EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

If you've ever found yourself tiptoeing through your own home, rehearsing conversations to avoid triggering an explosion, or even putting a lock on your bedroom door for protection—you're not alone. Today's conversation with Dina Cannizzaro, Hopestream's Director of Education, confronts the uncomfortable reality so many parents face: how profoundly we normalize dangerous situations when our child struggles with substances.

Dina brings battle-tested wisdom from parenting her son Parker through nine years of IV heroin use (now nine years sober) and coaching hundreds of families through similar chaos. She shares the exact phrases that helped her reclaim emotional safety, the incremental boundary-setting approach that actually works, and why maintaining your sanctuary matters more than keeping an artificial peace.

This episode offers concrete strategies for those moments when you realize you're living in cognitive friction—simultaneously loving someone while feeling unsafe around them. Dina's approach alchemizes tough love into something more nuanced: fierce protection of the relationship itself, not just the person.

You'll learn:

• The exact phrase to use when verbal abuse erupts (and why repetition matters)
• How to distinguish between privacy and safety when deciding about bedroom locks
• Why leaving your home during conflict might signal defeat—and what to do instead
• The incremental boundary approach that builds your confidence from dishwasher disputes to dealbreakers
• Why confiscating substances from your teen's room isn't overstepping (it's parenting)
• The difference between emotional safety and physical safety—and why you deserve both
• How to humble yourself without sacrificing dignity after heated exchanges

As always when we get to have Dina on the podcast, it's a note-taking worthy hour you do not want to miss.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Episode 138 with Dina: Creating Conditions For Change
• The Chinese Farmer Hopestream episode 173 with Dina Cannizzaro
• Partnership to End Addiction - free resources for families 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

When a young person you love is struggling with substances or challenging behaviors, the instinct to fix everything can feel overwhelming. In this illuminating conversation, marriage and family therapist Todd Sarner brings decades of attachment science into sharp focus, and offers a roadmap for parents navigating the turbulent waters of adolescence. 

Drawing from his training with Dr. Gordon Neufeld and other attachment pioneers, Todd reveals why our kids' most hurtful behaviors often mask their deepest needs for connection. We explore the delicate dance between holding firm boundaries and maintaining compassion – what Todd beautifully describes as being both the "agent of futility" (clear limits) and the "angel of comfort" (empathy). We unpack why teenagers simultaneously push us away while desperately needing our presence, and how parents can invest in their own nervous systems to weather these storms.

Perhaps most powerfully, Todd reminds us that attachment isn't about perfection – research shows secure relationships miss connection bids 50-60% of the time. It's about showing up consistently, even imperfectly, with the understanding that our love remains the most powerful intervention we have.

You'll learn:

• Why sensitive kids often present as tough and disconnected – and how "defensive detachment" protects them from the pain of unmet connection needs
• The critical difference between punishment and boundaries, and how to communicate limits while preserving relationship
• How to navigate the teenage paradox: their biological drive for independence colliding with their continued need for guidance and safety
• Practical nervous system regulation techniques (including 4-7-8 breathing) that help parents stay grounded during explosive moments
• Why investing in your own self-care isn't selfish – it's essential preparation for holding space during your child's struggles
• The power of "bridging" – maintaining connection even through conflict, letting your child know that nothing can change your love for them

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Transformative Parenting website
• Todd’s Instagram

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

 ABOUT THE EPISODE: 

In this episode Cathy and I discuss unique skills from the business world that can be applied to our relationships - especially one with a struggling teen or young adult who is misusing substances and has mental health challenges. 

I share a surprising learning I picked up from reading a book about hostage negotiation (you may even be able to relate to that kind of situation) and we dig into why it’s important for parents not to take your child’s actions and behaviors too personally. We tie this all into the CRAFT approach (of course) and I give a first hand account of how skills like SURF communication can be applied with anyone in your world, not just your struggling child.

EPISODE RESOURCES: 

• Never Split the Difference - negotiating as if your life depends on it, by Chris Voss 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

If someone in your life has an unhealthy relationship with drugs and/or alcohol, you likely already know my guest for today’s episode - Amber Hollingsworth. Amber hosts the wildly popular YouTube channel, “Put The Shovel Down,” with nearly 1 million subscribers. 

Amber and I sat down to talk about her addiction-riddled family of origin, and the best advice she gives family members from her two-plus decades in the field of addiction counseling. We cover what to do if parents aren’t on the same page about their child’s substance use, her thoughts on how to navigate a child and a partner or spouse’s addiction at the same time, whether she believes in “rock bottom,” and so much more. 

