Fartmouth
The most raunchy, stupid, and irreverent comedy podcast on the internet. The podcast equivilent of getting a lobotomy.
Fartmouth
330 - Fart Party 3
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This week's show features...
- Would You Rather
- Thyler & Jake's Top 5ses
- Some post-party recap
Go ahead. Get your warm-up routine. I want to hear your warm-up routine.
SPEAKER_02Gonna drown, drown with my cum in your mouth.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Sugar, you're chugging down semen. Do you normally uh do you normally smoke a cigarette while you're warming up? Yeah, no, I can't. Yeah, dude. Practice like warm baby.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's right, yeah. Dude, I have smoked an entire cigarette on stage, like just playing a part, you know, when I'm playing bass or playing guitar on something that I don't have to sing in, then I'll smoke a cigarette if it's a bar where I can do the. You think you're fucking Dave Chappelle or something, dude? It's really fun, dude. It's so fun. I know it's the biggest like chode move of all time, but it's so fun.
SPEAKER_03My favorite thing right now is that we can still hear the UFC in the background.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're gonna have to mute that.
SPEAKER_02It's kind of distracting. I can keep it up there, personally, because it won't distract me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you don't care that much.
SPEAKER_02Sweaty men do not distract me. I mmm.
SPEAKER_03That means unsweaty men does.
SPEAKER_02He likes some dry dry ass men so they can't so they can't get away from it. Give me a dry ass man, dude.
SPEAKER_03I love that. I can get a good grip on him. I want an ashy motherfucker, dude. I want their hips nice and dry. I put some of that football stick them on my hands. No, he's talking about those old people on like Florida Beach who are like dying from the leather bags. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05Motherfucker's got the texture of fucking basketballs. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Nice and grippy.
SPEAKER_01Fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, cool. We got uh Dildo Master Jake. I see that. Easy and uh Robbie Kitchens in the chat. We're gonna go ahead and uh kick this little fucking. You wanna start? You know what's crazy? This thing's not even ready. I'm I'm less prepared than you. Oh. I doubt it. You wanna go classic? You can go with the classic.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. The production of the stupid shit?
SPEAKER_03This is muted, first of all. Second of all Second of all, we do have to switch the TV over so we can play stuff out loud. Oh, you want to? Well.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I don't give a shit if it's a capella. That's just a cappella, you know. We're we only have a few drops. Does it matter? Uh do you guys want to hear them? Is it is it? Do you want to just awkwardly hear Jake saying a cappella? It is gonna be awkward, but you'll hear it from my headphones a little so you'll understand what's happening. Fuck it.
SPEAKER_05I'm deaf. I'm not gonna hear nothing.
SPEAKER_02Have you already started?
SPEAKER_03Um we've been recording for like 10 minutes. Alright. Alright, let's fucking go, dude. The following filth is a production of the farm team versus and the different department. Thank you for listening.
SPEAKER_01Fuck it. I changed it. I changed it and it hurt. It hurt to fuck it up, but I fucked it up. Start it over.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna crank it up a little just to smidge. I'm glad I fucked it up.
SPEAKER_02That's so great. Following filth is a production of the Farm Team University Tube Shit and the Dimitrip Department. Thank you for listening.
SPEAKER_01Bitch, welcome to Far Party 3 Department University. I'm number one on THPS on Switch 2 in New York City. God damn it, bro. I knew that would piss you off.
SPEAKER_03That's why I did it. Dude. These past two days have been a fucking brutal experience for me. Yesterday I spent six hours watching him play Pokemon while trying not to fall asleep on the couch. Today, we all four of us, Mark and Basket and me, had to well, that's three people, but you get what I'm saying. We were trapped in this fucking sauna of a garage watching him play Tony Hawk because he just refused to give up on his stupid high score.
SPEAKER_02Dude, I said multiple times, multiple times I said we can play something else. And then right after he played Mario Kart.
SPEAKER_03Right afterwards, he goes, I don't know, I don't feel like I'm gonna be able to move on if I don't beat this.
SPEAKER_02But multiple times I said we could play something else.
SPEAKER_03No, it's fine. I did do it. I got it. Today. The right vibe was to bring the speaker in, because at least the music was pleasant.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Just listening to it.
SPEAKER_01It was so quiet last night, just special move sounds. For two hours, probably.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we should add that sound effect to the board.
SPEAKER_01Ding.
SPEAKER_03Every time Jake lands a good joke, I'll hit the sound like he landed a good joke.
SPEAKER_01Why didn't we do that two years ago, dude? That's perfect.
SPEAKER_03I'll have to add it later. Anyway, welcome everyone to Fart Mouth Podcast, a show whose hosts are surrounded by more hot, sweaty meat than a gay man in a white castle that's also inside of a Turkish bathhouse. Nice. Every week we do a few rotating segments. I fucked up worse than you did. Every week we do a few rotating segments to make each other laugh. I'm Tyler. I'm Jake. And we've got Clay. We've got Basket. We've got Jesse. We've got Marcus. We've got Mark. And we've got more people on the way. And we're live from the two-fart garage. Yeah, dog. Ready to do a pretty ho-hum live episode.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, all the fucking hoity-toity plans we had did not work out. We just didn't do all that. It was a lot. And also, it was like some people that were gonna show up didn't show up, and you know. Yeah. We were like, uh we were expecting five or six people to do that thing. Yeah. Who who listened, you know, who you know what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, people got ragged by their girlfriends. It's all good. That's what I'm trying to say, but I didn't want to say women are the worst, is what Jake was saying. That's I think we could probably put a quote on a t-shirt. Jake says women are fucking pigs. Sure.
SPEAKER_01Sure.
SPEAKER_03Dash Jake. And then like the coordinates to his house. Yeah. And his his Twitter handle. That would just make your fucking life, wouldn't it? Yeah, sure. Every time you log into Twitter. Twitter's like Jake's favorite thing to go to.
SPEAKER_02A. It's fun. Okay. It's fun to rag on people on Twitter.
SPEAKER_03B, it's not.
SPEAKER_02That's my ism, isn't it?
SPEAKER_03It's one of your isms.
unknownFuck.
SPEAKER_03Right along ought. Ah. Singer. Alright, fuck it. We're just gonna do a couple segments and then get out of here. How about that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We got some drugs to do and some bounce houses to roll around.
SPEAKER_02Aren't we gonna do those?
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Do you want to Are we gonna do those now? Let's do it now. Now? Where's your where's your paper plate full of drugs?
SPEAKER_02Alright, let's go get it. Oh, Mark's gonna get it. His his caterer mindset. He lives to please, dude.
SPEAKER_05Nick said I had to do all the acid you have left. No, you can't.
SPEAKER_02That's way too much.
SPEAKER_05I've never done acid in my life. Oh my god. You can do a half a hand.
SPEAKER_02Do a little, yeah, do a little piece. Not doing acid. Oh, see what happens. Alright. Fuck. Alright. So we got. This is a pretty normal looking square that I can't pick up.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Ah fuck.
SPEAKER_03I will also take a normal size square. You cut these up in the weirdest fucking way. No, I didn't.
SPEAKER_02I cut a tiny I cut a bunch of tiny pieces. That's probably what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_03I gassed you up like calling you the whiz of the ciz, dude, and you got like this. It looks like you just fucking grated it with a cheese grater.
SPEAKER_02No, dude, those are little pieces, so that you know anybody who, you know, might be apprehensive would take just a little piece. We're passing the plate around. Yeah, we're pl passing the plate around.
SPEAKER_03The collection plate.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_03It's the correction plate. Yeah. That's what it is. It fixes your retarded brain to be better. Do you have it in your mouth already? No. I'm waiting for everyone else.
SPEAKER_01Me too, me too, me too.
SPEAKER_02I cut up a bunch of small pieces, so don't feel shame at just grabbing a tiny piece.
SPEAKER_03He took his. Just a little bit. Just a little corner basket.
SPEAKER_02Just a little corner, a little corner piece. You could hit it. You could do it anytime. Once you see how much fun we're having, you might be like, actually, this seems awesome. Or not.
SPEAKER_03Or Jake's gonna be rolling around in the grass like a dog. No. Nah. It's gonna be fine. Alright, I'm going for it. Me too.
SPEAKER_01Here we go.
SPEAKER_02Get it if you're going to.
SPEAKER_03Mmm. Tastes like plastic.
unknownWell.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, kinda, yeah. It's like sucking on a Lego. Yeah. Or is Jake's favorite pastime sucking on a baby carrot? Yeah. That's fun. Or like a Vienna sausage.
SPEAKER_02It takes forever to get it soggy.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm. Forever. Yeah. Alright. Segments? Sure. Let's do let's do this one first. Would you rather classic rather extreme? Yeah. You want to go first? Sure. Alright. Tyler. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Would you rather? Do three more hits of acid. Oh no. And then visit the Humane Society. Okay. Or suck a good looking hygienic and physically sensitive man off to completion.
SPEAKER_03What what's your de why what is your definition of a good looking man? What's your definition of a good-looking man? Well, it's your you came up with the idea to call him good looking. I mean, automatically. Come on, bro.
SPEAKER_02You know what a good looking man is to you. He's sitting on top of a cooler right now. Exactly. Okay, Jesse then. We'll pick him.
SPEAKER_00I tried picking him up on my way here.
SPEAKER_02Guys at tank tops are my type. He's pretty hygienic.
SPEAKER_00Yeah?
SPEAKER_02I don't know if he's physically sensitive. Do you come quick, bro? Do you have a problem with coming quick?
SPEAKER_00Well, I mean, it depends. Is it Tyler or is it Tyler?
SPEAKER_02I just mean in general. It's two different.
