. Like
John Newport:Yeah, they have. It is really a mixed bag most. up for a course unless they are 18. Because we do get into some Yeah, the biggest, the biggest group that we have, as far as relationship, we find some of the women that we work with, And it's sometimes we can't work with them until we refer them to
Kathryn Daniels:Right. It's hard to help with that when you
John Newport:Yeah, I mean, I want to, I really do, but it's, there I've had, I'm actually kind of getting a little bit
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, those are, those are really hard
John Newport:Yeah, I'm actually just regain my composure.
Unknown:I'm sorry. It's okay. I
Kathryn Daniels:mean, to bring it all up.
John Newport:It's okay. I mean, it's just this, it's very hard
Kathryn Daniels:I heard you know, we all hear that. We have because it implies that you have to deny yourself that connection
John Newport:Yeah, I mean, we travel in groups, we travel in the wrong clothes, you listen to the wrong music, you like a hmm. You want to talk to this person. You want to ask him out. later. Everybody's making fun of you. Right? To a degree, I would would not shower for a couple of days. We wouldn't change our right. Right. They don't care. There's too much other stuff whatever. I mean, I've got a freckle or a mole or whatever it
Kathryn Daniels:Exactly, yeah. Someone who's interested in you
John Newport:Yeah. And one of the challenges that I gave to a around your house naked. What I was like walk around your house solid black and kind of like a mumu dress has curly. You look Nobody's gonna be pointing at you. Right? You live on the
Kathryn Daniels:Good. That's awesome. Yeah, I know a lot of
John Newport:Yeah, and guys, it's the same thing.
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah.
John Newport:not strong enough. They're not, we're not six feet,
Kathryn Daniels:There is a guy on Tick Tock. his, his Tick Tock dedicated to women who love man, Bob's like, yeah, have you not
John Newport:Yeah, cuz we, we take people through both men and morning and night. And hey, women, here you go. Here's the can actually enhance your own natural colors. And it's not
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah. So one more question before we wrap up start. Yeah. So what is the the major? What are the major things
John Newport:Well, one I've actually already mentioned the pump is a perfect example. That's an interesting car. What topic to another. It's called a transition. Right? In like an want to carry on a conversation with me?
Kathryn Daniels:Who cares? Right?
John Newport:I didn't ask him out for a date. It's not a consideration, and it can really drastically drop the amount of
Kathryn Daniels:So two things one, do you think it would be comfortable with before they move on? from that?
John Newport:Actually, it's well for baby steps. I think the what I want you to do, I just want you to go walk down this go ask him. Tell him Hi. And then asked him for the time. So he came in, and he was holding up a couple of shirts. He wasn't even aware that he was doing it. And I started
Kathryn Daniels:Right? Now. That's a good way. So my my kill them. But by looking people in the eyes just as you walk up your competence to asking people for their phone numbers
John Newport:I wouldn't do that. No, the second part I want
Kathryn Daniels:phone number.
John Newport:Yeah. I'm courageous. I do a lot of weird
Kathryn Daniels:could be misinterpreting it. Maybe it was
John Newport:pickup artists. That sounds pickup artists,
Kathryn Daniels:right. But I think that this was more for or
John Newport:Right? Okay, well, if it's business networking, I
Kathryn Daniels:Well, I mean, even for like friendships for
John Newport:Yeah, for personal goals, or as far as building dictionary, and that's absolutely no help. No. So what order to accomplish small goals and gets a small success. So coffee line, or wherever, and I see him ordering some kind of not coming over to beat me up. Right, that's a win. Now, last
Kathryn Daniels:you were injured.
John Newport:Yeah, it was stage four, slap tear labrum tear. So And then I'll look at them. And Excuse me, I now need the REAL that. It'll boost your confidence. If you're just
Kathryn Daniels:right?
John Newport:Now just get used to just talking to somebody
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, what you were saying earlier about conversation with them. Yeah, not most of the time. But like,
John Newport:Yeah, sometimes they're gonna look at you and
Kathryn Daniels:assuming that's not happening, right. Yeah. But
John Newport:it's being genuine. I mean, walk up, have, Hollywood. Big deal. I'm not going to sit there and try to have the confidence to be genuine and authentic with the
Kathryn Daniels:Right?
John Newport:But I've, I've actually done that to two girls Are you considering it? Right? So where's the rejection? If
Intro:Mm hmm.
John Newport:And it's very, it's very, and it actually takes
Kathryn Daniels:Now we sure don't like, even when you ask us
John Newport:Yeah. Which is, which is tragic, because you Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah. And then that starts a whole slew of
John Newport:Yeah. Relationships are not easy. No. Because if you're not driving deep, then that emotional And then you find out 3456 months, or heaven forbid, 20
Kathryn Daniels:That is the definition of waste my time.
