WEBVTT 00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:18.719 This morning, our scripture passage, the first scripture passage is taken from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 16, verse 18. 00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:23.920 And then the second will be from Matthew 19, verses 1 through 9. 00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:41.280 And if you uh don't have your Bible with you, there should be one located right in front of you there, in that little pocket in the pew in front of you, and you can find the scripture passage, the first one on page 876, and the second one on page 824. 00:00:42.399 --> 00:00:58.960 And uh I also want to say, if you're here and you don't own a copy of the Bible for yourself, that uh we would really like to give you that pew Bible that you have for you to take it home as uh our gift to you uh to read and to study. 00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:11.120 And so please, if you don't own a Bible of your own, uh please take that one and make it yours and study it, bring it back each week, and we'll go through a passage at a time. 00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:17.359 Luke chapter 16, beginning uh in verse 18, and then we'll go on to the Matthew passage. 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:19.599 Luke 16, verse 18. 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:26.239 Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:31.599 And he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. 00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:46.000 And now in Matthew chapter 19, beginning in verse 1, Matthew chapter 19, verse 1. 00:01:47.439 --> 00:01:58.480 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan, and large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:07.200 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? 00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:14.800 He answered, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? 00:02:15.199 --> 00:02:23.919 And said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:27.120 So they are no longer two but one. 00:02:27.759 --> 00:02:32.639 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:39.840 They said to him, Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:49.360 He said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:58.240 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. 00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:01.120 Thus ends the reading of God's word. 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:10.400 This week and the next couple weeks, I want to talk in greater detail about marriage and divorce. 00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:21.599 A question that I think each one of us at some point, in some way, has been touched by in the culture that we live in. 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:33.439 And I think it's a significant and important topic for us to talk about and to walk through the scripture and to see what the Bible says on these topics. 00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:38.879 Um this morning I want us to begin and we're going to talk about marriage. 00:03:39.039 --> 00:04:04.639 Um, I think that it would be uh premature and presumptive to talk about uh the question of divorce without first uh laying out what the Bible says about marriage, uh so that we have it clearly in our minds uh what uh God's will is and what his intention is for the institution of marriage. 00:04:05.520 --> 00:04:07.599 Now, to whom does this message apply? 00:04:07.680 --> 00:04:10.080 And I think it applies to all of us. 00:04:10.400 --> 00:04:22.319 Clearly, uh for those of us who are married, uh this is a challenge for us to understand anew uh the covenant commitment that we have made to our spouses. 00:04:22.639 --> 00:04:37.120 And so whether you are newly married or you have been married 30 or 40 or even 50 years or longer, uh, we need to be reminded again and again what God's word says in regards to the institution of marriage. 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:40.720 Uh but if you're not married, please don't tune me out. 00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:48.240 Uh I know that for some, maybe marriage isn't even on the horizon, or maybe you don't even know if you will ever be married. 00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:50.240 But uh I want to encourage you to listen. 00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:56.000 One, uh it may be that even later in life, God brings a person into your life uh to marry. 00:04:56.160 --> 00:05:01.040 I've known people in their 40s and even 50s uh that have been married for the first time. 00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:05.040 I was 35 when I uh was got married. 00:05:05.279 --> 00:05:09.680 I thought after I hit 30 that life was over and I was never going to find anyone. 00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:16.800 And God, in his graciousness, just uh wanted me to wait for something even better than I could imagine. 00:05:17.839 --> 00:05:20.399 But for all of us, this applies. 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:31.279 And I want to encourage you, even for parents of young children, that uh take to heart some of these things that we're going to talk about today so that you might teach them to your children. 00:05:31.519 --> 00:05:50.079 Um I think that when I look at the institution of marriage and I look at what's happening in our culture and honestly what's happening in our church, I recognize that uh in many ways we need to do something differently than we're doing. 00:05:50.480 --> 00:06:04.560 If the statistics nationwide are even close to accurate about those who profess to be born-again Christians, um I recognize that there is something that is amiss that we need to address. 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:13.040 Let me make one other point to those of you who may be here this morning who have gone through a divorce. 00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:18.079 Uh by the things I say this morning, I don't want to cause you added pain. 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:36.720 Uh perhaps as you listen this morning, that you might recognize an area of your life, or perhaps even an area of sin in your life that you haven't confessed, and this is God's call for you to turn to Him and grace and forgiveness and be embraced by the love of our Savior. 00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:49.759 And if you have experienced a failed marriage and you have been sinned against by your former partner, uh know that God loves you and that he is the healer of broken hearts. 