Confident Parenting: A Journey to Eliminate 'Mom Guilt' by Uncovering Your Parenting Style w/ Alli Worthington

Being a mom in today’s world is tough. With social pressure leading to that dreaded mom guilt, the comparison we can encounter daily is stealing our happiness in our mothering roles.  Approaching motherhood with a preset idea of how parenting should look is taking our eyes off of our unique role as a mom and our own mental, spiritual, and physical health can suffer as a result. On top of comparison, we can easily lose our own unique identities while taking on our mothering roles, which can lead to yet more “mom guilt.” Our guest today, Alli Worthington, author of the book, Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood, is here to empower us to not abandon who we are as individuals when mothering our children. She is going to help us get back to a healthier “mom mindset,” so we can confidently parent without comparison.

Book: Remaining You While Raising Them
Website: alliworthington.com
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Transcript

Mentor Mama:  

I’m Mentor Mama and today we are going to be talking about discovering your parenting style to replace mom guilt with confident parenting. You know, being a mom in today's world is tough with social pressure leading to that dreaded mom guilt. The comparison that we encounter daily is stealing our happiness in our mothering roles and approaching motherhood with this preset idea of how parenting should look, is taking our eyes off our unique role as a mom and our own mental, spiritual, and physical health can suffer as a result. And on top of comparison, we can easily lose our own unique identities while taking on the role of mothering, which can lead to even more mom guilt. Well, our guest today, Alli Worthington, author of the book Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood, is here to empower us to not abandon who we are as individuals when mothering our children. She is going to help us get back to a healthier mom mindset so that we can confidently parent without comparison. 

Alli Worthington, known for her straight-talking encouragement in practical tools that help women reach their dreams in business and life, is the author of five books, including The Year of Living Happy, Fierce Faith, Breaking Busy, and her latest Remaining You While Raising Them. She is a speaker, podcaster, and life and business coach who launched Called Creatives, which is a cohort of women's speakers and writers. Her guilt-free take on business, family, and balance has led to multiple appearances on the Today Show and Good Morning America. Ali lives with her husband, Mark, and their five sons outside of Nashville with the only golden retriever who refuses to retrieve. Interesting, Alli. Please welcome, Alli. 

Alli Worthington: 

Thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm thrilled to be here. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yeah, I'm so excited to have you here because this is actually one of my very most favorite topics after being in a mom's group for over 20 years and having three kids of my own. It's very near and dear to my heart, so I'm so excited to talk to you about it. And I just had to laugh in your book when I read the quote that said, motherhood is like winning the lottery and working a nightmare job at the same time. It made me laugh. I mean, it is kind of such a joy, but it can be so hard.  

Alli Worthington:  

I remember feeling like I was all of a sudden the queen of England, but I had to spend all my time cleaning toilets. You know, like this is the most amazing thing in the world, but wow, this is really hard. Yeah. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yes, yeah, it can be so hard. And it seems like even too, when your kids get older, it doesn't get any easier. Well, you state in your new book that modern motherhood is broken. So, tell us a little bit about what you mean by that and how this has really impacted your life and the lives of other moms. 

Alli Worthington:  

Well, I think motherhood has always been difficult, of course, from the first mother. Motherhood has always been difficult. It is such a source of great joy and happiness and fulfillment for everyone who has the pleasure of being a mother or even being an aunt and filling that role. However, I think that it is so much harder for women in the past 10 years because of the internet, because of social media. So, I surveyed over a thousand women, this in-depth survey from podcast listeners and readers of my website, and said, what is the number one factor that causes mom guilt? They said they felt mom guilt. The women that felt mom guilt was over 96% of women, which is crazy, right? We're all suffering with it. But what's the number one factor? It wasn't us, it wasn't our spouse, it wasn't our friends, it was social media. 

Mentor Mama: Yeah. 

Alli Worthington:  

I couldn't believe it. Far and away it's social media. You're living your life. Your kids are probably being crazy. The house is messy because that's everyone's life. And you open up Instagram or TikTok, and it is video and picture after picture of people who are showing you perfection. Even though we know it's a highlight reel. 

