WEBVTT 00:00:00.059 --> 00:00:01.004 Good morning to you. 00:00:01.004 --> 00:00:07.195 All right, let me give you a better opportunity. 00:00:07.195 --> 00:00:08.906 Let's celebrate Jesus this morning. 00:00:08.906 --> 00:00:11.067 Are you happy to be in the house of the Lord? 00:00:11.067 --> 00:00:12.064 That's all right. 00:00:12.064 --> 00:00:18.312 All right, you can give me that little pity pat, but you know, as long as we don't under appreciate Jesus, we're in a good spot. 00:00:18.312 --> 00:00:19.524 Are y'all happy to be here today? 00:00:19.524 --> 00:00:26.211 Elbow your neighbor real quick or high five, and we'll just look at him funny and say this is going to be a good series. 00:00:26.211 --> 00:00:27.155 Go ahead and tell him. 00:00:27.155 --> 00:00:28.239 I'm just gonna tell you right now. 00:00:28.239 --> 00:00:29.460 I'm gonna go ahead and make the promise right now. 00:00:29.460 --> 00:00:31.547 This is going to be a good series. 00:00:31.547 --> 00:00:42.064 We're so excited to have you all in the house with us today and for those of you who are with us for the first time online and those of us who are with us for the first time, just thank you for coming. 00:00:42.064 --> 00:00:51.045 Today we are going to kick off a new series for the summer, and this series is called At the Movies Now don't get all nervous. 00:00:51.045 --> 00:00:53.941 In the service we are. 00:00:54.121 --> 00:01:12.527 Have you ever noticed that Jesus had the ability to take a story that people could relate to, regardless of their walk of life, and be able to pull that into a context so he could communicate the heart of God and the promises in God's word. 00:01:12.527 --> 00:01:14.546 Did you ever notice that Jesus could do that? 00:01:14.546 --> 00:01:36.093 He told stories and he told parables, and so this series is all about repowing If you ever had your car repo, I hope not but repowing stories that people are familiar with and using modern stories to re-communicate ancient truth. 00:01:36.093 --> 00:01:36.701 How many of y'all know? 00:01:36.701 --> 00:01:44.924 It ain't ever been nothing wrong with the Bible or the gospel, but sometimes we have to help people understand it in a language that they get. 00:01:44.924 --> 00:01:46.730 So that's what we're doing today. 00:01:46.730 --> 00:01:47.905 We're just trying to be like Jesus. 00:01:47.980 --> 00:01:49.364 Somebody say let's go ahead and get started. 00:01:49.364 --> 00:01:58.569 So today we are going to start this series out and we're going to look into a movie called Wakanda Forever. 00:01:58.569 --> 00:02:01.087 Wakanda Forever y'all know what I'm talking about. 00:02:01.087 --> 00:02:07.411 So Wakanda Forever in 2022, it was the number two grossing movie in the world. 00:02:07.411 --> 00:02:19.948 I mean, it made more money and had more people watching it than anybody else, and I think a big part of it was because it was the highly anticipated sequel to the movie Black Panther and it was honestly an amazing movie. 00:02:19.948 --> 00:02:29.361 But what was unique about it is that it was sorrowfully delivered Because the star of the original movie the Black Panther. 00:02:29.361 --> 00:02:30.645 His name was Chadwick Boseman. 00:02:30.645 --> 00:02:40.927 He died, died Iconic hero, iconic character, and he died right after that movie. 00:02:40.927 --> 00:03:07.070 And so when we see the sequel, we find everyone in that movie actually enduring real life pain as they work through this thing on the screen, because they were really hurting, they didn't have to act that part and the main character shifted from being T'Challa, who was the former Black Panther who passed away, to his sister. 00:03:09.061 --> 00:03:28.627 Star of the cast was a character named Princess Shuri, and through the entire movie we see Shuri navigating this intense, excruciating agony and pain because she had lost someone that was really irreplaceable in her life. 00:03:28.627 --> 00:03:37.030 Through the entire movie it never stopped In the closing credits she was still working through it. 00:03:37.030 --> 00:03:44.188 Anybody know what I'm talking about, how it feels to lose somebody that you can't replace. 00:03:44.188 --> 00:03:59.889 The nation lost a hero, they lost a king, but she lost her best friend, she lost her brother and there was a hole in her life that she was trying to figure out how to feel. 00:03:59.889 --> 00:04:10.665 And then, on top of that, she was presented with a problem that was way too big for any one person to solve. 00:04:10.665 --> 00:04:12.424 Who's seen that movie? 00:04:12.424 --> 00:04:14.044 Do you have any kind of reference? 00:04:14.044 --> 00:04:16.786 Raise your hand, if you see this, so I can kind of know who I'm talking to up in here. 00:04:16.786 --> 00:04:18.285 Okay, yeah, y'all gave them some of your money too. 00:04:18.285 --> 00:04:28.370 And so Shuri found herself looking for a solution to her pain and looking for a solution to her problem. 