Every podcast has that one running joke about something left uncompleted, and for us, it's the grand hollering contest we left hanging in the air like a note from a yodeler on a mountaintop. Well, the echoes have returned, and we're finally crowning the champions of our cacophonous challenge! Expect to be entertained by a diverse mix of victory cries, including a Swedish shout that tickles our funny bones. Plus, indulge in our whimsical commune fantasies, where I'm the mayor without a town hall, and discover why soft shell crabs are comedy gold.
Now, who could resist a bit of laughter with a side of history? Benjamin Franklin might have penned the Declaration of Independence, but today, we're more interested in his declaration of flatulence freedom with "Fart Proudly." And oh, the words we've tangled—jujitsu and chlamydia have never been more hilariously confused. From the pages of Lisa See's "Lady Tan's Circle of Women," we're whisked away into a world of historical fiction, weaving together traditional Chinese culture and the time-honored art of storytelling.
Feeling nostalgic? We've all got those songs that define our teenage angst and early adulthood escapades, and in this episode, we're turning up the volume on those very tracks. Walk down memory lane with us, and laugh at the lyrical slip-ups that have us crimson with embarrassment even years later. A huge shoutout to Producer Sara, who choreographs our audio dance week after week—this episode of the Kat and Moose Podcast is a symphony of chuckles, candid tales, and tunes that are the soundtrack of our lives.
Every podcast has that one running joke about something left uncompleted, and for us, it's the grand hollering contest we left hanging in the air like a note from a yodeler on a mountaintop. Well, the echoes have returned, and we're finally crowning the champions of our cacophonous challenge! Expect to be entertained by a diverse mix of victory cries, including a Swedish shout that tickles our funny bones. Plus, indulge in our whimsical commune fantasies, where I'm the mayor without a town hall, and discover why soft shell crabs are comedy gold.
Now, who could resist a bit of laughter with a side of history? Benjamin Franklin might have penned the Declaration of Independence, but today, we're more interested in his declaration of flatulence freedom with "Fart Proudly." And oh, the words we've tangled—jujitsu and chlamydia have never been more hilariously confused. From the pages of Lisa See's "Lady Tan's Circle of Women," we're whisked away into a world of historical fiction, weaving together traditional Chinese culture and the time-honored art of storytelling.
Feeling nostalgic? We've all got those songs that define our teenage angst and early adulthood escapades, and in this episode, we're turning up the volume on those very tracks. Walk down memory lane with us, and laugh at the lyrical slip-ups that have us crimson with embarrassment even years later. A huge shoutout to Producer Sara, who choreographs our audio dance week after week—this episode of the Kat and Moose Podcast is a symphony of chuckles, candid tales, and tunes that are the soundtrack of our lives.
Welcome to the Cat and Moose podcast. I'm Cat and I'm Moose.
Speaker 2:
This is a true life podcast where we explore the quirks of being human. Oh, hey girl, hey girl, hey, okay girl, hi girl. She said hi girls.
Speaker 3:
Hi girls.
Speaker 2:
She said hi girls, hi girls, you remember, wait. First, I would like to address something. This is an address. Okay, hear, hear. Okay, Can I get some like political music, like when the president walks into the Congress, or something? Yeah, sure, here you go.
Speaker 1:
This is so funny because I have things to say about presidents today too. How funny I do too, what?
Speaker 2:
Well, I am not talking about presidents, but Well, you just asked for presidential music. I do want presidential music because I want to make an announcement that is very formal Because you're the president.
Speaker 1:
If you were running for president, I would vote for you.
Speaker 2:
Thank you. I was talking about with you and some other friends what my actual job would be if we were on a commune.
Speaker 4:
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and the only job somebody said was you'd be the mayor. Yeah, and I wasn't offended by that. I know it feels right. Yeah, like everyone else had like very practical jobs, but mine was just mayor, which means we're not sure what your hard skills are, but you seem like you could influence people.
Speaker 1:
But you have plenty of soft skills, yeah.
