Facing The Truth In The Mirror - Varsey Laurelle

In this episode of Everything's Not Black & White, Lachandra and Brian sit down with cultural change strategist and executive coach Varsey Laurelle for an uncompromised conversation on Facing the Truth in the Mirror. Varsey shares why traditional DEI and HR frameworks often fall short, framing DEI as just "one tree in the forest of culture." She introduces her "Present Continuous Leadership" model—centered on time, energy, and presence—and dives into what it really takes to move from corporate box-checking to authentic values alignment. From breaking free of "golden handcuffs" to building your own table, this episode is a masterclass on leading and living with intention. 

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Transcript

Show: Everything's Not Black & White

Hosts: Lachandra (La) & Brian

Guest: Varsey Laurelle

Announcer / Intro:

Ever hear a backstory that completely changes the way you look at the world? Welcome to Everything's Not Black & White with your hosts, Lala and Brian. We're stepping into the gray area to uncover the unexpected perspectives and lived experiences you didn't know you were curious about.

Lachandra:

Hello everybody and welcome to today's episode! Today's guest is someone very special, my homegirl Varsey Laurelle. We get mistaken for each other all the time because we're two tall, gorgeous chocolate ladies, and we've partnered on many projects together over the years. We've shared many great conversations—more than I can even count. And she's also a kick-ass mama to two beautiful kiddos.

Varsey is a cultural change strategist, founder of Varsey Laurelle Enterprises, guided by her own set of core values and her Present Continuous Leadership philosophy centered on time, energy, and presence. Today we're talking about identity, transition, and what it means to build a life and a workplace rooted in belonging. Please welcome my girl, Varsey Laurelle! Welcome to the gray area.

Varsey Laurelle:

Thank you for having me!

Lachandra:

We love having you! Are you kidding me? I'm so honored to officially share this space with you.

Varsey Laurelle:

Oh, we're going to have a ball. I can't wait. The audience is in for a treat!

Lachandra:

So let's get started, right? Your title—you are a Cultural Change Strategist. Walk us through what that actually means day-to-day, and how it's different from a typical HR or DEI role.

Varsey Laurelle:

First, I'll say HR is very much for the organization. No matter how you try to frame it or angle it—yes, you care, up until a certain point, right?

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI)—I like to think of DEI as just one tree in the forest of culture. So if I only focus on DEI, I'm missing so much more. Plus, in today's environment, the language alone can cause people to shut down. I want to step into a space using expansive, open language that everyone can understand.

When I think about culture, I think about a group of people. If we take Brian out of the room, the culture shifts because now it's just you and me. If two more people walk in, it shifts again. The strategy part is bringing all of those truths together—identifying our values, who is in the room, and where we want to go so we can align our head and heart to move forward intentionally.

Lachandra:

That is spot on. A lot of times companies put those pretty, pretty plaques on the wall with their values. They mention them during orientation, and then you never hear them again or see them in action. What do you think is the disconnect between what's written on the wall and what's actually produced in the workplace?

Varsey Laurelle:

We are a society that loves to talk like or act like, but we don't put energy into actually being like. It's hard to do the thing you say you are; it's much easier to just say it. The disconnect is the actual work and action.

I remember when I was younger, working retail, I stole a tag gun and swapped tags to get deals. I used to tell myself I had integrity, but in the shadows, I knew the truth. It felt good to say it, but acting on it is where the real work lies.

Lachandra:

Oh, child, that's it! When organizations invite me in, I ask them: "I'm going to come in and speak to your team, but what happens after I leave?" Otherwise, it's just a pretty speech that creates no real movement. Knowledge without application is just noise!

Varsey Laurelle:

100%! That's why we're so in sync. I don't put band-aids on a heart that needs a transplant. It's about what we are doing away from the workshop or coaching session. Who is holding us accountable, and how are we holding ourselves accountable?

Lachandra:

You have this beautiful philosophy about Present Continuous Leadership. Break that down for us and our audience.

Varsey Laurelle:

I'm a grammar nerd! In grammar, the present continuous tense of a verb ends in "-ing." A verb is an action word, and "-ing" means you are currently in the moment—it's happening right now. Not past, not future. Change is a continuum, and the hardest part is when you have one foot in what was and one foot in where you're going.

My leadership framework focuses on three pillars:

1. Time: How we make decisions with our 24 hours.
2. Energy: What fuels us versus what drains us.
3. Presence: Practicing mindfulness and being anchored right here in the room, rather than worrying about the next meeting or dinner plans.

Lachandra:

That triggers so much for me. People always say they're "booked and busy," but my question is: booked and busy doing what? Are we actually being productive, or just avoiding being present?