00:04:28.459 --> 00:04:39.932 And in the movie, all of a sudden, she found herself surrounded by three characters, and each one of them had a desire to connect with her relationally in a different way. 00:04:39.932 --> 00:04:59.329 And I think, just like Shuri, each of us surrounded by many relational options, lot of choices on the types of connections that we can make, the types of relationships that we can build. 00:04:59.329 --> 00:05:07.658 But, just like Shuri, who we choose to connect with is a life or death kind of a situation. 00:05:07.658 --> 00:05:12.545 Everybody look at your neighbor and look at your neighbor and say it matters who you connect to. 00:05:12.545 --> 00:05:16.367 Tell your other neighbor, be careful who you choose. 00:05:16.367 --> 00:05:38.163 See, shuri had a purpose in her life and she had a purpose for the season, and so it was super important for Shuri to make sure that the selection process for her connections flowed out of wisdom instead of out of her need or her pain, y'all. 00:05:38.184 --> 00:05:42.305 But to listen to me up in here, we gotta be careful how we choose who we connect to. 00:05:42.305 --> 00:05:49.048 You know if you find yourself in a place where you have a heart deficit or you find yourself in a place of pain. 00:05:49.048 --> 00:05:52.550 We tend to reach for things that we should not reach for. 00:05:52.550 --> 00:05:56.468 We tend to accept things that we should not accept. 00:05:56.468 --> 00:05:58.447 I wish somebody would help me up in here today. 00:05:58.447 --> 00:06:26.190 We tend to latch on to people and find purpose in relationships that we should not, when we depart from our purpose and we connect based on our preference, and so today I wanna use the story of Wakanda forever to share a message on redefining relationships. 00:06:29.060 --> 00:06:32.230 Redefining our relationships. 00:06:32.230 --> 00:06:51.086 This is kinda one of those things that's scary, because redefining our relationships puts us in a place where we have to be willing to scrutinize what we currently have. 00:06:51.086 --> 00:06:54.149 We gotta be willing to upset the apple cart just a little bit. 00:06:54.149 --> 00:06:57.122 We gotta be a we gotta sometimes we gotta poke the bear. 00:06:57.122 --> 00:07:03.845 We gotta push into the dominant relationships that we have in our lives to redefine them. 00:07:03.845 --> 00:07:06.365 Otherwise they stay the same. 00:07:07.110 --> 00:07:09.444 Today, we're gonna talk about redefining relationships. 00:07:09.444 --> 00:07:13.564 Before we can even understand what redefine means, we need to understand what define means. 00:07:13.564 --> 00:07:16.254 So let me give you a definition. 00:07:16.254 --> 00:07:30.158 To define means to determine or identify the essential qualities or the meaning of something it's defined as to discover and set forth the meaning. 00:07:30.158 --> 00:07:42.718 A lot of us have a picture in our head of what each relationship in our lives means to us, and too many of us lump all of them in the category of friend or enemy. 00:07:42.718 --> 00:07:46.750 But how many of y'all know that there's some other colors in the crayon box? 00:07:46.750 --> 00:07:48.257 Y'all know what I'm talking about, right? 00:07:48.257 --> 00:07:50.625 You know, if you was poor, you grew up with eight colors. 00:07:50.625 --> 00:08:03.004 But if you had rich parents you had 64, were the pencil sharpener, all right, I'm just saying there are more friend, there are more relationship colors in the coloring box than friend or enemy. 00:08:03.004 --> 00:08:15.843 We gotta be able to define the relationships that we are in, because how we define our relationships will make us or they will, they really really will, they really really will. 00:08:15.843 --> 00:08:24.504 So when we say redefine, we're talking about reevaluating, we're talking about reexamining, we're talking about repositioning. 00:08:24.504 --> 00:08:32.200 There's a whole bunch of reeds that we gotta be willing to do when we redefine our relationships. 00:08:32.200 --> 00:08:39.400 So let me go ahead and set it really, really straight for the day so that nobody thinks I'm saying something that I'm not. 00:08:39.421 --> 00:08:44.019 Ms Carly, this is not a conversation about friendships. 00:08:44.019 --> 00:08:48.738 In fact, I'm probably not even gonna talk about friendships today because we default to friend or enemy. 00:08:48.738 --> 00:09:02.841 Y'all we've been taught since kindergarten, preschool, to be friendly, kindergarten, share and be friendly. 00:09:02.841 --> 00:09:10.705 And we go through our entire educational season of being told to be friendly. 00:09:10.705 --> 00:09:20.375 And what happens is that it's ingrained in us so early that we begin to think that if we're supposed to be friendly everybody, then that must mean everybody must be our. 00:09:20.375 --> 00:09:34.835 But how many of y'all know, as my grandmama used to say, larry Wardell, don't you ever call me that Not everybody is your friend. 00:09:34.835 --> 00:09:38.684 So we're not even gonna talk about friendship today. 00:09:38.684 --> 00:09:40.432 Can we do that for a second? 