Amber is a passionate and delightful human who clearly cares about anyone struggling with substances (and their family members) - as evidenced by her 1,000+ free YouTube videos that serve as a lifeline for so many in this difficult position. 

You’ll learn:

• How Amber got started in the field of addiction counseling with a group of teens and zero experience
• Where to start first if your child and spouse are both struggling with substances
• Why Amber believes in “moments of clarity” rather than “rock bottom”
• The difference between a parent’s punishment and the world’s consequences

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• • Put The Shovel Down YouTube Channel
  • Family Recovery Academy - Amber’s Organization, Hope For Families

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

 ABOUT THE EPISODE: 

When your friend or family member has a child struggling with mental health and substance use, it can feel awkward and difficult to know how to help support them. This episode is meant to be a resource for learning ways that you can be helpful, not hurtful, when your friend or family member is experiencing a parenting crisis.

I share some common misperceptions about addiction and substance use, talk about the latest science on motivation and change, and give real examples of what you can do to help. It’s a practical guide to give you ideas and new information about substance use, mental health and navigating the hardest parenting season. 

EPISODE RESOURCES: 

• Understanding Youth Substance Use & Addiction: A Primer for Family Members - download here
• Dr. Anna Lembke on Hopestream episode 110

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Trevor Hanson had accumulated a pretty good life - from living on a beach in Hawaii, to getting a great job at Tesla and engaged to be married. One year later, he was unemployed, his engagement and his jaw were both broken, and he was living alone in the Reno desert.

Trevor suffered depression, nightmares, and suicidal thoughts before deciding to seek therapeutic help. He developed a real appreciation for the process of therapy – but he also had ideas about how it could be better.

Today, Trevor holds a master's degree in marriage and family therapy and has helped thousands of people around the world, specializing in a topic critical for everyone, especially parents, to understand: attachment. Trevor has undergone training from some of the world’s top attachment experts, and today he brings his expertise and unique concepts to the podcast.

When I sat down with Trevor, we discussed the basic types of attachment styles, why our ‘style’ can lead to difficulties in relationships with our kids, and why being part of a supportive community is a vital part of helping us move from anxious or avoidant attachment, to secure.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Secure Self Club

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

We've all been there. A tense or heated conversation where something flies out of your mouth that you don't really mean, or you inflict your 'help' when it's not wanted or needed. You might, at times, find yourself solving a problem that has nothing to do with you, or you give well-intentioned advice to someone who will never, ever take it.

Enter our favorite Hopestream tool...the Lip Clip. A metaphorical device that prevents you from jumping in when you should really stay back, and gives you a magical opportunity to observe before acting. The problem is, when and how do you use the Lip Clip to its maximum effectiveness?

In this episode, you'll learn what situations the Lip Clip is best suited for, how to apply it so you get the most out of it, and, importantly, when and how not to use it. As always, Cathy and I give personal examples from our lives and you'll walk away with a clear idea of how you can put this powerful little tool to use with a challenging child, or anyone in your life who tends to trigger you to act in ways you'd rather not.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Hopestream episode with Dr. Mark McConville - Getting Unstuck From Failure To Launch Mode (ep. 51)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Substance use and recovery can shift every aspect of a young person's life - even the faith that has been deeply ingrained in someone’s upbringing.  Parents often have visions and expectations of their child's lives, and for parents of faith, that usually includes a life of shared values and traditions.  So what happens when our kids choose differently?

My guest today, Heather Frazier, only developed ideas about this when her own children not-so-politely exited the family's religious practice. Her advice has striking similarities to our advice to parents of kids struggling with substance use: maintaining healthy, open relationships while learning to let go of expectations and abandoning a false sense of control.

In this episode, Heather explains the "dangerous two-part cocktail" of unhealed wounds and ego. We discuss the fullness of God's plan for our family's lives, how looking inward can change our perspective, and how a distorted view of traditional Christianity may contribute to the feelings of being not-enough that often fuel substance misuse.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Heather’s website
• Pivot Parenting Podcast

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

When Ed and Mary Ternan finally met the police officer who had been on scene at their son's overdose death, he had an off-the-record theory: "This is not official, and you'll have to wait for toxicology to come back, but this is going to be fentanyl," the officer told them.

News about the synthetic opioid is inescapable today, but in 2020, the couple had never heard of it. Charlie was a popular, successful student with no substance use issues. How could this have happened?

As it turned out, Charlie was Santa Clara County's seventh fentanyl death in only 10 days. Suffering occasional pain from back surgery a year earlier, Charlie had taken a single counterfeit pill purchased from a dealer ("plug") on Snapchat.

