Transitioning into the Tao of Horsemanship and how healing the work is for both horses and humans

Transitioning into the Tao of Horsemanship and how healing the work is for both horses and humans

Specifically we will be talking about:

How this work has helped guest speaker, Emily, heal and deal with PTSD/ how it translates to the rest of her life

Going from traditional horsemanship to Tao Horsemanship. Why Tao spoke to Emily and clicked

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Transcript

Sabrina Arbogast (10s):
Welcome to Everything Horses & More! Podcast. Educating, liberating and inspiring horse owners around the world. Join our LIVE radio show and our REVOLUTION in horse care handling training, and achieve the life relationship and ride of your dreams. Every week, we bring you education, expert advice and inspiration about horses, training and living authentically We spend time diving in deep talking about complex areas in horsemanship, such as horse psychology, biological behavior, And nurture the real secrets to being safe with horses and how to achieve the Beste relationship and ride of your dreams with your horse. And that's not all.

Sabrina Arbogast (50s):
We also get real and honest about our personal lives and experiences sharing what's worked and what hasn't about everything related to Horses and More Weekly podcasts are streamed LIVE every Wednesday at a 12 PM Eastern standard time on the Tao of Horsemanship Facebook page Podcasts are hosted by Caroline Beste and co hosted by Sabrina Arbogast. Guests are invited periodically Hope you can join us and our REVOLUTION in horse care handling, training and living.

Caroline Beste (1m 20s):
Hi, everybody. Welcome back to a nightmare. Thank you. Emily our guest for today for hanging in there. We, we still have some stuff to figure out you guys we're not there yet. And I don't know why I appear very fuzzy right now, but here we are. Welcome back to 2021 happy new year and Everything Horses and More Podcast And I am Caroline Beste your host. And I'm sitting here, unfortunately, you can't see who I'm sitting next to, which is my lovely cohost Sabrina Arbogast. Say hello.

Caroline Beste (2m 0s):
And unfortunately, due to updates between zoom and Facebook, we can not share our zoom scheduled with Emily. So you'd be able to see her lovely face too ummm. We can't share that and go live, but we are going to figure it out. Today all right. So that next week we will be able to do this. Finally. All right. But here we are. So Emily say hello.

Emily (2m 32s):
Hi

Caroline Beste (2m 34s):
I've got Emily on my cell phone, as you guys can see, and there is a delay. And so this year we are starting out with the new format where we will be inviting guests each week. And if we don't have a guest, we've got plenty of stuff to talk about it, but hopefully we'll have a guest each week and they will be interviewing me and I'll be interviewing them. So it's going to be pretty, pretty cool and pretty interactive. Again, this podcast is about Everything Horses and More. So we talk about everything. It's not just about horses. So today we have a special guest, miss beautiful miss Emily Feeley of Florida, say Hello again, Emily

Sabrina Arbogast (3m 18s):
Hi everybody.

Caroline Beste (3m 20s):
Emily is a MasteryMembership Riding Foundation Program student, and she and her husband, and they have two beautiful horses, and we will be talking more about what their life is like. So today's topic specifically, we're going to be talking about transitioning into the Tao of Horsemanship and how healing the work is helps to heal both horses and humans. So you all know that my company name is Tao of Horsemanship used to be Rider Horsemanship that has always been the Tao. The Tao has always been the main company and the subsidiary was Rider. And then when I got divorced, I kept the name because it was a very catchy and it, and I'd already established it.

Caroline Beste (4m 7s):
And now that I'm remarried and the Tao is the essence obviously of, of who I am and what I believe in and how I practice my life, including my horsemanship that's the method we, or the Tao of Horsemanship as of last year. So Emily is here to talk specifically about how working with horses in this way. This Tao Tao is to way of being And thinking and interacting, how it's changed her personally, and you'll speak for your husband.

Caroline Beste (4m 47s):
And it's changed because Jon, this is in here and it's changed your Horsemanship completely. Am I right? My dear?

Emily (4m 55s):
No, absolutely. It's complete 180. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (4m 59s):
So, so what made you want to be here? You are our first guest of the year. What made you want to do this interview slash podcast with Sabrina and me.

Emily (5m 11s):
So I found the following you, I think we're going over three years now, which is kind of hard for about a year and throughout the last three years, it has impact the work that I'd done with you in the Horses is just impact in my life in so many ways from helping me deal with my PTSD to just everyday life and, you know, my courses in the Horsemanship and wanting you to be able to share my story. And I because I don't think a lot of people realize the depth of this approach and how it can affect you as well as being able to help other people who maybe experience similar trauma.

Emily (5m 53s):
To me realized, you know, there are options, there are ways of getting through it and that you can continue to work a full and productive life. You know, it doesn't have to define who you are. So just wanting to kind of have to share that and continue, you know, challenge myself as well, but it kind of putting myself out there and continuing to share. Yeah,

Caroline Beste (6m 13s):
I love it. Thank you. And specifically your going to talk about two areas, how this work has helped you heal and deal with your PTSD in how it translates to the rest of your life. And, and, you know, this works for everyone, you know, it's the Tao of Horsemanship, it's pretty deep. And then a second area is going from traditional Horsemanship to the Tao method. And why the Tao, you know, spoke to you and, and how it clicked. Mmm. And you did an excellent job providing, you know, a lot of areas, bullet points. Emily so just go ahead and, you know, talk, go ahead and talk about, you know, how this work has helped you heal and deal with PTSD.

Emily (7m 3s):
Okay. So I started working with Caroline Beste in 20, and I think it was 2017. Yeah. And

Caroline Beste (7m 12s):
Yeah, the old ranch. Yeah.

Emily (7m 15s):
Yep. Yep. And at that point I was introduced to the method by my friend, Renee, and I decided to do a, my brain's blinking. What is it

Caroline Beste (7m 30s):
Called? Assessment

Emily (7m 30s):
An assessment with you? Because it had just started on a journey of one realizing I have PTSD from a trauma experience in the military. I was raped while I was in the military. I unfortunately, and I am so sorry. It, yeah,

Caroline Beste (7m 49s):
This is a lot. It happens a lot. Doesn't it? Emily, I mean, you hear about it in the news and you know, if you only hear about it in the news, there's a lot more of a going on behind closed doors.

Emily (8m 0s):
Yes. Unfortunately, it, it happens. It happens quite a bit. I am very proud of my service, you know, I wouldn't change, but I signed up for the monetary, you know, obviously if I could change what happened to me, I was, but I realize at that point in my life, but it took a lot from me then who I was as the person. And I just started a dominant journey of dealing with it. So I was in this very vulnerable place. I have been getting back into Horses over the last couple of years, but did not find something that put for me, you know, I realize about like, you know, it's still a few things, right. Horses and he was capable, but nothing quite a bit.

Emily (8m 41s):
So when I did my assessment with you, I really don't. I was so nervous. Like, I was just like, Oh gosh, this is one of the, you know, a whole new level, but it blew away. And I remember coming there and loved the, I worked with a lovey And. She was just so cool. Like, just read to me so well. And she was just, I remember you being like, Oh my gosh, he never asked, like, those shoes, you know, normally she is just kind of all over the place a little bit. And it was because she was reading me and he was,

Caroline Beste (9m 20s):
Is it really tuned in to you? Yeah. It's let me, I'm, you know, I'm going to have, you guys should know me by now, especially in my videos, I'm going to frequently interrupt you not to be rude, but because you have to be a golden nugget that I think we can expand on, you know, that's the, one of the amazing things about Horses and, and this is only real. This will only show up in our, in our Horses when we are authentic and vulnerable. And so you came to this assessment and you know, I also want to point out that this was this assessment for you. You were ready, you were ready to be vulnerable. You, you had no idea how Raul it might get intimate, revealing.

Caroline Beste (10m 5s):
You had no idea. That's my job to kind of test the water, you being in the water and test my you know, not to test my student, but put my, put my feelers out there. You know, like you put your toe in the water to see how cold it is. So my job is to create that space for you. And, and, you know, even, even though I have specific things that everyone just like the Horses, we'll try Om and that's how I assess you. I also have to really have my feel and timing out there. And when you, if you have not come in as authentic in ready and vulnerable, lovey would have mirrored, you totally differently. Lovey would have reacted to you like a pinball machine and bounced off of all of your white noise in it's not just you it's anybody.

