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On Tap Podcast
On Tap is the podcast that celebrates the heart and soul of blue-collar working class culture. We'll be hosting some amazing folks from the blue-collar world and beyond. Listen in as we chat with industry legends, unsung heroes, and experts in their fields. Their stories, experiences, and insights will inspire and entertain you. Comedy is our secret sauce. Kody & Sam have a knack for turning everyday work stories into side-splitting anecdotes. Prepare for laughter, hilarious work-related mishaps, and a good dose of humor to brighten your day. Whether you're clocking in for your shift or winding down after a hard day's work, "On Tap" is your go-to podcast for a dose of blue-collar pride, a taste of the finest brews, a good laugh, and a fresh take on the world's current events. Subscribe now and be part of the working-class revolution!
On Tap Podcast
Gulf of America, Teacher Identifies as a Cat, & Bonnie Blue
0:00 Social Security Fraud
12:09 The Wolf Pack on Instagram
15:43 Pregnancy Profits
19:53 Parenting
25:37 Alcohol and Marijuana Comparison
34:28 Embarrassing Stories
40:22 Boxing Match Plans for Beans
45:58 Childhood Memories
50:20 Why Sam Can't Make a Tinder Profile
Check out our sticker packs at OnTapWithTheBoiz.com
Live from Pine City. It's Friday night. Should we do our intros like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should actually, from now on, boys, we're here in the studio back again with Bean Boy.
Speaker 1:It's good to have you back, brother. It's good to be back. Bean Chan dude, he's a man. How do?
Speaker 2:you guys feel, now that we're sitting here north of the Gulf of America, I saw that I thought it was a joke. I literally thought it was a joke, until I saw someone posted a screenshot of Google Maps and I saw it said Gulf of America.
Speaker 3:I was like whoa, I still thought it was a joke. I had to go in and see it for myself. Same, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1:I really loved the idea, especially during the inauguration speech I was like yeah, I was one of those people that was like why isn't the Gulf of America we?
Speaker 2:do have more coastline than any other place, but it is. I mean, if you think about it, we are the Americas. North America, it's the Gulf of America. It's not like we just call the USA United States of America, but Trump brainwashing has been working on America.
Speaker 1:Educated white man? I don't think it's like.
Speaker 2:It's not like the Gulf of USA. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I see what you mean I don't think it's as bad as North America Gulf of America.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's in.
Speaker 4:North.
Speaker 2:America.
Speaker 3:It's also kind of a pointless thing to do. I didn't really understand. No, we.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, here we go, here we go, well, all right. Well, give us your real opinion on here.
Speaker 1:I see you've been real opinionated on facebook lately. Dude, you're taking the stance, you're taking the stance of a 55 year old man dude.
Speaker 4:Yeah, sharing the trump article after trump article that's all I do. Pretty much I go. It's funny because I just piss a lot of people off a lot of people.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Dude, you're pretty easily triggered yourself. I know.
Speaker 4:That's why I just don't even look at the comments, I just quit looking at him like if he had a free post.
Speaker 1:Have you made any enemies since this election?
Speaker 4:and you going all crazy on the facebook no, not that I meant in person, but I'm sure there's some that really hate me, are you?
Speaker 2:someone who keeps track of your friend. Count on facebook fuck. No, oh, I was gonna ask do you think that you've been unfriended by a lot of people because of these things you're sharing? I could care less oh hard ass yeah
Speaker 4:I like it, dude, stand on business, stand on, that's just like when sam unfriended me, I didn't give a shit did you really?
Speaker 2:I at one point I'm definitely happy rightfully so he just doesn't want to see Trump articles 24-7.
Speaker 3:So Will are you the type of guy that sees the headline of the article and reads the whole thing and agrees with it and shares it?
Speaker 4:Oh, I just read whatever the little clip is. You just read the headline yeah, yeah, yeah, basically yeah.
Speaker 2:Basically. What if you're sharing Barry memes this whole time, Like you click into the link and it's that dude with the hammer.
Speaker 4:Oh, fuck, yeah, I should start looking, dude, could you imagine?
Speaker 2:my mom opens that or something that was Sam.
Speaker 1:Sam's dad hit his grandma with one, didn't he, yeah, he hit my mom with it Because it was the COVID one and he's like holy shit it hit us. Oh my God, because it was the covid one and he's like holy shit, it hit us. Oh my god, that was such a good time. I miss all those going around, see beans. I'm surprised you haven't gotten into the whole social security fraud, dude, that's a big deal around town.
Speaker 4:There was one person 360 years old. How the fuck is that even possible?
Speaker 1:the numbers are pretty crazy. I actually got I got a few of them for us here, so they found that people deceased between 120 to 129 3.4 million. People are collecting social security from 130 to 139 3.9 million. 140 to 149 3.5 million and 150 to 159 1.3 million. That's great.
Speaker 2:So I see a lot of people trying to debunk this and I just want to say I'm stupid as hell. I don't know any. I don't know any better either way, but I see a lot of people sharing. I saw this one specifically that said, like funeral director here, you cannot collect social security once you're dead because we send a form, blah, blah, blah. But also that's if they send this form, because I personally know a lady who collected her dead mom's social security for years and got caught and got a felony really, and it was a huge deal because their family is huge hunters. Was it worth it?
Speaker 2:I mean, I would assume not obviously not facing prison like not a lot I mean I guess I don't even know. I mean let's say it's, let's say it's low, let's say it's 800 a month.
Speaker 3:I mean that's yeah, hundred dollars that you're collecting over the span of years that adds up, but it is like you know that amount of money worth going to prison for.
Speaker 1:I mean, if you spread it out over 20 years, maybe I'm telling you right now rich plumber boy if you didn't have shit to your name, that $800 every month would mean the fucking world to you, man. I worked at a bank in Bemidji in college and I'm not kidding, I'm pretty sure it's the third of every month they release social security when when the doors would open at nine, there would be a line out the fucking door getting that social security to cash immediately.
Speaker 3:For some people, this is everything to them yeah, for sure, if that's all you have, I think that's everything. But it's also like you. You know $9,600 a year.
Speaker 2:But you, I mean you got to figure $800, dude, that's all of your gas and groceries, that's all of your like normal day-to-day stuff, probably for the whole month.
Speaker 4:That's a weekend at Misty's Especially for beans.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a day at Misty's for beans. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I think if you got bills, 800 bucks don't get you too far. Yeah, no, I don't.
Speaker 2:I don't disagree, but that's honestly unrelated to like is this a real problem or not? Yeah, I'm just saying. I personally know someone who got caught doing it so like how many other people that I?
Speaker 3:don't know are doing.
Speaker 2:It are doing that if I know one, there's probably a hell of a lot more, yeah dude.
Speaker 1:I actually I have a buddy. He was on so he's got like some distant family members that there's a little beef with and he was on to them. They he knew like they were collecting social security from from the grandpa that was involved in the family and it was like this whole thing. He was trying to debunk the mystery, spending all this time researching. He brought it up to his dad, his. His dad was like you're fucking crazy, dude, there's no way this is true.
