Fertility Forward
Fertility Forward
Ep 182: Reflecting on 2025
This episode of Fertility Forward is a very special and highly anticipated one! Today, we are reflecting on the year that is about to end and sharing our hopes for 2026. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about what we want to leave in 2025, what we want to take with us into next year, our words for 2026, and more! From the best books we read this year to manifestation, this episode touches on it all. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast, and we can’t wait to see you next year!
Everyone, we are Rena and Dara, and welcome to Fertility Ford. We are part of the wellness team at RMA of New York, a fertility clinic affiliated with Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. Our Fertility Ford podcast brings together advice from medical professionals, mental health specialists, wellness experts, and patients because knowledge is power and you are your own best advocate.
SPEAKER_03:Today I get so excited, everyone, for this time of the year. It is a very special episode with myself and Rena, where we are recapping the 2025 year. Lots has went on, and I'm excited to kind of reflect.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I, you know, I love this. I do this with all of my clients at the end of the year. We start to talk about what do you want to leave in 2025? And then what do you want to take with you into 2026? And then, of course, goals for 2026. So maybe you and I can do that too. So things that you want to leave in 2026. What do you want to shed? What isn't serving you? What do you want to say bye to, not taking you with me next year?
SPEAKER_03:That's a heavy question, but I think it's great to reflect. I think it's wonderful to reflect, but I don't want to take on the old stories that are not serving me in the future. So the stories that I like to rush, or the fact that I um, I don't know. I I think, yeah, not holding on to those negative thoughts about myself and the judgments that I have on others. I know that's a big one, but that's something that I I do want to shed.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. I I think that's so interesting you say that I was just talking about that, actually this morning with a patient, about sort of the narrative that we have of ourselves, right? Taking time to pause and say, wait a second, you know, I used to be someone that rushed or someone that was disorganized, but I worked so hard to get the tools and make changes this year. And wait a second, I'm actually not that person anymore. And to sit in that, right, and and rewriting your hidden narrative of self and who you are, and to acknowledge that one of the most beautiful things of life is we do have the capacity to change. And if you don't like something about yourself, you can change that. Right. And and being able to sit with that and say, yeah, you know what, I'm not that person anymore. And I think what can be hard with that though is that you may do that, but it's communicating to other people, right, that you're actually not that way anymore. And that can be hard because other people have these opinions and views of you, right? And so to show them that, you know what, I actually haven't been late in six months.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it you actually you took the words right out of me in terms of I do think that more challenging component is people often see you a certain way. And if you've grown and evolved and changed, but they're still seeing you, the old version of you, that can be really tough. And I think part of it is it's interesting because you said to let them know that you've changed. I think letting them know is one thing, but also showing them.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, a thousand percent. I think actions totally speak louder than words.
SPEAKER_03:And then also not taking to offense when they do see you in that way. I think that's the bigger challenge of it all is, you know, I mean, I'll I'll use the example of I still get a little bit triggered. I'm not a big drinker and I go, you know, for dinners and I have a cocktail once in a blue moon when I'm out with some friends, but with my parents, for some reason, I don't love to drink. I like to be more present and it just doesn't give me as much pleasure with them. But my mother always makes me feel bad or often makes me feel bad. Oh, you never want to drink with me. And it really used to trigger me, and it still does here and there, but it's that's something interesting to like look at of like let that go. If she wants to see me that way and she wants to see me as maybe the boring person that doesn't drink with her, so be it.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Well, and that's let them, right? Like let her, you know, because that's obviously that has something to do with her. Totally so much more about her than you.
SPEAKER_03:Well, on that, I don't know if we spoke about this last year, but that, like for me, of all the books that I've read, the let them theory by Mel Robbins has definitely been at the forefront.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, fantastic book. I I love that. And the theory, you know, it's it's pretty simple. It's just basically let them, let them think what they want, you know, let let somebody think that whatever, that's okay. You know, if you know who you are and what you're doing, then that's all that really matters.
SPEAKER_03:And let you be who you are. So it's let them think what they want and and react the way they react. And let you be who you are too.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:What about you? Is there anything specific that you feel like you want to let go of or release?
SPEAKER_01:That is a great question. Um I think I would like to let go of my own negative self-talk or fear insecurity that I can't quote unquote do it, you know, that I can't be a financially independent working single mom. Like I I'm doing it and I've been doing it and to to realize that and to be strong in that. So I I'd really like to take that into next year. And it it it's something I'm really trying to teach my daughter is you know, the the power in working hard and being independent and being autonomous and that she has the power to do that.
