I'm Dying to Tell You
I'm Dying to Tell You
Young Widow’s ALS Story: Faith, Love & Their Miracle Baby -1/2
I catch up with 33-year-old widow Melanie Lang to share how she and her husband Tyler faced ALS with relentless honesty, deep faith, and a simple motto that became their North Star: Don’t Waste A Day!
If you’re navigating illness, grief, or the heavy unknown, this conversation offers a grounded way forward: focus on today, serve the people in front of you, and let purpose be practical. Listen, share with someone who needs strength, and leave a review to help others find this story.
Hugs, Lorri
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Hey, I'm Paul.
SPEAKER_05:And I'm Christian.
SPEAKER_04:Welcome to I'm Dying to Tell You. Inspiration shared by our mom who is dying from ALS.
SPEAKER_05:There's no cure for our mom or anyone else with ALS. But right now, she's on a mission to find and share stories of inspiration.
SPEAKER_04:Coming to you from Cincinnati, Ohio, we're happy to introduce the one lady we've both loved since the first day we laid eyes on her. The Queen of the Queen City, our mom, your host, Lori.
SPEAKER_00:Hello, I'm Lori, your host of I'm Dying to Tell You. Thank you for being here. I am so grateful to be able to share the heart of my beautiful guest today. And I'm just really happy that you are tuning in to hear from her as well. Today I am talking to young 33-year-old Melanie Lang. Oh my gosh, what a powerful, inspiring story that she has to share. Melanie actually lost her husband, Tyler Lang, to ALS a year ago. He was only 33 when he passed away. When Tyler was alive, I had tried to catch up with the two of them and have them on the podcast then, but life got busy, ALS got in the way, and we just weren't able to do it. And so I was just so incredibly happy to hear from Melanie that she wanted to chat and is doing some really cool things to honor Tyler in a really special way. So I'm gonna be chatting with Melanie about how her and Tyler were able to balance love, loss, their faith, and now Melanie, her new purpose in life. This young lady has a lot to share, and I'm excited that you get to meet her today. Okay, I'm gonna jump on Zoom and connect with Melanie. So let's get started. How are you? I'm good, how are you? Doing good. Good. Thank you for joining me and being willing to chat. Thanks for inviting me. Yeah, I just think that you are such a blessing and can be such a blessing to so many people for so many reasons. Which is endless, you know. So I know it might not be easy and uh I just uh really appreciate you being here. Yeah, let's just dig in and and let's start with the most important thing here. Let's talk about Tyler. I would love to. Yeah, I bet you need love too. Tell me about how you guys even met. So we met online.
SPEAKER_01:Nice classic love story, right? Um we met online and we actually live he lived in Columbus and I lived in Cincinnati. So we kind of like started talking a little bit and um went to like set up our first date like pretty quickly. Um I was not a huge online person. It was like always so weird to me. I wasn't really a fan of it. And one of my church friends was like, why don't you just try it? Like, if if it doesn't work out, that's fine. Like if it works out great. Tyler was my first online date. So one for one. Oh my. I married I married my first online date, which is so funny. Um we we met halfway in between Columbus and Cincinnati, um, had a date, it was awesome, and then the rest is history. So that's cool.
SPEAKER_00:That's great. Okay, so how old were you guys then?
SPEAKER_01:Late 20s.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. When we uh are you 33 right now? Yes. Okay, all right. You're the same age as my youngest. Oh, really? I can be your mother. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's what I think that's what was so crazy was you know, with us just being so young and then him being so strong. I think that like really threw doctors for a loop as well.