There is something inside of us that goes, look at her and her family. They are all dressed alike. There are no wrinkles on the clothes and even the dog is smiling. Well, meanwhile, you have a teenager or a little kid having a tantrum and the dog has eaten a sock and is thrown up on the carpet. What happens as we go, oh, everybody else is getting it right and I'm not good enough. And so even though we know it's a highlight reel, this is a very dangerous thing in our hands, which I love. I'm on social media all the time, but it's a very dangerous thing in our hands that tricks us into thinking we're failing. So, we really have to curate our social media feeds well to keep ourselves from just getting constant messages that we're not doing things well enough. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yeah, absolutely. I know I had gone through a time where I was on Facebook more, and really every time I got off, I just felt worse. And so, I have really limited that experience. How would you suggest moms go about that process of, is it reducing time or platforms? Or what would your suggestion be? 

Alli Worthington:  

Well, sometimes it's reducing time, but for me, I started just changing who I was following. So, if there are people in my real life that if I unfollowed, it would cause problems, I would mute them so I don't see them. And then I would just remind myself for every week or so to go comment on things. But those things that even if it's someone in real life, and every time you see their post, it's triggering, just mute it so you don't have to see it. But also, I think it's important for us to have a conversation that there are entire businesses built around being a quote unquote influencer now. And the influencer, it can be a mom influencer, a parenting influencer, natural food, whatever it is. And with those accounts, they are, they have a great business sharing discount codes or outfit of the day or whatever that is. And I will, as a business coach, I will never say like people shouldn't have that business model. However, that business model tends to hurt other women. So, if anyone is following women who are projecting perfection all the time, even if every once in a while they have some helpful advice, just unfollow those accounts. Just go into your social media feed intentionally, pray through it. And when we find ourselves triggered by certain accounts, that's when we need to go, should I mute this? Should I unfollow this? 

I started doing this years ago where I follow friends, I follow colleagues, but I follow things that make me happy. I have like sloths and roller coasters and people making pottery and like tropical bird accounts and theme parks. I get all the Disney theme park feeds, but whether it's finding baby sloths in my feed or somebody who's teaching me something or a roller coaster account, none of those trigger me to think, boy, I'm a terrible mom. But a lot of quote unquote influencers accounts really do. And I think it's important that we talk about it. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yeah, that's such an excellent point. And what a great tip. I've actually done the same thing, too. I've really put things like my hobbies in there, like quilting and then crazy cat memes and stuff that make you laugh. So yeah, that's a really great tip. Well, you use the term in your book to describe motherhood burnout, the mother load. Tell us about what you mean by that. 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah, there's a term that many people have heard of. We're talking about it more and more in popular culture called mental load. And it's all the things that a woman takes care of during the day. So, it's, you know, have I taken care of my appointments? Has the dog gone to the vet? Has my husband been to get his annual physical and I got to get my mother-in-law present. And then it's national teacher day next week. All of these things that go through our heads all the time. And, you know, not to say anything bad about men, men just don't, they don't worry about the stuff. And they go, oh, the woman's going to take care of it, right? It's our mental load. It's the stress of everything going on in our brains. You combine that with being a mom and having kids, and I call it the mother load because it's just overwhelming. And I think that it's important for women to talk about it and for women to understand that it is good. 

and helpful and that we have permission to raise our hands and go, hey, I am not superhuman. The Lord did not call me to be superhuman. I know that for a fact. I need help with this thing. Or I need to share the load with my spouse or with family members or coworkers. And just giving ourselves permission and knowing that it's a good and positive things in our life to do that, that's a great step. One thing that we did with the new book, Remaining You While Raising Them, in the audible version, we did a whole big bonus section on mental load, and we even gave people language, gave them scripts on how to talk to their spouse or how to talk to other people to get the help they need. Because sometimes we know we need help with certain things, or we know we don't need to bear the responsibility of something all on our own, because that can cause resentment. But we don't know how to start that conversation in a way that will not cause a fight or to cause hard feelings. So, to just to give someone like, oh, here's how to identify what you need. Here's how to ask for it in a way that'll be really smooth and helpful. It'll give women the confidence to reduce some of that mental load or the mother load as I call it. 