SPEAKER_03Do you like hairy man ass with a couple of dingleberries maybe attached? Well, you're blowing him. You're blowing him. So it's your it's your mustache. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05I've heard they tickle.
SPEAKER_03Are you are you ticklish? I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Okay, so repeat the question.
SPEAKER_02Do three more hits of acid and visit a humane society. That's so brutal. I know. That's the point. Or suck a good-looking, hygienic, and physically sensitive man off to completion. Now you gotta think that you are in the humane society, you're gonna be sitting against a fucking cinder block wall, and you're gonna be hearing a bunch of just barking, a cacophony of fucking barking.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I think that would be I think that would turn into white noise after a while. I I don't see how, man. I mean, two hits of acid is the most I've ever done, so you're asking for double that. Yeah. It's a lot of dogs. I would start barking with them, yeah. Howling. I feel like you could probably figure out how to communicate with them. Probably. That's like those people that start feeling their pain. Oh my god, dude. Um That's like those people that uh gave acid to dolphins to try to communicate with them. They just started jacking the dolphins off. For sure. Why wouldn't you? It's a s it's a distraction to be horny. It takes away your ability to communicate.
SPEAKER_01That dolphin killed himself and she quit jerking him off, too.
SPEAKER_03How does a dolphin kill itself?
SPEAKER_04Hold its breath and just fucking swam down to the bottom.
SPEAKER_03Yep. Oh, he died. Somebody left.
SPEAKER_02They left and I think came back.
SPEAKER_03I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Um I don't know if it's picking it up if I even have to announce it. I'm not looking at it. Oh fuck. So yeah, what what are you doing? Uh what are you doing? Genius, would you rather that I thought of a few minutes ago? Isn't it a good one? I mean, do you consent for a few minutes ago?
SPEAKER_03It depends. So my answer depends on the answer to this next question. Sure. Jesse, do you consent?
unknownAbsolutely.
SPEAKER_01Oh no!
SPEAKER_03Alright, I guess I'm gonna go to the Humane Society. I don't like I don't like going there anyway, because it smells weird.
SPEAKER_02Dude, what you do is you go in, you'd say, I just want to chill with one of the dogs, and then you pick the fluffiest, dopest ass dog, and you sit with that dog and for your entire time. I'd be so scared. They come check on you and they're like, Do you do you need water or something? It's been 12 hours. Give me some water, but like get out of here also. How long do I have to stay? Uh let's say the whole trip. I mean, as long as the trip lasts, obviously.
SPEAKER_03Like, that's they're gonna be closed. I'm gonna be there while they're I can't even get out.
SPEAKER_02No, it's some it's like some bizarro world thing where it works out. Oh that's where you live, you fucking goon. Dude, this lighter is so sticky and I don't know why.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Yeah, I guess I'm just gonna hate my life for like 14 hours at a at a Humane Society. The honestly, the main problem is the sound and the smell. Yeah, I think it's a good thing. It's so much like uh sensory overload. I would fucking hate that. Terrible. Alright, my would you rather for you? Uh Jake, would you rather tug off everyone here into a ramakin and then use it as sour cream on one of Mark's delicious brisket tacos?
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Or have everyone here, you have to contact everyone preemptively, and they bring a week's worth of shit in a bag. And then you dump all of their shits into the bounce house around back, and then get naked and go roll around in it and leave it on and be naked until Sunday morning. It's very specific. It is very specific. I have a touched mind.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Definitely the second one. You wanna roll around in it? It's gonna be really gross, but it'll be better than eating that much cumb. That's a lot of cumb.
SPEAKER_03It's not that much.
SPEAKER_02I don't know how backed up these motherfuckers are, dude.
SPEAKER_03These dudes are everyone in here is gooning every day. Goner, gooner, gooner, gooner, gooner. But it'll give them a charge.
SPEAKER_02Knowing that they're coming into a taco that I'm gonna eat.
SPEAKER_03They're excited by that?
SPEAKER_02It'll make them real hot and violence.
SPEAKER_03You're making a lot of suppositions about our guests.
SPEAKER_02A lot of suppositions. Yeah. I'm saying that they will they will want to. They want you to suffer? Yes. You think everyone?
SPEAKER_03Do you think everyone's out to get you?
SPEAKER_02Here's the problem. Here's the thing. If I was in the situation, I'm looking at this through my life world lens, right? Okay. I fucking would have a problem. It would be, it would take me 17 minutes to come into a fucking vat that I know is gonna be poured into a taco that someone's gonna eat. It's gonna take me forever.
SPEAKER_00You already got a head start, though. I already came in everything I made off there.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_03That's so specific. But the other side of it too is like the deliciousness of the brisket is gonna cover up a lot of that jazz taste.
SPEAKER_02It's gonna help, but all these motherfuckers doing that at the same time, all in the same thing.
SPEAKER_03All around the same range.
SPEAKER_02If Josh arrives before this episode ends, he counts too, if you know? Yeah. If Tom arrives, same thing. So that's a that's two more specimens I have to think about, possibly. That's a good point.
SPEAKER_00I like that he added that in.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna go with the shit. Yeah? I'm gonna go with the shit.
SPEAKER_00I've been eating a lot of Taco Bell.
SPEAKER_02You got a lot of sand in your cum, is what you're saying. Get some of that Taco Bell lettuce.
SPEAKER_03You'll shit that cum out in no time.
SPEAKER_02It'll be actually slippery. I just roll in the cum and shit. Or fuck, roll in the shit and cum myself. So much shit and cum, I get it mixed up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the majority of the show anyway.
SPEAKER_02It's just shit and cum. So I yeah, I'm gonna go with the shit.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02I'll roll around in it. I'll be a villager or something. Hunter-gatherer.
SPEAKER_03A bad dog.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It'll be a bad dog. A bad pig. A good pig, I guess. Bad dog. Good pig, bad dog.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That that tracks. Alright. They leave tracks. Let's move on to the next segment. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Tyler's top ten last week.
SPEAKER_02It is, yeah. It's it's top five uh of each. Right. Should we go back and forth?
SPEAKER_03Oh, that would be fine.
SPEAKER_02You think? Yeah. I just thought of it. You could shut it, shoot it down.
SPEAKER_03We're doing uh we're is we're doing isms, so like we've been doing this shit for a long time. Probably too long. And uh Jake and I both have a lot of uh quirks and stuff that we say and do all the time. So we're doing our top five lists each of each other's isms.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'll go first.
SPEAKER_01Let's get it.
SPEAKER_03Number five on my top five list of Jake isms. Smoking too much weed and then going to the hospital.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's that happened once. Yeah. That did happen once.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's one of my favorite things that you've ever done. It's a terror, it was a terrible time. I don't recommend it. I don't like thinking. One star. I don't like it. When you bring it up.
SPEAKER_02One star. I don't rate it well. It sucks, especially when the Indian doctor is like, you should just stop smoking weed, man.
SPEAKER_03Damn.
SPEAKER_02That's the word. Being judged by an Indian guy. That's not what I meant. I was just painting a picture for everyone. He's like, I would just say stop smoking marijuana. That is hella nut pug.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_02Not good vibes. Daughter feather.
SPEAKER_05Did you think? Yeah, I thought it was a native doctor.
SPEAKER_02Don't smoke marijuana.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03He's a he's a medicine man. That's he called those medicine men. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I had my shaman. Yeah. Take the emergency. Yeah. Oh, something happened on the fights. A guy won a fight. It's too distracting. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. It's not. It looks like the same guy from earlier. It does. I wish he was Indian so we could bring him into the joke, but it's not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_03Another white guy with a jufro. I don't think there's any Indian UFC fighters. That was a good one, Tyler.
SPEAKER_00Strikes that was crazy.
SPEAKER_02Damn. I don't know if it's an ism if you've only done it once, but I did do that, so I guess valid. My number five is you say bud. Yeah. More than the average person. I do say bud. You throw it in there every so often. You say it like uh as uh facetiously and you say it illegitimately. Right. It's just a little seasoning.
SPEAKER_03It is. It's Michigan seasoning.
SPEAKER_02Uh it's northerner seasoning.
SPEAKER_03It comes out once in a while. Yeah. Bud.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What the fuck are you talking about, bud?
SPEAKER_02Exactly, dude. You're like one eighth Canadian. It's in there. It's in there a little.
SPEAKER_03Except I don't have any health care at all.
SPEAKER_01Except that part.
SPEAKER_03And the freedom. Right. Freedom is He punch the ref. Did you see that? He punched the ref. That's really sick. Alright, uh, number four. Jakeism. Yeah. This one's hella specific, but you do this all the time.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Oh yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_03I do. You do say that a lot. Yeah. And it's always very funny.
SPEAKER_02I give people their flowers when they're right. I like being right. When other people are right, I'm like Jake the Flower Boy. You fucking hit it. Jake's the flower boy, dude. I am. That's probably why that's my favorite Tyler album. Uh that's not even a joke. I just love Tyler the Creator. Tyler the Creator, no. Um that would be funny if your whole list was Tyler the Creator Isms. Like Tyler Isms, dude. Is that what you were thinking? Yeah, exactly. You were doing uh Jake Gyllenhaal isms, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly. See, that's the most famous Jake I could think of. My favorite is when he's upside down and he kisses that one girl in the movie. Love that.
SPEAKER_02What movie? Spider-Man. That was uh Tobey McGuire. That's what I meant.
SPEAKER_00Jake Gyllenhaal is mysterious.
SPEAKER_01I like that you're racist against white people, that they all blend together for you. That means you're truly not racist.