SPEAKER_00:Um, for sure. I mean, I was 38 when I was diagnosed, and they were like, Yeah, this is when it is. I mean, we think, and then you know, second person, yeah, that's what it is. We guess so, you know, and then third, yeah, that's what it is. So um I would imagine that's very commonplace with someone young. So tell me about I mean, I'm sure there was like a million things that went through your mind when you heard the diagnosis and understood the weight of what you were dealing with. But can you share a little bit about that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so um the week of our wedding, which actually we were married four years ago today. Um what? Oh my no better way to day than talking about Tyler. So um oh perfect, perfect, wow. It was the week of our wedding. We um had an appointment, I think it was a Monday, and then we were getting married on a Friday. So honestly, looking back, I I wish we would have thought about maybe pushing that appointment to after, but I guess we just didn't think they they had kind of gone through a few different diagnosis um options or things that they thought it might be. And so when we went to that appointment, they were doing kind of the typical like tests, you know, feeling his um strength and things like that. And we had said, you know, oh, we're getting married this week and this and that. And the doctor had said, um, if your diagnosis were to change, would you guys still do what you're about to do at the end of the week? And we like kind of like looked at each other and were like, no, nothing would change, like, absolutely not, nothing would change, or whatever. And by him saying that, we knew it wasn't good. He didn't say it specifically. Tyler was pretty upset. He just put a he just started putting his shoes on and was clearly upset, and the doctor, you know, just had told us to come back. And you know, at that point, we knew that you know, once you eliminate A, B, C, D, that we were not in a good spot. So they didn't officially diagnose him then, but it was we knew there was not a good chance um after that. So we I remember, you know, we got in the car and I was driving. We drove for maybe like four minutes and then pulled off and just cried for probably 30 minutes. Um and Tyler said something along the lines of like, this is gonna be a great week. We are gonna get married this week. It's gonna be nothing but joy this week. So just focus on that. This didn't happen. Let's just have the week that we were supposed to have. And honestly, we did. We had a, I think there was, I think that night when we got, you know, when we got back and we were living with my parents at the time, and um obviously we were we made the decision to not say anything to anyone because we just wanted it to be an incredible week. Um so I do remember that evening, like you know, having another breakdown, but we'd made the decision to just do the week as we were gonna do it, and it was amazing, and we had the best wedding ever. And honestly, I I know that I it was in the back of my mind, but it almost made it like more meaningful, more special. Yeah. Um, you know, when they say in sickness and health, wow can actually commit to that when you're making that decision knowing something like that. So making that promise to each other was, you know, even more meaningful. And I think about it sometimes, like, should we have mentioned it to someone? Like it was very difficult to kind of walk through that, just me and him. But in the same way, it was kind of like we just kind of needed to get our heads around everything. So I think I wouldn't do it any different. And I I loved the way that he was like, you know, obviously super upset when we left. And he's like, you know what? Nope, we're this is our week. Like, we're not nothing's gonna bother us this week, which is like the worst thing we're here. But um, that's just how it was. He was so steady and just the most steady person as far as character and discipline and all those things. Um yeah, so it was very poor timing, but again, made our wedding incredibly meaningful and just amazing.
SPEAKER_00:So he was immediately like, I'm not gonna take anything from you, I'm not gonna let this ruin our day. Yeah, yeah. And like and that was a hard, a hard thing for him to even put aside. Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine crazy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I I and when I tell you like that week, he was just so himself, just like clearly basically was like, this is not gonna affect the best week of our life. Like it was the worst week of our life, but it was also the best week of our life. So it just a very weird place to be in. But um, yeah, that's how he was throughout the entire thing, just incredibly strong and steady, and just I don't know how he did it. I don't know how I I don't know how we did it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Like you said, carrying that burden of knowing that going into the wedding and not anyone else. But I don't think he would have had that experience that you had of joy and celebration if anyone else knew. Like even if one other person knew, you know.
SPEAKER_01:It would have been horrible. I mean, it would have been really, really tough. Um, because I, you know, we obviously have watched the video of the wedding and stuff, we watch it back, and like there's a different level of like whenever someone watched it ever since that. Like everyone else got to have that day of like just being so happy and excited for us. And there was nothing else that they had to think about. It was, you know, for them it was just a joy. And then every time after everyone knew it was like, oh, this is so cute, but it's so sad. You know, like it there's just also this little twinge of sadness to everything, which you probably understand more than anyone. Like, once the diagnosis comes, it's like every happy moment is also a little bit sad because you're like trying to hold on to all these like amazing moments. Um, but it is. It's I am glad with the way that it played out. We actually didn't end up telling anyone till after the holidays, which was something that Tyler was his favorite time of year was Christmas, and loves Christmas lights, loved the holidays, loved all of that. So he was like, if you're okay with it, can we just get through the holidays and then you know we'll go back because he didn't even want to go back to an appointment until after the holidays. And I I was like, that's fine. So we we did it that way, and you know, we're able to spend the holidays, and it was difficult, but I just think he needed a little bit of time with it before before going in and yeah, telling other people and getting that confirmation, confirmation, confirmation.
