We Solved Sam's Problems Ft. T-Cav

What's in here:
• Sam's struggle with saving money
• The pressure of attending a costly bachelor party
• T-Cav's return - he's a plumber now
• Exploring the emotional costs of friendship
• Discussing the complexities of relationships and partnerships
• The importance of contributions in a relationship
• Sam's hesitations about dating and commitments
• Humor and heart in navigating adulthood

0:00 Financial Planning and Lifestyle Choices
11:08 Budgeting and Gambling in Vegas
18:39 Friendship, Responsibilities, and Life Choices
28:49 Navigating Relationships and Parenthood
39:25 Motivation and Life Choices
47:36 Convincing Sam to Date
59:55 Monopoly Ruins Relationships

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Transcript

Financial Planning and Lifestyle Choices

Kody 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the ONTAP podcast . You got me Cody , my short-peckered friend Sam , and our good friend Mitch . Just kidding , it's T-Cav joining us in the studio again today after a long hiatus . It's been a long break . It has been a long break . T-cav is a plumber now . His ass crack is out right now , at this moment , can confirm .

Kody 0:20

It's part of the license you got to have a plumber .

Kody 0:23

Is that when you're getting your license ?

Kody 0:26

No , it's when you apply . You have to have a good plumber Turn around . Yeah .

Kody 0:29

It's part of the interview . Your pants are too tall and take off that belt . All right , you're good , that's pretty much it .

Kody 0:36

That's how I got the job I think we're going to need you to gain 50 pounds .

Kody 0:46

You , you're a little skinny , all right . So , boys , today's episode is going to be all of just one big therapy session . I think we're gonna discuss what problems are in our life right now , and then we're just right now at the round table , at the actually this corner table . We're going to work through the problems with each other and solve solve the world's issues right now yeah , I absolutely .

Sam 1:04

You know , I think there's no better way to work out your personal problems and with your boys live on camera and I just I've got a couple things I've been trying to work out and sometimes , like with cody being an old man , it's nice to get some of that wisdom , like gandalf you know a little professor . If I may say , Cody's just got the knowledge and I'm here for it .

Kody 1:30

A little Professor .

Sam 1:30

Oak . Yeah , whatever the fuck that is Pokemon . Oh yeah , it is Pokemon . Sorry , I only know Harry Potter , but yeah , boys , you know I just one thing my biggest problem that I've been been really racking my brain on is I've been really working hard on saving my money . Like I'm in a position where I'm trying to level up , get to the next point in my life , and obviously the biggest problem that's stopping me is money , and so I've been staying home on weekends being a bum , trying to cook more meals , smoke less weed , and it's working . I've been saving the dough . It's been great . You know I don't work full-time in the summer or in the winter .

Sam 2:19

I was going to say damn Dude , part-time , year-round , Don't work full-time anyway A little teacher schedule , but yeah , hey , damn , dude , part-time , year-round , don't work full-time . Anyway A little teacher schedule , but yeah , dude , I don't work year-round . So I've been in this pattern over the last few years of working saving all summer , getting to winter , getting back down to damn near nothing , restarting again , and so I wanted to really break the trend this winter . Well , as I has been doing well with this , my buddy shout out carter , he's getting married , the boy's getting married . It's one of the first main friend group homies to get married that's true , it is and we're gonna have a bachelor party for him , which we're all excited .

Sam 3:01

I've never even been to a bachelor party . Well , he hits me up and he says , fuck it , we're not gonna do anything around here , we're going to vegas . I want to go to vegas for my bachelor party and I was kind of devastated by it , in a way of like are you fucking kidding me , dude ? I've been saving all this money to then go to fucking vega .

Kody 3:22

I'm trying to buy a house because you're gonna blow it like you're going to blow it . You're going to blow it .

Sam 3:26

Now I have this pressure of going to Vegas for his bachelor party , but it's going to take a lot of money to make this happen . It's his bachelor party , so he wanted it to be special . Go a little balls out .

Kody 3:38

So this Vegas trip is your motivation to get money .

Sam 3:42

No , this Vegas trip is the thing that's I .

Kody 3:45

This is the problem .

Sam 3:46

So to get to the problem is I'm in a tough spot where I've been sacrificing weekend after weekend , not going out , not buying like I want a snowmobile really bad well , I want a fucking house a lot more than I want a snowmobile , so I'm in the same position .

Kody 4:01

I get that really when would you ride a snowmobile ?

Kody 4:02

so I ain't getting a snowmobile . I'm in the same position I get that Really .

Kody 4:04

When would you ride a snowmobile , though ? Dude , I was ready to buy a snowmobile today , and then I just got the bills thing in my head , like I have to get a house , I have to get a house , and I had to keep saying to myself I have to get a house , to not go buy the snowmobile .

Sam 4:25

So we can relate I would ride a snowmobile every day if I could . What the fuck are you talking about ? No , you would not . You obviously don't have a sled .

Kody 4:26

You have a winter like we had last winter .

Kody 4:27

You obviously aren't about sled life .

Kody 4:28

Okay , it's a jet ski for wintertime . That's what it is You're right .

Kody 4:33

Have you ridden a jet ski ?

Kody 4:35

Have you ridden a jet ski ? Yes , two times .

Kody 4:45

And that's super Three times . And then it's another payment , it's another chunk of money sitting there . I bet if you rode it three times .

Kody 4:47

It would be just as fun for three times too . I don't know it's different snowmobiling . I will say that because more people have them and it's fun to get up go bar hopping on the snowmobiles . Go fishing with it . I would not go fishing .

Kody 4:58

Oh like on , the Go ice fishing you're saying yeah , you're saying uh , yeah , I don't do that . Yeah , but you don't got to take them , they're easier , sled route , they're easier than a jet ski .

Kody 5:11

You don't have to take it to a lake and all that , you can just get on it and just ride it anywhere . Yeah , but I guess it's different for me now . Yeah , especially now that now having kids you can I mean they're not old enough I can't bring them on the on the snowmobile you know , like there's it's , there's no convenience aspect to it .

Kody 5:26

It is fun you could take them on , it is fun but I don't think you get your money's worth out of it . I think , dollar for dollar , you're way better off buying a side by side dude a side by side's a car that's what I'm saying . You drive it everywhere you're wrong .

Kody 5:39

Yeah , but it's like the same price as a car , no no , no , no , no .

Kody 5:43

You look at some used ones on marketplace right now , dude , it is tanking , yeah but they're fucked , dude .

Sam 5:48

You see what people do with side by sides there's a real side by sides are the type of thing you buy , beat the fuck out of when it's about to blow up , you sell it and then you go get a new .

Kody 5:56

Exactly everybody knows you know how many times I've driven a side by side not wide open never . How many times , how many .

Kody 6:05

You're just a skilled driver .

Kody 6:07

How many times have you taken a side by side out just for a little jaunt and not not done when I owned one all the time , because I would drive it to walmart . I'd go drive and you're telling me when you went to walmart , you didn't rap on it at least one time oh yeah , definitely exactly , but not enough for it to fuck the next guy that bought it .

Sam 6:26

You don't know that it could You're telling me that there wasn't a couple things in your head like After a couple beers .

Kody 6:32

Oh no , I beat the shit out of it . For sure I beat the shit out of it .

Sam 6:34

But I'm saying there had to be a couple things in the back of your head . Would you have sold it ? It had a lot of life left in it and warranty .

Kody 6:49

Whoever was getting it was like it's not that big of a risk , dude .

Sam 6:52

You know how many buddies I have that have been like oh yeah , I'm selling my truck or my side by side , whatever it is . And then a friend asked them like how much I might buy it , and they're like I wouldn't sell it to you .