Caroline Beste (10m 55s):
And, you know, instead lovey that's why it was so surprised. Lovey was so relaxed for the lack of a better word and not afraid and completely was there to hold that space for you as well. But I, I want to give the credit to you. I mean, that was because you came in, you know, completely open and I want everyone else to know that that's that I think Emily, if you agree with me that you came in that open and vulnerable and trusting of me because you didn't know me, but you knew me through Renee and I had done the same kind of work with Renee and Renee had made some tremendous life changes in her, her time with me in a year of coaching and working with me.

Caroline Beste (11m 43s):
So that helps cause this is, you know, this is vulnerable work. You guys it's, this is where it goes in really deep on a one-on-one with me, if you so choose to take that leap of faith, trust the process, me And in your ready to do the damn work. And you were, you had all of that lined up, so lovies like, yep. I'm there to support you. And you got the most bang out of it being out of your box, so to speak because you already did so much of the work to prepare yourself. And she cried people, you know, as I always say, if, if I don't make you cry during this, this level of work, I don't do my job. My end crying is one of the most significant and powerful ways to release toxins trauma and to start the process on healing and recovery.

Caroline Beste (12m 37s):
Yeah. And you, and it was beautiful. So I'm sorry, go on, please. If you remember where you left off.

Emily (12m 44s):
No, I mean, really, I really did come into it wanting more. I wanted, I was, I've been on the Horse journey for a couple of years. I've realized, okay, I can ride, I can, you know, everything I learned with a kid I remembered and I did, you know, got my confidence back as far as dealing with Horses, but there was something missing. And so when I came in their, I really wanted to get a, for lack of a better term, the biggest thing for my buck. And I was like, if I'm doing the same time going to be there and I'm going to speak my truth. And I kind of taken that approach through everything with my trauma and my PTSD, since I started that journey, I really decided that I'm going to do this.

Emily (13m 31s):
I'm not just going to, you know, be on the surface about it because I'm never going to get through it. And so I just remember coming in there and you know, you were so good with me and we stopped. I think we spent most of our time working on the briefing and

Caroline Beste (13m 50s):
Well you were having a panic attacks. Isn't that part of the panic attacks are yeah. That's like the most prevalent thing with trauma and PTSD. And it's part of ourselves, our, our built-in and inate self-preservation mode, just like the horse you guys, but a horse's panic attack is what mostly reacting in going into their flight zone. Yeah. So,

Emily (14m 11s):
Yup. And mind comes in anxiety and freezing. It's so challenging and I, I'll never forget. I just standing there and I wasn't confident, like that was part of it as, as my confidence was

Caroline Beste (14m 26s):
Your self esteem, your self esteem, your sense of self, you know, look at who you are today. You own it. You, you, you own it. You, you, you didn't own, you. This was taken from you when you were raped. Yeah. It's taken for that.

Emily (14m 43s):
It's a long, it took us a lot from me and I, and I remember you explaining to me the backup in how to get the different and kinda cleaning that space in that I had to be clear and starting to see that work with me, but then standing there doing the breathing with you. And then all of a sudden, you just have this look of shock on your face. And it was like, okay, what's happening? What do you do? And you go to look down and I looked down and loving his leg is around me. And we were just like, turn around and hug her. And I just like turned her on and hugged her and just cried. And then you told me, you were like, love is not for sale because

Caroline Beste (15m 25s):
You want it a thoroughbred. I'm like, ah, I love you to dunk dunk. Don't get attached. Yeah.

Emily (15m 30s):
Right. And I just cried. And I realize in that moment, this is what the, what was missing. Is it my Horsemanship and just in my lab. And then we move on in that assessment, two, you standing there with lovey, you know, a super patch. Then you were like, okay, I need you to pull her away from me. I just looked at you and you go, okay, I don't do it. Don't make any songs, ground yourself. Do what I taught you. And I did. And she came to me. I just, it just like blew me wide open that if I could harness that energy and you know, you know, my shock Rose and my intention,

Caroline Beste (16m 10s):
How did it make you feel? How did it make you feel though? Talk about that. I mean, cause that's, that's the important thing. That's how we rebuild ourselves. If you can articulate it, how did you feel? What was going on inside of you?

Emily (16m 27s):
I guess I would say like a little kid on Christmas morning or a little bit like you can imagine it is like a five or six.

Caroline Beste (16m 37s):
I can, I want to cry right now. I know what that is. I mean, you guys, I feel this every day with my horses like the videos, I just posted with us getting back into training on Monday, you know? And it's like, it's like a organized chaos. I love the, the, the comments from everyone. And it, it, it was perfect though. It wasn't that it was, it was whatever it was supposed to be. We were together. We're getting back into it. It'll, it'll take its shape its form. But the, the feeling of like you just said, excitement like with Christmas and excitement and inside my heart in those moments is so full and heavy in a good, heavy, not a sad, heavy and full that it just, I could explode.

Caroline Beste (17m 28s):
Like, I feel like I'm going to be that package. It opened up and it just explodes all over the place with happiness, with joy, you know, and those are, the eye is important for us to pay attention to how we feel during these moments, because that's how we get ourselves out of the bad moments. Right? If we don't pay attention, we have a tendency as human beings to focus on the negative. We just do. And that's a whole nother podcast topic about the brain and psychology, but we, we, we focused on the negative. I think so much of it has to do with our ego to, and in our culture and our behaviors, how were raised in, we're not taught on how to focus on the positive in just because you are focused on how beautiful that moment felt.

Caroline Beste (18m 14s):
It doesn't mean that you ignore the reality of life, right? It doesn't mean that, you know, you ignore that sometimes are sad and difficult and challenging, but you need to be able to go back to that good feeling that it has to become a reservoir that's part of creating abundance. It has to become a reservoir for us to pull back into in use. Does that make sense? A a, a, a point of strength? Does that make sense?

Emily (18m 47s):
Absolutely. I, I think I also found myself in that moment. I reconnected to a part of me that was so lost. And then, you know, I felt so confident, so grounded and just present, like so much of PTSD for people is you are not here. You're not in the moment. And your, your mind is either worried about what happens in the past for your mind. What's coming. That, that's why, like, I just really easily my husband, Oh my gosh. In a loving way now, not, not a snarky way to go walk up to me. And I'm like, just freaked out because my, my mind's going on.

Emily (19m 29s):
I had an experience that I really experienced that with you and Lovey` you that day. And it, it just opened a door that I knew if I trusted the process and just gave myself to it. So that eventually not only would I get there in my Horsemanship, but that as a person, but I don't think I understood how much the Horsemanship part really would affect the rest of my life from that moment. But I just knew that this was what I was working for him. And I cried the whole way home. Again, my poor husband, he is so supportive and thankfully I got in her mom's to go for stand by down. And he is absolutely a part of the story with more and more, but it just, you know, I cried the whole way home and I looked at him in the face and I said, I will have my own horse one day.

Emily (20m 15s):
And you have to kind of like, Oh my God, what is happening to my

Caroline Beste (20m 20s):
Right, exactly. The, all the husbands know what it's like to be married to their wives that are absolutely in love with their horses. Oh God, they've got to share us. It's hard for her.

Emily (20m 30s):
Yeah. Yeah. It was. And then from there, you know, I didn't have a horse after a time and thankfully, ya know, Renee, you know, we are in our childhood best friends. Yeah. So I got the opportunity to work with the Brill. And that was just, I mean, I love Abril, you know, as much as she was, we don't, we joke that she was my step-horse. And she really was my gall. And she taught me so much in the first time I went out to work with her, were mainstream to teach me how to back her up and lunge her. And I just cried. I just cried and cried and cried.

Emily (21m 10s):
Cause I didn't know how to use my energy. So I have gotten a little too up and it didn't do anything like I'm going to hit her or be there. And you know, it was, you know, it was too much. And when he was like, Hey, you don't need to use that much. I just balled. And I realized, that's my trauma.

Caroline Beste (21m 30s):
That's an important point. So you electrocuted the horse, that's what I call it. We don't mean to do it on purpose, but your self preservation mode from your trauma, for all of us that suffer from trauma, you know, we're all we're. We are so self protected and we use so much energy, especially our fire chakra, our third shocker energy to protect ourselves that we don't realize how defensive we are and you know, no fault. It's no fault. And I'm going to apologize right now. 'cause it looks like we lost connectivities. So just hang in there guys. It's no fault though, of, of ours.