Incredibly, it took less than two months for Ed and Mary Ternan to found a nonprofit dedicated to awareness and education about the skyrocketing deaths from accidental fentanyl overdose. In this episode, we trace the lessons we can learn from Charlie's story, the storm of circumstances that has placed young people in such danger, and how to reach both kids and parents in specific ways.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Song For Charlie website
• Bandcamp page for Song For Charlie (download the song here)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

It’s hard to come to terms with how little control we have over whether our kids choose recovery or remain in an unhealthy lifestyle. In this episode, you’ll get to hear from Dina Cannizzaro, a mom who has been through hell and back (more than once), but has channeled all that fear and anxiety into taking actionable steps toward relearning how to connect with her son and how to harness the surprising power of self-care. 

You’ll hear how far she and her son Parker have come now that he’s in long-term recovery. You’ll also hear how she had to repair relationships she let suffer (including her other children) as she became all-consumed in her fear and efforts to support her son. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why Dina chose to push through her crippling fear of rock climbing
• How she invested in the relationship with her son, even when he wasn’t ready to be in contact
• What anticipatory grief is and how it showed up in Dina’s life
• What helped Dina realize she was just as sick as Parker, but without the influence of substances
• Why she won’t stop sharing her story with anyone who will listen

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Dina’s website
• How to access free Narcan

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

It’s the season parents often dream of - their high school senior has successfully walked the stage and they’re now packing the family car to make the ceremonial drive to the four-year university their family goes to. They’ll do Parent Weekend, buy the sweatshirt and bumper sticker and wave their child off until they see them at Thanksgiving.

But it doesn’t go like that for everyone, and it sometimes feels like a facade if your child is on their way to a four-year university when they may be better suited for a community college - or a treatment program.

Cathy and I sat down to talk about this very difficult transition period for parents - discussing various reasons why parents hesitate to change plans last minute when their budding college student shows signs they may be headed in the wrong direction, the pressure parents are under at this time, and of course, our personal experience and insights. We also share what parents can be looking for in the senior year of high school and the summer before beginning college, as well as options there are for kids in this tricky season.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Success is Subjective podcast
• Treatment locator - AllKindsOfTherapy.com 
• Assoc. Of Recovery in Higher Education - Collegiate Recovery Programs

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In this summer 'from the vault' episode I'm resharing an impactful interview with Dr. Mark McConville, a clinical psychologist specializing in adolescents and young adults. We discuss:

• Strategies for parents to transition from directive parenting into a consultant role
• How to offer wisdom while allowing your child to take the initiative
• The difference between enabling and supporting
• How pre-competence might look like incompetence and what to do about it
• The value of thinking through the worst-case scenario
• Practical examples of limits and setting expectations with a not-yet-launched teen or young adult
• And the critical importance of maintaining a supportive relationship

We also explore the challenges and anxieties that young adults face, as well as the benefits of non-authoritarian guidance. As always, we share practical tips and personal anecdotes that will give you ideas for strategies to foster independence and resilience in your child.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Failure to Launch: Why Your Twentysomething Hasn't Grown Up...and What to Do About It - buy here
• Dr. McConville's website

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

A fresh new, 'from-the-vault' episode that is as relevant today as it was in 2022!

Navigating life with a young person who’s misusing substances and struggling with mental health can feel like a ride in a very stormy sea. Parents need to be well-equipped for the journey, but often aren’t sure what the mandatory, life-saving provisions are to bring along. 

In this episode, Cathy Cioth, Hopestream Community co-founder, joins me to share our top six recommended provisions for parents as you navigate the turbulence that comes with a challenging child. We identify the items we wish we’d had in our lifeboat when we started our expedition, so you can be better prepared.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Our six recommended provisions:

1. Beyond Addiction Workbook for Friends and Family Members
2. Invitation to Change Guide
3. A journal - Cathy’s favorite is Day One
4. A Bible or other spiritual reference, like Jesus Calling
5. A token or other physical item that grounds you and brings you peace and calm
6. A personal trainer and chef like Blue Apron or Hello Fresh

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In this 'from the vault' episode of Hopestream (originally episode #100), I share my journey since launching the podcast in January 2020 and curated the top 11 learnings and insights I gleaned from my incredible guests. If you want a lot of bang for your buck, this is the episode for you.

I dive deep into topics such as letting go of control, embracing discomfort, practicing radical acceptance, and fostering open communication. I emphasize the profound influence we as parents have on our children and the transformative power of self-care and presence. And good news, this episode also comes with a downloadable PDF summarizing the insights discussed and links to resources - we've done the work for you.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Download the episode PDF with all 11 insights plus links to resources mentioned

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

Need a way to better navigate even the most challenging conversations? 

