Fertility journeys can be similar in experience, but they are unique to everybody in terms of the emotions they experience, the support they have, and the narratives surrounding them. Beth Gulotta is a licensed Mental Health Counselor and the Owner and Founder of NYC Therapeutic Wellness. She holds a Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling from Manhattan College and has undergone extensive training in an outpatient setting, specializing in the treatment of individuals facing a wide range of social, emotional, and behavioral issues. Amongst other passions, she’s also the host of Quiet the Clock, a podcast that delves into topics such as fertility, egg freezing, and relationships. Join our conversation as we delve into who Beth is, processing and moving through unhelpful narratives, and why it’s a privilege to be part of someone’s fertility journey as a healthcare provider. Beth shares her own egg-freezing journey and the emotional challenges she faced, and she also highlights other emotions that surfaced throughout the journey. We dive into a discussion on building support around you, how you can set up your friends and family for success, and when a therapist becomes a key component. Tune in now to hear all this, and much more. Thanks for listening!
Fertility journeys can be similar in experience, but they are unique to everybody in terms of the emotions they experience, the support they have, and the narratives surrounding them. Beth Gulotta is a licensed Mental Health Counselor and the Owner and Founder of NYC Therapeutic Wellness. She holds a Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling from Manhattan College and has undergone extensive training in an outpatient setting, specializing in the treatment of individuals facing a wide range of social, emotional, and behavioral issues. Amongst other passions, she’s also the host of Quiet the Clock, a podcast that delves into topics such as fertility, egg freezing, and relationships. Join our conversation as we delve into who Beth is, processing and moving through unhelpful narratives, and why it’s a privilege to be part of someone’s fertility journey as a healthcare provider. Beth shares her own egg-freezing journey and the emotional challenges she faced, and she also highlights other emotions that surfaced throughout the journey. We dive into a discussion on building support around you, how you can set up your friends and family for success, and when a therapist becomes a key component. Tune in now to hear all this, and much more. Thanks for listening!
Hi everyone. We are Rina and Dara , and welcome to Fertility Ford . We are part of the wellness team at RMA of New York , a fertility clinic affiliated with Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. Our Fertility Ford Podcast brings together advice from medical professionals, mental health specialists, wellness experts, and patients because knowledge is power and you are your own best advocate.
Speaker 2:Beta is a licensed mental health counselor and owner and founder of NYC Therapeutic Wellness, located in New York City. She holds a master of science in mental health counseling from Manhattan College and has undergone extensive training in an outpatient setting, specializing in the treatment of individuals facing a wide range of social, emotional and behavioral issues. In addition to her professional accomplishments, Beth has developed a profound passion for assisting others on their therapeutic journeys, drawing from her own experiences of self-reflection and self-connection. She's also the host of Quiet The Clock, a captivating podcast that delves into topics such as fertility, egg freezing, and relationships. Beth's personal experience with egg freezing has led on a mission to empower women in discovering their own unique timelines. Beth, we're so excited for you to share so much of your personal and your professional experiences with us today. Thanks for being on.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you so much for having me . I know we've gone back and forth on scheduling, so I'm so glad that we're all together today and that we can have this conversation. I think all these conversations are so meaningful, important, so I'm grateful for this opportunity to be here. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Tell
Speaker 3:Us about you,
Speaker 1:Your work. Let's dive right in.