SPEAKER_02That means you're anti-racist. All bad actors look the same to me. My number four is when drunk, you push everything to the absolute limit. Oh, dude. Like when you're drunk, I have another related one later that's more specific and hits the nail more on the head. But this one is an it's almost honorable mention, but it was worth number four, I feel like. Okay. But you push it, you push the envelope. You get as offensive as you can in the company that you are mixed in. Oh, okay. So you like, that's your job, you feel like, when you're drunk, is to find the limit and get there as soon as you fucking can and keep it there. Keep the party at here. Yeah. Because, like, when you talk about when you're with your boss and shit, or when you talk about when you're with your girlfriend or whatever, I notice that you don't go as hard in the paint as you do when you're with me. Right. Or when you're at the fart party or whatever, but you go as hard in the paint as you possibly can. You do layups at the very least.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's just my sense of humor, I guess. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I had to I had to overexplain it.
SPEAKER_03No, that's a good point. Because I felt like it was a good one. When I get drunk, I do say a lot of crazy stuff. There's a related one later that's even better. Like when I said stay tuned. When I referred to women as the holes that I fuck.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Like that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yes. That was pretty wild. That is Chef's kiss. I was mad and I was yelling, and it just kind of it was an accident. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah, man. I dude, I I it's funny you mentioned girlfriend because I looked at Clay and I was like, I don't have a girlfriend. But uh I had coffee with a girl that I broke up with not that long ago. Yeah. She was asking me questions and stuff. Uh huh. And it just kind of like came out that I accidentally broke up with her. Like I didn't mean to.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It just happened. And she got mad when I said that. She said, You fucking accidentally broke up with me? I was like, Yeah, kinda. And she was like, I need to go outside. Got up and walked out. That's great.
SPEAKER_02That when you told me that, like, actually, I respect it. I respect it. No, it was like uh two weeks ago.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, we had sex the other day. I respect oh fuck, he's letting it all out. Most recently. I reeled her back in, dude. I said I accidentally put that video. Why don't you accidentally come over and let me come on your tummy?
SPEAKER_02I actually like the gills on that fish. I was gonna say lips, but that doesn't pertain.
SPEAKER_03You know, it was catch and release at first, but then I went back to the pond and saw, you know, if I could chum the waters a bit. The ass pro shots. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh number fireworks.
SPEAKER_02That's either a shooting, a shitty car backfiring, or fireworks. I think it was probably fireworks.
SPEAKER_03We got some bottle rockets.
SPEAKER_02But I thought of three examples. Isn't that cool that I did them?
SPEAKER_03Are you AI? Give me credit.
SPEAKER_02Uh that's what ChatGPT would say. I expected a chuckle or two just for the list.
SPEAKER_03I wonder what it would be like if I replaced you with ChatGPT. The same.
SPEAKER_02If you just study me for a month, a month's worth of podcasts, you've had everything. I think so. You'd have the nut cracked.
SPEAKER_03There's a lot of uh there's a lot of material to work with out there.
SPEAKER_02Did anyone else forget they did acid? I forgot. That's not a good thing to remind people of. I forgot 10 minutes ago. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. I forgot 10 minutes ago, dog. Dude, it's been 10 minutes. I forgot, and I was like, oh yeah. That's it. That's coursing through my system currently. It's working its way through it. I there's something happening. It could be placebo, it is, most likely, but there's something happening.
SPEAKER_00You're okay. Oh, there's a little something wrong.
SPEAKER_02Hey, Civil War reenactment out there. Where's the slaves? Josh isn't here yet.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. What the fuck? You said you like opened the window. I had to jump through it. He would think it was funny, right, Jesse?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he's Nicaraguan. It doesn't even apply to him. Where's my nick bar at?
SPEAKER_01He would be like, ha, I'm the closest.
SPEAKER_03That's why you picked me. Josh knows he's my my my number one Nick gar. No, dude, Josh knows he's the man. Alright, number three. One of my favorite things that you do, one of the things that always cracks me up after the fact. Let's get it. Laughing 30 seconds after you're too stoned to get it right away.
SPEAKER_02That's gonna happen tonight like 74 times.
SPEAKER_03I'll fucking drop a zinger on his ass and then I'll just stare at him and he'll still be talking. Right. And he'll look over at me and process what I said and then die laughing.
SPEAKER_02Dude, it's happened back and forth over the years for sure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You said it's mostly you. You said it gives me pause, and I said, and you're used to hands. And you were still talking over it. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I should have waited, but it wasn't happening. But if you wait, it doesn't matter. You know, they're not gonna get it because they forgot they said the thing.
SPEAKER_03I do like that you remember your jokes, and I don't. Yeah, there's like two or three things I've said in the past seven years I remember.
SPEAKER_02Dude, I remember the zingers like because there's so few, you know. Uh, number three for me is you go, ho, sometimes. I do. You do say that. I do say that. That is your exclamation. That is your go-to exclamation. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Ho! Yeah, dude, party over here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, dog.
SPEAKER_03Party over there. Yeah. Shaking hands in the air.
SPEAKER_02I'm sorry, there's no more content. Fucking dredge out of that.
SPEAKER_03But no, it's cool. We're we're at the top of the list now, so see, these are the best ones. Fuck yeah. Number two. Sure. Molesting kids. Yeah. That's my second favorite Jacobism, is that he's a child molester. Yeah, that's cool.
SPEAKER_02That's great since I'm in since since we're in a house that has a room that's pink and has fucking cute shit everywhere and K-pop demon hunters posters and shit.
SPEAKER_03That's where the girls you bring home sleep.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_05I wonder what was up with the Barbie doll's house outside.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, uh, yeah. They've got to get that. He keeps them here for a while. I did build that for a little girl. That's not He's gotta make them stick around. You know, when you start with he's a child molester, and then you hear all the stuff I've done for one child, it does seem like a lot.
SPEAKER_03It feels like a lot. When you know when she's the one, you know. How do you know, dude?
SPEAKER_02No, no, no, no. We're not actually we're not we're not really supposed to be joking about the child.
SPEAKER_03No, I wasn't I wasn't originally talking about that child. No, no, no, no. Talking about all your various girlfriends that you've met at the playground.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep it general.
SPEAKER_03And uh uh what's that club penguin?
SPEAKER_02Keep it at large. Yeah, yeah, I'm yeah, just like uh fucking Chris Delia was on that workaholics episode. Exactly. That's me, early day, dude. Beaver hole 69 type shit.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Uh your my number two for you is another short, sweet one that is simply I know the assignment. Word. Oh, dude. You say word all the fucking time. It's like uh skinny Pete's church on breaking bed.
SPEAKER_03I say it in text message, which tells you what a problem it is for me. Yep. I just say word to people.
SPEAKER_02Um that's how it was so easy for me to conjure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's my uh that's my one urbanism, really. Yep. I stick with it. Yep. Sometimes the blacks have it figured out and you just do what they do. Yep.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, dude. Stick with it because they're sick with it.
SPEAKER_03Exactly.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna keep going freestyling.
SPEAKER_03I want you to I want you to I want you to freestyle.
SPEAKER_01I wish I could. I wish I had that skill set, but I do not.
SPEAKER_02I wore Fubu as a 12-year-old. I thought that's what made it happen, but apparently not.
SPEAKER_03Dress the you gotta dress for the job you want.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. I thought that might make it happen, just kind of osmosis into me somehow.
SPEAKER_03That's why you got afro picks in your bathroom.
SPEAKER_02No, actually, those are not mine.
SPEAKER_03With black power fists on them.
SPEAKER_02That reminds me of the uh Jimmy Kimmel thing where he went in his wife's fucking uh cabinet underneath the sink in the bathroom and he found like black lady hair shit, and he's like, My wife's not even black.
SPEAKER_01What the fuck?
SPEAKER_02That's the last time I want to hear you talk about Jimmy Kimmel.
SPEAKER_01That's when he was sick, dude. That's when he was cool.
SPEAKER_03Oh right. When he was on the man show. Yeah. And he was like, women are pigs. When he was worth me. I heard that from this guy named Jake. All right, get it on there, right? Alright, uh, my number one favorite Jakeism of all time. Let's get it, dude. Did you guys know that I got number one in the world on the New York City level at Tony Oxbroskater 3 and 4 on the Switch? Today, dude. You brought it up at the beginning of this episode. Yeah. And you haven't been able to shut up about it since it happened.
SPEAKER_02Dude, are you number one at at something? At a given thing? Um If you were, you would talk about it. That day, anyway. I think I'm number one in some people's hearts. You're number one. You're number one at uh receiving my affection, I guess.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Uh yay, dude.
SPEAKER_02My number one. That's that's how I move on.
SPEAKER_03I probably I would say out of everyone in this room, I probably take the biggest, smelliest shits.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. Yeah. Probably.
SPEAKER_03I have to take one right now, and I'm thinking about tagging somebody in for me so I can go take a shit.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, really? That would that would be catastrophic. Don't do that.
SPEAKER_03I want to shit before I'm tripping too hard. It's a dude. Oh, okay. Shitting when you're tripping is such a fucking pain in the ass, dude. Alright.
SPEAKER_02Well pun, so intended. If we lose this momentum, I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_03One time I did an eighth of mushrooms, and I ate chicken wings that day and took a shit while I was tripping on mushrooms, and it felt like my asshole was disintegrating. That doesn't sound good. It felt like I had shit out like a bucket of sulfuric acid.
SPEAKER_02That doesn't sound epic.
SPEAKER_03And it was like it was like doing this. I don't know what the word is for this. It was like spreading my it was gaping me. It was a gape, for sure. Groundhogin?