Caroline Beste (22m 10s):
It's just what we have to do. Just like the horse to protect ourselves. And, and it's beautiful. That's a beautiful moment for all of us win. And I've been there myself. Oh my God. Yeah. When you electrocute your horse in your, in your life and you care so much that that all of a sudden, it's such a reflection of who you are inside, that you've never seen before. And it brings you to, it brought me to my knees, you know, I would just be sobbing, but I was ready to see it like you were, you know, and that's why you cried. Yeah. It wasn't because you did anything wrong every day and there's no need to beat ourselves up about it. But in that moment you were so present, you are ready to hear and ready to see what the horse had to tell you about yourself and it in it.

Caroline Beste (22m 56s):
And it was like, Oh my God. And then at the same time, Emily, isn't, it, it, it it's been from me. So I don't wanna assume it was for you, but in that moment of, Oh my God, this is what I am like in that moment. For me, it has also been, Oh my God, I can, I can let it go. I don't have to be that person anymore.

Emily (23m 17s):
No, absolutely. It, it was such a, but I just didn't like, my skin is just all tangled. Right. Because I just remember being in the moment and you know, Renee corrected me in a loving way. Like she was a, I love her. I just love her. And we love you to go back to me in that moment. And she told me, because I was just sobbing. She has to sit down to sit down because I was trying to ground myself. And she has been there too. Yeah. Yeah. And we didn't, we sat in this deal and it took us a little bit, but eventually it broke. I just came over it to me on my car, on her own and put her head on my lap.

Emily (23m 58s):
I just cried and realized, like you said, this is who I don't like hearing I am and not, you know, being more emotional when it's not necessary because I'm letting other things control me and wanting to be better. And, and that's where I realize that in order to be the kind of a person I needed to be a, for my force, I had to work on it. Like I had to become a better leader. I had to find a way to become confident. And I had to be able to deal with everything that came up when I was working on being present and grounded and confidence.

Emily (24m 39s):
Because otherwise, even to this day with Don and especially our mayor or Maura, you know, if I'm all over the place emotionally, they just to be like, will be over here and let us know when you figure it out. I'm not able to be clear with them, you know? And

Caroline Beste (24m 54s):
We asked you this, let me ask you this, you thank you. Number one, thank you for being so honest and sharing and your using a lot of terminology that I hear all the time from people, even if there are just students of my YouTube channel, they haven't really dived into, you know, learning with me on a one-on-one and, and so getting into the terminology or the language of, we wanna feel confident and, you know, we want to let go of this trauma. We wanna not feel anxious all the time. I mean, yeah, none of us want to feel that way. And we all want to feel confident and, and brave and courageous, and I'm stopping you because I want to get past the language and help you share the experience, the meaning for you in a way that is more relatable to everyone.

Caroline Beste (25m 55s):
So follow me for a minute. Cause we all can relate to the words that everybody wants to know the, how well, how do you get there? And if I'm correct, it's a, it's a unique journey for everyone. It's their own personal journey on how you get to feeling confident, how you get to releasing the trauma, how you get to not feeling anxious, but, and the work that you're doing with me through the mastery membership program, through the spirituality course, which has included in that, through that whole Del method is the process. We all say the journey, but it's, it's kind of, again, coming back to trusting the process.

Caroline Beste (26m 40s):
You know, you started it with the assessment then when you were ready and then you it with Renee and sharing her Horse. And then when you were ready to get your own horse, you jumped in with, you know, the mastery membership with a step-by-step guide, but it still trusting the process of, of believing, you know, already experiencing, you know, you already tested the waters, dipped your toes in, you already got a taste of, of, of what it feels like to feel empowered, not disempowered, feel confident to have the anxiety go away, to feel blissful in the moment with a horse and the level of connection that just fills your heart up.

Caroline Beste (27m 22s):
Like, like all of those beautiful moments in our life. And now, you know, you've, you've jumped in and dedicated that to yourself, to mastery programs. So, wow. Your light years away, you know what I mean from where you were, when you first started? So yeah. As your telling your story, you know, I am here to just kinda, I just wanna make sure. And of course were always open for questions. You guys Sabrina's monitoring the comments always. So if anybody has any questions for Emily and me or Emily or me, you know, just, Hey, you know, raise your hand and put a comment in there.

Caroline Beste (28m 5s):
So I guess Emily, If you could explain or describe Like What it felt like, what it felt like to become all of those things that you had lost

Emily (28m 23s):
Loaded question. So, I mean,

Caroline Beste (28m 24s):
Would you use to replace when you feel down a negative? What, what, what do you doing? Where's your abundance, where's your reservoir too, you know?

Emily (28m 34s):
Yeah. So, I mean, it feels for lack of a better word, this amazing, like I trust, I really had to trust the process and be willing to put myself out there with my course, you know, and, and be honest with what I saw my Horse giving me throughout, you know, the, the journey and it really just filled part of me that had been lost, that was to stop and all of the past trauma. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (29m 13s):
The patterns and the self preservation, the habits that we form, we form like the Horse behaviors and habits to protect ourselves. And you, this is one of the things that I've, that I believe we all can say yes to, especially all of us that love horses, but really want to have trauma in want to heal. Sometimes we, we don't trust people obviously, right? Because they're the ones that create the trauma, unless it's an accident. And so the horse becomes that sacred space. And that's what a Donna became for you is that sacred space where you can trust the process and allow him to mirror you and reveal to you your inner self.

Emily (29m 58s):
Absolutely. He, I mean, both him and it will grow. They became, you know, about reservoirs for me that,

Caroline Beste (30m 5s):
Well, no, no, no. Wait a minute. That reservoir got to come from within you though. See, I want you to be able to connect the dots for every one. How did what what's happened during your journey for you to, to create the reservoir within you? Is there a sea were all missing things in life and with trauma, it can be 10 times tougher, big pieces of us can be missing, buried, forgotten, and we are detached from that, those feelings, those experiences, even the good experiences because we're so, you know, heavy with a sadness of the trauma.

Caroline Beste (30m 50s):
So it I'm okay with using it for the lack of a better word, using the Horse to help us get back on our feet. It's it's like a, is like a 12 step or a program, you know, it's okay to use well, MasteryMembership. I think Lydia, I'm going to say Lydia is listening. Lydia told me about that. It's very similar to 12 step to MasteryMembership. Cause it has a step by step. So it's okay to use, use those outside resources, but they should always, those types of resources should be there to help you build back. Does that make sense? So I went to the reservoir. Yeah. And the abundance to come eventually from within you.

Emily (31m 32s):
And it, it really makes, I think the beauty of the process is that it happened very quickly,

Caroline Beste (31m 40s):
Authentically, organically. That's the word I was waiting for. It that's my big word.

Emily (31m 46s):
Right. And it didn't, it wasn't like I was conscious of it. And I showed up with a recruiter. We are going to work on this. Today a Dawn Yay bro. It was just so I feel that through the process, I had to slow down I, and doing that, I had to, I grounded, I learned, I could find this inner peace in mind faults that I didn't even know,

Caroline Beste (32m 9s):
But he can take yeah. That nobody can take, nobody can take that from you.

Emily (32m 16s):
Okay. And then it really mean this process lead to so much for me in my life, but I, I, I learned to slow down. I think that's the biggest part of it. And I know you talked about it all the time in all of your videos is how we all go to facts and learning that piece. Because when I did that, I was able to observe, not just obviously my course in that, helping them learn by myself and realize, okay, this is where I am right now. And I can't, you know, then expect my course to connect to me emotionally. I'm all over the place for my mind is, you know, thinking of things, five steps from hell.

Emily (32m 57s):
And I think that that was one of the coolest experiences. We actually seeing that where, you know, you do the backup and then you pause and you ask him to go out. And then in the beginning, you know, I'm thinking, okay, back up and now we're going to be, you know, we're going to talk left. And then we are going to do that and watching the Horse to do it before I was ready, because that's where my mind was just yeah. And it just taught me in my everyday life. The same thing. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (33m 26s):
It was an aha moment. Yeah. It was not a moment whole. Yeah. I love that. I love that. Yep.

Emily (33m 33s):
So it was pretty incredible. And, you know, to translate, I used the breathing message that you taught me in the grounding when I was interviewing for my current job, I literally sat at my desk, but I grounded myself and I'd put my headphones on or, and had some nice music that just, it just literally grounded. And I was so pregnant in that moment. That was like a, I joke to my husband, but I feel like an X and I'm like, I can just shoot out, you know? And so I really let myself take the process and own it, but if I'm gonna do this, I'm going to do it.