00:06:50.000 --> 00:07:03.519 And so I don't want you to hear what I'm saying this morning and take it in a way that uh is not intended, but we do need to look through uh what the Bible says about marriage. 00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:07.600 You know, we do some good things in marriage and marriage preparation. 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:15.839 I know here as a church we have mandatory premarital counseling uh for those who are going to be married here as a part of the church. 00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:18.959 We try to encourage them uh to go through that. 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:34.800 Um, but even as I think about that, if you go through six or eight weeks, I know some churches even have uh longer premarital counseling than that, uh, really preparation for marriage needs to begin much sooner than during the engagement period. 00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:57.279 Um really, it needs to begin in childhood, it needs to begin during youth ministry, it needs to begin so that throughout the life of the church, as uh children grow up and they begin to think about being married, that they understand the reality of the weight of the commitment of the vow that they are going to make. 00:07:57.759 --> 00:08:09.600 And so I think as a church to recognize that uh in some ways uh we have uh done some good things, but that we need to build on it and do even more. 00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:26.879 And uh I would add to that that um even in regards to uh to marriage, um teaching children and understanding the essentials of it uh is vital to uh the the health of the church. 00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:42.639 In our culture, marriage, and I realized this when I got married, uh, having been in a lot of other weddings, um so much time and energy and effort is taken on that wedding day. 00:08:43.279 --> 00:09:00.399 I think of the amount of uh emotional energy of just talking about all of the details and all of the nuances and all of the different choices that have to be made, and some I'd never even considered and thinking through. 00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:20.320 But even as I was going through that process myself, I thought to myself, you know, wouldn't it be much better if I took half the energy that I was spending on this one hour or 45 minutes and took that energy and focused it on my marriage, not just my wedding day. 00:09:21.039 --> 00:09:44.159 And I think in our culture, we have made uh the wedding day of such high priority uh that it's taken an inordinate focus away from a young couple or an older couple preparing for their actual marriage because so much of their time and energy and effort is focused on the wedding ceremony. 00:09:44.399 --> 00:10:03.200 And so, even in thinking through, I think there is much ground that still needs to be plowed as a church, and how do we help young couples and even uh those who aren't ready for marriage yet to uh plan for marriage? 00:10:04.320 --> 00:10:51.200 I think even as a church, too, and as parents and of those who have loved ones, um, you know, there are times, and I've seen this even in my own life with friends of mine, that there are times as a church or as a pastor or as a parent or as a friend, where if we see somebody who is in a relationship that we recognize is not healthy or right or good, that as we understand what the high calling of marriage is, that we have the courage to step up and to step into that situation, even saying to the person, you know, as I see your relationship, I do not believe you're in a place to get married. 00:10:51.519 --> 00:11:06.080 Or as I've had to do with a couple of my friends over the years, that I've had this to meet with them and say, I want you to know that I don't think that this is a good relationship, and the two of you shouldn't get married at all. 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:21.200 That there are too many problems, too many challenges, there's too much unhealth in the relationship, that where you are in the direction that you're going, uh you're not going to be in a place to have a healthy marriage. 00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:32.960 And so I think as a church, as we understand the calling of marriage, that we're willing to have the courage to say the tough things. 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:46.080 And as parents, as friends, as uh as relatives, uh, as uh people who are close to the situation, even as a pastor, I feel the pressure of doing premarital counseling. 00:11:46.159 --> 00:12:00.879 And I I've had to uh tell couples that I don't believe that they should get married, and I don't believe that I'm the one to perform your wedding if you're going to move forward with this marriage because of the things that have come up during our time together. 00:12:01.279 --> 00:12:05.840 And let me say, you're you're not popular by doing that. 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:17.600 But we need to have the courage to recognize how true love sometimes has to say the things that aren't easy to say. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:20.960 So this morning I want us to talk about marriage. 00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:26.879 I'm going to base it primarily in Matthew 19 and then Genesis chapter 2. 00:12:26.960 --> 00:12:34.480 Um and just dealing with the institution of marriage, we'll deal with other questions uh coming up in the next few weeks. 00:12:34.559 --> 00:12:43.600 And so I'm not glossing over them, but I want to deal with them uh having laid this foundation of what the Bible says in regards to marriage. 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:46.639 And so this morning I want us to talk about two realities of marriage. 00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:57.919 I'm not going to say everything there is to say about marriage, but I do want to talk about two realities, uh the foundation of marriage, and then uh how marriage should look in practice. 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:07.759 And so uh, first of all, I want us to look at the foundation of marriage and what Jesus says here in Matthew and what it says in Genesis chapter 2. 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:13.600 So if you have your bookmark, uh we're going to be going back and forth between Matthew 19 and Genesis 2. 