Dino Identities and How Aren’t You?

Ever found yourself in a cap and gown belting out tunes during a Nashville karaoke night? We're all about unconventional celebrations, and as I nudge closer to thesis completion, we're debating just how to mark the occasion. Join us for a hearty laugh as we swap tales from aching childhood memories at Kings Island to the adult rite of passage that is greeting card selection – all while pondering the societal pressures of commemorating life’s milestones.

Midlife has its revelations, and we're not afraid to share ours – from the serendipitous joy of picking out the perfect humorous card to the unexpected insights gained during a bodywork session. We'll take you through an intimate discussion on the liberating shift toward self-contentment that age often brings, and the profound benefits of therapy, especially when it comes to understanding the intricate parts that make up our psyche. It's a candid chat about giving space to our internal parts, and how that can release decades of stress.

And because life's tapestry is nothing if not diverse, we traverse from Lucille Ball's surprising influence on "Star Trek" to the peaceful sanctuary of a therapist's office. We muse over the calming effects of white noise, and the riveting draw of true crime stories, and leave you with a quirky cliffhanger about cicadas that's sure to provoke curiosity. So, settle in with us, Kat and Moose, for a heartfelt episode that’s as unique and multifaceted as the human experience itself.

Chapters

• 0:04 Celebrating Graduation and Human Connection
• 14:55 Midlife Reflections and Card Shopping
• 18:41 Exploring Body Work and Parts Therapy
• 25:35 Therapy and Parts Work Exploration
• 36:51 Dinosaur Fascination and True Crime
• 45:20 Safe Spaces and Healing Conversations
• 54:08 Cicadas and Their Unique Abilities

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:04

Welcome to the Cat and Moose podcast. I'm Cat and I'm Moose.

Speaker 2 0:09

This is a true life podcast where we explore the quirks of being human. Hey, cat, hey Moose, hey.

Speaker 3 0:17

Sarah, hey, sarah, hi, hi, hi, fellows, we're doing it again called us fellows.

Speaker 2 0:24

Fellows, are you a fellow? Uh, maybe a fella. I feel more like a fella than a fellow.

Speaker 1 0:31

I feel a little bit more like a fellow because it makes me feel academic it does feel academic yeah, I am a fellow.

Speaker 2 0:38

I once won a fellowship to go to new york city, so I'm a fellow.

Speaker 1 0:42

You are a fellow.

Speaker 2 0:43

Yeah. Thank you, you're welcome. So I was in class this week. I um you guys, I am like a month away. You're so close.

Speaker 3 0:54

Oh my gosh Like.

Speaker 2 0:55

April 24th, I think, is my last turn in date for my thesis. Is there a party we need to have? I think this is our party the three of us maybe invite a couple others. The podcast is our party. Well, yeah, we could celebrate on the like. Yeah, who else would we invite? Well, that's not really my point.

Speaker 1 1:14

My point is that I want you to be and feel really celebrated for what a big accomplishment this is. Oh, like this is huge, and I just want you to feel honored. And if you feeling honored is sitting in this room with the two of us, the six of us, however many of us are in here, Well, now that you say how many do you think are in here. Well, I'm counting the dogs One, two three, four, so there's five. I thought there might be a hidden cat somewhere.

Speaker 2 1:40

Um, okay. So, speaking of that, I had to turn in some sort of thing called an absentee, something basically saying I wasn't going to walk at graduation. Oh, okay, and I really thought about it, cause I'm like, well, this is a to your point, like this is a big deal.

Speaker 1 1:58

Yeah, it's huge.

Speaker 2 1:59

But I also am like I'm too efficient with my life.

Speaker 1 2:03

I don't want to sit anywhere for two and a half hours and listen to some damn speech. Are you kidding me? And now the diploma goes to Daniel Jones.

Speaker 2 2:10

And now the diploma goes to Daniel Smith, and you're like they're still on H and we have to go to Z. So, anyway, I was like, no, I'm not doing that, but I thought it could be fun. You know all of the tourists that come into Nashville. We recognize them because they wear short jean skirts yes. Cowboy boots yes. They think we, as Nashvilleians, dress this way Because they've seen some country music, Don't you?

Speaker 1 2:41

I definitely do, not Only on Tuesday nights. When I go to broadway, I wear survival gear, I wear things that keep my body from falling apart.

Speaker 2 2:51

I do not wear cowboy boots and jean, can we come back to that, because I want to talk about comfortability when we get old, but all that to say, just like they. So then you have the bachelorettes that come in and they've got like a full sash on yeah, um. So I guess what I'm asking you guys is maybe our version of a bachelorette party is a graduation party and we all wear graduation gowns and caps and like go karaoke and like wait, why aren't you Wait? Like yeah, wait, just so. You know. You called my ass out last week and it got edited on something, but you just said to me huh, huh, which means okay, I, what does it mean?

Speaker 1 3:37

you tell me? Well, no, please tell me what it meant to me. Huh means that's not happening and I was still stuck on. You wanted me. What I heard was not that you, this is what I heard. I'm just. This is a great proof of like how we do as human, or how I do as a human. What I heard was, instead of a bachelorette party, all of us are going to wear cowboy boots and short shorts and we're going to go downtown.

Speaker 1 4:07

I didn't hear the graduation gown. I didn't know the context. I immediately was like I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 2 4:15

I mean I just, want to say the first thing that comes up when you say jean short or jean skirt. When I hear you say it back to me is chafing between my legs after a night of drinking. Like you would really have to wear some like tight shorts under there, right?

Speaker 1 4:34

Yeah, like okay. When is the last time that that has actually happened?

Speaker 3 4:37

to you. That's what I want to know.

Speaker 1 4:39

Because, that is a trauma from a long time ago. Yeah, or maybe not. Oh.

Speaker 2 4:45

I have a great story. Do you have a story about chafing?

Speaker 1 4:48

No.

Speaker 2 4:49

Okay, true story I'm going to get. I always say 12 years old on any trauma, so let's go with 12 years old. I might've been older, I might've been younger, but I went to Kings Island in Mason Ohio. It's like the six flags of Ohio.

