Hugs and Misses
Hugs and Misses
Episode 38 - The Perfect Pot Roast
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In this episode, Ian entrances us with his recipe for the perfect pot roast. Also, there is some dating stuff in there and movie quotes as always. Oh and there is some offensive stuff as well. Enjoy.
Hi, I'm Ian and I'm Alex. And this is me
Speaker 2Is
Speaker 1Hello. Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of hugs and misses, where we talk about the dates that ended and hugs and the ones that did not. Alex, how are you tonight? My friend I'm full of roast beef. Do you, did you enjoy it and potatoes? Yes, I did. Oh, good. I made a roast this evening, ladies and gentlemen for , uh , our good friends. The Hutchison's figured it's about time. We had a, you guys over for dinner, Hedda . It's been, it's been a hot minute. It's been a hot, hot minute. And here we are. Yeah . I'm well, I'm glad you guys came and I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. Thank you. Thank you for inviting us. Oh yeah, for sure. Um , don't let me forget. I'm going to send you home with a roast. Okay? Okay . So you can do the same thing at your house. I doubt I'll be able to do the same thing. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. For everybody. Who's wondering how to make a good roast. It's all about just giving it enough time. Don't touch it while it's sent . So you can do it in the oven. Do it in the crockpot. I prefer the crockpot . It's a little bit more hands off. Oh yeah. I'm going to tell you how to do it. Okay. And everyone. And here's the thing is I'm not like going to be the guy who has like my secret, you know, I want everyone to know. Cause I want everyone to be able to enjoy roasts because you and I had similar experiences. Sunday roasts were my least favorite meal in the whole world. And that's because every time I would eat one, they were dry and gross. In fact, I'd been on several dates where that, where that was the first meal I'd ever had with the family. Right. And so I was like, wow, this is terrible. And they're like, Oh, it's amazing. And I'm like, sure. Okay, whatever you think, no matter who, you know, it was just, it just, wasn't great. Maybe that's why I no longer dated those people now. That's not it. Right. But I mean, I've heard it here first, if they have roast beef, then don't marry them. But you, you dry . Yes . You and I had similar experiences. Right. We didn't like roast beef. And then I was like, you know what? I've got a bunch of rows . I'm going to try it. So this is what you do. Thought, thought out, get it good and nice and malleable. Right? Um, you salt that thing, you salt it good. And you salt that thing hard. That's like four to five pounds of meat you're working with. Okay. When you think you've put enough salt on it, you haven't put more on. Okay. Then the next thing you're going to do is you're actually going to sear it. So with a pan. Okay. So it's going to be big. So you're going to need to use tongs and okay. So what you're going to do is you're going to get a pan. You're going to get some oil. You're going to get that really hot. And then you're going to sear it on four minutes on each side, including the edges, because you want to , you want to get that fat rendered down. And then what you're going to want to do is get it in the crock pot . You're going to pour one can of beef broth and fill that can with water and pour that in as well. And then what you're going to do is you're to put onion soup or onion dip mix into the broth. Okay. And this is what this is. And this is like the quote unquote secret, right? It's not that much of a secret. It just makes it taste better soup. Right. And I'd cook my vegetables separately because I don't like super mushy vegetables, but you can do whatever you want. Right. I'm not a fan of warm vegetables in general. Exactly . Yeah, no, no, no. And I'm the same way. So I just use, I just have the meat and then I put it on. So it depends on how much time you have, you can do it low for eight hours or you can do it high for six. Okay. Um, and by that time it should just be straight off the bone delicious, you know, and it should fill your house with that aroma and it is incredible. And then you just use the drippings to make a gravy. Yeah . And it's awesome. And it's awesome. I would suggest also I do use some MSG. That might be the secret that that's it. So, I mean, if we're talking, let's talking about recipes, so what's the, I mean, what's the MSG for, for you, Alex in your love life, what, what is the thing that keeps people or in this case, your wife coming back? I didn't have to say my,
Speaker 3My good looks .