Emily (34m 14s):
And I am going to be true to it because I funded them to do Horses for its going to be Caroline is going to be a battle of Horsemanship and now there's no other options for me,

Caroline Beste (34m 26s):
Leap of faith. It's a leap of faith and it's not only healing for you. It's your Horse came with a ton of, you know, trauma to, to, to put it bluntly. You know, your typical to me Horses are abused me all the time and just the way they're handled and revered. And you're a guy just went through the same bullshit, the same typical training, horrible lunging afraid of the whip. You know, the only connection he knew was through force, which was with the harsh bit in his mouth, which, you know, you had a, you know, a little mishap with him in the beginning because you were going to quickly, you weren't slowing down and you really wanted to ride and you know, that's okay.

Caroline Beste (35m 11s):
It does for all of us, that's for sure. And you know, in, and thank God you, you know, you weren't hurt any worse than you were. And then in that also happens for, for all of us and for me to, it happened in the beginning and, and that's just to me, meant to be, you know, we, we kind of need those experiences to kind of a slap us in the face and say, okay, you gotta, you gotta stop the old habit. You know, you're still in the old habit. And it's like, as soon as you start the master membership, it's, it's, it's fast, forward, backwards.

Emily (35m 55s):
Right.

Caroline Beste (35m 55s):
Catoline back slowed down. Yeah. I mean, I've experienced all of that. Holy cow. So you're

Emily (36m 3s):
Not worth it. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (36m 4s):
Good. Yeah. To clean up yourself. Yeah. And for your horse to reclaim themselves, to see the light, to see the light in your horses eyes, to see them light up in and be expressive instead of fearful or a dead or dull is really beautiful.

Emily (36m 24s):
It's so amazing. And I, I am so grateful for a while because she prepared me for it on that when I met Holm, you know, at first it was kinda like, okay, he's a bass thoroughbred, gray, you know, but I, you know, I see, okay, let's check it out. And thankfully, you know, his owner at the time, she was really good to me. And it really was a great experience, a whole, the whole buying process. And I believe it was meant to be like that whole, everything that I've been working on, working on, lined up for that moment. And, you know, she wrote him and I saw that and I wrote him and it was like, okay.

Emily (37m 4s):
And then the moment where I realized that he was meant to be my Horse. So as we were closing him off, then he started grooming me and Carrie and his owner at, at the time sheet, like her face was like, Oh my God. And him and I was, I think, again, it kind of frozen what was going on. And she goes, he's never grieved to purchase a, Horse never mind the person. And then your honor's go, it looks over at Renee. And he goes, yeah, we're getting a horse. She has more colorful language. You know, we just like, okay, there was no turning back. You know, I brought him home and you know, I did this, you know, went out and bought nothing, did all of that.

Emily (37m 45s):
And he brought him home and he was, I mean, his mind was everywhere. He was just all over the place. And that he came home on a Sunday, the following weekend, again, being impatient, wanting to ride, you know, wanted my own force ever since I was like six years old. Oh yeah. The dream, you know, and he got on him, his mind's everywhere. And I actually just find the video, not of me falling off, but like right before that, and I watch it now and I realize, well now of course I fell off. My balance was horrible. His mind was all over the place. I was asking too much of him. I wanted him to have a bigger walk to,

Caroline Beste (38m 29s):
Are you? And he wasn't used to that. And you weren't used to that. And you know, we, we teach that, but it's a slow process. Yeah. It's just so processed. You guys, it's all about safety, Safety, safety, safety, but yeah. Yeah.

Emily (38m 42s):
But I did, you know, I did all that and I felt, you know, he started trotting and I panicked in my brain and leaned forward so that he can be heard and off I went and I laid there and he was like, OK, I'm alive. Not that great, but he didn't take off. Did it run all the way he stood there and he kind of put his head down with like, what are you doing? And by the time I get to it, you know, it took me little bit to stand up because I was winded and what not in my husband. And, you know, he's had been around horses and he was like, I was thinking, my God, he's never going to walk me. Right. And then after, you know, he came over and got me up and that point he helped me and he started crying and Adani.

Emily (39m 29s):
I came over and put his head right in between us all, everything went away, like all of the doubt, like, you know what, I want to just get myself into all of that doubt just completely went away. And I was like, okay, we're doing that because I was still doing my pre purchase, like a lease assessment kind of thing. So for a couple of months, and I thought in my getting like, should I return him? Like, what do I do? And I said, no. And I was like, I am committed to him. I love him. And when he did that with his head, it was just like signed, sealed, delivered him. And I have been on this journey together ever since.

Emily (40m 10s):
And he's challenged me in so many ways that had just as a, a good way of her as a person.

Caroline Beste (40m 17s):
Oh yes. He has an app. And the both of your Horses have beautifully, the complexity of our own personality behaviors, you know, really shows up. And when you have more than one horse that you are working with in this method, I often say I tried, I T's, you know, that I have multiple personalities because I have so many Horses and each one that is literally yeah. Is, is literally There that they are their own horse, their own person, their own horse now with the level of a rebuilding and foundation.

Caroline Beste (40m 59s):
But they, they easily show a side of me. And, and I say, that is not because I have split personality in real life, but it's yeah. One might wonder though sometimes. Right. But it's because I continue to challenge myself all the time to learn, to grow. And in my older years and age, and I like to say, I have more wisdom with that. Not everybody does as they get older, but you know, I have chosen this path of challenging myself and learning and then sharing what I know. And it, it makes you a more complex, complicated, know what I mean? It It's just

Emily (41m 39s):
Absolutely beautiful complication though.

Caroline Beste (41m 40s):
I don't think it a bad, you know,

Emily (41m 43s):
I think that's what people are missing is they think of as humans, we should it be the simple things should be stressful, but a lot of winners.

Caroline Beste (41m 51s):
Yes. A lot of layers how boring. I know. Yeah.

Emily (41m 57s):
It really, for me, that's the part of this journey. And the process that I've realized is there's a lot to me and not okay. Then it's okay to be where I'm at, when I'm there. Obviously I want to have the emotional intelligence and bandwidth, but it's okay. It's really fair to be a human it's. Okay. Not to be perfect. I know you told me that all the time when we do lessons and we work together.

Caroline Beste (42m 18s):
So let's talk about that. Yeah. No, emotional, I think you meant emotional agility instead of emotional intelligence. So let's in it for everyone. I'm a senior comments on the internet. We'll pause this. So just don't panic. And we we'll have the recording for everyone to listen to too on our YouTube channel. But yeah, the emotional agility it's it comes back too. So what if shit's hitting the fan? Why do we have to react all the time? Why don't we have T you know, being able to respond appropriately wen so to speak shit hits the fan is what I call it in the mastery membership or exemplary leadership.

Caroline Beste (42m 59s):
And so it also, you should guys should know this, you and your husband because of being in the military. So exemplary leadership is that leader in the moment of crisis, that particular person is able to see clearly and have clarity. And it's is a perfect example, would be the, the barn's burning. Who's the person that's going to be able to assess the situation and do what's needed to get everyone out of the barn, animals and people, you know, to the best of their ability, you know, versus freezing or panicking. So my point about emotional agility though, is we, we all aspire to get to that exemplary level.

Caroline Beste (43m 39s):
And I want to tell you guys to not try and rush and force this emotional agility that when you, you know, I try, I try through the program. I try through, you know, these Podcasts, Everything the, the videos to, to just tell you when you, especially with panic attacks and anxiety, when you feel it, when it's coming on and I've been there myself, you just pause. The big word I have is pause. Just, just sit with it. Everybody thinks they need to react or do something about it. But how about if we just sit with the uncomfortable they're may not be an answer, or there may not be an answer.

Caroline Beste (44m 19s):
You may not know what to do. You may not know how to fix it, but sometimes we're so busy defending ourselves from that feeling because it's so overwhelming it over, faces us it in, and believe me, I've had this guys. I was a chronic panic. I used to get panic attacks. Ah, you guys know this is in the program. When I was in high school to the point where I was passing out, I was blacking out. It doesn't really get much worse than that. Okay. And also, while I was blacking out, I was profusely sweating. I was drenched in sweat. So think how embarrassing that was like my armpits all the way down to my belt. And then I would break out in a rash.

