The Professor in the Lime Green Kia

Riley is off to a coffee shop for a day of freelance remote work and Render is not excited about staying hidden in the GMC Safari. When Taiwan 1000 suddenly decides to run off, Render is torn between staying put or chasing after him.

Meanwhile, Riley has a run in with the occupant of a Lime Green Kia Soul!

Featuring the Vocal Talents of:
Jordan Trovillion as Riley Kate
Paul Kerford Wilson as Render
Neil Batra as Taiwan 1000!
Dave F'n Powell as Professor Bunion
Grayson Halonen as Server
Bridget Leak as Barista
Trey Tatum as Timothy's Dad
and Special Guest Tara Williams as Professor McDermott!

Written by Trey Tatum
Directed by Bridget Leak
Have Monster, Will Travel is a production of Queen City Flash out of Cincinnati, OH.
for more information, visit queencityflash.com

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From the Creators of Have Monster, Will Travel:

ZOiNKS! - Meet Nolan Blackwell, Teen Sleuth - Girl Detective, and her dog Casper. Nolan has a love of all things Nancy Drew and Encyclopedia Brown. Casper has a penchant for mischief.

But not all mysteries are hardbound and soon Nolan Blackwell will have to uncover clues and stare down dangers that threaten to reveal more about her past than she may be ready to confront.

Fans of Nancy Drew and Scooby Doo will delight in this hilarious, opioid-fueled dive into the world of latch-key children and the haunted, dangerous places that meddling leads.

CW - ZOiNKS! contains mature language and themes of addiction and neglect.

Transcript

Have Monster, Will Travel
Episode 12: The Professor in the Lime Green Kia

(RILEY, RENDER and TAIWAN in the 1996 GMC Safari.)

RENDER
But when will you be back?

RILEY
It’s gonna be a couple hours, babe.

RENDER
But like, in minutes …

RILEY
You want to know how long I’ll be gone in minutes?

TAIWAN
I could set a timer. And if you’re late, we would finally have the proof we need that you’re not a trust-worthy person.

RILEY
It’s called a work day for a reason. It’s gonna be most of the day.  I’ll bring you some lunch in a couple of hours.

RENDER
And I’m supposed to just sit here? 

RILEY
You know you are. 

RENDER
Couldn’t you drop us off somewhere? Somewhere on the edge of town. 

RILEY
Little hippie college town at the end of the semester? There won’t be a stream or hiking trail within twenty miles that’s not busting at the seams with people. 

RENDER
I could use my stealth skills. 

RILEY
Oh. You have stealth skills now.

RENDER
You don’t know. 

RILEY
I do. I do know.

RENDER
Riley, I’m like a World War I dogfighter - my true prowess doesn’t present itself until the pressure is on. 

RILEY
You have to stay in the van.

RENDER
I’m going to be so bored.

TAIWAN
Cool. Cool cool. 

RILEY
Render, I’m not going to a water park - I’m going to work.

RENDER
That job made you miserable.

RILEY
I know that.

RENDER
So let’s get out of here.

RILEY
I’m not going back to my old job. This is two or three days of freelance work on one project - and then a very nice payday, which honestly, we could use. 

RENDER
I’m going to be in here for three days!

RILEY
We’re in this van every day.

RENDER
Not like this. This is like a kennel.

TAIWAN
Pff. Humans. 

RILEY
You are not in a kennel.

RENDER
I’m being held against my will. 

RILEY
Ok, well yeah, a little bit that but - We need this money. And to get it, I need to be in a public place with wifi, which makes it hard enough to find a place to park this mondo suspicious van without drawing attention to you. 

It’s a pretty day, the windows are cracked, just lounge about and try to enjoy it. 

Besides, you’re not alone - you’ve got Taiwan 1000 with you.

(RENDER thinks this over.)

TAIWAN
Why the long pause?

RENDER
Sorry.

RILEY
And, if you’re good, after work I’ll bring you some ice cream.

RENDER
Riley, you can’t just bribe me when you want something. 

But if you were going to try it would need to come with fruit topping and sprinkles. 

RILEY
Deal.

And hey, can I show something that might help pass the time?

Taiwan 1000, can you open up … minesweeper?

(A TAP of the mouse and minesweeper is open.)

You’re gonna love this. 
RILEY (cont.)
On this board, there are ten landmines. And it’s your job to try to find them. You start by clicking any one of these little squares. 

(Click.)

Now you see the little numbers? That tells you how many mines there are that are touching that square. So now we just click again and - see? I died. 