00:09:40.432 --> 00:09:44.009 Because there are way more colors in the friendship box than that. 00:09:44.009 --> 00:10:19.331 We've been taught to lean towards friendship, but I can't think of a single time in the rules where they told us how to navigate other relationships, and so we carry with us the immature mindset that we had in elementary school and junior high and we don't know how to navigate the space or the pace or the place of the people that are in our circle around us. 00:10:19.745 --> 00:10:20.812 Somebody say everybody ain't your friend. 00:10:20.812 --> 00:10:24.674 So this ain't a message about friendship. 00:10:24.674 --> 00:10:27.654 This also is not a conversation about throwing people away. 00:10:27.654 --> 00:10:36.725 Again, not everybody's your enemy, even though they make you uncomfortable. 00:10:36.725 --> 00:10:42.133 I wish somebody would help me in here, mad at your boss, because they trying to help you perform. 00:10:42.133 --> 00:10:43.929 They ain't your friend at your boss. 00:10:43.929 --> 00:10:46.552 I'm just gonna stop right now. 00:10:46.552 --> 00:10:50.029 Uh-oh, listen to me. 00:10:50.029 --> 00:10:52.291 Listen to me. 00:10:52.291 --> 00:10:54.684 This is not a conversation about throwing people away. 00:10:55.306 --> 00:11:01.038 The baseline of our discipleship is to love everybody. 00:11:01.038 --> 00:11:03.508 Love who? 00:11:03.508 --> 00:11:07.232 Not just the people you like, but the people that you. 00:11:07.232 --> 00:11:12.270 Okay, we supposed to love everybody, but let me explain something to you. 00:11:12.270 --> 00:11:16.793 It didn't say be with everybody. 00:11:16.793 --> 00:11:29.437 This is where a lot of our heartbreak kicks in, because we don't define our relationships. 00:11:29.437 --> 00:11:45.707 And to launch into this, we need to accept a truth, and the truth is this is that God has called each of us to a life filled with relationships you can't escape. 00:11:45.707 --> 00:11:49.171 You need people. 00:11:49.171 --> 00:11:57.725 Look at your neighbor and say you need you some peoples, you need some peoples, I need some peoples. 00:11:57.725 --> 00:11:58.870 We get it. 00:11:59.764 --> 00:12:04.451 Genesis, chapter 2, first thing the Lord says after he makes man, he says it's not good for man to be. 00:12:04.451 --> 00:12:07.494 I'm going to make a helper. 00:12:07.494 --> 00:12:11.769 Adam called her a woman, god called her a. 00:12:11.769 --> 00:12:14.360 That's suitable for him. 00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:16.725 It's not good for man to be alone. 00:12:16.725 --> 00:12:21.725 And then, in Ecclesiastes chapter, I'm going to read this Can we put that on the screen? 00:12:21.725 --> 00:12:23.792 Ecclesiastes 4. 00:12:23.792 --> 00:12:27.664 I'm going to start with this and you kind of follow along with this. 00:12:27.885 --> 00:12:33.705 It says two are better than one, for they get a good reward on their labor or on their toil. 00:12:33.705 --> 00:12:45.725 And it says and if they fall, one will lift up his fellow, but woe to the one who is alone when they fall and doesn't have anybody to help them up. 00:12:45.725 --> 00:12:47.571 Somebody say I'm falling and I can't get up. 00:12:47.571 --> 00:12:55.615 And it says again if it's cold this is what I'm talking about If two lie together they keep warm. 00:12:55.615 --> 00:12:58.192 But how can one keep warm alone? 00:12:58.192 --> 00:13:01.431 It's cold out there in isolation. 00:13:01.431 --> 00:13:08.712 And then it says and though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. 00:13:08.712 --> 00:13:16.731 What he's really saying in the Larry Ghetto international version is you might be able to whip me, but you can't whip me. 00:13:16.731 --> 00:13:21.831 And TJ, you might be able to get me, but we going to get you. 00:13:21.831 --> 00:13:24.931 Look at your neighbor and say I got your back. 00:13:26.825 --> 00:13:33.450 Listen, god's plan for us is to be called into a lifetime of war, time of relationships. 00:13:33.450 --> 00:13:52.705 But we have to be careful y'all, because in our understanding that our lives are going to be filled with relationship, we have to understand that it is critical to understand how to connect with each connection opportunity that we have around us. 00:13:52.705 --> 00:13:57.614 Everybody is not supposed to be treated the exact same way. 00:13:57.614 --> 00:14:03.720 The apostle Paul breaks this down for us. 00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:11.974 I love this because y'all know that Corinthians church had trauma and drama and all kind of craziness up in there and they was like hood and holy at the exact same time. 00:14:11.974 --> 00:14:12.655 You know what I'm saying. 00:14:12.655 --> 00:14:15.994 They was hallelujah and they was ratchet at the exact same time. 00:14:15.994 --> 00:14:16.535 You know what I mean. 00:14:16.535 --> 00:14:21.684 They was twerking and they was holy ghost jerking at the exact same church that was the church of Corinthians. 00:14:21.684 --> 00:14:23.312 They were all over the place. 