Kody 7:01

Yeah , well , that was like when I sold that Yukon I had 330,000 miles on that thing I had a bunch of friends hit me up because I posted on Marketplace for $1,500 , fully expecting to get like $1,000 . You know . So I had a bunch of friends hit me up . Hey saw you got this thing for sale . My little brother is looking for this , or , you know , I'm looking for a commute or whatever , whatever . And I'm like , no , do not buy this . I want this to go to someone I don't know you're gonna have to eat shit on 50 .

Kody 7:26

I was I was very transparent with everyone , regardless if I knew them or not , that it was a piece of shit too , like I told them hey , this is what it is . It's got 330 000 good break tomorrow . It literally could last another 10 years , or it could last 10 minutes dude , you bought it .

Sam 7:41

I've been in those tough positions before where , like , I had a 6.0 gasser that I was trying to sell because I found the car I wanted , got pre-approved for the loan and I was going to use this truck for my down payment and so I was trying to sell it quick . I had it on Marketplace and my dad's like , hey , the neighbor really wants your truck . And , dude , this truck was fucked . Like if you were driving in two-wheel drive it would make this terrible sound . I would drive everywhere in four-wheel , which is worse for it . Just so I didn't have to listen to that sound like it was fucked and I knew it . None of the windows worked , like I think the the front passenger side worked and I was like it was a big moment where I was like do I really want to sell it to the neighbor ?

Kody 8:24

yeah he can just walk over here . You're going to get him knocking on your door in three days , Dude I sell it to the neighbor .

Sam 8:31

Take the $2,500 that I got for it and then I'm sitting there stressing dude , I'm like fucking , this thing's fucked . Two weeks later , rear end goes out on it . I'm holy fuck dude . I dodged a bullet . He never said shit to me besides that . I was like how's the truck ? He's like not good . Rear end just went on okay , back to the problem .

Kody 8:52

Back to the problem . Your problem is you need to save money . So this trip to las vegas is going to be a big issue for you because you think you're going to spend way too much money .

Sam 9:00

It's not even like the saving money is a huge part of it , but another part of why I'm hesitant to spend money on a trip like this is because of all the time I've already given up to save this money , like all the all the fun nights I passed on just so I didn't have 140 bar tab . And you know , vegas is not my call , I don't like to gamble it . Actually , I hate losing money more than I enjoy winning it and I just like that's a good point . When you put all the all the expenses together , it just it would kill me to put all this time and effort in to just blow it at a place I'm not even that excited to go to right but it's also my buddy since kindergarten .

Kody 9:47

Well , actually the nice thing about vegas is literally whatever you want to do , they have it like you name it , you can do it , and the only downside is you have to pay for it . Everything costs money , and vegas is not cheap . It's cheap to go to , but while you're there is not cheap .

Kody 10:01

It's cheap to go to , but while you're there is not cheap . Flights are always dirt cheap , hotels are very reasonable and almost always you'll get invited back for free if you sign up for whatever player's card of whatever casino you're staying at . But everything there is expensive . I remember the first time I was ever in Vegas , on my 21st birthday , I go up to this bar and they had these tall plastic cups and it was like a Jack and Coke smoothie or something . I was like hell yeah , I'll take two of those . I had someone with me , bought them and then they slide me the bill and it was like 68 bucks .

Kody 10:39

I remember being like no , I only got two . They're like this is for two $34 for one .

Kody 10:48

Oh shit , dude , but you get to keep no shame , that was their big that was their big deal .

Kody 10:53

It was at the d right on fremont too well , and that's exactly . You are exactly what they are looking for for the guy to be like that looks cool , I want that , and then not tell you anything until you get in the bill , you know yeah , man , I don't think there was a price up .

Sam 11:05

I can get too ready for you right now , baby yeah

Budgeting and Gambling in Vegas

Sam 11:08

, yeah .

Kody 11:08

So your problem is just you don't have enough money my problem is I don't have enough money .

Sam 11:13

In the money I have , I'm not comfortable blowing it in fucking vegas .

Kody 11:17

You know , it's like I could buy a house you don't have to just walk around with everyone it everyone .

Kody 11:22

It'll be great entertainment to just walk around , dude , that's so gay .

Kody 11:25

No , it's not , it really isn't .

Kody 11:29

In Vegas . There's so much going on all the time , yeah , but all your buddies want to play blackjack and you have to stand there and watch them play blackjack .

Kody 11:34

Well , here's the problem anyways , Finding an open table anywhere . If it's busy , you get one or two people to sit down and you're standing anyways , sam , why ?

Kody 11:41

don't you just give yourself a limit , just $1,000 . Just say $1,000 . Just bring $1,000 cash with , and that's what you do .

Sam 11:53

But that's the problem . How much am I already in for the flights ? The hotel Dude , it starts fucking adding up .

Kody 11:59

Well , only if you had a way to calculate that . I don't have a money , guy dude pull up the calculator app on your phone but that's what I'm saying .

Kody 12:11

I don't want to spend any fucking money so it sounds like the only solution to this problem is making more money or not go to vegas .

Sam 12:18

Well , so you have to go though I guess , to really break it down , which you just answered , is do I have to make this work as a buddy like if I skip out on this bachelor party ? I'm a part of the wedding . You know I'm a groomsman in this wedding . You have to go you have to .

Kody 12:35

So so I guess now you're saying I have to go , you do have to go , no matter what .

Sam 12:40

I just have to suck it up and be there . But while I'm there I can . I can manage budget myself as well as possible .

Kody 12:48

I just say give , yeah , give yourself whether you feel comfortable with 500 cash a thousand dollars , cash two thousand dollars cash just whatever . Just bring that dollar amount with and as soon as your cash is gone , that's it . But I do understand .

Kody 13:00

After a few drinks definitely is hard to you know dave ramsey over here is trying to get you to put your money into stocks and bonds instead of yeah , let's talk about xrp , let's talk about xrp instead I think honestly , are you staying at airbnb or hotel ?

Sam 13:17

so we haven't worked it out that far . If I had to guess , I'd say hotel okay .

Kody 13:22

So hotel is nice because it's convenient . You're always going to be within walking distance of everything . Now the upside to the Airbnb is it'll be a probably a little bit cheaper splitting it between people and you can pregame . You can , like , keep food and drinks at the crib , which is huge . Now , the only downside a lot of places you're going to have to Uber if you don't want to pay for an expensive Airbnb . So that's something to consider . But the trick is pregame when you can in your hotel room , in your Airbnb , whatever . Make sure you got at least a couple beers , a couple bottles , whatever you need in there and before you're going out , make sure you hit a couple of those . Nice part about Vegas is marijuana is legal . You can go to a dispensary and you could be . You could have a pretty good time for the entire trip for a lot cheaper than it would be to be drinking on those things that you get from the dispensary , or you're forgetting this very valuable point .

Kody 14:15

You could win , that's true . Put it all on black . You're forgetting that .

Sam 14:19

That's very true , it could change . It could change so fast . I could make enough to buy the house I want and have the trip of my life Exactly .

Kody 14:28

You got to think about it in a positive way . What if you went there with your $1,000 that you allowed yourself to have ? You put it all on red , you got $2,000 off the line and then you put it all on red again $4,000 .

Sam 14:51

And then you put it all on black . Eight thousand dollars , all right . And then you put it all on black again boom 16 grand .

Kody 14:53

There you go . That's pretty . That's a . That's good down payment on a fucking town . That's good seed money . And then you take it to binions on fremont street , go straight to the dean martin slot machine . You hit that . Ain't that a kick in the head ? Bonus off of a five dollar and 62 cent spin that that might be shit it depending on how the wilds come across the screen . We're talking potentially 30 grand .