TAIWAN
Ugh. Don’t tease me. 

RENDER
This seems like kind of a dumb game. 

RILEY
[utter shock:] Um. My friend. You will be shocked. Start playing this and before you know it, the day will be half way over. 

(RILEY opens up the Safari.)

Alright you two, I gotta go, but I’ll see you at lunch. Be good.

(RILEY leaves. Silence in the Safari for a moment, and then:) 

TAIWAN
Alright, I’m outta here. 

RENDER
What!

TAIWAN
Yeah, I’m not sticking around.

(The back door POPS open.)

RENDER
But Riley said - 

TAIWAN
She’s not my boss. 

RENDER
Where are you going?
TAIWAN
I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. See ya, dude!

(The door slams. RENDER is alone in the Safari. A moment, and then a firm determination:)

RENDER
[small but mighty:] Stealth Skills.

(RENDER pops open the back door.)

(THEME SONG.)

(A Coffee Shop. A BARISTA plops a cup down on a counter.)

BARISTA
Riley! 

Black tea, skim milk? 

RILEY
Yeah, thanks. 

(PROFESSOR McDERMOTT approaches RILEY.)

PROFESSOR
I’m sorry, did she say Riley?

RILEY
Yeah. Oh, did I grab your - 

PROFESSOR
No. I just heard the name and thought… Do you know Eric McDermott? Big D, two Ts. 

RILEY
Uh. Yeah. I’m sorry, who are you?

PROFESSOR
Oh, right, forgive me. I’m his mother. 

RILEY
… His mother.


PROFESSOR
But please, call me Dr. McDermott. I thought you couldn’t make it. 

RILEY
Couldn’t make it?

PROFESSOR
To lunch. Eric told me you were having a procedure today. A root canal?

RILEY
Oh, no, not me. I mean, sometimes it feels like it but … I’m here. 

PROFESSOR
Well this just makes my day. I’m so happy to finally meet you. 

RILEY
Well… Me too.

PROFESSOR
I kept asking him, “When am I going to get to meet this girlfriend of yours?”

(RILEY has no words for this. But there are lots of sounds.)

I was starting to think maybe he was just making you up.

RILEY
Oh, That does sound like him, doesn’t it? 

PROFESSOR
Where is Eric?

RILEY
I don’t know.

PROFESSOR
Oh, I thought maybe you two came together. 

RILEY
No. I came by myself. I was trying to get a little work done. 

PROFESSOR
Well that is wonderful. Congratulations. I know it can be hard to get back on your feet again.


RILEY
… It sure can.

PROFESSOR
I don’t mean to embarrass you. There’s no shame in being fired. 

RILEY
Did your son tell you that his girlfriend … that I … had been fired?

PROFESSOR
Did I say something that I shouldn’t have? I just thought you knew he had told me about your unemployment. Because of the whole car fiasco. 

RILEY
His car. I think I understad.

PROFESSOR
But we don’t have to talk about that. I’m sure you feel bad enough about the financial strain you’ve put us under without me bringing it up. This is not how I want us to start our relationship.

RILEY
Well, I didn’t want to meet you either. Like this, I mean. 

He’s meeting us here? 

PROFESSOR
I told him we were meeting here. Of course, you know my son. Twenty minutes late is on time for him. 

We should see where he is. Do you two share your location with each other.

RILEY
Like on a phone? No. We’re adults. 

PROFESSOR
I think I left my phone in the cup holder. I’m just parked right out front.

(PROFESSOR and RILEY exit the coffee shop.)

RILEY
Is that your lime green … 

PROFESSOR
Oh, but you recognize it, of course. Eric got his right after I got mine. 
PROFESSOR (cont.)
Well … it was my name on the car note but you understand. 

You know, for a compact SUV, the Kia Soul is surprisingly roomy. 

(PROFESSOR retrieves her phone.) 

Well, I don’t know, it says he’s on our block.

RILEY
Is that him, on the blue bicycle?

PROFESSOR
It must be. 

Eric!

The college just started this rideshare bike program and the students love it. 

(ERIC rides up on his bike. He speaks in his normal voice.)

ERIC
Mom!

PROFESSOR
You didn’t tell me Riley was able to make it.

RILEY
Hi, Hon. 

ERIC
[jumping back into his cryptozoologist voice:] Riley!

PROFESSOR
Son, please, enough with that voice. 

ERIC
Sorry, Mom. 

… Riley. What a surprise. 