Speaker 1Oh , absolutely. Absolutely . Now that's absolute sarcasm. A sweet ass. Yeah. I honestly, I don't know. I was just talking about this today. I was like, people can't judge my wife solely on her taste in men because I swear she's a smart person. You just can't judge her on me because I just do not represent her life choices as well. Oh, nonsense. I think you're wonderful. No , I think, I think what come on, what's your, what's your MSG. What's the thing that keeps people coming back to the buffet, contrary to popular belief. I think I'm kind of funny. You're very funny. And she thinks I'm funny. Absolutely. I think that's all I had going for. I think you're super funny apart from, you know, all the other good looking guys who wanted to court her, I hadn't met humor, so that's all I that's all I could do. I feel. Yeah. Well , I think you're great. I think you're very funny and very sexy. I want to understand, make sure I'm interpreting MSG, right? Like that's like the addictive substance. That's the stuff . That's the stuff that Chinese restaurants put in all their dishes to make it so like, it tastes better than it should. And then you're also hungry again in an hour. Oh , that's why I'm hungry again in an hour. I mean, that's part of it. Right? And some people link there's like, it gives you cancer. It gives you headaches. And I'm like, no, it doesn't. It's it's, it's like salt. If, of course, if you have too much of it, you're going to have racial issues. Just like if I have too much of that sweet body of yours, there's going to be issues. You know , the cast is going to get cast is going to get suspicious. Right. If you eat like a garbage can full of salt, I think that's going to get exactly. If you need a garbage can full of anything, you're going to get cancer from. Correct. Absolutely. But what's your, and uh, Oh, I don't know. I feel like I'm relatively eloquent. I can wait. I can make some, I can make boring things seem interesting at times. I don't know. I, and again, I feel the same way you do. I hope people don't just judge my wife for her choice of men because a not a great, not a great track record or finish there. I came, in my opinion,
Speaker 4I can attest to you making anything interesting though, because I tell you what we went on a road trip this weekend and I asked Ian one question about it ,
Speaker 1Coaster and Holy hell
Speaker 4For the next half hour. The most interesting story of the history of the rollercoaster. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1You wouldn't make it . And that's just like one of those things, right. You just don't expect. And that's the stuff. And that's what I think keeps relationships interesting. It's you're continually interested in that person. You're going to find out new stuff about him. We've known each other for I've known you longer than I've known my wife. Have you ever heard me talk about that before? Not exactly. So, you know, we, we get to know the other person, we fall more deeply in love with them and sure enough, there's some things that they know about that we don't even, you know, that we haven't even heard yet. There's just this small unlocked knowledge. That's just harboring in my brain waiting for that one day when Braden just looks at me and asks me the right question, like a Russian sleep ,
Speaker 4Alex, do you know anything about Blake when I need to do? And you did a great job activated
Speaker 1You did an awesome job explaining blink one 82 as well. I thought, I thought you did wonderful. And you're with roller coasters. It was . Thank you. Thank you. Um, so we're we're and also I feel like I'm a little, I, like I said, I believe I'm kind of funny. Absolutely. I think I can make her smile. You do. And she and I have similar kind of she and I have similar tastes and not, and not in like the thing that you like , you know, music. Yes. Food. Yes. But I think we like people about the same amount, you know, like we like to spend time together and apart just the same, we're very comfortable. We're very comfortable being alone. We grew up that way. We both did , um, except for, with siblings. Right. And, and I think we compliment each other in that, in that fact, but that, you know, there's a few ingredients in there that I think make you an Isom, an ice roast, nice piece of meat. The loot moist juicy salty. Absolutely. Oh yeah. Overly salted. Okay . So , um, and with that, with that , uh , happiness, let's, let's get into our hug for this week. Uh, okay. So , uh , this one comes to us from, well, at grammar from Reddit and this individual says, so it's the first night of my junior of college. My birthday's in three days. It's the weekend. So we party hard. Of course, of course. I meet this girl through a mutual friend who was a freshman and drop dead gorgeous blonde hair, blue eyes pretty. Oh, it's not just pretty slow and comma curvy. It's pretty cool . Ready, Carol. Yeah . I love it. And she's like, and she's like five feet tall. I'm relatively short at five foot six. So it's perfect. Good, good. I feel bad for some of you boys who are, you know , who are relatively short, you do get the both literally and figuratively short end of the stick. Oh, that was
Speaker 4Yeah. Good.
Speaker 1Like here's the thing. And people are gonna yell at me for this, but I never understood why, you know, girls can give guys crap about their height. And as soon as a guy even thinks about mentioning a girl's weight immediately, he is attacked against insane. It might seem shallow. And in some cases it absolutely is. And we've seen douchebags before. Right? But the only reason I bring that up is because the same guys who are made fun of because of their height would never bring up a girl's weight. First of all. And second of all, you can change your weight. You can't change your height. In some cases, it's a little harder, but you can do it. Right . And we talked about this for height in order to increase your height, you have to get a very special surgery in which they literally put screws in the joints of your bones. And every once in a while, they'll have to twist just like braces and it slowly separates your bones apart to make you at most, it's like two to three inches.
Speaker 4So it's either that, or you compare that to like a jog and some jumping jacks. Yeah. There you go. One's easier than the other, correct?