Caroline Beste (45m 2s):
I was already a blusher to begin with in schools. So then my cheeks and down my neck, I would have hives. And then my boyfriend was picking me up off the floor. Cause I don't even remember how I got there. So basically I was in the throws of a nervous breakdown, which is exactly what I ended up having, which was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And that's a whole another story, but it's like, I come away with, with this wisdom, you know how you know, I give you the Dallas reversed breathwork I give you a specific techniques or That is one very specific technique to help you learn how to slow down and pause and yeah.

Caroline Beste (45m 46s):
And it's meditative. And so it also gets you out of your head, which is part of the anxiety. You know, that trip's the anxiety and get you back into your body and to what you feel. So your focus, switches and so much of this, like it is for the Horse is, has to deal with a nervous system. Self-regulating self-soothing has to deal with releasing endorphin, which overrides the adrenaline and the adrenaline for us. And Horses is all a better self preservation. The endorphin is all about the parasympathetic state, you know, where we feel good. And so you organically, all of you are learning this when you especially take the spirituality course in the mastery membership, because it's guiding you, unbeknownst to you, if you do the work and So, and you know, it doesn't mean you just do it once or twice a day, a week.

Caroline Beste (46m 40s):
Right. So, and you don't Emily, you, you you've done the work you've made,

Emily (46m 46s):
But it takes a commitment, it's it? It requires dedication. Just, it requires the commitment in, in trust. So like you just have to trust the process because like when the Dom yeah, after my aspirin, we had to go all the way doc to the beginning, you know, and I had to slow down and it was a humbling experience, but I kind of, you know, one that I am grateful for becase it proved to me it was one of those moments where I realized, okay, I have to trust the process that you have to slow you down. And now you have a Horse who follows me around it at Liberty as a barn, relaxed.

Emily (47m 29s):
I know some the opposite issue sometimes like to wake up and, you know, he responsive. It's like, okay, Hey, come on. So we were before I had a horse that he was mine was all over the place.

Caroline Beste (47m 42s):
He was in the sympathetic nervous system has a survival mode. And most people, most people deal with Horses like that all the time. That's like 98% of our engagement with Horses on a daily basis. And you are now experiencing the opposite of what the program teaches is getting into the self-soothing with which releases endorphin that's the parasympathetic. And, and that's also what you're teaching yourself to do. Yup.

Emily (48m 13s):
Yes. I am able to regulate my nervous system a little bit better now. I mean, it's not perfect and I definitely have moments, but this is what the process and the work, because it translates the same thing of what I'm asking them to do. I need to do myself. And so now I'm going to do this with my inviting. He was just all over the place. I'm getting dressed some hot and all of these things. And I just brought myself back down and like be here, be present. And I kept moving forward, getting ready from the Podcasts. And then here I am. And I know, you know, I didn't let it, you know, I didn't let my nervous system takeover, you know?

Emily (48m 54s):
And so I've learn that skill. And, you know, sometimes it just a matter of me, but I will come so far in Not and, and trusting the process from being a mastery membership in, through, you know, the breath work. And I do the breath work all the time like that. For me, it was just one of the biggest things and just getting myself back into my body when I started to go everywhere else in my mind and my nervous system. And I couldn't, and I see, I have seen her in, in her Dawn here and you're like, there's just been in the beginning, especially just days where we stand there, staring at each other. And you know what I was asking him to growing and he's asking me to ground and I had to realize, okay, I've got to get myself in check before I can even begin to ask him to do the work because I can't, you know, I can't turn it up like that to him as well.

Caroline Beste (49m 46s):
Well, and that's yeah. And that's a good question. And everybody, it looks like our LIVE video ended, so I'm starting another one. But remember this is a podcast, so it has not ended. Yeah. That's a question for everybody because you know, everyone wants to know why I only have a limited, limited time to see my, my horse and, you know, it's the only thing I can tell people is you'll get what you put into it. And that? Yes. Yeah. That's a, that's a, that's a plus and a minus it's like if we've only got a couple of days that a couple of days can make a tremendous difference, if you know what to do to make the, And just going LIVE again, Emily sorry.

Caroline Beste (50m 38s):
And you know, so I want to give all you, because we're getting the comments, you know, hope that yeah, you can, you can make a huge difference in the quality of time that you spend with your Horse, but you have to know how to connect, you know, just going in there. Yeah. And giving them treats or grooming them and saying Hi, isn't isn't enough. Especially when our horses are so often stuck in their survival mode, you know, it's like, it's just like you were talking about being stuck in your trauma, your, your detached, you know, and the horses are the same. There's a level where they're detached. They cannot engage. And, and maybe once in a, in a blue moon, you'll, you'll have that magic moment, but we're talking about, you know, practicing enough that you can, you can feel those moments more often, if not all the time.

Caroline Beste (51m 31s):
And that's the beauty of having the, the programs, you know, or, or the spirituality courses, because there's so much you can do on your own, you know, and then you can take it to your Horse. Your Horse has a wonderful mirror, but there's so much work you can do on yourself that, you know, you don't have to be with your horse all the time to make those improvements.

Emily (51m 54s):
I think that's the part of the process. That's the price of a little bit is because, you know, coming from like the traditional style of it, but, you know, you have to be there or you have to be forceful hands on it. Not that I'm not going to go up, but yeah, forceful, you know, in your face kind of a pro now. And I want it, you know, if I asked you to do both, I mean that right, this second, even if the horse isn't ready to do it, or they don't understand it because it's on my own agenda. And I, I realize as you know, is that further along with my experiences and stuff, that the moment of just being with him and being grounded and present made the biggest difference by it and being there.

Emily (52m 37s):
And there was a period of time that I went out the morning to the bar and, and I cleaned us all prepped to speed. And I would go in the pasture and just be in, for me, it was grounding and helped me prepare for my day. But I just developed that connection with him. And I truly believe that's really where we made so much ground, because I wasn't asking him to perform or do anything other than where he was and to try.

Caroline Beste (53m 7s):
It's a very good point. Yeah. And so often, if you don't know exactly what to do to change the behavior in our Horses you guys, or the trauma We, we trigger them, you know, and we don't realize we're triggering them. So what Emily's talking about is she's learned how to create the space as I call our, hold the space to just be with her Horse in, in that, that is one of the most transformational pieces, the foundation of the work, you know, and that's what the spirituality course teaches is how do you create that energetic space, where the horse feels safe with you and comfortable with you.

Caroline Beste (53m 48s):
And, and when a horse like us, we feel safe and comfortable. What are the opposite? We're no longer defensive. And so they open up and were not asking anything of them. So we are not triggering them, or we're not reminding them of have some bad experiences being handled or a written or trained you. No, we're just being with them. And it's, it's the place to start. And its always what we want to nurture and maintain throughout all of our engagement. You know? And that's the finesse of what you're learning is now you're at, at a, at a higher level through the program because you have dedicated it, right?

Caroline Beste (54m 31s):
That your finding, your training, your rebuilding, your retraining with Om, especially with a donee, I know a Maura is going to take, you know, a little more time for other reasons, but you're finding that, wow man, we're just really, it's clicking, you know, everything that we continue to learn in the program as we advance, you know, through the program, it's clicking now in it.

Emily (54m 57s):
Oh yeah, absolutely. It comes together. It's coming together more and more. He now like we did beginning of December, you came in, we did the little mini clinics, we worked on the partner walk and that just, you know, that's kind of what we're we're at now. And we work with we're working on that and it humbled me, like it brought me back a little bit where it was challenging you to be more clear with my energy and my intention, which I thought, you know, okay, great. I've got the, but here's a new level and it's challenging, not perfection in me again, reminding me slow down like a good point, not going to happen right now.

Emily (55m 42s):
But if I keep doing a show in trust the process and kind of get comfortable with the mechanisms of it, which is what you know, we had talked about. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (55m 53s):
We need to see the posts that I posted with in the private Facebook group with the mastery membership, with Om, I'm having a blank right now, the Canadian a with a Brown and white paint Horse and she wanted to talk about balancing. The chakra is I'm just having a blank. I, I, it was just before our podcast and it's something, if I have time, this Friday is a webinar for the group. I'm going to talk about balancing the chakras and the partner walk is, that's why we don't get into the walk till later in the mastery program. But it is, again, it is part of it is the partner walk is pretty much the last phase before you should be getting permission from your horse to get on.