Speaker 1:Well then, all this releases and his dad calls him and he's like I'm sorry, man, this is crazy, I did not see this coming. And I think a lot of people are having a lot of come to moments where they're like, holy shit, they have been doing this, you know, and it's kind of it's opened up the game a little bit, opened up that conversation, because that's dude, that's like you know, speaking of prison, like it. I think it all comes down to how long you're doing it, because if all of a sudden they find catch you after 10 years you've taken 40 grand, 50 grand, like that, they're not gonna let that go lightly and this could be a big deal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, if it's a felony to do it one time, what kind? What are they going to try to hit you with if you've been doing this for 10 years too? Like they're not going to take it lightly? No, it's not going to be like oh, he accidentally did that or she accidentally did that. It's like they knew exactly what they were doing so is that like the same as laundering money? Then in a way, no, no, I don't, I would assume not, you think it'd be like different charges though well, the money is legally coming to you, but it's just you're not legally able to cash it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's literally fraud, yeah I was gonna say, I could ask gangster granny, she might know some yeah, is she getting social security? No, but she's out of the slammer dude why is she?
Speaker 1:not she got out of the bin yeah, dude, dude, gangster Granny's home. Oh, dude, congratulations.
Speaker 4:For those that don't know.
Speaker 2:Your grandmother was in prison.
Speaker 4:Yeah, for a year. Well, just like 363 days or something.
Speaker 2:Dude, that's crazy. What'd she go in for again?
Speaker 4:Laundering money.
Speaker 1:See Will, only knows laundering.
Speaker 2:Dude, okay, it was the romance scam.
Speaker 4:So it's top of mind for Will right now. It was the romance scam, but still it's fucking crazy. I know very little but it's mind-blowing A 69-year-old lady just throwing in the slammer.
Speaker 3:Was she aware that she was laundering?
Speaker 4:Oh dude, the FBI told her after a couple years or whatever, because we thought she was done talking to these guys or whatever the romance scam talking to these guys or whatever the romance game, yeah, and then the fbi was like hey, we're on you, we know what you're doing. She worked for them for a little bit. Next, you know, she said fuck the fbi. I'm like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:she, she, she, double crossed, double cross the dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is gangster it's fucking yeah.
Speaker 4:And then as soon as I get in there, like a month later, my mom's like oh, come video chat. Yeah, they call me gangster granny in here and I'm like really Pretty fucking badass.
Speaker 2:Did she get fucked with in there at all? No, probably not.
Speaker 4:She said people were very respectful of her because she was like an elder. You know, they respect elders and they're pretty good.
Speaker 2:That's cool.
Speaker 1:no-transcript I don't know, dude, I have watched a lot of 60 days in and I'm pretty convinced I could use my business skills to run like I'm not saying I could hit a state prison or, yeah, you know, a federal prison, but like a county jail, I think I could run these motherfuckers do you guys?
Speaker 3:uh, fun fact you know, fetty wop is in sandstone dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my brother was just telling me that yeah we should go, we should get an interview through the, through the glass. That would be sick, that'd be no, we could start a new like podcast playlist called through the glass.
Speaker 3:Oh, that would be sick. We could start a new podcast playlist called Through the Glass. Oh my god, we'd just interview money launderers, murderers.
Speaker 2:I wish Gangster Granny was still in. Would she be on? Tell her to go back, she's got an ankle monitor right now. Tell her to go outside her zone a little bit.
Speaker 3:She can go outside her zone a little bit. They'll put her back in for a night.
Speaker 4:No, she had a call just to come hang out for a couple hours at my mom's house. They're pretty fucking.
Speaker 1:Dude, that's pretty sick that your kid has a great grandma that went to prison.
Speaker 4:I know, I don't even have to go to prison. My grandma did for him. You thought, you had to. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It. You thought you had to. Yeah, it's a requirement of a dad. Show them who's boss you know. They do say the prison bug skips two generations. Your kid's fucked.
Speaker 2:The prison bug. I was unaware of this bug that was going around.
Speaker 1:Oh, you don't know about the prison bug brother.
Speaker 2:No, I don't Fuck you. You're up next, dude. Dude, speaking of prison bug. Okay, it's completely unrelated to prison bug, but this just made me think of it for some reason. There's this teacher in Australia, queensland, Australia, that is, uh, identifying as a cat and she makes her students like purr and shit to be able to get what they want. Like, can I go to the bathroom? Like you have to purr first, and shit like that, Fuck yeah. And uh, she's like being investigated right now for like forcing this on the kids.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, that's hilarious. Who the fuck wants to just you know, purr, who the fuck just wants to do that.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'd be all about it if it was like you get extra credit or something.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'd be purring.
Speaker 3:I'd be meowing and shit, get a little pee-pee tug.
Speaker 2:No fucking way, dude, I can't even imagine you would resist if I had one of those freaks as my fucking teacher? Like seriously, dude, let's break.
Speaker 1:You're drawing the line here no, this is exactly where I draw the line. I don't care what repercussions could ever come from talking shit on furries, because that shit's fucked like this isn't even really furries, though this is not like a character like she oh, dude, she thinks she's a cat.
Speaker 4:That's a furry. It might not have some fucking no, because like a furry is like an anime cartoon style animal full body outfit.
Speaker 1:This is like a person who legitimately wants to be a cat I can't tell if it's her situation then is better or worse, because then it's like it almost makes me think it's a little more deep, like damn, she really has some serious fucking mental problems. Someone hurt her for sure someone identified?
Speaker 3:some people really do. Have you seen the wolf pack on instagram?
Speaker 2:yes, it's hilarious. It's like that ginger guy with the glasses.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and he's like. This is my alpha bow for your. And then he was like this is you know? Uh, this is, this is the queen. And he points at her.
Speaker 1:There's the alpha, there's the beta, there's yeah the house wolf there's the caregiving wolf, I'm all in that is hilarious and if you don't refer to him as alpha, again we're gonna have a fucking what is he?
Speaker 3:what is the ginger? He is the elf? No, he's not.
Speaker 2:He said I've it goes back and forth they fought for an alpha spot at one point.
Speaker 1:Sometimes they arm wrestle for it, for sure. Why do I?
Speaker 4:feel like you two just go through that whole instagram page just fucking watching this was my costco guys before the costco guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was my yeah, and they kind of remind me of the monster tattoo guys they remind me, boy, what I hate to be the guys that mess with us. Oh, dude, I love your thing.
Speaker 1:They'll play like extreme hide-and-seek and shit and the alpha will be the seeker every time. It's pretty badass man.
Speaker 2:What's extreme hide-and-seek.
Speaker 1:Oh dude, just like outside, you can hide anywhere.
Speaker 3:They'd be climbing into trees and shit. You think they only do doggy.
Speaker 1:Extreme that's crazy, you know. I would think that that makes the most sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel like Alpha, though he's kind of got that primal fucking energy. I bet he switches it.
Speaker 3:Alpha will flip him around.
Speaker 1:I could see he definitely eats box and he's probably the best at it.
Speaker 3:I would think the beta wolf eats box. What is it that's a good point? Do they all live?
Speaker 2:in the same house together. Yeah, they must rent a house together or something. Imagine being the landlord of that place.
Speaker 4:That's what I was going to say, dude.
Speaker 2:He comes and knocks on the door. I'm just picturing this in here like, hey, you think I can get my rent. What's the password? I'm so sorry, let me go get alpha. You, let me go get.
Speaker 1:Alpha, you were talking to the queen about rent.
Speaker 4:If you have a problem, you come to me.