Speaker 3:Sure. A long , a kind of a long journey, but really I think a lot of the foundation of sort of who I am and where I am now is based in kind of really getting true to who I am and what I want. And that's, that journey started for me like 22, 23 when I, I left, I graduated from college. I moved to Europe for a year, and then I started working in finance. 'cause I really, there was no encouragement before then to figure out like, what do you like, what do you enjoy? And then I realized very quickly I did not enjoy that. And it's, it's kind of sparked this journey to find what I enjoy and a series of trial and error. And I think that without realizing it, it kind of lends a lot to the work I do now on the podcast and a lot of things that I talk about, which is honoring your own timeline, getting really clear and in tune with yourself and what you, what you want, and what you enjoy. And so through a series of different things and different masters and different jobs, I came to therapy and the clinical work I do now, and I, I did all my training at an outpatient clinic. I worked in a couple different private practices before starting my own. And I feel really grateful that I followed that path. I stayed really connected to what I would really enjoy doing, the type of work I would enjoy doing. But along the way, sort of having the narratives of I'm behind, I, you know, I, I watch friends and, and college classmates like really thrive in different careers because they just figured out sooner than I did. So I guess without realizing, and as I'm talking it now, it's really formulated a lot of the topics that I talk about on the podcast. And I think some of those narratives, while I continued the course and continued my journey of finding what I wanted to do, those narratives popped up of like, I'm so behind or comparing to other women. So who I am is now after hearing that long journey, is I am a therapist. I own a private practice in Midtown Manhattan. And less than a year ago, I, I started the podcast called Quiet the Clock, where we talk about a lot of these things and a lot of these narratives of feeling behind or running outta time or not hitting milestones when you know you're supposed to or other people are,
Speaker 2:Love the name. It's great. Thank
Speaker 3:You so much. Thank you.
Speaker 1:And I love the content, you know, as you're talking, I'm just thinking about my own self. And I actually had such a , um, that same thought about myself the other day when I found out two people very close to me in my life, were both on their second pregnancies. And I sort of thought to myself, huh, well I am so blessed to have one kid, but I'm still here, still renting my apartment. Like, what have I done? What am I doing ? And all of those sort of feelings came up. So, I don't know , as women, do they ever really,
Speaker 3:I don't think so. I don't think so. I think what, because I kind of in this very similar boat as you where I, I'm blessed to have a two and a half year old son who I love, but I, I would like a second. And I , when I see other people on their second pregnancy, I actually just journaled about this not too long ago. It's, I feel that come up less when I see people pregnant with their first, because I have that. But when I see people pregnant with their second, this env pops up, this comparison pops up and up . You know, I think you're right. I don't know if it ever goes away. And I think it's important to normalize that, that that's normal to feel that. But it's then how do we move through that and how do we process that? And how do we just speak to ourselves in a different way that moves us through those narratives that are maybe not helpful.
Speaker 2:You, I love what you said, move through it. Like, for me, that's like the perfect way as opposed to like, move past it. You gotta move through it to get somewhere else as opposed to just like divert and , and , and suppress move through it . Beautiful terminology.
Speaker 3:Oh, thank you. Yeah. I , I think that those narratives can get so harmful if we don't sort of give them the attention they deserve and sort of understand why that's coming up for us, or, you know, I talk a lot about with my clients, like those secondary emotions, right? So here's, I'm feeling this thing, I'm feeling the envy, but then I'm feeling like about feeling the envy, or I'm feeling like bad about myself for feeling guilty. And I think it could be like, okay, that's like a normal feeling. Let's look at that a little bit more. And then, yeah, how do we move through it and not let it weigh on us so much?
Speaker 1:Sure . And I don't, I don't know about you, but I feel like, I mean, I spend so much of my time with clients helping them with the same thing. It's like I'm so busy helping other people with it. I almost sometimes feel, I don't think imposter syndrome is the right word, but then I'm not then allowed to feel the way my clients are feeling because then like, who am I to help them ? But we're humans too. We have those same feelings, same vulnerabilities.
Speaker 3:Totally. And I think for me, the transition from outpatient to private practice was really interesting because the population and demographic I worked with in outpatient was very different, very mentally unwell and amazing work. And I, I loved working in that space, but then I found myself in private practice sitting across from, you know, women or even men where I was like, oh my God, I totally get that. Or Oh my God, I'm feeling that right now. Like, oh my God, I get you. You know? And so it was just a really interesting experience in a way to evolve as a clinician of like, okay, I'm human. I I've had that experience. And yeah, we're totally human. And I have, I don't know if this has happened for the two of you, but I've found myself in session being like, huh, I should probably listen to that advice. It's like, that's pretty good.