Speaker 1Correct. Anyway, sorry. That was a little bit of a rant, but I mean, I'm assuming you, people are still listening and I've said like way dumber things on this so far. So , um , and again, I understand, and I understand people have self esteem issues. Right? I understand girls for years and years and years have been told what they should eat, told what they should look told to, you know, what they should look like. But again, we have to understand if we're, if we live in an age of equality, right. Just as we will, we won't give girls crap about their weight or where their looks, et cetera. We can't give guys crap, crap about their height, except for , you know , we're bros. And then I'm going to make fun of him all the way . Cause I get made fun of how I'm , how fat I am by my bros. And guess what? It's all in. Good fun.
Speaker 4Aye .
Speaker 1I don't think
Speaker 4That's funny, but I think it's kind of ,
Speaker 1Can you crap about your rent air and you can't change that?
Speaker 4Oh yeah, sure. But I mean, I am, I have accepted that
Speaker 1And you can use hair dye. Yeah. But he forever will be red head . He's a, he's a day Walker
Speaker 4Jealous at all . It's simple because your people are dying out. Yeah. I'm okay.
Speaker 1Back to the store . I don't think so. I like red heads back to the store. So he says, I start talking to her, find out we play the same instruments, listen to the same music and have almost the same major. And in general, just hit it off. I knew that the biggie Eastern States exposition was coming up. So with liquid courage on my side, I decided to ask her to come with me there. She said, yes, what's the biggie. I have no idea. Eastern States exposition, will you look that up while I read the rest of this? Sure. Um, okay. So fast forward a few weeks later and we go to the biggie and I wonder if that's code for something. Mercy does say Eastern States exposition. So I mean like it's gotta be something real. And the whole night was perfect. We pulled in and parked just as the rain stopped, the place was dead. So I got to buy her some hot tea and a snack. While we sat and talked, we played games, went on rides and the Ferris will operate or stopped us at the top. We CA where we kissed because cliches are actually cool. I agree. Sometimes, you know, cliches are just the right thing after a great night of the fair . Oh. So I guess it's a kind of fair. We went back to my apartment and slept in each other's arms. We woke up the next morning and had a marvelous breakfast after that night, we decided to make it official all in all that was the best day of my life. But I'm still dating her to this day and it's been wonderful. Oh , bless them. Bless them and splash them. Yes . So the big E is new. England's great state. Okay. That's pretty cool. Yeah. New England's great state fair does the largest agricultural vent on the Eastern seaboard and the sixth largest fair in the nation. Hot down . So that is a big E I think the biggest fair is I bet. It's I bet it's the Texas state fair. Just to see when that would be it, it adds up like location-wise , it makes sense . It just makes sense. We'll have to battle with the Oregon Buckaroo little what? It's a back in Oregon and it's like a rodeo that they call the Buckaroo. I think at halls in about like 300 people here. I love it. It's pretty big for my town. Oh good. Oh, I love it. We'll have to go. We'll have to go into these days. Yeah . We'll hear . And go back here . My town, we have the pioneer day celebration, right? Cause this is an old pioneer town. So like the 24th here is as big as you're going to get. This is a big deal. It's a big deal to some people. So that's why this year when we had to cancel it, because a COVID like people were up in arms, man. Do you think it's bigger than peach days though? No. Oh no. I was going to say no, no, no. I'm saying like comparatively, that's just the biggest thing we have and it's super like , it's very small. I see. Oh, it's not big pioneer day as a whole is big, but like the pioneer day celebration here is, is minuscule comparatively, but we have a kick ass fireworks show. It's true. People come from miles around to see the fireworks. Come on down, come on up here. Maybe you want to live here. No, we don't want you to go away. Come see the fireworks and leave. Anyway, this is a great example of when you have the balls to do something about it and it actually works out for you, not a rare occur or not a common in this podcast.
Speaker 4I know that's good to hear, you know, I'm happy, you know what ? I'm happy. It worked out. I'm happy. They're still dating. Um, and uh, you know, it's , it's just nice to see some, see some workout every once in a while, you know, and it not end in disaster. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's , uh, it's good to have balance the yin and yang thing. Whereas , uh, what is, is, is the yin necessarily the good one is there? I don't, I do not feel comfortable even trying to explain it because I know I'm going to mess it up. Okay. I mean is , I think it's safe to say that yin and yang is about balance opposites . So I don't know if there's a good or a bad, I just think it's between one or the other. Okay. Fair. So let's say, you know, I , I won't even put names to it. You're in yang needs balanced to my in yang. So I have your balance right here in the form of my MIS if you're ready for that speaking of disaster, right? Yeah. Okay. You know what? I'm pumped up. I'm pretty happy. We had a good dinner. Good story. What's ruined all that good conversation. Yeah. Let's just mess it up. You know what? I want you to ruin my life. I want you to do it right now. Okay. Ready? Yeah. I'm I'm set. So this comes from a gal , uh, names have been changed obviously, but this is a, another Keith occurrence for us. Always, always my parents would often buy missionaries from my church over for dinner. They liked feeding them, but I also think they wanted me to occasionally have conversations with guys. So that whole, which, Hey, from a missionary perspective, we appreciate both the dinner and conversations with your daughter. Yeah , no ,
Speaker 5I'm sorry.