SPEAKER_03:Wait, so in essence, you you are kind of letting go of that old version of Urena.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. I would like to, you know, and a narrative, you know, maybe I wrote for myself. Um to to sort of acknowledge all the hard work I've put into growing my career and parenting and that you know, I've I've been doing it. It's not going to happen at some point in the future. It's been happening and it's happening now, and that's amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's so interesting. The people that you're really close with who really see the real you see that version of you often when you don't see it yourself.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you know what, you know, a great um party game, if you will, right, is that idea you have other people write about how they view you because so often it's not how we view ourselves, view ourselves. I think, especially as women, I think we're so hard on ourselves. And so often we let all those things that you know we we see as a deficit or the pressures we put on ourselves be so much louder than the things that we are doing and the things that we have accomplished. And I really find that to be so common among women.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think that's nice to have others to hear it from others. I also think there's a great exercise in like telling someone, someone close to you or or not, kind of the story of your life in the view of the hero's journey. Yeah, so kind of, you know, how you started out in infancy and the growth and development, but in the viewpoint of you being the hero in that story.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. I think that's interesting. I was out with a couple of girlfriends last week and it really struck me that wow, you know, people they portray themselves a certain way, but it we're so quick to make assumptions, right? Like, oh, that person has everything, they're fine, you know, whatever. And we just don't know what's going on behind sort of, you know, the surface level. And we're so quick to judge and make assumptions. And and to your point, we don't know where somebody came from. But how amazing would it be if we had all the time in the world, all the mindfulness in the world to really have that conversation with the people that we interact with to really understand them instead of you know being quick to judge. You know, and I I think you're very lucky if you get, you know, intimate friends and people you can be authentic with, but building relationships in that way, it takes time. Right. And so I think so often we're we're very quick to go about things and then judge someone for being a certain way, but we really don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you you made a good point in terms of like friendships. I know we've I'm sure said this in the past, but like the importance of finding, you know, good people in your life who inspire you, motivate you, who bring the best out in yourself. You know, it could be a girlfriend, a guy friend, something along that those lines, but even like a mentor. I really do, the older I get, the more I recognize I don't need a million friends, I don't need a million colleagues, I just need a couple of people who help make me the best version of myself. Of course, at the end of the day, I'm doing the work, but it is really important to surround yourself by people who are doing their own work who can help inspire you.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. And I think be around people that you could be your authentic self with. You can share your truths, you can share if you're going through something, you know, allow them to be there for you.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think vulnerability is a beautiful thing. And I think, you know, it can be hard to be vulnerable, but it really can help you grow so much, of course, around people that you feel safe with.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I will say something that I would like to take with me into 2026 is I've really pushed myself this past year to to share things with people. I'm someone who my tendency would be to isolate, shut people out, and sort of just then sit in my sorrows, but that is never helpful. And so this year I really push myself, go out, share. And I mean, I was just rewarded on on so many levels with people's support and I let people be there for me. Then I was able to be there for them. And I think that's a really beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_03:I might actually take that one as well with me into 2026. I just came back from a really interesting conference, like a wellness conference called the Eudaimonia Conference. It was a summit in Palm Beach, and it was kind of a uh a discussion on longevity and health and wellness. And I went with some girlfriends and it was really great. And it just made me realize the importance of yeah, speaking up, being vulnerable, sharing things with people, as opposed to like, you know, I think that the most beautiful moments for us wasn't actually like going to all the talks. It was actually just sitting, doing nothing, reflecting. Yeah, it's like those, those subtle moments of of of opening up is is really what I would love to bring in in the new year.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. I think that's so important. It sounds like you also were able to get some stillness. I think that's important. I know I myself am craving stillness. You know, I have the the gift of being very busy right now, but I also recognize I feel like I just need to exhale and take some time to be still and recharge so that it can have the energy to be there for everybody.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you need to like refill your bucket. You need to find that balance. You have such a great gift of listening and giving to others. But it's important to take that time you're right to recharge and replenish, whether it's getting out of a busy city like New York or going to bed early.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly. Whatever you know works for you, but yeah, to make sure you're recharging your batteries.
SPEAKER_03:Have you read any good books recently that have inspired you or that you enjoyed? Whether it's has to do with anything, wellness or health or even just for fun.
SPEAKER_01:Oh gosh, you're putting me on a spot. I've read I'm a big reader, so I've read a bunch, but let me think if I can uh a quality title, if you will. I usually have a mix of some like trashy.
SPEAKER_03:Trash is good. I'm into the romanticy these days. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, I am knee deep in like Avatar, and it's a great escape. I love books. I love reading. Sort of a quality one, if you will, is I I was rereading Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron, which I haven't picked up in a few years, and I was just sort of called to read it again. I love that one. I was going through sort of a a tough time personally, and reading that gave me a lot of solace and strength. So I I definitely recommend that one. I think that's a great, a great one.
SPEAKER_03:I like Pema Chodron, but I've never heard of that one. So thank you for that's a good one.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's I think one of her classics, I would say.