RILEY
What a fun surprise for all of us. 

PROFESSOR
Eric, did you remember to lock the front door?

ERIC
Yes, Mom.

PROFESSOR
And you put the key back?

ERIC
Yes!

PROFESSOR
If he doesn’t put the key back, he loses it.

ERIC
Mom, that happened one time. And I was twelve years old.

PROFESSOR
Well, have you lost it since?

ERIC
[sign:] no. 

PROFESSOR
Now Riley, I hope you didn’t get a hotel room. You will be staying with us, won’t you?

RILEY
Oh, well, I - 

ERIC
Mom, I’m not going to ask my girlfriend to get a hotel room.

(And the sound of “girlfriend,” RILEY, perhaps, swallows a little piece of vomit.)

PROFESSOR
Well I wish I had known we were going to have a house guest.

ERIC
It was … a surprise. 

PROFESSOR / RILEY
It sure was!

PROFESSOR
Well, after lunch, you’re going to have to go home and strip the sheets of the bed in the guest room.

ERIC
You mean my bedroom.

PROFESSOR
Adult children do not have bedrooms in their parents’ homes. And you’ll need to move your things to the den.

ERIC
Are you kicking me to the couch?

PROFESSOR
I am not too old or too stupid to think that my handsome son isn’t having sex. But it’s my house, my rules.

[to RILEY:] One time, when he was in High School, I came home and caught him rolling around on the carpet, making out with one of the McAllister twins. I don’t know which one - the one who wouldn’t get her ears pierced. 

ERIC
Mom!

PROFESSOR
Son, I don’t care how old you are, it’s my house, my rules.

RILEY
I’m actually not staying the night. 

(This stops the bickering.)

I’m actually, just staying for the day.

PROFESSOR
Well of course. You’ll want to spend Mother’s Day with your own mom. 

It doesn’t matter to me that we’re celebrating early. I’m just glad we’re getting to spend the day together.

RILEY
… the whole day?

PROFESSOR
You know, I should go and check on our lunch reservation, make sure they can accommodate all three of us. 

Now, Eric, I don’t want to have a repeat of the scooter incident - you go find a station and check that bicycle back in. 

I’ll see you in ten minutes, don’t be late.

(PROFESSOR walks briskly away. RILEY whallops ERIC.)

RILEY
You told your Mom that we were dating!

ERIC
I didn’t know you were going to be here. You two were never supposed to meet.

RILEY
That does not give you permission to make me your girlfriend. Just knowing that in a fantasy somewhere I have to spend time with you makes me want to upchuck. 

ERIC
Look, I didn’t start out by just making you my girlfriend.

RILEY
No, first you had to make your way thru both of the McAllister twins.

ERIC
It’s just that Mom was asking a lot of questions and - 

RILEY
I’m sorry, I can’t listen to you like this. Can you go back to doing the silly voice.

ERIC
It’s not a silly voice!

RILEY
Do you have to turn everything into an argument? It is a silly voice and you need to acknowledge it. 

Oh my god it does sound like we’re dating. 

ERIC
I had to borrow money from Mom to pay for the rental after you two destroyed my car. 
RILEY
And you Mom asked why the rental wasn’t covered under her insurance policy. 

ERIC
Because the car was found in the middle of a swamp.

RILEY
What were you doing driving your car into a swamp, Eric?

ERIC
I wasn’t. My friend Riley was driving at the time. 

RILEY
Then why isn’t Riley’s insurance paying for it?

ERIC
Because Riley doesn’t have insurance. 

RILEY
Why doesn’t she have insurance, Eric?

ERIC
Because she’s between jobs right now.

RILEY
Who is this Riley, why have I never heard of her before.

ERIC
She’s a new friend.

RILEY
And why would you let a new friend who is an uninsured driver, borrow your car?

(building to a fever pitch:)

ERIC
Because she’s more than a friend, she’s my girlfriend. 

RILEY
When am I going to meet her.

ERIC
She’s having a root canal.

RILEY
Forever! A forever root canal?!

Do you see how easy and effortless these questions are? Why aren’t you a better liar.

WHY AREN’T YOU A BETTER LIAR!

ERIC
Look, I’m sorry, alright. Let’s just get thru this lunch.

RILEY
Oh, I am absolutely not eating lunch with the two of you.

ERIC
You have to! She’s updating the reservation!

RILEY
That is not my problem.

ERIC
You owe me!

RILEY
I owe you?

ERIC
You destroyed my phone, wrecked my car. 