Sam 15:12

I did all of a sudden hear a rumor and I don't know it to be true . But is prostitution legal in Vegas ?

Kody 15:19

No , but it is outside of Vegas , right in Vegas , it's not really .

Kody 15:24

Yeah .

Sam 15:26

So you just got , you can definitely do it .

Kody 15:27

There's cards all over the ground when you're there and you can pick them up , and there's literally a naked chick on there . You call the number and they'll go to your hotel room so like if I wanted to get one for a friend .

Sam 15:37

It would be that easy to find them yeah , they're all over the place . That's good , but it is not legal because I have friends that would totally be interested in a prostitute that would . This information would fucking be invaluable to .

Kody 15:49

Oh you , I mean , even if I didn't tell you , you would know the second you got there . There's literally guys all over the place handing out these cards , but they can't like haggle you , you know , they can't mention it , they're just like sitting there slapping these cards .

Sam 16:02

Do you happen to know the punishment if you do get caught ?

Kody 16:06

no , I don't , no I don't no sure I mean it doesn't matter , I've only known one person to ever call any of these cards or you could just spend that thousand dollars on a hooker dude , that would make it an awesome trip , but I'd say the wisest thing to do is , if you went there with a thousand dollars cash and you went to the roulette table , take half of it , take $500 , put it on whatever color you think it is and then , if you lose it , just spare the $500 for the rest of the trip if you win it .

Sam 16:35

But here's the thing , bro . I need you to understand that if I lost a $20 hand at Hinkley , I would be devastated .

Kody 16:44

I know I understand that I just can't handle losing money .

Sam 16:47

If I fucking put $500 on red and lost , I might as well sit in the Airbnb the rest of the goddamn trip . I'm done , dude , that would kill me .

Kody 16:57

That's weakness mentality .

Sam 16:58

You know how many sorry ass rides I've had home from the Hinkley Casino Over $60 . I get it , dude . I get it , dude , I it's . I get it like it is . So I can handle watching people gamble , like if a couple buddies are like , yeah , let's go to the casino , I'm more down just for the atmosphere and the drinks . I'll watch gambling for a night . But I fucking I don't know if I could do it if I , if I go to the casino and I lose , you know , a hundred plus dollars .

Kody 17:23

I feel the same way you do , like I'm . I'm mad at myself for the rest of the fucking night until I go to bed . But if I lose 60 , 70 dollars or whatever it's a friday night or whatever I would just consider it as what would I ? What would a night have cost to me if I were to go do something that wasn't the casino spoken ?

Kody 17:42

like a true gambling , say yeah , say I went to , say I went to the cities with my friends , you know .

Kody 17:48

We hit a bar , went to can can wonderland , bought drinks there . Whatever , I know that night is going to cost me a hundred dollars . So if I lose sixty dollars at the casino , in my mind it's like , well , I was , it's friday night . I'm no matter what I'm going to spend sixty dollars period .

Kody 18:04

It's like four in the morning , so he's sweating . Rips off the covers , all right , I'm going back down there but you're gonna spend it anyways is my point .

Kody 18:12

You're , you're there to have fun , you're there for a bachelor party .

Sam 18:14

That's the whole point , yeah and I've also never been so like , and you've never . What a better time to go . It's a vacation .

Kody 18:21

It's a vacation , you have to experience it .

Sam 18:23

You gotta oh my god , dude , I'm so glad like this was a real life problem and I feel so much better about it now , dude , because I was fully like , fuck that , I ain't going money coming , money going ain't like you can take it with scared money . Don't make money dude , and that's some

Friendship, Responsibilities, and Life Choices

Sam 18:39

true shit that like . So my dad . You know this is where it comes from . My dad missed two family vacations in my childhood because my mom scheduled it for during work season . He's a seasonal worker .

Sam 18:51

He was like fuck that I'm not missing a whole week of work for vacation . That's fucking pussy shit . And so I now like I can feel that shit ingrained in me . It's like miss work for fun . Are you kidding me ? But like I was just talking to my dad , because my dad is just a few years away from retirement to retirement . My mom's right behind him and she's starting to like talk about all these big trips and he's like fucking , I don't know if I want to do this and I'm like why you've been working your entire life to get to this moment where you can do this you want .

Sam 19:24

This is the point , and luckily , my dad being blue collar , he got switched into a management , less labor intensive job , so his body is still pretty good . He still has 10 good years of being able to do whatever he wants at least , and he's sitting there like fucking sorry ass about it . Maybe I should take a fucking lesson from myself .

Kody 19:45

You know Right .

Sam 19:47

How often am I going to get the opportunity to go to Vegas with some of my best friends for my buddy from kindergarten's bachelor ?

Kody 19:54

party . That's a good point .

Sam 19:54

You have to go regardless .

Kody 19:56

This is what you also realize . There's not a lot of these opportunities going to be left . Everyone's going to start having kids . Everyone's going to start getting busy . You know , everyone's going to start having kids . Everyone's going to start getting busy .

Kody 20:05

People are going to move . Dude , we're already busy . How often , like Sam , me and you used to hang out all the time . It was like an every weekend scenario , like not me and you directly correlated , but it was like there was a party and we knew we were going to see each other at it , right ? How often do we have that now In the last year or or two ? How often do me and you just like know we're gonna bump into each other ?

Kody 20:25

at a party . Hey , we got this thing called the cell phone . You guys can keep in touch whenever you want . True , the phone works both ways , but there's not it .

Kody 20:32

We're say that it doesn't work like you're not out doing things at our age now all the time .

Kody 20:40

It's not every weekend right , yeah , you got responsibility , yeah , you have bills to pay .

Kody 20:44

You have responsibilities . You might have to work a weekend or something . It's not like we're at 17 and we know we're going to see each other at a party the next weekend .

Kody 20:52

I think , yeah , the more that we talk about this , the more I'm all in on you . Just go there and blow as much money as you can . No , dude , I can't . That would kill me .

Sam 21:05

But that would kill me . But it all comes down to discipline and self-control . If I can hold my ground and come up with a number that I'm comfortable with , fuck it .

Kody 21:11

Are you going to get the tattoo while you're there ?

Sam 21:12

Fuck , no , dude , I'm not a tattoo guy . I really get buyer's remorse when I buy even something over $100 . I'm very wishy-washy on decisions when it comes to myself . There's no way I could commit to something forever . Like dude , I've thought about it . Maybe like a memorial tattoo . That really means something to me . That's it . There's no like Will has like bean boy . He's got a playboy bunny on his thigh . Like I was really popular Like you know 15 years ago , yeah , and it's really gonna be cool when he's 65 , it's gonna be badass his upside down .

Sam 21:53

Pineapple dude , that shit is gonna rock in the in the nursing home one day dude yeah , I mean I can't say much .

Kody 22:01

I have my wife's name on my ass , you know .

Sam 22:04

So like , so like if we ever split up .

Kody 22:06

I'll just keep adding to the list , I guess .

Sam 22:08

You just got to cross it out . Move on , baby . That should be . You ever get divorced , you know . Hopefully it doesn't happen . That should be the first thing on your agenda . Dude , just straight X . Don't even black it out , don't try to cover it up .

Kody 22:23

Got to change it into something funny , I'll just put , because it just says Taylor in like a typewriter font . I'll just put was here .

Kody 22:31

Maybe cross it out , put your son's name Like just so you can remember he's a bitch Perfect spot , he's a bitch Perfect spot . I do have to quick piss before we go into Sam's next problem .

Kody 22:43

Yeah , absolutely we . I do have to quick piss before we go into .

Kody 22:45

Sam's next problem .