Speaker 3 5:03

So fun Island in Mason, Ohio. It's like the six flags of Ohio.

Speaker 2 5:04

Yeah, I mean Cedar Point's cool too, right, but Kings Island with some friends and I must've been younger, because we had a chaperone and I was in so much pain from the chafing that happened with the shorts that I was wearing and I wasn't like a chubby little girl, my legs were just chafing. I was a cute kind of chubby little girl. But so I asked the chaperone if I could have the keys to the car and this is the summer, you guys. They gave me the keys and I went and sat in the car because I was, I couldn't walk one more step.

Speaker 2 5:38

I couldn't walk one more step. And I just remember like leaning down, pulling my thigh back and just seeing this exposed blister and then it was awful, and so that is my trauma around. So I'm not wearing that unless I've got some good chafing underpants yeah, good, I'm so glad.

Speaker 1 5:59

So could we go back to what the celebration looks like now that I can hear it with with not my trauma ears? I would like to hear it. So you want the three of us to get together and wear graduation gowns and caps? Is that, is that, the vision for the graduation party.

Speaker 2 6:19

I mean, I'm totally I just noticed my, my body language like closing up. Let me think about what I want to celebrate. Okay, I would like to. I would like for the three of us to take some ridiculous pictures related to me graduating, one that I can actually put on my wall, with maybe a couple other friends too, and, just like a celebration, I can be in my cap and gown. I want that as a memory so I can look back in 20 years and be like oh, look what.

Speaker 4 6:51

I did.

Speaker 2 6:52

And then it'll look like we just walked out of the ceremony but nobody will know.

Speaker 3 6:56

But why are we wearing the cap and gown?

Speaker 2 7:00

That was more of the Broadway thing. Well, I think we've moved past that. Yeah, I, that was more of the Broadway thing. Well, I think we've moved past that. Yeah, I mean, if you guys want to wear the cap and gown, I don't know, it was an idea and I think I'm moving past it. Okay, and then I would like to go to a really nice dinner at like Kane Prime. Okay, that sounds great, kat.

Speaker 1 7:16

I'm sorry I cut you off. Oh, that's okay, I'm fine Good.

Speaker 3 7:21

Oh okay, I'm good.

Speaker 1 7:23

I learned about boundary setting last week and I came in.

Speaker 3 7:25

We had a thing.

Speaker 2 7:26

This has.

Speaker 3 7:30

I just cut you off too.

Speaker 2 7:33

This has nothing to do with what I wanted to share. I haven't even.

Speaker 1 7:37

I just looked up and I was like oh yeah, I well, what do you want to share, Moose?

Speaker 2 7:43

So very quickly. So I in my readings in school four weeks away from graduation. That's how we got there.

Speaker 2 7:54

Um I, there's this book that I just got called fierce conversations, but, um, I just got it and, and part of my reading this week was, was a chapter of that book, and I just want to read this because, um, it's sort of inspired by this roomie poem and you guys know I love roomie and here's what. Here's what this little paragraph says. For many people, the answer to the question what's the opposite of talking is waiting to talk. Many people think that not speaking when someone is talking is the same as listening. Hearing people's words is only the beginning. Do you also hear their fears, their intentions, their aspirations? In the words of the 13th century Sufi poet, Rumi, reach your long hands out to another door, beyond where you go, on the street, the street where everyone says how are you? And no one says how aren't you? And I, it struck me, how aren't you? And so I thought it would be fun, even though I just went through 12 days of talking about graduating to start the podcast by saying how aren't you?

Speaker 1 9:03

How, how are? You always feels so like sweeping right like yeah, do you really give a shit? Or yeah, yeah, are you asking me? Let's begin with you, cat. Okay, how aren't I? Um, I am not feeling in emotional. Wow, it's okay. How am I? I am not speaking English. That is how I am.

Speaker 2 9:29

I was hoping you were going to say I aren't, I aren't.

Speaker 1 9:34

How I'm not feeling, how I aren't feeling. That's for you, thank you. Is I don't feel distressed? Oh wow, I don't feel distressed, oh wow. I don't feel under the gun. I don't feel like I am being pressured by anyone. I don't feel like I'm being pressured by a schedule or a job or anything like that, and I have done my job today.

Speaker 2 9:59

Yeah.

Speaker 1 9:59

And we are doing the podcast right now, which, to me, is part of my job, and I've been a part of a body work session today. That, to me, is part of my job, and I've been a part of a body work session today. That's also a part of my job. And like I don't feel like any of that is out of balance, um, and that is a really enjoyable feeling to feel like I am not out of balance. I love that. I'm loving it too. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 10:22

I love that you knew immediately how you aren't, Because that was hard for me. How aren't you Sarah?

Speaker 3 10:33

I aren't not.

Speaker 2 10:36

Triple negatives. How aren't I?

Speaker 3 10:48

It's a hard question, right, it is hard.

Speaker 2 10:53

Okay, I'm going to try. Okay, I aren't. I am not covered in anxiety today, which is big, and part of that is I've been able to do a lot of creative things today, so I think that brings me energy instead of depleting my energy. So I aren't full of anxiety today.

Speaker 1 11:22

Nice, nice. I'm very happy for you.

Speaker 2 11:24

Thank you. Do you have any?

Speaker 3 11:26

arts. Yeah, but it feels like looking in the mirror and trying to like do your hair where it's like a backwards thing. Yeah, I aren't, basically I'm not sleepy today. Oh, if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, I I feel rested and nice. That's um not common for me, at least in the last several weeks yeah so, yeah, it's been nice I've. I've also been on a break, but it's been. I'm not like overwhelmed with needing rest that's good.

Speaker 2 11:59

Wow, I am also not. I feel like lately I give less shits about what people think and that feels great.

Speaker 1 12:09

I bought a card this week. I went. May I share my experience.

Speaker 3 12:14

Yes, please.

Speaker 1 12:15

Okay, I will now allow you to speak. Thank you, I last Friday, I um, I had some free time. Okay, um, I had some free time and I was in between an appointment and an appointment I thought might happen, and so I stayed in the part of town where I thought the appointment might happen, sure, and I had about an hour and a half to myself and I didn't know what to do with myself, because I don't do a lot of that. I don't do a lot of like. I don't do a lot of like. I have an hour and a half to do whatever the hell I want.