[dropping the voice:] I don’t know if you’ve caught on, but my Mom doesn’t think I can do anything right. 

I am one big disappointment to her. 

I had water from the unmentionables. I had a sapling from Potter. I could have shown her either of those, coud have shown her that I am more than what she gives me credit for. But every time I get close to having something like that … here comes the two of you.

So yeah. I think you owe me.

RILEY
Well what am I getting in return, lover boy?

(RILEY swallows a little more vomit.)

ERIC
You ok?

RILEY
I thought that was going to be a good comeback, but it - it just hurt.

(Across town, a quiet little side street.)

RENDER
[hushed:] Taiwan 1000.

TAIWAN
Render - what are you doing!

RENDER
I’m trying to catch up to you.

TAIWAN
You can’t be out here.

RENDER
I can’t be out here! What about you?

TAIWAN
I’m a computer, people see me all the time. 

RENDER
Not weaving in and out of bushes and hopping across the street, they don’t. 

TAIWAN
Uh … have you seen the way humans litter. Trust me, I don’t stand out at all. 

RENDER
You have to come back to the van. 

TAIWAN
We can’t talk like this out in the open. Come on, down this little side street. 

(TAIWAN and RENDER move down a side street, into partial concealment.)

RENDER
Where are you going?


TAIWAN
That is none of your business. Why did you follow me?

RENDER
You just left.

TAIWAN
So?

RENDER
And I didn’t know where you were going.

TAIWAN
So!

RENDER
I was worried you might get into trouble. 

TAIWAN
And what were you going to do about it? You stand out more than I do.

RENDER
I don’t know - I was just worried about you.

TAIWAN
You found me in the middle of pilfering season. I have been breaking in and sneaking around people’s houses longer than you’ve been alive. 

RENDER
I just thought I could help. You know - if you need help, look for a Rubilee. 

TAIWAN
Render, it is not your job to fix my problems.

RENDER
What problems do you have?

TAIWAN
There’s a car coming. Quick! Into that dumpster.

(RENDER lifts the lid on a dumpster and grabs TAIWAN.)

No! I meant just you!

(RENDER and TAIWAN topple into the dumpster, screaming.)

TAIWAN (cont.)
Did you think I was going to live in the back of the Safari forever?

RENDER
I don’t know… Yes? Do you not like us?

TAIWAN
I like … you.

RENDER
You like both of us. Admit it.

TAIWAN
I like Riley maybe 11% - which is not enough to hang around forever. 

Render, I have my own life to live. And my own problems to sort out. And this town is better for me than a lot of places we’ve been lately. So … 

I’m getting off the ride. 

And you need to get back to the van. I know you trust Riley, but you don’t know humans the way that I do - and I promise, you cannot trust the rest of them. 

(RENDER takes a moment to think this thru.)

RENDER
No. We’re family. And if you’re in trouble - then I’m sticking around to help.

(a moment TAIWAN sighs.)

TAIWAN
Riley is not going to like this.

(The Restaurant.)

PROFESSOR
Riley, You are going to like this. Everything here is fantastic. 

RILEY
Great.


PROFESSOR
And today is my treat. I don’t want to hear any arguments.

ERIC
Aww, thanks mom.

PROFESSOR
Eric, get your hand out of the bread bowl. You’re going to spoil your lunch. 

RILEY
So, Dr. McDermott - you teach at the college?

PROFESSOR
I’m a part of the Classics department. A lot of my work is in myths and folktales from around the world. I’m actually preparing to go on sabbatical for a semester. 

ERIC
Mom teaches a class on monsters.

PROFESSOR
Well, that’s a pretty sophomoric way of describing it. I think Medusa might object to that label. But yes, in a sense, I am deeply interested in how our collective fears - of nature, or the unknown - manifest themselves into the myths that we create.

RILEY
It sounds fascinating.

PROFESSOR
Well I can tell you, it’s a lot more academic than Eric’s approach to the subject. 

ERIC
Mom!

PROFESSOR
I won’t bring it up. [to RILEY:] I’m sure you’ve had your fill of the subject.

RILEY
[to ERIC:] But you didn’t go to school here?

PROFESSOR
Oh! No. The course load here is a little … well, it’s a very rigorous school.

(A healthy amount of silence around the table.)

RILEY
I actually think it’s kind of interesting. You have that photo you showed me. 

PROFESSOR
The log! Oh, If I could redo that day. 