SPEAKER_00:And you guys had just gone through your wedding day uh putting it to the side. Yeah, so you're probably like, well, if we could do that, then we can go through the holidays and put it to the side.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And I think there was a little, I I'm not gonna lie, I think there was a little piece of us that was like, Well, maybe if we like get a second opinion, like maybe it is something else, or like maybe, you know, I think I always felt like that. I do remember Tyler like fairly early on saying, What if it's ALS? And I was like, stop it. Like this was like very early on. So I was like, which I didn't even know the weight of what that diagnosis meant. Like, you know, you obviously understand that it's out there, but until you experience someone close to you or you know, see someone's story or go through it, like there's no way to know. Like it is crazy. I mean, it's one of the worst things that could ever happen to someone. And I guess I just didn't realize there was nothing they could, there wasn't, there's not a lot anyone can do nothing. Um so that was just a whole nother I'm like I can't even believe there's nothing to be done. Like, so I think yeah, just a lot of you know, conflicting emotions and hoping that maybe a second opinion would not confirm like what we thought about.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So you waited until after the holidays, and then tell me about your follow-up visit. What happened there?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we had a follow-up in January, and it was actually a different doctor. It wasn't the doctor that we saw that had asked us that question the week of the wedding, it was someone else, and you know, he had sat down, had sat us down and said, like, I'm pretty sure this is ALS. You know, I'm so sorry. Just, you know, all the things that they say. Um and then I remember asking him if this was your son or daughter, or if this was your wife, like, what would you do? Um and I remember him just saying, spend as much time together as you can. And, you know, we have your back. Um the ALS clinic here in Cincinnati is great. You know, we'll refer you to them. And, you know, we went from there. That was the first, I guess technically the first diagnosis, the first official diagnosis. Yeah. So we did um opt to get a second opinion um at the Cleveland clinic. So that was a couple months later, and Tyler's parents went with us. And I think we knew for sure at that point that that's what it was, but we just before we went and told everybody, we just we wanted to, you know, make sure. So we drove with Tyler's parents to the Cleveland clinic and um, you know, saw a doctor there. His parents stayed in the lobby. We went up and um, you know, talked with them. They said the same thing that were almost positive that this is ALS. And I remember Tyler said, I'm relieved. And I was like, What? It was like, we know what we're fighting now. Like it was so 2020 was when his symptoms started, and he um had symptoms. Obviously, that diagnosis was early 2022, so he went through multiple um diagnoses. He was doing like infusions for another, like it's called MMN. I don't know if you know what that is, but another um disease that they were doing infusions for. So many appointments, so many questions, so much worrying. Like he was like, I just the fact that we know like what it is, and he's like, I feel like I can hear God telling me that it's gonna be okay, like no matter what happens. So, you know, I feel that pretty strongly. And then from there, you know, we went down and you know, told his parents and told our families and stuff, and then everything happened from there with you know our story, but it was all of those days, you know, you just don't forget uh all of those things that go into it. But like looking back on it now, I'm so grateful for the way that Tyler handled it. Um he was like so strong and so yeah, he was like very upset the week of our wedding when we left and things like that. But I can't imagine if the roles were reversed being that calm and like faith-driven, I guess. Um yeah, he I always say this, but he made it so easy to take care of him. Um because he took care of me in so many different ways, you know, emotionally, especially. Um but yeah, it it's crazy to even think about it. Feels like it was like a hundred years ago that that all happened.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I can understand his perspective of the relief. You know, I can remember the day that I was diagnosed, that relief in being able to shift my mindset.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So not really acceptance of the situation, but now I'm like, have an answer. Now I gotta take care of my kids. You know, for me, and that season of life, like you know, what's gonna happen to them? They're at vulnerable ages and all that. So I understand that relief part. Oh, absolutely. So at this point, you know for sure you're dealing with Alice at such a young age. Did you guys make a game plan or promises to each other with anything about how you were gonna handle the journey?