Shine Podcast with Shanna Star

How Embracing Flaws Builds Confidence, Better Teams, And A Business You Actually Love with Chantell Preston

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We trade perfection for progress and show how authenticity, boundaries, and financial literacy fuel real confidence. Chantell Preston shares hard-won lessons on negotiation, self-care, and redefining success by season, not by title.

• embracing imperfection as a leadership advantage
• identifying innate strengths versus learned skills
• building confidence through compliments and small wins
• integrating work and life with clear priorities
• self-care as scheduled recovery, not a reward
• saying no, protecting time, and using a gut check
• practical negotiation tactics and countering offers
• reframing failure as feedback and pivoting fast
• validating your offer by solving real problems
• financial literacy, pricing value, and wealth habits
• WIN method for season-based priorities
• success as peace, energy, and legacy

Find and follow Chantell

https://www.chantellpreston.com/

Are you ready to streamline your business and elevate your client experience? Right now you can get 30% off with my discount code: https://share.honeybook.com/shannastar

You can try Pic Time for free with my code and get an extra free month when you upgrade to a paid plan: head to the notes and click the link to start your beautiful galleries today

https://davistaphotography.pic-time.com/referral



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Keep Shining- Shanna Star

Shanna Star:

Hello to all of those fabulous people out there who shine, and welcome to the Shine Podcast with your host, Shauna Starr. So before we get into it, today I have a lovely guest, Chantelle Preston, and she just breathed so much life and speaking love and words over me after we got done recording. And I just am so thankful for these conversations and so glad that I get to share them with you. Um and the opportunity to meet women that I would not have had the opportunity to do so without this podcast. So thank you for listening and learning and all the things with me so that this can continue. So Chantel is a passionate advocate for authenticity. She encourages others, especially women in leadership, to embrace imperfection and lean into their natural strength, which is what we get to talk about today is imperfection, what that looks like, what we should be striving for instead, and leaning into the natur our natural strengths, and even learning what are our natural strengths that we have. She is also a seasoned healthcare executive with over 30 years of experience driving growth and transformation in the industry. She's the CEO of Preston Partners, and she leverages this experience to partner with organizations on strategic planning and leadership development. She is phenomenal. Cannot wait for you to listen to her. So let's get right to it. Welcome, Chantel, to the Shine Podcast. I'm so excited to have you. We've already got into some fun conversation, which we're not going to share with people, but I'm so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_01:

So thanks, Shauna. Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to our conversation today.

Shanna Star:

Me too. And I know we want to really dive into you uh speak a lot about women in leadership and embracing imperfection and leaning into those natural strengths. So I want to talk about that today and how people can maybe learn how to lean into natural strengths, what those actually are, and then how to utilize those. So I guess one of the first questions is sometimes we uh can't even distinguish what a learned skill is and an actual just talent is or your zone of geniuses. So how do you start operating from that genius zone and even maybe identify some of those skills versus talents?

SPEAKER_01:

You know, it's really interesting because I think as women, we we think that we have to behave in a certain manner because that's what we're told. That's what society tells us, you know, act like a man, be like a man. And so we have a tendency to really push down a lot of who we are innately within our personalities, you know, compassion, empathy. And like, I'll be the first one to say I was absolutely that person early on in my career. I was a little dictator, do as I say, not as I do, you know, very unrelatable, stand over there, don't talk to me. And I realized that that's not how I was able to capture or inspire people to want to be around me or work with me or work for me. And so I think it's really important for us as women to really figure out who do we want to be and how do we want to be seen by not just our friends and family, but our employees or the people we work with? And how can we utilize those traits with boundaries? Because everybody always comes back to me and says, well, what about there's always going to be a few that are going to take advantage of the situation? But how do we come across in a way that we want to inspire or be intentional and be direct? What do we want to be seen as as a leader from all aspects? And I think it's important for you to understand and figure that out for yourself before you go out into the world and try things out, if that makes sense, Shauna.

Shanna Star:

Yeah. And I know so many women we love and should surround ourselves with other strong, fabulous, encouraging women. So how can we as a friend support and help identify those talents and skills within our friends? Like how can we call those out or support those things in our friends and start helping them out and encouraging?