Kody 22:46

Yeah , absolutely , we'll be right back . Oh God , tkf , it's good to have you back . Man , it's good to have you back . All of our guests are leaving us nowadays to go piss . Mid-episode we lose them .

Sam 22:55

It's fucking bullshit , dude .

Kody 22:59

I'll hold my piss . All day I've been trying to think of a good problem that would be worth working out here with both of you guys . I'm going to have to wait until T-Cab is back .

Sam 23:05

Well , you were telling me , when you pee , it stings like a motherfucker .

Kody 23:10

It's actually funny that you say that . Okay , so I recently actually went to the doctor , because this is a thing that I haven't had to take . But it's like in my stomach , not in my unit .

Sam 23:22

So when you take a piss you get a weird like pain in your stomach .

Kody 23:26

Yeah , like my bladder hurts . Dude , that's scary , it's like in my belly and when I went to the , I just did a bad job of explaining it to the doctor . Whoever I worked with , All right . Because it was obviously my wife works at the same clinic that I went to . Yeah , the same clinic that I went to , yeah , and so this lady who was my doctor , she goes . Uh , I gotta ask is there any new sexual partners ? And I was like no , no , no , this is like . No , I'm , I'm explaining this bad .

Sam 23:57

She knows your wife works there right , yeah , yeah so it was a really awkward .

Kody 24:01

Like you could tell she was avoiding the question . I'm like no , no , no , no , no , no . This is not like a I caught something kind of thing . I think like this is something wrong inside of me , and yeah . So basically I ended up doing a urine test and a blood test and they found absolutely nothing . I think I just found out I was drinking too much water , really , cause , like in the morning I'll have , I'll have a gallon down by like 10 am , no way , and then I'm pissing for 20 every 20 minutes for the whole rest of the day . But that's why I think my shit was getting stretched out and then it would go . You were just water drunk . Probably my bladder would hurt so bad and that was the pain that I was going through and that would scare , and they just had no idea . You know , whatever they didn't find anything . Everything comes back completely normal , like we don't know what to do . I was like well , me either . And then I just stopped drinking as much water and it went away dude .

Sam 24:53

Okay , I don't know , I just worked out this problem myself .

Sam 24:56

This this brought me into a weird tangent , you know , because obviously you're fine , but I was just listening to a podcast . Uh , where we're ? This comedian , francis ellis . I'm a big fan of him , he's smaller and he was talking about how he got diagnosed with cancer . He went in for a checkup and and the doctor called him and they were like hey , we need you to call our office immediately . We've got some news for you . He calls in . They needed him to come into the office . They tell him he has cancer and he's like holy fuck , he was actually .

Sam 25:26

He works for barstool . He was in the middle of barstool idol , where they like hire people , they have to compete , and then whoever survives gets hired . And he , he was in the middle of this . So he goes back into the office and they tell him like or he has . They were like where the fuck were you dude ? He's like I'm sorry , I I just got back from the doctor and they literally told me I have cancer and everyone was like what the fuck ? This is in the middle of barstool idol . A week later he gets a call from the doctor's assistant and she calls him and she's like hey , we have great news . We actually mismatched your test results .

Kody 26:05

You are perfectly fine , oh my God .

Kody 26:08

So he had to go back and say he didn't have cancer .

Sam 26:10

He literally had no cancer . The lady that it was actually a woman . Because that's when they realized , oh , we fucked up , because they found it was a woman's cells that were in the test , not a man's . And he's like thinking like , holy fuck . This lady was told she's perfectly fine . He got the best call he could have ever gotten . Oh shit , he's getting the worst call and then he had to go tell everybody now that he already won it . Dude . Oh now that he already won it , dude oh he was hired barstool idol on the premise of that he had cancer .

Sam 26:42

He then had to tell him barstool fans are ruthless dude . He then had to tell them that he does not have cancer and immediately it switched to francis lied about cancer to win dude .

Kody 26:54

Imagine that , though , like he shows you know he's gone from work , from the office or whatever , he shows back up and some snarky guy in the office is like where have you been skipping work ? And he's just like I have cancer , like the amount of I'm so bad you would feel after that .

Sam 27:09

I missed this part in the story and I decided it would have fucked the flow up if I stopped . But literally one of the main part of the story is this so KFC Radio , they were interviewing everybody personally that was on the show , it was a segment in their radio show and he was late and they were looking all over for him . And KFC is like dude , what the fuck , get in here . They throw him right into the interview and they're like where were you On the show live lot and and he's like , sorry , I , I was , I was at the doctor .

Sam 27:41

And he's like , oh , don't tell me , you got fucking cancer . Oh , I swear to god dude and he's like well , yeah , actually that's exactly what they told me . So it's like , I guess what I'm trying to say is jesus , hopefully you don't get a call in two weeks .

Kody 27:56

Yeah , hopefully they got the test results right't get a call in two weeks . Yeah , Hopefully they got the test results right . It's been longer than two weeks . This was like November oh thank . God . So we're good . I think I don't know . Hopefully I got all my test results back and they're looking good . We're alright , we'll be alright . Hopefully it stops hurting when I pee In my stomach .

Sam 28:17

So , Sam , what's your next issue you're dealing with at hand ? Well , since it became the Sam's fucking problem show one thing that has been irking my brain and I really as two guys that are just in beautiful relationships that I look up to , especially Cody , not only beautiful relationships , but beautiful themselves .

Kody 28:35

Yeah , fit , handsome , very beautiful women . I mean the only beautiful relationships , but beautiful themselves .

Kody 28:38

Yeah , fit , very beautiful Handsome .

Sam 28:39

I mean the men . They hold their ground too . I think you guys batted right in the park .

Kody 28:45

I think they are just as lucky as you are .

Navigating Relationships and Parenthood

Sam 28:49

And you know , I feel that there are people that aren't looking to have a significant other at all times . But you know , know everyone deep down , they're looking for love and if you say different , you're lying or you're ugly and I , I just I've been racking my brain because you know , there's a part of me I'd love to have a significant other , but also it's like I do whatever the fuck I want every day and nobody tells me different I if , if my buddies called me and they wanted to go to Vegas tomorrow , I could .

Kody 29:19

Without having to run it through anyone .

Sam 29:20

I don't have a family I don't have a family , and there's a lot of different reasons , like getting yelled at or having them ruin your night , embarrassing you in front of your friends . There's all these sorts of reasons . You talk to your buddies . They're like God , I fucking hate my girlfriend . So I want to talk to you two you two that are in loving relationships and I just want you to convince me that it would be a good idea To have a significant other .

Kody 29:48

Yeah , okay . So this goes back to the saving money thing .

Kody 29:51

If you want to do that .

Kody 29:53

I would say Don't get into a relationship . It's definitely not a cheap ordeal you can have double income yeah , to get a house , you can . That can make it easier well , you can be what they call a dink dual income , no kids and uh that is , you'd easily make over a hundred thousand combined a year because I'm looking for low self-esteem .

Kody 30:17

I'm looking for there's an issue with that that if you don't want the yelling at you and getting mad at you for no reason .

Sam 30:22

The low self-esteem part is not where you want to go yeah , but I want them to thrive for my love and acceptance . I want that . I want them to want , yes , me to accept there's yeah , there's .

Kody 30:33

There's two kinds . You can either have the low self-esteem one , or you can have a good one , and the low self-esteem one wants your acceptance . But you will have a lot more annoying of a relationship than if you get a normal one .

Sam 30:45

That's true . And one thing I've picked up on is you don't want the no friend loser , because that adds a whole there's a reason when it's like too clingy , where they like literally have no friends . Yeah , it's typically a pretty attractive girl right ?

Kody 31:00

no , fucking friends .