SPEAKER_02You're a fucking ballhog, bro. Ground slogan, dog. You're a ball hog, bro. Big city ball hog over here. Not my number one. Is it's obvious to people who've listened to the show or heard our appearances on other shows. Number one. Oh no, I know what you're gonna say. I'm so mad about it. Related to number four, where when you're drunk, you push the envelope. This comes from the same place. Look, dude. Number one is making a joke about the elephant in the room. You don't act like it's not there, like most people. You walk up and show it your asshole. You like the elephant in the room, the thing you should not joke about. You try to find a way to joke about it in a way that the person is going to receive it well. And sometimes it fucking works. Sometimes the person respects you more for having taken the chance. Oh. And sometimes, like with a certain person who we went on their podcast, uh, they take it fucking horribly and they delete the episode, and we it never sees the light of day.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you're talking about when I was making fun of that guy for being on heroin? Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You brought up his kids?
SPEAKER_03No, I didn't! No, no. You did a whole thing.
SPEAKER_01It's a lot, if I remember right.
SPEAKER_03I didn't bring up his kids. You didn't at all? I don't think so. I think you did.
SPEAKER_02That doesn't sound like something I would do. I don't know if it doesn't. I thought for sure you thought you could get away with it.
SPEAKER_03Look, I feel okay, first of all, I feel bad that I mine were about you being a molester and kind of being annoying.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Because you glazed me up there at the end. I thought for sure your number one was going to be me saying the n-word for shock laughs.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. That I mean it kind of goes along with the stuff.
SPEAKER_03It does, it does sort of nine times out of ten, that line that I push right up against is the n-word. But it just depends. If we're in mixed company, then I just say half the n-word, because they're mixed.
SPEAKER_02You're the kind of guy who likes to, and I'm only saying this just to get it across, but like exactly the form that you say it. But like, you're the kind of guy that likes to get the word fag in around his liberal friends to like sneak it in. Yeah. You try to find a way to sneak it in. Yeah, I just ask him for a cigarette.
SPEAKER_03I just do that limp biscuit song. You know what they call never mind. I'm not gonna say that joke. That's horrible. I'm not gonna say that at all. I backed off. I will say I will say earlier I was thinking of jokes, and I uh was thinking about what happened. What would happen if the guy, you know the guy from Saw? Sure. Jigsaw?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I wondered what that move those movies would be like if he was black and called Nigsaw. And I thought all of his traps would be like, you know. Your EBT password doesn't work. I was thinking more like just just slavery.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03All of his traps would just be like, alright, now you're gonna put these chains on, you're gonna march out to this field. He's just well it it it's all white dudes that he's trapping and he's getting them back for slavery. It's kind of a it's kind of a redemption story for the blacks in that sense. I wrote down another one. Uh just leave it where you can use it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay, what's alright. It's your number one, right? No, my number one was the fucking New York City thing. You went first? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02How did that happen?
SPEAKER_03Didn't I go first with the first one? I don't know. Smoking too much weed and go to the ER. Oh yeah, you're right. Laughing 30 seconds after the joke, the New York City thing, and molesting kids.
SPEAKER_02Shit, never mind. How did that happen? I went first on Would You Rather. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention what happened.
SPEAKER_03We're drinking Bud Lights here today. I need you guys to save the tabs off of those Bud Lights. Because they're doing they're doing like a box tops for education thing.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_03But instead of buying scholarships, it's to uh buy bottom surgeries for trannies.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_03Bud Light's doing this cool promotion where they're supporting the trans community with the tabs off of the top of Bud Lights. Time to switch it to Delilah Mulvaney. Damn.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03I don't. Yeah, you do. We don't have anything else planned. Hey there, Delilah. Do you guys any of you guys have any would you rathers that you can do while I go take a shit?
SPEAKER_02That's actually a good idea. Basket? I know you got to do that. Anyone have a would you rather? Anyone have a fuck you piece of shit? Something that's pissed you off lately.
SPEAKER_03Any of our segments. You want to come over here and yell at Jake for a minute? Yeah. Nice.
SPEAKER_02Oh, let's let's document that. Oh my goodness, what's on TV right now?
SPEAKER_03Some hot bitches.
SPEAKER_02I don't let's smash right. No, I meant I'm good now. I meant Max Crosby. He's surely there. Just bring the no, just bring the mic over. Clay, you can listen. It's all good. It sounds different for sure.
SPEAKER_05Do I have to choke on it too?
SPEAKER_02No, I mean, right there's good.
SPEAKER_05Alright, Ronald.
SPEAKER_02You can de-thread it if you want to.
SPEAKER_05Jake, you're my fuck you, you piece of shit. Alright. Two fucking years. I've been waiting on this fucking hoodie. I had to drive to your fucking house. You did. How far away am I from home? I I drove five hours to get here. Oh my god. I'm eight hours away from home. You made me drive to your fucking house to get a goddamn hoodie.
SPEAKER_02Hey.
SPEAKER_05It's free.
SPEAKER_02I didn't get to any drug you want to do while you're here, though. You didn't end up getting a hoodie. But we never made some stickers. I don't know where you got the idea of a hoodie, because I would not have said we had hoodies, because I don't think we've ever had hoodies. But maybe I was stoned or drunk or something, and I was like, sure, man! And when I answered that, I don't know. But I do know that I lived at the apartment at the time. And uh I my life was d discombobulated compared to now, where I live in this house and everything's cool. Every time that I've come across, dude, what's crazy is if you look in that fucking cardboard box over there, there's one of each. Actually, it's upstairs. But there's one of each fucking sticker in that box, because that's what I was gonna send you, is two t-shirts and one of each sticker. And I put it in the box, and I fucking just was a lazy piece of shit. Yeah, I guess, if you want to be dramatic about it, but I I just forgot about the box. Left it, it sat on my kitchen table in the apartment with a bunch of other shit for so long, and it ended up upstairs, as you saw, along with all of the rest of the Jangle Sheet merch. And then I gave you uh all of the Jangle Sheet merch you could want. You can search through that. I can go upstairs again, probably wait till tomorrow morning, honestly. But uh I or maybe maybe right after we record this, and I can go upstairs again and try to find more shit. Uh I don't think there's much more shit, though. I think that's most of it. But you got you got as many buttons, as many shirts, and as many stickers as you could want. So at least there's that.
SPEAKER_05You can hear Span's new single, too.
SPEAKER_02If you have a we've all we've shouted it out. We've shouted it out, but uh on Spotify, fucking Gatekeeper. No, it's just hit it up.
SPEAKER_05Because it's free. That's another thing. You need to stop singing. It just sounds like Janglesheep. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Sorry. Sounds like the old Jangle Sheep songs that have that.
SPEAKER_05That's the only song that has singing in it, though.
unknownIsn't it?
SPEAKER_05One of them. On Gatekeeper, yeah. But I mean as far as singing.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you've listened to the Gatekeeper song? Yes. Marcus, hell yeah, dude. Thank you, man.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I've told you, I'm a big supporter. I came here looking for a hoodie.
SPEAKER_02Hell yeah. Well, I wish we had hoodies.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Or you're like, What shirts are you?
SPEAKER_02What? We have shirts. I have shirts. We we don't have any here. We don't have any gatekeepers.
SPEAKER_05You're the fucking drummer, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god, I just made that connection. My bad.
SPEAKER_02The guitar player's coming.
SPEAKER_05Oh, word.
SPEAKER_02And then the guitar player from Dr. Rendezvous that me and Tyler were in are is also coming.
SPEAKER_05Now that I'm like a piano player's right over there.
SPEAKER_02Keyboard player.
SPEAKER_05Now that I'm an unsolicited third party, the shit's fired. Tyler sounds crazy on there.
SPEAKER_02Right?
SPEAKER_05Bro, I d the only reason I knew is because uh Jake and Nick told me. Otherwise, I would not have guessed that was him at all.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, it's sick. He's he's uh he's I mean he started out pretty good. But to say he's come a long way is not uh wrong. But he started out pretty good. He started out sounding good. He just had to get like the technique of it down. And he sounded good in Dr. Rendezvous, but like he just like got everything fucking tight and it's sounding fucking great. He's he's hitting highs he's never hit before and shit. It's fucking awesome.
SPEAKER_05The fucking growls were crazy too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, dude, his lows are nuts. And we layered them at the end of that track. It's fucking sick. You guys should listen to it. It's uh it's called Succumb to the Shell. If we I know we touted it a while back, but why not? Why not fucking tell you to listen to it again? It's on fucking Spotify. And more to come. We're gonna record pretty soon. We got a little bit of money, we need a little more money. So listen to the song. So we'll get fucking pennies fucking coming in.
SPEAKER_05If you sold your fucking Django Sheet merch to the people that wanted it two years ago, you know, maybe you might have some.
SPEAKER_02Well now you have it for free for your gas money, and I'm sorry. My bad. I'm an idiot, and I uh I just was like in a just a state of no productivity, and uh just like the easiest shit I would be productive with, but like anything that took a trip somewhere I was just being a little bitch about, and it's totally my fault.
SPEAKER_05I guess it's fine.
SPEAKER_02And I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_05I love you, Jake.
SPEAKER_02I love you too, man. Thanks for coming. Fuck. Thanks everyone for coming. Who's here? We got a couple more people on the way. And uh we're on the way up right now, everyone who took something. There is uh there's more to be had as well. Uh anyone who wants to hit it up. As well as beer, as well as weed. Anyone who wants any of that. There's a bunch of uh fucking pre-rolls over there. If anyone wants to wanna light one of those up, Jesse. I'll take a hit of that. We got pre-rolls. Uh yeah, over there. Yeah, there's cones over there.
SPEAKER_05He wants a little bit of pre-major.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Alright, well, we're taking a little bit of a break. We'll be right back.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. I suppose. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so I think the last thing that they heard was, we'll be right back.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I think so.