SPEAKER_01:

I think it's really important for us to compliment each other, to celebrate the small victories. I think sometimes we have a tendency to only celebrate the big victories in life. But as we all know, it's really those small incremental moments that make who we are. And sometimes life's just going so fast. I mean, keep in mind we're all dealing with our kids, our spouses, our jobs, everything. We don't stop long enough to say, you know what, dang it, that was awesome. Great job. And I think if we did that as women more, I think we would not only help build each other's confidence levels, but we would also start recognizing within our own self of the positive things that we're doing. And, you know, I have to say, you know, we we put so much on ourselves. Our to-do lists are 500, you know, if we don't get all of them done, we failed for the day. It's really about what's important right now. And what are those top three priorities? And if I get those top three done, I'm winning, right? The day is done, I won. And so everything on top of that is just gravy or it's just positive. And so I think it's also setting expectations and being a good friend of really pointing things out and being direct with our friends of, hey, are you putting too much on yourself? What are those top three things that you need to get done and helping realign of what's important for that individual right now, what versus what society tells you is important.

Shanna Star:

I really like what you said about the complimenting. It's I grew up where my mom is very like, she compliments people, strangers, things. So it was kind of a learned habit where if I saw something beautiful in a woman, I would tell them. And there's some other women who are like, that's strange. You're that's uncomfortable. I'm like, no, they need to hear it all the time. They need to hear it. But what it did also for me as a full-time photographer is as I'm complimenting women, it's things in other people that are sometimes things I didn't like about myself. Like there's a little, you know, we have that little mark on our leg where I'm like, oh, that's so sexy in women. And it's something I hated in myself until I started complimenting it. And then I was like, oh, I have that, which means I like that part of myself. And so I love that you said that. It kind of helps ourselves as well because we're seeing those things on someone else and then reflecting on it.

SPEAKER_01:

I I had a great experience recently where I sometimes I always wish people could see themselves through my eyes because I think we're our own worst critics in regards to um how we see ourselves, how we speak to ourselves. Um, I'm very intentional of how I speak to my daughters because I want to make sure that they have that positivity in their mindset versus when I grew up, you know, we were so hard on ourselves. And I think sometimes as we compliment others, it not just brings them joy, but it brings you joy. That's like giving gifts, you know. I I think we all love to, most of us love to give gifts. Why? Because you love the reaction from someone else. And so why can't we do that both in our personal and our professional lives? Why can we not pay a compliment? Let someone try something. Um, again, most of the stuff that I talk about in my professional life, I also utilize in my personal life. Why? Because they're really parallel with each other, right? And so if I'm going to be complimentary at work, um, you know, it's just the littlest things. And that goes back to being a good leader is how do I identify what's motivating to you? Because what's motivating to you may be different than someone else. So you just may need, hey, that was great. Congratulations. I love how you did that, versus a big pay raise. I mean, again, it's like your kids. You know what your kids like and what they don't like and what works with them. Why aren't we doing that in the workplace? And I think that that's something that we need to do as women because we're so damn good at it.

Shanna Star:

I agree. And I wrote a couple things down that sparked some things. And the first one was how business and personal are so parallel with one another and how they um overlap. And especially, I always think my business grows the most more quickly when I'm working on my personal battles, whatever that looks like. When I'm working on myself, when I'm working on those inner things, then my business tends to parallel that. So I think that's so important. And um I've seen that time and time again. I'm sure you have as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it used to be, oh, we got to find a balance. Well, let me just tell you, balance doesn't exist. Okay. I mean the first one to tell you doesn't exist. I've tried it for years, doesn't exist. So how do we integrate the two together? Right. And so it used to be leave it at the door. Well, guess what? It doesn't work that way. And as much as we want to think it does, we'd shove it down, but if that that ugly monster would, you know, poke its head up at some point. So, how do we integrate the two together? And I really learned this that a lot of again, the techniques I use at work, I use at home. Um, you know, I love to say run your home like a CEO. Why? Because everybody needs to contribute, everybody wants to feel important. You know, it's the same concept at home as it is at work. And so as long as we know that and we can manage that and integrate the two together, I just think life flows a little bit easier, especially in the rough times.