Kody 31:01

There's a reason why there's a big part of that , though I think like , uh , social dynamics are a lot different for women than it is for men . You know , men have a beef . We'll squash it in person right now , right yeah , we were just talking about this , but you know , girls , they'll leave it for months , years , and then they'll stop talking to each other , and then it'll be like this hatred thing .

Kody 31:23

And they'll die on that hill . They will never say anything to each other first . Fuck that bitch , and it will just grow worse and worse . It'll start with just not replying to the group message and then , all of a sudden , it'll go to a different group and then , all of a sudden , it'll be that group has one person that's not replying , and then it'll be another group , and then it'll just be we don't talk anymore and then it'll be something that happens and they're just looking for reasons to hate each other .

Kody 31:47

Well , Sam , I will say on the girl part , you are only seeing the guy part of it . You know there's two sides to every story , no matter what right . You're only seeing your boy's side of the story . Good point You're never seeing the girl's side of the story . You're never seeing when that guy gets home from work and his girlfriend has a lovely meal made for him . You're not seeing any of that . You're only seeing him saying fucking bitch , won't , let me go out tonight .

Kody 32:12

That's the only part of it . You're seeing Good point . Yeah , that's the only part of it . You're seeing Good point ? Yeah , because that's the position you're in You're the single buddy that has the life that they want .

Sam 32:25

So they're unloading this on you because you are the envy 100% In my dumb brain . When I was a young man , I would assume that the reason they went through this bullshit was because of the consistent pussy . I mean , that's reason they went through this bullshit was because of the consistent pussy .

Kody 32:39

But I mean , that's a part of it .

Sam 32:42

But you start talking to some of your buddies that are now in the longterm . Especially if there's a kid , they're like dude . I haven't been laid in fucking three months I don't even know what pussy feels like anymore . And then it's like it makes me wonder , even more like so what ? What's the end goal in this ?

Kody 32:59

and I realize you know that's just , that's just something that happens it happens to everybody , but it's like so you want to be convinced that you should put your name into the dating pool because , dude , honestly , like I .

Sam 33:12

I don't do anything . I don't . I don't even have a dating profile on any app . I don't reach out . Yeah , because I am fucking . Denial is like my biggest fear in the entire world , like I would rather die than put myself out there and get denied . Dude , I think on shit for a long time and it will eat me and I just you know , Do you ?

Kody 33:35

well , I guess let me me ask this do you ever want to have kids like do ? You see yourself being a father at some point .

Sam 33:42

So that honestly , I think it's selfish , because that's really the only thing that has me even thinking about it okay because , like I , I know that I'm still really young and I have that I have a good 10 years that I have where I could have a kid and still not be the old dad .

Kody 33:58

Yeah .

Sam 33:58

But I'm getting to the age where it's fucking coming up close Start looking . I remember thinking that my parents were old as fuck . When they had me , they were 29 . It's getting there , dude , not that old yeah .

Kody 34:09

No , you are right , I think , because my parents were both 20 when I was born , and so for me it was always my parents were both 20 when I was born , and so for me it was always my parents were the young parents . Yeah , but I did have a buddy whose dad was like 65 when he was born , and so by the time we were , like you know , 15 years old , like he was an old man grandpa dad yeah , he was an old man , like he couldn't do shit , he wasn't running around with us , he wasn wasn't playing catch , and I'm sure that kid was a little shit .

Kody 34:37

Yeah , definitely Because , dude , I've seen .

Sam 34:40

That's what my uncle is Like . He is the product of a grandpa dad , like my grandpa got remarried , had my uncle when he was in his mid-40s . Well , he didn't . You know , he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to . Grandpa was worried about taking his pain meds you know , didn't you know he could do ? Whatever the fuck he wanted to . Grandpa was worried about taking his pain meds , you know .

Kody 34:59

Yeah , he could barely walk to the other side of the house . That's so sad too , but as a guy you can really have kids at any age . As a woman it's considered high risk , I think after like 35 or 33 , something like that , like they got such a shorter window when they can reproduce . They go through a hell of a lot different process than what we do , though .

Sam 35:16

Their body changes , everything changes to bring it back to like the kids . You know like that's another pressure is . A lot of my friends either have kids or are have like their significant other is pregnant right now and it's like fuck , I missed the first wave , so now I'm thinking like they're all probably gonna have a second . I gotta hit the second wave .

Kody 35:36

No , I get that .

Sam 35:37

I feel that Because , dude , I have friends that my dad is from Siren Wisconsin , about 40 minutes from us . I have six friends from there that were my dad's best buddy's kids that I would kill someone for I'm a product of a bunch of homies being like let's have kids and have them hang out like I lived that , and so I want that more than anything for my kids .

Kody 36:03

It'll just naturally happen like that , though I mean regardless . If it's not your friends that you have kids with . At the same time , you'll meet people yeah you know , it's like um , all my buddies with older kids now that are in like hockey and whatnot , like all those guys are hanging out with the other hockey dads .

Sam 36:18

That is true , cause my dad just got new homies that are the same . When I started playing hockey , he inherited a whole new friend group , and a lot of them still are there today , so I totally get what you're saying .

Kody 36:27

Yeah , It'll just , it'll just naturally come that way , so I wouldn't be worried too much about that , honestly . But I mean , if you want to have kids , obviously you gotta have a gal around .

Kody 36:41

You gotta have a decent gal around you gotta .

Kody 36:44

Now the trick is vetting her long enough to figure out if that's the right one . I think personally . I think you jump head over heels into the dating pool , figure out the one before you're locked in in , and then you're like , oh , I'm just too old now , like I just have to settle down with this one .

Kody 37:03

You gotta start trying , because if you start trying , you know what you want , you figure out and you find red flags and women that you know you know is a big no-no yeah but , the only way to know that is to try tell you what you want to try it out .

Kody 37:17

We'll life swap for about two weeks like fuck yeah , I'm all in , I'll go live with scrat . You come and stay at the house , take care of the kids , pay the bills do I have to sleep in the spare bedroom , or did I get ?

Sam 37:30

take a little daddy , so you can take ?

Kody 37:32

the bed that's your wife , that's your wife for two weeks .

Kody 37:36

I feel like you know , I get , I get like that you were talking about , like the women nagging , you know , and not letting you go out and all that , and that is , you know , something that we all go through as guys with our women .

Kody 37:50

But it is kind of yin and yang . You do have to have a significant other . I think it helps you make make yourself feel more complete , like if you have a peaceful other . I think it helps you make make yourself feel more complete like if you have a peaceful girlfriend or a peaceful wife , whatever the case may be . When you go home and you have a girl that you can vent to , that has dinner ready and you can and she'll just listen to you bitch about work or how shitty your day was , and they just take it . And being able to talk to someone like that and then go to bed with them is and you know you have that every single day . Yeah , you know it's like a , like a best friend . You know they'll never be one of the boys , but it's like a best friend that you always have , that you get to have sex with that day .

Kody 38:31

If you just shift your perspective , you can already do that . I'm sure you can find one of the homies that's willing to let you hit . Oh yeah , you just got to switch your idea around . Scrap my flip .

Kody 38:41

No , scrap isn't hard to get , dude .

Kody 38:43

He's been trying for years .

Sam 38:45

I've been pitching it to him . I'm like dude we live together , we might as well adopt a child .

Kody 38:51

Listen , you got health insurance . I don't Let , I don't , let's get married .

Sam 38:54

Let's Chuck and Larry Do that shit .

Kody 38:56

If they raise a kid , it would be fucking Ricky out trailer park boys .

