Episode #292 - Lot's Wife and Looking Back

Why was Lot's wife and family told not to look back.  The answer provides value to everyone especially those who suffer.

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Welcome to episode #292 – Lot’s Wife and Looking Back.  I hope that you will forgive me for some alliteration of the scripture in this case.  I believe that it will help expand the subject matter to better help us explore mortal minds and spiritual experiences.  And I hope you enjoy this week’s episode.  Just as a reminder, the best way for the this podcast to spread is work of mouth.  If you have a chance would and you feel comfortable doing so, would you spread the word.

Suddenly a knock at the door came.  Lot’s wife was temporarily awakened from her conscious dreaming.  She had just been thinking about Sodom and how many wonderful friends she had there.  She was also thinking about her children and grandchildren and how much good they were doing.  The knock caught her off-guard.  She wasn’t expecting anyone.  It wasn’t unusual for visitors as her and Lot had one of the more refined homes in the village and they held various community roles.  She listened for voices she might recognize but the voices she heard did not register.  Just out of sight of the doorway, she leaned over to see who it might be.  Three men were standing in the doorway and talking with Lot.  She didn’t recognize them.

Lot invited them into the main room and motioned for his wife to come to meet the men.  Cautiously she extended a warm greeting.  They were obviously not from Sodom.  Their language and dress gave that away instantly.  Lot was somewhat reticent and withdrawn as though he had bad news.  It was not long before Lot’s wife came to hear the news.  They and their families and anyone they could convince to go with them needed to leave the city today.  The Lord was going to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and leave nothing standing. 

Her mind was now racing.  How could she leave?  She had family, friends, children a beautiful house.  As Lot and the men discussed the issue further she sunk into the seat next to her.  She couldn’t leave within a day.  There was too much to do and to pack.  The conversation around them leaving had indications that they were to leave everything but the most important items.  Her mind suddenly froze.  Her children.  They would never leave.  Would they believe that the city would be destroyed.  Doubtful.  Even she had her reservations about what the men had told her.  Not that she didn’t believe.  It was more that everything she knew and loved was in that city.  She had so many fond memories and experiences.

It was then that another knock came at the door.  The Elders of the city wanted to talk to the three men who had come to visit.  They were in a fowl mood and had been drinking significantly.  Lot realized the danger and tried to persuade the men to go home and sleep off the drunkenness before they did something stupid.  That seemed to only irritate the main body of them and they attempted to rush the door.  The three men seeing the danger grabbed Lot and pulled him into the house.  The men continued to rush the door until suddenly a bright light blinded them.  Being unable to see the men realized that perhaps a little sleep would be necessary but they would return.  Lot and his wife didn’t think much of it.  Things always got a little crazy when the men of the city went on a drinking binge.

The evening progressed and lot and his wife eventually slipped out into the darkness.  While they were still a little doubtful that the city would be destroyed, they needed to talk to their children and close friends.  The conversations did not go very well.  Even their children would not believe it.  Even when the three men spoke with them directly.  They simply could not believe that Sodom would be destroyed.  Lot and his wife returned home distraught and then spoke with the two youngest.  They would naturally do what they were told but leaving was going to be difficult for them.  They wanted to say goodbye to all their friends.

The consensus from extended family and friends was that they would think about it.  Lot gave them until morning to decide.  Lot’s wife could not sleep waiting for someone to come to the door and be saved from the impending catastrophe.  No one came.  Not even a second discussion about it.  No one believed.  Early morning hours came quickly and the three men said that it was time to go.  Lot’s wife had packed only the essentials.  Suddenly the three men were taking them by the hands and escorting them out the door to the gates of the city.  Everything was quiet that early in the morning and Lot’s wife kept looking back to see if anyone was coming with them.  Then came the command.  “Don’t look back” as they were leaving the city to go to the mountains.  Why did it matter if she looked back?

The command was more than a simple command.  The Lord knew Lot and his wife and their attachment to the mortal world and all it held.  It is certain that the Lord knew that they had left children in the city.  He knew they left friends and he knew that the destruction would be loud and cause them to fear.  The Lord knew all these things and he knew how mortal minds work.  The command to not look back was a command to leave everything behind including their comforts of life.  To look back longingly as a deep desire to return or even worse to be included in the destruction.  She was going to be distraught and certainly her heart tore at her.  But the command remained and when the Lord commands he has a good reason for doing so.  If any benefit could be found in looking back to the city, the Lord would have allowed it.  But no benefit existed.