Caroline Beste (56m 41s):
And so it's, it, it pulls everything you've been learning thus far, including your Liberty free lunging in your online lunging and your energy work. And he pulls all of that together now. And so what, what you're talking about, I want you, I want to offer this to you to add to what you're talking about with a partner walk away is it's really about how do you hold this space? Just like lunging butt. It's a little it's titer, you know, you're right there with them, especially in his third chakra where you ride him. So it's how do you hold that space for him in, because your side by side, how do you hold in synchronized that energy in hold that space in, in union and oneness, as you are asking him to move around you and you know, the, the easier it gets for him to feel good about that and comfortable with that experience because you're in his writing member of your, in his writing area, then, then that's, what's going to basically replace his new experience or his new normal with writing And.

Caroline Beste (57m 47s):
And then you are going to keep testing it at the mounting block. And if it's not, if it's not good enough where he is not only wrapping around you, but completely relaxed in not kicking his hind quarters out anymore, then you go back to all of those previous exercises. Then you go back to then, okay, I need to go back to my lunging and I need to go back to my, my embodiment of the walk and the trot and work on my transitions. Because every time you add speed or movement to a horse, every time a horse adds speed of movement, they naturally produce adrenaline. So here's their level of emotional agility. If he doesn't feel that he can self regulate himself, when he picks up the trot and slows down in the, try it or picks up the canner and comes back to the trot, he can't feel like he can, self-regulate in S in, be in control.

Caroline Beste (58m 37s):
You know, that's what emotional agility is all about. Control emotionally and control mentally and control physically. Then that's where he's going to lose, lose control. Right? That's when our Horse has started bucking it in and racing around and they, they, they just, they can't do it. It, or he's going to realize, okay, I'm hanging in there. I'm really trying. And during this, and now that you want me to be intimate with you and come and pick you up, Oh, no, I can't. You know, my fire shocker is still on fire, you know, instead of being able to immediately ground that, that energy. And so you've gotta play with all of that. And so now you've got all of the exercises leading up to the partner walk and including the partner walk, that will help you work on his emotional that's when It comes down to and reap also replacing those negative behaviors and learned experiences about writing, you know, you're replacing that.

Caroline Beste (59m 33s):
And then you, of course, as you know, the program, you know, one lesson offers 10 lessons. So you've got the relationship in there. Yeah. You've got the heart in there. You've got all the things that are important to Horses you're including, it's not about the mechanics. You've got the mechanics, you've got the technique, which is the exercise, but that's just a container. That's just a structure to help you develop all of these areas at the same time. That's what makes the program fricking amazing. And so organic as you peel, peel back. Yeah. I mean, this is my life's work. You know, this isn't something I just, you know, pull that out of my ass, you know, seriously, or, or from someone else and just duplicated it.

Caroline Beste (1h 0m 19s):
You know, this is, this shit is real. This shit is real. And you were doing it, you're doing it. You either, you keep posting those videos because you're, you are an inspiration as Anne. And where did you feel the same if you had somebody doing the same level of work or even above where you are, you know, that's, that's, we all need a little competition to wake us up a little bit, come on. People. There's nothing wrong with a little competition and a lot.

Emily (1h 0m 54s):
Yeah, yeah. The, the group. So I'm not sure the membership group and how everybody is. So it were all at different points and different backgrounds, but I, one of the challenges for me is, you know, putting myself out there in a lot of social anxiety in those things, but I do it again. This is another level is I'm going to give this and I'm going to be the, be the leader for my horse would be the person that I know I am. That is who I am at my core in my heart. I have to put myself out there and do me, you know, stepping outside of that in sharing more and, and recognizing too, the little moments, you know, being out in the pasture and having a more in a diner and just be there in grooming on them and having the inquiry mess.

Emily (1h 1m 41s):
And I really appreciate that. So the group is so encouraging and supportive that it, it, it just, it was just incredible. Like it just proud that I'm so grateful. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (1h 1m 52s):
Do you need it? Because you know, we're still a very small percentage and there's a book, you know, its only because people just don't really know about the work. I know I'm out on YouTube, but its, and that's a great platform to get recognized. But I just mean it's just hard when you and you guys all know this because you've all told me this and you've talked about it in the, in the webinars as you were like the only one at your barn, you know, and nobody else is supporting you and, and Its it's a lonely road. It's a lonely road, especially when you, you know, you're, this method focuses on their relationship so much and that that's the most important thing.

Caroline Beste (1h 2m 34s):
And it also teaches you the mechanics of how to develop all the things that you see every one else doing, but doing it in a way that does not compromise the Horse and it does not eat. It does not compromise source in any way. So Om yeah, it's a relationship is, is the, the core of everything. And when you're talking about going out there and you, you did post this over the holiday, you know, you and, and you're in June is being reminded of how important it is to just be, and you were grooming with your horses and you know, they're responding, it just gets richer. It's enriching for everyone and it just gets richer and deeper and better.

Caroline Beste (1h 3m 15s):
And then that intimacy, just that intimacy of, of, in that bonding and grooming and being, and truly loving that moment that makes sure they're learning and your training even EAs, it makes it easier. Doesn't it? I mean, there's so much easier as they trust you, they trust you with a big difference. They trust you. There's, that's a whole level of trust right there that people are just MIS. Yeah,

Emily (1h 3m 42s):
It really is. It just, it, it, it just we've talked about this. Oh. You know, off and on. And it comes up in different things, but it, it blows my mind how much people missed, how important that trusted relationship with the Horses. Because I can imagine like running and I was talking about like, what, how we grow up in Horsemanship in what we did as kids. And I'm like drinking now. Oh my gosh. Like we're also going to get ourselves because we just we're all over the place. The horses, weren't always happy about it and I'm not doing that to my Horse now. Like not having it. I want to be a part of it.

Emily (1h 4m 23s):
And yeah, he has a respect for me and he knows like when I'm in business and I need us to focus, he knows that. But he also knows that I love them. And that

Caroline Beste (1h 4m 35s):
Your listening? Yeah. That you listen. Yes,

Emily (1h 4m 37s):
No. I stopped riding them for a while because he wouldn't stay and still at a mounting box to save my life, you know? And I said, okay, I have not. I know there is trauma. It, you know, there's layers to this, but I also, my husband's children and one day two, he knows how nervous are you are? And I said, it was like, okay, like knock it off. You know, he was right. He goes, Hi nervous. Or are you? And I have a puck that I have had to do that. And I, and we had to go back a little bit. But by doing that, you know, I got out on the other day in the pasture and he stood there and want me to get on him and we just have to go around for a minute.

Emily (1h 5m 19s):
It was fantastic. I know you took care of me.

Caroline Beste (1h 5m 24s):
He was beautiful. Beautiful was

Emily (1h 5m 25s):
It just makes my heart so happy in it. It just, I am so grateful that you've been willing to share your experience is in the method and putting everything into other for us because I couldn't, I would have Horses otherwise. And I couldn't imagine doing the traditional approaches or even, you know, the natural approach to what they call it. The natural Horsemanship approaches with my guys. And when I was looking, none of that connected to me.

Caroline Beste (1h 5m 51s):
Oh yeah. There's there's still too much. Two things boil down. There's way too much mechanics with natural Horsemanship and then there's also too much pressure and release. There's way too much force Emily. Hold on for one minute. Sabrina was telling me we've got a question. Yes. Hold on. Love. Lets see if maybe you could answer it. Emily Johnson. Hi Lynn

Sabrina Arbogast (1h 6m 16s):
I enjoy being around horses that I'm working on. Getting rid of my fear around them. I've been fortunate not to get hurt after some scary experiences spending once a week at a passive Fino farm in Sterling, Canada, riding different pasos. I'd love to be connected with one Horse who knows I we'll be there as a friend. I'm wondering if it's possible to have a connection with a horse you see once, maybe two times a week. And when does a fear of getting hurt? Leave my mind.

Caroline Beste (1h 6m 43s):
Okay. While Lynn I'm going to, I think I saw your question. Hold on for one second. Let me get down there because it was on the, on the first. Oh yeah. The first LIVE. Yeah. It's tough. You know, as I was saying Emily I don't know if you could hear Sabrina the, if you could hear the question. Okay. So what are your thoughts then? And I'll share mine of course. But what are your thoughts? Yeah, I get mine right here on Lynn's question about spending once a week at the Paso Fino farm and riding different Paso's she'd Le she'd love to be connected with one Horse who knows that will be their friend am wondering if, as possible to have a connection with that horse only when you see them twice a week.

