a woman's SEX DRIVE during/post pregnancy!

From feeling as horny as a teenage boy to loosing my sex drive completely - to then learning to get it back! This is the story of my sex drive during and post pregnancy. Becoming a mother is an insanely intense and stressful experience for women, of course we don't feel horny. But being pressured by our partners during that time only makes it worse....

Find out about my personal experiences, how i found love and lust while being pregnant and what type of relationship style helped me to find my sex drive again while raising a toddler. 

Transcript

Hey, guys. Welcome to another episode of Roxy's Bangin Podcast, season two. Today I'm going to talk about my sex drive during and post pregnancy. This is something very interesting because I have experienced a crazy sex drive like.

That of a man.

And shortly after, I had no sex drive anymore. And then it came back, it went away again. And I figured out how to keep.

The sex drive healthy while in a relationship, while being a new mother.

And I want to share all of.

That with you in my juicy series.

Which is on My Onlyfans.

I will talk about how I met.

This guy while I was pregnant and how I fell in love and in lust with him. And I'm going to talk about all the juicy details of having wild, passionate.

Sex with him while being pregnant. Let's start. In the second trimester of my pregnancy.

I was on my boat with my girlfriends, and suddenly I felt so horny.

Like I never felt before. I was thinking about sex all day long. The first thought when I woke up and the last thought after masturbating before.

I went to sleep.

I needed to masturbate all the time, and I needed to fuck. I wanted to have sex so badly. But the thing is, I just broke up with my ex a few months.

Prior, and I was on a boat.

And I was pregnant.

So it was not so easy for.

Me to just have sex. And it was so difficult.

I think I can imagine how it's like for young guys that don't have.

The opportunity to have sex, but that.

Are full of these hormones.

Like, you just want to fuck and you think about sex all day long, but you can't get it and you get so frustrated.

Of course, they watch porn all day long. So, yeah, I was in this situation and I couldn't have sex because, well, I was still healing and I had.

A baby growing inside of me.

So, you know, you don't want to.

Have this, like, random dick inside of you so close to your baby.

Also, I was pregnant. Like, I looked pregnant. I had a big baby bump.

You're not so confident when you look like that.

You know, you're like, you think nobody is going to sleep with you. And I think most guys also will.

Think twice before sleeping with you because it's.

Yeah, you're not only having sex with that woman.

There's also another little being there.

So, yes, I was very horny and very frustrated. I was just talking about sex all.

Day long and how much I wanted it.

And I was going crazy.

I was masturbating all the time.

I was very Very lucky to finally arrive with my. With my catamaran on a beach.

I met someone.

It's an interesting story because he is.

Much younger than me.

He was 22 by the time that we met.

I was anchored in front of this.

Beach and I took my girlfriends with the dinghy to shore. And because it was a bit wavy and the dinghy is heavy and I was pregnant, I had difficulties pulling the boat onto the beach.

So this guy comes running to help me and it's this tanned surfer guy with wavy blonde hair, super handsome face. He comes running to help me and I look at him and I'm like, oh, my God, this is the most.

Handsome guy I've ever seen.

Obviously a guy coming to help me after I've been doing everything on my.

Own by myself for so many months.

A guy that is much younger, a guy that is extremely handsome.

And together mixed with the pregnancy hormones.

Yeah, that was my end.

From that moment, I was in love.

With him, in love and in lust. And I went crazy.

And for the next two weeks, I was talking to my girlfriends about how.

The fuck am I going to fuck him? How am I going to make the first move? What am I going to say?

He's also a little bit shy and.

He doesn't make the first move generally.

So everything to lure him onto my boat and well, finally I did it. I'm talking more about this whole situation in the Juicy series, but let me just say that the next few months I had very passionate sex.

It was not the craziest and it was not the wildest sex because I was pregnant.

And you don't go crazy when there's the baby, right? Like joining you basically.

And also you feel uncomfortable, you feel.

Fat, you can't lie on your belly, you can't be on top because it's uncomfortable. Like, just moving my hips was a little bit painful. So I was basically mostly lying on my back and he was like kind.

Of fucking me from the side. But I was having sex and I.

Felt very, very lucky. And because he was 22, he could give it to me, you know, four.

Or five times a day.

And that's what I needed because I.

Was so, so horny. Wow. And I'm not, by the way.

Like, don't think I'm crazy. This is completely normal. I spoke to a lot of pregnant.

Women and mothers and they all said.