Shanna Star:

Yeah. I like what you said about that because it made me actually feel better in this because I do like a five task per day. Of course, we have the 500,000, like you said, afterward, but mine is always these are the things that need to get done today. If I have time and capacity, or life doesn't throw something at me today, then I can get a few more things done. And same with the household. I need to get this laundry done, this clean done, whatever. That's what needs to get done. The rest can wait. So I'm like, yes, thank you. Okay, doing that okay then. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

And do you do you do you make sure you add time for your own self-care in there as well? Because I think that that's another thing, too, is you know, we we get so caught up, we forget about ourselves. Well, the old adage, you know, put your own mask on first. If you're not feeding your soul, which it sounds like you are, then how can you be your best for everyone else? And I think that that's super important that my generation uh wasn't really good at that. We were we're too much in our own heads, and I want to change that narrative so we can get out of our heads and not, you know, not talk to ourselves the way we wouldn't talk to other people.

Shanna Star:

Right. And I totally agree with that. I wasn't always good at it. As most people, when we start businesses, it's like, yay, I want to have free time when I want to have it. But then when it came down to it, when I could take that free time, I would just keep working because I thought that was how I had to do it. So now I have gotten better, where it's like it's a beautiful day. I live in Florida. I'm going to take my lunch hour at the beach, and that's just how it's going to be. So, yes, I have gotten better at it. I've had to make myself at first until it became a habit for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

I think, you know, and as an entrepreneur, I think women entrepreneurs, we sometimes think, oh, well, working is my self-care. And we don't realize how important it is to maybe sometimes just take a reset. Um, one of the, you know, I'm the world's worst about saying yes to everything. So I had to give myself some actionable ways of not saying yes to things and then regretting it later. Um, same thing with my self-care is I schedule a meeting once a once a week with myself for an hour, and that's my time. And you're right, it may be I'm catching up on emails, and maybe I'm reading a book, and maybe I'm going for a walk, but we don't cancel meetings with other people. Why do we cancel meetings with ourselves? And we seem to always be the last thing on the list. Um, I think we take for granted a lot as to how important that time is, especially for entrepreneurs or someone that's building a business. We get hit so many things in a day. Sometimes you just need that refresh of, I don't want to do it. I want to go watch some trashy show for two hours. Why? I just need to give my brain a break. And I think that that's really important. And we need to continue to make sure women do that or they're going to get burnt out.

Shanna Star:

Yes. And something that popped up for me while you were saying that is going back to like that confidence as well is action breeds confidence. So when you do those things, that's how you become confident. It's like saying, Yes, I gave myself that task, I accomplished that, even if it's small, it's giving yourself those little wins and breeding more confidence.

SPEAKER_01:

Um that's like good, go back to your friend question, you know, how do we be better friends? How do we make sure we're surrounding ourselves with the right people? You know, we're also innate very loyal people, right? We keep our friends that have been our friends forever, even though they may not be in the same phase of life that we are in now. And so I do think it's really important to look at your relationships of I call it season and reason. You know, sometimes your friends from junior high aren't your same friends now because you just have zero in common, but you don't let them go because you've been friends forever.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But what are what value are they bringing to your life? And how are they supporting and helping you get to that next phase or what you want? Sometimes the closest people to you aren't the ones that really want you to be successful. And so you have to be very cognizant of that as you go down this journey, that you're staying focused, but you're also able to kind of get that noise out of your head if it's not in a positive. And so finding those like-minded people are so important, in my opinion, especially as you're growing a business, because they understand the trials and tribulations that you're going through. And a lot of people, unfortunately, just won't understand some of the things that you're going through.

Shanna Star:

Yeah. And that is a hard thing and a hard pill to swallow at first. There's been times where you have these great loving women and you invest in them and vice versa. And there's other relationships where you can see you're the only one pouring into it, which is fine once in a while. But sometimes you have to take a step back and just put some boundaries on some of those friendships and know you're not getting from them, which is fine in a season. I know we all have sometimes bigger needs, but if you're not both giving and both receiving, there's some boundaries to be had there for sure in friendships.

