Episode #288 - Stress Triggers

Stress is the motivational source for our symptoms.  The greater the stress in our lives the more likely we are to have difficult symptoms.   So what can we do?

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Episode #288 – Stress Triggers

I think that many of you know that I work in the construction industry as a schedule and controls analyst.  I have worked in this industry for many years and like many industries it is a high demand, high stress world.  I work in one of the less stressful jobs in the industry and I did so by design.  I realized early on that this industry made marriages dissolve and burnout was very high.  Thus the reason why the industry has to pay so high a salary for the majority of the jobs that are available.  When you burn people out and you subject them to high stress environments, you tend to see very high levels of mental health problems.  Many individuals within the industry cope with the high stress and burnout with addictive behaviors that have longer-term lasting effects upon their lives.  Many lives are cut short by suicide, and addictive behaviors when it could be otherwise.

Much of the problem lies in the nature of the work and the bravado that underlies the industry.  Manly epitomes of the construction worker getting hard work done and returning home satisfied with his work are really few and far between.  So often pressures to preform work and rework quickly, weather, problematic personalities, bullying, hazing, a feeling of just being a number wear on the individuals until they are beaten into submission and then find ways to cope.  So often those coping mechanisms are drugs, alcohol and various substances such as caffeine and nicotine that deter the mind and body from the emotional and physical fatigue.  Humans do not do well in environments that create high stress in their lives.  That is really what I want to discuss today.  Stress factors in your life. 

Stress is the pressure that causes many of the problems associate with mental health.  Low levels of stress and a good management plan can often mitigate the symptoms of mental health until they are almost nonexistent.  However, we all can’t have jobs and lives without stress.  Just doesn’t happen in mortality.  We are always under some level of stress.  Even loneliness and retirement creates its own stresses upon the body.  We simply cannot escape it.  I know a young mother who has bipolar and she is struggling with her illness because her children demand significant attention.  She wants to be a good mother, spouse, friend, church member and community member but the reality is that she can’t be all those things perfectly and be mentally healthy.  She often has to choose what it the priority in life and reduce her commitments to better align her life with the stress she can handle.  

We all possess a stress limit in our lives.  When we cross that limit our bodies do what they naturally do.  They produce symptoms that are telling us that we are under too much stress.  For some people such as perhaps those in the elite military services that breaking point is very high and for others that breaking point is very low.  We need to more fully understand our breaking points and those various points at which our body is signaling we are under too much stress.

Stress activates the fight or flight system in the body.  When the body gets into a situation where it feels stress whether the situation is stressful or not, it activates this hardwired system in the brain and body.  This system has the ability to take over the brain and reduces one’s thinking and power of control over the brain.  Because it is hardwired to take over the brain and body and is built to work around the processor in the brain, it can be a difficult to control our emotions and reactions to what is occurring around us.  Many of us do not use the flight response as often as we use the flight response.  This flight response causes us to seek out places of comfort and seclusion so that our brain can take back the controls.  We do not always determine what causes this system to react and it is a complex web of history, emotions, deterioration of the mind and body and perception of the mind.  We can feel threatened by almost anything that the body deems might have an impact on us.  We can also associate things, people, places, objects and really almost anything with a traumatic experience.  Once associated and deemed problematic to the brain and body, it becomes a part of the triggering mechanism.  Triggers are those things that activate our stress response.  Let’s say someone like me who is a people pleaser by nature comes into a situation that has no real reason for stress but the mind and body perceive the situation as one where I may disappoint someone.  The body will then activate the stress system, even if the situation does not call for it.  

So we can be hijacked at a moments notice when the body perceives stress.  Stress is most often the trigger for our mental illness.  Low levels of stress still allow for some rational thought and emotional control.  Higher levels of stress activate increasing levels of flight of fight mode and less emotional and thought control.  Managing our stress and our triggers are key to the success of managing mental health.  However, in a well-meaning church where pressures to perform can appear a great deal like stress, we can find ourselves less and less engaged in the work.  Not because we don’t want to be engaged but because our body perceives what we are doing as a stress threat.

We then find ourselves fighting our body because we know what we are to do and our responsibilities and at the same time our body is stating slow down, find a different path.  This is too much for me right now.  It can be very difficult when we are torn between attending church as we should and paralyzing depression or anxiety.  We know that we must keep the commandments but sometimes keeping those important events and meetings is far more detrimental to our mental health.  We must learn to run the race we can rather than to follow those who do not have our weaknesses.