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:23.759 So feel free to uh put a bookmark in there as we look at what the Bible says in regards to marriage. 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.159 Jesus' approach by the Pharisees. 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:30.080 There were different schools of thought in regards to marriage and divorce. 00:13:30.320 --> 00:13:38.399 Uh there was a very lax school of thought that thought for any and every reason that there was uh divorce. 00:13:38.559 --> 00:13:45.440 There was a more strict school that thought there were some uh reasons why divorce was legitimate. 00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:46.960 And they they approached Jesus. 00:13:47.039 --> 00:13:55.039 They really want to catch him on the horns of a dilemma in regards to this issue because it was such a cultural hot topic. 00:13:55.600 --> 00:13:58.399 And so Jesus begins to answer them. 00:13:58.559 --> 00:14:03.840 They asked this question, verse 3 of Matthew 19, is it lawful to divorce one for any cause? 00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:08.240 Which was one of the ideas that was floating around during Jesus' day. 00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:18.720 But he answers them and he says, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:36.080 And so in verse 4, he says that from the beginning, uh that the that there is something that goes prior to uh the fall, prior to uh Moses' directive uh to God's intention for marriage from the beginning. 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:42.320 And so in verse 4 he says, have you not heard that from the beginning, this and so he says we need to go back to the beginning. 00:14:42.399 --> 00:14:44.480 And again, he says that in verse 8. 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:53.039 Um in verse 8 he says, he said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:58.159 And so a proper understanding of marriage needs to go back to the beginning. 00:14:58.399 --> 00:15:02.080 Of what was God's intention for marriage. 00:15:02.559 --> 00:15:07.919 We need to understand uh the original intent uh for marriage. 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:12.240 So Jesus tells us that we need to look at how God established marriage. 00:15:12.399 --> 00:15:19.759 We need to go back to the institution established by God in Adam and Eve. 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:34.320 And so, any questions that we have in regards to this issue of marriage, we need to understand, first of all, what is the creation ordinance that God established between this man and this woman? 00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:38.480 And Jesus lists one of them in this passage. 00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:45.440 He says, uh, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? 00:15:47.679 --> 00:16:03.919 And so one of the things we learn about marriage, which would have seemed to have been up until our present day, an obvious established fact that by definition, marriage is between a man and a woman. 00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:07.759 That this is God's original intent. 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:12.559 And look in Genesis, Jesus is gonna, uh he points us back to Genesis. 00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:20.399 Uh this is prior to sin entering into the world, this is with Adam and Eve prior to the fall. 00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:26.320 And uh, God had pronounced over the six days of creation, and every day he said, It is good. 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:28.000 The Bible says that it is good. 00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:34.159 And in fact, uh, the entire created order, it is said that God's creation is good. 00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:40.720 Now we get to chapter two, he gets to the end of the sixth day, and it and God pronounces it very good. 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:53.279 And now we see Adam there in the garden, verse 18, Genesis chapter 2, and the Lord makes a pronouncement, and he says, The Lord said, It is not good that man should be alone. 00:16:54.080 --> 00:17:03.120 And so for the first time in the created order, something is not right, is not good. 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:06.400 And it says it here, it's not good that man should be alone. 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:12.319 And so uh God tells us what the Bible tells us what God is going to do. 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:16.799 God says, I will make him a helper fit for him. 00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:36.640 That I am going to make a companion, a helper, a helpmate, uh, somebody who is going to be the complement of man, who is going to be like man, but different from man, so that they are going to be complementary creatures in a relationship together. 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:40.960 And so the Bible tells us that that is what God did. 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:47.359 That he uh he shows uh Adam all of the beasts of the field. 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:58.000 Um Adam names them, uh all of the livestock, and then we see um that God provides for Adam a wife. 00:17:58.079 --> 00:18:12.720 It says, so the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon man, and while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with its flesh, and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:30.559 And I think it's significant that God creates woman from man, taken from Adam, to be distinct from Adam, and then is given to Adam to be one for them to be uh complementary in this relationship. 00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:38.640 Uh Matthew Henry, in his commentary, makes this great observation, and I think it's you've probably heard this in weddings. 00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:41.279 Um Matthew Henry makes this observation. 00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:43.119 He he says this about marriage. 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:59.920 He says, Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him. 00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:14.240 And I think in very poetic language, there is a lot of truth to what God did in creating Eve from Adam and giving Eve to Adam as a complementary creation. 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:20.960 And so God's intention for marriage is only between one man and one woman for life. 