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, um, I remember telling him that literally no matter what happens, I will take care of you. I'll be by your side. There's nothing that could happen that would, you know, pull us apart. And he was very like headstrong, disciplined, smart, like immediately started researching like what can I do? What's how can I be here as long as I can? What you know, healing, like look literally looked up everything in the world. He started eating a perfectly clean diet, organic whole foods only. So he would eat these. I remember making these like big bowls of veggies. It was just like a bunch of meat on top. And he would just, that's what he would. He would eat that. He's like, if I can get like my you know, immune system to be working top-notch, if I can have the best nutrition, like all these things. I think it was like his way of being like, they're telling me that I don't have a chance and that I can't fight this, but I'm going to anyway. And yeah, so proud of that. I remember, you know, making him tons of meals and just uh, you know, for so so long he was able to feed himself. So we were able to make him stuff, and then you know, we would feed him the big bowls of veggies and different things. He would eat Chipotle quite a bit, so I will say that like two or three times a week we would get that. Um, but otherwise, he was just like attacked his diet. He looked up stuff to get supplements and you know, all the things that he could possibly do again to stay here as long as he could and be as healthy as he could for as long as he could. And he was pretty like disciplined with his like nutrition and stuff anyway. But I just think this was like he was like, Okay, I'm ready, like we're gonna do this. So we, you know, got all that stuff ready. We got a sauna, like we anything that we could think of that would help with health. Thinking back, it wasn't. I know like some people, you're like, oh, it's such a grind, and it's so annoying to just eat like whole fruits and whole veggies, and like he was so joyful about it. Like, it wasn't like, oh, I can't believe I have to do this. It was just like, okay, this is fuel, and that's all it is, and this is how I'm gonna handle it. So thinking to it, I game plan wise, that was definitely in our you know, site. And then we ended up working with a holistic nutritionist who is like an angel on earth. She's so sweet, but she helped us. We got some like testing done on his blood and things like that, his hair to see if there was any like mold or you know, anything like that that we could detox and whatever. So we had a schedule, you know, these pills in the morning, these pills at lunch, these pills at night, all these things. And he did that from when he was diagnosed until the last week he was here. He was on some kind of protocol with supplements. We did it through his feeding tube at the end. Like I mean, I think it was like also a mindset thing where it was like we are doing something. There's something you know, fight against. I mean, that was from the beginning. He just he had that game plan. I was like, I will support you in any which way, you just let me know and we'll make it happen.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, that's amazing. I know my husband said to me, I would not have handled it the way that you were handling it. I would have just took all the money out of the bank and spent it and you know, uh been depressed and so and he really fought. Really fought. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I remember we were in the car on the way to his parents. We did a ton of traveling the first, I guess, year, year and a half or so, just a ton of back and forth with his family. We went on a ton of trips, hanging out with friends, all the things that we could possibly do. And at that point, he was in his in the wheelchair. We, you know, it was a little bit rough, you know, traveling and trying to do the food stuff and all these things, but we wanted to to make it work no matter what. And I remember him saying, like, even in his position, being in a wheelchair, not being able to, you know, lift his hands all the way up, all these different things that people can't even imagine. He was like, I would do this for a thousand years. Like, and I looked at him and I was like, I would take care of you for a thousand years. There, I I love this life. Like, we just grew to appreciate each other and our life so much. And we both would say, he even said this to me, like, I never was that way. I was always like, What's the five-year plan? What's the 10-year plan? Like, and it was just we had to focus on every day and sometimes every hour. And it was such a blessing because we did have that appreciation. Like, even though he was in that state, he's like, I love my life. I could, I wish I could live a thousand years here. Like, I and it's just such a I mean, that really just shows God working through him and the peace that he had. And again, that was before things got really, really bad. But he, I mean, I always told him this that I would probably feel this way. I would be like, I wouldn't want to be here, like if that was my life, if that was my struggle. And he never one time said that. He never was just so happy to be here. You could tell. I mean, he just even when he couldn't talk, he'd just laugh and wink and you know, all those things like just amazing.