John Newport:Yeah. At or, even worse, you're just settling,
Kathryn Daniels:right?
John Newport:instead of actually going through and for that, well, the reasons there's a few things on there
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah. Yeah. Actually, in so many things,
John Newport:We're just going through over like, what, there seated, connect that deep connection, it is absolutely
Kathryn Daniels:right. That's that true love stuff people talk
John Newport:It's possible. You can't manufacture it though. Oh,
Kathryn Daniels:Right? There is a dating guru out there right
John Newport:Yes. I'm familiar with Matthew Hussey Yes.
Kathryn Daniels:What's your opinion on him?
John Newport:Well, if you go and sit through one of the That's the part that's not explained. Right. The vast Okay, if you do that, here's the other results that could take we're not going to force anybody to do it. Like we said, we have, mean, what do you want to build? So, but what they're doing is
Kathryn Daniels:yeah, he's a really great public speaker. I
John Newport:it's good motivational speaker super.
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, he's good. Yeah.
John Newport:We're not, we're not about trying to build to cargo shorts have got to go along with the sandals.
Kathryn Daniels:And the socks, homie.
John Newport:Yeah. Yeah. But it was even worse. It was brown dressing and how you were acting? Because he's just like, from you as their. So if you're not willing to do what I'm here's $1,000 audio course that will put you in the proper frame
Kathryn Daniels:Oh, of course.
John Newport:Yeah. Good. We did have one of those. She charged And then there's a breakout group. Those are 20 $300 pace.
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, it makes me I don't I it makes me so
John Newport:Yeah. I mean are. We just recently redesigned all
Kathryn Daniels:Well, but that's not 120,000.
John Newport:Yeah. Now our full blown one is 15,000 but we fly entire weekend. Friday, Saturday Sunday. airfare is paid for bottle service, dancing. It is a celebration. And we have these and work with them one on one the entire weekend. No other
Kathryn Daniels:Right? Feel good?
Intro:Yeah.
John Newport:Exactly.
Kathryn Daniels:Um, are you guys gonna do you guys should do
John Newport:We do have a lot of married married people that
Kathryn Daniels:Like I want to go,
John Newport:there's a art show that we had on kissing. We have went, I just took a bunch of courses, right? But just, it's grand finale, which is the full tongue and everything, right. actually saved it. But a simple single technique, knife, do what
Kathryn Daniels:Right. Yeah, people get told that all the
John Newport:Yeah. And part of part of what we've done, or part for so long? And they told me pretty much their entire seek have rejected him. But he caught it. He's the one I wanted. This,
Kathryn Daniels:And you have a story.
John Newport:Oh, there's all kinds of I mean, I, I have all that we have. Right. And it it works for me, it works for my co
Kathryn Daniels:for a long term, right?
John Newport:Yeah, it doesn't work long term, you're going to those of us that are actually genuine that actually wants
Kathryn Daniels:And they were too guarded. Yes. And you can competence.
John Newport:Yeah, superficial relationships. That's where I the superficial stuff. For the guys. He he has the triangular control, check auto lights, check. I mean, that's kind of traits are not there. That's why we reverse that. We go character You need these other two traits. And then I have some they're,
Kathryn Daniels:Right.
John Newport:Then I have some and I it's not the icing on the have. But they're negotiable. That I have the last few and
Kathryn Daniels:are there even that many traits and human like,
John Newport:Yeah. I was like, I don't know what kind of
Kathryn Daniels:It's so hard. I am on Tick Tock. There's like a to. And keep their ears perked up about and try to do better?
John Newport:Yeah, well, it's the problem that we've seen actually got sued by the FCC for not deleting accounts that were Well, now it's it's the only thing that they've got.
Intro:Yeah.
Kathryn Daniels:Now everybody is like the pandemic I'll take
John Newport:Just please look at me, right? The mask. But right. And an interesting thing that we're also seeing happen is kidding. tired of waiting. Right? Yeah. So they're, and do a 5050. Man.
Kathryn Daniels:Yep. Meet her halfway.
John Newport:Yeah. Because either one, either she's gonna
Kathryn Daniels:thank you so much for coming back on. And I'm
John Newport:as well, they don't have to hire us. Okay, just do a quick overview. If they want, they can actually that's how I view it. Like I said, my integrity, is it. My
Kathryn Daniels:And I doubt it's all you have if you're too
John Newport:My co host keeps saying the same thing. Right.
Kathryn Daniels:clearly, that's not entirely true, sir.
John Newport:But it's something that I don't want to take
Kathryn Daniels:Yeah, I just went on there and found like all
John Newport:Yeah, it's that we're now into our third season.
Kathryn Daniels:Nice. All right. Well, thank you so much find us on any social media platform Facebook, LinkedIn, and soul.com