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:29.759 He designed this for the well-being of the family, and within the context, uh, it's the only context in which children are to be conceived. 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:31.599 And I have a short video. 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:39.920 I don't want to delve into all of the issues regarding this cultural question, uh, but there was a video that uh that was brought to my attention. 00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:54.960 It was made in Ireland, and so uh if you'll notice the difference in uh uh in their accent and and some of their words, but uh a video uh expressing why marriage is between one between a man and a woman. 00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:58.079 And so if we can cue that video and show that now. 00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:07.039 When a man and a woman fall in love, they can get married, right? 00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:12.000 So why can't two men or two women who love each other get married as well? 00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:14.400 Isn't it discrimination to stop them? 00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:18.960 Except it's not discrimination to treat different situations in different ways. 00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:24.480 Everyone in caring dependent relationships deserves legal protection, including gay people. 00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:27.759 But the relationship of a man and a woman is unique. 00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:35.039 Only a man and a woman can make new life, only a man and a woman can give a child a mum and a dad. 00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:38.400 No two men and no two women can ever do this. 00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:42.079 So it makes sense to treat something unique in a unique way. 00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:44.000 That's not discrimination. 00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:49.359 Marriage is a private promise between two people, but it has a big public purpose as well. 00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:51.920 That purpose is unique and important. 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:55.599 To give children the love of their mom and dad in one family. 00:20:55.839 --> 00:21:02.240 Of course, not all married couples have children, but every child ever born has a most handed out. 00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:08.720 Marriage between a man and a woman recognizes this basic fact, and that's why marriage is a most important social. 00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:22.480 It's our way of saying that the differences between men and women matter, that the differences between mothers and fathers matter, and that kids have a right to fight they love words, a loving moment died. 00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:26.960 So let's not change the message of marriage by redefining it. 00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:30.079 For the sake of our children. 00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.759 There's a third point, a third truth in regards to the foundation. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:12.319 Of marriage, and this is one that I think to me is one of the most significant and central realities of marriage and is often overlooked. 00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:30.160 I think if the implications of it were understood and accepted and lived out, it would make a fundamental difference in how we relate as husbands and wives, and I think it would make a difference in our entire perspective on the institution of marriage. 00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:42.880 And so let me share with you this third truth that we find in the pages of the Bible, and that is this marriage is not a contract, but a covenant relationship. 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:45.599 We don't think in terms of covenants. 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:47.519 The Bible talks about covenants. 00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:50.000 We don't think in terms of covenants. 00:22:50.079 --> 00:23:02.079 We're very familiar with the idea of a contract, and oftentimes we equate the two, but they really are different and distinct in a very uh in a number of key ways. 00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:05.119 What's the difference between a contract and a covenant? 00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:06.079 Aren't they the same thing? 00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:07.519 And I would say no, they're not. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:13.839 And our understanding of the difference is key to our understanding of how marriage is supposed to function. 00:23:14.319 --> 00:23:32.240 And I think again, as young couples who are preparing to be married, uh, older couples, even as you evaluate your own relationship, to ask yourself, is this the reality by which I function out of, make my decisions, and treat my spouse? 00:23:32.640 --> 00:23:36.400 And so the idea of a covenant as opposed to a contract. 00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:37.519 Um, Winston T. 00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:41.359 Smith in his book Marriage Matters talks about what a contract is. 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:46.400 And he says a contract is really you give to get. 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:48.400 You give to get. 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:50.720 That is the essence of a contract. 00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:56.319 He says this: a formal agreement to give to get is called a contract. 00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:59.359 If you do your part, then I'll do my part. 00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:01.519 We all live with contracts, he says. 00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:05.839 Contracts are often put into place to prevent people from manipulating one another. 00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:09.440 We use contracts to enforce rules of fair play. 00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:14.319 In that sense, even the pagans and tax collectors observed a crude form of love. 00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:16.960 You remember they even love those who love them. 00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:22.160 But that isn't the fullness of love that we're called to in marriage. 