00:14:23.312 --> 00:14:25.725 They were all over the place. 00:14:25.905 --> 00:14:29.684 And so first Corinthians, chapter 15, paul says this to them. 00:14:29.684 --> 00:14:42.836 He says verse 33, he says don't be deceived, because bad company ruins or corrupts good morals. 00:14:42.836 --> 00:14:46.684 Paul said don't be deceived. 00:14:46.684 --> 00:14:48.638 What he was saying is family. 00:14:48.638 --> 00:14:51.048 We were talking about this just a minute ago, elder Howard. 00:14:51.249 --> 00:14:53.315 Relationships are tricky. 00:14:53.315 --> 00:14:57.705 Navigating relationships can be tricky. 00:14:57.705 --> 00:15:10.501 What he was saying is that it's easy for you to fall into the trap of surrounding yourself with the wrong blend of brothers and sisters. 00:15:10.501 --> 00:15:11.705 Don't look at nobody up in here. 00:15:11.705 --> 00:15:13.089 Y'all thinking right now. 00:15:13.089 --> 00:15:16.928 I know somebody up here got the wrong blend right now, save them. 00:15:16.928 --> 00:15:22.615 Jesus Paul was saying don't be deceived. 00:15:22.615 --> 00:15:35.195 That word deceived is a Greek word, it is plenao, and what that word basically means is that there is a pathway that's determined to be right. 00:15:35.195 --> 00:15:45.280 But when you are deceived in this way, you start to wander off from the proper pathway. 00:15:45.280 --> 00:15:52.705 You can either wander off by choice or you can be led astray by relationship. 00:15:52.705 --> 00:16:03.524 So what he is saying is you got to be careful that your relationships don't take you off of the way that God wants you to go. 00:16:03.524 --> 00:16:05.725 Can I get an amen on that? 00:16:05.725 --> 00:16:07.530 Look at your neighbor and say be careful. 00:16:07.530 --> 00:16:14.720 And so we have this conversation about redefining relationships. 00:16:15.326 --> 00:16:26.937 And we look at Princess Shuri from Wakanda forever and we realize that she was surrounded by a whole lot of people. 00:16:26.937 --> 00:16:31.972 But who she chose, chose Is that a word? 00:16:31.972 --> 00:16:33.705 Who she chose, who she chose? 00:16:33.705 --> 00:16:34.909 Yeah, that's not a word. 00:16:34.909 --> 00:16:37.211 If Ms Jocelyn was here, she'd be dying right now. 00:16:37.211 --> 00:16:43.596 She'd be like, really, who she chose to run with was going to change everything. 00:16:43.596 --> 00:16:45.744 So tell your neighbor you got it, you got it. 00:16:45.744 --> 00:16:47.509 You got to pay attention to who you run with. 00:16:47.509 --> 00:16:50.267 Is it okay if we're a little interactive today? 00:16:55.039 --> 00:17:00.413 Princess Shuri was not the only member of a royal family who had a situation like this. 00:17:00.413 --> 00:17:06.707 One of our favorites, king David, also had a similar situation. 00:17:06.707 --> 00:17:17.369 If you go to 2nd Samuel chapter 18, 19, 20, going to and you finish that out and you go into the first chapter of first Kings, you begin to see the story unfold. 00:17:17.369 --> 00:17:23.991 I'm gonna paraphrase a little bit of it, but I would love for you in your own time, to go to 2nd, to that Samuel chapter 18. 00:17:23.991 --> 00:17:27.851 Read 18 and 19 and you'll get the gist of what I'm talking about. 00:17:29.580 --> 00:17:33.070 But King David found himself, like Shuri, really, really heartbroken. 00:17:33.070 --> 00:17:36.904 He had lost somebody to. 00:17:36.904 --> 00:17:38.109 Only they didn't die. 00:17:38.109 --> 00:17:42.144 He lost his son to betrayal. 00:17:42.144 --> 00:17:45.025 He had a son by the name of Absalom. 00:17:45.025 --> 00:17:45.665 You ever heard of him? 00:17:45.665 --> 00:17:48.413 The Bible describes Absalom as handsome. 00:17:48.413 --> 00:17:52.912 He was like one of the most beautifully formed human beings in the Bible. 00:17:52.912 --> 00:17:58.369 So he thought he was all that a bag of chips and a coupon for more chips. 00:17:58.369 --> 00:18:11.108 And David's son, absalom, decided I'm taking over the kingdom, dad, you're out, I'm in and I'm gonna put me together an army to make it happen. 00:18:11.108 --> 00:18:17.851 And so David was heartbroken, but he still had a little bit of hope for some reconciliation. 00:18:17.940 --> 00:18:21.808 So David had the squash to rare the issue, the rift between him and his son. 00:18:21.808 --> 00:18:24.821 But he also had to Listen. 00:18:24.821 --> 00:18:26.126 He had to stop the rebellion too. 00:18:26.126 --> 00:18:35.431 To top it off, not only did his son rebel against him, but one of his closest friends, cat, by the name of a tithafel. 00:18:35.431 --> 00:18:37.180 He was his closest advisor. 00:18:37.180 --> 00:18:42.777 And so now we got David's son and David's closest advisor saying we're against you now. 00:18:42.777 --> 00:18:46.307 And David needed somebody to lean on. 00:18:46.307 --> 00:18:46.990 You know what I'm talking about. 00:18:46.990 --> 00:18:50.263 Anybody ever needed somebody to lean on just all the poop who just hits the fan. 00:18:50.263 --> 00:18:53.067 You need somebody you can count on. 00:18:55.315 --> 00:19:00.638 And David turns in his relationship circle to a guy by the name of Joe ab. 00:19:00.638 --> 00:19:04.571 Now, joe ab had been with David from the beginning. 