Speaker 2:
Which makes me immediately think of a soft shell crab.
Speaker 1:
Oh the fried ones are so good. No, nope, yes.
Speaker 3:
Like just don't bring me Oof.
Speaker 1:
Oh, deep fried soft shell crab, bring it on, that shit's good. Yeah, but when they bring it to you on a bun with the legs sticking out, god it's yeah, I've not had that experience before I'm gonna find one, but keep going while we do that um, I'm still curious about your presidential music and your mayoral address to the community.
Speaker 2:
Sarah, can you find a photo of the soft shield On a bun? So the announcement that I want to make is it has come to our attention that we do not follow through with things on the podcast, and in order for us to grow, we need to be challenged. So I would like to say thank you to those challengers out there who say that our follow through is on the poor level, and so, as a way to say that, oh yeah, you, you, you put down a challenge, you double dog, dared us, we will show up, and so I would like to make an announcement that we are going to follow through on the hollering contest that we did back in August of last year and actually choose the winners.
Speaker 1:
Yep, we're going to follow through on what we said we're going to do and we had a hollering competition and we're following through on the hollering competition. What I thought you were going to say is that you've already set up the cat and moose podcastcom. Slash go, fund me page I thought about it. I've got a few people who are already already willing to donate.
Speaker 2:
Are you serious?
Speaker 1:
No, not at all, it's a lie.
Speaker 2:
Okay, good, I was going to say like, look, we will take your money. Um, look, you can just become a patron if you want to support our educational endeavors.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, if you would like to become a patron, you can go to. Yes 1-866-PATREONCOM 1-866-PATREONCOM. Okay, so, like, how are we going to resolve this hollering thing? Like what?
Speaker 2:
do you got Well, Sarah, don't you have a few where we're?
Speaker 3:
going to play here? Yeah, are we doing this right now?
Speaker 2:
I think we should Like just right off the top. We're addressing the, the conflict.
Speaker 3:
We're going to move forward and make an announcement, okay well, let's just remind people where we started on all this oh cool well, I've grown up around hollering because my grandfather was the champion, and I've grown up to just start hollering.
Speaker 4:
And then one day I decided that I would yell, and so I hollered, and one of my hollers was the distress holler, which went like this Woo Woo, I'm sorry, but that's not like she's having a good time and then there's a water call which is like, when I'm out in the field and I want some water, I'll yell to the house and it goes like this Woo.
Speaker 2:
Woo.
Speaker 4:
Somebody just brings her water and then, if I want some dogs to come to me, there's a holler which goes like this Woo Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo Woo.
Oh, that's nice. Okay, all right, here's another one. Yes, okay, I like that.
Speaker 1:
And here's one more.
Speaker 2:
That one's awesome wonder, what that is calling for huh.
Speaker 3:
Okay, what about this one? Oh, that's nice yes, okay, all right, here's another one. Oh Okay, all right, here's another one. Okay, and we got this one. This is my.
Speaker 1:
Swedish harried mother of six children that is so sick of her kids and they're screaming whole chef done.
Speaker 2:
Done. She said it means shut up in swedish. I mean that that might win.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I mean like the whole shaft done, it's like it just means shut up.
Speaker 2:
I love, love that we have Swedish listeners too, I know.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh yeah.
Speaker 2:
So cool.
Speaker 1:
Do you guys get Sweden and Switzerland mixed up ever yeah?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, all the time.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah. A lot of times I'll go. I'm Sweden here, I'm Sweden.
Speaker 2:
Guys, I want to be Norway in this conversation.
Speaker 1:
Guys, I would like to be the South Pole in this conversation.
Speaker 2:
That might get you somewhere you don't want to go.
Speaker 1:
Right? Well, that's true. We talked about the South Pole quite a bit last week, so I've stumbled upon something that I think is really neat, and I also am having that sensation that I get sometimes in my body where I feel like I know that, I know that, I know that I'm like not seeing someone or I am taking up too much space. So is it okay for me to talk right now, or do I need to?