Speaker 2:You think there's ever a scenario like that has to be Dude. I heard.
Speaker 1:Alpha talking about. He's working on building up his money. They're trying to get in more people to their wolf pack and he wants to build a compound for them. He's making big moves, dude. Honestly, he's top five guess that we could possibly land.
Speaker 2:We should try to score. I'm totally in.
Speaker 1:Shoot him a dm dude alpha is insane.
Speaker 2:Shoot him a dm. Let's get this guy on the pot. I don't even care if it's remote or we can go to him it would be totally worth it. We do a day in the life I would definitely go with a day in the life walk through of the house, we got to see the sleeping situation. We got to see the eating situation. They're pecking order, like when they make dinner. Does like, does the alpha get to eat first? Kind of situation.
Speaker 1:There is like they. They do it pretty legit. They try to keep the wolf pack intact and in pretty legitimate, like I is there really people like this out there in our world?
Speaker 3:we're just talking about you.
Speaker 1:Gotta watch crazy dude, you gotta go go watch wolf pack.
Speaker 2:Well yeah, come back with some knowledge. What the fuck is wrong? Do you think that this was a scenario like they learned about wolves in third grade and that just fucking stuck with them?
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, because there's another trend too where it's like it's that it's a song and I don't know if it's from like a movie or an anime show, but it's where it's like I'm the alpha, I'm the leader yeah yeah yeah, and then they like they all and they run up and then they like, do the run together, dude.
Speaker 3:Oh my, and then they'll roar. I've seen them roar before. Oh, they'll have a good howl, yeah love it, I fucking love it that's the thing, like I've already thought about it.
Speaker 1:When I have kids, I'm going to have multiple and I'm going to try cool shit with them. I want to have a micro-dosing son or daughter I'm open to either or I want to have a furry child, but he's going to get his kids taken away before he even has them, literally.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the thing you are never watching Bear Bear you got to leave them to let them do what they want.
Speaker 1:But if I can direct them in a cool way and like, why can't?
Speaker 2:you give your kids drugs.
Speaker 1:It's my fucking kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's no reason at all.
Speaker 4:I can't think of one bad reason why. Yeah, maybe, Sam, you know that's crazy Mushrooms are natural dude Like you guys.
Speaker 1:Just watch, I'm one of the smartest fucking kidpies that he's ever seen. Yeah right, dude, fucking, fuck you. Dude Speaking of absolute animals. I want to talk about Bonnie Blue dude.
Speaker 3:I've had her stuck in my head all fucking day. Will do you know who that?
Speaker 4:is oh dude, if I was over there I would have took one for the team. Okay so.
Speaker 2:I just found out who Bonnie Blue was recently. What about the other one? What's? Her friend Lily.
Speaker 1:Phillips, but what does that have to do with Bonnie Blue? Apparently she's pregnant. No, so Bonnie Blue is pregnant. Lily Phillips, she appeared in the woodwork. She's like the fake Bonnie Blue. She just happened to announce her pregnancy right after Bonnie Fuck Lily. This is about our girl, bonnie, and Bonnie went viral because she had sex with a thousand dudes in 24 hours.
Speaker 2:A thousand or a hundred.
Speaker 3:A thousand Will, would you have done that?
Speaker 4:Dude, I would have For the boys. Yes, For the boys. What does that even mean? What does that even mean? What does that?
Speaker 2:even mean. What the fuck, dude?
Speaker 1:No, dude so she went viral for having sex with a thousand dudes in 24 hours. And now she's pregnant and, like everyone's kind of looking around.
Speaker 2:Do they know whose it is Bro so.
Speaker 1:I've looked up and down the internet dude.
Speaker 3:Is she actually pregnant or is this?
Speaker 1:apparently in her. Her big thing now is she wants to actually have the the world's largest live birth on instagram. Like the most views on a live birth, either instagram or only fan, she's working out the tweaks immediately profiting off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, put it behind a paywall. Yeah, what?
Speaker 2:the hell. That's what she wants to have. Dude, that's crazy, her birth live on camera.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:a good person. You can follow me on Patreon Dude that's her thing, so she goes like she's done a couple of these.
Speaker 1:She's only done the thousand guys one time, but she's done a few hundred rips. You know where she, where she goes to like a, a high-end um spring break destination spot.
Speaker 2:Oh, she just gets all these college kids no, you know what, now that you say this, I have heard of this because I saw I saw a clip of her explaining that she goes to these places with like a ton of dudes and just says, like well, they did the hunter, whoever wants in on this, like line up bonnie, right, they did the hunter together a few times right. Because that's how they started or something I don't even know.
Speaker 4:I just seen it on TikTok one day. What side of TikTok are you on? Mostly just media, media.
Speaker 3:Will's TikTok is just Trump boobs, Trump boobs, Trump boobs.
Speaker 4:It's not even boobs dude, it's literally just Trump, trump, ice, ice, trump, trump, border boobs. Nah, it's not even boobs, dude, it's literally just Trump, trump, ice, ice, trump, trump, border border, all that bullshit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, but Lily and Bonnie are not either one of those topics?
Speaker 4:Yeah, they just pop up randomly.
Speaker 1:I don't know why it's tough because we give Beans shit about not talking on the pod and then when he talks it's like fuck, fucking, go back to old Be beans. God damn it yeah. I know, don't let him push you down Will. I'm just kidding dude, I'm just trying to get you fired up.
Speaker 4:Next time can I come see Bear Fuck yourself, but I just love when you chip in on something and then know nothing about it.
Speaker 1:That's like my favorite. Here's the problem.
Speaker 2:That is my favorite when he comes over to visit Bear. You got he's going through a concert.
Speaker 4:You got to make sure he doesn't have any drugs on him. I already do no weapons on him. I tell him to go back to the truck.
Speaker 2:Leave it in the truck, fine.
Speaker 1:That is something I was wondering. Is it fucked up to play with the kid high? Is that normal? I don't even know Is the kid high, or are you high Me?
Speaker 3:Okay, no, I don't think.
Speaker 4:You're just chilling, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I see why, when you are high, it could definitely fuck with you while you're high. I don't know I think Joe Rogan had a bit about this. I think he had a bit about playing with his kids. High he was like I just like my kids more when I'm high so I'm just always high around my kids.
Speaker 1:Cody was saying that off camera. He actually said it's the only time he can stand his kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I definitely did not say that off camera, but I don't know. I don't think that it's right because you can't really fully be in the moment. If it's your kids, I would say no. If it's a friend's kids, I would say it's kind of acceptable.
Speaker 3:I think it's fine. Oh, if it's kind of acceptable, I think it's fine.
Speaker 2:Oh, if it's a friend's kid, 100 percent. Be as high as you're situational. You know you shouldn't be like throwing them up in the air and shit, you know.
Speaker 1:But well, and as long as you're not the main tear care giver at the time, like if I was babysitting a kid and was getting high, that's a whole another fucking bag of worms to get into, but like, if I'm just coming in to fucking let her rip, if I'm not the one bringing him to the hospital, uncle Sam always looks like he's crying.
Speaker 2:I don't know why.
Speaker 3:Just hang on here, I'm gonna go smoke.
Speaker 1:Uncle Sam smells like skunk.
Speaker 4:I don't know man. Yeah, that was true the other day, Fuck.