00:19:04.571 --> 00:19:06.960 He was one of the mighty men, he was a warrior. 00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:09.269 They had been in many a bar room fight together. 00:19:09.269 --> 00:19:18.144 So David knew that if there was anybody who could get up in there and squash a rebellion, it was Joe ab. 00:19:18.144 --> 00:19:20.070 Joe ab was his lead general. 00:19:20.070 --> 00:19:29.637 The boy knew how to throw hands, he was a warrior, he was a fighter and David counted him as a friend. 00:19:29.637 --> 00:19:32.627 I mean, that's what he was, wasn't it? 00:19:35.106 --> 00:19:36.672 So David talked to Joe ab. 00:19:36.672 --> 00:19:39.140 He said job, you got to shut this rebellion down job says cool, I got it. 00:19:39.140 --> 00:19:41.891 David said take an army with you. 00:19:41.891 --> 00:19:44.000 In fact I'm gonna go with y'all just to make sure things don't get out of hand. 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:46.019 Y'all know what I'm talking about. 00:19:46.019 --> 00:19:50.517 They said no, king David, don't go, because you work so much, we can't. 00:19:50.517 --> 00:19:51.160 We can't risk losing you. 00:19:51.160 --> 00:19:52.803 We can't risk losing you. 00:19:52.803 --> 00:19:53.424 We got it. 00:19:53.424 --> 00:19:56.651 He says okay, cool, but when y'all get out there, listen, you're gonna run into Absalom. 00:19:56.651 --> 00:19:59.880 He's gonna be talking crazy. 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:01.602 Don't let him get you so mad that you kill him. 00:20:01.602 --> 00:20:03.546 Please deal gently with my son. 00:20:03.546 --> 00:20:07.173 He said don't kill my baby. 00:20:07.173 --> 00:20:13.395 I know he's tripping, but don't stab my son. 00:20:13.395 --> 00:20:14.161 That's what he said. 00:20:14.161 --> 00:20:17.269 Y'all look, y'all laughing cuz y'all wanted to stab somebody in the meaty part of their thigh yourself. 00:20:17.269 --> 00:20:24.913 He said don't hurt my family. 00:20:24.913 --> 00:20:27.625 You follow the story on. 00:20:27.644 --> 00:20:28.848 Joe app ends up out there. 00:20:28.848 --> 00:20:30.963 They get into a situation. 00:20:30.963 --> 00:20:33.288 Joe up squashes it just like he said he would. 00:20:33.288 --> 00:20:36.865 He, he defeated all the opponents and he got to a place to where it's like a. 00:20:36.865 --> 00:20:38.190 It's like a crazy movie. 00:20:38.190 --> 00:20:43.819 Absalom is riding through there and he get his hair and his helmet stuff get stuck in the thicket and he can't get loose. 00:20:43.819 --> 00:20:48.551 Soldiers pull up and they say oh they go David's son right there. 00:20:48.551 --> 00:20:50.383 This is a rap. 00:20:50.383 --> 00:20:52.267 They go back and they tell Joe app. 00:20:52.267 --> 00:20:54.353 Joe app says why did y'all kill homeboy? 00:20:54.353 --> 00:21:00.804 They said you heard what the king said. 00:21:00.804 --> 00:21:04.821 I heard what the king said if I kill him, you just gonna stand back and let him kill me, I'm out. 00:21:04.821 --> 00:21:07.647 Joe app said I'll do it myself. 00:21:07.647 --> 00:21:22.903 And he went to where Absalom was stuck and Stabbed him not once, not twice, three times. 00:21:22.943 --> 00:21:34.872 How many y'all know Joe app had an agenda and so, if you follow this story, david's family member, his son, was killed by the dude that he thought was his friend. 00:21:34.872 --> 00:21:48.928 Have you ever found out the hard way that's somebody that you in a relationship Wasn't your friend, that you put them in the wrong category? 00:21:48.928 --> 00:21:57.378 How many y'all know that when you choose to invest or to give access to the wrong parts of your life to the wrong people, that there are casualties? 00:21:57.378 --> 00:22:04.036 Things in your life die, people in your life get hurt. 00:22:04.036 --> 00:22:05.361 Single folks that's why it's amazing Folks. 00:22:05.361 --> 00:22:06.886 That's why it matters. 00:22:06.886 --> 00:22:11.425 Single mama, single papa's, that's why it matters. 00:22:11.826 --> 00:22:14.553 You can't just let everybody all up until you're being this. 00:22:14.553 --> 00:22:20.080 There's a sound off in the business for those of you are not eponically first. 00:22:20.080 --> 00:22:28.083 Um, you can't let everyone have equal access to all chambers Of your life. 00:22:28.083 --> 00:22:31.515 There will be casualties, there will be cost. 00:22:31.555 --> 00:22:35.903 So in the next few minutes, I Want to help. 00:22:35.903 --> 00:22:42.281 I'm going to take a little bit of time and we're going to talk about A couple of things. 00:22:42.281 --> 00:22:52.460 We're going to talk about how to identify the types of people that are currently in your life, and then we're going to talk about how to add in the type of people that you need in your life. 00:22:52.460 --> 00:22:53.324 Can that be helpful? 