This Curvy Girls Life Podcast

Living Your Best Single Girl Life

January 22, 2020 Jana'e Michelle Season 1 Episode 4
This Curvy Girls Life Podcast
Living Your Best Single Girl Life
Chapters
This Curvy Girls Life Podcast
Living Your Best Single Girl Life
Jan 22, 2020 Season 1 Episode 4
Jana'e Michelle

Get good at being single and live you best single girl life.
In today's episode, join Jana'e Michelle, host, blogger,  & entrepreneur as we discuss "Living your best single girl life".
If you're ready to live your best single life, Then this is the podcast for you!

Blog: www.ThisCurvyGirlsLife.com
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/c/JanaeMichelleThisCurvyGirlsLife
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/CurvyGirlsLife

Show Notes Transcript

Get good at being single and live you best single girl life.
In today's episode, join Jana'e Michelle, host, blogger,  & entrepreneur as we discuss "Living your best single girl life".
If you're ready to live your best single life, Then this is the podcast for you!

Blog: www.ThisCurvyGirlsLife.com
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/c/JanaeMichelleThisCurvyGirlsLife
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/CurvyGirlsLife

Speaker 1:

[inaudible].

Speaker 2:

Welcome to this curvy girls life podcast, a podcast designed to empower and encourage women to be the best and most authentic version of themselves. I am your host Jana'e Michelle, entrepreneur and blogger, and this curvy girl's life.com. Before we hop into today's episode, if you are enjoying what you are hearing so far, I would love for you to hop on over and subscribe and rate us on iTunes or whatever platform you're listening on. For more information on our blog podcast and for a free printable, be sure to visit us at this curvy girl's life.com. Now, let's hop into today's episode. Hello and welcome back to this girl's life podcast. I am your host Jana'eMichelle

Speaker 3:

topic is living your best single girl life. Yes, that's what we are talking about. You guys live in your best single girl life. So for those of you that, uh, may not follow me on my blog or my YouTube channel, which will be linked in the description box, um, I have talked about my journey. Um, being single. I actually have recently gone through a divorce and separation. Um, I was separated from my ex for about a little over four years. Then I just went on ahead and filed for divorce. And we have officially been divorced a little over a year now I think has been about a year and four months. So, um, during that time I chose not to date and I chose not to date for a reason. I knew I that I needed to heal because I didn't want to bring any baggage into a new relationship. Instead, I wanted to come into a relationship refreshed and, and, and new.

Speaker 3:

Um, I didn't want to carry any of the resentment or the heartache or the pain that I had during those, during that time that I was healing. Now, you know, I'll never be able to forget how I feel or change who I am. Like, you know, I am who I am. But what I did do during that time was I took the lessons that I learned during my marriage, during the separation and then during the divorce. And I made those kind of a priority, a priority to look at, investigate, um, learn from, grow from. And so with that, now I am ready to kind of step back out into that dating playing field. But the thing about being single is I absolutely love being single. Not, don't get me wrong. I love being in a relationship. I love a good Netflix and chill and I literally mean Netflix

Speaker 3:

and chill don't come from me y'all. Um, but I do enjoy being single because it allows me to kind of take care of me, get to know me a little bit better. So I do have a few points that we'll get into as we're talking. And um, yeah, so let's just hop right into this. So my first point that I wanted to make was when you are living your best single girl life, one of the best things you can do is practice self care. Now self care comes in many different forms. I want you to take care of your mental health. That's a, that's a way for you, um, to really take care of yourself. And I think our mental health is really, really important because during my separation and divorce, I went into a very deep depression and I went into a deep depression, not only because I was losing my relationship and someone who I knew I would be with for the rest of my life.

Speaker 3:

Um, but I also started to like gain weight, think negative thoughts. Like I was just really, really down on myself during that period. And so I had to take stock and I had to start doing things to really take care of my mental health. And for me that was a combination of things. I, I journaled, I talked to my friends, I talked to people. Um, I talked to my pastor, I talked to people who would kind of be able to allow me to vent. But then I chose people who I knew would be honest with me and be upfront with me and you know, show me my faults or show me, you know, where I could have done better. So that way I can learn from those situations. So taking care of your mental health is so important. And then just doing that self care thing during that thing where you know, you take those nice long bubble baths or you invest in a skin care routine or um, for me, I have natural hair, so like me sitting down and like doing my full natural hair routine is very similar to doing my skincare routine.

Speaker 3:

And what I love about that is it, it makes me feel good. It makes my skin look good, it makes my hair grow, it just, it does something for me and it's me just taking time just for me. So practicing self care can come in many different forms and you have to find that thing that works for you if that's quiet time, if that's walking along the beach, which for me was huge, especially during the time where I was trying to heal from that depression, going to the beach, it's kind of always been the place for me to just rejuvenate and be one with nature and have my conversations with God. So you do have to find those things that allow you to practice self care.