Speaker 2:Skunk. If you walked in your place smelling like a skunk or what?
Speaker 4:dude, he's pretty good about it I?
Speaker 1:I doubt it because that's like a serious problem I have and I don't know like well, every time you come, my dad comes downstairs.
Speaker 4:What does he say to you? Every time my dad comes downstairs, what does he say?
Speaker 1:it switches periodically, but it typically has something to do with my eyes or my smell, or he, he actually had to tell me one day he's like. You know you can. You can smoke weed and be high here. You don't have to hide it like it's not a big deal I was like holy shit, fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks for the thanks for letting me run with it, you do sometimes, I think sometimes, if you're smoking all the time, you don't uh recognize the smell not just you, but anyone in general yeah sometimes I'll walk in the studio and sam and i's desks are like what would you say? Like 50 feet apart yeah, I could just walk in the front door and I'll just get hit and I'm like whoa sam's here what do you, what do you guys think the percent is of?
Speaker 3:like? You know, when you're a kid and you're trying to hide the weed smell from your parents, or you come home, high eyes are red or something. How many parents do you think absolutely know that you're fried and they just let it go? They know, they just don't want to know I mean that's all situational for sure, like if I would have the older I get the older I get, the more. I think parents know when their kid is high and they're just like ah do I really want to deal with this tonight?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah I would say it depends on the parent, because if my dad smelled that and I came home, I dude, I would have not had a good night for sure I was always.
Speaker 3:I would always use the campfire excuse. You know I was around a bonfire. Yeah, I was around a bonfire. My eyes are red. It smells no, your eyes okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess kind, of, I'm just really tired.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's like the classic excuse, right dude me having contacts.
Speaker 1:That one helped out too because if I was high and someone's like oh, your eyes look all like if they were innocently like oh, your eyes look red. She's like oh yeah, my contacts are giving me a hell of a time today.
Speaker 3:Yes, dude, another one that was crazy that worked for me is my parents. I'd come home drunk and they were okay with it, but if I came home high that would have been not good A big deal. So they'd say to me like oh, your eyes are kind of right.
Speaker 2:I'd be like, yeah, I'm hammered.
Speaker 1:Then they'd be like okay.
Speaker 3:And then that was fine, I'm hammered and I drove but.
Speaker 2:I drove, but I didn't smoke weed, yeah, so it's okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah, dude.
Speaker 1:I had one of my buddies shout out Sniff. Same shit in high school. If he came home and he was high, it was the end of the world. One time his mom threw a cross at him because she found some in his pocket.
Speaker 3:I remember that that was hilarious.
Speaker 1:But he would come home and his dad would be like what's up with you?
Speaker 3:And he'd be like I had like six beers on the ice, like what the fuck? Dude, they're okay with that answer?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's fine oh, thank god, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:We thought it was drugs, yeah I've been on like a big fuck alcohol pro weed kick, which I know it sounds ironic I'm drinking a beer, but I've been. I've been really on this kick and my dad loves beers and he can't smoke because of his job and so like I'll start talking shit about alcohol being like I'm just sick of it ruining people's lives.
Speaker 3:As he's got a beer in his hand.
Speaker 1:He gets so defensive from it and I realize, oh people that love alcohol, they don't really like when people talk shit about it. I was always a pro-alcohol guy. It never hit me like that. Don't disrespect my beer. He'd be like so you can just get all fucking high at 10 am, but god forbid, I crack a beer I was like yes, that's loser behavior yeah, that is weird how that is perceived.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's more acceptable for a stoner to be high all day than it is for a drunk to be wasted all day.
Speaker 3:I feel like sam is always gonna play devil's advocate, though yeah, like even if sam was off the weed and he was just drinking and someone was smoking maybe, like it just makes you fucking lazy not doing it as a beer, and it would always be the opposite.
Speaker 1:You guys smoke that pussy shit still yeah, you'd always be devil's advocate oh yeah, 100 yeah, 100 do you?
Speaker 2:do you think that stoners are higher functioning than alcoholics?
Speaker 1:Oh fuck, yeah, you know it really in general, absolutely, but I do think that weed, especially if you don't have any sort of tolerance, it fucking ruins your day.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Like weed is a crazy thing if you haven't built up a tolerance for the last 10 years. Mm-hmm, like weed is a crazy thing if you haven't built up a tolerance for the last 10 years, and so for me, I. I can smoke a fucking joint in the morning and function my entire day like nothing happened. I can go talk to a customer face to face, but some like somebody like like beans if he smoked a joint he ain't going anywhere, he's not driving anywhere.
Speaker 2:His day is done so.
Speaker 1:So, like I can see how, like, if you don't have this, this tolerance that you've been working on for fucking a decade, you have a different idea of how it affects you yeah, definitely, it's a, it's a hundred, it's 180 degrees different, dude, because I I used to be the same way I could.
Speaker 3:I'd wake up in the morning, smoke, go to the gym, smoke throughout the day. It's like a little mood raiser. Every time it was great, and as soon as I really slowed down on smoking weed. Now, if I hit a oney, I'm like I'm not doing anything.
Speaker 3:Today, I'm eating, everything I'm eating everything and then immediately passing out on the couch yeah, it's, it's completely different. So so to someone who hasn't smoked weed a lot and they maybe smoke once or twice they're like this shit just makes you lazy. It's like yeah for you no doubt, or they're like.
Speaker 1:I took two hits off that shit. It fucked up my night. I could drink 20 beers yeah, and they're not wrong.
Speaker 2:I think at a certain point we all have to realize. It is just like alcohol, from the standpoint of it, affects everyone differently we all know I've I've never seen anyone hit their girlfriend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, true.
Speaker 2:No, what I'm saying is like the effects are different for everyone.
Speaker 4:Don't be doing that. That's some bullshit. Don't even be doing that. That's so fucked up.
Speaker 2:Vince has never assaulted anyone, especially his girlfriend. No, what the fuck? I lost my whole train of thought.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, buddy.
Speaker 2:I was thinking you know, like we all know, someone who cannot handle liquor. Yeah, Like you give them one shot, two shots, and they're done Like they're not even fun to be around.
Speaker 2:They suck or they start puking right away, whatever but then we also know people who can slam 20 beers and they're just fine. Same thing when it comes to smoking. We all know one person that can hit a oney and they're passed out for the rest of the time. So we know, like, don't let this guy smoke because it'll ruin everyone else's night. Versus. Obviously the repercussions are a lot different, because you're not going to get someone ripping off their shirt, stealing things in the bar because they're high.
Speaker 1:Well, dude, and that's the thing is why I'm on my big fuck alcohol kick is. It's a me problem, and it took me a while. I was thinking about this. For weeks I thought it was alcohol that was the enemy. It was just. I can't handle alcohol as wish, as much as I'd like, and I'm not the type of guy. I'm never a mean drunk. I never. I never do very regrettable shit unless I say something cringy as fuck. But like it, the shame that I would get the next day from just drinking, even if it was a normal night, that that hangover anxiety mixed with just a couple cringy conversations from the night before.
Speaker 1:You know it just killed me and then I'm a terrible hungover person, like if I I get bombed tonight. Tomorrow is 80 in bed like I would be surprised if I got my day running before the sun went down, you know like yeah I.