But to be included is to be a participant in the work, and that is difficult when participating causes serious strains on the mental and physical body.  I don’t think that the Lord intended the gospel, its meetings and organization to be a hindrance to our salvation.  Its intent is to build not to cause serious issues with our mental health.  We should do what we can and attend where it provides us the greatest value.  A social event may not be on the list of priorities but the sacrament could and perhaps should be.  If we cannot sit in a room full of people due to anxiety or even depression, then we should do our best to attend where we may receive the spirit and at the same time lessen the difficulties to our bodies and mental health.

Reducing stress is no easy task.  I have tried my entire life and in many cases I have failed.  Disappointed people in your life pushing and pulling you in different directions.  The need to work and to make a living.  The need for a deepening relationship and family.  Life simply tends to push us towards the stresses of the day, week and even throughout the year.  So how do you do it.

First you need to be able to say no or I can’t.  This can be one of the most difficult problems to overcome.  We typically don’t say no in the church, We are a can do church.  But that is when we have the capacity.  When we do not have capacity it is perfectly OK to say no and I can’t.  Even if this causes us to be someone isolated for our decisions.  We can certainly explain the issue, but explaining mental health as the issue does not always open doors.  We should be cautious who we tell and how we tell them.  This world is still full of stigma and wonder about mental health conditions and unfortunately it is best when we do not tell everyone.  Yes I have made an effort to tell everyone concerning my mental health issues but that isn’t for everyone.  You will be isolated not because you have the illness but because most people know very little about it.  That lack of knowledge creates the void we tend to fall into.

Second, you are going to need an advocate.  Someone who will help you to say no when you need to.  My wife does a wonderful job for me, although she still doesn’t always fully understand my autoimmune issues.  She will quickly keep me out of trouble when I want to say yes but should be saying I can’t.  This advocate will often be someone who is close to you and with you on a regular basis.  They need to be sensitive to your problems but also willing to push a little when necessary.  We needs these advocates because we often cannot see outside of ourselves and we need someone with an outward perspective.  They can tell us when we are not doing well even when we seem to think that we are.  Your advocate will be able to pick up on subtle signs and communications that allow them to be somewhat of a guide in your life, keeping you out of trouble and more service than you are able to bear.  Yes I did say it.  Service is wonderful but it can be troublesome to an individual struggling with mental health.  We even need to take service with a grain of salt and understand our limitations.

Third and perhaps most important we need to have faith.  Yes our faith is going to vary widely at times but we need to maintain as much faith as possible in our lives.  Not an easy task when Lucifer seems to have so much access during our episodes.  Even then when we feel that our faith is weak, we need to strive to have as much as we can given our limitations.  This will mean that sometimes we go to church when we have no desire to do so.  We don’t need to stress ourselves out about going but we need the sacrament and we are rewarded when it becomes difficult to accomplish every week. We need to push spiritual boundaries but not so much that the push becomes more of a problem than the original issue. We need to run the race that we can when we can.  This will mean that differing faith levels will require that we extend ourselves according to our faith and ability without causing serious difficulties for ourselves or others.  And yes this is a difficult thing to accomplish.

Finally, I know that when we ask the Lord to help us with the stressful day we have before us, he will respond.  Maybe not in the way we expect but he has many ways that he can provide help while still allowing for our illness to have the intended benefit. We should look to him often and perhaps more often than we already do.  He is there for us as we ask.  I think sometimes we don’t ask.  This might also mean that we ask with little faith because that is all we have at the time.  That little faith is sufficient for the Lord to work his miracles.  He doesn’t need much but a little faith and belief.

I want you to know as I sign-off today, that your healing is on the way.  Yes it might be a little far off but it is there.  The Lord cares deeply for you.  He cares for the small details in your life.  He cares about everything so tell him everything.  There isn’t anything he can help with until that beautiful day comes when you are released from this bondage.  One of the beautiful messages of the Book of Mormon is the release from bondage that happens so frequently throughout its pages.  The Lord is looking to heal us.  He desires to heal us.  He knows when that healing should take place and so we should ever be vigilant in asking for that long awaited day.  Until next week, do your part so that the Lord can do his.