Speaker 3:

My next point is spend time with your support system. It is so important to surround yourself with positive people, the people who support you, who encourage you, but then who are not afraid to tell you when you're wrong or to kind of flip the mirror on you so you can really see yourself. Sometimes we we get so caught up in beating ourselves up or maybe feeling down because we are single or you know, maybe feeling like we have to get into a relationship because maybe everyone around us is getting in a relationship or we all had that time in that period in our lives where it seems like every single person around you is engaged, married or pregnant, and then you're like the single friend. We've all had that moment. You are not alone in that. But when you're going through that, when you're feeling that way, it is very, very important to surround yourself with amazing people.

Speaker 3:

And when you're surrounding yourself with these people, start to take stock of maybe some of the things that you'd like to do if that's going out to a jazz club or going to listen to poetry. Or for me, I love scary roller coaster ride. So if that's going to magic mountain for a day with your friends and just kind of just getting out of your comfort zone kind of getting out of your own mind, but it just allows you to be surrounded by people who are encouraging, who you can laugh with, who you can kind of just like let go of all the worries and all the insecurities and just be loved on. Because when you have a support system that just loves you and encourages you, you kind of forget that you're single, like it doesn't Dawn on you. Like I have such a strong support system and I have my support system.

Speaker 3:

I have married friends, I have friends who have been in longterm relationships. I have friends who are just now kind of like starting a relationship and I have single friends, but when we're around each other and we're just, we're giving off that positive energy, we're vibing, we're laughing, we're having a good time, we're engaging. It just takes you out of that feeling of maybe not being single and then that just allows you to live your best single life and you don't even realize it like, believe me, or surround yourself with people who love you and who will encourage you

Speaker 2:

like what you're hearing so far. Make sure you never miss an episode by clicking that subscribe button right now. This episode is made possible by listeners like you, so thank you so much for your support. Now that's good. Back to the show.

Speaker 3:

So next I want to say learn to love your relationship with yourself. Can you sit with yourself? And I mean without the TV, without your cell phone, without your laptop, without your iPad, without all the things that distract us. Can you sit with yourself? The thing that I love about this is for me, what I found is the way that I've learned to love myself and build a relationship with myself is through all of these different areas, through self care, through my support system, but also it's meditation for me, sitting quietly

Speaker 3:

and I allow my, I will do breathing exercises. I will have those moments where I kind of try to release anything that I'm thinking about and just focus on my breathing. But then there are times where I sit quietly and I allow my thoughts to be, and the reason I allow my thoughts to be because I want to get to know me. I want to know what is it that I really feel. What is it that I'm really thinking without reacting to society, without reacting to my friends and family or whatever it is. What is it that ne wants? What is it that Janae wants to do with her life? What is Jana'es purpose? What is Jana'es passions? And for me it is spending time with myself. So it's not only through meditation, but this can be those walks along the beach for me. Sometimes it's even just taking the dogs on like an extended walk where we just walk for a long time.

Speaker 3:

Now mind you, one of my daughters is about 10 years old. She don't like warm walks. But when I do that, I feel like one, the dollars get a great exercise and when they come home they are pooped. But that walks us, allows me to kind of clear my mind. It allows me to get to see nature. Even though I live in a metropolitan area, I still feel connected and I get to realize some of the things that I enjoy and the things that I love doing. And it's so amazing to me that we get the opportunity to,

Speaker 3:

to get to know our sales. Cause we rarely do that. If you think about it, you get to know everybody else around you. Yo, when you meet a new friend, you'll get to know everything about them. You'll get to know about characters on TV. You get to know about people who you probably don't even know on social media. You do all these things to get to know other people. But how often do you get to know you and be in a relationship where you are truly loving on yourself? So we have to find that time to love on our sales, to truly live our best single life. So now this next one

Speaker 3:

is talking about social media. So when we go on social media, the last thing we want to see is a freaking picture of anybody we may have dated or been in a relationship with in the past. Because then what happens is you get triggered. You want to know why aren't you in a relationship? Can you believe that this person found someone? And now I'm still single? Or you start to reminisce on your relationship with that person. And I figure if you're not together now, then it's probably for the best. So why are you thinking about it? So I say all that to do a social media purge and remove anybody who does not encourage you, inspire you, create passion, create productivity in you. Like if they're not adding to your life, then you need to remove them. There's definitely goes for any X's for any men you dated because right now you want to be encouraged and inspired by social media.

Speaker 3:

So one of the things I love about my social media pages, there are three things that I absolutely love. Business, makeup and fashion when it comes to social media. So when you open up my Instagram, you will probably come across business, fashion and beauty post pretty much. That's my whole, besides my friends and my family that I love. That's pretty much what you see. But those are the things that inspire me and encourage me to do more. And I see someone else doing something and I'm like, Oh. Then it, it clicked something where I then become like super creative and I know a good post or you know, I'll call up my friend who's a photographer and I say, Hey, I got this amazing idea and I really want to do this. You know, this photo shoot, can you help me? It just inspires me.