Mentor Mama:  

Mm-hmm. How have you personally experienced the mother load? 

Alli Worthington: 

Oh gosh, I mean for years I think I was burned out because I have five boys. So, they were all of them there, you know, and the baby was one, the oldest was 10. So, it's just wild. And research even shows that women will not only take care of their husband's health or in their children's health, but their dog's vet appointments before we will take care of ourselves. I mean, it's what we do. We make sure everybody else is okay. And then we look around and go, why am I so angry all the time? Or why am I depressed? Or why do I feel kind of bitter or alone? And it comes from us not taking care of ourselves and just giving, giving. You know, the Lord says He will meet all of our needs, but sometimes what we don't realize there is that it is good and normal for us to have needs. So, we got to check in with ourselves and go, what are my needs in this situation? Needs aren't a sign of weakness. Needs are just a sign that I'm a person, just like anyone else. And for me, I realized that if I didn't take care of my emotional health, and I consider emotional health a combination of our spiritual health and mental health and relational health, our relationships with other people, I wasn't going to teach my boys how to treat women in a healthy way. Because I had a mentor say to me, your children will never be emotionally healthier while they're living with you than you are. And that's when I went, oh, the most loving thing I can do for my children and my future daughter-in-laws is to take care of myself just like I take care of them. That was the game changer that got me out of burnout because for so many, I would say most women who are mothers, we find ourselves really sacrificing ourselves and we do it from a place of love. And then to even think about taking care of ourselves again, it just feels overwhelming because we're so out of practice. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yes, yes. And I have heard that over and over and over again at our moms group, which is a church group that had met weekly and we did Bible studies together. But we talked about all of these types of things. And I can't tell you how people struggled to get there that one night a week, but how refreshed they felt when they were being fed spiritually fed and just taking the time, as you said, to take care of themselves. It makes a huge, huge difference for sure. 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah, I remember when I was a little girl, I was eight, and we went to my Aunt Shirley's for a special after Christmas celebration. And Aunt Shirley was so sweet and so loving, and she told us that she had cooked for three days. You couldn't have walked in that door and not known. And I didn't know at age eight what was wrong, but I knew something was wrong. She was smiling and she was saying all the right things.  

But I remember having a really bad time that day and going, whatever is going on here, I don't want to do this when I'm a grownup. And I didn't learn until after she passed that she actually hated hosting that and cooking everything herself. But she didn't feel like she had permission to raise her hand to go, hey, everybody bring a dish, or let's trade houses every year, right? She did all the work because she thought that was her role to her kids to be loving, to be a good mom, she had to do it all. But what happened is she ended up being kind of bitter about it and everybody felt it. And there's been so many times in my parenting journey, I've been like Aunt Shirley, where I've been bitter about, I'm doing all the right things. We're going to do a family devotional and I'm grumpy and I'm kind of bitter or we're going to go to the park today. And that has leaked out all over my family. And so, for me, I realized, and that was one of the drivers to write this book, for women to invest in ourselves, in our spiritual health, in our mental health, and our relationships with other people, our overall emotional health, the natural overflow of that is a happier, healthier family. 

And it's so counterintuitive with everything that we've been taught. And we think it's all sacrifice. But if it's all sacrifice, we can end up accidentally leaking bitterness out over everyone that we love so much. 

Mentor Mama:  

Mm-hmm. And I can completely relate to that. In fact, it's kind of like, you know, sometimes you just feel overwhelmed, like you said, trying to keep all the balls in the air. But then when you add like an event like that, like Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas, and all the preparation that goes into that on top of everything, I know for me, in some years, it has felt crushing. 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah. 