Speaker 1:I had a summer where I I remember like laying in bed in the in the fall and being like holy fuck, I'm pretty sure there's less than five saturdays where I actually did something besides cure my hangover and then go get drunk again and I just I felt like I wasted a whole summer and that that's what really kicked it off. Plus, I fucking couldn't save money to save my life just a couple years.
Speaker 4:Figure it out was that when we're on the dual little yeah, I would say it was.
Speaker 1:It was leading into the 2024. It was. That was big year for me when it came to drinking. Like that's where I changed my habits. I mean.
Speaker 2:For me it's like forced into not drinking as much. Now, having kids like it's a totally different thing. Like I'm not going out late on a friday night or a saturday night because I know I gotta be up at five, six in the morning no matter what, unless if it's a planned event that you've had, you know, for right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a whole different ordeal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and even then like some sorry beans even now like if we have a night lined up most of the time, if it's like shit, the kids aren't here, damn, we're just gonna stay in, we're gonna catch up on some sleep, we're not going out yeah, literally nine o'clock rolls around.
Speaker 4:I'm already fucking cooked, even with my weekends without bear, I'm just like not doing nothing out, just sleep.
Speaker 2:We're all getting old dude, yeah, we're all getting these two, they're just fucking still young.
Speaker 4:I don't get it. Yeah, I don't get it either no, dude, I I fucking.
Speaker 1:I remember my buddy diggy was like telling me like yeah, man, you know, I just this drinking thing, I realized it's not really for me. I still like kind of coming in the bar for a little bit seeing the buddies, but I've just, I'm not really about it anymore and at the time I was like what are you fucking gay? Like what the fuck you don't want to? I thought, I truly believe that if you just hit the bar on the weekends, that was, you were fucking behaving yourself.
Speaker 1:There was nothing wrong with that. You worked during the week, you played during the weekends, and then, yeah, then it just kind of hit me like, oh fuck and you know I'm not even going to lie to you I started listening to podcasts where they'd be like do you think of the most successful people you know? Do any of them hit the bar every single weekend?
Speaker 2:and like I was just thinking about it, holy fuck dude I.
Speaker 1:I took the red pill and it changed my life.
Speaker 3:Dude I have a good question for you guys. Have you ever had a night of drinking where you know you made a fool out of yourself like you know, you did every weekend you know you made a fool out of yourself and that made you not touch alcohol for like months no you never had that, so this is what pisses me off about fuckface mcgee.
Speaker 1:He is the. He's burt kreischer dude. Burt talks about this all the time, no matter how drunk he gets. He's saying still the same fucking dude. That's cody. I don't understand it. He can drink with us all night. Keep up with them. Never does anything embarrassing.
Speaker 2:You never see any videos of him acting like a fool for myself I mean, there's definitely videos out there of me doing dumb shit, but never anything that's like.
Speaker 3:Oh, I really regret that oh, there's a lot of dude that sucks.
Speaker 1:Nothing's worse than when you wake up with just high a highlight reel of cringy. I love you, mans, throughout the night.
Speaker 4:You know where it's like you tried.
Speaker 1:You tried to make a joke to somebody and they just it bombed hard. And they're like who the fuck's this weird guy? And it's just running through my head. The next day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I've definitely had those nights where it's like you have the heart to heart with someone, but I don't ever think of it as cringy because like if they're also doing the same thing. Then it's like I don't feel like this is one side.
Speaker 3:I've been the drunkest one at a party before and then you know the next day. All you remember is like clips, like you have like two second clips of like things you did oh and you're and you're just like I'm like you're so embarrassed you don't. You wake up in the morning. You get out before anyone else wakes up. You don't want to see anyone.
Speaker 2:You don't want to talk to anyone because you know you were annoying and completely agree actually I just thought of the one time that I did make an absolute ass of myself because I was the only drunk person at this place oh it was my buddy's uh, my buddy's gender reveal. He was like the first one of our friends to have a kid and we're sitting at this gender reveal I didn't know um, his girlfriend's parents and I'm sitting in this group of like, say, 15 of us, and this was right when bush light ice or bush ice had come up it was like six percent the black can yeah, yeah and so I'm slamming these things.
Speaker 2:I'm on a weekend home from college and I'm slamming these things and I'm literally the only drunk person there, and God, I'm going to forget how I worded this. I told him. I said there's no difference from telling your girlfriend's parents we're trying for a kid, as in also telling them I'm cream pieing your daughter on a day. And I said this in this group. No one laughed and I'm like, damn, that was good. And I get a elbow in the ribs, you know. And I look over at her other buddies like dude, what the fuck.
Speaker 3:And I'm like, what, that was good dude, I got second hand pulls me off he's dude.
Speaker 2:You're standing right next to her dad. What the?
Speaker 3:fuck Dude, I got secondhand pain from that one. That's bad.
Speaker 2:That is the one time that I can remember, because I do think about that every once in a while. I'm like, oh, why did I say that?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, dude, I had one night where it was at the cricket. They had this Blaine Bunting, blaine Bunting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Blaine Bunting.
Speaker 1:He came in this dude. He fucking always packs the house. Nashville country guy and he fucking kills it, but it brings in a crowd of a lot of locals and this night there was a bunch of teachers in the building from our school and I woke up with three memories of conversations like you really helped shape me as a kid and I really appreciate you for that To the teachers.
Speaker 2:To the teachers, dude oh no dude. Just like holy fuck, kill me dude. Yeah, that's brutal.
Speaker 1:That, yeah that would definitely be embarrassing. I also called one of my old, one of my buddies. When I was younger I was really close with them and then I kind of became a bad kid and we got distant and she had said some shit to him about how he couldn't hang out with me. And I held those feelings and I saw this mom at a bar one time and she was trying to talk to me like just hey Sam, how's it going?
Speaker 1:And was it going, and I was like actually not good. You know, you said that dude, I gave her. I I don't think I said a legitimate fuck you.
Speaker 2:But I was like gave her a look like nah you big time, not big time, dude, dude.
Speaker 1:And I still think about it because I still like connect with this buddy a little bit, but I just I gave his mom fuck you, dude. I have a different buddy. Oh my god bro. One time we're at the bar, a bunch of us friends there and one of our buddies moms show up and that buddy wasn't there and his mom's sitting at the bar and our buddy goes up and sits next to her and he's just fucking hammered, making a fool out of himself. And I still don't know what he said to her to this day. Nobody knows. But he whispered something to her and she got up and she said give me my tab. Looks at him and says get the fuck away from me and never talk to me again.
Speaker 4:Dude, just leaves the bar, holy fuck we're like, holy fuck, we're like what'd you say?
Speaker 1:I don't fucking know. I don't remember.
Speaker 2:That's brutal actually, Beans, you got any good embarrassing ones.
Speaker 4:Dude, I truly don't even remember any of them.
Speaker 2:I just know.
Speaker 4:I made a fool of myself so many fucking times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I could see it, sam has been there.
Speaker 4:Tyler has been there. You've probably been there Fuck.
Speaker 3:I remember I was at a New Year's party where no one was really drinking. It was under 21, obviously. So it's at one of my friend's house, His family every year they just kind of have their you know, aunts, uncles, grandparents, play cards, maybe have a couple of drinks, but nobody gets like shitty, you know.