SPEAKER_00:Oh you mentioned your faith a couple times. Can we talk about your faith and how you were able to keep that strong in the middle of everything? You know, I've talked to so many people on the podcast, and I've had people say that their faith has grown. I have people said, no, I walked away. You know, how can this be happening even in young people? Tell me a little bit about that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I completely understand anyone's reaction to something like this happening. Um, you know, you just go through all the emotions and all the questions and all the things, and coming out the other side of it, like Tyler and I both felt like there was a reason. And again, not that God caused this to happen. There were many times that Tyler said, like, God's the most upset about this of anyone. He's the most upset. And that always made me feel feel better. But just the things that happened, the people that surrounded us, the situations that fell into place for us, there was no denying that God had a hand in it. And Tyler's faith, he he went on like the most amazing faith journey. I would say when we met, it was much more like me who was like, you know, this is very important. Like, we need this for our lives, we need this for our kids, like this very important thing to pass down to our families and things like that. And we both got the opportunity to walk through a season where, you know, quote unquote, we lost everything and we got to prove, not prove, but we got the opportunity to step up in our faith and show that even in the worst situation, if you still hope, if you still believe, if you still have faith, like all of these miracles can happen. Maybe it's not the miracle we wanted for him to be healed here, but so many amazing things happened along the way that there's just no denying that God played such a big role in it. And I would say, like, our relationship when we got married, um, the pastor that married us said something that I always think about. He said, your relationship with each other should show people God, like the way that you forgive each other, the way that you take care of each other, the way just that you interact with each other, like when people see you, that should be a reflection of God. And so we always talked about we had a really hard time saying, like, we love God more than we love each other because we got so close. We spent every second together. We, I mean, going through all of these traumas together. There was like barely any time that we spent apart. So we just got this like incredible, unbreakable bond where he would look at me and I would know like what he needed. I would get up and go get it. And like people would be amazed by it. But we got this like amazing connection. So we would actually pray, you know, God help us to love you more than we love each other because we just were so, so clean so much to each other. And I remember one night I the roles like reversed a little bit, like I kind of maybe was just so focused on taking care of him that like the faith side of things always had it, but it wasn't really like my go-to. And then Tyler really started, he'd be like, turn on the Bible study, like, come on, we gotta pray, we gotta wake up. We like he would be so disciplined in the faith aspect that like the times that you know I was slipping, I would look to him because he was looking to God, or the times that he was slipping, he would look to me and I would be looking at God. So like we helped each other in that way that like we were able to kind of keep each other on track in different parts where you know he was struggling, I'd really pick up the ball. And then when I was struggling, he would do the same. But we worked really hard at it. I think people sometimes think, you know, it's this thing that you have or you don't have. Um, I don't find that to be the case. I think that he worked as hard as I've ever seen someone work on his faith. You know, he'd listen to sermons, he would, like I said, we would watch like a Bible study together every day. We would pray in the morning, we'd pray before bed. Sometimes we'd have to pray throughout the day if he was having, you know, like panic attacks throughout the day because of his breathing. Like there was just so it was so ingrained in our routine that I don't know how people can get through life without it. I understand where it would be very easy to just be like, I can't, you know, do this. But in my our experience, like it was the only thing that helped because nothing else was gonna heal him here other than faith. And if he wasn't healed here, he would be, you know, healed in heaven. And, you know, we had to cling to that. And then for me, it's like I need to look at the big picture, like I will see him again. And I'm just so proud of the way that we both were able to help each other up in that aspect. I remember telling him one night, uh, Tyler, you know, you're the reason I believe in God, right? And he looked at me and said, That's funny because you're the reason I believe in God. So we just had so many moments like that where I'm I look back and I'm like, you know, if our life would have gone any other way, like would we have like bonded in that way, or would we have like the faith that we ended up having? Um, I don't think so. But it's just, you know, looking at it as a blessing in that way. And again, the People that stepped up for us, the situations that happened that unfolded perfectly so that we would be taken care of. There's just no way that all of those things would line up. Just amazing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Thank you for being so honest about that. And like you said, no perfect walk. I mean Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01:So much anger.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Anger, doubt, questioning. Like that doesn't mean it's one way.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know.