00:22:53.324 --> 00:22:55.184 They didn't teach us this in school. 00:22:55.184 --> 00:22:56.650 They just said be everybody's friend. 00:22:56.650 --> 00:23:03.490 But let me tell you you being everybody's friend is getting you beat up, busted, disgusted, rejected, you depressed. 00:23:03.490 --> 00:23:04.711 Why they don't like me like I like them? 00:23:04.711 --> 00:23:23.079 It's because when we try to Relate to somebody based on what we would love to have instead of what they really are, we set up a scenario for unfair expectations for all. 00:23:27.271 --> 00:23:27.933 Here's the big idea. 00:23:27.933 --> 00:23:32.107 God has a listen to me. 00:23:32.107 --> 00:23:39.259 It's hard to make the right choices with all the wrong friends, but god has a plan for every relationship we're in. 00:23:39.259 --> 00:23:52.950 Yes, it rhymes Hard to make the right choices with all the wrong friends, but god has a plan For every relationship that you're in. 00:23:52.950 --> 00:24:01.990 So I want to take a minute and I want to cruise through the types of relationships that we have in our lives. 00:24:01.990 --> 00:24:32.003 We're going to call those the three C's of relationships, and what this tool is designed to do is to help you to assess who's around you before you start Saying this is my friend, this is my enemy, this is this, this, and that I just want you to be familiar with the type of people you'll run into so that you can categorize your connections, so that you can make wise decisions about who's around you before you over commit to Relationships. 00:24:32.003 --> 00:24:33.430 Will that be helpful for anybody? 00:24:33.430 --> 00:24:36.310 Three types of relationships Can you put them on the screen, team? 00:24:38.883 --> 00:24:40.885 Three Relationship categories. 00:24:40.885 --> 00:24:41.931 We call them the three C's. 00:24:41.931 --> 00:24:44.803 First one is going to be Constituents. 00:24:44.803 --> 00:24:51.263 In fact, let's put this in the context of a Wakanda forever for some of the people that that I saw the movie. 00:24:51.263 --> 00:24:53.128 Can you put the screen up for the pictures? 00:24:53.128 --> 00:24:54.332 All right, here we go. 00:24:54.332 --> 00:24:57.028 So there are three categories. 00:24:57.028 --> 00:25:02.366 Okay, you have your constituents. 00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:08.846 Constituents are loyal To a purpose, a shared purpose. 00:25:08.846 --> 00:25:12.827 In other words, they are for what you are for. 00:25:12.827 --> 00:25:16.663 Say that for what I'm for. 00:25:16.663 --> 00:25:19.066 That's the basis of the relationship. 00:25:19.066 --> 00:25:22.404 That's how they met, that's how they met you. 00:25:22.404 --> 00:25:27.465 Y'all were at the same PTA thing and they said, hey, we need a whole bunch of cupcakes. 00:25:27.465 --> 00:25:33.948 And she was like I'll make some cupcakes and and you said, oh, we can't make all those cupcakes by ourselves, let's work together. 00:25:33.948 --> 00:25:37.779 And y'all started talking because of a shared purpose. 00:25:37.779 --> 00:25:44.742 Constituents Are loyal for a shared purpose, believe it or not. 00:25:44.742 --> 00:25:45.907 And Wakanda forever. 00:25:45.907 --> 00:25:58.347 Eric aka killmonger was an enemy in the first movie, but in the second movie he was all about protecting Wakanda. 00:25:58.347 --> 00:26:00.493 That was his whole purpose. 00:26:00.493 --> 00:26:02.548 He was like no, I got your back longest, that's what we're doing. 00:26:02.548 --> 00:26:05.926 Okay, everybody say constituent. 00:26:05.926 --> 00:26:10.901 And then you have your comrades. 00:26:10.901 --> 00:26:23.711 If anybody familiar with comrades, sometimes that's using a military context, and that is because our comrades are people who are loyal against a shared pain. 00:26:26.377 --> 00:26:34.317 The basis of your relationship is that y'all met in the context of coming against a shared pain. 00:26:34.317 --> 00:26:35.314 They fight. 00:26:35.314 --> 00:26:39.240 I'm going to put these up on the screen and say you are going to, we're fighting the same thing. 00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:53.626 You got a highway coming through your community and so y'all had a neighborhood meeting and you've been meeting for the last six months and every month y'all get together and y'all have a cup of coffee and y'all talk about how we're going to stop the highway. 00:26:53.626 --> 00:26:57.721 Y'all met in the con. 00:26:57.721 --> 00:26:58.684 This is going in, I can see it. 00:26:58.684 --> 00:26:59.127 I can see it. 00:26:59.127 --> 00:26:59.509 I can see it. 00:27:00.616 --> 00:27:09.798 Y'all met in the context of standing against something, no more or not more. 00:27:09.798 --> 00:27:13.589 For y'all who got bilingual family members. 00:27:13.589 --> 00:27:24.794 He wasn't for Wakanda, but he was against their common enemy. 00:27:24.794 --> 00:27:28.729 He was as long as we against this common enemy. 00:27:28.729 --> 00:27:31.663 We cool Outside of that. 00:27:31.663 --> 00:27:34.855 I'm for my people, you for your people, but we can fight them. 00:27:34.855 --> 00:27:39.038 It's based the relationship based on mutual dislike. 