Speaker 3 12:47

Right, right.

Speaker 1 12:48

And I was over in Brentwood and there's a store over in Brentwood called paper source.

Speaker 3 12:54

Oh, yeah, and if you know me at all. Yes, I love this store.

Speaker 1 13:00

I love this store. I love to wrap presents. I love to be really intentional in how I choose to wrap them. I make a lot of well, actually, I don't make a lot of handmade cards anymore. I do for my mom. I make my mom handmade cards and sometimes that's cool. Yeah, sometimes my sister, but that's really cool. I've never gotten a handmade card.

Speaker 2 13:17

No, it's not it's.

Speaker 1 13:18

it's something that is pretty pretty reserved for my mom.

Speaker 3 13:22

I can't wait for my mom's one. Well, graduation may be that Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 13:26

Back to me. Enough about me, let's talk about me. So I have some more to share.

Speaker 1 13:34

And so I was so I was over in Brentwood and paper source and I spent probably about 45 to 50 minutes looking at every greeting card, oh yeah, every little game, every little diary of zen, whatever, every little like you know, cube, that you can sit on your desk and flip to get encouraging messages every day. I mean I like I looked at all that stuff and then when I kind of realized my lunch thing that I thought might happen, probably wasn't going to happen, I went to my favorite little restaurant in brentwood it's called soy bistro and I went and I ordered myself the bieden bop, which is my favorite thing in the world. I love a Beed'n Bop.

Speaker 3 14:23

Jesus, lord in heaven, did you just say Beed'n Bop yeah?

Speaker 1 14:29

It's Bib-im-bop. I thought you just said Beed'n Bop, beed'n Bop, oh, beed'n Bop yeah that's what I said.

Speaker 3 14:38

Yeah, yeah.

Midlife Reflections and Card Shopping

Speaker 1 14:38

That's what I thought I heard too. Um, anyway, and I ordered myself that and I waited like 15 minutes for them to give it to me for me to take home, and which I took it home and ate it and it was fine. Um, I really enjoyed that space. Yes, I don't ever do that for myself. Why, I don't know. And I thought to myself like this I felt, I felt like God, I felt like I saw the seven days and it was good.

Speaker 3 15:10

And I said it was good.

Speaker 1 15:11

Like I felt, like I saw that moment for myself and I was like this is good. This was really good for me to do, and so, um, I think that this means that we are on the backside of midlife crisis.

Speaker 2 15:24

I don't know. I'm sitting here thinking what was that like to walk into a store, right, I mean, honestly, when I have to meet in this okay, this is not me being agoraphobic, this is separate from that but like when I go into a store, I am like, wow, people still like shop and walk in to look for clothes and like you sounded like you were describing like an old school Hallmark store, oh yeah, which I love.

Speaker 1 15:54

It's like beautifully curated. Yeah, it's like Hallmark on crack.

Speaker 2 16:02

On like bohemian crack.

Speaker 1 16:03

Yes, Because, like every the car, every single card is fantastic. Let me tell you about the one that I saw and that was my whole point was to tell you about the one that I got for you, so don't let me forget that. Oh, the one that I saw that I was in the store. I literally went like I laughed out loud. It said congratulations on being nine months sober. And then, in tiny font parentheses, it said oh, and the baby.

Speaker 2 16:30

Oh my gosh, that's good it was so funny.

Speaker 1 16:35

The card that I bought you has this woman on the-. Well, let's be clear, that was not the card you bought for me, that was not for you. And I did not buy that card. Okay, good, I didn't, but I thought it was really funny. Yeah, the card that I bought you has this lady on the front of it that has this giant shopping bag and she goes hi, this is my bag of how many fucks I don't give, and I totally bought it for you, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, I think that does happen on a midlife, where you hit an age where you're like what am I doing?

Speaker 2 17:07

I'm like doing all these things that socially line up, but they're not giving me life, and so you're just like I really don't care anymore what you think.

Speaker 1 17:18

It's hard to get to.

Speaker 2 17:19

I would love to completely get there, but at some point I think people respect you for doing what you love and what you care about and what's meaningful to you. Then they do like judging.

Speaker 1 17:32

Well, they're still judgers they're still judgers and I think that like at least for me at this age and this time every time I get to just have a little touch and go with that feeling of like I'm doing what I want to do, I'm doing for me, it feels exhilarating.

Speaker 2 17:53

Yeah, I know what you mean, where you have space Like I don't ever build in space, I like build in time to get somewhere and then sit for 15 minutes to like breathe and chill or whatever. What's that like?

Speaker 3 18:10

well, it's called over preparation and neuroticism but we talked about that on the on the podcast a few weeks ago.

Speaker 2 18:19

I can't remember what it oh yeah I was asking, like I was emphasizing that getting there early is being on time.

Speaker 1 18:27

Yeah, we did talk about that, I remember.

Speaker 2 18:29

So you had body work today, can you tell?

Exploring Body Work and Parts Therapy

Speaker 1 18:32

us about that. I mean, I am willing to talk about it a little bit. Okay, I have a lot to process. It was a fantastic appointment, really really powerful, and I did like parts work that I wasn't really prepared to do. Okay, and I don't necessarily know that we go into a therapeutic situation. Going hi, I'm Kat and I'm going to do some parts work, Maybe we do, I do.

Speaker 1 19:04

In this instance, today I did not, and I know that that happens a lot in my body work sessions, but today I didn't. I went in saying I feel really balanced today, like I was almost like why am I here? You know, I mean, I was very glad to be there, but I didn't have this like please help me from this horrible thing that I need freedom from Like it wasn't like that today.

Speaker 3 19:24

Yeah.

Speaker 1 19:24

And um and it was, it was mind blowing. It was mind blowing. First of all, my practitioner is amazing.

Speaker 3 19:30

Yeah.

Speaker 1 19:30

Secondly, the modality that is the same one that I've been studying, I think, is so powerful. It's local distal acupressure met with like Ericksonian psychology theory.