SPEAKER_03And uh, I mean we are. We are. Technically. We're here. Maybe it's several days later, but maybe it's right. Back for them. Yeah. Uh so yeah, we started recording the live episode, and uh you heard it. You heard all the things that happened. And then I had to poop. And I was worried about shitting on acid. So I so I mid-episode went and pooped. It's not anything I ever do. Now, so what was supposed to happen, right? The thing that kind of threw a monkey wrench in the way the thing I had planned was that Marcus, one of the party event uh uh attendees, had some beef with you and he was gonna air it out on mic, and he was fucking retarded, and the second he walked in the door, he just started yelling at you without us recording at all. And you immediately was like, Oh yeah. And then just solved the problem right then and there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I did.
SPEAKER_03That all would have been way better for content. Yeah. But he's an idiot, and he fucked it up.
SPEAKER_02That's fine.
SPEAKER_03So that sucked for me.
SPEAKER_02I got to redeem myself sooner.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean the end result. At the end of the day was, you know, he got the stuff that he was expecting. Which good for you, fuckhead. Yeah. You know?
SPEAKER_02No, that's good. He sh he sh he deserved it. He deserved it two years earlier, but uh, you know I'm a lazy bitch and forgetful and all of it.
SPEAKER_03I'm right there with you. I was supposed to send a care package to Dildomaster Jake like several months ago. Yeah. And I totally forgot about it, and then he switched his prize to uh a prank phone call that he and I were planning. Uh and he hasn't followed up with me on, so I guess we're even.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we are. Yeah, we're both we're both forgetful. You know, I mean, if you guys would just tell more of your friends about the show and it was bigger, we probably wouldn't forget.
SPEAKER_03But uh That's so true. It's kind of your fault. We'd probably have a guy for that. We would.
SPEAKER_02We'd have an intern. We'd have an uh uh uh uh an FMA.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. We'd probably have Riley move up here and be our intern. And then we could throw shit at him. Yeah. That'd be really fun.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh well.
SPEAKER_02That would be fun.
SPEAKER_01That'd be great, dude.
SPEAKER_02That'd be awesome. We just make fun of him every podcast. That would be the in that would be the content of our show, would be making fun of Riley. We would just ask Riley how his week went at at the beginning of every show, and that would catapult every show into hilarity, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's kind of how we treat Andrew when he shows up. It is. We ask him what he's been up to, and then we just make fun of whatever he's been up to.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we need to find a local punching bag. Yeah. That's what we need. Someone who can be here every Wednesday, some loser who doesn't have anything going on anyway. You know, like us. Just uh who doesn't have anything going on Wednesday.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Who uh is uh who's like always stepping in it. Yeah, who's unintentionally funny, yeah, but even more so than me, and maybe even so dumb that he doesn't realize we're like ragging on him. Right. He's just like, oh man, yeah. Oh, I did do that. Oh crap, I did that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um and we can just back him into a corner every every time he brings anything up. We act like we didn't really understand what he said, and he was actually saying something really racist or misogynistic or whatever, and he has to defend himself.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like an Adam Eagot. I can't wait.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Can't wait until that thing that we're not gonna do happens.
SPEAKER_03I can't wait till this fantasy comes to fruition. That's not we don't even have to win the lottery for this one. No, we just need like 10,000 more listeners. Yeah, we just need a guy. Just need a guy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If the guy's dumb enough, he'll do it for free. Right. We just gotta find that for exposure. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02He'll get we'll be like, dude, 200 people will hear your voice at like that every week. And if it's good, even more people will hear it. So no pressure.
SPEAKER_03But at all.
SPEAKER_02The success and the longevity of our show and hinges entirely on you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, uh, so anyway, what happened was I went poop. Yeah, I took a shit, I came back, and I just like did a quick once around the room and saw that it seemed like everyone was kind of over it. Yeah. Over the live show thing. And we didn't pre quite prepare as much material as we intended to. No. We were caught up in the preparations for everything else and distracted a lot by uh what was going on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And and to be fair, the uh it seemed like there was gonna be more uh attendance from out of town, yeah, from the kind of folks that would get up to the hijinks that we were planning. Yeah. And then once it became clear that the only people showing up were like responsible, normal adults for the most part, except except for uh Marcus. Yeah. Uh although way more uh responsible and uh uh normal than I would have given him credit for before meeting him. Uh yeah, they didn't show up. So we were like, that really kind of throws a wrench in the gears of our plan. So we we had this big illustrious plan that we kept secret and we kept hinting at week by week because it was gonna be sick. I guess we could reveal it now.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we should. Yeah, the plan was uh Jake had like a half a ham roast in the freezer, and we were gonna defrost that and take like a paring knife and carve an intricate vagina into it, complete with a nice gaping hole and everything. Right. And then we went to Walmart and we bought like some some pepperonis, like full sausage wrapped in plastic pepperonis, and we were gonna hide them in a bunch of places, and uh there was three of them, and the first person to find one and insert it into the hand vagina got first place, second, third, etc. Yeah, and we had prizes and everything planned, and we were gonna like have somebody follow everybody around with a phone, and like there was a lot of planning that went behind it that just didn't happen.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, it kind of took the wind out of our sails when we expected more out-of-town people. Everyone that showed up is a bro, and we appreciate it, yeah, obviously. And it was I mean, even having said that about the attendance or whatever, it sounds like I'm being a little bitch about it. It sounds like I'm being an asshole, but I'm really not. Dude, what a fucking shindig.
SPEAKER_03Oh, dude, we had like holy fucking shit. Even with only like eight or nine people here, we had a fucking blast, dude.
SPEAKER_02Dude, I haven't cried laughing so much in such a short span of time, like since probably the last time I did acid. Right. Yeah, like dude, dude, we had several there were several times. Gut busters, everyone within earshot of whatever was said, fucking just close their eyes for 30 seconds laughing. It was such a good time. We had a hell of a fucking time.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I f I mean it's a bummer that we didn't have more out of town people because it's like sharing that experience with them is what's fun. Exactly. Like, even without them here, we had a fucking blast. Yeah. Like, even just like the four of us that were on acid, yeah, had a fucking amazing time. Yeah. Um, and even like just messing around with the people that weren't on acid was fun too. Yeah. Uh like Marcus falling asleep every 30 minutes somewhere different. Yeah. And waking him up with a joint in his face, and he just he wakes up, hits it, and then goes right back to sleep like a like a grandpa taking a sip out of a fucking uh spittoon thingy, you know, those uh whiskey jar thingies. Yeah. That's what that reminded me of.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Similar, similar deal.
SPEAKER_03Waking him up like a dog with a pepperoni, and he just eats it and then goes back to sleep.
SPEAKER_02I knew a dude he who has since died of uh drug overdose. It's really sad. But uh I knew him when he was 19, and I was like, oh, I was 19 as well. And I think I said that last time I told this story. And uh uh quickly, he uh fucking fell asleep with a with a lit joint in his mouth. It went out like halfway. Yeah. He woke up in the middle of the night and like found the joint in his mouth, smoked the rest of it, and then fucking went right back to sleep. It's awesome. Legendary move.
SPEAKER_03Awesome stuff.
SPEAKER_02Which I'd imagine Marcus has done based on his behavior at the fart bar.
SPEAKER_03It was so funny too, because he like messed with me. He's like, I won't be doing any drugs. I'll I'll have a couple of beers, but I'm not gonna do any drugs. I was like, all right, whatever, dude. Whatever's your you know thing. Yeah, and he gets here and immediately just starts fucking ripping doobies left and right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. That's all he did, but yeah, he did. He ripped some Jays.
SPEAKER_03I thought you said you weren't gonna do drugs. He's like, this doesn't count, it's legal. Not here, dog. Not here, dude. What? Where are you from, Marcus? Yeah, I think he said I don't think it's legal in Oklahoma either.
SPEAKER_02Uh it's legal around there, but not in Oklahoma.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. He was like, Don't worry about it. I got fake piss. I was like, okay, cool. Sick. Sure thing, dude. Sick. Uh, but yeah, it was a it was a fucking blast, you know.
SPEAKER_02Dude, it was so fucking fun. It was as as much fun as I assumed it would be, you know, just like paling around with the dudes. We we played more video games this time, which I mean that was when Marcus first fell asleep, so maybe maybe boring to everyone else, but uh, we seem to be having a good time, and uh we lost every single match we played. I won a solo blitz match, first match out. Oh, yeah, and then every other match attempted on Fortnite, we lost.
SPEAKER_03I forgot we played Fortnite, me, you and J.
SPEAKER_02For like an hour, dude. We played for so long. I mean, everything feels way longer when you are an acid, but still it felt like a long fucking time.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, we just kept getting second place over and over again.
SPEAKER_02Dude, and and it when it was me surviving and I lost it for us, I felt so bad. It's like, God, we could stop playing anytime. Yeah, because it the other thing was the rain. That was the the other like major like event that that kind of changed the course of the night.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because we were outside, then it fucking fucking torrentially down poured. Yeah, me and Tyler got soaking wet to try to save some of the shit outside and move shit around in a in a I don't know, uh, a way that would help us later, I guess. I don't remember exactly what we were doing out there.
SPEAKER_03The main concern was that the uh the blower on the bounce house was still plugged in.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, that's what it was.
SPEAKER_03And I was afraid it was gonna get waterlogged and blow the fucking circuit breaker and shit. Right. So we ran out there and unplugged it and hid the freaking blower part under the canopy. And I can't I think there was one other thing we grabbed, maybe like cigarettes or something. That's what it was.
SPEAKER_02It was cigarettes.