Speaker 2:
I thought, you were serious at first and.
Speaker 1:
I was like oh my gosh, you're half of the podcast.
Speaker 2:
I was literally like holy crap somebody send her an antidepressant. Thank you for shocking me, that was enjoyable it's so rare. I was like where are we going? Thank you for shocking me. That was enjoyable. It's so rare.
Speaker 1:
I was like where are we going, okay? So I'm going to say something to you and it's going to take you maybe a second or two to process, but the time in between the year 1916 and 1970. Okay, was 54 years, okay. Okay, that is the same amount of time as 1970 to 2024.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, man, that's weird.
Speaker 1:
Wow, 54 years, wow, 54 years, wow. Can I offer even more context? Yes, please.
Speaker 2:
Is that the age you're about to turn?
Speaker 1:
None of that is having to do anything with my age. No, but thank you, I'm just kidding. You're right behind me, you're right behind me, okay, so in 1916 is when we had the 28th president of the United States, hi Satchel, that's for you, hi Satchel. He was not the president, he wasn't the president, but he would know who the 28th president of the United States is, and it was Woodrow Wilson. And Woodrow Wilson signed the National Defense Act and what that did is, for the first time in American history, that gave the president the authority in extreme cases of emergency or acts of God or something really terrible. It gives the president the ability to enact the National Guard. That's the first time that ever became a law was in 1916. And then, for perspective, 54 years later, the Beatles broke up. Wow, wow. Same time as in 1970, apollo 13 was launched. Same time as in 1970, apollo 13 was launched. And only 54 years later, here we sit today.
Speaker 3:
Are you saying something crazy is going to happen this year, or significant?
Speaker 1:
I'm saying that it's fascinating to me how quickly our society has evolved. Yeah, the past like 54 years, you know yeah, in 100 years.
Speaker 1:
You know, it's like it's like to think that the time between 1916 and 1970 is the same as between 1970 and 2024. Like 1970 was five years before I was born. Yeah, and if you just look at the stuff that happened between woodrow wilson signing that thing and the beatles breaking up, like that's a lot of shit to go on. Yeah, in only 54 years. You know, and I'm just saying like golly, like I've heard people say before, that technology has evolved a lot faster than our species has evolved, to the point that like we can't handle it, you know, and it's like, well, no shit, like I don't know.
Speaker 2:
I just found that really fascinating, I think it's fascinating too, especially when we consider quantum physics, and I was thinking about this the other day. I have a really hard time being patient when things, when I want things to move, and when I just lean in and I do it and I do the thing, I realized that it actually takes the time I had to learn the things I had to learn before I got to the place. I wanted to be Right and it's never on my, it's never on my timeline, and so I realize what you're saying is it actually does move fast when we look backward, but it just feels like it's moving slow in the moment.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
Which also made me think of a new quote that I saw this week.
Speaker 3:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
That said, depression I've already talked about this Depression is when you are trying to be somewhere that you aren't right now.
Speaker 1:
Oh, wow, yeah, I remember you playing a clip about Jim Carrey saying something about depression, but it wasn't that.
Speaker 2:
Oh, I've got lots on depression, A whole catalog whole card catalog.
Speaker 1:
You're back to the microfiche again. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I would like to buy one of those.
Speaker 3:
Did you know that Benjamin Franklin was so obsessed with farting that he wrote an essay about it titled Fart Proudly no, wow, they called it farting back then.
Speaker 2:
Yes, oh my gosh, See, we have progressed. We have indeed.
Speaker 1:
We did.
Speaker 2:
Can you?
Speaker 3:
read it to us. Yes, this is what came on my Instagram, okay, okay, yes, this is what came on my Instagram, okay, okay. Benjamin Franklin is one of the most renowned figures in American history, and he was also so obsessed with farting that he wrote an essay about it. In 1781, franklin submitted an article titled Fart Proudly to the Royal Academy of Brussels, which was one of the most respected scientific organizations in Europe. In it, franklin demanded to know why the Academy was putting absolutely no effort into figuring out how to make farts smell better.