Speaker 2 19:43

Oh, yeah, the old Ericksonian yeah.

Speaker 1 19:46

It was just a fantastic session. And then I came here and I was like what is going on in my life? And I had a colleague call me on the way here and say how can I help you do the thing so that you can go do your podcast? And I was like what is happening right now, like this is awesome, and it just felt so good.

Speaker 2 20:09

Well, goodness, you've had quite the day. Can we go into what parts you might have talked to? You don't have to tell us everything but like we love parts work here and I'm just curious if what you might have, who you might've spoken to?

Speaker 1 20:25

Okay, I'll say that Cause it's going to be an ongoing thing and it's. I think it's going to be a relatively lengthy and relatively full of a lot of tears thing. But I had a conversation with my stomach. Oh good, yeah, my stomach is always upset. My stomach is always tight.

Speaker 1 20:45

My stomach is where I carry, I think, the thickest of my armoring, if you will. Um and I had a conversation with my stomach today and I I uncovered some really interesting stuff and um and so for you Um and so for you, that is your.

Speaker 2 21:07

Your body is holding that, whatever it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 21:10

I feel like I can say like very confidently, like when people go, where do you carry your stress? I'm like right here, yeah, like right in my solar plexus, like right at the bottom of the xiphoid process, and and your perineum and my perineumum I do not care, don't leave.

Speaker 2 21:26

I wish I carried my stress and my perineum?

Speaker 1 21:29

no, it would just fall out the bottom. Well, no, then I would just have sex all the time and make it better right?

Speaker 2 21:35

wow, it could just have release release wow, yeah, you're right, there's two orifices for it to come out of Orifices.

Speaker 1 21:45

Orifices I like to only have sex through one of the orifices, okay.

Speaker 2 21:49

Just to be clear.

Speaker 1 21:49

Okay, got it. Thank you for that. Thank you, very vulnerable moment.

Speaker 2 21:53

So your solar plexus is where you carry it all it is yeah. Yeah, I think mine is here too.

Speaker 3 22:06

Really here too. Really is this my solar plexus? Yeah, yeah, it's in that vicinity. Yeah, where's yours, sarah, and my neck? Where where my neck meets my shoulders?

Speaker 2 22:10

what I almost said. What karma is that? What, um, what's it called chakra?

Speaker 1 22:17

chakra is that um, throat, maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it. I think it is the, the neck, the throat, and and and also, like I've heard it said and I'm going to paraphrase this, but I've heard it said that, like the bridge between the head and the heart is the neck, wow, and so the bridge between what happens in our minds and what happens in our bodies is it the bridge? Is the neck, and no wonder it's so tense.

Speaker 3 22:44

No, it makes so much sense, doesn't it make a ton of sense.

Speaker 1 22:47

And there's a ton of wonderful acupressure points or acupuncture points, whatever like pressure points that that can be a part of helping the neck maybe release some of its tension from you know, always being that bridge, but I found that to be so beautiful.

Speaker 2 23:03

Okay, think about that from us using our voice perspective. Whenever I'm talking to my therapist about something that's hard and it doesn't even have to be something that is grief related, but something that is like, say it's something I've always wanted to do, but I haven't put the time or whatever into it and you finally like speak it and you're like you know what I would like to do, I'd like to write a book or whatever it is I always find that my voice naturally clamps up and my therapist always says she always says did you hear your body showing you how important that is, or whatever?

Speaker 2 23:40

And so the bridge thing is so important, because so many times we're stuck in our head, or some people they're stuck in their heart, and what could it look like to keep that free flowing? And is the voice a way to do that? I?

Speaker 1 23:57

mean the answer is I think the answer is yes, and I think like moose like when you share about stuff on the podcast that is really vulnerable or really meaningful to you or something that has really moved you, your voice always quivers. Oh, yeah, it's beautiful, like it's. It's like when I know, like as your friend. Yeah, it's when I feel like I know, like, pay attention, this is important.

Speaker 2 24:28

Yeah.

Speaker 1 24:28

Like it's really to me, it's very, very beautiful. Oh, thank you.

Speaker 2 24:32

Yeah, yeah, I think it's a. It's a good thing to notice. Like okay, this seems important. Yeah, you know, yeah, okay, so you spoke to your stomach. Did it tell you anything?

Speaker 1 24:43

Oh, it told me all kinds of stuff. It is mad as hell.

Speaker 3 24:46

Oh, it is, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 24:47

It's mad at me. It's mad at me for how hard I have asked it to work for so many years. Yeah, and what?

Speaker 2 24:54

kind of work do you mean?

Speaker 1 24:57

To carry all my stress. Oh, I see, to carry the weight of the world as a 10 year old carry the weight of the world.

Speaker 2 25:07

As a 10 year old, I mean, I was medevaced from Germany when we lived in Germany I know you've shared the story and like I don't think until you've shared it that you recognize the the weight of it, yeah.

Therapy and Parts Work Exploration

Speaker 1 25:16

You were medevaced from Germany. I was medevaced from Germany because of my quote, unquote stomach issues. And they did. I had upper GIs, lower GI, I had every test you could give a person and they could not find anything wrong with me. And that is still my situation today. I have this constant well, not constant I have a chronic pain in my chest that I've been to every doctor that can deal with something in the chest and they're just like you got nothing and it's like I know. I feel like I know now that that is a stress from my stomach like coming up into my chest, and I felt like at 10 years old I was worried about nuclear warfare.

Speaker 2 26:02

Yeah, and so.

Speaker 1 26:04

I carried the stress of what I heard on the world news and what I knew that my mom and dad were both a part of trying to keep us safe from by being, you know, civilians that worked in a military situation, like I. I I have carried my stress in my stomach from a very, very early age and I think, that my stomach is like damn it, we need a break, Like we need you to back up and let us have a little bit of a break. So yeah, my stomach was pissed.

Speaker 2 26:36

Let's take a deep breath. What are you going to let go of?