SPEAKER_03:One of my teachers who is based out of Miami when I go to visit, I go to his classes and he kind of kind of like a Kabbalah point of view to his teachings. And he just came out with a phenomenal book. It's called Surrender. And my teacher is Gedalia Fenster.
SPEAKER_01:Love Gedalia. You interested Gadalia.
SPEAKER_03:But what I love is that, and I and good for him, he taught he speaks about it on his podcast that he he put it off for so long. And it was actually his wife who was like, you gotta start somewhere, you know. Start with like one day at a time, right? One page a day. And that ended up being the foundation of his book is he has like a tidbit that you can read for each day. So it's 365. Oh, I love that. Okay, I'm gonna have to get a page. Yeah, it's so beautiful, and they're you know, and look, it he has a little bit of a religious spin to it, but he also quotes various people like Edith Eager and Victor Frankel, and one of my favorites who we've spoken to in the about in the past, David Hawkins, just to make like little bite-sized, yeah, nuggets of inspiration. Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I'm gonna put that in my Amazon.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I put I put the Pema Chodron one on. We have to report back next year on our things in that.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and on that band, too, I would say is like that word surrender. Another thing I like to do, and I think we've talked about this every year, is a word of the year. So a word you would use to sort of define 2025, and then a word that you would like to sort of be your theme of 2026. And so when you say the title, surrender, I mean I I always love that word.
SPEAKER_03:I already know my word for next year, but let me try to think of my word for this year. Do you know yours? You said surrender might be yours.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. I'm gonna I'm gonna have to do some more deep reflection. That that I don't know that I can come up with on the spur of the moment. What's your work for next year? Joy. Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_03:I want to find joy in every moment, even the challenging moments.
SPEAKER_01:I love that.
SPEAKER_03:And I think it's, you know, I I want to level up, so to speak. And, you know, it's so easy to find joy in the celebrations or in the moments that we enjoy. But I do think the real gift is finding joy no matter what, even when we don't understand why certain things are happening, to have faith that it's all for the good.
SPEAKER_01:I love that.
SPEAKER_00:What about you, Ria?
SPEAKER_01:What are your thoughts? Well, the one that popped into my head when you said that was potentially for next year, gratitude. Because I feel like I would like to get back to really consciously having gratitude. And I feel like I've kind of gotten maybe swept up and just sort of like being stressed, but I'm stressed for great reasons. And so to be able to have a little more gratitude about it instead of like this just sort of complaining about it because I'm I don't have any major complaints. I'm that's great. And so to be able to focus more on the good.
SPEAKER_03:Well, that's great because learning from Gedalia, the month of December, really a powerful month. And if we don't sit and complain, there is so much more manifestation that can come in this month. So, you know, he said, like, if we don't complain this month, like you get a million more blessings. I mean, that's quite nearly impossible for the average human. But even recognizing maybe when you are sending a complaint, like what I often do is like if I notice I'm I'm being a little negative, I'll often try to counterbalance it with something else. Yeah. Something positive or reframing that complaint into something good.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, yes. I love that. Right. Pause. Okay, how can I reframe? Okay, got it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So a challenge, but I'm always up for a challenge. I mean, that's that's what I love about this life. It's like, how are you gonna play the game today? Exactly. Show up.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Exactly. And I love what you said, level up. I feel like I've been talking about that a lot with clients too, and having them recognize all the growth they've experienced and saying, well, yeah, and and look, you gotta level up, right? Are the people still in your life serving you at this level? Places, things, all you know, are they at your level, right? Or are you still holding yourself back because you still have that view of yourself when you were, you know, not leveled up, so to speak?
SPEAKER_03:Let it go. Living in the present or in the moment, or the hope of the future, as opposed to what we often do, is is reflecting. And I think it's important to reflect sometime in the past, but I think the the true wisdom is when you are looking at the past without the emotion.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_03:Lots to work on down the road, but I'm excited for it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, super excited.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm grateful as always for you and for our connection and our friendship. I always learn so much from you, and it's so nice to see the growth. I cannot believe you've been at this for so many years now.
SPEAKER_01:I know it's wild, right? It's wild. Yes. Well, so grateful for you and our podcast and your knowledge and keeping this going. You know, I remember when this was just sort of a conversation, and you know, we've kept this going through the pandemic, and here we are. It's amazing.
SPEAKER_03:We have a lot of exciting things up ahead in the new year, and can't wait for everyone to listen in and for us also to learn along the way.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. So here is to 2026 and continued growth and evolvement and joy and gratitude. Cheers. Happy New Year.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you so much for listening today. And always remember, practice gratitude, give a little love to someone else and yourself, and remember you are not alone. Find us on Instagram at fertility underscore forward. And if you're looking for more support, visit us at www.rma ny.com and tune in next week for more fertility forward.