Emily (1h 7m 43s):
I mean, I, I think the simple answer is yes. Like you can develop a relationship with the horse and even if there are only able to be their, you know, once or twice a week, but it's the quality of the times, you know? So if you are showing up and your intent, you know, you have your plan that, Hey, we're going to ride, we're going to do this with some of the, and your kind of forced me a lot on the Horse. You're not, you're not gonna get that connection with them because you're not listening to them. You're not slowing down.

Caroline Beste (1h 8m 14s):
Right, exactly. So it's how I think the quality of what you're saying, it's how we spend the time with them. And, and, and Lynn, as I've mentioned, and I've worked with thousands of Horses in people, 98% of our horses are, are traumatized. So if you are riding even one horse specifically twice a week at this Paso farm and they're, they've got some trauma, you could be really triggering that every time. And what that means when you trigger it is that they can't see you for, they can't, they are not present. And so there in a past memory, and then you are dealing with a horse that can't learn and can't be open. This has just like people, a horse that's defensive and you know, and that defensiveness shows up usually in one or all three of our self to our self preservation modes.

Caroline Beste (1h 9m 4s):
So he could be freezing and shutting down, checking out, he could be fighting you. He could be trying to run away, you know, spooky overreactive flighty. So Emily yes, it is. Emily is right on the Mark. Om just diving in, articulating it a little bit more that you are in these particular situations. You guys', you need help because I can go out there and love on a rescue. Horse all I won, but he's only going to be able to see and feel and hear me based upon his ability to have an openness, Just like a human who Had been traumatized. And, and you know, Emily story is a perfect example. Let's just put a horse in, in that story.

Caroline Beste (1h 9m 45s):
And it's not, Emily, it's the Horse telling his story. So Emily was closed off in defensive until she came to the assessment with me. And then that gave her an opportunity to trust again, but she needed the tools, which my work provides in order to keep opening up and peeling away all the layers of trauma and triggers. And so, yeah, so it's like, you, you, you still have to learn how to create that quality or how to make the breakthrough with that particular Horse so that when you are There twice a week, that hoarse is there with you.

Caroline Beste (1h 10m 29s):
And if you continue to ride them and Paso fino, I'm sorry, I'm I'm not going to put down where you ride, but in my experience, you know, all most Paso fino farms, are brutal. And even if there are just breeding farms in my experience, because I've been there and I've, you know, they breed them and then they hire the, the particular trainers that come in and train them a particular way. And it's brutal. It's brutal. And, and so it's just a level of awareness. And I don't know you Lynne, and I don't know your level of experience or awareness about these situations, but a lot, You know, cause, cause it's like, if we only see things a way, then, then that's our level of consciousness.

Caroline Beste (1h 11m 18s):
That's our level of awareness, meaning that's what we're used to. And then that experience becomes comfortable in normal to us, but it doesn't make it right,

Sabrina Arbogast (1h 11m 28s):
Rebecca. Is that something beautiful? What Rebecca say, hold on. I said it's power of intention as well as time spent. Remember how blue totally changed when you Caroline decided he would be part of your family? Nothing but intention changed from one day to day.

Caroline Beste (1h 11m 42s):
Yeah. That's a good point, Rebecca. Thank you. Rebecca was reminding me of the power of intention. Yes, but Rebecca, I love you and thank you. And that's a great start. But as soon as I started to handle blue and you know, he, he became mine. He belonged to me. You are right. That's that's the first, first place. So Horses all one to belong. So as soon as that helped, but he was a basket case, nonetheless, cause he had so much damage. So you all know that you all know the story of Blu and you've seen video of blue. So yeah, the power of intention is beautiful. And in choosing the Horse and letting the horse know that you are choosing them to connect with is thank you, Rebecca.

Caroline Beste (1h 12m 26s):
Absolutely. The first place to begin. But again, as soon as you start triggering, just like us triggering us were going to get defensive. So that's, you know, it's not easy. Sorry. I want to be like that. REVOLUTION out there that you know who the fuck is telling us that Horsemanship or training Horses is easy. It's a bunch of bullshit. It's yeah.

Emily (1h 12m 54s):
I and I work in your opinion because this is, I think it's the revelation I came to me recently cause I've had, thankfully I came back to the original board and I was at recently and there are, I love them and they welcomed us back and you know, I just told them I had to go into a little Odyssey. I figured things out, love me.

Caroline Beste (1h 13m 19s):
They do. I love it.

Emily (1h 13m 20s):
And then you are like people who have been open too, this approach on my friend Emily There has signed up and so getting a little bit out of a community, but I could do that kind of Educating or sharing it with people. I realize people don't teach, people have to learn or training. And that's one of the things that you do so well for all of them as your teaching us, how to learn, how to read our Horses and also how to handle situations. You're not just saying, yeah, I'm going to do X, Y, and B in your heart to be a perfect trial. Horse you are helping us learn how to actually be leaders for our courses and helped him and help them learn and become better.

Emily (1h 14m 4s):
So I don't know. I mean, I think you would agree with that, but like when yeah,

Caroline Beste (1h 14m 9s):
I do it at your particular Horse it's like, that's another thing that I'm up against wall with, With my competition out there. I don't even call him my competition, but there's plenty of horse trainers out there selling online courses. And I love when they are doing their news, there are sponsored ads I do on Facebook to gain awareness of their teaching or training style on there. Like no one program or no one method. And its it's like, OK, we all went to school. Right? And don't we all at the age of five, when we go into kindergarten, have to prove it pretty much learned the same things, universally you guys universally. And if, and when we go into first grade, we all kind of learned the same.

Caroline Beste (1h 14m 54s):
Thing's all around the world, universally, but it's how you are taught individually. That's going to make or break your learning. And so my program works for everyone and every Horse because it teaches you, like you just said, Emily how to get to know your Horse And then how to teach your horse a well-rounded excellent education So that your horse can do X, Y, and Z. Can you get it? My phone charger about dead. Hold on, on my phone about ready to die, which I was a worried about.

Caroline Beste (1h 15m 34s):
We're going to get ready to, to wrap this up too, but my phone's low, but yes, go ahead hun. Oh, it was just talking about well well-rounded education, you know?

Emily (1h 15m 50s):
Oh yeah. And I feel like for me, that was the piece that too, you know, back in the Horses and real, you know, real life. Okay. I know how to ride like yada yada, yada is how do we, how do I handle situations? How do I teach my horse? And nobody was there to show me that I have the confidence that I could help him. And I tend to be Tom and the Murrah for a 20, 20. She has come a long, long way. But she is a challenge in a whole new way.

Emily (1h 16m 33s):
Yeah. But I know we can do it through this process, but I, because I've learned and he taught me,

Caroline Beste (1h 16m 39s):
She has a different Horse yeah, she is a different Horse, but she is going to need to learn the same things. And the key thing is most people want to teach you how to force your whore, your horse. They want to teach you how to force your horse, how to comply, you know, with bigger bits or mechanics. And it's, that's not the way it needs to be. Oh my gosh. My video has ended again. All right. So I'm going to go back home and this is just a nightmare. The Podcast is still Fantastic

Emily (1h 17m 14s):
We use, we are fine. We've got our pod

Caroline Beste (1h 17m 17s):
Caste, but I am going to, we're going to just get back on and wrap this baby up. So yeah. You know, you're learning through having the relationship. Let me pause to like, get back on real quick and I'll share this with everybody and I'll have to call it or a third LIVE Oh my gosh. What a mess Technology. You know, they want things to be so easy and accessible and, but everything has to work together and that's, that's the problem, you know, like zoom has to work with Facebook and then Facebook has to work with your laptop.

Caroline Beste (1h 18m 0s):
You know what system do you have? And yeah. I'm just having a really hard time just getting that right? Yeah. Yeah. Where we go? I get to go through this all over again. Let me just write, hold up one second. Hang on to put my phone now and you can hear me and I can hear you. Let me do it now, Right? Wow. This is a mess. What a mess. Third LIVE okay.

Emily (1h 18m 37s):
What's your REVOLUTION America. Yeah, they really don't want us on here. There

Caroline Beste (1h 18m 43s):
Are doing everything they can and

Emily (1h 18m 47s):
Holy cow,

Caroline Beste (1h 18m 47s):
Easy. I don't wanna be paranoid now.