Speaker 4I'm not saying every missionaries out there like wrong. Right. I'm just saying like, we appreciate being able to feel normal with your family for a while . That's that's how we feel. Right. So one of these occasions, a missionary comes over with his companion obviously. And of course, of course, yes , him and I are visiting over dinner and he and I have a lot of similar interests and he seemed impressive, but he came off as cocky. Uh , the worst kind, they all do the smart, cocky. Like, it's not like, you know, there's like the physical, like the jock cocky, but then it was like the , well, actually that kind of cocky. And I wasn't, and I wasn't attracted to him after that. No way, man. That's a hard pass. It didn't help that he wasn't actually physically attractive either. Oh, well, well, you know what credit credit where credit's due. Thanks for bringing that up last, you know, established , I mean, at least they had like a personality thing going on now . I know seriously. I mean, at least we have that and Hey, you know, at least she waited until she was like, okay, we can't bond personally. Now I'll bring it up. He's not very, he's ugly. You know, that's two strikes and that's enough and more than enough. One strikes enough for health , Zack and most people. So thanks for giving him a chance and he ruined it. Oh no, just you wait. Oh yeah. I know . I'm, I'm excited. I'm super pumped. You know, me and how I feel about missionaries, even when I was one, a few, you know how I feel about myself? Yeah. Self-loving missionary a few weeks go by and he was getting moved to a different area. Uh , he came by and dropped a letter off for me at my parents' house. I had already gone back to college. So they called me and I had them read it to me over the phone. He said that he liked getting to know quote, peculiar people, unquote and gave me his email and asked me to write him. Okay. When you, when you were called a peculiar person, what's your first initial response to that? What do you think that person thinks of you? That person thinks that I am something to be studied . Ian might have Asperger's That's my immediate, that's my immediate response. When somebody calls me something like peculiar and Hey, the only reason I know that is because it's happened before guys, people have said that to you, or why did you peculiar? Oh, no, that I have Asperger's . Oh really? Oh yeah. That's rude. Well, it makes sense sometimes. I mean, you you've heard the rollercoaster tangent. I went off. I mean, what is a rollercoaster , but a really fast train. Thanks for , you know, you know, you know, autistic people in trains. There's a stereotype there I'm doing , you know, what the messed up part is. I'm too scared to take a test. Really. I don't want to do it. It's Cassidy. Cassidy hates it when I even suggested, because what she thinks I'm doing, which I might be, which means I'd be a sociopath. But what she thinks I'm doing is that I'm giving my peculiar aerate , peculiar peculiarities. Anyway, my, my, anyway , my weirdness I'm giving it an excuse. So my relatively unacceptable behavior is then excused by the fact that I might have a Asperger's or autism. And she thinks what I'm trying to do is make it, you know , get like, give myself that out. Right. So , so I can say anything I want, which I do anyway. You know that I just, I talk regardless of who or what and say the same thing, regardless of who or what's around me, but yeah. I'm too scared to take a test.
Speaker 3Yeah. See , that's a little,
Speaker 4When someone called me peculiar, I just thought they were just being nice and saying they weren't interested in me. Yeah . I mean, it's kind of like the same thing with a guy who's talking about a girl she's really sweet. Yeah. Right. She's got a great personality that old, she has a sweet spirit writes in spirit, but anyway, people continue flattery. Well, I'm sure some people think that's what it is. Continue on with this. Just
Speaker 1Do , this is a banger of a letter so far.
Speaker 4And he gave me his email and asked me to write him. So that's the short end of it. Uh , my parents were very excited about this and urged me to write him, which I did, but I don't know , lasted for about three emails and then faded away. So , uh, months go by. And I guess he had finished his mission because he added me on Snapchat, which also led to some very short, awkward conversations. So , uh,
Speaker 1There's a picture of just like him, like the camera below him. He's just looking down at it. He's like hair , the triple chin pick love it. Gotta love it. That's why he grow a beard
Speaker 4Throughout all of this. I tried to send all of the, I'm not interested vibes I could. And I thought it had worked until fast forward to my summer job. I had sort of a camp counselor gig going on where you worked with a lot of kids and you get set up with co counselors who've ever done anything like that.
Speaker 1Yeah . Um, I'd rather not discuss it here.