00:27:39.038 --> 00:27:40.887 Don't start thinking about your boss right now. 00:27:44.518 --> 00:27:51.075 If the basis of your relationship is on what you're against, you're dealing with a comrade. 00:27:51.075 --> 00:28:05.657 Notice I haven't said friend yet, because we're not talking about friendship, but some of us put friendship expectations on people because we have commonality in these areas and we wonder why we get our feelings hurt. 00:28:05.657 --> 00:28:06.709 I'm going to break it down in a second. 00:28:06.709 --> 00:28:09.586 And then, last but not least, we have our confidants. 00:28:09.586 --> 00:28:22.227 Confidants are the area where you should be able to risk trust Confidants and that was Queen Ramonda who was her mother. 00:28:22.227 --> 00:28:25.058 They just loyal to you. 00:28:25.058 --> 00:28:27.106 You could tell them anything. 00:28:28.554 --> 00:28:30.260 Dr Walker is one of my confidants. 00:28:30.260 --> 00:28:38.445 I could tell this dude anything and I have I can trust them my worst secret. 00:28:38.445 --> 00:28:39.892 Does that make sense? 00:28:39.892 --> 00:28:41.276 He just got my back. 00:28:41.276 --> 00:28:44.205 It didn't matter. 00:28:44.205 --> 00:28:48.790 He wants me to do well, he's going to have my back if I'm in the crack house. 00:28:48.790 --> 00:28:52.430 He'll still love me the same, won't you? 00:28:52.430 --> 00:28:54.118 Unconditional love. 00:28:54.118 --> 00:28:57.637 He'll have my back if I was in the White House, am I right? 00:28:57.637 --> 00:28:59.065 You're going to love me the same. 00:28:59.065 --> 00:29:03.090 He's going to talk to me different, but he's going to love me the same, right? 00:29:03.090 --> 00:29:09.412 If I was eating a pack of ramen noodles, walker would sit down with me and eat the noodles and he'd be like, oh, these are some good noodles. 00:29:09.412 --> 00:29:13.150 If I had steak money, he'd be like, oh, this is some good steak. 00:29:13.150 --> 00:29:17.651 He doesn't care, he just is going to roll with me. 00:29:18.113 --> 00:29:19.375 Some of us have some confidants. 00:29:19.375 --> 00:29:21.411 Not all of your confidants are going to be saved. 00:29:21.411 --> 00:29:23.229 Every one of us got that one. 00:29:23.229 --> 00:29:25.862 Friend, I'm sorry. 00:29:25.862 --> 00:29:26.826 What did they say to your child? 00:29:26.826 --> 00:29:28.349 What did they say to your child? 00:29:28.349 --> 00:29:37.824 And they are ready, in season and out of season, to get arrested on your behalf. 00:29:37.824 --> 00:29:38.826 Girl, I got you. 00:29:38.826 --> 00:29:42.477 You understand what I'm talking about. 00:29:42.477 --> 00:29:45.994 Everybody has one of those people that's just loyal to you. 00:29:45.994 --> 00:29:49.185 You could do something wrong and a confidant would say, yeah, he said it. 00:29:49.185 --> 00:29:54.027 Not what Right. 00:29:54.027 --> 00:29:56.319 Even if you were wrong, they just got you. 00:29:56.721 --> 00:30:03.295 So we got to be careful, saints, with our relationships that are confidants that are not yet Christians. 00:30:03.295 --> 00:30:06.548 We're talking about this this morning. 00:30:06.548 --> 00:30:12.096 We got to make sure that we're guiding some of our confidants into the kingdom. 00:30:12.096 --> 00:30:17.288 But if you're going to spill or risk trust, you need to do it in the area where the confidants are. 00:30:17.288 --> 00:30:22.569 So those are some different colors where you get to place your relationships in. 00:30:22.809 --> 00:30:34.118 So, now that we understand who we have around us, I'm going to ask you to take a look at your relationship circle and make assessments. 00:30:34.118 --> 00:30:41.038 I'm going to put it back up on the screen and, just a little bit, I'm going to put them both with you Once you make assessments. 00:30:41.038 --> 00:30:47.586 You're now in a position, after you know what you got, you can now take the next step. 00:30:47.586 --> 00:30:58.440 The next step is to add in the relationships you need, and I'm going to give you another tool for that. 00:30:58.440 --> 00:31:05.362 But let me give you a verse to support it First, thessalonians 5,. 00:31:05.362 --> 00:31:07.828 I'm going to go with verse 12. 00:31:07.828 --> 00:31:09.132 We'll go through 15. 00:31:10.615 --> 00:31:19.769 It says we ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord. 00:31:19.769 --> 00:31:20.593 Somebody say leaders. 00:31:20.593 --> 00:31:26.636 Let me read that whole verse so we don't get too excited who are over you in the Lord and admonish you? 00:31:26.636 --> 00:31:32.728 Let me go ahead and say this, since pastor ain't here If he can't correct you, he might not be your pastor. 00:31:32.728 --> 00:31:41.009 That's your pal and you're probably not benefiting from the full benefit of the covering. 00:31:41.009 --> 00:31:48.117 Listen, if your pastor can't adjust you and you not get offended, that's probably not your pastor, that's just your favorite. 