Episode #247 - The Work of Happiness

This week's episode is one of my favorites recorded in 2022.

Transcript

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Open any webpage that contains what we call news and you will find something common to us all, the quest for happiness.  From celebrities desperately trying to keep their fame and fortune, to politicians seeking for power, to sports enthusiasts drinking their pleasure away, to the average person just trying to keep it together and find themselves and even includes the criminal who in his illegal act is twistedly seeking for something better.  They each have one thing in common.  They seek for the illusive state of emotional bliss we in society call happiness. Happiness based on the world’s definition is somewhat of a strange concept in the sense of feelings and emotion.  I mean if you consider everything this world defines as happiness, then happiness is not one feeling but many and it is not one pathway but a world of infinite pathways.  No wonder we struggle to find and keep it.  We can’t even define exactly what it is.  But do we really know what it is?  Would we know it when we feel it?  Or would we just define another similar feeling as what we are looking to achieve, as an imposter definition? What are we truly seeking when we go looking for that state of emotional balance and euphoria?  Is it even euphoria?  If I asked to you to define your happiness, what would you say?  Would you describe a feeling of euphoria?  Would you describe it in terms of finishing a painting or difficult project?  Would you describe it as a relationship or several relationships?  Would you say that you must be your authentic self? Would it be a composite of everything I just asked?  Would you say that the emotion of happiness is our normal state of being? What would you do to find and maintain a long-term happiness or joy?  

Happiness is a feeling that we create within ourselves.  And while that may be obvious, it is terribly important.  Others cannot implant it into our brain.  It can be temporarily created by chemistry through medications, food, relationships, sex and other sources of body chemistry, but temporary means that we have to continually go back to the happy well.  Happiness through chemistry is and always will be temporary.  What do I mean by temporary?  I mean that once the endorphins, the adrenaline, the serotonin, fade from the blood stream, then so does our happiness.  Our body is not built to have these internal sources of chemical happiness in abundance on a permanent basis.  If you attempt to do this, you will find only misery.  They were never intended to be our eternal happiness or even long-term solution. They each serve an important short-term role.  When we seek out the short-term temporary highs we find through our mortal bodies, we more often than not end up on the wrong side of addiction.  Seeking greater amounts of chemistry to reach similar levels of euphoria.  Eventually short-term happiness turns into long-term misery, a misery where it is nearly impossible to extract oneself without great efforts and consistent resistance for a life-time.  Once addicted, the brain has forms a deep connected pattern and desire for the short-term, and life becomes seeking happiness through chemistry.  Without a doubt, short-term happiness never leads to a truer long-term happiness.  This is where we most often fail with happiness.  Not just using short-term chemistry to fill a long term need, but worse defining happiness by that same natural chemistry.  This doesn’t mean that it cannot be a portion of our happiness.  Our bodies chemistry has purpose and design, but chemistry cannot substitute for true lasting a real happiness found in the spiritual realm.  But it is tempting because it is easy and it is quick.  

So if body chemistry is not the real answer, at least not the complete answer, where do we find a complete happiness? What steps are required?  Where does one start the process? A simple quote I read recently has caused me to reconsider the answer in a way I never really have.  What if happiness in mortality isn’t something that just naturally flows into our life?  What if true happiness isn’t our normal state as mortals living in a fallen world?  What if happiness requires us to do the work, and not just casual work but daily, persistent and consistent effort?  What if happiness is far more dynamic than passive?

I assumed in the past, evidently incorrectly, that when we don’t have trials, problems, troubles, mental illness, and struggles that happiness just flows into our lives.  I had always thought that the end of my illness would be the beginning of happiness?  Meaning of course, that if we removed all our trials and troubles then happiness would be the result.  What if that isn’t true?  What if happiness is more of a pursuit? What if happiness requires more work than simply overcoming our trials and mortal pains and what if the more work we put into it, the greater the reward?  What if happiness can coexist with mental illness?  What if happiness is a state of being brought about by our daily personal drive?  What if it requires consistent effort?  What if happiness is effort driven based on a set of consistent criteria rather than based on a lack of struggle, trial, pain or suffering?  What if happiness can not only coexist with pain and suffering but thrive within those boundaries?  What if there is a set of rules, guidelines and patterns that allow it to flow regularly into our hearts and minds, in spite of weakness, illness, or suffering?

Ok Bro. Socha if those question are true, where is your evidence?  What are you calling happiness?  What is your definition?  Where are we taught that happiness must be obtained daily, and not only obtained but must be sought out and acted upon?  And then if that is so what are the real steps to true happiness?  How is it obtained?  