SPEAKER_01:

No doubt. And boundaries are so hard to set. I, you know, as I mentioned, I, you know, I'm like a shiny penny kind of person. Oh, that sounds great. Let me do it. Um, hence I was PTA, you know, room mom every year for my my oldest. And then I realized, what am I doing? Um, and so it's really about being intentional. And one of the things I love to tell people is the one thing, in my opinion, you won't get back is time. So how can I look at the time that I have and make sure I'm utilizing it to the fullest extent for the goals I'm trying to reach, whether it's personal or professional. Um if you, I bet anybody, any of your listeners right now could look at their calendar and be like, yeah, there's probably a few things on my on my calendar this week that I probably don't really need to do or I shouldn't do, or it doesn't help me reach my goals, but I'm doing it because somebody asked me to do it and I just said yes. I've had to really try to come up with tactical ways of saying no and not feeling guilty at the same time, because I think that's the other thing is, you know, when we say no, we feel guilty. I had to reframe it in my own mind that my me saying no, it's giving someone else an opportunity, someone that really wants that opportunity. So it's not that I'm it's a negative, it's just I'm protecting my energy and my availability, and I'm giving that opportunity to someone else. And so when people ask me to do things, I finally have gotten to where I don't say yes immediately. I say, let me check my calendar, let me check my schedule. And that gives me the opportunity to take a step back, take a breath, get home, and be like, oh my gosh, I don't have time to add one more thing to my plate. Um, and then you're doing them a service versus a disservice of showing up halfway versus being all in. And I think that that's really important as guarding that time that you have because we don't have a lot of excess time. I think we can all agree to that. Um, if we're not focusing on our professional, we're focusing on our family. And so there's just so many different dynamics. So I think it's really important to figure out what works for you in regards to how do you protect those boundaries.

Shanna Star:

Yeah. And I really like what you said about giving somebody else that opportunity to say yes. And it also made me uh uh feel that it also allows yourself to say yes to the right yeses, the right things. Um, so if you say no to the things that don't feel right, you don't, you can't show up with being intentional uh or have that capacity, then it allows the right yeses to be in your life as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Somebody told me once, if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no.

Shanna Star:

It's a hell no.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so it's like kind of like, okay, well, if it doesn't provide that positive energy right then and there, you know, and that's where, you know, we talk about women, you know, listen to your gut. Every time I've listened to my gut, I've never been wrong. When I went against my gut, ooh, I've had some wicked blow-ups. And so it's like, you know, I know that that's one of those innate things that we are so fortunate to have is that gut feeling. So utilize it. And I, you know, I had a high-powered CEO, good friend of mine last night, and I were talking, and she was asking me all these questions about hiring a new COO and all these things. And I said, Well, what's your gut telling you? And she stopped. She's like, Well, what do you mean? I go, Well, what's your gut telling you? She's like, My gut's telling me I made the wrong decision. I said, Well, then that's probably the case. And by the time we got off the phone, she said, You're exactly right. And so again, sometimes we need to make sure, and again, imposter syndrome, we all are like, oh my gosh, you know, am I qualified to be doing this? All these things that we put in our own heads. But if you really want that confidence and build that confidence, listen to yourself and sit in it sometimes to make sure, are you making the right decisions or are you not?

Shanna Star:

Yes. And I know sometimes when people are first, women especially are first learning to trust that gut, it can feel like the answer is out of being scared. And so it takes time to learn like, what is this discernment? Is this my gut or am I just scared about it? So I think it does take time. But once you learn to trust yourself and you have uh made decisions out of that gut reaction and realize, then you know you can continue to trust yourself and have confidence in those decisions.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like anything else, it's learning a skill. You know, that that's a skill we're learning is how do we trust ourselves, trust our gut. And to your point, it takes time to do that. But if we don't sit and really think about it or be intentional, sometimes we miss things because we we just aren't even paying attention to the things around us. And that goes to, you know, the networking, doing the things that really help us promote our business, you know, we think are futile or oh, we shouldn't be doing that. Don't talk to people, you know, don't take what I'm saying the wrong direction. It's also you never know what opportunities are out there until you really talk to people, network. And I think, you know, again, I keep going with women because I'm female and I can relate to this, is you know, start before you're ready. We are such perfectionists that everything has to be completely perfect before we're willing to jump off the cliff. Guess what? Most guys will jump off the cliff with just an idea, right? So let's just, you know, not everything doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be enough. And sometimes we are our own worst enemies of putting restrictions on ourselves that don't necessarily need to be there. And so, again, confidence, I tell people all the time, people are going to judge you in the first 10 seconds of meeting you. And usually it's not what you say, how you present yourself, how you come into the room. You know, again, women and friends, going back to that, help each other. Let's help each other gain that confidence level. So, you know, even if it's it's amazing to me when I love to look people in the eye and, you know, say hello when I'm walking down the street. It's amazing to me how people won't even look up anymore. You know, used to, I mean, pre-COVID, you know, everybody was pretty friendly. Now it's like everybody's angry. Get that back. Let's help support each other. You don't know that hello could make that individual's day. And give them that that little bit of confidence they need to walk in that board meeting and kick ass and take names. So you just never know.

Shanna Star:

And then on the other side, I've had a few friends of mine who I've had to get after because when I do compliment them, one of our tendencies as women is to be like, oh no, you know, minimize the dress. Oh, it's ugly. Oh, I love your hair. Oh, it's terrible today. I didn't wash it. And so something that I've had to tell a few of my friends is hey, a compliment is a gift. So when you deny it, Like denying a gift that I'm giving you. And so a few of my friends are like, You're right. I need to be better at that. And so on that opposite way of please compliment women when it feels real and you love something about them or you notice. But on the other end, be willing to just accept those compliments and accept those gifts too. Because we don't always do a good job of that if we're not working on that for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, you just made a great point. I'm writing it down myself because you're right. It's a gift and say thank you. And we all have, oh, you know, we're good. But that's why we're we're minimizing our own value. And one of the greatest things that one of my mentors gave me, she said, Don't ever discount your value. Because once you start doing it, everyone else will. And it was a really critical time in my career where I had gone out on my own. I was still in my late 20s. I was building healthcare facilities. Um, and I had a client, you know, I'm like everyone else, you know, you eat what you kill. And so I had this client and I really wanted to do this project. And she's like, I can't afford you. And I was so torn because I wanted to do this project. I wanted to be involved, you know, help my resume. And talking to my mentor, and she's like, Don't do it. Don't do it. So I called this client back. I said, Hey, look, I'm, you know, she's like, Oh, great, you're gonna do it. And I was like, No, I'm not. I'm so sorry, but I'm happy to help you find someone else. Fascinating to me. Immediately she found the money and we did the project. So again, it was such a great, you know, I was young, I was naive. I, you know, I thought, oh, hey, they're willing to pay me something. So that's great, right? Well, I held my ground and that was really a very pivotal time for me of saying, hey, look, if I'm gonna discount, so will everyone else. And I think that really helped push me over the edge of, you know, that confidence level that I needed to continue to soar throughout my career.

Shanna Star:

Yeah, I think that's so important too, because it's one of the hottest, most difficult topics, uh, again, especially for women, is pricing, their services, packages, whatever that looks like, because we so often want to give deals to everybody and there's a time and place, and that's up to that owner, of course. But it's it's difficult when we hear the no. But I have found that if it's a no, um, it's either not for now or they're not meant to be my client, which is either one is totally fine. And I agree. Like, if they come to me and I'm like, oh, like I can't afford you, I'm like, that's okay. I do offer this, you can pay it this way. And if not, that's okay too. And maybe we can work together in the future. And it's it's hard to do because you're like, but now I'm not getting paid anything. So I think that was important to say too.