Speaker 1 26:45

of oh, I don't know, I I am. So even in my session today I was like I'm not ready to do that, like I like, I think, just acknowledging that this area has been holding this chronic tension for so long. If I just did that for a month yeah, just acknowledge you that you have carried this tension, then that that would be enough. I want to do more than that. I want to move faster than that if I can, if it's, if it's productive yeah um, but yeah it was, it was really Gosh.

Speaker 2 27:24

I think parts work is so fascinating. I had a friend that was asking tons of questions about it, trying to understand it, and I was like you need to read Dr Schwartz's book.

Speaker 1 27:35

Um so good, it's so good, but um, and that's the one that's called, there are no bad parts. No bad parts.

Speaker 2 27:42

Yeah, and there's like a 2017 interview that I directed my friend to that I just wanted to mention. If people don't want to read the book which I get, it's Alanis Morissette's. I think it's called A Conversation with Alanis Morissette. She even wrote the foreword on his book book. But I mean, you know, I feel like IFS work is very popular now, but I mean, that was seven years ago and she was one of the first people to really adopt his work. But anyway, there is an interview of her with Dr Dick Schwartz talking about IFS work.

Speaker 2 28:18

But the way I explained it andI wrote it down because I was like I'm going to try to remember this this is what I wrote. I believe we are meant to exist with all of our parts, make peace with them, making sure they see us as we are in the present. That's something my therapist does with me all the time is, after we've talked to that part, you know she'll say do they see you as you are now? And do they? No, no, they see me as a 17 year old struggling with the same thing and they are like you have a house.

Speaker 1 28:55

What you have a dog, that's so cool.

Speaker 2 28:58

You have a job, I mean, and so you kind of talk to that part saying like whoa, like I totally hear you. Can I tell you a couple of things, though? And you just go like let me tell you. Did you know, like we got through this and we got through this, and usually they're stuck, and then I said so after you see, if they see you in the present then ask when they took on the job that they're doing.

Speaker 3 29:26

That's what my third.

Speaker 2 29:27

I just wrote this down based on my own experience. So when was it that you took on protecting me as an example? And if they? And then you ask them do you like your job? Wow. And if they don't, you tell them is there anything else? Or you ask them is there anything else you'd like to do?

Speaker 1 29:47

Like a different job.

Speaker 2 29:48

Different job. You can do another job if you're tired of doing this job and that gives them the freedom of like, recognizing.

Speaker 1 29:56

And do your parts like just come up with that shit, like right away, yeah and only because I think I have spent time with my therapist like building that safe space.

Speaker 2 30:08

So like my stomach could have a new job of being a healing arts practitioner, yeah, it can do anything, but you got to ask it what it wants to do, right, it doesn't know that it shouldn't keep clenching, okay. That's what I think Well, that's beautiful. That's the whole book. You don't even need to read the book.

Speaker 1 30:28

This has been the cliff notes of that book, yeah, okay. So we've been talking about therapy and body work and a lot of really deep stuff, and I would like to give our listeners um, I don't think there are many of them, but I think there are a few of them who would really. No, there's a lot of listeners sorry, I didn't mean that like that.

Speaker 1 30:49

I don't think that there are many of them who aren't willing to go there with us and I want to honor that there might be a couple that they're like can you just say something funny, because you guys used to laugh all the time and now you're just talking about all your inner child work.

Speaker 2 31:02

I all that.

Speaker 1 31:03

I think that was your stomach speaking up? It is my stomach speaking up and my stomach has been invited to the conversation.

Speaker 2 31:09

It's here, come on. And it's here and it's pissed and it's on the, it's in the neck, it's in the throat.

Speaker 1 31:14

Yeah, it's in the neck, it's in the throat. Um so we got so many texts we did emails, threats, phone calls of everybody saying how threats, incredibly threats, huge idiots we were. That we all did not know that in the bruce springsteen dancing in the dark video, yeah, that the beautiful woman who kept like like googly eyeing at him was courtney cox, from friends, I mean.

Speaker 2 31:48

so we've got to address. Yeah, we do have to address it. I had no idea.

Speaker 1 31:52

I had no idea. First of all, I've never in my life seen a full episode of friends, really. So it's fair for me to say, and you can make fun of that oh no, I mean I, I, I've only seen a few I've. I was not a friend's person like I wasn't.

Speaker 2 32:08

Did you like her and scream, though? I loved her and scream I?

Speaker 1 32:11

don't. I don't think I saw that because I don't do scary movies, but that was like a teenage scary movie like it wasn't like

Speaker 2 32:18

I saw it super gory, okay, if I remember right I need to go watch it tonight apparently it was like the dawson's creek of horror movies.

Speaker 1 32:26

That's awesome, but anyway, in bruce springsteen's music video of dancing in the dark, it's basically him performing on stage and just having this like connection with this girl in the audience, and everybody in the world who listens to the podcast knew that that was Courtney Cox and we did not, so this is my public apology that I am not aware, culturally aware.

Speaker 2 32:54

Culturally aware? Well, I wasn't either, and I think they should redo that video Like do it real time. Yeah, like Bruce now and her now.

Speaker 1 33:06

Oh, that'd be great. He'd be pulling her up on stage and she'd have like a cane.

Speaker 2 33:10

She's not old dude, he's old I love following her on social media oh, really is a hoot, really. Yeah, like her best friend. Yeah, they do all these ridiculous videos. She's so funny, um, it's super sarcastic and makes fun of herself. And but the last time I heard about bruce he got in trouble at a national park for smoking weed on his motorcycle.

Speaker 1 33:37

Come on I mean there might be one of my parts that might be judgmental about that, but it is not alive today, okay, good, really there was a part that might be judgmental about that, but it is not alive today.

Speaker 2 33:46

Okay, good, really there was a part that would be oh my, gosh, like my, my, like super Uber.

Speaker 1 33:52

conservative Christian part.

Speaker 2 33:54

I've never seen your. Okay, I have seen. Yes, you have, I have seen that. Yeah, but you're right, she's been dead for a while. We're not supposed to kill him, that's the key.

Speaker 1 34:07

I mean I'm like courtney cox is dead, died wait don't kill your cox is live in a while.