I think when you consider happiness work, it changes your perspective as to the definition of happiness.  The first logical inference to the idea of the work of happiness is that we don’t necessarily start out in a state of bliss.  Meaning we don’t start our quest from the state of total bliss and then like trying to keep bliss water in a leaky bucket we run around patching holes.  True we might always have a little water in the bottom of the bucket and perhaps the grace equation in the atonement of Jesus Christ allows for more water than we deserve.  But let’s say happiness is the water in the bucket.  And we start with what was left over from yesterday, but the leaks keep the level fairly low if we do nothing to help our situation.  I suppose that we all start from different levels each day but the level is dynamic, meaning it is in constant motion based on our bucket that holds it.  In order for us to obtain the level of happiness we desire, we need to add the happiness water to the bucket.  We need to act to turn the water on and place the bucket where it can be filled with water.  Both processes are important to us.

One of the more frequently used and well known scriptures from the Book of Mormon and one I have quoted regularly states the following.  “Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy.”  There are two interesting statements in that short sentence, “Adam fell” and “men might”.  The word “might” provides an interesting insight into the concept of joy.  Joy is conditional.  Meaning that conditions exist where joy will occur and conditions exists where it will not occur, but also that we may not start out in a condition of joy.  If we turn on the happiness or joy water and we move the bucket to the source then the conditions will be met that our bucket will start to fill.  If we turn on the water but fail to move the bucket.  Or attempt to move the bucket but fail to turn on the water we will be left with only the small amount we possess and our temporary natural chemistry. So we must meet the conditions of joy.  Second when we think about the idea of the fall of Adam, we think about the idea of falling from celestial conditions of life to telestial conditions.  If we consider celestial life the gold standard of happiness, then telestial life, the one in which we find ourselves is the furthest one can get from happiness, without going fully into the darkened abyss of outer darkness.  What is interesting about the fall is that Adam moved from a state of bliss to a state where happiness would be much more difficult to find and to maintain.  So we have been placed in a state where happiness does not exist naturally and would need to be sought out and worked for.  So even the most basic of scriptures gives us some good evidence that happiness is very much like my leaky bucket.  It is a daily event.  It is a daily event in a fallen world, where happiness does not come easily.  And yes mental illness does make the process more difficult, not impossible but more difficult.  The key to understanding happiness is its ability to coexist within our difficult moments.

So what does it mean to turn on the water and place the bucket where it can be filled?  How do we get to happiness from where we are now?  Before we go too far down that road we need to define the rules of the road.  There are many, many people that shout from many rooftops about the multitude of happy roads each has found.  I don’t think you need to look too far into the self-help section of any library online or almost anyone’s social media feed to see that the road to happiness has many answers in our world.  The problem is twofold.  First, most self-help remedies have some good found within them.  Second, they also contain many falsehoods wrapped into the truth so tightly that is can be very difficult to extract one from the other.  So often we must either take these remedies in their entirety or not at all, and that poses a significant problem.  They will only provide a slice of happiness masqueraded as the complete solution.  So many of us trumpet moderate or mostly happy as the real thing. In essence, selecting a smaller less capable bucket.  If you really think about it, what makes the telestial and terrestrial kingdoms different is their definition of happiness which at its core is a smaller bucket.  Do they have happiness, yes but again it is limited.  Why? Because that is the bucket they have chosen.  The bucket wasn’t assigned at birth.  We all have the same potential based on our pre-earth life.  People chose their bucket based on what they are willing to do to obtain happiness.

The problem with any happiness outside of celestial spheres is that they seek for happiness without the Savior, or worse they seek only a portion of the Savior, claiming a full measure.  Can happiness be found without the complete atonement of Jesus Christ and his guiding influence?  The true answer is no.  But reality is yes but it will be limited.  One can still be a wonderful person without the full gospel.  An act of service is an act of service, especially when it is done without thought of reward.  There is happiness in serving and helping others outside of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  And yes those who serve others find happiness in their service whether or not they believe in Jesus Christ.  That is one of the benefits of grace found in the atonement of Jesus Christ.  One does not have to believe in the goodness and power that extends from the atonement of Jesus Christ to reap of some the benefits.  After all, the Savior said that his Father caused the rain to fall on the good and the evil.  And certainly those in the terrestrial kingdom will be happier than those left in the telestial. But that type of happiness is and will always be limited.  True enduring and complete happiness is only found within the complete standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  So in the sense of buckets if we have chosen anything outside the full gospel, our bucket will be smaller and leakier.  We will find happiness but it will be limited in quantity and quality.  As we speak of happiness in this way, we then see happiness on a sliding scale and based on the size of bucket we have chosen.