SPEAKER_01:

But but remember, I bet some of those clients that you would turn down were probably going to be the biggest headaches that you had. Absolutely, you know, we have to look at, you know, again, time, where is that opportunity cost by having to deal with a let's just say maybe a high, high belief maintenance, high maintenance uh client. So sometimes those no's are a gift, as you've mentioned earlier, because those are the ones that would have drained our energy, our creativity in every aspect. So again, I'm a big believer in life. Everything happens for a reason, even though sometimes we don't know why. Um, you know, the universe sometimes brings things to the table that sometimes you don't know the timing or the reasoning. Just go with it. Um, and I think that that's something, but you know, Shauna, I've seen high-powered CEO women that I had a friend of mine, she loves it when I tell this story, sold a business,$500 million, you know, was going on to her next opportunity. We were on the golf course. She said, Oh, they made me an offer. And I was like, Great, what did you, what did you counter? And she's like, Oh, I didn't. I was like, Wait, what do you mean you didn't counter? She's like, Well, I thought it was fair. And I was just so perplexed because here this high-powered CEO, and she was having her own imposter syndrome moment. And I was like, Well, you know, every male would have countered. And frankly, they were probably expecting you to counter. So you left money on the table. And so I think it's so important to a get okay with no. Okay. My other thing is, is, you know, most things we don't get in life because we don't ask. But what's the worst that could happen? They say no. Okay, move on. But at least you don't live with that. Well, I wish I would have or should have. I'd done X, Y, and Z. And so it's really getting comfortable with the no's, but also again, why not? I mean, that's been my theory in life.

Shanna Star:

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SPEAKER_01:

It's your baby, it's still your baby, yes, of course.

Shanna Star:

But it almost becomes if you get comfortable with being uncomfortable and hearing no's and no, it's not against you, then it can almost be started to I've gamified it, which might sound ridiculous, but it's like, okay, if I send 10 emails out, what is the percentage that I'm gonna hear a yes for this versus a no? And it almost becomes fun, might be a stretch, but it's it's a way to look at it differently that the data matters. So that means I'll hear a yes one in 10 or one in 20, whatever that looks like. And so it's almost good to hear those no's because all of it is just data and and knowing how to use that in the future. But hearing the first no's definitely hurt the heart and the ego a little bit.

SPEAKER_01:

For for sure. And that's it, that's just like negotiating. I mean, think about it. We negotiate all day, every day, especially if you have children. I mean, I talk about, you know, trying to put my eight-year-old to bed. It's like, you know, that's more negotiating than it is in a boardroom most of the time. But it's like if we get okay with negotiating, and that means running the emotions through, you know, what are we trying to achieve? I want to achieve X, Y, and Z. What do you think they're trying to achieve? And figuring out, I think we've become a society that's like you either win or lose. I'm from the mindset of abundance where we can all win if we know what each other needs out of the situation. And so it's like also when I go into a really tough negotiation, I have thought through all my emotions, right? So I've gone ran through the emotions already. So when I get in that room, now I'm prepared and I'm able to have those conversations without the emotions, you know, peaking their ugly head. And so it's like I can now go back to what do I need? What do they need? How can I meet in the middle so everybody wins? And I think that that's important for us, you know, as we go through our journeys, especially as entrepreneurs, is it's not necessarily a win or lose. It's what can I achieve out of this and what am I willing to give up to get what I want? And so those are some of the tactics that I've always, you know, utilized throughout my career that have been very beneficial.

Shanna Star:

And something else you talk about, it just popped up the word of like perfection. And I know so many people struggle with this. I have flaws, lots of them, but I actually do not struggle with perfection. I think Brene Brown says that she's a recovering good enoughist. Um and I am a good enoughist, which is crazy because I have to be very detail-oriented, like a lot of people in business. But uh speaking of imperfection is it's hard to deal with because you don't want to put it out there. You don't want to start, you want it to be perfect before you do, and unfortunately, it's never gonna be perfect. So, can we talk about perfectionism and is it ever a strength or is it always a barrier and kind of what that looks like?