Over time, I've learned that making a request of someone can go south quickly when you don't know how to set it up properly. In this "from-the-vault" episode from my 2021 archives (perfect for our summer slowdown while I recharge between recording sessions), I share one of my absolute favorite communication frameworks that you can learn in 30 minutes and start using within hours.

The SURF technique—known in traditional CRAFT terminology as "positive communication" provides a practical conversation framework for those moments when you need to make a request of your child, especially during tense or emotionally charged situations. Whether you're asking them to apply for jobs, respect curfew, follow through on treatment commitments, or just empty the dishwasher, this approach helps you move from power struggles to problem-solving...together.

If you're the type of parent who can solve any problem or crisis but feels completely powerless when your child yells back at you or slams the door on you mid-sentence, this episode is for you. 

I'll break down each element of the SURF framework with real examples, plus I give you five concrete tips for implementation that acknowledge the messy reality of family life.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

In this episode from the vault, I draw from my own experiences to share four counterintuitive strategies that can transform relationships and encourage healing when you're parenting a young person struggling with substance use and mental health. 

I emphasize the importance of asking questions instead of giving commands, focusing on self-reflection rather than solely on your child, trusting a higher power, and broadening your perspective to see the bigger picture. 

I've also included recommendations for books, podcasts, and exercises to support you on this challenging journey, promising hope and community support along the way.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Episode 22 with Krissy Pozatek
• Dr. Brad Reedy's podcast, services & books
• Beyond Addiction book and workbook
• Episode 3 & 136 with Carrie Wilkens Ph.D.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

This week I’m bringing back an episode from 2020 that is just as relevant today as it was then. The episode covers ten hard truths parents need to face when you recognize potential substance use, or if you know you’re dealing with an addiction. 

It’s a great episode for those who are new to the experience of having your child dabble in or become dependent on substances, and there are also truths that apply to the seasoned parent who’s been at this for a while.

This is a straight-forward, lay-it-all-out-there episode that I hope will bring a sense of urgency if you’ve been floundering with what to do, and encourage you to share it with a friend if someone you know is in the early stages of, “what do I do!?” with their child or children.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Download the show PDF resource doc here

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

It's summer and we're diving deep into the Hopestream episode vault to bring you some listener faves and a few that just work when you need connection and understanding. Today, you'll hear about The Secret Menu, originally aired in August of 2023 - with the addition of a new story and insights.

Sometimes you can gain a different understanding of things by looking at them through a new lens. This bite-size episode does that for you as the parent of a young person who struggles with substances and mental health - in the form of a short story.

You'll hear about a restaurant owner and her strange, secret menu. And for those who eat from it, it can provide benefits and gifts not available anywhere else.

It's one you may want to single-task for to absorb the full meaning. Created with love and compassion by me, just for you. 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Figuring out your evolving role as a parent during your child’s adolescence is difficult, even if you aren’t dealing with substance misuse. The natural inclination to protect and nurture is already being challenged by your child’s growing sense of autonomy. You’re told to step back, control less, and allow them to make their own mistakes.  

So, for parents of kids who are misusing substances and struggling with mental health, this process is especially agonizing. How do you walk the line between healthy support and “enabling?”  How do you, as a parent, even understand your own role anymore? 

Thankfully, my guest today has lots of answers.

Beth Hillman’s 16-year-old son attended a wilderness treatment program at the age of 16. Immediately afterward, he informed her that he would continue using.  Today, Beth is a double-certified life and parent coach who brings her lived experience to other families through a podcast, private and online coaching, and workshops. She has not only lived in the trenches, but has also helped many other families who found themselves navigating a painfully difficult path.

In this episode, we discuss specific, actionable ways to understand what it means to be a parent during this challenging time, ideas for building the scaffolding of both boundaries and safe spaces for our kids, avoiding power struggles with curiosity, and what it actually means to “meet kids where they are.”  

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Beth Hillman Coaching website
• Parenting Post Wilderness podcast

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In part two of this two-part episode, Cathy and I dive deep into two more of those sneaky, often invisible struggles that so many of us experience when parenting through substance use and mental health challenges.

PART TWO:

In part two, we marvel at and empathize with you when it comes to the insane learning curve parents face when their child is experimenting with or addicted to substances and facing mental health issues. We faced it ourselves and proudly wear our honorary Real Life Research Ph.D.'s. 

We then share the very real feeling of doubt and acknowledge how it can reach far beyond just parenting. This experience can knock you off your feet and make your world feel like a movie set - we get it, and we're here to talk about it. 