Sam 39:00

If they raise a kid , that's exactly how Wearing flame button up shirts , dude , if I , if I turn 30 Without a kid , I'm going to adopt one , and it's just gonna be Me and the homie . Yeah , he'll probably be a Chinese boy or something . Yeah , get them smart .

Kody 39:13

That would actually be sweet . You skip kind of like the first , because the worst part of having a kid or I should say the worst part , the hardest part is like the first eight weeks . They're just up 24-7

Motivation and Life Choices

Kody 39:25

. If you could skip that and just roll right into young enough where all they know is you but old enough where you skip that hard part , I think that's kind of the sweet spot as a parent who just wants a kid .

Sam 39:39

No , that's fair .

Kody 39:40

It's not like you're getting two-month-old babies adopted , unless that's already pre-lined up .

Sam 39:47

Yeah , if it was like a get them right at the hospital .

Kody 39:50

Yeah .

Kody 39:50

I wouldn't mind , just picking up a five-year-old one day , Get him to go . Yeah , you know like .

Sam 39:54

Yeah right , what's up , brother , you want to get in ?

Kody 39:56

That would , yeah , be my son . You could just spawn a kid in at five years old , this driver on the neighborhood first kid biking .

Sam 40:02

That looks cool .

Kody 40:06

You want a new dad . Is your dad an asshole ?

Sam 40:10

I bet he is Get in . Come on , I got candy and weed in here .

Kody 40:14

Actually , now that I think about it , I'm going to buy a van and I think that's going to be my new plan .

Sam 40:18

Dude , that would be cool to adopt a 16-year-old and get high with them and shit . Oh my God , Just ruin their life .

Kody 40:25

They've already been through the foster care system and now you're just gonna smoke weed with . Well , I can assume . I think that's the exact opposite if they're 16 in the foster care program . They definitely smoke weed yeah , I'm not gonna get them involved , like if he smokes , oh my god , yeah let's fucking get hot this video is gonna be used as proof at the hearing for your adoption .

Kody 40:44

That's like okay yeah , I just want to pick up a 16 year old kid and get high with him . He's out . I just want to pick up a 16-year-old kid and get high with him .

Kody 40:51

He's out , yeah , he's out .

Sam 40:51

He probably gets drunk . He'd be sick .

Kody 40:53

So what are your thoughts ? Do you think you've been persuaded ? You think you're going ?

Kody 40:57

to start dating . No , I don't think he's been persuaded .

Sam 40:59

Dude , honestly one of the main— See , it's funny because I go back and forth where , like , where , like . Obviously I don't have too much of a problem putting myself out there in general . Look at what we're doing right now . This is literally like a look at me , look at me , laugh . Yeah right but putting myself out there in a dating atmosphere , dude like it's , it's fucking scary to me , like I making it dude , because here's where my mind goes .

Sam 41:24

My mind goes to making a tinder profile , thinking of someone screenshotting it , sending it to their friends being like this is so fucking gay .

Kody 41:33

Because I've seen dude , I've had other girls send me my friend's Tinder profile . Like oh my God , look who I saw . Or that guy calling them gay too .

Sam 41:40

And then like what the fuck that's so cringey ?

Kody 41:43

Yeah , it is definitely .

Kody 41:45

It doesn't have to be Tinder but you have to try , you have to start somewhere .

Kody 41:48

Here's the problem . Nowadays , where are you meeting girls if not online ? You are not .

Sam 41:57

The last girl that I talked to pretty consistently . Tyler and I at work had a very similar conversation to this . He got me on Tinder and I met a girl immediately and then I just never went on it again . So I know it fucking works . It's just about getting that hype up .

Kody 42:13

Yeah , yeah , you're right now , but here's the problem if you don't go the internet route , you're limited to . You don't go to church bars , church dude . That's the thing , though . That's honest to god , why a lot of young people go to church to find other people .

Sam 42:31

The only girl that I would meet at church is a girl that's trying to fix me . Dude , I would never run Well dude , there's other places .

Kody 42:39

I mean fucking go skiing .

Kody 42:41

Fuck . Go to the troll hog and meet a girl . There's not much of a social environment .

Sam 42:47

Give a stripper all my money and hope she falls in love with me .

Kody 42:50

That's honestly not a bad idea . You double up on the Vegas trip . You got both of these problems knocked out .

Sam 42:55

Hey , baby , you want to move back to Minnesota ? I got a spare room for you .

Kody 43:00

This girl that I know that I went to ice with . Actually , you know her too . She was in Las Vegas and met a homeless guy . They took him to the bars and they're just like this guy's cool as fuck . Hey , you want to come live in Minnesota ? Sure , they drove back with this homeless guy in her truck . That's insane . He comes back to Minnesota and it's like a couple months goes by and they're like hey , what's your plan ?

Sam 43:23

Is that the dude that lives right behind us out in ?

Kody 43:24

the streets . No , no , oh my God . They're like , hey , what are you going to do ? You're like not doing anything and he's like , yeah , nothing , really Just going to chill . Okay , he's like all right , well , I'm going back to Vegas , Like okay .

Kody 43:40

So he goes back to Vegas being able to chill full time would be kind of sick , yeah , honestly it would kind of . But I'd get way too bored .

Kody 43:51

I don't know if I could , but I think that's just a mentality thing that you have , like , if you could , I could change it , if you could accept the fact that you're just gonna chill for the rest of your life .

Kody 43:57

Yeah , and that's like the hippie wave yeah like look at the hippies , they didn't have any money and they were happy and they were chill . Like they say , money doesn't buy happiness , you know .

Kody 44:07

But it does help .

Kody 44:08

It does help . I just had this conversation today with uh , my co , my co-worker , reed , is . It doesn't buy happiness directly , but it sure does make it a hell of a lot easier . If you don't have to worry about anything now , if you're homeless and you accept the fact that you don't have to worry about bills , then it's just endless chill time yeah , it really is .

Kody 44:28

Honestly , I think it really just is like what's your version of chill ? You know what's your version ?

Kody 44:33

of relaxing .

Kody 44:34

That's chill , but smoking old Betty you have to deal with the idea that you can't get anything else . You know , you have to be perfectly comfortable with what you have in front of you , which I think is , you know , a lot of people's issues , including myself . That's like . That's what drives me I want this thing or I want this lifestyle .

Kody 44:53

You just can't want that . You have to be happy within yourself . You gotta let go of it . You have to pull a hippie . You have to be happy within yourself and that's all that matters . Damn , that's deep . Yeah , okay , Like . Look at those . They lived in a fucking Volkswagen van and they were the happiest people ever .

Kody 45:09

Good point . Now here's the problem Again we go back to the whole kid thing .

Kody 45:14

It'd be a lot harder to do . You can't do that .

Kody 45:16

It'd be a lot harder to just chill all the time you have no more chill time .

Kody 45:21

No , I've never accepted that , and I'd rather not chill . That also helps as a motivation .

Kody 45:27

You know if you want to be lazy .

Kody 45:29

You have no choice .

Kody 45:30

It sure does . The bills got to get paid , because it's one thing if I'm a little cold , but like the kids , can't be cold .

Kody 45:36

Like that's where you know , if I was , if I didn't have anything to worry about and I had no bills , I would be a lazy piece of shit . I'd be chilling all the time . But I do have to pay for things , so I can't chill . Now , if you have a kid , you have a fucking life to take care of , so you really can't chill anymore . No , it's a motivation driver , Sam . That's why you should get a girlfriend and have a kid . It'll help you make more money because you'll have motivation . There you go , dude .

Kody 46:00

Now we're taking it full circle , we're knocking out all of the problems at the girl problem .

Kody 46:07

If you have a kid , get with a girl , have a kid . It gives you motivation because now you have no choice to be a loser . You have to do shit . You can't just chill .