SPEAKER_03Yep, yep. Uh, and then it like this the rain went away, and we got the got the bounce house blown back up, and then it started to rain again, and me and Jesse stayed out there. Yeah, and we were like, ah, it's barely raining. Yeah, and it just kept picking up and getting heavier and heavier, and we were sitting on the slide part of the bounce house yelling like English uh soldiers, hold, hold steady men.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, little rain can't tamper our resolve, perseverance and prayer.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I was sitting underneath the canopy with Marcus that entire time. He's asleep. I'm just chilling, while listening to you guys. Well, at first I took a piss under the tree, and then I came and joined Marcus.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And uh you guys were still going on and on. I remember thinking it was like damn near 2 a.m. at that point. Yeah, and I remember thinking, like, man, I hope my neighbors are asleep. Because this is, I mean, I haven't been worried about the noise a single well, when you guys were blasting the music, I was a little weird about it. I was like, man, I just don't want the cops to show up right now, man. But uh, it was mostly just my paranoia, obviously.
SPEAKER_03But uh the music was never all that loud outside.
SPEAKER_02No, but it was like you're competing with the blower. So I'm wondering how loud all of it is to an outsider, you know, when they step out their back door or whatever. But again, it's me being paranoid, nothing happened. It was fine.
SPEAKER_03I kept turning like Jesse was holding the speaker, and I was holding my phone like kind of hidden on my chest, but like with my hand over it, and I kept you were like, Can you turn that down a little bit? And I looked over at Jesse and he was looking at the speaker, and I turned it down, and he's like, Oh, I got it. And then I just cranked it right back up, and I just kept going up and down with it, and he was like, I don't know what's happening.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I I caught on once, like right before he said, I don't know what's happening. I caught on that you were just fucking with me. Uh, dude, we were it was such a fucking legendary time. Always is. Every fart party always is. Yeah, but uh Jesse, dude. I knew obviously you know a dude, the dude's a trooper, like you know, but like when you see it firsthand, like, god damn, this motherfucker still parties, he still gets down. Like, like, and I didn't know this until, and we're not saying any last names or anything, so I don't feel like I'm doxing him or anything, but we were outside as you had already gone in, you were soaking wet, and you came in. Yeah, and he was still soaking wet standing outside. He had just found my phone, which was on the fucking ground. Oh no, it fell off the bounce house, got completely drenched in fucking rain. Somehow still works. Can't explain it, still works. He was like, You might want to put that in rice. I was like, uh, nah, I'm good. I'll just we'll it works. We'll see. We'll make sure, you know, it'll be fine.
SPEAKER_03Should have been like, why? Because it's Chinese.
SPEAKER_02I didn't put it in front of a fucking fan, nothing.
SPEAKER_03Chill out, lay down, Bino.
SPEAKER_02The grass is flat, lay down. And uh don't let evolution annoy us, dude. Uh so it's already annoying enough. So uh he picks up my phone and then he's like, uh, hey, how many hits did you do? And I was like, Oh, I just did the one, man. And he was like, Oh, well, I know Tyler probably did like two-ish. And I was like, What? And he was like, Yeah, he kept taking little pieces off of the plate. And I was like, What? And a little goblin dude. And I was like, What? How did I miss this like bizarro collection plate like thing that you did, which I did notice it was like we were, I think I said it. It's like we're passing around the collection plate of acid, but uh except you take instead of give. Yeah, uh, and this isn't church, but uh then apparently when you got the plate, you took one and then you took a bunch more, I guess.
SPEAKER_03So I took the one full one while we were you know passing it around, and then somebody put it back on the pool table and it was just sitting over there. Uh and every time I walked by the pool table, I'd lick my finger and I'd put it down on the plate and grab a because you had taken some scissors and you cut one full one up into a bunch of pieces.
SPEAKER_02I was trying to help uh our buddy out. Yeah. Because you were you were peer pressuring him, and I was like, man, he's not even gonna do a half. Like, I'm gonna have to cut it into tiny pieces, and then maybe he'll pick one of those tiny little pieces off to say he did it, and you know what I mean, to get the placebo or whatever. Sure, but he wasn't about it. No, which is fine, whatever. I respect it. I I was I wasn't gonna pressure him, but I thought maybe this would be the thing that got him over the edge of like being worried about it.
SPEAKER_03Fuck it, let's see what happens.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. And it didn't, but it's fine. It gave you uh an excuse to just grab a whole nother piece, basically, piece by piece.
SPEAKER_03Every time I walk by, just lick finger, dip, suck it down, dude. Nice. So by the end of the, I don't know, probably like 1 a.m. or so, the plate had nothing but full pieces left.
SPEAKER_02Nice.
SPEAKER_03I even remember one piece got stuck to my arm. There was like a tiny little green dot on my arm. Yeah, and uh it was like one maybe one thirty, and I looked down and I saw it, and I just licked it off my arm.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03It was great, it was really good acid, man.
SPEAKER_02Dude, it's so good. And I have so much more of it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely down to do that again sometime, even if it's just a couple of us just hanging out. Right, yeah, because it's I mean, so it's one of those things where it was a really solid, mellow trip of like clean acid. I've had dirty acid before with a bunch of contamination bullshit in it, and it was real like staticky and felt real fucking herky jerky. Some extra weirdness, yeah. And this was very smooth, like chill. But the thing about it was it lasted for fucking ever. So, like, I mean, there was a bunch of other stuff that happened. We'll talk more about like the specifics on the Patreon. Um but dude, the fucking 5 a.m. rolls around. You had like I think you had went to bed on your on your bed.
SPEAKER_02It was almost it was 5 30 when I went. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Pretty close, yeah. Marcus fell asleep in your seat, and I was sitting here, like, watching TV or whatever, kind of drifting off a little bit, and I sort of started to fall asleep, but I just couldn't I couldn't sleep in this like upright position. So I grabbed all the blankets off this couch. I noticed that. And I fucking bundled one up into a pillow and then covered up with the other two and fell asleep on the floor for roughly an hour, maybe half an hour, and then I was like stiff as a fucking board. So I went and tried to lay on the couch and fall asleep. I noticed that. That's what I noticed. Yeah. I tried the the little chase thing first. And I was like feeder on the ground. Yeah. I was just about to fall asleep and I heard somebody come in and go to the bathroom, and I was like, there's no way I'm gonna be able to sleep on this thing. So I switched over to the couch. That was Marcus. Yeah. He mentioned it the next day. He was like, dude, you were fucking moving around all over the place. I was like, I couldn't find a comfortable place to sleep. So I tried to sleep on the couch, and then I remembered why I couldn't sleep on that couch when I lived here for a few weeks. It's just it's not like a sleep-on type of couch, it's very like rigid, and you don't really sink into it when you lay on it because you're like too spread out. Yeah. And it just wasn't working. And uh I just said fuck it and stayed up. And then oh, I laid there for a while.
SPEAKER_02Still tripping.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. But not like you're you're past the peak, yeah, but you're still feeling it.
SPEAKER_02For sure. Okay, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh I was yeah, I mean, I wasn't rolling hard, but there wasn't an obvious peak, by the way.
SPEAKER_02No, it just it was just on after like an hour and a half, it was fully on, it felt like, yeah, and it stayed there for like five hours or something for four or five hours. I didn't start like really coming down until we were watching Ross Creations at like 3 30 or 4. Yeah. That's when it finally was like, okay, this is I can sit still and chill.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I mean, that's that's like ten hours later. Because we took it at like seven.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, almost ten hours, yeah. Nine or ten hours, yeah. And then so like eight hours of trip. Easily, eight or nine hours of of like actually being rip. Like like you're like reality's a little different. It's not I didn't get any visuals. Like, I got a little bit of the pattern thing where you're looking at leaves or whatever, you know, yeah, across a background or whatever. But like I got a little bit of that, but I didn't get obviously tracers, isn't that common with acid anyway, but I didn't get like tracers, I didn't get anything.
SPEAKER_03I got a little bit of tracers, and I got like the extra smooth edges thing.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you got two, you took two hits.
SPEAKER_03I did, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So my hands were looking like cartoony and stuff. Uh that's why it lasted longer for you too. For sure. Yeah, yeah. Uh, and then I mean, like when we were staring at the stars and shit, they kept looking like they were chasing each other around. Like, not like moving crazy, but like there were two stars that were like kind of close together, and it looked like they were go they were one they were going in one direction, and then you look away for a second, look back, and it's like they're going the other direction, and like the one that was chasing the others now chasing the you know the first one. Right. And that was pretty cool. At no point did it feel like any type of like anxiety inducing or like no come up that was rough or anything, it was just very smooth.
SPEAKER_02It was awesome. But then how do you how okay? Well, yeah, you're probably gonna get there. Sorry. Yeah, keep going. Well, I was just gonna I'll let you keep going and then I'll say, we'll see if my experience matches yours.
SPEAKER_03Right. Well, I laid around for a while and I just I couldn't sleep, so I was just kind of hanging out or whatever. Yeah. And then uh I got up to come in here and check on him, and you woke up. So then uh we fucking started cleaning up and we cleaned everything up as you know, pretty much 99% of the way. It seemed like everything was pretty much taken care of. And then uh I went home and I was like, all right, maybe now I'll have like a comfortable couch or bed to lay on and I'll fall asleep. So I laid on the couch for a while, and I was just kind of like decompressing and shit. And about 20 minutes into me sitting there alone, I realized, oh no, I'm like still, I'm tripping kind of hard still. I was still like pretty deep in it. I couldn't like sit still.
SPEAKER_02Stuff was like 15 hours later. Yeah, well, the two hits is what did it, yeah, for sure. And and like the protracted way you took them. Yeah, you took little one eighth hits, one tenth hits. What like how many times did you do that?
SPEAKER_03At least six or seven times.
SPEAKER_02Damn, dude. So you're like so up until 1:30. Yeah, so you're right now you're talking about what eleven thirty a.m.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, around then around then.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so that's 10 hours later. So yeah, that kind of does make sense.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And the two hits being in your system at the same time, I'm sure that does something. Like it it like extends the period of time. Obviously, it does. That evidently would make perfect sense. Yeah. So you know what did you do? Like, how do you I don't know, like, what do you do with your day when you've pulled an all-nighter, essentially, and I uh now you're at your house.