Speaker 4Okay. But you get, you get the thing, like, you're kind of like, you know, responsible for like 10 or 12 kids over a week and you have another adult there to help.
Speaker 1Totally. And everyone ships you two together. Yeah . If it's , if it's, you know, the PR , if it's the, the opposite sex or in this case, the sex that you're interested in, what have you,
Speaker 4Yeah. Usually the opposite , uh, you and your co-counselor spent a lot of time planning and talking out the kids together and what you have planned for them and just spend a lot of time together in general. In fact, it isn't uncommon for the kids in your group to try to ship together . You called it. I was going to ask you if you, like, I knew the shipping concept.
Speaker 1Yeah. For those of you who do not know what shipping is, it basically just means like, like you're, you're, you're putting them together. Like you're you want them to end up together like romantically. So you're putting two things together and you're shipping it off. Um, and so, you know, people, and this has been a thing since the Dawn of time. I mean, since people have seen to others who completely aren't interested in each other, but you're interested in it because you're the quote unquote matchmaker, right. Or unlike TV shows, when you say something , uh, similar to, Oh, I hope dr . So-and-so gets with the Rebecca or something, you know? And I mean, people have been doing that since forever. So that's what shipping is. And people are now sh I mean, people ship super weird things now, like they'll ship to people, call pairings with wine shipping.
Speaker 4Oh yeah. That just sounds like, that just sounds like wine. Mom's trying to relate to them .
Speaker 1One of the funniest things I ever saw was this Reddit thread from teachers, people who had been teachers. And the question was as a teacher, have you ever, had you shipped your students and everyone's answers like absolutely. Yes. Everyone sits there in class and they're you too .
Speaker 4You're going to be good together. And they're like, but we don't know each other. No , you love each other. Now kiss, ever since little girls have had dolls, they picked them up and they make them smoosh. That's what the shipping is. Everyone grade , each other's tests , except you Timmy and Sarah, you grade each other's papers. Why? Because do it because anyway, that's what, that's what shipping is. So yeah, we called that. Yeah. So anyway, I'm at the first meeting, a bunch of people there and there's, you know, we're just all getting to know each other and I'm looking around and who do I see? Elder it's elder key. I'm formerly Keith formerly elder. I'm going to read this a verbatim. Okay. Per batim no verbatim verbatim that data . I'm going to read this verbatim. No, no way. Absolutely not. There's at least another 40 to tear . And my luck isn't that bad, but deep in my stomach, I knew I was going to becoming counselors with him because of course I was dude, that's like sitting on a plane and you're sitting there. Imagine yourself, Alex, your ear, your , you know, you consider yourself relatively lucky. You got a good wife, nice house, pretty dog. Oh sure. You know, good job. You're sitting there on the airplane and everyone else, it appears to be full or for the most part. Right. Um, or at least that's what it says. But you look around and there's tons of empty seats around you. And you're like, well, I mean, this doesn't look like a full flight. And then you see someone who looks like me and you say to yourself, Oh, well, he's obviously going to take the 30 or 40 seats around me. Wow. And then as he approaches and passes every aisle up to you, you say no, no , no. Yeah. And then it's the point where he gets past like a certain row where you're like, yup. Yup. Does this is happening. And I sit down right next to you. And I just had a pickle and onion sandwich and it was delicious. No joke. I was on a small plane, like a two Cedar man . Like why were you on , Oh wait, like the rows were two seats. Why ? Oh, okay. I was, I flew out of like a small, small airport to a connecting flight and Oh my gosh, this woman brought her burger King onto the flight with her proceeded to get like three of the small, little like alcoholic drinks you can get on the plane and then fell asleep with her mouth, like open directly on me. So all I got was like Jack Daniels , burger King , Brett King , Abby for this like two hour flight. And I was like, you gotta be freaking kidding me. Like this is, this is the worst thing that's ever pressed us. And you know how you feel, girl, we know exactly how you feel. We've all been there. Um, please continue. And, and this is going to happen. I know it is. Yep . So, yup . Deep down my stomach. I knew I was going to be counselors with him because of course I was, I go to check the list where pairings are posted and sure enough, I'm with Keith. This proceeded to lead to a very annoying week of Keith telling the boys how he put himself out there a long time ago with me and how the ball was still in my court. I countered this by telling the girls that I was not interested. And if they even ask it ball like you play basketball or tennis, whatever court Keith , I've seen you on your bike with your inhaler, you don't play basketball. Yeah. I countered this by telling the girls that I was not interested in . And if they