Speaker 1 34:11

Yeah, she's fine, bruce is just a little high we started a rumor, and that's how we became famous yeah, seriously, um, so yeah, thank you for circling back about that you're welcome. And while I'm on a roll of culturally relevant things, I don't know if you guys are aware that the state of tennessee has recently and I think maybe it's the state of tennessee or it was just davidson county or just downtown nashville they have said officially that emotional support animals are not allowed in restaurants.

Speaker 2 34:44

Really, I didn't know that yes.

Speaker 1 34:46

Now if it's a service animal that is like, okay, you're blind and you need your golden retriever to help you get somewhere, that dog can go into the restaurant. But the bill says that the only animals now allowed in public places like restaurants are fish tanks and service animals. Fish tanks.

Speaker 2 35:11

You know how like the Rainforest Cafe has like a giant which that exploded during COVID. Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 35:19

Oh, I remember it got flooded and there were like piranhas going around the house.

Speaker 3 35:23

Wait, wait, wait, wait wait During COVID, or was it the flood?

Speaker 4 35:26

Wait.

Speaker 3 35:30

You said it got, it did.

Speaker 2 35:31

During COVID, one of their actual aquariums broke.

Speaker 3 35:35

During.

Speaker 2 35:35

COVID. You said during COVID yeah, in like 2020. Look it up, it's there. Look it up. But during the floods of Nashville 2010,. Yeah, in like 2020. Look it up, it's there. Look it up. Look it up, girl. But during the floods of Nashville 2010, there were these fake videos of people like holding sharks. Right, right, come on, are you serious?

Speaker 1 35:56

But there were people that were really concerned about being eaten by piranhas.

Speaker 4 36:00

Do you?

Speaker 1 36:00

remember this? Yes, it was like a mass hysteria and it was like photoshopped and people were like. This happened in West Mead my leg got eaten by a fish.

Speaker 2 36:11

Oh my God, people are so like yeah, okay, so back. What were we talking about?

Speaker 1 36:17

Piranhas, I'm bringing up oh the animals, I'm bringing up funny things to get us away from the whole like therapy talk, I've got more.

Speaker 2 36:27

Oh great. Hit us Kat. Hit us with the culturally relevant news.

Speaker 1 36:32

Did you guys know that if it weren't for Lucille Ball you know, she's one of my heroes and I'm curious if you know this about her If it weren't for her, Star Trek wouldn't exist?

Speaker 2 36:45

Did not know that, did you not know wouldn't exist. Did not know that? Did you not know that?

Dinosaur Fascination and True Crime

Speaker 1 36:47

I did not know that I didn't know that I read an article which I.

Speaker 1 36:51

The fact that I was on the internet is an act of god and so like, yay, I read really well, I mean, I use it for my email, but like I don't go like look, oh, you don't like you're creating space on the internet as well for yourself yeah, well, I don't post on social media like I don't, you know, like I don't, and so, anyway, I was reading this article that said that desilu studios, which is her and desi's yeah, company studio, whatever um, that star trek originated there and whoever was like in charge all the time that wasn't her, like all the worker bees that were doing all the work or whatever they kept wanting to like. They tried Star Trek and it just didn't catch with the audience. They did like a pilot and like nobody cared and she fought for it and fought for it and fought for it for like three years, wow, and then finally all of a for it for like three years, Wow.

Speaker 1 37:45

And then finally all of a sudden, it was like Trekkies were born, Like people just really, really embraced. Star Trek and I had no idea, and I'm not a Trekkie, I don't know much about Star Trek, but like I thought it was so cool that not only was it Lucille Ball but it was a woman Right who kept Star Trek alive, like I just thought I thought you especially would find that really interesting.

Speaker 2 38:11

I should probably know that I did a. I wrote a documentary about Lucille Ball's life in college and won a national award for it. What, yes, I did, and it was one of my. What was it called? I don't know, I need to look it up. It was Lucille. And then there was like something after it, but I, I won this award and she was the first woman to own a studio. Oprah was the second, wow.

Speaker 1 38:38

Wow.

Speaker 2 38:38

She's incredible.

Speaker 1 38:40

She's incredible. She is incredible and I remember you being such a huge fan and I can't help. But I'm not trying to dominate here, but you're just ticking off like all of my notes. Come on, it's. It's so awesome that talking about like things that happened at a certain time, like she was the first woman that had a studio and then Oprah was the second woman, so the Wright brothers, you know the Wright brothers they like invented flight per se like they they flew for the first time in 1903, which is so weird.

Speaker 1 39:12

It's so weird that that was like just last well, two centuries ago now. Yeah, um, the first flight took place in 1903. 66 years later, we landed on the moon. What, wow? What do you make of that if you believe?

Speaker 2 39:30

if you believe it, yeah, if you believe it.

Speaker 1 39:32

What do you make?

Speaker 2 39:36

yes, I'm remembering michael stipe.

Speaker 3 39:38

Yeah, michael stipe, rem such a good man on the moon man on the moon.

Speaker 1 39:46

Yes, I'm remembering Michael Stipe yeah.

Speaker 2 39:48

Michael Stipe REM such a good um yeah, wow, where did you find these facts? Did you like bump into like a card catalog on the way here?

Speaker 1 40:00

I actually got out my microfiche you happen to have one of those at home yeah, you're like.

Speaker 2 40:07

You know what some people like the internet. I like microfiche, yeah. So so we landed on the moon. And now, okay, so we have the wright brothers planes land on the moon and then in 2024, you can no longer take a safe flight because doors fall off. Fly off the planes right, right so don't fly on a plane, just go to space. Yeah, just go to space, guys. Yeah, yeah, I have.

Speaker 3 40:32

I have never been to the moon, that's all.

Speaker 2 40:36

Wait, can we acknowledge her face after she said it? Yes, I have never been to the moon.

Speaker 1 40:44

She's like so proud of herself. Yeah it's like I'm curious, what is that?

Speaker 3 40:49

I don't know. It doesn't make sense and I feel like I'm going to get a lot of questions about it and I need to come up with an answer for it.

Speaker 1 40:58

What? Where did you?