Emily (1h 18m 50s):
So it can be up to eight hours long. Yeah,

Caroline Beste (1h 18m 54s):
No, there's something wrong here. The, yeah, we we've never had this problem before. I know that. So, wow. And I've already put the title and I've done everything and I don't know why this bad boy retry, unable to find the camera now or a microphone. Oh my gosh. I quit. Yeah. Wow. That's pretty scary. That is really scary. Did you hear that? Emily it? Yeah. Facebook all of a sudden can find our camera or a microphone that tell me about it.

Caroline Beste (1h 19m 35s):
You tell me about it. We are still on our podcast. I'm just a refreshing. Okay, so let's try this. Oh, I can go LIVE now. Okay. Okay. All right. We're going to wrap it up or it's going to quit on us again.

Emily (1h 19m 57s):
Hi everybody. This is our third year

Caroline Beste (1h 19m 58s):
Time and we're going to wrap it up. So it's not us. All of a sudden we couldn't even find her a microphone or a camera, so I don't know what's going on, but we are going to try and go through and update everything for the next week, for sure. But Emily, you know, just to wrap this up, one of the, you know, the things about working with horses and I hate saying training, you know, they're, there has to be new language, you know, I, I choose the word developing or working and you were, you were saying, you know, now you've got a second Horse to bring through the program. And we were talking about having a universal school, you know, just like we all are universally.

Caroline Beste (1h 20m 39s):
We all go through and learn basically the same things at the same ages. You guys, as to why you have what you have. And if your school teachers, you understand, and in the curriculum for a kindergartener or a first grader, third grader, sixth grader, and then you learn everything that's appropriate to develop, you know, as a well-rounded individual. So that by the time he graduated from high school, you have enough skills, right. And knowledge and education. Yeah. That you can make up, you know, your on your own, you can make up your mind if you want to go back to school or an a, or a trade school or whatever. Well, that's, that was my whole thesis or a thought behind developing this mastery program is, you know, in, especially following classical horsemanship and classical dressage, where there was a school of thought and all of the Horses went through the same, you know, program.

Caroline Beste (1h 21m 32s):
The important thing is, is how you teach each Horse. They are in an individual. And so, you know, Emily you, we're talking about before we got it, quit on us that, you know

Emily (1h 21m 48s):
Yeah.

Caroline Beste (1h 21m 49s):
Maura has a different yeah. Yes. Different experiences.

Emily (1h 21m 55s):
Add-on Yay and then she's challenging me in new ways. So she's Adani is honest, but she's super honest. And she just stood there and stared at me and I'd be like, I'm not coming in anywhere in here, I've had to step away. So I'm trying to, I'm so grateful. Cause he's on the board, you know, a, a a hundred percent now. And you know, he's watched from a distance for many years and slowly starts whipping his toe in and getting, you know, more and more involved on his own for me and dealing with, take on trauma and his own things through that process. And it was just beautiful to see, but she went right to him. She wouldn't come near me with this. I just felt cold.

Emily (1h 22m 36s):
And I had to laugh about it so that it was like, okay, I hear it might be like, Oh, you know, he knows what.

Caroline Beste (1h 22m 44s):
Yeah, yeah. But don't blame yourself all the time. You guys remember she comes with what she comes with her own personality. She comes with her own learned experiences and preferences. And so we go into it with, I want to learn you. I want to learn what works for you, what clicks for you, how to connect with you. And so often when we have an ego, we go in the opposite way. We go in where you're going to do what I want you to do when I want you to do it in how I want you to do it. And so you, no, you're good. You just, you just have to remind yourself that she's, it's not just because you always come in, you're always wrong, Emily. It's not always that way.

Caroline Beste (1h 23m 26s):
So, you know, so,

Emily (1h 23m 27s):
So she's shown me to like so much, like a whole other side of me. And she actually made me realize that with my trauma, there are still aspects of that because when we first got her, I was so timid with her and her was coddling her more than I ever did a dominator in the beginning. And it had a piss me Wednesday that it was a a hundred percent of my time that I was putting my stuff on her. Yes. Our eyes, you know, being a female and wanting to be safe and protected and all that like, Oh wow. He talks about it. And if you were like, change the story, do you want her to be weakened, you know, unconfident and scared? Or do you want it to be a confidant, you know, for us to feel good.

Emily (1h 24m 9s):
And part of the same, how I want to get out of a person, it was like, okay. Yes. Like I want that I've had to work through that. A good point is so amazing. And she has come so far, like in a little bit of time, we've had people ask us, my husband tried to ride her. He got bucked off. Yep. That's not something that we recommended y'all is one of those things were I had to do or what Renee did was me with my husband that yes, you do. You I'll be over here. And when your ready to listen and you know, and you learn, and he said the same thing with his army, I took a step back, but okay, now I'm going to slow you down.

Emily (1h 24m 55s):
And she has come so far because we have listened to her and we will let her view of who she owes. And we created a good relationship with that. She's Papi. And you know, I am excited to see where it goes with her. You were smart too.

Caroline Beste (1h 25m 11s):
You, because you know, you, you we've had our coaching calls and you, you you've definitely listened to some of the advice that I've given, where focus on the easiest tourist, which is <inaudible> your first, Horse get, get yourself where you really know what you feel. You know what you're doing right now. And then you, then you're ready to bring the second Horse along right

Emily (1h 25m 32s):
Now,

Caroline Beste (1h 25m 32s):
Instead of trying to tackle both horses at the same time, which is what you guys were trying to do, you know, are trying to bring her along. And she's a four year old that had been started horribly. And so she's, you know, she has got a lot of trauma there to, to why are you at my level list? And we're going to wrap this up before the video quits on this again,

Emily (1h 25m 56s):
Sorry.

Caroline Beste (1h 25m 57s):
I'm Sabrina. And I will pull our hair out and cry and have some wine and try to figure out why all these things aren't working, but the Podcast is fine. So we will have the Podcast recorded on YouTube. Plus it will be on Buzzsprout and hooked up to all the other ways that you can download it. And Emily thank you. Is there anything, what do you want to say is your sign it off? My dear,

Emily (1h 26m 22s):
I think when I need to trust the one Caroline in doubt, Horsemanship, it's the only option. So if you want a real relationship with your hormones and with yourselves and with yourself, and really that whole package, everything that you dream about you, when you watch the movies in those magical moments, this was the way to do it. And to trust the process, you know, are Horses or there, you know, are to be our companions in our friends and part of his journey with us. They're not just there to serve us. And if you can get past sort of a surface level and getting into the more of a deeper connection, it, it will just blow your mind.

Emily (1h 27m 2s):
I am so grateful for you. Caroline and I appreciate you letting me come on in. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (1h 27m 7s):
Oh, I appreciate you. I appreciate you sharing your story now. It's the other way around my dear. Thank you for, for offering this because this is, you know, helping other people and it's all of this sharing and being honest and vulnerable and intimate is to help other people. We all need so much help sometimes. And it's just, we feel so alone sometimes, you know,

Emily (1h 27m 32s):
Grateful. And I love you guys love you. I love this community. So yeah.

Caroline Beste (1h 27m 40s):
Yeah. Welcome to the new year. Welcome with a bang. Everybody lets go, lets get it done. And we got to, I got you guys are so all right, my dear. Thank you. And we're going to sign off. I'm going to hang up with you and if anybody has any questions, please email me. Caroline at Tao of Horsemanship dot com. Okay. And thank you everyone. Happy new year. And we'll see you this time. Next Wednesday, where we will be doing our guest for next Wednesday is Rebecca. And we also have a three-day immersion here, but she'll be here, but Rebecca will be here.

Caroline Beste (1h 28m 24s):
So Oh my God. It's so much easier. Now you still got to figure this out just for me, but yeah, so next week and we'll be having another Guests but Emily thank you love and I'm sure you know, you'll be back on because this is just the beginning, you guys and, and we may have many repeats of Guests. Okay. So this doesn't mean you only get a one time you a chance. All right. So thank you. Happy new year. I love you. Okay, bye. Thank you. All right. Okay guys. Sign it off me and Sabrina and like I said, There is so much to talk about and some of you, you know, don't wanna be in the spotlight, so that's okay.

Caroline Beste (1h 29m 10s):
And then we would just keep on, keep on going, keep on talking and I'm going to sign off. May you always be one with your Horse bye. See you guys this time next week. Okay. Thank you.

6 (1h 29m 23s):
<inaudible>.