Yeah, the second trimester is crazy.

You are so, so horny.

I think it's these crazy levels of estrogen. It's a little weird trick of mother Nature. Because why does Mother Nature make us so horny in this time? It's strange, isn't it?

I haven't figured that out yet, but I will anyway.

I was having a lot of sex.

And eventually the horniness stopped. As you enter the third trimester and everything becomes a little painful and difficult.

And heavy, also the sex drive disappears.

That was also the time when I was alone again. You know, your body, your mind, everything is preparing to move from maiden to mother.

You enter the next stage of your life.

And in this stage, sex does not.

Play a single role, because everything, your entire being, your entire body is just.

Preparing for birth and for motherhood.

And that is something very, very, very intense.

Giving birth as well as being a mother, there's no space for sex in that time.

Well, I had zero sex drive after giving birth. Also, my body was completely broken.

It's the biggest trauma your body can have.

I was bleeding for six weeks.

Big blood clots were coming out of my vagina.

I couldn't walk. I had a lot of pain. I was tired.

Like, it's very, very heavy giving birth, in case you didn't know. But yes, there is no space for sex. And luckily I was also alone and.

I was in this love bubble with my son. I had the most beautiful experience being.

In this love bubble with him.

And thank God I have to say there was no man asking me for sexual.

And I have to say at this point, guys, if you ever become a father, please don't ask your wife or girlfriend for sex.

We are not supposed to have sex the first few months after giving birth. We are supposed to heal. We are supposed to take care of the babies.

We can't give you anything.

We can't even open our legs for you just so that you can come. You coming is not important in this moment.

I had a lot of guys ask.

Me about this on my onlyfans before.

I gave birth as well.

And I didn't really know what to say. I was like, well, you know, can.

You masturbate or can she do other.

Things like give you a hand job?

No, no, she doesn't have to even give you a hand job. She doesn't have to do anything for your satisfaction.

Because the 100% that she gives for.

Her baby is just enough.

Just enough. She actually would need a little bit.

More energy for the baby.

Not for you, not for her friends, not for her family, not for her work, not for anything else than her baby.

So, guys, it is your role in these months to be of service for.

Her to to love her, to help.

Her, to massage her, to change nappies.

To cook for her, to clean the.

House because she is suffering. It is very, very, very difficult, this stage.

Okay, so all we need is your support.

Don't expect anything from us. So, yeah, I was actually really happy that I was alone in this time.

And that no one was ever expecting anything from me. And I feel sorry for the girls.

And the women that have partners that ask them for sex in this very.

Vulnerable, sensitive, precious time. It's a very spiritual time for us. We feel closer to God than we will ever feel. We have just created life.

And every part of our body, every.

Little bit of energy that we have, is only for the baby, for the baby to survive.

Yeah, I had zero sex drive, and I was very lucky to not having to give sex to anyone.

Look, the situation will not stay forever.

The sex drive does come back. And my sex drive came back exactly.

Two weeks before I got my first period. And that was when I had my first ovulation. And the sex drive was so intense.

That I knew I was ovulating. I even made a post about it.

Before having gotten my period and before actually knowing that this was my ovulation.

Well, I knew that it was the ovulation and I posted it. And I was like, guys, oh my God, I'm ovulating.

My hormones are coming back. This is exciting. This was around the time when I met that same guy again.

Well, we started having passionate sex again, but this time without me being pregnant, and this time me having my old body back, my hormones being regulated, and us falling in love with each other again.

So that was a very beautiful time.

And from this moment on, I have.

Experienced two different scenarios. In these different scenarios, my sex drive was very different. I have experienced being in a family unit with this guy. And I have experienced being a single mom.

And when being in a family unit and being together all the time, living together, sleeping together, my sex drive slowly but surely completely disappeared. I. I couldn't explain why.

But after three months, it was gone.

That first year of motherhood is not easy. You are very tired. You have to watch your child every second. And it's difficult to be horny. When you have to focus on your child all the time, it's difficult to focus on yourself and your own pleasure.

Your own pleasure doesn't matter anymore. All you think about is the baby. All you worry about is the baby. The only thing that you want is for your baby to survive and to be happy.

Your own needs don't matter anymore.

So it's very difficult to have a.

Sex drive if you don't give a fuck about your needs. Being in this family unit, I had no space for myself. I had no time for myself. He was there all the time, so I was never excited to see him.

And it got so bad that eventually I broke up. Because I was thinking, what's the point if all I want is to be.