Mentor Mama:  

So, I think the older I've gotten, the more I have realized the importance of delegating and asking for help when you need it for sure. Well, Ali, this book that you came out with, Remaining You While Raising Them, it's not your typical parenting how-to book. Tell us how and why you structured your book differently. 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah, a couple of different reasons. I mentioned that survey earlier of over a thousand women and I asked them, what was the last book on motherhood you read? And most couldn't give me a book at all. They gave me parenting books, but something really surprising came out of that. Many of the women said, I wish I never read it or I couldn't get through it or I felt so shamed and like a failure as a mom from this that I wish I never read it. And I've kind of joked with people who, I said, if you have parenting book trauma, don't worry. This is not going to make you feel bad because there have been so many, I think, I'm sure they had good intentions, but here's what you do. Do this, do this. If you do this, you'll be a good mom and make sure you do everything right or your children's whole future is ruined. That it's just kind of destroyed a generation of women. And so, I think a parenting book isn't really what we need because every child needs the mechanics of parenting a little bit different. We have kids with special needs, we have kids who are extroverts, introverts. The most important thing that we can have is a healthy mindset and a healthy spiritual health and a healthy mental health. When we do those things, like I said, the natural overflow is we're going to be great moms. If we aren't doing well, we can do all the tactics all day long, but it's not going to give us the results that we want. So that's what I wanted to give women. I wanted to give women a permission slip and just freedom and a guilt-free guide to go, let's be who God created you to be because God has put you together with your child for a reason. He's not in heaven looking at Jesus going, oh, can you believe I gave her that child? It's just going to mess up that child forever. 

You know, it's by divine design and he has created our children then their DNA with what their personality is going to be and what their future is going to be. We can't thwart that. It is our job to be fully who we are and to enjoy that as we raise our kids. That's the magic formula for parenting. It's not a five-part plan for raising quote unquote perfect kids that we see all over the internet and when women kind of get guilted into reading. It's just kind of common sense. Let's take care of you. Let's have let's have you okay. And if you're okay, your kids are going to be okay. And I think it's a breath of fresh air. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yeah, it absolutely is. And I know that you did a great job in sort of debunking myths. Tell us a little bit about how that will help when moms read that section, how that will help them. 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah, I'll go over one that I really love to debunk. And there's a lot more to it than this, but it's the myth that good moms have kids who are well-behaved. And I remember two of my boys did something terrible when they were younger and I was commiserating with the moms and there was an older mom in the group and she said, you consider God your father, right? I said, well, yeah, of course. And she said, do you ever do anything wrong? And I said, I do stuff wrong all the time. Are you kidding? And she said, is God not a good father when do you do things wrong? And I said, well, no, of course not. It's because of me. God is perfect. You know, it's such a silly thought. And she said, then why in the world do you think that you're a bad mom if your kids misbehave? Your kids are just kids. And I went, oh, you're reminding me that I am not God. And it was just such a refreshing view that I got as a young mom that kids are just going to be kids. They're influenced by genetics and the environment and whatever mood they're in that day. And kids are going to do a lot of things wrong, whether it's a tantrum when they're two or lying when they're teenagers. And it's our job as parents to love them and discipline them and disciple them. But if we have this skewed perspective that I think culture puts on us, that every time our kids do something wrong, oh, we're terrible moms, it's a recipe for misery. So just that kind of myth. A couple of the other myths are that good moms can protect their children from pain, and good moms can do everything well. There are five different myths. But some myths that I think women are going to look at the book and go, well, no, that's absolutely true. But, It's fun to break it down and just to unlock a new freedom for women, whether they're raising toddlers or they have adult children. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yes, absolutely. And I really love that section because it reminds me of, you know, being in a group of moms and having a mentor mom. And that's what that mentor mom would be just like that person did in your life, right? You know, it's like having them right there, you know, when you're reading this and helping you understand, you know, how you are going to respond to these myths that you probably think are true and then reevaluating that and really the freedom that brings. 

Alli Worthington:  

Oh yeah, oh yeah, because once we realize the truth that God has completely ordained all of our children's days, every hair on our children's head is counted, we are not that child's mom by mistake, we are not going to mess up that child, God didn't make a mistake putting us together and nothing we can do is quote unquote going to ruin our child's life. We miss a family devotional, oh well they're off on a bad path. We feed them chicken nuggets one day, oh their health is terrible. With there's so much pressure on us and I think when that baby is tiny there's pressure on us for good reason because they're completely helpless and everything we do matters but as our children grow it's less our responsibility to do every single little thing and just kind of having that perspective of going, I'm partnering with God on raising this child. It is not all on my shoulders. My child is also affected by classmates and friends and the community and all the friends at church. That's a real freedom for mothers to be able to have that it's not all on our shoulders that God's with us in this. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yes. Amen to that. Well, that kind of leads into women sort of discovering and being okay with their own mothering style. How is this a game changer for moms? And how does it help with the mom guilt? 