Speaker 2:I think as practitioners, and I can't speak for all, but what I would , my assumption is a lot of us go into this field for our own personal growth and healing. And I think by helping others, I don't think people realize it doesn't only just help them, it helps us. And in some ways I , I feel selfish, like the imposter syndrome. Like I think it's helping me more than it's helping them sometimes. And I think it's pretty, it's a remarkable thing that you can help get those reminders every single day practicing.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh gosh. I know I'm so grateful for, for the work. I'm so grateful for my clients. I actually just took a pretty big step back clinically, and I really do, you know, I, I, I miss it a lot because of that reason, because of the relationships I have with my clients and because of how much my clients have given to me. Yeah. So, yeah, I think I get so much out of it too . And like you said, to your point, maybe sometimes more, more than they do <laugh> ,
Speaker 1:I think it provides great perspective and I always feel so grateful someone's willing to spend their time, their money, their , um, precious selves, you know, with me. Yeah . And so I <crosstalk> hold that as such an honor and don't take that for granted.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah. I, I totally resonate with that. I feel the same way. I feel, I tell my clients all the time, like, I feel so honored that you let me be part of this journey. And before I, I terminated with, with my clients, you know, I'd worked with them for five or six years and that was a lot of the conversation of like, I'm honored to have been a part of your journey and to see all this growth and to be in your corner for all these things. Yeah. I think it's such a, it's such a privilege to be in that position because, you know, I, and I, I get to see, and you , you two as well, we get to see these parts of our clients that they probably don't reveal to just anybody or even anyone. I have clients where they're still outside of that space. There's still a lot of walls and you know, I'm always encouraging them to let people see these sides of you that I get to see every week.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And tell us too, I know similar to myself and Dara , you got into this work because of your own personal experience with fertility or trying to conceive. So maybe tell us a little bit about that too.
Speaker 3:Sure . I'm, I'm happy to. So I froze my eggs at 37 and when I, and I'm 42 now. And so when I froze my eggs at 37, I didn't really know, I think I knew one other person that had done it, and it felt really alone. It felt really isolating a range of emotions there. I think it's a process that confronts you fertility period in so many ways. And from that, since that experience at 37, I just, you know, it kind of opened my eyes up to that world and I think it just, I started hearing it more from other friends. I presented itself in therapy in sessions with my clients, and it just kind of, from every angle I was hearing more women speak about this, and it just prompted this idea of, you know, there needs to be more conversation around it. I didn't know it would end up being a podcast from that place. I just started talking to other women connecting with, I have other clinicians that work in my practice asking if any of their clients were going something similar and would be willing to talk to me. And they were just the most incredible and vulnerable and amazing conversations. And, you know, from that this podcast was born, I , I knew that I wanted there to be more conversation around, around like the egg freezing and the milestones and the comparison and all these things that we feel if we find ourselves later in our thirties not partnered up or not with a child yet. And it came to be a podcast, which has been such an incredible journey so far.
Speaker 2:Wow. It sounds like many different steps to get to this point. And it's interesting, it's , it's nice to see that through work, through your own personal experiences, through people around you who had different experiences, but still within the framework of, you know, whether it's fertility, egg freezing, or, you know, getting older to, to actually have those real conversations to help people behind you in many ways to Yeah . To help them on their path.
Speaker 3:Yeah. This idea of like paying it forward For sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So your own personal experience. So, you know, you said you started at the age of 37. Did it have many challenges along the way? Was it something, and also did you learn from it, which I'm sure you did <laugh> ?