Sometimes we get so involved in the world and all its enticing and alluring places and activities that we forget to avoid looking back.  Living in the past is a terrible way to live.  Our minds are not set up to remember the past with clarity.  We see it through a modified lens and most often we remember the past by what we felt, not necessarily by what occurred.  The same event for one person could be one of the happiness moments of their life while for another person it may not matter at all.  Our mind remembers by emotion and when we feel certain emotions it triggers memories of past events.  We can then relive those events over and over again.  While good memories can be helpful to spur us onto a happier life, memories both good and bad can alter our present and future.  We are consistently comparing our past life to our current life.  Because our brain does not remember things correctly and with a tainted emotional view, the comparison can be terribly problematic.  In addition to remembering incorrectly our brain tends to remember past difficulties far more intensely than happy days.  Meaning that we tend to remember the bad more often than the good.  

When we do this we drag yesterday’s emotions into the present, tainting the present with emotional baggage that can cause serious issues.  Avoiding the past in all cases except to remember a good moment for a short time is really all we should allow.  But our depression and anxiety tend to cause bad memories to linger in our minds and hearts causing further deterioration of our mood.  Can we avoid the past?  Probably not due to the way our mind works but we can limit how the past affects our future.

Every morning I get into the shower and for some reason I have been asking myself, “Are you happy?”  I don’t know how or why this started.  It has caused me to reflect regularly on the idea of happiness.  However, asking this question automatically causes me to reflect on my past to see if I am happy.  If my past has not been a good one, then I am likely to say that I am not that happy.  This can then carry over to my day.  Just a short reflection and an answer to a question can cause a serious difference in my day.  I have more recently made the change to that question.  I don’t evaluate my past but where I stand with the Lord.  The answer to that question generally goes much better than the question of happiness.  Happiness, true happiness, comes from the Lord.  If I am asking whether I am happy, I am really asking how do I stand with the Lord, not what do I feel in the moment.  What I feel in my mortal body may be happy or not but my standing with the Lord is a more consistent beacon of my happiness.  What I have found that if you ask the Lord for your standing on a regular basis you will find greater happiness.

However, a caution to this line of thinking comes with mental illness.  Depression colors everything you do including every question.  The only way that the standing with the Lord question works is if you are able to bypass the depression feelings and moments of anxiety.  That is difficult to do even for someone who has significant experience in working with their mental health.  The only way to accomplish the task is to relegate the depressive and anxiety laden moments by assigning them to an illness and avoid allowing them to become our reality.  I tend to ask myself why I feel the way I do.  If I do not have a quick and definitive answer, then I normally assign my feelings to my illness and compartmentalize my feelings.  This doesn’t mean that my depression and anxiety do not affect my day because they do.  But compartmentalizing my emotions can lighten the load that I feel and allow me to feel more of the spirit of the Lord.  Does this always work?  Not necessarily but it does a good portion of the time.  I don’t need to pretend happiness.  Falsifying happiness will not provide a solid base of emotion from which to work.  We must acknowledge what we feel and then compartmentalize what we need to isolate as much as possible.

Now compartmentalization does not always work for everyone but it can be used by most individuals to at the very least quantify that what we are feeling is not reality.  Masking and feigning happiness is simply a trap of the mind.  It doesn’t work, not against mental health problems.  Yes we can will ourselves to be happy if we don’t have mental health issues and I often think that this is why individuals tell us to “just get over it”.  Finding happiness in general comes from the Lord and even some worldly distractions as long as they don’t become priority over the Lord’s commands.  We can certainly find happiness in our work, accomplishments, recreation and various social activities but this will always be that short term happiness that will need continuous feeding to remain happy. 

So often we find ourselves lost in this worldly happiness as it tends to occupy our brains during mental health episodes and provides a quick solution to the emotional problems.  However, as I have said previously, if you seek that happiness you will not find joy unless you are within the confines of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As we look again to Lot and his wife we find that much of their happiness derived from Sodom rather than from the Lord.  This is likely why the Lord issued the ultimatum that to look back was forbidden.  The Lord was not trying to punish a mother looking back as her children suffered a terrible fate.  He was teaching Lot and his wife to seek him rather than the worldly pleasures that have no real foundation.  How does this work for us?  The same is true and perhaps more true when we suffer with depression, anxiety and bipolar.  We will tend to look to the world for answers and for happiness to cope with the negative feelings we endure.  While worldly solutions can help and provide some relief they can also be taken to the extreme that leads to wandering on strange roads that have no value in the eternal scheme of things.  Lot’s wife’s caution is still just as true today.  Looking back and finding happiness in the world is really a death sentence unless it is tempered with the gospel of Jesus Christ and a relationship with the Savior.  Until next time.  Do your part so that the Lord can do his.