Speaker 3 40:59

first see the shirt to buy it Instagram. Uh, always, I want to say it was something like useless or pointless t-shirtscom or something oh my gosh, gosh.

Speaker 2 41:14

That is like the perfect website for you, yeah I mean, that's, that's really awesome, and so how?

Speaker 1 41:20

what took you from seeing it to purchasing? I?

Speaker 3 41:25

I needed it it was. It was like a. This might not even be a real website, but I need it you're willing to take a chance.

Speaker 2 41:32

It's that, it's timu, and you'll get it in three years. It was not Timu.

Speaker 3 41:36

Did you get it? I did, I just got it. I wore it yesterday and it fits great.

Speaker 2 41:41

I think your answer when people say what is your shirt and you just say it's just true, I've never been to the moon, I mean right, and then they can feel what they want about me.

Speaker 3 41:56

What do you think they might feel want about me? I don't, I don't know, but they're coming at me already with some judgment, don't you?

Speaker 2 42:05

think they're coming at you. What is your?

Speaker 1 42:09

shirt.

Speaker 3 42:09

They're coming at you with like machine if they're willing to talk to me about that and ask well, what does that mean?

Speaker 2 42:17

Well, no, they're just saying what does your shirt mean? If they say it in that tone, I don't think they're coming.

Speaker 3 42:23

That's true. I've never been to one, have you.

Speaker 1 42:27

I think, in a different lifetime, that I have you do I? Do I'm, I'm super believing in like multiple lives, quantum physics and multiple lives and lives in different timelines and stuff like that, and like I love Jesus. So like, don't get me wrong, like I I've not. That was for you Christians that are going to freak.

Speaker 2 42:48

It was just a side note, that was actually for me. Like that was actually for me. You talking to a part.

Speaker 1 42:53

I love.

Speaker 2 42:54

Jesus, yeah, it was. No, was actually for me you talking to a part I love? Jesus, yeah, it was okay.

Speaker 1 42:59

no, I hear you, though it's like you can love jesus and believe these things right, and I think that is is very true and I think that, like the moon is somewhere, I've been. I just think I've been.

Speaker 2 43:08

I think that's so cool I think that I lived during the dinosaurs. Really I just really want to, so that just came to me. But, like, why is that something that would be? I've always been fascinated with dinosaurs. Maybe I was a paleontologist or something, but I just think they're the coolest things and how weird that massive monsters ruled the earth. I mean it's just wild.

Speaker 1 43:35

If you were a dinosaur, do you know which type of dinosaur you?

Speaker 2 43:39

would be Not a T-Rex. I couldn't do it, the short arm thing.

Speaker 3 43:44

Brontosaurus is always my favorite, but they're not legit anymore. Is it like Pluto?

Speaker 1 43:51

Oh, they've, like they've been exiled from the dinosaur community.

Speaker 3 43:54

Really They've delegitimized it.

Speaker 2 43:56

Wait is Brontosaurus, the like, the long neck, the long neck, yeah, the long neck.

Speaker 3 44:01

Why did you like?

Speaker 2 44:01

that one.

Speaker 3 44:03

They were gentle.

Speaker 2 44:04

Yeah, and vegetarians.

Speaker 1 44:06

Yeah, yeah, they love vegetarians. I was 100% a pterodactyl.

Speaker 2 44:13

Oh yeah, I flew and you would scare the shit out of people like flying in and swooping.

Speaker 1 44:17

Swooping. I mean, that wasn't my MO was to scare people I don't know.

Speaker 2 44:22

I think you would enjoy that. It's just what you do. What do you guys think I would be? Oh, I like the Triceratops.

Speaker 3 44:32

I always like the.

Speaker 1 44:32

Triceratops too. Is that the one with the fan?

Speaker 2 44:33

around its head. Yeah, yeah, I like that one a lot. I think that's what I want to be. I love it.

Speaker 1 44:38

They have little stubby legs, though what about the Megalodon?

Speaker 2 44:42

Oh, the shark. Well, it's like a whale Dinosaur shark.

Speaker 1 44:46

It's like a whale and a shark and a dinosaur.

Speaker 3 44:50

That's like a whole other universe in the water. My nephews both are, oh really is it from?

Speaker 1 44:56

transformers maybe I don't know I don't know.

Speaker 2 45:01

I think there's a movie called megalodon too.

Safe Spaces and Healing Conversations

Speaker 1 45:03

I'm sure there is I had a conversation with a friend this week about watching true crime yeah, stuff, and it made me think of you I know you do, and and I I don't understand the fascination with it. And then I had a conversation with another friend. Well, aren't?

Speaker 3 45:24

you rubbing it in wow, do you have any feelings about that?

Speaker 4 45:30

I'm joking, it's just jokes, okay, but you have any feelings about that?

Speaker 1 45:35

I'm joking, it's just jokes.

Speaker 2 45:36

Okay, but you have more friends. I have like three, and I do too.

Speaker 1 45:40

I have three friends, and one of the three came to town and we had a lovely conversation and she was saying that, being in the profession that she is in, she works as a first responder. That she is in, she works as a first responder.

Speaker 1 46:00

okay, and she was saying, being in the profession that she's in, when she is dealing with those high intensity, really big, like dramatic moments, is the only time that it quiets her mind is the chaos I get that because I'm focused on this person this thing in my the all that's going on in my mind all the time it like it has to be quiet in order for me to do my job and I love getting to do that because, yeah, it helps quiet that part of my mind and I thought that was it is fascinating and so it makes me go oh, those of you who love true crime or like horror films or whatever it is it's like, oh, like it kind of made a little more sense to me.

Speaker 2 46:46

I just like to know what's going to happen to me, and so I feel like the more I watch Like when someone murders you.

Speaker 3 46:54

Yeah, like all the scenarios, it's like the guy under the like.

Speaker 2 46:57

When someone murders you. Yeah, like all the scenarios under the car with the razor blade cutting my Achilles, lord. So for me I'm like I know it's coming, so I need to be as prepared it. It's like going getting your master's degree. It's like you're gonna be murdered or attacked. So become as informed as you possibly can yeah, yeah, that makes sense, yeah, and. I do appreciate what she said and I'm curious for you guys what calms, what does that for you? What?