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• All Kinds Of Therapy - treatment and resource locator: www.allkindsoftherapy.com
• Dr. Gabor Maté website
• Hopestream podcast episode with Dr. Maté (episode 131)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

Sometimes, the hardest parts of our journey are the feelings we can't quite put our finger on, when you can tell something feels off but can't really articulate exactly what's wrong. In this two-part episode, Cathy and I dive deep into four of those sneaky, often invisible struggles that so many of us experience when parenting through substance use and mental health challenges.

PART ONE:

In part one, we cover the kind of grief that doesn't get a funeral, the common response of hypervigilance and the exhaustion it creates, we share personal stories about the physical toll this emotional marathon has taken on us, and the importance of giving yourself permission to feel it all.

Key Takeaways:

• You're not crazy, wrong, or alone in experiencing these hidden struggles
• Grief for dreams and expectations is real grief, even when your child is alive
• The difference between helpful vigilance and exhausting hypervigilance
• Practical strategies for managing overwhelming emotions without numbing them
• Why your nervous system needs intentional care and how to provide it

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

At times it can be confusing for parents of teens and young adults who are misusing substances to tease apart the concept of acceptance vs. the act of accepting. In this solo episode, I help distinguish the two and give examples of why it’s so important to both accept this part of your life while at the same time keep yourself safe, healthy and sane through being clear on what you will and will not be accepting of. 

I dive into the complex paradox of balancing love and acceptance with limits and loving our kids unconditionally while setting necessary boundaries. You’ll hear a Buddhist parable that may help you reframe some of your suffering, and I share a personal story of a time when I finally got the balance right on acceptance vs. accepting.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Episode 138 with Dina Cannizzaro
• Tara Brach website
• Pungent Boundaries, Nancy Landrum

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Henry Maxwell began drinking and smoking marijuana at 12 and by 17, was an IV heroin & cocaine user. Not long afterward, his experimentation expanded to nearly every scheduled drug he could find, from Xanax to amphetamines and highly unregulated substances like ‘spice’. His teen years were largely spent among serious drug users twice his age, and involved many of the traumatic experiences common in that high-risk lifestyle.

At the age of 17, Henry was hospitalized for a cocaine overdose that mimicked the symptoms of a heart attack, leaving him afraid for his own life. When an attending nurse asked if he was interested in treatment, he knew he had to say yes, or he wouldn’t make it to see his 21st birthday.

To this day, Henry has only worked in one field: addiction and recovery. He now has a BA in psychology and certifications in mediation, intervention, and addiction.  Through Maxwell Recovery Services, he has dedicated his professional life to helping families where a young person is struggling with substance misuse or addiction.

In this episode, we discuss the complexities of topics like intervention and return to use, how parents can craft longer-term strategies that look beyond daily crises, and the importance of support systems for the entire family.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Maxwell Recovery Services website
• Man’s Search For Meaning on Amazon 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In this episode, I offer what might feel like slightly brutal truths if you're parenting a young person who struggles with substances and mental health challenges. I emphasize the importance of self-preservation for parents, noting that while you cannot force lasting change in your child or children, you can create the best conditions to foster it. 

I discuss the "self-preservation continuum" - the balance between being fully (overly) involved in your child's recovery and maintaining personal health and sanity. I also provide practical tools you can focus on when you have no idea what to do, and highlight the destructive impact of fear when it dominates. 

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Hopestream episode 8: Don’t Let Your Child’s Addiction Kill Your Dreams and Passions

Hopestream episode 58: Four Counterintuitive Things To Do When You’re Overwhelmed By Your Child’s Substance Use or Emotional Challenges

Insight Timer meditation: Your Special Room

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

We’re back with another episode of the ‘Cathy & Brenda Show’, and this week we tackle a topic we see recurring in our community and the parents we work with…achievement-oriented parenting. As two recovering perfectionists ourselves, Cathy and I both share examples of what it looks like to be achievement-focused when your child (or children) struggle with substances and mental health. We talk about the tendency some of us have to want everything on the outside to look a certain way, even when that’s doing damage to our kids, and how it can feel scary to apply self-compassion in fear of getting ‘weak’ or ‘soft.’

We discuss the internal battles many of us face about wishing our kids would just “get it together” and how the Invitation To Change approach can help us instead look at them with compassionate curiosity to understand their behavior instead of punishing it. We also tap into two of our favorite authors and researchers, Dr. Kristin Neff and Jessica Lahey.

If you identify as a problem solver, list-checker, task doer, results-focused person…this is your episode. We even go on a tangent or two, but promise you’ll be able to relate.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Dr.Kristin Neff’s website
• Jessica Lahey’s website and Hopestream podcast episode #163

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.