00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:29.279 Unfortunately, in our culture and even sometimes in our own thinking, we view marriage as a contract. 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:45.200 That I have my, I've made an agreement with my spouse, and I have things that I've agreed to do, and she has had things that she agrees to do, and I fulfill my part of the bargain, she fulfills her part of the bargain, I owe this to her, she owes this to me. 00:24:45.359 --> 00:25:06.319 And if she doesn't fulfill her part of the bargain, then that gives me the right to not fulfill my part of the bargain because it's a mutual agreement, it's a contract that we have entered into, and and so there is a sense of expectation, a sense of obligation, uh a sense of uh of a right uh that we might have. 00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:19.519 We see contracts and even in sporting uh events, uh, sports figures, they're under contract and they decide that they don't like the terms of the contract, and so they're gonna renegotiate the contract to get a better deal. 00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:21.759 They may walk out on their contract. 00:25:21.839 --> 00:25:26.640 We see uh lawsuits of people suing uh for breach of contract. 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:28.880 There's this, but there's a give to get. 00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:43.680 I give you something, you give me something, I get something from you, and so there's this transactional reality of a contract that unfortunately we view that as the foundation of marriage sometimes. 00:25:43.759 --> 00:25:48.480 And even if we don't say we do, often we do in practice. 00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:55.359 We may not say that this is how we function, but how we treat our spouses, well, if they're nice to me, I'll be nice to them. 00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:57.519 If they do things for me, I'll do things for them. 00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:03.759 And so there's this mindset of a contractual agreement in marriage. 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:08.400 A covenant is a very different type of pledge. 00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:14.000 Uh, what is in view in a human covenant is not a contractual agreement. 00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:15.839 If you do this, I'll do that. 00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:21.839 Uh one theologian, uh, John Murray, writes this about a human covenant. 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:25.920 He says, listen very closely, and I'll repeat some of the key words here. 00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:42.799 It is the giving of oneself over in the commitment of troth, of fidelity, of faithfulness, of loyalty that is emphasized, and the specified conditions of those upon which the engagement or commitment is contingent are not mentioned. 00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:52.960 It is the promise of unreserved fidelity and whole-souled commitment that appears to constitute the essence of the covenant. 00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:54.559 There is promise. 00:26:54.880 --> 00:27:11.119 There may be the sealing of that promise by oath, and there is the bond resulting upon these elements, and it is a bonded relationship of unreserved commitment in respect of the particular thing involved or the relationship constituted. 00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:13.599 Now I'll translate that into English. 00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:33.599 What he's saying here is that a covenant is uh you are giving yourself in unreserved loyalty and faithfulness wholeheartedly to the other person, irrespective of what the other person gives back to you. 00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:47.680 And so there is an understanding that you are promising yourself and giving yourself in this unreserved uh commitment of fidelity and faithfulness to the other person. 00:27:48.079 --> 00:28:13.519 And so that when you come into a covenant relationship with your spouse, you are saying that I am with 100% of my being committing myself to you and to no one else, and I pledge myself to you, and regardless of what you do and how you respond, I will continue to give myself to you because I am making this vow before God and these people who are here. 00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:20.079 And so the mindset then isn't kind of this uh quid pro quo that you do this, I do that. 00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:26.400 It is I am going to give myself to you regardless of how you respond, and that is the commitment I'm making before God. 00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:49.759 And when you stand up on your wedding day, you're making a vow before God and these witnesses that you pledge your love, loyalty, fidelity, your energy, your effort, regardless of how the other person responds, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do me part. 00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:56.799 And you are making a pledge before God that this is your heart commitment. 00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:07.279 If we think of marriage as a 50-50 contract, as long as she gives 50 and I give 50, we're okay. 00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:11.759 But as soon as somebody stops giving their part, the marriage is in trouble. 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:42.880 But if we see that it is a hundred percent commitment, irrespective of what the other person does, that you are committed to the relationship, that you are going to respond, as God has called you to respond in this relationship, uh, not to manipulate, not to try to get from your spouse something, but because this is the pledge you made before God, then we begin to understand the weight of what marriage is and the call of commitment that one is making when they stand before God and those witnesses to pledge their life and loyalty. 00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:54.240 Now, somebody may be sitting here thinking to themselves, well, I don't see the word covenant in Genesis, and I don't see the word covenant in Matthew or in Mark or in Luke, so why do you say it's a covenant? 