Alli Worthington:   

Yeah, such a good question. It's kind of like I talked about before how God isn't in heaven going, I guess I messed up that child's life placing him with that mother, right? God knows what is happening and God put our families together for a reason. And I think this is where something like social media or comparison with other moms comes into play because for instance, my cousin, she's super outdoorsy. She's kayaking and hiking. And I don't want to be outdoors unless I'm at an amusement park. 

Like that's just not my thing. But if I convinced myself like, oh, good moms are always going on hikes every weekend, I would make myself miserable because I don't like that, right? If someone loves to garden or homestead and she's growing her own organic wheat in the backyard for sandwiches every day, she's a crunchy mom and good for her, that's great. But if I looked at that and was like, oh, I guess I'm messing everything up because I don't even grow tomatoes, then I would make myself miserable. 

So, for me, learning to lean into my strengths, like I love to go do fun stuff. I mentioned before I love roller coasters and fun things like that. That's the kind of fun I like to have. I'd love to go to movies with my kids. That's my thing. We try to find things where we can celebrate all the time. I'm not crafty, I'm not outdoorsy, I'm definitely no homesteader. But for all of us to go, what makes me me? What do I love to do? Am I crafty? Do I love to snuggle up and read? What lights us up? What do we enjoy as women? Once we realize that, we can lean into it instead of seeing the way other moms are living and going, oh, that must be the right way to live. Because again, we're placed with our children by divine design. It is enough for us to be naturally who we are and raise those kids, and the kids are going to be just fine for it. But if we're always looking at how other people do it, we won't be able to lean into that strength and that passion that God has already given us. So I'll ask you, what kind of mom were you? Were you outdoorsy or crafty? What was your thing? 

Mentor Mama:  

Oh, that's, you know what, that is such a great question because I felt the same way as you, but from the perspective of I struggled with being a good boy mom, so I have one son and two daughters. And for me, the daughter thing I thought in my own mind came easier because I had seen another mom who was a mom of boys and she was the same way as like what you were describing and that was back when I was on Facebook and she was going kayaking. She's such a great boy mom. And I kept thinking, oh gosh, I don't do that. Like I'm not like doing science experiments and I don't know. Like, it did kind of get to me, but I remember when I got a Mother's Day card from my son. And he had just written the most beautiful message. And it wasn't about what I did or didn't, you know, activities. It was my presence in his life. So, you know what I mean? Like, I think we're so hard on ourselves that it's good to really come to grips with that. 

Alli Worthington: 

Yeah, and that's it. The thing about motherhood that no one's ever talked about before is the magic of motherhood isn't in what we do as moms. It's who we are. And we can embrace who God created us to be to bring out the best and who God has created our children to be. It's not a do these 10 things to be a good mom and don't do this to be a good mom. It's going, oh, it's not about works.It's not about all these things that I have to do to be quote unquote good enough. It's being who God created me to be. That's a message of freedom for women. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yeah. Well, as we start to wrap things up here a little bit, I want to talk about the last third of your book, which is very practical on the habits that help moms the most. And I know you hinted at that one earlier, but what is your magic question habit? 

Alli Worthington:  

Okay, I love this one because this is something if women have kind of put their needs on the shelf and are like, wait a minute, I don't even know how to take care of myself. It's very simple. And I have a little pop-up on my phone that asked myself this question a couple of times a day. And it's this, what do I need right now? Because what I found from being a coach when you ask a woman, what do you need? The response is always, I have no idea. 

Like I haven't checked in with myself in ages. I couldn't tell you. But to change that to what do I need right now is pretty powerful. Because what we're doing is we were reminding ourselves I am a child of God and I am worthy of care. Just like anyone else is worthy of care. And that's an important lesson to teach our sons and teach our daughters. Because if more is caught than taught, we better give them something to catch. 