Speaker 1:
I love that. I love smart people. I just love smart people. Like we've talked about this before like anybody who's super smart I like develop an instant crush on. And it's like you know, it's like if I knew Benjamin Franklin, he would probably be like my, my crush yeah, one of the comments said our founding farter and wasn't Benjamin Franklin also the one who proposed that the turkey be our national symbol?
Speaker 2:
I don't remember.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I think that was Franklin as well. Sounds like a quirky fellow, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah, he probably would have been a great guest on the Cat and Moose podcast.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, you know how you love Chinese medicine and all that kind of stuff. Mm, hmm, love um Chinese medicine and all that kind of stuff. Well, I just want you to know I'm representing you and my house over here properly.
Speaker 1:
Tell me how.
Speaker 2:
And I was talking about scheduling the podcast and Sarah was like well, tuesday at this time really makes sense. And I was like, oh, I don't think you're caught up on the text thread. I said Kat can't do that time because she has jujitsu.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for representing me, Moose.
Speaker 2:
I really meant Jen Shindell, but jujitsu I just immediately created like an AI character in my mind of you, in a white karate outfit with a black belt and it was like yeah, it's, it's so like Jinjutsu is a a more familiar term. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
You know. So it makes total sense. Our friend Mark does this thing whenever I talk about body work. Our friend Mark does this thing whenever I talk about body work. He imitates beating a gong and he goes. It's really, really funny.
Speaker 2:
He did that once and I cracked up. Yes, hey, at least you have friends that make fun of you.
Speaker 1:
That's the best kind of love yeah, I mean I'm I'm so glad for friends that make fun of me and we got to hang out with one of our mutual friends this week all together and I had so much fun hanging out with you guys. We hung out with our friend, who is a family member, who is a listener of the podcast, who is an author, who is a friend who is a musician. We hung out with the lovely Stacey Frenes and had the best time hanging out with her and she recommended are you guys sitting down?
Speaker 4:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
She recommended that I read a book.
Speaker 2:
Oh, does she know you won't do that.
Speaker 1:
She knows it is uncommon for me to do it. And then so basically, she said you really need to read Lisa Lee's Lady Tan's Circle of Women. She's like I think you will love this book and it's a historical fiction book set way back in a long time ago China, about this woman who becomes like a medicine lady.
Speaker 4:
Oh cool.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and so I'm super excited about it. I am already in the third chapter.
Speaker 2:
Who are you? Yes, is this audio book or you're reading it?
Speaker 1:
Both. I bought both. I bought the hardcover yeah, I bought the hardcover book. She bought it for me actually at Parnassus Um and then I bought the audio book, cause I had to be in the car for like three hours by myself yesterday and so I was like, okay, I'm going to get a head start on this, so and I read another chapter this morning over my morning coffee.
Speaker 2:
So what if you were lady tan in another life?
Speaker 1:
I would be so happy in some ways, but I would also have had my feet bound my whole life, and that terrifies me so I don't want. I don't want that part of being lady tan right um.
Speaker 2:
Sarah has a story about the night we hung out with Stacey oh yeah, um.
Speaker 3:
so we were doing a tour of your backyard, cat, and I was looking at all of the lovely blooms, as we were talking about last week on the podcast, how spring has sprung and everything is in full bloom. And so me and Moose and Stacey walk outside and I'm like, look at these beautiful flowers over here, beautiful purple and she's like, oh yeah, just as calm as the day could be. Oh yeah, I think those are chlamydia. And on, she kept talking and I go like there was something in my brain that thought that sounds familiar, but I don't think it's right. And so then she pops her head and is like, hey, kat, what are these flowers called? And they're called Clematis, clematis. That's when Stacey found the error in her way and she goes I'm pretty sure I just called those chlamydia.
Speaker 2:
And the best part of that is that Stacey is like a writer, like a wordsmith. Yeah, a wordsmith.