Speaker 1:And I went there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I went there and I remember I got a bottle of that tin cup whiskey that's extremely strong and I'm sure I finished it and I just know, I knew I made a fool. I don't even remember what I did, I just know I made a fool out of myself just from those two-second clips that you remember in the morning. I didn't drink for four months after that.
Speaker 2:Because you were so in your head about it.
Speaker 3:I was so in my I didn't even want to ask. It was one of those, like I snuck out of the house early in the morning because they want to talk to anyone. I was, you know, opening the car door, puking on the way home like you just want to forget everything. I just want to forget everything, be like I'm never drinking again and I didn't touch alcohol.
Speaker 4:For four months I didn't even see, I'd always just go out the next week and I don't know why I did.
Speaker 1:There's people like they don't get that shame and I honestly am jealous of them Because the shame Fucking wears me down. Same buddy that said the fucked up shit to his mom. We were at a Superbowl party and, tk, you can take this over at any time, but we're all sitting on the couch.
Speaker 1:Game hasn't even started yet. Everyone's sitting there having a couple drinks and we're looking at our buddy and we're like dude, you're going to fucking puke, get the fuck out of here, what are you doing? And he's just sitting there. He's like nah, fuck you, is he?
Speaker 2:gagging.
Speaker 1:He's not gagging, but this guy's famous for puking everywhere. He's famous for the surprise puke. This is his thing and everyone always knows like dude, you're gonna puke, get the fuck out of here. Like everyone around him is always the one to call it out.
Speaker 3:It's never him and he's like nope, nope, I'm good. Nope every time and then t-cab.
Speaker 1:T-cab took a couple strays on this one because he's sitting there struggling and I I even said I'm like I bet he pukes within the next five minutes. No shit, he looks over. He's sitting next to t-calf, or actually there's a buffer in the middle, yeah so well it was.
Speaker 3:Scrat was right next to me and then our other buddy, squall, was on the other side of scrat and squall was trying to talk to me. So I put my head over his scratched chest to hear what squall was saying, and then I just felt on the whole side of my face I felt that I had my glasses on.
Speaker 3:I saw it splatter across the lenses and I knew right then and there, if I, if I inhaled and I smelled the smell of puke, I was gonna, yeah, puke. So right when I felt it my face, I just held my breath and sprinted for the shower and just dumped my head in the tub.
Speaker 2:Gross, gross.
Speaker 1:It was honestly one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I hate that you had to be the collateral damage of this but I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life, it's every time, every time he's going to puke.
Speaker 3:You know he's going to puke and he always I'm good, nope, I'm good. And then two minutes later pukes.
Speaker 4:I could tell you guys were talking about Scrat just by the voice you guys were making. Literally it was just too easy to tell.
Speaker 2:We should get him on. I feel like we've talked about him so much.
Speaker 4:We've tried, we've talked about him so much. Dude, he won't.
Speaker 2:We've tried, we've talked about him so much People got to put a voice to the name.
Speaker 1:Dude. I blew the opportunity. Him and I got all fucking hammered at the local frog town and we came up here to spend the night and I was like, should we record a pod? Huh, because I ask him all the time and he's like let's fucking do it, and I's like, let's fucking do it, and I'm like all right, perfect. I'm going to take advantage of this. We're going to do an audio only. And I went into your office. There was no chips. That I knew for sure were empty.
Speaker 2:There wasn't one in the board.
Speaker 1:I could not find one that I was comfortable with wiping, so I was like fuck, I can't. We had just recorded. I didn't know if it was the SD card with the newest episode.
Speaker 3:Were you guys both shit-faced? Was this the other weekend? That would have been a hilarious audio of both of you guys, absolutely shit-faced, just talking to each other.
Speaker 1:I was in a pretty good place where I could have ran the episode. I still would have known what I was doing to set him up just to tell the perfect stories.
Speaker 3:Is that when he was running around on the street saying this is fucking America, yeah, america, yelling Running down the road, America.
Speaker 2:It's fucking brutal. Yeah, we got to get him on. Actually, speaking of this hold on, this makes me think there was supposed to be a boxing match with you and him. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Scratch's chicken's out dude? I don't know. Scratch just won't take it.
Speaker 2:Do you think we could still line?
Speaker 4:this up Ask.
Speaker 1:Scratch, I think if there's a little bit of money involved, that's.
Speaker 3:My money is definitely on Will Well.
Speaker 1:I think we have to get a purse. You know, we got to get a purse for the event for them, so they get their money. Yeah, the event for them, so they get their money.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm down a little bit. I lost 10 pounds since I haven't gone to the gym, did you? Yeah, dude, I really did.
Speaker 1:Fucking crazy. You look like a little skinny rat.
Speaker 4:I know I'm just kidding, buddy.
Speaker 2:What do you weigh right now?
Speaker 4:125. I was 135.
Speaker 2:What do you think? Scrat weighs Fuck he's like 150.
Speaker 3:He's like a slow leggy 150.
Speaker 2:You got more technique on him, so it makes it fair yeah.
Speaker 4:Well, duh.
Speaker 3:If we can line this up, would you do it?
Speaker 4:Yes, All right, I told you I'm talking to the boxing commissioner Because your wife is a nurse, right. What's that? Your wife is a nurse right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, she's not going to be there to help if anything goes astray.
Speaker 4:Oh fuck. So if I'm sitting there like she's not going to help, me out, yeahte or anything like that.
Speaker 2:I'm basically a kid. I wear a size six and a half. Yeah, that's a good point. If you do book an appointment, maybe you'll get a well child with her.
Speaker 4:Hell yeah Do you wear, like 2020, jeans 28.
Speaker 2:I remember before Will was a regular on the pod. I remember he placed an order for swim trunks on the website.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, they were just a little small, they were extra small, Extra, extra, Extra, extra small.
Speaker 2:And I asked him I'm like hey did you order these by accident? Nope, oh, because it literally said 28.
Speaker 4:Who are they?
Speaker 2:for Me. Oh Okay, never mind it.
Speaker 4:Literally said I remember being like damn, I didn't realize he was that small. Yeah, it said 28, for I don't know you were quite the little fella.
Speaker 1:So dainty, see, I know me too I know scrat would want to back out of this because I've been at the bar with the two of them and they get into it all the time I'll kick your ass, fucking I'll. Let's go outside. I'll kick your ass and let's go outside, I'll kick your ass.
Speaker 2:And every time I've seen.
Speaker 1:Will just beat the shit out of him.
Speaker 2:Scratch tried stepping up to me a couple of summers ago in the cricket too. I get up, I go to leave. I didn't even know he was trying to talk to me. He gets up and stands in front of me and puts his hand on me. I literally just pick him up up and I moved him over to the side and I just kept walking I don't know what barking in my ear.
Speaker 4:He leans around you. He leans around you like this and then fucking grabs on like does not? I don't know, dude.
Speaker 3:I don't know what the fighting thing is. I I was at the bar one time and getting a drink and scrat was shit-faced and there was this guy across the bar. He was just jacked.
Speaker 2:It was huge and scratch just leans over me, goes, think I can fucking take that guy, and I was just like absolutely not, not a chance.
Speaker 3:He was like how about? If me and you both.
Speaker 2:I was like still, no way. Actually I was there for that. I remember that conversation. I remember that because I remember being like you're out of your fucking mind.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's no way. If you think you have a shot, have a shot.