Speaker 3:

So I encourage you to truly live your best single girl life. Purge your social media of anything that is not bringing pure love and positive energies to you. Because what is the point to have in your social media, which is supposed to be a place for you to go on, like and comment and, and, and vibe off a different people in different creative sceneries and night. That's what social media is for. Social media is not for comparing yourself. It is not for looking up old X's and no, it is to be, you should leave your social media page inspired. So I encourage you to do a social media purge. Now this one is probably the biggest tip for me. It's not my last tip, but it is probably for me, my biggest tip. Start a gratitude journal. You're probably like, what does that have to do with being Cinco? It allows you to step out of the fact that you're single. When you start to focus on all of the blessings that's around you, your friends, your family. Maybe I should job. Maybe it's the fact that you went back to school, um, your, your pets, your, your home environment. I mean, sometimes I'm just grateful from a bed. It's so comfortable. Let me stop lying. I need a new mattress. But it's still my bed and I love it.

Speaker 3:

But you have to kind of take stock of the blessings that are right in front of you. Cause sometimes we tend to forget that, especially when we may be focused on the fact that our friends are dating or you know, our loved ones are getting married or whatever it is. And we kind of get back in our, in our feelings when we kind of remember like, Oh I am single. No, no, no, it's not a no. Yeah, you are single and you live in your best life. And in order to remember that you have to be grateful for every single thing that comes your way. And the great thing about that I love about a gratitude journal is it just opens your heart. And for me, I feel like when your heart is open, you are allowing the blessings to come to you. And part of those blessings could be that one, that one who's made and created for you, but only way for you to truly be able to accept that and feel that and and grow and nurse that relationship is you have to be grateful for everything that you have.

Speaker 3:

Not complaining, not bitter, but taking stock and looking around like wow, like there's someone out there right now who wishes they had a roof over their head. You have on right now, there is someone who wishes they had a phone to maybe call a loved one. You're probably listening to this podcast on your phone like you have to take stock about take stock of the things that you, that you have and the blessings that have been rained down upon you and that allows you to feel like this freedom and this overwhelming joy, which in turn allows you to live your best single life.

Speaker 4:

Now [inaudible]

Speaker 3:

this is my final point.

Speaker 3:

Stop putting a timeframe on your life and we all do this. By 25 I'm going to be married by 30 I'm going to have two kids. By 35 my business is going to be born by 40 I'm a ha. Okay. When that ha, when those things don't happen, then you start to like question yourself. You start to be like, Oh, okay, what am I, what am I? What am I not doing? What am, what am I filling it? Because that's what it feels like. It feels like you're failing at something when you put those timeframes on your life and then you're not. You don't meet those standards in your, in the standards that you had in your mind and you don't need it. You then start to feel like, Oh, I'm messing up. I'm not doing right. Stop doing that right now. This time is all about you.

Speaker 3:

So if you're single right now, this is your time. This is the opportunity to grow and this is also the opportunity to work through anything you need to. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm been single for quite a while, but I needed that time to be able to work through all of the baggage that I held on to. So now when I look back over my marriage, I'm not bitter. I'm not angry. It was supposed to happen the way that it happened. I love my ex, I pray and I hope that he is blessed and I pray and hope that he is happy and he has found exactly what he needs in life. And only way I was able to get there was I had to take that time, that five years and make it about me. I had to take that opportunity to grow and I definitely had to work through a lot.

Speaker 3:

And now I am living my best single life. I, I'm building a business, I'm building my brand. I'm seeing my friends and family more often. I am exercising. I am in the best shape that I've been in and about five. I'm not in the best shape of my life, but I bet I'm in the best shape that I've been in in probably the last 10 years. And I'm just getting better and I'm getting stronger and I'm progressing in so many ways and that's why I want to encourage you right now to live your best single life and use the things that we talked about today to help guide you, to help nourish you, to help grow you, to help give you what you need so that way you can feel what I feel right now, which is complete freedom, which is love, which is positive vibes, which is just just excitement for what's to come.

Speaker 3:

I have no timeframe or when I'll meet mr, right? I'm 42 years old. I don't have kids yet. Do I want to have kids? I would absolutely love to, but am I feeling pressured to? Am I feeling like, Oh my God, it's not going to happen? No, because I know that whenever is meant to happen, what happened in God's time, and right now today I am living the most amazing, the most fabulous, the most grand, the most exciting life that I've lived in a very, very long time. And it took healing. It took prayer, took meditation, and took me journaling. It took me spending time with my support system. It took me practicing self care. I definitely had to purge my social media and I stopped putting a timeframe on when things need to happen, which really allowed me to be free. So I really hope that these tips encourage you right now to go out and live your best single girl life. You are beautiful. You are smart, you are sexy, you have everything that you need to live a life of abundance and success. Everything that you need is already inside of you. All you have to do is tap into it and create that life cause you have that option. It's all yours. I appreciate you guys. I love you guys. Thank you so much for,

Speaker 2:

and I'll see you next week.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for joining us in this week's episode of this curvy girls life podcast. Make sure to visit us at our website at this curvy girls life, a.com where you could subscribe to the show in iTunes, Stitcher, or via R S S so you'll never miss an episode while you're at it. If you found value in today's show, we'd appreciate a rating on iTunes. Want more? Sign at www.thiscurvygirlslife.com for our monthly newsletter and our free printables. And don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Twitter at curvy girls life. Be sure to tune in next week for our next episode. Thank you guys so much for joining us today and beautiful people. Have a good one. See you next week, deuces. Bye.