even thought about trying to set me up with him , I would hate it. And it would lead to violent ends. I'm going to tell everyone, if you, if you try to do this to me, kids, let me tell you something. I will tell everyone, well, you know what? I won't even tell him . I'll just have them catch you. I'm going to go buy a ton of alcohol and a ton of drugs. And I'm going to put it in your rooms. And I'm going to tell the leader of the counselors and he's gonna come and bust you. And I'm going to say, I didn't know anything about it. And guess what? They'll trust me because I'm the counselor or nine can end up like Friday the 13th and mrs . Four he's just goes crazy on everywhere . You know what the counselors were doing. They were making love why my boy had drowned. Well, you should have taught him how to swim. He was like 12. Yeah. Don't you guys live next to a Lake. You lady, am I crazy? Is your fault. I did my best to get through planning and conversations. But the week all around was probably the worst job experience I've ever had. I've been there, man. And you just know from the get go, it's going to suck. And every day feels like an eternity. I did my best to just not make eye contact or even speak with him. When we were with the kids, I stayed away as far as possible at all times. And even have tried to take a few personal days. I'm not sure what could be worse than working up close and personal with a guy who clearly can't take a hint from you to this day. My family still raves about him and wonders why I never gave him a proper chance. Thanks, mom and dad. It's how she signs off. Oh, I wonder why mom. I wonder why I hate that when people like love somebody, but deep down inside, you just know they like suck and you're like, why does no one else see this? Am I a bad guy? Am I just like too judgy ? And then like, everyone starts to be like, you know, it's really weird. How so? When ? So it was like Ludina and you're just like, yes, everyone hate him. I've had this exact conversation with Cassidy and I'm going to call her out right now. Cassidy is straight up distrustful of everyone until they give her a reason to not be. And you know what, it's, it's a good strategy for her. It's worked out because you're either right. Or pleasantly surprised that you watched like a lot of walking dead as a kid.
Speaker 3Yes she did.
Speaker 4Yes she did. And now that you bring that up, she absolutely did. She loves that show. Hey, it's a , it was a good show for the first two seasons first season, after that it got terrible and I will, I will fight anyone on that. You liked the second season, the whole time at the farmhouse . I mean, it's BS . It's guns. It's not though. It wasn't zombies. There were no zombies. There was bombies in like the first and last episode and then a fat one in a well, yeah,
Speaker 3Yeah. Okay. You're right.
Speaker 4This isn't a Hill I'm willing to die on. You know , I don't care enough about it to , I don't care enough about it to die on the Hill. I'm sorry. I know. You're fine. I think you're right. I just get mad . I just, she , I mean, maybe it's just the fight I'm used to having with her. Right? Cause she loves this show reflects that it is. It's like automatically I have to be, I have to be on the defensive you're right. You're absolutely right. Oh man. But I mean, I already hate, like, I don't know. Can you imagine like doing a job? Like, I don't know . She sounds like she likes her job, but can you imagine like doing a job you already don't really enjoy and then having the person that's like constantly try to get with you and then you have to be with them that whole week or no, I'll even make it more relatable. There's that coworker that everyone doesn't want to be around with and you always end up getting paired with that person. And you're just like, I hate you. I hate my life. It's not that I hate him. I just don't want him to be alive anymore. That's all. No , I get it. Well, and here's the thing and this is , this might be like a , I mean, we can apply it to other stuff besides just missionaries. Right? Bowsher it's just any creepy guy. Right? Right . There's this automatic assumption from their end that they just feel that they're deserving. And so from a missionary perspective, right. We saw it all the time because we saw they're like, I went on a mission. I deserve any girl I want because I went through this hard thing. Uh , those ones, you know, and, and that's, you know, that's why I'm doing this. And so, you know, in compared to only talked about it a couple of weeks ago, that guy who had his own business and you know, his own place and whatnot, and he just, he just thought he was the best. And he just thought he deserved the respect and mutual admiration that , that he so craved because of his accomplishments, dude, it's a, it's a , again, this is pretty cheesy. Everyone's like a, relationship's 50, 50, you know , it's a hundred percent and a hundred percent, you're each, you each need to give a hundred percent. And if that person isn't feeling it, it doesn't matter how much
Speaker 1You've done or how much you think you've accomplished. If they don't like you, they don't like you, you don't deserve anything. You're not entitled to their admiration.
Speaker 4Yeah. I don't know if he necessarily thought I was entitled. I think he was just stupid. Well, I couldn't take a hint.