Once we have chosen the bucket with the greatest potential, we then must consider the size and quantity of the leaks.  It does no good, in point of fact, it likely does more harm than good when you have so many leaks that no matter the source, you just can’t fill the bucket.  Now, filling the leaks is what we refer to as repentance and that doesn’t happen all at once.  In-filling the leaks and strengthening the bucket will be a long-term process.  You won’t be able to fill all the leaks immediately and having patience while you work through the process is critical.  Also filling the leaks requires the Savior’s atoning blood and life.  If we attempt to make changes without the Savior’s help, they will be patches rather than true repairs and over time we will likely be patching again.  This yoked with the Savior concept is the beginning of our happiness and is very helpful when weakness, illness and mortality cause issues with our ability to repair the bucket.  Sometimes we simply don’t have the capacity to repair the bucket.  Due to our mental illness or other weakness, sometimes we don’t have the material, ability or energy to repair the bucket.  The wonderful thing about being yoked with the Savior is that he can supplement all of our repair processes and provide material, ability and capacity.  So as we work and repair the holes, the happiness stays longer and requires less time to fill the bucket.

Now we can do everything to repair the bucket, to get it into the right places and still not turn on the water.  We need personal revelation.  By the way, the secret to happiness is personal revelation.  That has always been the secret, although not really much of a secret. We need to turn on that living water.  Like in our homes with running water, we still must turn on the facet or the shower for water to appear.  Turning on the water occurs when we do those things that allow for the spirit and then revelation to flow into our lives.  Now just like those annoying automated facets in public buildings, when we turn on the water, it doesn’t necessarily remain running.  We must continually do those things to keep the water running.  When the Lord speaks of a prayer in the heart, this is one way we keep those waters flowing.  We must also do those simple things each day that open the facet.  Now does this mean we must read a full chapter of the Book of Mormon each day?  Do we need to find an ancestor a day with our family history?  Must we pray three times a day? What are the steps, the pattern?

The truth is that the pattern is as personal as the revelation.  And that is very important to the bucket discussion.  The Savior can work with what you have.  He can work with very limited capacities.  He can work with capacities that change day to day.  He can meet you where you are, no matter the day, the time of day or where you path has taken you.  So there is no specific set of rules but there is a pattern.  Do we need to study the gospel? Yes.  Do we need to attend sacrament meeting?  Yes.  Do we need to do everything we have been told? Yes. But if our illness limits our ability, the Lord will not withhold the blessing.  Meaning that if our study is very limited one day but we have done what we can we should expect the revelation blessing.  This doesn’t mean that our depression or anxious moments will be removed, although it might be.  When we search for happiness, it must be through the revelatory process and the Spirit of the Lord.  This doesn’t mean we can’t find measured happiness in recreation, relationships, and a host of wonderful things this world has to offer.  What it means is that we need to experience these events with the Lord not absent his guiding influence.  Happiness is feeling those revelatory experiences daily and with confidence and conviction.  Yes both those words are difficult when you battle the dark forces of evil that surround mental illness, but even those emotions can be supplemented by the Lord.

This last several months has been nothing short of a hell for myself.  My autoimmune illness has augmented to the point that I have lost a job and needed to search for other employment.  I have felt pain, anger, disappointment, struggle and every other piercing word on a regular basis.  I have felt a loss of desire so deep that one can hardly express it.  I have lain awake suffering wondering why when I am trying so hard to patch my bucket, it feels like the adversary is regularly taking a shotgun to it.  I can’t seem to keep up with the holes, the patching and the filling.  And yet, one thing I have noticed in my trying is that the revelation has not ceased.  I have felt both a happiness and joy even within the midst of trying emotions.  I have felt an inner peace surrounded by darkness, that was not mine.  My pains and sufferings have not been removed, in point of fact that have dramatically increased but I have not been without happiness in the form that is most lasting and most satisfying.  I have felt the presence of the Lord and these words.  Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you.  Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.  The adversary can shoot holes all day in my bucket but somewhat like the Savior’s ability to walk on water, he seems to possess the ability to keep the water in the bucket even when the quantity of holes due to my illnesses would say otherwise.  The peace I found was my joy, my revelation, my happiness and it came in the midst of one of my more difficult trials.  My challenge to each of you is to find that revelatory happiness, that peace that the Savior can only give.  I know that if you extend your voice and even the smallest of efforts the Savior will immediately reach back in loving refrain.  Until next week Do your part so that the Lord can do his.