And we don't want our daughters to live a life where they don't take care of themselves. We don't want our sons to live a life where they don't take care. So we have to model that for them. So just that simple question of what do I need right now? It could be I need a glass of water or I need to use the bathroom by myself or I want a friend to come over and for us to let the kids play and we sit on the couch and talk or I need to get more sleep or whatever it is. I need a housekeeper. 

But just to get in the practice of checking in with ourselves and going, what do I need? Oh, I need some time alone with the Lord, or I need a cup of coffee. It allows us to mother ourselves just like we mother our children. And to raise kids who are healthy, spiritually and emotionally, and with their relationships, it takes a mother who's willing to mother herself, too. Just like you would give that child a hug and give them a snack when they're hungry, sometimes we need to give ourselves a hug and give ourselves a snack too. And it's not only good for us, it's such important modeling for our kids to see too. And I've had moms say to me, well, what if I start taking care of myself and I become a bad mom? Like I get selfish. It's a legitimate fear. And I had a lot of Christian therapists speak into this book because I didn't just want it to be my opinion, I wanted expert opinions too. And so I took it to them and said, that this is a concern for women. What do you say? And one of the therapists laughed and she said, I've never had a narcissist come into my office and say, can you help me for being a narcissist? Like they don't get help. And she said, anybody that reads this book is by default a great mom. Bad moms aren't interested in reading this book. So, a great mom that's picking up this book is probably over-functioning and doing so much and not taking care of herself, to just do a little less and take care of herself a little more, it's going to help her be an even better mom. It's impossible for a great mom who's devoted to her family to practice a little taking care of herself and then all of a sudden become bad. So I always use that analogy of a narcissist never goes into an office and says, can you help me stop being a narcissist? A bad mom's not going to read this book. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yeah, that makes so much sense. And I feel like with your question, what do I need right now, like one of the ways that can really help you discern that too is by asking yourself, what am I feeling right now? I think will help answer that question because I know at times I've felt, let's say anxiety and understanding then what do I need to not feel anxiety, right? Well, that's just so insightful. And I hope maybe some people listening to this might put that on their screens on their phone and just get that little reminder to take the time or maybe someone's listening today. And you know, you've been invited to go on a women's retreat or just out with friends. I take the time to do that because it's just, it's nourishing, it's so nourishing for your soul. I want to talk a little bit, Alli, about your parenting of five boys and being an entrepreneur and balancing motherhood when your career began, because I'm sure there's a lot of people here. We've got moms that are staying home with their kids and we have a lot of working moms as well. 

So, what does the balance look like? 

Alli Worthington:  

Well, I think balance is a bit of a silly word because to some degree in life, there's not a ton of balance, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. For me, I was a stay-home mom when my boys were little, but in 2008, my husband lost his job with the housing market crash. We lost our home. We lost almost everything we owned except what fit into two little storage units. My youngest baby was five weeks old when we lost our home. We had to go live with my grandfather and we would go to a McDonald's Playland every day, and the kids would play, and my husband would apply for jobs, and I would Google, how do you build a business on the internet? And once my husband got a job, I kept building. So, I started building my company in 2008, and 15 years later, I'm dedicated to helping women build businesses on the internet so they can stay home with their kids, if that's what they want, while they build companies. And there wasn't a lot of balance. I worked around the clock. My little one would come up to me in the living room some days and smack my laptop closed and go, no work, mommy. And I was always with them. And I had a ton of guilt for this that, you know, I would work in nap time and I would stay up late and I'd wake up early. And I had my laptop on playground sometimes. Like I was just, I was hustling in those early years to build. And if I had the financial privilege when they were little to stop, I probably would have told myself, like, oh, I'm being selfish. I shouldn't build this company. But it's the company that paid for their Christian school. And it's these things that took care of them. And my now 16-year-old was standing in my home office, maybe three years ago. He was 13. And he was talking to me about something. And he referred to me as a stay-home mom. And I said, you know, I traveled last weekend, because I had a speaking engagement, and you're standing in my office. Do you think I'm a stay-home mom? And he goes, yeah, you've always been there for us. And we talked to the other boys and all the boys felt the same way. And I realized I was so hard on myself for working when they were little, but it was always God's plan for me to do that. And God worked out all the details. Everybody's just fine. And I think as moms, we just, our default is always, I am going to ruin my children. I'm doing a terrible job. I'm not doing a good enough job. But it is a partnership raising these kids with us and the Lord and he works out the details. So, if anybody is listening and God has put a dream in your heart to write a book or to start a business or to do any of these things, pay attention to it, lean into it, pray into it. We live in an amazing time for women with opportunities to teach and to learn anything we want to learn and to build while we're raising our kids and it's an opportunity that my mom and my grandmother and my great grandmother. They just, it would have been so great for them. And if that's on anyone's heart, pray and lean into it and see what the Lord has for you. You won't mess up your kids, I promise. 