Speaker 1Yeah. And we , maybe we can disagree on that. I just think, but maybe from the offset, right. They just, I feel like they feel entitled. They feel entitled to a woman from, from the Lord or, or in this case, or even from like a woman's stance. If a woman's accomplished a lot, you know, I , I, because I'm a woman and because I've accomplished this much , I immediately deserve the admiration of my peers. No , you don't. You don't, you , if you don't deserve the admiration of your peers or of the individual who you love, just because of what you've accomplished. And just because what you feel like it's a hundred percent what the other person feels. And if you're not, if you continue to tailor your relationships towards just yourself, you're going to find out that your relationships don't last and they're unfulfilling. It's sad. Right . Because you're your own girlfriend.
Speaker 4I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own boyfriend. We have to go back to the future. It's sad. But yeah, I think it's just weird about this story in particular, we've had a couple like this, but it's like the time span of it all too. It's like, he continues to go. Like, I want to know what's happening in between these periods. Like, I don't know between the emails and between the Snapchats and just not know anybody else. I don't know if it's like, he's constantly getting in and out of relationships and then volleying back. Yeah. Like every guy, you know, I won't say every guy, but it's common. Most of us , a girl. That's like the fallback plan. Yeah. No, I feel like the beat here . Right. And so maybe this was just one of those scenarios and he just didn't want to accept that she didn't want to be his B tier plan.
Speaker 1Yeah. And also, yeah, like we talked to about , I don't remember when we talked about this, but we had a good laugh about it, but we we've talked about like, who are you to make me be like, plaid would be how I am. How am I the fallback? First of all, you don't even, you have no right to even make me a front runner, let alone a fallback. You garbage human.
Speaker 4How did your mom meet ? Oh , well my plan didn't work out, but mom was assaulted. Second line
Speaker 1Solid. Like she was, she was up there.
Speaker 4Yeah, man. She did great. And you know, after various emails and Snapchat spread out over like a year, it , it worked out. Cause I just kept asking, even though she made it clear, she wasn't interested. Yeah .
Speaker 1I don't know . And maybe, and maybe you're right on the he's stupid thing. He just doesn't, he just doesn't understand. Or he can't take a hint
Speaker 4And maybe I'm just being too sympathetic. Maybe I'm just like, Oh, he's, it's not a bad thing to be sympathetic. Right. But I mean, there are, we see point in point again, of scenarios where guys really are just intentionally being garbage, entitled people.
Speaker 1No. And for sure. And when I think free for you, gentlemen, if it is the case that you feel stupid or you feel ignorant, unfortunately there's not much we can do with the sense of entitlement. You just have to humble yourself seriously. And, and the one thing that on humble people will, will not do is humble themselves. It's one of it's like the mission or whatever experience you want to call it. They can do two things to you. Um, or like college or like going through a really bad breakup, going through very emotionally distressing periods can do one of two things. They will either make you humble and you can learn or two , you can come out more prideful and more and worse than you were even before you entered that situation. And unfortunately, for a lot of people, it's the latter . They come out and they think, because they've done this or they've gone through this. They, you know, they they're the best and they did nothing wrong and nothing has ever happened sometimes. Hey, you didn't do anything wrong. Right. But if you're not willing to learn the lessons, then I'm sorry. But like I said, relationships are going to be unfulfilling for you. But if you think you're stupid and sometimes I feel like I'm stupid and I definitely didn't relationship. If you feel like you're stupid. And you're wondering if you're not picking up on our hints correctly, tell you what. And again, there's always going to be the outliers. We always hear about the outliers. Or I knew this one guy, well , let me tell you what in data , uh , that's what we call anecdotal evidence and it is not sufficient. So in general, let me tell you something, you reach out to her and she talks to you, et cetera, et cetera. If you're the one doing the reaching out, try to get back, just hold back just a little bit and see if she reaches out to you. Um, in general, most of the time, if she reaches back out to you, you are taking the hints correctly in that she's still relatively interested, or she still wants to be around you. If you go a week or two without hearing from her, most likely she's not interested, bud. She's just not. Or he, what have you and the issue. And a lot of people say, well, some people are bad texters or some people want , dude, if you, if you are not on their mind constantly or not, it doesn't have to be constantly right. Two weeks go by. If you're not on their mind and it doesn't pass you , then I'm sorry, but they missed out and they're not interested. That's fair. Um , and that, and that's just a general rule of thumb. I mean ,