Kody 46:18

You're trying to buy a house . Also , two incomes makes it way easier to buy a house .

Sam 46:22

Yeah , if they have another income . What if they're a fucking loser ?

Kody 46:27

Well then , don't date them Then if you have a kid with them , you can pick out that they don't have a job before .

Kody 46:32

You have to be committed in the relationship .

Kody 46:33

And if you don't , that's your fault , then you didn't vet very well Okay here's a good question for you , sam If you could have the perfect girl that would let you go out with the boys , give you sex whenever you want . Breakfast made , dinner made everything is perfect in the house , but they make $0 income . Honestly , that's a pretty easy trade-off if you think about it , would you do that ? But you have to cover the mortgage , you have to cover all the bills , but everything else is easy . House is clean .

Sam 47:09

Sure , you know absolutely , but everything else is easy House is clean . Sure , you know , absolutely , that's one thing . Like me and my buddies will talk about the stay-at-home wife and just the concept of it . It's the dream , in my opinion .

Kody 47:19

Well , again you add kids to the mix , it changes things pretty drastically because daycare is expensive . So from a standpoint a certain standpoint you look at it like you're making exactly the same amount as what it costs us in daycare . So why don't you just not work if you don't ?

Kody 47:34

want to .

Kody 47:35

So that's a little bit different

Gender Roles and Relationship Dynamics

Kody 47:36

.

Sam 47:36

I will say that Well , it's just tough too , because you know what I , if I , if I had a stay at home wife , that with the kids , that watch the kids , kept the house nice , I wouldn't even like dinners , whatever . Did some laundry , like did something to take care of the home . It'd be fucking amazing what if ?

Sam 47:54

I had a stay-at-home wife that just fucking truly stayed at home and did nothing . That would kill me , dude , I couldn't handle it . So it's like there's the yin and the yang of it so you want , you want like that I if it , if like , if I had your mom I would fucking love it .

Sam 48:12

Like I'm not taking no shots , I'm just saying like , respectfully you , dude , even when you , even when you were a 20 something year old man , you would go home after work and your mom would have a delicious dinner ready for your family never missed like I've been every time I've ever been in your house .

Kody 48:29

It's fucking beautifully clean like that is the situation I could live with but if they're just staying at home and not doing shit , then it's like oh , for sure you know you have to have one or the other . It's either you make money and we both have to pick up on things around the house , or you make no money .

Sam 48:46

But I want all this done because that's one thing you know , if we're gonna get on a mitch talk , that's one thing that that bothers me . Like you're not fucking it , dude , I dug this hole . I might as well keep going . That's one thing that bothers me is like I do . I do think that the I came in from a family where there wasn't a lot of like traditional values of like . My dad did help with the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and that was completely normal , and so I don't .

Sam 49:18

I don't live with those standards , but if you are a stay-at-home wife , it's not that it's like I would expect them to do that no , it is just part of your job it's not like you're a woman now because you're staying at home , you have to do the laundry and have dinner ready for me , but it's like if you're just gonna do fucking nothing , then what's the point of doing this ?

Kody 49:39

you know you're exactly right . That's my opinion on like women is , if you have if you have a girlfriend and they want to work and they want to help make money . I will have no problem with doing half the things around the house . I will have no problem with helping doing the laundry , cooking dinner some nights , I will have no problem with it . But if you don't want to do anything , the house has to be clean . My life has to be easier .

Sam 50:05

And let's not call it nothing .

Kody 50:07

I get what you're saying , but it sounds very abrasive when you say it out loud .

Kody 50:10

Andrew Tate , but it's true . If you want to stay home and you don't want to work , that's the requirement you have to do those things .

Kody 50:19

You need to pitch in somehow .

Kody 50:20

You have to pitch in somehow . It's not about saying , oh women should fucking make dinner and stay at home .

Kody 50:25

I'm not saying that I'm just saying if you're not gonna work , you have to pitch in . In that way is it ? Is it is this chair that's racist and sexist . It just comes in , bitch gets replaced and we have a mitch number two . Now no , I'm just kidding , I think . I think you're right , I think it's . It's all down to contribution and , like you know , as long as there's a perceived equal contribution on both sides , that's going to be different to every single person .

Sam 50:52

Yeah .

Kody 50:52

For me personally , like I lucked out , like Taylor is such a clean freak , like she would clean if she was home 24-7 , or if she's not home all the time , like she obviously works full time too . So all she does is clean Vacuums the house like every other day . Like keeps the place spotless . It looks like we're ready to sell our place at any time because she keeps it so clean . But on the flip side of that , now she also expects me to put in work like that at home , sure , and if I'm working 24 7 , that to me is not an equal contribution so we're on the same page .

Kody 51:26

Don't call me me sexist Because , listen , if Taylor had a busy work week and the house wasn't clean two nights of the week and dinner wasn't made , you would brush it off Because you know she's busy , she's doing shit , right , yeah . But if she didn't have a job and she was at home all the time and you came home two days a week and everything was fucked and there was no food , you'd be like all right , you know you're not doing nothing .

Kody 51:51

Yeah , I get what you're saying . I'm more of a scavenger . Anyways .

Kody 51:56

More of a midnight refrigerator .

Sam 51:58

I can live on pretty modest rations if I need to Meal prep two weeks in advance .

Kody 52:07

Yeah , our unspoken rule that we have between Taylor and I is that as long as the kids have good food , we can kind of just figure it out . Now she actually , within the last couple years , has started cooking . She never used to . When we first started dating , I would do all the cooking , which is fine with me . I love cooking Me too . So this was like now . It's like , I would say , a 50-50 split , you know , between I'm making pork chops and steaks on the grill , or she's making spaghetti inside or whatever you know . So it's a pretty even contribution when it comes to that keep that bitch in the kitchen , baby , I like it .

Sam 52:35

I'm gonna do the mansion on the grill .

Kody 52:38

She would never work with the grill , which I'm fine with . That's my sanctuary , that's . That's scary for a woman I don't blame you at all I wouldn't trust him around the barbecue either but I feel like like there's also a hotness scale too , because if I had Cody's wife .

Sam 52:53

I would put up with anything .

Kody 52:55

I would hire a maid to make it work .

Kody 52:58

dude , I don't give a fuck . It's like driving a fancy car . It's going to have all the issues , but you get the brand with it .

Sam 53:04

You get to show her around , bring her around for your friends to see .

Kody 53:07

Hey , it's got 120,000 miles on it , but it's a Mercedes .

Kody 53:11

But it's got a V12 . It breaks down at least once every two days .

Kody 53:17

There's a lot of similarities here .

Sam 53:22

Exactly yeah . So with that , any woman looking for me fucking hit my line dude .

Kody 53:27

We've been talking about this for years and I know it's been done so many times by now , but let's do a dating show . No dude , let's do a dating show .

Kody 53:37

Let's do it like a 10 . Sam on the podium , like a 10 versus 1 or something .

Sam 53:39

That's like literally putting me in like one of I can't even imagine .

Kody 53:45

Well , you have the perfect cop out . You get 10 of these women . You get to get as close , ask as intimate questions as you want , because it'll be good content . But then also , if none of them truly work out , you can say , oh , it was just for the video . But if one does , you're like all right , you're in . You have a good cop-out , you have a great cop-out .

Sam 54:05

Yeah , no , I don't know .

Kody 54:05

No , dude this is a great opportunity .

Kody 54:08

Sign this contract .

Sam 54:09

Genuine love . You've got to ask the right questions .

Kody 54:14

Do you have a job ? What if you ?

Kody 54:15

met that same girl somewhere else , then you would consider it real . If it wasn't a dating show .