ERIC
It’s not a log, Mom.
PROFESSOR
He got a polaroid for Christmas and took a picture of a log floating in the lake behind the house. He came running up, his pajamas soaked, screaming of monsters and … well, I didn’t see the harm in letting him go on about his discovery. 

I mean, this is how myths start: our explanations for the unknown. 

Of course, now, I wish I had put an end to it. You see what it’s turned into.

ERIC
Mom, I’m right here. 

PROFESSOR
Well, you need to hear it. Maybe with Riley here you’ll actually listen.

(A WAITRESS approaches the table.)

WAITRESS
Are we ready to order?

ERIC
Can we get another bread basket?

PROFESSOR
You’re going to fill up on carbs. 

Riley, do you mind if I order for the table?

(Outside.)

TAIWAN
Quick! Into this dumpster. 

RENDER
There has got to be better places to hide.

TAIWAN
Before anyone sees us!

RENDER
Fine.

(RENDER and TAIWAN are in a new and exciting dumpster.)

Is this it?

TAIWAN
I think so.

RENDER
Where are we?

TAIWAN
It’s a thrift store, I think.

RENDER
Why are we here?

TAIWAN
I think this is my best option. 

RENDER
Best option for what?

TAIWAN
When you found me, I had been pilfering for over a month, sneaking into people’s houses, finding the right thing, getting it back out again. 

I don’t have that kind of time any more. This place is crawling with humans, that’s not great. But it might be my best chance.

RENDER
I don’t understand.

TAIWAN
I can’t tell you. Believe me, if I could tell anyone I would tell you. But it’s better for me if I don’t. Just know, this is where I have to be. You helped. Thank you.

RENDER
Taiwan 1000… Is this goodbye?

TAIWAN
Render. Friend. 

Yes. 

(A door to the THRIFT store blows open with a BANG! A DAD and TIMOTHY exit. TIMOTHY is banging something electronic against the sidewalk for the hell of it.)

DAD
Timothy! We just bought that. 

(WHACK!)

Uh-uh. I don’t want to see you do that again.

(SMACK!)

I don’t think this is funny. Timothy!

(THWACK!)

Do you want a time out? Do you want a time out? 

(CRACK!)

Timothy! Come here. 

TAIWAN
Oh man … 

RENDER
You alright?

TAIWAN
Render. Look at the way they treat everything. 

This is wrong. I made a mistake, I can’t be here.

RENDER
What do you want to do?

TAIWAN
We gotta get back to the van.
(The Restaurant.)

PROFESSOR
So Riley, Eric hasn’t told me much about your family.

RILEY
No?

PROFESSOR
I mean, he’s always kept to himself, but to hear him - you’d think he doesn’t know anything about you at all. 

RILEY
Eric!

ERIC
Oh. You know … when a relationship is new, you kinda keep it to yourself. 

RILEY
Well - I’ve got a younger sister. She still lives back home, with my Dad.

PROFESSOR
And your mom? 

RILEY
Uh. Passed. Unfortunately.

PROFESSOR
I’m sorry to hear that.

RILEY
Yeah … 

PROFESSOR
So this new job!

RILEY
Not really a new job. Just freelancing for the same company. A little spending cash, really.

PROFESSOR
The company that fired you now has you working freelance?

RILEY
Oh. I wasn’t fired. I quit.
PROFESSOR
Without another job lined up?

RILEY
It was time to go. It wasn’t going to turn into the career I wanted it to be.

PROFESSOR
Well I wouldn’t be tenure today if I just quit every job that wasn’t turning out the way I expected.

RILEY
Not really a tenure track at this job, I’m afraid. 

No - my boss had his doctorate in hiring young and burning out. 

PROFESSOR
I don’t understand. What are you doing now?

RILEY
Just traveling, mostly. 

PROFESSOR
And this freelance job is just a way to - 

RILEY
Just trying to keep the train on the track, ya know?

PROFESSOR
I think I do. 

(A moment, while PROFESSOR collects her thoughts.)

Allow me to play mom for a minute. 

RILEY
That’s okay.

PROFESSOR
No, I’m serious.

ERIC
Mom … 

PROFESSOR
I’m sorry but sometimes children still need to hear from their parents. 
PROFESSOR (cont.)
And believe me, this is not how I wanted today to go, but to be honest, none of this is what I would have wanted. 

[to RILEY:] I thought you were going to be a stabilizing force for Eric, help him find direction in his life, but I see now that you are just as rudderless as he is. 

RILEY
Actually, I don’t need to hear any of this from you.