Speaker 1:
She has a degree, in english poetic way of saying things yeah, yeah, I mean, she has a degree in english and she runs a company called grammar boss. Yeah, like she's an editor, like she has better vocabulary than most adults, I know yeah and the fact that she made that mistake, like, like, I feel like I laughed for about 20 minutes about that.
Speaker 3:
It kept going all night and we kept saying the chlamydia is in full bloom this year this spring, yeah.
Speaker 2:
And then she said I said can we ask permission to talk about this on the podcast? And she said yes, yes, it would be an honor if it could be part of the title. And that's where we came up with.
Speaker 3:
Chlamydia is in bloom in cat's backyard and bloom, full bloom, and and moose was like.
Speaker 1:
What a beautiful word for such a terrible thing you know, yeah, you bring up a really good point like that is a pretty word a nice sounding word sounds like a great name for a flower, right it does. It's not a flower, guys guys, why don't we just get some of that beautiful ground cover called chlamydia and just put it all around our fence?
Speaker 2:
It's like so many sexual euphemisms yes, euphemism, mism nizzle I have. On the last episode, kat, you talked about how you wanted to have your own segment called drip drop Close enough, close enough, yeah. Um segment called drip drop Close enough, close enough, yeah. Um, and I know Sarah's working on some, uh, some stuff for that and I my favorite part that I bring to the podcast is always kind of interesting news, like I'm a curator and so, um, sarah, maybe you could give me some like a news intro, yeah.
Speaker 2:
And I don't know what we're going to call it, but it's like mooses news or something. Maybe listeners could tell us what they want to call it. Okay, but I have four stories here today. We don't have to cover them all, but, um, I put them into categories so you guys could really choose your maybe your own adventure.
Speaker 2:
And the categories today are shocking, sad and funny, cicadas or embarrassing, okay, ooh. So which one do you want, kat? Shocking, ooh, okay. Shocking. So, sarah, the shocking one is going to be the first link that I sent you. Oh, okay, all right. So, um, neither of them have seen this, but there's a video I would like to share with you guys that it ran across this week. Does this look right? That's it. It's on CBS mornings. Here we go.
Speaker 5:
First of its kind, nude cruise, previously only available, leaving from Tampa, now leaving Port of Miami. This is February of next year. It'll be hundreds of people. There'll be no clothes on them. Why do I love this? I was wondering that.
Speaker 4:
Tony DeCoppo.
Speaker 5:
Why do you love this. Well you know, it takes one of the common complaints about cruises and removes it as a problem Clothes what?
Speaker 4:
are you going to pack? What are you going to pack? What are you going to?
Speaker 5:
wear Are you going? I've been joking that the packing would be easier, but now I come to think of it it's not really a joke. I like the idea of going on a vacation without packing anything, but I do have questions like where do you put your phone? Where do you put your room key, tony, do you want? And my question I did do some research here. Apparently, you walk around with a clean towel, so when you sit your bare bottom down, you're not on the deck. That makes sense.
Speaker 2:
Wow, I mean, first of all, he's very interested.
Speaker 1:
Very Well, I mean he's got that little sheepish grin that just won't go away the whole time he's talking about.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
Adorable.
Speaker 2:
Would you guys ever consider going on something like this? I couldn't do it. Nope. So if you're interested, it's called the bear necessities cruise. Um any other categories you'd like to hear? Sad but funny. I really want you to choose. Sad but funny. Let's do it. Okay, it's the second one, sarah. This made me sad, but also I laughed out loud, is it? Yep cat? Can you read it? Oh?
Speaker 1:
it makes me so sad, okay, um topeka zoo's vibrant and beloved ostrich karen dies after swallowing a set of keys. I mean it is awful awful.
Speaker 2:
I'm not laughing at the dying, not at all. I'm laughing at its name, karen.
Speaker 3:
And a little bit how it died.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that wasn't the best one to read.
Speaker 1:
How about the one about cicadas?
Speaker 2:
Okay, sarah, that's the last one. Give it to us, here we go.