SPEAKER_01:I almost feel that it's like harder now because you know, I always had him to be able to kind of pull me up and help me get like back on track, which he still does now in some ways, signs and things like that. But it's definitely, you know, harder when you don't have your other half to help you through, um, you know, physically here on earth. I'm just really proud of his journey because there was so many things that you know he had said previously, I was just so worried about all of the the wrong things, or maybe not even the wrong things. Maybe like just what does my future look like? You know, I have to make the money, I have to get the house, I have to all the things like that some people think most people think are important, and those are very important things, but when you wake up every day not knowing if you're going to wake up the next day, some of that stuff is much less important. So I think that was his the way that he walked through that and then found faith and kept his his eyes on it. I'm just so proud of him. He did a great job on it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. How do you see faith showing up right now?
SPEAKER_01:So many different ways. Um, lots of signs, things that happen that are, you know, things that he and I would talk about, and then, you know, the bird shows up or the certain thing happens, and it just, you know, makes you think that they're there with you. The biggest piece of it, I would say, is like the people around me, like our family, our friends, like the way that they rallied around us, I can't even put into words. Um, I'm very, very close with Tyler's family. I'm very, very close with my own family. You know, my siblings, my parents, we ended up buying the house next door to my parents. Um crazy situation happened where we were able to do that. And Tyler's aunt, her name's Aunt Shannon, but she moved in with us when Tyler was diagnosed. She's an OT that like travels and gets into people's houses. So it was like a perfect situation where she ended up needing a place to live and we needed help. And it just, she's like a part of our nuclear family, um, you know, over the years and stuff. So just ways that God has put people in our lives. We've all created this community that they're like, how can we help? Like, what can we do? Is it do we need to give you space? Can we show up and just do housework? Like, what can we do? Just taking care of us so much that like sometimes we were like, Do we like deserve? Like, I feel like other people deserve it, but like, why is everyone so nice? Like, why are they all so much for us? Like, it just was overwhelming. It was overwhelming, just the support. And even now, like you said, where do I see faith? Now it's like every single time I am upset or gonna have a breakdown, someone is checking in on me. Like, there's a message on my phone, or someone walks in, or someone calls, like you know, his friends like texted me, you know, we'll take care of you forever. And they send me flowers on my birthday. And like, they're just such amazing people, like my friends. I mean, they're like, sorry if we're annoying, like we just want to make sure you're like, you know, we're we're gonna bust down the door if we don't hear from you for a couple weeks. Like amazing people that have really showed me, you know, what faith can do, what the support. It's unbelievable. I I feel so supported. And Tyler felt the same way. He just kept, he would always say, like, I just can't believe I can't believe it. He's like, I just can't believe the impact that, you know, just us sharing a little of our story, people want to help. They want to, you know, see what they can do to help others, not just us, but like other people that are going through this too. But it is it's shocking. Like, I think a lot of people don't have a ton of awareness about A-less.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I think because we were so young and had such a big support, you know, Tyler's from a very small town. So a lot of the town and the sports teams and you know, all the people know about what happened. And yeah, it's been amazing. It's been really our community has been incredible.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. I I know, I was thinking about your community, your young community. And I mean, in your 20s, you shouldn't be thinking about uh a terminal diagnosis and living without your partner and all that. So I get it. Let's talk about Tyler's motto, together your motto. Don't waste a day. I've I reference that all the time. Actually, yeah, I met uh the Uber driver yesterday in Denver telling him don't waste a day. I thought he was gonna cry.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I love it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so uh that motto is so powerful. So, how did that even get started? Was it something that he said often, limped and out? Of course, I can tell. But tell me how that came to be.