00:31:48.117 --> 00:31:49.487 He like Tony Robbins or something. 00:31:49.487 --> 00:31:52.476 Okay, that's for free. 00:31:54.582 --> 00:32:03.750 So it says we ask you brothers to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you leadership and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. 00:32:03.750 --> 00:32:08.180 Then it says be at peace among yourselves lateral, you see it. 00:32:08.180 --> 00:32:11.880 And we urge you brothers to admonish the idol. 00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:17.571 That means you're looking around you and you're making assessment of relationships that you are in and you are relating to them a certain way. 00:32:17.571 --> 00:32:18.465 Admonish the idol. 00:32:18.465 --> 00:32:34.243 It says encourage the faint hearted and and help the weak People who you need to be leading, and be patient with them all and see that no one repays anyone for evil. 00:32:34.243 --> 00:32:35.945 Keep the peace, derek. 00:32:35.945 --> 00:32:37.068 Peace, derek Fritz. 00:32:37.068 --> 00:32:41.189 See that no one, everybody say we don't eat our own. 00:32:41.189 --> 00:32:44.990 No one repays anyone. 00:32:44.990 --> 00:32:51.762 We don't eat anybody else for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and everyone. 00:32:51.762 --> 00:32:52.085 Listen. 00:32:52.125 --> 00:32:54.451 So this gives us four purposes for relationships. 00:32:54.451 --> 00:32:55.512 Now the fourth one is free. 00:32:55.512 --> 00:32:57.192 I'm going to give it to you because I think you need it. 00:32:57.192 --> 00:32:57.616 Here we go. 00:32:57.616 --> 00:32:58.907 Would you go ahead and throw it up there? 00:32:58.907 --> 00:33:02.348 Dream team four kingdom purposes for relationships. 00:33:02.348 --> 00:33:05.084 I say kingdom purposes for relationships. 00:33:05.084 --> 00:33:06.711 So here are the four you ready. 00:33:06.711 --> 00:33:09.592 Four types of relationships you need in your life. 00:33:09.592 --> 00:33:13.633 So I gave you the first tool so that you can look around yourself and see who you who's around you. 00:33:13.633 --> 00:33:20.042 I'm giving you the second set of tools so you can add into your life the ones that you need to have around you. 00:33:20.064 --> 00:33:21.169 Are you understanding what I'm saying? 00:33:21.169 --> 00:33:29.368 All right, first relationship you need that we see in this scripture are people who pour into us. 00:33:29.368 --> 00:33:36.007 The only way somebody can pour into you is if you submit yourself and put yourself in a position to where you are under them. 00:33:36.007 --> 00:33:49.989 I'm going to let that soak in just for a second. 00:33:49.989 --> 00:33:57.007 The only way that someone can pour into you is if you place yourself in submission under. 00:33:57.007 --> 00:34:12.286 I've never seen a cup pour up and some of us wonder why we're empty, wonder why, when it comes to your relationships, your relationships are empty. 00:34:12.286 --> 00:34:15.806 Those are my marriage coaches right there Tony and Kelly. 00:34:15.806 --> 00:34:19.134 Okay, I want my marriage to be full. 00:34:19.134 --> 00:34:25.668 So I have somebody that if he say, hey, you tripping, I'm gonna say, okay, I'm tripping because I want my marriage to be full. 00:34:25.668 --> 00:34:31.626 There are other people that pour into your life that can lead in such a way that they help you to get your bank account right. 00:34:31.626 --> 00:34:39.914 That means you're gonna have to submit and let them see it or stay broke because they can't help you if you want. 00:34:39.914 --> 00:34:41.811 Are y'all hearing what I'm saying? 00:34:41.811 --> 00:34:44.949 So first relationship you gotta have is you gotta have somebody pour into you. 00:34:44.949 --> 00:34:48.557 Second relationship you gotta have is someone to peer into you. 00:34:48.557 --> 00:34:51.932 That's a side relationship. 00:34:51.932 --> 00:34:53.931 Proverbs 27, 17. 00:34:54.867 --> 00:34:58.876 As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another. 00:34:58.876 --> 00:35:00.592 You got to have somebody who keep you on your toes. 00:35:00.592 --> 00:35:02.068 Walker is that for me? 00:35:02.068 --> 00:35:05.492 If he tripping, I'll punch him in the jaw. 00:35:05.492 --> 00:35:07.168 If I'm tripping, he'll punch me in the jaw. 00:35:07.168 --> 00:35:08.514 That's what it is. 00:35:08.514 --> 00:35:10.309 And then we'll hug and get it together. 00:35:10.309 --> 00:35:17.398 He'll say, hey, larry, you know, I saw the way you was having a conversation with AJ. 00:35:17.398 --> 00:35:18.824 I didn't really like it. 00:35:18.824 --> 00:35:20.532 The way you was talking with your son, jeremiah. 00:35:20.532 --> 00:35:22.711 I'm not really feeling that. 00:35:22.711 --> 00:35:32.289 So this is what he looks into my life and I trust him to, and he levels me, keeps me on the level or moving up a level, and I do the same thing for him. 00:35:33.713 --> 00:35:36.925 You got to have somebody who appear into you, that you'll be vulnerable and let them look inside. 00:35:36.925 --> 00:35:38.652