SPEAKER_03I tried to watch TV. I couldn't. Like nothing could hold my attention and distract me.
SPEAKER_02Um it really takes people being with you to be able to watch TV when you're that fucked up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's gotta be some sort of shared experience. Doing asset alone in general sucks. It does, yeah. It's too much energy. Uh
SPEAKER_02Um, so you have to have the stimulus of someone else.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. It got it's like everything needs to keep moving forward. Right. Or else like it feels weird and uncomfortable. Yeah. So I took a shower. I was thinking maybe like I'll get clean, I'll feel fresh, that'll feel nice, I'll stop feeling weird and wonky. And it was excruciating, dude. It was the worst shower ever. I fucking hated it.
SPEAKER_02You didn't jerk off?
SPEAKER_03I know. Damn. There's no way my dick would have worked at all. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, I get that.
SPEAKER_02Your brain is so far from that. But I did have the thought once, maybe a few. It was a few hours in. It was well in. Yeah. And I was like, man, I could fuck on this though. I did have that thought.
SPEAKER_03Every time I've tried, I've I've come up short. It just never works out. My dick feels weird. It doesn't get hard.
SPEAKER_02Your brain goes other places constantly.
SPEAKER_03It's way too distracting. And it's like, I don't know. You start to think about like melding with people and shit. Oh. It's crazy. For me at least. It's it's too weird. But I took a shower and it was it was rough, but I I got through it. And then I just started like trying to play Xbox. I hooked my Xbox up. Like wow. I needed a I needed like a a chore or like a project or something. So I started digging through boxes looking for all the stuff. I spent 30 minutes looking for the power brick for my Xbox. Guys, the Xbox One Series X or Series S does not have a power brick. The cable was plugged into the outlet and it was just dangling. And I looked for half an hour for the brick that never existed. And then it fucking occurred to me when I was looking at the hole and I looked at the cable and I was like, those are the same shape. So I plugged it in and turned it on, and I was like, hell yeah, dude. I got it fucking hooked up. Maybe I'll hop on and play like some fucking I don't know what. I don't even know what I have installed on here. So I turned it on and got it connected to the Wi-Fi, and then it was like, you have a 5.8 gigabit update, gigabyte update. I was like, oh man.
SPEAKER_02It's gonna take forever.
SPEAKER_03That work. So I started the update. And I mean, I have gigabit fiber, but over Wi-Fi it's it's like a third that speed. Right. I was getting like 200 megabits up and down, and I was like, fuck. So it was like 28 minutes or some shit. I was like, all right, well, now what? So I your computer, right? Nah, I finally I laid down in bed and I slept for like 45 minutes.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_03And I was like, oh, that was such a good nap. And I all by the way, uh fuck the food that Mark brought, the best it's ever been. Yeah. That was the best it's ever been. I think so too. And I ate so much of it throughout the night that I did not eat at all on Sunday. Really? Not one fucking time.
SPEAKER_02Wow. Um, I didn't eat much. I kept I wasn't that hungry.
SPEAKER_03I kept trying to drink Gatorade because I drank 20 some odd beers. Yeah. Throughout the Saturday, I drank at least And you just stayed up.
SPEAKER_02I drank at least through your hangover. That's that's why you were having a bad shower and everything.
SPEAKER_03That's why I feel like dog shit. And I couldn't drink the Gatorade because the tripping was making it do weird shit in my mouth. I could feel the electrolytes stinging me and stuff. Yeah. It was fucking shitty. So yeah, I slept for a little bit and then I got up and the Xbox was ready. So then I just spent no fucking exaggeration, two hours going through all the games on Xbox uh Game Pass. I I bought one of the $10 try me out one month Xbox Game Pass things online. Yeah, and I just scrolled through every single game, watched all the trailers, read about it, looked at the reviews. Cool. And then I remembered, oh shit, yeah, the they redid, they did like a remaster of Assassin's Creed Black Flag, and then I fucking waffled for like 45 minutes on whether I should buy it or not. Oh no. I read through probably 150 reviews. Oh my god. I just kept reading people's reviews, going, I don't know, man. And then one would be like, hell yeah. And I'm like, oh, maybe. And then another guy would be like, I don't know. And I'm like, yeah, me neither. And then I didn't buy it. I uh I just ended up downloading a free game. This is the dumbest part. I downloaded a free game off of Game Pass called a game about digging holes. Because I had saw a Facebook reel of this guy that played a game where he just picked up leaves, and I was like, man, he seems like he's having fun. So I got this one that's a game about digging holes, and you just you get a shovel and you start digging a hole and you find rocks and stuff and you sell them and you can make your shovel better. I played that for an hour and I was like, I can't do this. This is the gayest fucking thing I've ever done. So I stopped playing that. Okay. And then I uh I just turned the Xbox off. I was like, I can't focus on anything right now. Um, and then by that time it was like two or three, and then I was like, I'm starting to like ease off, like it was fading a little bit. I was like not really high anymore, I was just like a little wonky, so I just went and started like playing RuneScape and shit, watched uh a couple of YouTube videos, and I don't know. I just the rest of the day kind of I don't remember, but uh just dumb shit. And then finally at like 2 a.m. I finally like went to sleep sleep and I slept until like 11 o'clock.
SPEAKER_02Oh nice.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. It was I mean, I didn't feel anything else on Monday. I was so fucked, dude. I was so happy when I realized I took Monday off too. Yeah, I was like, oh my god. Me too.
SPEAKER_02When I when I knew I just had to do a half day, that was nice.
SPEAKER_03I was so happy I didn't have to fucking go in on Monday.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you with this shit. I know now it's gotta be two days off. I gotta do it on Friday right after work if I'm gonna fucking do it on a weekend. Or just take Monday off randomly. Yeah, do it a Sunday on a Saturday. But it's uh it hit me hard too, but I only took the one hit. So my Sunday was not completely fucked. Like we not that yours was, but you know what I mean. Well, you were asleep for a lot of it, so yeah, I can't. My Sunday was totally. Never mind. Never mind. I take my retraction back. Uh no, we just I just hung out. They got here. Uh I well, I had to like sweep and mop and do the dishes. Yeah, those were the big things that were left, but I was like, it's my house. That's what I should do. You know, like this is you know, I'm I shouldn't even ask anybody to help because I you know, who I thought I was like, I'll have plenty of time.
SPEAKER_03Dude, I was so gonna offer to help like the deeper cleanup shit, but the fucking arduous journey of packing up that bounce house and giving it to my truck, yeah, it took every bit of energy I had left out of me.
SPEAKER_02I was like, oh bro, you should have asked me to take it.
SPEAKER_03Dude, it was like a hundred degrees outside and it was heavy, and I had to load it into a box and carry it and open like three doors. Yeah, I had to pop my tailgate and all this shit and lug it up in there. And by the time I got done, I was sweating like a pig, and I was like, I can't breathe. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I was doing some other shit. I can't remember, but then you said you had done that. I was like, Are you kidding, dude? You should have asked me to take half, dude.
SPEAKER_03I figured you were busy doing other shit, so I was like, I mean I was less. I would have stopped.
SPEAKER_02I would have stopped to help.
SPEAKER_03It would have just been too less efficient, so I just plugged away.
SPEAKER_02Well, I did the uh I just did the I started on the floor and uh and then fucking Mark finally got back to us. So I was I was messaging him.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_02He fucking Discord, like, hey dog.
SPEAKER_03He left at like 2 30 or 3 a.m. and said, uh, I'll get back. I'll I'll oh if one of you guys could pick me up, uh my checkout time's at 11 tomorrow and bring me back here to my car. And we were like, sure thing.
SPEAKER_02And he said, I might get a ride. I don't know. Yeah. And then so I was like, I'm gonna need to message him tomorrow. I I clocked it right then. I was like, I can't, you know, I can't leave him hanging. Yeah. So I did, and then it was like uh 11. He hadn't messaged back. 11 30, he hasn't messaged back. Or maybe by then he had.
SPEAKER_03But I no, because it was When did you leave? It was like 11:30 when I left.
SPEAKER_02Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it wasn't too long after that that he did message, 1215-ish or something.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was like 12:30 when you messaged me. I'm going to pick him up.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. And uh, and I I went, got him, uh, brought him back. He had to uh rock the seat back, like as far as it would go in my tiny little fiesta. Yeah, he's a tall guy. Yeah, and uh he had to rock that back pretty good. And then when I put the kid in her fucking car seat yesterday, she was like, You need to move this. It's all up in my face. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it was all up on her knees and shit. But uh anyway, that was a funny thing. Uh so I got I uh brought him back to his car, tried to get everything done. I got like, I think I still had the dishes left when they showed up. I got the floors done, and then I had the dishes, and I I just did those real quick after they showed up. And then uh, and she got the dog, luckily. I didn't have to go across town and get the dog. Very nice. So I had time to do all the shit, you know. Yeah, uh, and then uh I did the fucking dishes, then I played Pocopia with the kid, fucking showed her what all I had made while she was gone on vacation. Uh and we watched some shit. I don't even remember what all now. Yeah. It's been a few days and I, you know, I was still coming off the fucking the shit at the time.
SPEAKER_03I finally did buy Black Flag, by the way, the remaster. I played it for a couple hours. It's it's better, but I'm gonna I'm hoping that they'll do like a hot fix on a couple of little annoying things pretty soon. But it's one of the best games ever made in my my catalog of game love. Nice. Get to be a pirate and an assassin is fucking sick as shit, dude. The boat combat's so good. It's just a great fucking game. I think it was worth buying again. Yeah. I played it for so many hours when it first came out, and now it's like next gen graphics and all the like modern combat and shit is updated.