Speaker 3:Yeah , I would have to say I, you know, the more I learn now, you know, since three seven I knew nothing. And, and knowing what I know now, I think I had a lot of, I did have a lot of success with my egg freezing, given my age. And you know, I, I don't talk about the numbers anymore because I know that comparison piece shows up, but I think it was harder emotionally for me than it was physically. And I'm not someone that likes needles at all, but I found myself really pleasantly surprised about how I handled sort of the physical piece of it, the emotional piece, not so well, I will say too, obviously the financial piece is a big part of this. And at the time I didn't have the funds to be doing it and I had to put it on a credit card and pay it off, you know, but, so that piece was a little challenging because I had to reconcile, do I put all this money out or to put myself essentially in debt to do this thing that could be really uncertain and I don't know, you know, what the outcome is gonna be. So that was a bit of a challenge and struggle for me too to like really kind of reconcile the worth, you know, is this worth it? Which is a huge, and like complex and multi-layered question, what that means, you know? And that's very individual, so I'd say more financially, but was a little bit of like figuring that out. And then, but emotionally for me it was, it was really tough because there were some really, I'll say not compassionate narratives around having to do that at 37 in a relationship. So that was really hard for me.
Speaker 1:I would say, I mean, two, two things. One is I think a lot of people struggle with what you're saying, the financial aspect in that idea of, you know, I , I get a lot of people that are very angry Mm-hmm . <affirmative> , if they have gone through a cycle , whatever it may be in the fertility realm, and they, they haven't gotten at the end what they feel like they purchased . So whether it's like a yield from egg freezing or a pregnancy or whatever, and they are so angry because they feel like, where did my money just go? And I think that's something that can be so frustrating in this, that idea, right? That I took this money and it's medicine, right. You know, sometimes we don't get our desired outcome. Maybe you need to do more than one. And I think that's super tough . And then I guess the other sort of follow up would be if you're comfortable sharing, because people can probably relate to any of those emotions that you were talking about around freezing eggs at 37 and kind of what came up for you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think anger is certainly one I felt both financially and emotionally, because, you know , the reason I froze at 37 was my partner and I were not aligning on timeline for children. And I just felt like in order to give myself the best options when we got there, I needed to do this. And the feeling of like, I have to do this made me angry and why I had to do it made me really angry. I felt really sad. I felt like I failed that I was 37 and like having to do this and having to like, I guess that's like the strongest narrative. Like, I have to do this. Like, I have no other, I don't have a choice here. But yeah, so I I , and I think for me also, the uncertainty of it was so hard, right? So I'm gonna put my body through this, I'm gonna go through this emotional rollercoaster, I'm gonna pay all this money and I still have no idea if it's even gonna be helpful to me. And that was really scary. I remember walking out of the clinic and when I first did my consultation and they show me the chart where it's like basically the stark decline of what is possible at 37. That was so discouraging. And I walked out really angry and frustrated and I said, screw this, what's the point? Why will I even do this? And eventually I processed that and came to like, I'd rather not regret this. I can't go back and change this if I say no to this right now. So that's essentially what helped me work through those emotions and those frustrations and that anger to say, okay, I'm gonna do this. But it was really hard for me. And I will say like after doing it, there was a sense of relief. I , but I think short term , because I'm still like, well , what are we doing? Am am I ever gonna be a mother? And so there, there still was a lot of emotional, you know, turmoil post freezing, but I did, it did give me a sense of relief to have done it.
Speaker 1:Sure. And I, I think those feelings, you know, you're saying that like you have to do something. I think that feeling of giving away your power and that you're not autonomous in this choice and that it's being made for you is so disheartening and so scary because it , it leaves you not feeling in control.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Would that have been different if maybe I did it in a different place at a , when I was younger? Sure. And I think I've spoken to a lot of women where they felt a lot of different emotions and they did feel like it was a proactive choice and they felt really empowered by it, you know? So I think that's really great too. And I think, you know , podcasts like these, and hopefully my podcast too, where we're cultivating more conversation, maybe it'll feel less like I have to, and like maybe for someone, and it's like I get to
Speaker 1:Beautifully sad . I think it can go either way. I , I think I see a lot of patients freezing eggs too . It, it leaves them feeling very empowered. Like, wow, as a woman, you know, I can preserve my fertility. I don't need a partner to have a child. It's my choice. This is what I'm gonna , and so that end of the spectrum where it is super empowering and then sort of the spectrum that you were kind of feeling, which is, you know, whether it's I'm doing it and I really want a partner and I don't have one, or I understand I need to preserve my fertility and time isn't on my side, whatever, you know, comes up. So I feel like it really sort of runs the gamut.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. And just normalizing all of it. And there , you know, and I think that's the thing that's, while it's a similar experience, it's unique to everybody in terms of what it feels like or what end of the spectrum they're on. Or if there's somewhere in the middle, like some days you feel empowered and some days you feel angry and it's just honoring everything that comes up while you're going through it.