Sam 54:22

Well , I'm in a position where I'm just looking for one woman to even be slightly interested . You think we're going to find a pool of 10 that are just dying to be my significant other .

Kody 54:31

No , but I think we'll find a pool of 10 that are dying to be on any camera .

Sam 54:36

And then maybe I can grism up . I like it , dude , I'm in .

Kody 54:41

You hooked them with the personality and then you set the hook or you reeled it in with the charm In your wiener and your wiener yeah .

Sam 54:53

No , that's foolproof plan I . I'm all about , all right we'll get this crack in .

Kody 55:00

Uh , ladies , if we know that you're listening , uh , call sam hit us up shoot us a dm to get on the dating show no weirdos , and you have to have a job . What are your requirements actually ?

Sam 55:12

as long as we're listing it out , what would the application look like ?

Kody 55:16

that's a good question obviously have to have a job . We've talked about that .

Sam 55:20

No , no that's not a if I would be willing . Well , student gets a little dicey . Now I would . I was gonna say I'd be willing to date a student , but they'd have to be like a senior in college .

Kody 55:33

How about , like a Mankato girl , I'm in dude . Whores are welcome .

Sam 55:38

I want to fix you .

Kody 55:41

That won't work .

Kody 55:41

Sam that won't work .

Sam 55:43

Age range I like them a little older , I would say 20 .

Kody 55:50

Now hold on hold on . Let's rewind that You're going to offend them by calling them older , so we don't use that verbiage . Maybe this is the age that I like .

Sam 56:00

I like them to be past Epstein Island age .

Kody 56:05

Okay , that's fair . So , like 18 plus 19 plus .

Sam 56:10

No 21 plus 21 plus Bar age for sure .

Kody 56:13

We need to be able to go to a nice steakhouse and get a glass of wine .

Sam 56:16

Yeah .

Kody 56:16

Yeah , okay , 21 to 40 . Oh , okay , I was going to say 30 , but okay , you opened it up quite a bit 21 to 40 .

Sam 56:24

We need a big range .

Kody 56:27

Height you need a big range Height . Height doesn't matter , as long as it's under 5'9" . Okay , under 5'9" .

Sam 56:33

Ethnicity Opened all .

Kody 56:35

Okay , this is going to be a touchy subject and people probably won't want to admit this Weight Body type I'm really open with that .

Sam 56:44

That's not something I Honestly . Bigger is better to a certain fucking point .

Kody 56:50

Okay , I'm not in you know , if they're too skinny . This pool is wide open . The filters are wide open . We're showing a thousand results right now on the search page . What else ? Religion ?

Sam 57:04

Oh , they can't be too religious . Okay , I'm probably not a Muslimlim they've prayed too much .

Kody 57:14

That's a good point . Seven times a day , or whatever if that would freak me out um hair color . This is a make or break for anything natural , anything natural color .

Sam 57:25

It doesn't have to be their natural color , but just a standard tone no , you're telling me , I was gonna say no purple , no blue pink . You know those are the obvious no's . But like , even like a too much of a red , fake red or really like a blonde that like is more of like a platinum blonde dude platinum .

Kody 57:44

Okay , a natural platinum blonde .

Sam 57:47

This is all preference unreal me , but if they are a full diet I'm not into that Dude , platinum blonde is a free three points on any girl .

Kody 57:55

Really Added to their Correct , if a girl is a five and she's platinum blonde . She's an eight . Wow , that's my opinion . Wow , platinum blonde is .

Kody 58:05

That's a temporary thing , though . Here's the thing you can change anything . Appearance-wise , man , woman , does not matter . You're big , you want to be skinny you can do that . You can go into the body shop . You want to have a skinny face . You want to have a different muscle structure ? You can do all this . You want to have different hair color ? You can do that . I think you focus more on character , more on traits okay .

Sam 58:35

Well , girls that think they're funny are gone why , keyword . Think if they're actually funny , they're in okay , if they think if anytime I've ever heard a girl talk about how they're funny , have you ?

Kody 58:48

ever met a funny girl , a couple .

Sam 58:53

I'm not going to sit here , I'm not going to Mitch myself around and say I've never met a funny girl in my life .

Kody 58:59

No , it's rare .

Sam 58:59

Because they're there . Don't get me wrong , it's rare he says no , it's rare , it's a diamond in the rough .

Kody 59:04

I've met two . I've met two funny girls . Girls will make a funny joke sure . But , a girl that you're actually laughing nonstop , consistently because they're funny .

Sam 59:14

Where they're like legit , you would consider them a funny person . I'm not going to sit here and say a girl can't be funny . I'm just saying you're not a funny fucking person . And so girls that think they're funny gonzo .

Kody 59:28

No , and the girls that are actually funny , don't think they're funny .

Kody 59:30

Okay , that's fair Hard working . Yeah , she has to have motivation has to have drive For sure . Competitiveness Do you want someone who's competitive or no ?

Sam 59:41

No , because I'm extremely competitive . I think I need a little bit of yang on that one . Yeah , okay .

Kody 59:47

Dude , that's a big deal . So I think I need a little bit of yang on that one . Yeah , okay , dude , that's a big deal . So Katie is very competitive and you can't play any game with her .

Sam 59:54

Yeah , it's ridiculous

Monopoly Ruins Relationships

Sam 59:55

. I need someone that will let me win , Dude , it ruins everything .

Kody 59:58

We'll just be playing . We'll go to the gym on a Saturday night play some volleyball . I'm getting fucking he's bump set spiking . I'm getting 70 mile an hour fucking serve . Set to me like and it's , it's not . It's won't even give me a point , it's not even fun , any game we play .

Kody 1:00:16

If it's a kid's game , you know it's , she's like I'm gonna kick your ass . You know , have you guys ever played monopoly together ? Because ?

Kody 1:00:23

that's a good that's a good relationship ruiner he said that , like he was like a war , that we have , and it's almost like to the point where you don't even want to cloud it when you win , because you can tell they're a little or dude , I can't imagine playing with your significant other and you're about to bankrupt them because they just fell on your property and they can't do it .

Kody 1:00:42

No , I did that with katie and she would like land on my property . I'd be like I'd see she has like a hundred dollars left and the rent would be like , or the the payment would be like 700 bucks and I'd be like you can just give me 50 .

Kody 1:00:55

You can just give me 50 when I was a kid , we'd play monopoly as a family and we never got through a full game ever because people would be doing side deals under the table and it'd blow up the whole game . You know people be trading property , sliding money off to the side .

Kody 1:01:10

It was like they were like my family would treat this like real business , and I hated it , and so it would always end up with one of us just leaving the table because , like two or three of us would team up on the other one hey , we need to get out of here , dude .

Sam 1:01:24

It would just ruin the game . Yeah , it does get ruthless yeah , the competitiveness .

Kody 1:01:29

So back to the application for for dating competitive probably mild or for not mild , because if you're motivated you have some level of competitiveness in you right a little spit fire in them , yeah right , so maybe not a die hard . I have to win everything . Sure you're okay with losing every once in a while , yeah , okay , well , what do you think you think we got a good pool of gals to select from ? I think we opened up a massive pool . You have a pretty vague understanding of who you want to be with , I think .

Sam 1:02:00

I'm pretty desperate . Don't say that , cut that , edit that , bleep that out .

Kody 1:02:11

I mean mean , if you have a pulse just hit my line , for the love of god . Okay , you've been convinced , all right , I think . Well , what do you think ? Do we wrap this thing up and end it there ? If there's any girls out there that want to compete in this dating show , for sam's love , no , we have to we have , if you would want .

Sam 1:02:26

If you want to be honored with my personal love , hit our line .

Kody 1:02:33

All right , we'll see you in the DMs .