00:29:54.400 --> 00:30:08.799 Well, in the last book of the Old Testament, Malachi, or for those of you who are Italian, Malachi, in Malachi chapter 2, there's an indictment that God gives. 00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:13.680 We're going to go back to this book in coming weeks. 00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:24.400 Um, but in Malachi chapter 2, there's an indictment that the Lord gives to the uh to Judah, to the Israelites of that time. 00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:43.599 In verses 14 and 15, Malachi chapter 2, and and in verse 13, they're talking, you know, they're they're wondering, well, we we we pray, we we do all of these sacrifices, we, you know, we're emotionally engaged in our worship, but it seems like God's favor isn't on us, what's going on? 00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:51.279 And in verse 14 of Malachi chapter 2, it's the prophet says this, but you say, uh, why does he not? 00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:54.319 Why does he not accept our sacrifices of worship? 00:30:54.559 --> 00:31:00.480 And verse 14, Malachi chapter 2, because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth. 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:03.599 When you made that vow, you made it between you and your wife. 00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:14.880 But God bore witness to the vow that you made, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 00:31:17.279 --> 00:31:21.599 And so the very thing that they had pledged to do, they had done the very opposite of. 00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:33.119 They had made a covenant commitment to this woman in this relationship of marriage to be uh their companion, and instead of being faithful, they had been faithless. 00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:41.759 And so marriage is universally established for life. 00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:53.839 It is a covenant commitment, uh, and it is what God has called each one who has entered into this relationship. 00:31:54.079 --> 00:32:04.319 And even if you're married and you didn't recognize that this is what your marriage is, um it still is your responsibility before God. 00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:13.519 And you you can't say, well, uh, I didn't understand this when I got married, and so I can't be held uh accountable or responsible for that. 00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:23.119 Um of us have a growing awareness of what our call is before God in a multitude of areas of our lives. 00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:45.839 And so whether you recognize the weight of the commitment when you made it or not, here and now God is calling you to recognize and understand the full implications and import of that vow that you made to your spouse the day that you pledged your life, your sacred honor to him or her. 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:52.480 And so this is God's call to marriage. 00:32:52.640 --> 00:33:12.799 Uh there is a whole second point that I want to make, but time eludes us, and so I will pick up here uh next week and continue to talk about the display of marriage, because my the other point that I want to make is an understanding that marriage is a covenant commitment between a man and a woman before God. 00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:33.680 But that what I want us to see as well is what that looks like in the display of marriage and for us to understand that that our marriage, the institution of marriage, and our marriage is to be a display of God's relationship with his people, particularly of Christ's relationship to the church. 00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:39.039 And look at Ephesians chapter 5, verses 22 through the end of the chapter. 00:33:39.119 --> 00:34:05.039 And so we'll pick up there next week and pick up on the idea of a covenant and how this covenant relationship bears itself out in the practical realities, and even to see how this bears into a living illustration of the gospel and our relationship with Christ, Christ's relationship with the church. 00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:06.799 And so I'll close us here. 00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:15.199 Let me close this in a word of prayer, and uh we will pick up next week and continue our discussion looking at these weighty issues. 00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:18.320 Um, so join with me as I lead us in prayer. 00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:39.119 Father, as we gather here this morning and we think about the weight of commitment of this institution of marriage that you have given to the human race for our well-being, for our good. 00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:49.039 And Lord, we see that this isn't just for Adam and Eve, but it is for uh all generations, and it is for us. 00:34:49.519 --> 00:34:52.400 And Father, I pray for each one of us here. 00:34:53.199 --> 00:35:05.360 Uh for those who have who have never been married and maybe don't plan on being married, and yet to understand this, to know how to pray for their friends and their loved ones who are married. 00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:20.320 For those who are about to get married and considering the reality of what they are about to undertake, that they don't undertake this lightly or unadvisedly, but soberly and in the fear of you. 00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:36.719 And for those of us who are in marriage, Lord, that we might recognize anew that you have called us and what we have pledged to do is to give ourselves wholeheartedly and unreservedly to our spouse. 00:35:37.440 --> 00:35:42.639 And may we do that to the best of our ability by your grace. 00:35:43.280 --> 00:36:11.360 And Father, I do pray for those who are here who are um who struggle with the pain of a failed marriage, that your grace and your mercy, your love, your forgiveness, and your full restoration to all those who come to you might be theirs in full measure, and that they know that they are in good standing with you and that your love is on them as your children. 00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:13.360 And so be with us now, Lord. 00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:14.480 Be glorified in our lives. 00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:15.679 We pray in Christ's name. 00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:16.480 Amen.