Speaker 2:That's great. Making a good point of, of, you know, you may feel something one day, but it may totally be different down the road , um, and honoring it all no matter what.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it's great. Like we've had , I've had some really great women on who've shared their stories on social media and have been like really open and vulnerable in doing it. And I think they've done a great job of just showcasing that, that range of things or that shift from day to day . So I think it's helpful to have things out there and normalize that, that, you know, like you're gonna feel a range of things. You might feel this, you might feel that. And, and I think those type of, you know, stories and sharing helps normalize a lot.
Speaker 2:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , I would love for you to share, you know, your thoughts on having people around you who are good support systems, because I know you did mention your, your good friend who is there for you. Yeah. You can touch upon that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh my gosh, I'm happy to . I think the more support you can have in place, the better. And I think again, hopefully the intention of the podcast is just giving more voice to women that have gone through this so you don't feel alone. I definitely, at 37, only knowing one person did feel a little bit alone. I did have my girlfriend that went through it and she's been my rock through all of this, but I can't say enough how important that is. And I'll share kind of just very briefly, least recently where I'm at. Um, I, I did, I, we, I got pregnant actually with my son at 40. And so since then, we've taken the exit I've froze at, at 37 and we've made embryos and I did one round of IVF that did not work. And I don't know why, but for that round, I didn't share with a lot of people. I shared with my sister, I share obviously my partner, but I kept it very much to myself. And that was a huge, huge mistake. I think I got stuck around thinking about what it would feel like to share that it didn't work, which is what ended up happening. And when I found out it didn't work is when I started sharing and it felt so much better to share. And we're in our second round and I have, I have so much support in place and it's just changed the experience. So I think it's important, you know, whether it's egg freezing or IVF to think about who those people are and think about who will be your go-tos to like shoot the text, to get on the phone with say, you know, was this happening for you? This is happening for me . It's just so, so integral to making it a , a better experience because it is, it's so emotional and , and hard.
Speaker 1:Totally. And I , we say it on here all the time, but I mean, research backs that up. Research shows that people that don't share and go through this more alone have higher levels of anxiety and depression than those that do share.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I can <laugh> I can validate that because that was my experience when I, I did it. And I will say it was a real mistake not to
Speaker 1:Sure. And I think, you know, for anyone listening that now is feeling terrible because they feel like they don't have anyone to share with, I think it's important to like , you know, sharing can be with anyone, right? You could have a therapist, you could have parents, you could have friends, family, a partner, or you can go into support groups. There are so many communities now, I'll say some of the most common ones I refer to are Re-Scripted has a great community. Day one, fertility, the number one, and Emily gets the founder came on our podcast, wonderful. Community Conceive is a great community. Or we conceive the founder of that came on our podcast, Lauren Berson . Yeah . Resolve has support groups . So, and go back through our podcast because we have a bunch of, you know, wonderful women that have come on. So if you're feeling like, I don't even know who to share with you can make your own community, and I think that's a real silver lining of this process is, is finding support. So, and making new connections.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I will, I would say too, at least for myself, like what we were saying earlier about the pay it forward , I'm always happy. I, I think anyone that has been through this or has lived it all , I think, you know, you don't wanna overly generalize, but I think there is this real passion to share and to support and to help. Because if you haven't gone through it, you can support. I'm not saying that you can't, but there's really something to someone that has been through it. And so I, I love that there's so many more resources and groups and again, conversation and community. And I think there's a real like genuineness to women that are open to like be a support, even if it's not a best friend or there , there are women out there that wanna help and in support if you don't have someone in your immediate circle. For sure.