Speaker 4:It'd take four of us to take that guy down. Dude, why don't we just send scrat gotta?
Speaker 1:get him on to hear his perspective on some of these stories yeah, dude, I mean like even at on tapping the sticks, we had the on tapping the sticks number two. We had a huge fire pit and, uh, our big pallet fire and we hadn't lit it up yet it wasn't fully dark and I guess scrat was talking all crazy to this group of people and my buddy comes up to me and he's like hey, I just want to let you know that scrat's talking about starting that fire up himself what the fuck?
Speaker 2:how and I go, how would he have even done that? Well, there was gas that we were using to get the other ones and he had a lighter, because he always got a light.
Speaker 1:And I go up to him and I'm like I heard you talk about starting up that fire. He's like, well, somebody fucking has to he was all I'm like dude, if you start that, fucking, fire you it wasn't even dark. Yeah, dude it was like 5 pm. If you start that fucking fire, I will kill.
Speaker 2:Dude, the fucking fire spinning lady isn't even here yet Wait.
Speaker 3:He's like we'll see. Dude, we got to get him on. He has to come on. We need to all.
Speaker 4:Just go to the bars one night with him and then just all rip back.
Speaker 2:I'll bring a portable version of the pod, just the tiny recorder and four mics. Sit him down, corner him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, talk In a? Yeah, talk in a booth talk. You think he would do it? Oh, dude, I think as long yeah, but I think he's too drunk to really know what's going on. That feels wrong.
Speaker 1:Almost that's the only time you could get him to do it, and you might not get the best content that way.
Speaker 3:So it's like it's a tough situation you don't think that would be the best con we got?
Speaker 4:to interview him throughout the night, like while he's really fucked up, just keep going off up to him every five minutes, like those sorority girl videos.
Speaker 2:It's like hi, my name is Brittany and this is me after one year.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I fucking hate those dude.
Speaker 1:I hate when girls want to have fun. What the fuck.
Speaker 2:Mitch is back on the pod. Literally Just fucking pisses me off, I remember this is so stupid.
Speaker 1:I remember this is so stupid. I remember when I was a little kid I told my sister that the song girls just want to have fun, it's just about girls wanting to have sex like we were just little kids and we get in the car and my mom like the song. This was probably a couple days later but the song comes on and she's like we can't listen to this because Sam said it's about sex. I was like dude bitch snitches be sn, sam said it's about sex.
Speaker 2:I was like dude bitch.
Speaker 1:Snitches be snitching.
Speaker 2:This actually does bring me back to another embarrassing moment. This was not drinking, but I remember I had to have been like shoot, eight or nine years old, m&m CD in hand and we played in my buddy's mom's car. We're like go to track six. It's like you make my pee, pee, go, that doink, doink doink, you know it's that song and she, just like she, literally stops the car, pulls over.
Speaker 2:Whose CD is this? Everyone points right at me. There's like three of us Points right at me and she's like I don't ever want to see this again, hands me back the cd, takes it out of the cd player.
Speaker 1:Those moments right there of a friend's parent yelling at you gives me ptsd, dude, I could not handle it.
Speaker 2:My parents never gave a shit what music I listened to that's like I never thought like, oh, this might not be okay, it's weird I?
Speaker 1:I don't even know, because my I got in trouble all the time. I had a yeller dad, but then if one of my friend's parents got mad at me, it was like it's so different buddy dude it fucked me up. Man, I was always on my best behavior at friends houses.
Speaker 3:I definitely wouldn't have broke out that fucking m&m cd when I was in fourth grade I was actually hanging out with scrat at scrat's house and his family was over and uh, we were playing catch with his uncle or something and his uncle was kind of fucking with us and his uncle was putting down the beers. But when you're a kid you don't really realize how alcohol affects.
Speaker 1:You know people especially if you don't have drinking parents.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because my parents didn't drink. I've never seen my parents drunk so having my dad?
Speaker 3:I didn't, I didn't know so like he was kind of he was kind of fucking with us in a joking way, you know, and so I was reciprocating it back, and then he must have had one too many beers and I must have said something that he didn't like, and he fucking starts just screaming at me. Just I remember him screaming at me and immediately I start crying I started crying immediately and I run to the house and I just go in the basement.
Speaker 3:I just hide in there and I and I remember it must have been, it must have been scrat's mom or something made him come down and apologize to me and like I feel like he was tripping. He's like listen, karen, I'm sorry, you know.
Speaker 1:You know I didn't mean that back there right, yeah, you were just, you pissed me off a little bit like I didn't know who he was, first time meeting them or nothing, so it was terrifying.
Speaker 2:That is scary, though. A full-ass grown man yelling at you. Yeah, I there's definitely a couple times I could think, and my parents aren't yellers.
Speaker 3:My parents don't drink, so it's not like I was accustomed to any of this it was.
Speaker 1:You grew up in a nice house yeah, very calm house did you guys ever have to get picked up from a sleepover?
Speaker 4:dude, I never had a sleep, dude.
Speaker 2:I did it. Oh, no, not, I did not, for me being scared, oh I.
Speaker 4:I was being a pussy you did, you were a pussy, you had picked up.
Speaker 1:Well, so for some reason in my household the word anxiety never existed. So, I was just a pussy for having anxiety. That's just what I like. If I was having some sort of anxiety spell, it was just I was being an overthinking pussy in my house and one of my biggest things that like was very repetitive throughout my life when I was young is if I couldn't fall asleep, I would start spiraling.
Speaker 1:It would get to the point where there was not a chance I was going to fall asleep, and the longer it took, the more I would freak out. And so it got me. One time I thought my mom was going to fucking kill me. I can't even believe to this day.
Speaker 1:She even picked me up, but I never even told my friend's parents either so she knocked on the door at like 11 oh, my god and her parents were like. I remember they were like kind of freaking out like do you guys? Know who's here. What is going on?
Speaker 2:and it's just my mom, I'm here to get sam he's, he's scared I told you about the time I told a very I didn't even know this at the time that it was racist, but I told a very racist joke at the dinner table and my buddy's parents were like stop dinner.
Speaker 4:Oh, I think you told me.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, my parents had to come pick me up. No way oh he kicked out of the house.
Speaker 4:No way. Very religious family I was going to say, weren't they really religious?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we prayed before dinner. Kind of deal.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my parents.
Speaker 2:They're all telling these innocent jokes, and I grew up at a bar. So I tell this bar joke, not knowing it was. I was so young, I had literally no idea what I was saying.
Speaker 1:I just know. Every time someone said it at the bar.
Speaker 3:it crushed People laughed.
Speaker 1:It, it crushed, it crushed everyone was dying laughing.
Speaker 4:So I'm like, oh, I'm gonna try this out. And it just did not.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I do, I'm not telling it. That's so funny, I'm not telling it. Can you just beep it out?
Speaker 4:no, like the whole thing is bad.
Speaker 2:Start to finish. It's not good. Yeah, they made me, you know, like hey it could be that was unacceptable you know we're done with dinner. We're done, you're done.
Speaker 3:Call your dad. That's insane.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:I thought it was funny. I was so confused I'm like why I don't there's crushes at the bar?