Speaker 3:
It's set to be the biggest invasion in hundreds of years.
Speaker 2:
No, that's South Carolina.
Speaker 4:
Guys Just come out, look at this Pesky, incredibly loud Cicadas the invasion has begun. Oh no, Look how bad that is.
Speaker 3:
And they're already coming out in South Carolina where they're taking over Sarah Weiner's backyard.
Speaker 4:
I know you can't see this. If you're listening but there are cicadas, all over this woman's patio.
Speaker 3:
This is my first invasion. They moved in and they have stayed.
Speaker 4:
Oh, she's crunching them. They're mostly under her gazebo, clinging onto every corner. What are you sayingMR, for you guys there? I?
Speaker 3:
think this is a safe spot. It's already getting so loud in Newberry County.
Speaker 1:
People are calling the sheriff to complain. We're just going to have to take this as it comes. You guys? I think so. It's just going to have to be one step at a time. If it's like that, I'm not leaving. You're going to just have to be one step at a time. Yeah, if it's like that, I'm not leaving. You're going to go back into COVID mode. Yep, be like. I'm sorry I have to cancel this meeting because of the cicadas.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, Completely agree with that. I have one more thing that I need from you guys, and then we must go this week. All right, I need each of you very quickly. You have a full 45 seconds to think about this. I want you to picture yourself at age 16. Okay, you can even Google the year if you need to, but I need you to tell me the song that describes you at that age, and I want Sarah to create us a little medley of all three of those songs Age 16.
Speaker 1:
Okay, I can, I can.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I've got mine, okay, all right, it's going to be great All right.
Speaker 2:
Who wants to go first? Cat, please. She is the name of the podcast. Oh, that's true. Oh gosh Um. Kat please. She is the name of the podcast. Oh, that's true.
Speaker 1:
Oh gosh, okay. So the question from Moose was when I was 16 years old, what is a song that just really like? Says oh yeah. That takes me back to when I was 16. And I went and looked at the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 1991. That's the year that I was 16. And every single song on the chart is on my liked songs on Spotify still.
Speaker 1:
So let's start. Let's start there, OK, which I couldn't believe. I was like I know every one of these songs and I love them, and in my head I started thinking can you take me yesterday? And then I was like no, the, the song that absolutely marked my 16 year old self, was none other than Amy Grant's Baby, Baby.
Speaker 2:
Oh my gosh, yeah, come on. I mean, look how cool she is there. Hey, get it. John Travolta oh, it looks like it. Oh, she's mad at him. Oh, I've never watched this video. There's no better way to express love than a puppy. Come on, I agree. Okay, what was yours moose? Well, this isn't what I expected from myself, but when I looked at the list as well this one it just raised its hand. Yeah yeah I love this song still moves my soul.
Speaker 2:
I mean, he was a hunk of a man. Look at that eagle. Oh, his hair is showing on his chest. Fire in the bird.
Speaker 1:
The wind and rain.
Speaker 2:
And into my life. You are the one one you'll do it now. You are the one. You are the one yeah, I know that part. What a good song, moose damn it, damn it.
Speaker 3:
I did my math wrong earlier.
Speaker 2:
I was going to say this is not from 90-something. She's got Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love.
Speaker 3:
I just minused 16, and it's not right, but this was mine right here.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, this was college for me. This is a good one, ba-da-ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba, this is a good one, and I'm back at a motherfucking end. She's dancing, dancing, dancing, imagine.
Speaker 4:
Her own motivation. She goes down, down, down, down, down down.
Speaker 3:
I don't know the lyrics to the verse. Chop another line like a coda with a curse. Call her like a freak show. Takes the stage, the game we play.
Speaker 2:
She said I want something else To get me through this Semi-tr jump kind of life. Baby, baby, I want something else. I'm not listening when you say Goodbye.
Speaker 1:
Special thanks to our producer. Sarah Reed.
Speaker 2:
To find out more, go to catandmoosepodcastcom. Cat and Moose is a BP production.