PROFESSOR
I think you do. I think both of you need a wake up call. 

What would your mom think of the way your life is turning out.

ERIC
[with a new-found bravery!] Mom, that is enough!

You are not going to talk that way to the woman I love.

(RILEY swallows a little bit of vomit.)

I’m sorry, but it’s true. Riley and I are in love. And what’s more, Mom:

We. Are. Getting.

(RILEY clamps down on ERIC’S arm.)

RILEY
Ahead of ourselves! We are getting ahead of ourselves.

[to ERIC, thru gritted teeth:] You have got to be a better liar.

[to PROFESSOR:] Let me tell you something about my Mom. 

My Mom loved nothing more than watching someone discover their passion. And when she found out what your passions were, she did everything in her power to lift them up for you. 

Bedtime at my house took 90 minutes, because she wanted to hear us tell bedtime stories, and she would interrupt every 30 seconds asking us follow-up questions because there was nothing more interesting to her than the people she loved. 

She would be endlessly proud of who I am, and flummoxed that you could think otherwise.

RILEY
[re: ERIC:] This man has figured out what he’s passionate about, and he’s brave enough to chase no matter how ridiculous everyone else thinks he is.

ERIC
Not everyone else. Riley … 

RILEY
No, Eric. It is about time that you got something in this life that you wanted.

[Donning her best BUNION voice, pounding the table:] This man would like!

(POUND!)

Another!

(POUND!)

Bread Basket!

(Outside.)

TAIWAN
Render! We gotta go.

RENDER
The coast isn’t clear.

TAIWAN
No. We gotta go. Now.

RENDER
We’ll be seen.

TAIWAN
Render!

RENDER
What!

TAIWAN
Doesn’t that look like Riley?


RENDER
That does look like Riley.

TAIWAN
Doesn’t it look like she’s heading back towards the van.

RENDER
It does look like that.

TAIWAN
Render … 

RENDER
Right. 

Run for it!

TAIWAN
No!

[an urgent whisper:] Stealth for it.

(Running and grunting and sucking in our breath and crouching, peppered with:)

TAIWAN
Quick, the dumpster!

RENDER
Not another dumpster … 

(CLANG! And then more scurrying.)

TAIWAN
Hurry, into this drainage culvert.

RENDER
Blech.

(More scooting, shimmying, sprinting.)

TAIWAN
No, no, this way, thru this ditch.


RENDER
Riley’s gonna kill us.

(The Safari. RILEY opens the door and climbs in, fuming.)

But you know what. I also really like the work of Ashton Kutcher, so I think I’ll marry him too. 

TAIWAN
Oh, see, I had it the other way. I said: 

Kill Ashton Kutcher.

Kill Chevy Chase.

Kill Meryl Streep. 

RILEY
For the last time, that is not how you play that game. 

RENDER
Riley, you’re back.

TAIWAN
How was work?

RILEY
It. 

It wasn’t great.

RENDER
Riley, are you ok?

RILEY
No, Render, I’m … I’m fine. 

RENDER
Hey. What’s going on?

RILEY
Riley. I’m fine.

TAIWAN
Are you sure? Cause if you needed to talk … we’d listen.
RILEY
I just. 

Some days it’s just worse than others.

I just really miss her today, that’s all. 

RENDER
Oh. 

Riley - 

RILEY
Hey, pal. Do you mind if we just sit her for a little while.

RENDER
No. No, that’s fine.

(The Safari takes a deep breath. RILEY, RENDER and TAIWAN sit in silence. Beyond the Safari, birdsong, passing joggers, but inside … Still ness.)

RILEY
What is that smell?

(end of episode.)



CREDITS


TARA
Hi, this is Tara Williams. Have Monster, Will Travel features the vocal talents of Jordan Trovillion as Riley Kate, Paul Kerford Wilson as Render, Neil Batra as Taiwan 1000, Dave Powell as Eric Wayne McDermott, Jr.  -

DAVE
Don’t you hate it when moms use your full name? 

TARA
Grayson Halonen as Server, Bridget Leak  as Barista, Trey Tatum as Timothy’s Dad and me, Tara McAllister as Professor McDermott, Big D, two Ts. Today’s episode was written by Trey Tatum and directed by Bridget Leak. Have Monster, Will Travel is a production of Queen City Flash out of Cincinnati, Ohio 

More information, including transcripts can be found at QueenCityFlash.com

And as they say where he’s from: 

“Clara, we’re at a research facility in the middle of the Antarctic - what could possibly be out there?”