SPEAKER_02Do they have it on PlayStation?
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah, it's it's cool. Ubisoft releases stuff on Xbox, PlayStation, and PC.
SPEAKER_02I assumed, but I know it was Assassin's Creed the fucking uh a PlayStation thing back in the day? Was it always out on PlayStation or was it X? I thought it was an Xbox exclusive back in the day, right?
SPEAKER_03It always came out on all three.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Huh. I just missed it then.
SPEAKER_03I think well, maybe the first one came out on Xbox 360 only, and it was like the one of the things they used to sell it. I can't remember now, but I know it's always been on PC because I played the original two on PC back in the day.
SPEAKER_02It makes me want to look it up, but it's fine. I don't have to. Yeah, I know there's a million of them because I always saw the commercials, but they never spoke to me.
SPEAKER_03They got worse over time. Black Flag was the last amazing one, and that's why, like, and it it's the most fun of all the Assassin's Creeds by far.
SPEAKER_02Um I think for the years I wasn't playing video games much. That's around the time when a lot of the games that uh you like and know about that I've never really done, that's when that shit was that was my heyday. The shit that was available to me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, the Assassin's Creed of the gaming game.
SPEAKER_03Assassin's Creed and Borderlands and Destiny, all the game, all my favorite games ever from that era. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh I just wasn't playing games. It's fair. I was playing guitar.
SPEAKER_03There was a in my fucking room, two or three years I didn't play video games at all. Like at all. And then you started playing Fortnite, and that brought me back to gaming.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Because I remembered like two or three years prior, we had played PUBG and it was really fun. Yeah. Um, but then I just stopped, like I was dating, you know who. Oh, right. I just stopped playing games. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But you know. Yeah, because you tested the waters playing games at times. Yeah, and tried to play Fortnite. It wasn't received well.
SPEAKER_03No, it was like very passive aggressively denied.
SPEAKER_02Someone might have been a brat at times.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, guys, can you imagine you're sitting on your couch on your fucking headset playing Fortnite with your friend, and your girlfriend's laying four inches from your head, scream singing songs like at the top of her lungs? Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't intentional at all. She never fucking did that until then.
SPEAKER_02Never. And it wasn't intentional.
SPEAKER_03And it was and never did it again after that because I stopped playing games with you after that. Fucking shithead. But hey, you know. Party was fun. It was a blast, dude. Definitely worth doing it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I'm not uh I'm not gonna say there's not gonna be another one. I just don't know if it'll be a fart party.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't know that I feel like part of the reason you know, everybody had their own reasons of the ones that we expected to come that didn't. But I think a big part of it is that we're we're just getting too old for shit like that. Like the big hoop law house party, dozens of people there, type of shit. It's like it kind of dies out for most people in college, but our immaturity let it ride for a little longer than it should have, probably.
SPEAKER_02Well, it a lot of like creative types, it's like that. Like musicians and you know that's true. People who do like a creative thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, I can see I can see us doing it more in the music scene. Cause like you know, a lot of the bands, a lot of the bands that we play with party like us. Like obviously Jesse was there and he's part of the music scene, and Josh made an appearance. Yep. Um But yeah, I think stuff like that can definitely can definitely can definitely still happen.
SPEAKER_01Oh, damn.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Maybe parties where girls are allowed, there'll be a little bit more attendance and uh less animosity from certain people's girlfriends. That's another thing, is I think that uh all of our our pals have girlfriends that maybe didn't want them to go. Yeah. Like yeah, I don't want to get into people's personal lives, but we had a a friend that is like really far away that would have had to fly in, and like a couple of weeks before he was gonna buy his ticket, the girl he was dating broke up with him and kicked him out. So he's like living in his car and having having some troubles, so he wasn't able to make it, uh etc. etc. There's a couple of people I forgot to hit up, but I just assumed still listen to the show and had already heard about it.
SPEAKER_02Well, they haven't hadn't they're not hearing this either, so we don't have to apologize.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Fuck you, Dustin. But uh either way, it was a blast. I had a fucking great time. Uh we got really good acid out of it, which I'm stoked about. Yeah. Um that's about it, man.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I might do a little chunk here and there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Just a little.
SPEAKER_03I don't have that in me. It's a little hit skis. I if I'm gonna do it, it's gotta be like multiple people at least.
SPEAKER_02I just want to see.
SPEAKER_03You know if it's as good.
SPEAKER_02Well, just like no, no, I'm just gonna take a tiny piece, you know. Just to see enhances the, you know, you know, see how little I can get away with and it be like an enhancement of a buzz, you know. Sure. It's worth a shot. And it doesn't last that fucking long.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you if it's uh linear, then like a quarter of one should last like a couple of hours. Six hours at the very, very most, and then like completely fade away.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's yeah, yeah, right, right, right. Two hours of like two or three, I guess, of like peak, yeah. Where you're like really fucking on it.
SPEAKER_03It's definitely the best acid I've ever had. Like, I mean, I've had acid with way more visuals that that part of it was really fun, but the visuals aren't like really what I'm there for. It's the elevated everything else.
SPEAKER_02Dude, it's so nice with this, it's perfect with this.
SPEAKER_03It's everything I like about acid with just enough of the visual stuff to still be stimulating, where things are still more interesting looking and fun, but all the other like your thoughts going crazy places, thinking hilarious things, and like I mean, at one point I was outside, I forgot about this, and uh I was out there to piss or grab something or whatever, and I plopped down on the slide of the bounce house face first, and I was just like laying there, and I like folded my arms up and I put my face on my arms, and just like this is when when you're alone for a second and you're at the peak, like this is when the most crazy shit pops into your head, and I was just like, I had this thought that was like AIR is just an arrangement of molecules, and I just go out loud, I go, Nope. We're not thinking about that. So I just got the fuck up and came back inside, like, can't be alone right now. I'm gonna think a lot of crazy shit, dude. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02I did the same shit, but I I can't remember any of them now, but I I definitely had some of those moments. The second the word pissing outside.
SPEAKER_03I did a couple. The second the word molecules hit my head, I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. Dude, the way too deep.
SPEAKER_02The way the sky was lighting up, and I I was taking a piss. It was earlier in the night, it was probably like 10 or something, and I'm looking up at the sky with the fucking way that the uh the uh light there, the fucking goddamn it, the power lines, god damn. Yeah, I was like, there's an L in there. I can't uh what's the rest? Uh yeah, the fucking power lines are going. There's like two sets of them, two don't work, and but it it was it fucking framed the moment perfectly. And uh with the the background of the sky and then trees coming in that were that appeared black, you know. It was really nice. And uh I was like, man, I really need to get a picture of that. And then from there it went into like this whole universal thing of like, oh well, the stars are way out there, but like me seeing them from where I am, it's makes this perfect picture, but everything is so far away from each other to make this one thing, yeah. It all like, you know, the whole universe is one shit, yeah, all of that type of woo-woo bullshit. Uh, you know, uh those moments are where you get closest to it. Yeah, you don't have the distraction of everyone else, but that's also you try to avoid that shit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Not at all costs or anything, but like in general, I'm that's not what I'm trying to do with my night.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, I'm trying to have fun with the bros. I'm not trying to go out on some fucking journey or some stellar journey.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's interesting how that stuff happens because it's almost like acid forces you to only think about one thought at a time when you you can't keep other concepts in your head. We're like right now in the back of our heads, we're thinking about what we have to do tomorrow, and like I have to pee, and I'm sure you've got to use the bathroom, and you know, we're cognizant of the time and how we gotta wrap this up soon. None of that exists when you're on acid, you can only think about the one thought that's at the forefront of your mind, and that's all you can think about. Yeah, and I guess that in and of itself is a little bit scary because you can go so deep into that thought that it just feels like a bottomless pit. Yeah. But uh it's fun.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That's kind of what this episode turned into. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Pretty much. All I'm saying is you guys should all just do psychedelics once in a while. You should. It resets your brain. I was so calm. Yeah, like I mean, all of today and yesterday at work, I was just so chill. And uh it's pleasant, it's a pleasant, you know. The first day afterwards is a little bit drained, like your brain is so fucking devoid of uh chemicals that it needs from the overflow from the days before, but just chill, man. Yeah, resets a lot of stuff.
SPEAKER_02I felt myself being more patient. Uh not as quick to anger. Not quite as quick, but I think I need to do two or three hits to really fully get there, you know. Reach the zen state. Yeah, I need to wait a little bit and then take like two hits of it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We need to we need to catch Josh and Jesse on a night where neither one of them have anything to worry about. Yeah, pretty sure. And just all just blast the fuck off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the way to go.
SPEAKER_01Do a couple of things.
SPEAKER_03Jesse's so fucking fun, dude. Yeah, he's so fun to hang out with. But anyway, uh, to the people that did come, thank you. You're a pleasure. Mark, you're the fucking man. Those are the best the best goddamn ribs I've ever had in my life. Yep. The fucking pork belly burnt ends. What the fuck, dude? The tacos, the brisket, everything was just so goddamn good.
SPEAKER_02The conversating.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you were funny as hell. Fun as fuck to hang around with. Yep. Uh everything was just awesome. Yeah, we're pals, man. You are the man. Yep. We're gonna get out of here. Yep. We'll catch you next week. Boys and G's and L's and B's and T's and Q's and Ps. Lemon Squeeze. Pluses. No, you're not welcome.
unknownBye.
SPEAKER_02I fucking did it. I'm number one in the world. On one map on the most obscure console to play Tony Hawk's Bros Skater on, but still, I'm number one in the fucking world. Eat my dick. Fuck yeah.