Speaker 3 47:28

what snaps you into like a place where you're like oh mine is uh, there is one song on Spotifyify specifically I wouldn't even call it a song, more of a track um, and it's just white noise, and I put my headphones on with the um, my, what are they called? The airpod max, airpod max pro maxes, maxi pads, the maxi pads, two maxi pads, one on each slap, one on each ear. Turn. Turn it on transparent mode, no, no, no, no. Turn it on isolation mode. Is that right? I mean, they all sound lovely. Oh yeah, where it just turns off the outside world and I'm just listening to my white noise, it like tricks my brain into sleeping. Oh my gosh, oh, I love that. That's your safe spot sleeping. Oh my gosh, I love that that's your safe spot it, it's like, it's like instant for me.

Speaker 1 48:21

I can be asleep in five minutes.

Speaker 2 48:21

That's good. Love that. What's your?

Speaker 1 48:23

safe, happy, everything's clicking probably being on the table yeah, on or rubbing the table maybe just explain what that means to people who don't know what that could mean.

Speaker 2 48:36

Oh yeah, Tell us about how you like to climb up on that table she just likes getting on tables I like getting on tables and it makes me feel at peace.

Speaker 1 48:43

Yeah, that's so awful. That's not at all what I mean.

Speaker 3 48:48

Any kind of table I know like I'm.

Speaker 1 48:51

What I'm referring to is a table for body work. Referring to is a a table for body work, like I um, I have been taught by the community of people that I have been learning and studying with that being on a table is a really safe place for me, yeah, and so I really I, I am able to kind of let go there yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 49:13

So that can you do that when you are also working with somebody. When you do that when you are also working with somebody, when you're standing next to the table working with somebody who is on the table yes, that also feels that it feels it.

Speaker 1 49:26

It feels it's a little more weighty. Yeah because I'm the one in charge of course, like I'm the one who, who the client is paying to do a thing? Yeah, and I also feel really safe there because my goal is to create a, a a real environment of safety for that person Right Right.

Speaker 1 49:47

And if it's safe for them, it also is safe for me, and that maybe that isn't always true, but for me that has been true so far. And so, yeah, yeah, it's like being at the side of the table or being on the table. It's like I'm like, yeah, that's a, yeah, safe place what about you moose?

Speaker 2 50:06

uh, I think for me, um, I'm probably being in my therapist's presence, like I've probably been in my therapist's presence, like I, just we, like you were asking can you just like flow into that or whatever, and it's like, yeah, I'll literally come in and go. Here's a quick update of five minutes. Here's what I, who I feel like I need to talk to this week. We, at this point, there's a few off weeks where, um, I just need to talk through a problem or something, but it generally is this is the part that's raising its hand. Huh, that's so cool. So, yeah, I feel I feel safe and content in that space.

Speaker 1 50:51

Love that. That's awesome, yeah, yeah, I think we should just keep asking each other where we feel safe.

Speaker 2 50:59

Okay, how about you, sarah? Can you play that video, sarah, cause this kind of plays into this and I would love to get your guys' feedback.

Speaker 3 51:06

Here we go.

Speaker 4 51:09

The most interesting types of people to work with as a somatic based trauma therapist is people who intellectualize their feelings, and the reason is because, similar to those who are referred to as having high functioning anxiety or depression, these folks often fall through the cracks, and the reason is because they can tell you where certain behaviors originated from, where their thought patterns come from, what they should do in order to change some of these pieces. But they still feel the same and typically the root is that they're not connected to their bodies. So they think about it, they analyze their feelings, but they don't actually feel their feelings. They don't feel safe enough in their body too, so on the surface, someone might assume okay, you're done therapy, there's no more work to do. Pack it up.

Speaker 2 52:04

Can you guys relate to that?

Speaker 3 52:06

I can definitely.

Speaker 2 52:07

I. I watched that and I was like, oh my God, I'm that person she's talking about. Yeah, because and I even see the smile on my therapist's face sometimes when I'll be like I mean, I know where it's from, it's from this, and here's the thought pattern.

Speaker 2 52:22

And everything she just described and and then my therapist will say can we just breathe and process what you just said? Huh, which is kind of what I did to you earlier, where I was like that was a lot, yeah, like let's feel that, yeah, but I don't ever feel safe in my own body. That's one thing I'm working on is like embodiment to really love that. I probably should come see you soon.

Speaker 1 52:44

I mean, I would love it. I would love it and I need some serious coaching. So I just I mean. I think all of our listeners are like screaming at their windshields right now going why don't? You guys do this like you talk about it all the time.

Speaker 2 52:57

Look, if you listeners want to join us, we will start by doing a little retreat where we're going to uh, cat's gonna do some body therapy, body work therapy, and I'm gonna do some coaching therapy none of these are words that we actually use and sarah's gonna teach us all how to um, roll around on the floor and do yoga.

Speaker 3 53:22

She's great at yoga I don't know any names, but I like to stretch and then we'll.

Speaker 1 53:29

We'll just let's get 10 people signed up and to that one person who gave you constructive criticism this week about saying things that we're going to do and not doing them. Yes, I would like to dedicate this episode to that person, yes, and that we might consider actually doing said retreat.

Speaker 2 53:47

Yeah, I mean honestly, we would do that. I would do like. I think, instead of like individual coaching, I'd like to do more. We can facilitate like some group stuff, but that would be really fun. Yeah, it would be. Anyone wants to come to Nashville? Hey, sign us up. We're going to close that loop. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it was great seeing you all.

Cicadas and Their Unique Abilities

Speaker 1 54:07

It's good seeing you too Next week. I'm going to talk about cicadas and how they can piss 10 feet. Wait, should we talk?

Speaker 3 54:13

about it now.

Speaker 2 54:13

No, no, no that's called a tease. Make sure you circle back.

Speaker 1 54:17

Oh, I will special thanks to our producer, sarah Reed, to find out more.

Speaker 2 54:33

go to catandnewosepodcastcom. Cat and Moose is a BP production.