Mentor Mama:  

Yes, what a great suggestion. You know, I'm not even kidding when I say this. Last night, I went out to dinner with a friend and she said that exact thing to me where she just started working after spending time, you know, many years at home when her kids were little. And she goes, I feel so guilty now.  

So we did, we had a conversation about that because it's a very normal feeling to have. And I know people are going to be so encouraged when they read your book and you're going to take a big weight off of them. So, tell people how they can find out more information about you and your business and the book. 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah, I'm Alli Worthington everywhere. So allieworthington.com. I have a fun superpower quiz, a two minute quiz if anyone wants to take it. And my podcast is the Alli Worthington Show and Remaining You While Raising Them is everywhere. And like I said, the audible version has a bunch of free goodies in it. So, if anyone likes audio, I would go that route. 

Mentor Mama:  

Ooh, that's such a great tip. Okay, well, before we go, I want to ask you some of our favorite Bible study tool questions. What Bible is your go-to Bible and what translation is it? 

Alli Worthington:  

I have a study Bible that's the CSB. Yeah, I'm a big CSB fan. I also will have fun and dip into the Passion translation sometimes. I had some of the chapters, some books in the Bible mailed to me by a publishing company a few years ago that were the Passion translation. It's not a primary that you'd want to use. I have the CSB that I use, but it is fun to read through them in the Message or in the Passion translation. Just look at it in a new way. That's really fun. 

Mentor Mama: Agreed. Yes, great suggestions. Okay, do you have any favorite journaling supplies or anything that you like to use to enhance your Bible study experience? 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah, I go to Long Hollow Church in Hendersonville, Tennessee, and our pastor, Robbie Gallaty, came up with a reading plan and a journal that goes with it called the F-260 plan. And so, I use the F-260 plan and journal through verses and reflect on verses with that. Really highly recommended. I'm a little biased though, home church. 

Mentor Mama:  

So, we can put the link in our show notes. Can people get it even if they don't go to that church? 

Alli Worthington:  

Yeah, they can just Google F260. And the reading plan is online. And then you can buy the books everywhere too, the journals. 

Mentor Mama:  

Oh, all right. Awesome. Lastly, what is your favorite app or website for Bible study tools? 

Alli Worthington:  

I'm I am classic YouVersion. I Love the YouVersion. I you know how we're not supposed to just open our Bibles and go What do you have for me today? Lord? I use YouVersion in that way because there's always a video of a verse of the day that's on video and I'm always like What do you have for me? You know, let's go and it's just so fun to open up and hear insights from teachers about a different Verse every day. I love it 

Mentor Mama:  

Mm hmm. Awesome. Awesome app. Okay. Well, Alli, thank you so much for being here today to share your parenting insights with us. I truly appreciate, you know, just the encouragement that you bring and helping moms understand that they can do this with the help of God. And I really appreciate all that you're pouring into moms through this book. 

Alli Worthington:  

Oh, well thank you. Thanks for having me. This has been so fun. 

Mentor Mama:  

And for our listeners, be sure and pick up a copy of Alli's book, Remaining You While Raising Them. We will have the link in our show notes. Lastly, head over to the Coffee and Bible Time website for our prayer journals that will help guide and document your prayer life at coffeeandbibletime.com. Thank you so much for joining us on our podcast today. We love you all. Have a blessed day.