Alone with my son?

We have no sex, because I have.

No sex drive, and I didn't want to give him sex if I don't have a sex drive, because I'm not like that.

If I'm not feeling it and I'm giving it to you, it's wrong.

Of course, I did it a few times, but in the end, I felt actually really bad. And for the first time, I felt how it's like to be a woman giving sex to your man without wanting it.

My God.

Well, I don't want to compare it to rape, but it's having sex without wanting it.

And I want guys to understand that if your girlfriend is giving you sex without wanting it, okay, cool, you might come. But is this really what you want?

Or do you guys maybe need to figure out something else?

And that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to figure out something else. I was not happy with this situation.

I was not going to have a.

Relationship in which I don't want to have sex with the guy I'm with. I'd rather be single because I'm very happy single. I'm thriving when I'm single. So I broke up.

Let me tell you. It took just a few weeks.

And my sex drive came back.

And I realized the sex drive came back because finally I had time alone. Time alone with my son, time alone with myself.

Also, you know, when you break up.

You kind of try to become a better version, right? You lose weight, you exercise more, you flirt.

And these are things that I started doing. And with that, my sex drive came back. Thank God.

Because I was like, fuck.

I just got my sex drive back, and now it's disappearing again.

What is happening? My sex drive is quite important for me, as you can imagine, because the love is strong. And this story I'm having with this guy is.

Well, it's intense. There is something. We decided to give it another try.

But this time we will not make the same mistakes as before.

I don't want to live with him. I want to live alone. I want to be a happy single mama. And that means that he is not always in my space.

I'm Taking care of my son alone.

I am sleeping alone, but I want to see him and I want to.

Go on dates with him. And I also want him to.

To be with my son.

But when we do all of that.

It'S something special and we appreciate each other and we take time for each other. We do something fun, we do something special. With this scenario, my sex drive state, it didn't disappear.

And that is because we're going on dates. We don't always see each other and.

See the bad versions of each other.

We're not stressed together when we see each other. It's full on support, it's full on love, it's full on appreciation, and it's doing fun, beautiful things. And I think that this can be the solution for a lot of couples.

Maybe it's not always necessary to always be together. Maybe it's not even necessary to live together. Because I can tell you that a woman can do everything by herself. We can raise a child alone if we have the financial support.

We don't need the man to be there all the time. No, we can do everything alone. And if we do everything alone, we actually fully focus on the child as well.

And I think this is where we.

Can find true happiness and fulfillment as a mother by fully, fully, fully focusing on the child. Because when I have a guy there, my boyfriend, he needs my attention. He's talking to me and I have to listen.

He's asking me questions and I have to answer. He wants things from me. As a mother, it's very difficult to be a mother where you have to watch your child all the time and answer questions and give energy to the boyfriend, do things for him, cook for.

Him, and then maybe he even wants a massage.

And I don't know what else he wants.

It doesn't work.

You can give 100% to your child, and then you can sometimes give 100% to the other person. But for this, you need a babysitter. And then sometimes you can be 100% in this family unit where you divide your energy.

50, 50. But you can't always do that as a woman. And I think this is stressing women out.

A lot of women are going to get stressed like this because I can't.

Be the only one. So maybe I'm giving food for thought for some couples here that are in this situation. This was the solution for me. And right now it seems like everything is healthy.

My sex drive is back and I'm actually super happy.

Maybe one day you will be in this situation, and maybe you will remember my words and this podcast and you.

Will think, okay, how can we create space for everyone?

The guy has his space.

The woman has her space. Not just as a woman, but also as a mother.

And can you make the times that.

You spend together more special so that.

You can get excited for each other again?

I hope that this episode was also a little bit of a lesson for you guys to give women space, especially after giving birth.

Okay? Give your woman the time to heal, the time to only be a mother. And this is also a time for guys to change and become fathers.

Fucking coming is not important in this moment anymore. Meditate, do yoga, do tantra, learn to.

Control yourself, to be a better man, to be a better husband. And then when her hormones are regulated.

When she has her body back, then it's time for you to enjoy again.

My next podcast episode is going to be about either giving birth or healing from narcissistic abuse. Ladder is a very heavy topic. I don't know if I'm ready to tap into that right now because I need to be very strong.

But let's see, I might be.

And if not, I'm going to talk.

About the most life changing, the most beautiful, incredible, horrible and painful experience a woman can have, that is giving birth, sending you all my love.