Speaker 2:And I'm gonna plug Rena , Rena wrote a phenomenal book, <laugh> , that really, like, I, after reading it, I was like, I wish I had a book like this to support me when I was going through my fertility struggles, giving me tools of how to speak to people around me, you know, other people in , you know, in , in my vicinity who were pregnant when I wasn't. So yes, I think having people, but also having other resources that can be a part of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a hundred percent . What I hear a lot too is friends wanting to know how to support friends that are going through this, whether they've had their own journey or not, or maybe they haven't. And I think there is again, this real desire to help and support and show up for your friends and just wanting to make sure what that looks like or, or the best way to do that.
Speaker 1:Totally. I go through that a lot with clients too , and we talk about how to set friends and family up for success and how to communicate with them what you need. Because a lot of times they don't know. And then they'll do something that will really upset a client. And then we talk about impact, first intention and how to set them up for success so that everyone's getting what they need.
Speaker 3:I love that. Yeah. I think that's such a important step of, let's say just specifically, well any fertility process, but like say if a woman's gonna go through egg freezing and we're just, we're rolling out a guide and, and one of the very first steps is like, put the support system in place, identifying who that is, whether like you said, like a therapist, a friend, or one of these amazing communities you just mentioned. But I also love what you just said about, you know, informing them what you need. And so I love that that in setting them up for success.
Speaker 1:Totally. And I , it happens all the time where I have people come to session and they'll say, Ugh , you know, one of my friends gave me this mug that said Mom on it and whatever, you know, flowery definition. And she said, you know, I know one day you'll need this. And I can't believe she did that. And I feel so horrible and you know, I sort of help people zoom out and say, okay, well let's talk about impact versus intent. It sounds like your friend was really trying to help you. It did hit the mark with you. This was very triggering for you. But let's look at this for the mindset shift and then figure out how can you go to your friend and let her know what do you need? Because we don't wanna blow up friendships, we don't wanna blow up relationships and we don't wanna be angry all the time. Right.
Speaker 3:The anger. Yeah. Yeah. So I , I was on in the car to my second transfer and my sister sends me a text, it's like, so and so is pregnant. And I was like, what? And she meant to send , the intention was like this idea of, you know, I don't know if you guys, the Gabby Bernstein like driftwood, like it's around you, it's coming to you. Like that was the intention, but I was like, don't think I wanna know this right now on my way to my , so I love that too, that the like kind of just really processing it , intention versus impact. The impact was not what she was going for, but yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1:Yeah. And what a great example. And I love too , that she was trying to like the driftwood, right? It's gonna, it's gonna be your time soon, which I think, so that's such a common way of trying to support someone, I think. And the same thing with the person that gifted my client the mug, right? Like, your time is coming soon, you know, soon you'll need this mug. But I think for when we're in it, a lot of times it just makes us feel like, okay, but I don't have it. Right? And then the fear of I don't have this, when am I getting it? And now this is making me feel so much pressure and fear and now I'm gonna be super angry at you.
Speaker 3:It just, so sometimes it can be so hard to hold onto that hope, you know, even, you know, when I was single, like, I'm never gonna meet anyone. And you really sit in that and you really feel that because you're just losing sort of hope because it hasn't happened yet and it's happened for everybody else and it's not happening for you. And so it's so hard again, with, well-intentioned people will say like, you're so amazing, you're gonna meet somebody. And you're like, yeah, but when, like, I'm still single and same. It's like, you know, wasn't a mom until 40. And so people are like, it's gonna happen. You'll be an amazing mom. But you can get really stuck in that like, hopelessness of it and like really losing sight of like, it will happen. You can, you can go into a place. And I did too of like, I don't think it's gonna ever happen for me.