Speaker 2:I didn't even know that there was a separation. I got told a couple of times in second grade. I pulled out. Why are fire engines red? I don't know. I told this to the teacher, the second grade teacher. I don't know why. Well, you'd be red too if someone was pulling on your hose all day. That was another one To the office.
Speaker 3:Don't know what it means. Hey, I said this joke.
Speaker 4:Don't be teaching. Bear this shit.
Speaker 2:Get a list of the best bar jokes to tell Bear, so he has some bangers for preschool.
Speaker 4:You know what he said to Grandpa the other day. Middlefinger F you.
Speaker 2:Sam was telling me about that. Bro, can you imagine I look?
Speaker 4:over and my dad's like what did you say? And I just knew it from the childhood, I just knew it. I'm like I knew the look, I heard the voice. I'm like cooking dinner and he's like what did you say? And I come over, I'm like what did he say? And he goes tell daddy what you said. He wouldn't say it. But then my dad's like turn around, he goes you fl.
Speaker 1:I'm like what? And his kid is two and a half too, you know, like just as innocent as you can be it's crazy that he used it in the right way too, with some anger to it no, he doesn't know what it means.
Speaker 4:He obviously doesn't know what it means was it like a playful thing? His tonality, I think, makes all the difference he obviously doesn't know what it means, but it's like he learned it somewhere not my house, because I don't be having people over to eat.
Speaker 2:Did he say it like it was a funny giddy thing, or was it like there was some I'm standing on business, kind of no, just like he said it, don't fuck with me.
Speaker 4:He just hears it like a conversation I guess. But it's just like when he says heck yeah, you can't say heck yeah because it sounds like fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:So we have to say oh yeah, oh yeah, or else it's fuck yeah, dude, honestly, I was at Willie's chilling with him and having a filter is really fucking tough for me it's a lot harder than you think, but his kid's at the age where you can be like hey Barrett, say any word and he'll spit it right back out to you. So you know he's just taking everything in dude, dude.
Speaker 3:that's hard not to use that to your advantage.
Speaker 4:What did we say to call Scrat the other day? Not Trans Billy, because that one was too far.
Speaker 2:Uncle Swirly, yeah, uncle.
Speaker 4:Swirly.
Speaker 3:And he said it. He's like Uncle Swirly, dude that's a lot of power to have and not have fun with it Dude.
Speaker 4:He straight up calls him Uncle Scrat. He's actually Uncle.
Speaker 1:Scrat I was running through a few nicknames with him.
Speaker 2:He kills the Uncle Scrat every time we gotta get Bear on the pod.
Speaker 4:He's so crabby today, dude.
Speaker 2:With Uncle Scrat.
Speaker 4:Just a Bear, and Scrat episode.
Speaker 2:Them arguing with each other.
Speaker 1:I was calling Scrat Onk the other day and he just hated it. I'm like dude we call you Scrat. Unk is where you're drawn the fucking line.
Speaker 2:That's too fucking far dude.
Speaker 3:Greasy Muskrat is fine, but Unk is too far.
Speaker 2:That is too far. That's fucked up, that you would say that it's fucked up dude Just ruined his entire night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, apparently, man, I'll go back to Scrat or skrill billy way better.
Speaker 2:I heard you're in a new relationship.
Speaker 1:Who's your boyfriend? Oh you know, scrat it's like dude, you gotta end that nickname right now that is a good point.
Speaker 2:Is scrat in the dating scene right?
Speaker 1:now he, he is dude, he's a fucking.
Speaker 2:He's never left. He's a Tinder merchant. Really, he actually slays, he lines up.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Fucking right what. You got a little fucking, a little bit of alcohol and some confidence in a bunch of Tinder matches, you can make some magic happen.
Speaker 4:All right. What are they like? One through tens, though.
Speaker 2:I want to see what his profile is.
Speaker 1:Never see him.
Speaker 4:He never shows pictures but I've seen the cars in the driveway at Vouch. You got Tinder. I do have Tinder.
Speaker 1:I don't actually have an active profile, just download it, switch it to mails and just see what his profile looks like. Oh, I've definitely seen his profile.
Speaker 2:I've definitely had people send me his profile. Oh, like screenshots, absolutely, look who.
Speaker 1:I saw. And those are exactly why I don't have a tinder profile public because that scares me, dude, because it's like either you don't put a lot into it and then you just look like you don't give a shit, or you put too much into it and then you look like a fucking pussy when I had tinder I built the profile if one of my friends saw it.
Speaker 3:I didn't build it for the girls. Yeah, like I would. You obviously have to post pictures of yourself on there, but if there's one that's kind of a gay selfie, I wouldn't put it on there because I knew if sam saw it or something that would haunt me. So you have to pick the perfect amount of gay to where you know the girl still will be attracted to the profile, but not too gay to where if a friend sees it to where, if it gets sent into the group chat, you're not, you don't want to fucking kill.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and there's a lot of math behind that it has to be a perfect 50-50 of gay and not gay. I will say, TKav walked me through setting up a Tinder profile a couple years ago. He helped me build it, get some pictures in, and he had some really good pointers. I see why he has a girlfriend. The man's got the wrist.
Speaker 3:Wasn't off Tinder, but. That's even better dude Old school baby and you never helped me out back in the day.
Speaker 2:Beans. Beans you didn't need any help in the day, your lady that you're with right now.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Is this a Tinderella?
Speaker 4:No, this Country Fest, Really Country girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah Woodbury, yeah Woodbury country girl yeah, she's a freshman actually.
Speaker 4:In college. Thanks for clarifying. God, yeah, don't be saying stupid shit.
Speaker 1:Either way is fine. We're in a small town.
Speaker 3:It's actually his cousin From Woodbury you guys are so fucked up, so fucked up that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:We got to get the hillbilly going a little more in our territory.
Speaker 4:You know, bro, you already have to ask dad am I related to this person? See, I don't have that problem because I'm the first generation in pine but.
Speaker 1:I do have friends where, like the amount I've, I've actually been in the car with one of my friends and their mom was in there and we were like talking about how a girl from school was hot and she was like um, you realize that's your cousin, right like to my buddy dude that's even like surrounding towns, like mora, the fix family is huge, like there's a whole mora side to the Fix family.
Speaker 4:I got to be careful back in the day wherever I talked.
Speaker 1:The tough part about a small town is you're either fucking your cousins or your buddy's exes, and there's really not a lot in between.
Speaker 4:That's true. Or your buddy's mom, that's true.
Speaker 2:Not a lot to choose from the prize pool getting real low siblings are off limits. Words of wisdom, that's a new one for the wall of shame. I feel like, yeah, you're either fucking your your buddy's exes or your cousin?
Speaker 1:well, fuck, we might as well go out on that plane. I mean, I don't I don't see this going anywhere else.
Speaker 4:I I'm sick of looking at Willie. Yeah and hey. You know what at least I said? Over 18 fucking words. I'm proud of myself. Feels good to be back.
Speaker 1:The man's back. Yeah, just fucking back.
Speaker 4:Dude I just need a couple more M things in me.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, feels good, gotta go watch the kid, put him to bed with a few beers, Dude, he's gonna fucking crash.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna go play some Minecraft T-Cap.
Speaker 2:Thanks for coming, Willie thanks for coming, sam, thanks for always being here. I appreciate that man. Thank you boys Later.
Speaker 4:He ain't got no fucking busy shit to do.