Speaker 4Compare the two stories, compare the hug and the MIS you know, both guys are initiating, correct. This guy didn't, I don't know the exact details. Whereas if this guy really asked her to hang out or not, that wasn't really in the story, I assume he did, but sort of the first guy, you know , there's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but it's just the way that they responded, but this girl was interested and they went and they had a great time and this girl avoided him, just wasn't did isn't about, and you know, that's like, that's, I just feel like that's the overall message. You know, you just read their responses. And I think that was a good rule that you implied, you know, if you wait and you don't hear back from them, then it's probably okay to assume that you can move on to a different person. Absolutely. And if they reach out and say, Hey, where have you been? Why didn't you talk to me? And you're just very easy. You can just say, well, I just wanted to see if, you know, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't overwhelming you. Or I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't annoying you or something, you know, and you know, don't pout about it. Don't be like, well, I guess you just don't have time for me, like in that couple episodes ago. Cause you just don't have time for me. Don't pout. Just be honest and just say, listen, I just wanted to see if I was annoying you. Or if we had some kind of connection and if you reached out to me, it was just gonna , um, I didn't want to be overbearing. Right. Because a lot of the time being overbearing can be a turn off. It's always a turn off . Oh yeah. I've never, I've never heard someone say I was attracted to their overbearing. This , you know what? You're 100% right now. I feel stupid for not now. I feel stupid for having said it. Yes. Well, no, I didn't mean to like call you out. I just, in my personal experience, maybe some people are into that. I don't know . I think you're right. I don't want to make assumptions right on target. Maybe you're into that. If you're a couple who likes being over bared by the other person, if that's what you like, stop calling me. Uh, but yeah, calling me, it's like , yeah, it's a good , uh, I mean, it's just a good rule of thumb. Right? And like I said, there's always outliers. There's always anecdotal evidence where like, yo , well my one friend who didn't text her back for three weeks, they found each other at Baskin Robbins or something. And then they got together and they've been together ever since. Okay, sure. Whatever. I'm just saying for every one of those stories you hear, there are 10 other stories that you don't hear about something that fell through because the other person didn't message back or didn't get in contact with him. That's just a call back to the teacher, putting the two kids together in class. That's just God making both those people want Baskin Robbins on the same day. Yeah . Yeah. He's not doing that for everyone. It's just that one group of kids in that class. Yeah . He's just super interested in these two right now. And Hey, maybe he'll get interested in you and see someone he likes with you. Otherwise he's just going to leave it up to you man. He's like, yeah, no , that, one's kind of on a , that one's kind of on a rotation. It's kind of like when , uh, you know, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were doing their thing, but that's not super great example. Cause I guess they're divorced now. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. But I mainly , I don't keep up with that. I know I should, but I read it on the internet like months and months ago for all I know that could be back together and have adopted more children who carbs are the enemy, you know? Um,
Speaker 1But uh, yeah. I mean, this is, it's sad to say because you hate to say it. You hate to see you hate to see it, but this is like an opportunity where you could have had a lot of fun. Right. But not only is your potential relationship ruined because this person has entered themselves into the gate. But I mean, your job experience was kind of tarnished. Yeah . Now you're ruining my work like that. So, which is why I would recommend trying to avoid relationships with people you work very closely with. Oh, it's the worst. Um , but again, there's always outliers and there's always , uh , anecdotal evidence. Right. And I say, we don't talk about those on hugs and misses because they're outliers. And I only chalk talk to the general public. Yes. Because that's who listens you normies we're we're so smart. Um, I, I don't know. I have nothing really else to say about this, except for don't be dumb guys. Take the hint for you, gals. Um, you know, try to avoid places where there'll be. I guess if you don't like dating men, don't go around them. That's victim blaming. Sorry. Sorry. You have to, sorry. You have to endure our stupidity at times, but unfortunately I have to listen to, unfortunately we are part of society. You can change the episode. You can delete this from your phone. Oh yeah. That's a good point too. You don't have to. Oh yeah. You don't have to listen to hear right. I mean, it's hear me hear me. I think that's the correct. Well , him and me, I think it's, you don't have to listen to it . You don't have to listen to me and him, me and him. I think that's the right way to say it. The King and I, cause I don't say you don't have to listen to, I, you don't have to listen to us. There you go. I mean, just say that that works out even better. You see, you're still listening. Should we make this one of those , uh , SMR podcast ? Uh , very soft stories into the microphone. I was 15 years old when I first discovered that the internet wasn't just for looking up math questions, look up B E w B S B cubes cubes . Don't do it. Don't do it. Kids get your parents' permission before going online. Get your parents before you searched for view . That'll explain where you're trying to ruin their lives. And I think no kidding. Seriously. Thanks. Thanks internet. You saw you've saved and killed a generation, but that's all the time we have today on hugs and misses. If you have a good dating story or a bad dating story, a hug or a miss, please feel free to send it to us on any of the social media platforms that we're on or email us@hugsandmissespodcastatgmail.com . That's hugs and misses podcasts spelled out@gmail.com. And with that, Alex have a fabulous night. My friend Rose some beefs peeps.
Speaker 4Bye. Thanks for joining us on
Speaker 6[inaudible] .
Speaker 4What do we want to do for the outro joke thing? Yeah. Okay.