Speaker 1:And I, I think too, it's important to note that this is when a therapist or someone is really important because your friends and family, they wanna make you feel better. Humans are very uncomfortable with uncomfortable emotions. And so your friends and family, they wanna make it better. They wanna fix it for you. They wanna do something to make you feel better and they wanna feel like they're doing that, but it's really, and it can be really hard to share those feelings, you know, with somebody like, I'm feeling hopeless, what if it's not gonna happen? Because a lot of times they don't know how to receive it because that makes 'em uncomfortable. And so that's when you know someone like a therapist who can really take the mindful time and hold space for those uncomfortable feelings and give you concrete tools with how to feel those can be really important.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I think for family members and friends, like they desire that so much for you, right? They just want you to be happy and they want you to have those things. And so they're trying to say all the right things. And sometimes again, it doesn't land the way they mean it, but I think when you really care about somebody, and same as a therapist, like I have such strong desires for all my clients to have the things that they really want, but I'm also helping them to navigate, you know, things like say it's a relationship, like attachment styles and patterns and all these things. So yeah, I think again, the intention of just, you want whoever it is, family, member, friend , to have all the things that, you know, will make them happy. But sometimes, like saying you'll have it one day is not the most helpful thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I, I think, you know, especially if you haven't been in, in , in that situation, but even if you have been in that situation, every situation is different. And I think it's, you know, we're we're raised to do unto others the way we, we would want things to be done as opposed to do unto others the way they would want things to be done. So again, it comes with a lot of good intentions. You would think, like if I was in a situation, this is what I think I would want, but guess what, you're not them. Right? And so just bringing on them is , you know , how, you know, what , what do you need from me? I wanna be here for you. How can I best be there for you? Which, and I think it's great to have the two of you because sometimes that person doesn't know what they want and you both can be there to help give them the confidence and the tools to actually dig deep to, to actually discover what they really want or what they really need.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, Reina's point, like the beauty of having a therapist if you have one or can have one and that's successful to you is yeah, just having that space to help process all those things. Because to your point, like sometimes we don't know, right? When we say set someone's up for success, we might not know what that means without some help in, in figuring that out.
Speaker 2:Totally.
Speaker 1:So any sort of advice or knowledge or insight that you wanna pass on to any of our listeners, either, you know, based on professional experience or personal experience?
Speaker 3:Oh , that's a good question. I think you don't have to be alone in things. I think that there are a lot of, especially now and especially related to egg freezing, there's so many amazing resources. There's so many people and women, I actually had an amazing conversation with a male therapist who is so, so passionate about the egg freezing and works with a lot of women that are going through egg freezing. So I think there are a lot of, again, there's more conversation, there's more attention to this. I think you don't have to be alone in it. I think there are a lot of, again, people sharing on social media that's like normalizing in the range of emotions or physical symptoms or things, you know, I just think seeking out the resources through there is so helpful. I think being mindful of our narratives is really helpful because we can be so mean to ourselves and they can be so damaging. And I appreciate sort of you too , saying how you like the name and it was really born out of like bringing together all these narratives that I've said to myself or other clients have said to themselves about, you know , wasting time, running out of time, being left behind. So I would say be really mindful of the narratives and how you're talking to yourself about where you are or where you are not, because it could really shift a lot of the ways you kind of move through things.
Speaker 2:O that resonates with me. I know with Rena , I mean, I'm, I'm thinking the whole time I'm like, ooh , four agreements, this is all four agreements. Being mindful with your words and not taking anything personally, not making assumptions on like, this is all <laugh> the four agreements for, I mean we've spoken about it a lot, Rina and myself, but it's like you're hitting every single point.
Speaker 3:And that's not to say any of those things are easy. So I think being compassionate with yourself is so important too. Right? So there might be a day where you're like, you can't get out of your narratives and maybe you just kind of like sit with them and process and not beat yourself up for not being able to get out of the narratives. So yeah, grace. Grace and compassion.