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so it was so sweet. He, you know, we would have our routine up in our luckily we had have a house that was like a perfect setup for our situation. So our bedroom, like the ceilings are kind of high. We have a bathroom attached, like very spacious. So with the chair and everything, it never really felt like, you know, just a bedroom that we were crammed in. It was like our house, like up, you know, just the bedroom and the bathroom was like our little house. People would come up and, you know, sit and eat up here and things like that. But anyway, so he would always be on one side of the bed. And in the mornings, I would be like, you know, just sleep in. You had a rough night last night, like don't worry about it. That's what I would do. I'm like, I would just sleep in as late as I could, I wouldn't even worry about it. And he always would wake up, you know, smiling, turn on the the um, we would always watch get up in the morning. That's like a sports uh show. We would do um, like I said, the Bible study, things like that. But he would just be like so excited to start the day every day. And he would say, like, I don't want to waste it, I don't want to waste a day. Like, I'm not gonna sleep in. Like, and I'm so he just kept saying that. And the one morning, I think he literally said, like, I don't want to waste a day, like said it like that to me, like, because I kept telling him, like, just sleep in, like, it's fine. Let's get a couple of things done while you sleep in. And uh, I just was it was just such an inspiration to me to see someone in such a tough spot that couldn't, you know, get up and go work out or couldn't get up and read on their own. Like, it couldn't scratch his face. Like, hey, my eye itches. Can you scratch my eye? Like, I just couldn't imagine that. And not only that, but then for him to just be like so excited for the day, like it just like blew my whole worldview of like we really do have a choice. We have a choice every single day when we wake up to say, you know, what no matter what happens to me today, like it is gonna be a great day. Like, I'm gonna make it a great day. Like, if someone tells me I have two to five years to live, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go have the best wedding of my life. Like, I just it just was like so incredible to see someone like faced with that, and then to be able to just be so happy and so genuinely excited for a day that was the same almost every day. Like, we there at some point there was not very much that we were able to do, but he just always kept his mind, you know, he would watch different things, we would watch funny videos together, we would I would read to him all the time. Like, just for someone to have such an attitude, um, and I think this is what really why it kind of spread and like affected so many people was like a lot of people were like, Well, I just would I would want to die if I was in that situation. Like, I would not want to be here. And for him to be like, no, no, like let's not lose the plot here. Like, you have a purpose and an opportunity, and no matter what the day looks like, and we had terrible days, like, don't get me wrong, there was days where it was so hard and so rough, and like sobbing on his end, on my end, like falls, like traumatic, terrible things that happened throughout the whole process. I'm sure you know, you know, and understand all of that. But he would even be like, Yeah, like you know, the day started off bad, like let's turn it around. Like, we we got this. And he was like a pretty private person in general. So for him to be able to allow me to kind of share some of our story. And, you know, I remember I had made him a video for his birthday, and a lot of it was, you know, breathing machine, wheelchair, like all these things. And he kind of started crying at the end, and he was like, I'm not embarrassed at all. And I was like, You shouldn't be like that's amazing that you're sharing your story. And, you know, I think an older version of Tyler would be very embarrassed about that. He was always just so put together. Um, but for him to be so again, just that attitude of like, I'm making the decision whether I'm having a good day or not. Like when I look to God and when I put faith first and put hope first, like I'm gonna have a good day. And I just try to tell everyone I meet to live that way because as hard as it is and as sad as some of the things that we have gone through, I genuinely feel like the little things and the stuff that I get to do, I feel so blessed. Like when I stand up in the morning, you know, when I pick up my daughter, when I wipe my face off when it itches, like I'm just like, thank you, God, that I'm able to do this because there's so many people that can't, or there's so many people in worse situations. Um, and Tyler said that all the time. He would he would watch, you know, like war movies or like really sad stuff. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, our our life is sad enough. Like, we don't need to watch this stuff. And he's like, I feel like solidarity, like I feel like if these people can do this, I I can do what I'm doing. Like he just he he had an amazing attitude about what this life was about, and still struggled in a lot of ways um emotionally, because every time he started crying, it would be hard for him to breathe. So it was hard, like sometimes he would have a harder time getting emotional, other than with me, because it would kind of take his breath away. Um but it just he just, yeah, he was just so excited to have the opportunity. He said every day that I'm able to open my eyes, it's gonna be a good one. And I just I was like, I have to share this message. So he he allowed me to kind of start slowly sharing things. And by the end of it, he he never he was like, Yeah, he's like, share whatever you want. Like if it can help anybody, I'm I'm in.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love that. And like right now, my listeners that are tuning in are probably like I can't even imagine the strength that she has right now. And it's almost been one year since Tyler passed. Yeah. Can you tell me about don't waste a day, as far as how that is getting you through every day?