Varsey Laurelle:

Exactly. Culture makes us feel like if we aren't doing something, we're being lazy. But as a leader, if you try to control everything out of fear instead of delegating and trusting others, you become your own bottleneck.

Lachandra:

You put a spotlight on a major leadership flaw right there! We are human beings, not human doings. When you ask someone about themselves, they immediately state their job title. What do you think holds people back from showing who they really are?

Varsey Laurelle:

We are afraid to know the truth about ourselves. When I started my own healing journey, I was checking every single box—high school, college, master's degree, marriage, house, kids, dog—waiting for this metaphorical pot of gold. One day I looked in the mirror long enough to see the truth: the manipulations, the lies, the things I was avoiding. I broke down crying. It's easier to say who you are than to look in the mirror and actually be it.

Lachandra:

Whew! That reminds me of a quote by Thasunda Brown Duckett: "My title is rented, my character is owned." If you don't take time to know yourself, you will always be in submission to someone else.

Brian:

(Chyming in) I can second that!

Lachandra:

Listen, heffa! My heffa chiming in at the wrong spot! (Laughs)

Brian:

Well-timed, well-timed! I gotta pick my spots wisely.

Lachandra:

Now don't get in trouble when this recording is over! (Laughs)

Varsey, you have such a magnanimous presence, and I love your multicultural background. Tell the audience a bit about your roots and story.

Varsey Laurelle:

I am a very proud Bahamian-American, the first born in the U.S. on my mother's side. My mom won Miss Bahamas, which gave her a scholarship to college in Florida, and the family eventually migrated to Ohio. Growing up in a Bahamian household in Columbus, I looked and sounded Black American, but my household culture, food, and beliefs were purely Bahamian. I had to study and learn Black American cultural nuances on my own just to navigate different spaces.

Eventually, that posturing of asking, "Can I have a seat at this table?" shifted to: "Here is my table." How can I make a safe place for everyone to join?

Lachandra:

I love that! Growing up Black in southern Georgia was very different from inner-city Black culture. The Black experience is not a monolith. I used to listen to Def Leppard and The Cranberries alongside Luther Vandross, and people questioned my Blackness all the time.

Varsey Laurelle:

Yes! Being married to a non-Black man, people sometimes question if I'm "pro-Black enough." But creating safety means allowing people to show up authentically without having to prove their identity to anyone. If you're down for humanity and the cause, I'm down with you—period.

Lachandra:

Amen to that. Now, I know you serve on the board for Freedom a la Cart. Talk to us about your community work and what that board service means to you.

Varsey Laurelle:

Growing up, I thought board members were only old, wealthy white men. Stepping into that role required doing it afraid. At Freedom a la Cart, we support survivors of sex trafficking with housing, workforce development, therapy, and mentorship. Connecting with their stories helped me realize my own family history had ties to labor trafficking when migrating to Ohio.

Lachandra:

I applaud the work you do with them! It aligns so much with democratizing philanthropy. You don't need millions of dollars to be a philanthropist—giving your time, $5, or your skills makes you a philanthropist.

Varsey Laurelle:

100%. When looking at board work or personal coaching, I always ask two screening questions: What is your intention, and how do you define success? When you define success for yourself based on your own values—whether that's time freedom or supporting your family—it guides every transition you make.

Lachandra:

What was the final straw that made you say "no" to corporate spaces and "yes" to stepping out as an entrepreneur?

Varsey Laurelle:

The short answer? They pissed me clean off! (Laughs)

The expanded version is that as a Black leader in training and development, employees felt safe coming to me with real grievances. But when I brought those concerns to executive leadership, they were brushed aside. I hated being the messenger for decisions that misaligned with my core values. I realized those "golden handcuffs" weren't worth sacrificing my peace for a false sense of corporate security.

Lachandra:

At what cost, right?! How can our listeners connect with you, Varsey?

Varsey Laurelle:

Hit me up on my pager! (Laughs) Just kidding! You can visit my website at varseylaurelle.com for coaching, speaking, and consulting, or subscribe to my monthly newsletter, The Hard Truth. You can also find me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and TikTok under Varsey Laurelle.

Brian:

I have to add—I've never felt shorter in my life sitting next to you two tall ladies! (Laughs)

Lachandra:

Bless his heart! But he has a long back, so that counts for something! (Laughs) Brian, tell everyone how they can connect with us.

Brian:

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram, or email us directly at embwpodcast@gmail.com. Thank you all for listening, and Varsey, thank you for being here with us!

Lachandra:

We love you so much! We'll see y'all in the next episode!