Speaker 1:Yes. Grace and compassion. I love those.
Speaker 2:Well, how can our listeners find you?
Speaker 3:Yes, you can listen to Quiet the Clock on Apple, Spotify. We're on YouTube. Uh , you can follow us on Instagram at Quiet the Clock Pod. You can reach out to us at hello@quiettheclock.com. You can check out the practice. It's NYC Therapeutic Wellness. I'm not taking on any new clients, but I have incredible, amazing clinicians that are taking on clients if anyone is seeking a therapist. And, and honestly like if, you know, I know we talked about support system, anyone can dmm me if they have questions or need support or thinking about egg freezing. I'm constantly responding in there and always happy to help and, and offer any support that I can too .
Speaker 1:Uh , well you are so lovely and we're so grateful that you took the time to come on, share your wisdom and knowledge and so happy to know you.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh. So happy to be connected to you two and now you guys have to come on my podcast.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 3:<laugh>. Thank you both. Thank you both for having me. This is awesome.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for coming on. And the way we like to wrap our podcast is something we are grateful for. So something you have some gratitude for.
Speaker 3:Oh, I mean, instantly my son comes to mind. My son. Yeah, he's two and a half . He is <laugh> , he's got all his own. He , so I'm grateful, I'm grateful for my son and I'm grateful to do this work and I'm grateful for my son because when we talk about having lost the hope, I wasn't sure if I would ever get to be in a mother. So I feel extremely grateful that I get to be his mother. So yeah, that's the, that's, and maybe it's a cliche answer, but that's the first one that comes in my head. It's , it's my son. I feel very, I feel very grateful and I wanna just say this, for me, being a mom at 40, once I got there, now looking back, it makes so much sense. Like I was meant to be a mother at 40. So I guess I will say I am grateful for my timeline and my journey and the timing of when I became a mother.
Speaker 2:Oof .
Speaker 1:Love that. I love, love that. I love that. Sarah, what about you?
Speaker 2:Ah , I love the perspective idea, having perspective looking back, but I actually, I'm going to say I am grateful for a new mentor that I have of mine who has been teaching me and giving me lots of guidance on letting things go. And the fact that you said like moving through things. Like today I went to his class live and literally what did he speak about? Like, I love synchronicities. He spoke about moving through things.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 2:And I was like, woo , that's, I can clearly, I believe like the universe shows you signs and whether you pick it up or not. And I'm like, clearly the universe wants me to, to hone in on this message that we, I need to go through things .
Speaker 3:Wow , that's so cool. That's
Speaker 2:So cool to get to the other side. So thanks to you, thanks to my mentor for, and thanks to the universe for , for teaching me this really wonderful lesson. Um, what about you Rena ?
Speaker 1:I'll say I think I'm grateful for perseverance and the ability to keep going even when things are tough and to just kind of get up and , and have hope and keep putting one foot in front of the other and, and that because, you know, each day is truly a blessing.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love that. I love that so much. I think that women are so incredible and expansive and we can just expand and keep going. It's, yeah, I love that. I love both of those things.
Speaker 1:Love it all. Well, we're so grateful to have you on and , um, yeah, the little bonus I'll say lately , I'm just so grateful for like female friendships. Yes . Oh my gosh . Female connected . Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . I've really been leaning into some women's groups and just sort of like a sisterhood, which has been really, really nice lately. Um ,
Speaker 3:I think it's so important. Yeah. And that's been one of the amazing things about this podcast is that just the people I've been able to connect with and, and grow relationships through being connected for the podcast or being , having these opportunities to connect with both of you. It's so great.
Speaker 4:Thanks for being part of our circle now, Beth.
Speaker 3:Yes. I'm in your circle. You're my circle. I love it. <laugh> , thanks again. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you both soon.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much for listening today. And always remember practice gratitude, give a little love to someone else and yourself. And remember you are not alone. Find us on Instagram at Fertility Forward . And if you're looking for more support, visit us@www.rmany.com and tune in next week for more Fertility Forward .