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think really looking at and I I think I got into this habit with Tyler. We both, you know, had to live this way. But it was like you just focus on today. Like it all your plans for tomorrow, for next week, for next year, like, yes, it matters in like a general sense, but you could only have today. Like none of us know. Like Tyler and I would talk about that all the time. You know, we would have to do like our will or like things that are really heavy and really hard to talk about. But I'm like, we don't know what's gonna like something could happen to me before you. Like, we just don't know what's gonna happen. So just it sounds kind of cliche to say, like, live every single day like it's your last. But it's so true. And I think the reason that Tyler and I had such like a strong bond, friendship, relationship, marriage, all those things was every single day we knew that it might be the last day that we would see each other. So nothing was a big deal. Nothing was, you know, worth being upset over, knowing that you never know if the next day you're gonna have together or not. So it was just like even if we were a little upset with each other or a situation that was hard, a lot of the transfers and you know, figuring out what to do when and all that is very difficult. But it was like we would get upset for two seconds and we just look at each other and smile and be like, love you, and you just move on. Like it just doesn't matter, like because you just don't know how long you have. So I think that day to day or minute to minute, like focusing on that, and I've had to do that, like I can't even imagine thinking about the future. Like I'm just trying to get through every single day, and I'm trying to do the best that I can every day in terms of Tyler woke up with a smile on his face every single day being in that situation. And for me to do anything less than that, of course, I have like my bad days and my cries and all those things, but I want to honor what he did here and what we built together. And I just like I was saying before, it's like a different level of gratitude for every day that I get, and it's like I will just be here for a short time, and I just need to do the best that I can for this time, and then I'll get to see him again. So it's like he would, you know, you have a ton of work to do here. Like you gotta, you gotta do your work here. So I just think taking things day to day. And then I think the other big piece of like, don't waste a day was not really in the messaging, but more so like just make a difference to the people in your life. Like, you don't have to like be someone that has like a million followers or anything to make a difference. It's like the people that are around you, the people that you interact with, the people that you can help do it. If you can do it, like it doesn't have to be a huge thing, it it can just be your family and your friends. And there's been so many people in Tyler's family and friends that have told us, me have told me and Tyler, um, that like our story and the way we handled this has changed their life and their the rest of their life is different because of it. And I just can't think of anything that I'd be more proud of. Um and I think Tyler would feel the same way. Like he told me a couple times that this is for whatever reason, this is his purpose, and we can either do a lot of good with it or we can hide and not do anything with it. So I think remembering all of those things, like I just want to make him so proud of what we did together.
SPEAKER_00:And oh there's no doubt, no doubt. Hey, I am really enjoying our conversation, and if it's okay with you, yeah, I would like to make this a two-partner. Sure, absolutely so we can follow up in the next episode.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, I would love to.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, with your biggest miracle. Okay, I've never I've never decided to make a two-partner right in the middle of an episode, but it had me talking for a long time, and like I said, I was just really enjoying my conversation here with Melanie. So I'll release the second and final part of our chat real soon. Thank you so much for being here and letting me share Melanie with you. And I I just can't believe that I had asked her to talk today on her and Tyler's wedding anniversary. I did not even know that. Oh my gosh, all the signs. So thank you so much for being here. Hey, if you are new to listening to the podcast, if you want to follow and see what's coming up next, you can find me pretty much everywhere on social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, all at Um Time to Tell You podcast. And if you're liking the vibe of the podcast and you want to share it with a friend, thank you so much for doing that. Um another way to bring people into the podcast is to leave a reining and a review on Apple or Spotify, wherever you listen. And I know this is an above and beyond step. Um, but it really does help and I really appreciate it. So if you have a couple minutes to do that, thank you so much. But most importantly, thank you for being here and being a part of this very special community. Okay, look for part two. My conversation will continue with Melanie Lang. For now, know you are loved and not alone. Thanks for listening.
SPEAKER_05:Thank you for listening to our mom. Make sure to visit her website at I'm DyingTotellYouPodcast.com, where you'll find photos and show notes about this episode. If you like the show, please subscribe to the podcast and share it with your friends. Thank you.