SPEAKER_01:

Look, I don't think perfectionism exists. I don't think anyone's perfect, I don't think any situation is ever perfect. If you look over my last 30-some years of business, where I thought I was gonna be and where I ended up were two totally different places. And so to me, almost trying to be perfect is almost putting guardrails around something that you don't want guardrails around. Because you may miss an opportunity because you're so focused. If, you know, I go back to my TED talk, you can hear my whole life story, but you know, I was when I grew up, I was I was raised that money and title was success equaled success, right? So that's all I ever wanted was a money and title, money and title. And I was so focused on that. The outcome, I didn't enjoy the journey. And I probably missed out on a lot of opportunities throughout the journey that could have been very beneficial for me personally, professionally, emotionally, all those things because it was all about the outcome.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

When I got the outcome and I went, oh my God, this is it. Now what? Went through my identity crisis, sold my business, all those things, then you become more of, wait a minute, there's gotta be more to this. What's the purpose? What provides me energy? I love to work. I've never worked a day in my life because I always say I've loved every day of it, no matter what I'm doing. But a lot of what I did was not where I thought I was going. It was where I ended up.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And if we don't take those blinders off and say, okay, perfection, I gotta have it this way and only this way, I think we're gonna miss out on a lot of really good opportunities.

Shanna Star:

I think that was a really beautiful way to say that. And I completely agree because I am nowhere that I thought I would be, and it's better than I anticipated. Um, but there was some heartache to get there for sure, just like I'm sure everyone else deals with. But if I was not open to some of those things, I would have been closed off. I wouldn't have been here physically in this state, uh, and and is happy. And I think that's that's wonderful to be able to say as well.

SPEAKER_01:

So can you I do, and I'll I'll throw something in there about that. I somewhere in society we went from failing to your failure. And and I don't agree with that. You know, to me, look, I was not successful at everything I did in life, right? But I'll tell you, the lessons I learned from the things I didn't do well or I failed at were such invaluable lessons that got me to that next success. So I would be careful when people say, Oh, I don't want to fail. Well, why not? It's not failure if you're learning a lesson on how can you improve the things that you want to do to reach your goals. So I want people to start thinking, stop thinking about, oh, failures, I'm a failure. No, I feel like if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough, right? It's what did I learn from that that I can improve upon or change or pivot to reach the goals that I want. I had one company a long time ago, and we had a radiation oncology company. Well, what we started was an MRI uterine fibroid company. When we went in to pitch to these physicians, we didn't even know what linear accelerators were, radiation oncology. They said, we want this. And we said, you know what? We'll give it to you. We walked up and we're like, does anybody even know what they're talking about? And it means it was kind of humorous. We did end up growing the company and selling it, but it was kind of humorous because it was like what we thought we were gonna be and what we ended up were two completely different things. And if we weren't open enough to listen to what do they need, then we may not have pivoted. So it goes back to that fundamental what's the problem you're trying to solve? And is your product really gonna solve it? Or do you need to really evaluate and relook at it as to what do I need to do to solve the problem? And I think entrepreneurs sometimes forget that because we just think, oh, we've got such a great product, everybody's gonna love it. Doesn't matter what it is, it's because it's great. But hold on. Is there people going to buy it? Who's gonna pay for it? And is it really solving the problem? And I think that again, we need to hone in on that as entrepreneurs to make sure that we're solving a problem.

Shanna Star:

Yes, yeah, because that's the the basis of it and why we start a business in the first place, even though we don't always think that's the why. That is why. So that's right.

SPEAKER_01:

And you may realize, oh my gosh, mine doesn't solve the problem, but this does. Great. Well, pivot and go after that. So I mean, and not everybody's gonna utilize the same solution to a problem. So there's so many things that we got to look at. And I know it sounds overwhelming, and that's why I say, you know, jump before you're ready. You know, entrepreneurs always say, well, when do I start? Start now. You know, start talking to people. You know, people want to help other people. And so, but they don't know how to help you unless you know what to ask. And I think that's my biggest issue with a lot of women is we don't know how to ask. I was never taught how to ask. I was never taught how to ask for money. I was never taught how to, I just wasn't, you know, don't worry, somebody will take care of you. How do we ask? And I started doing a lot of stuff with my my friends here in Houston of putting them all together and saying, okay, guys, we're not gonna talk about our kids, we're not gonna talk about our spouses, we're gonna talk about our businesses and we're gonna talk about how we can help each other. Because at the end of the day, if we don't start helping each other, we're not gonna gain the success that we want. And so instead of the old school mentality of there's only a few spots at the top for women, let's go ahead and open the door and there's an abundance and let's bring everybody together and bring everybody up with us.

Shanna Star:

Yeah, I so appreciate what you said that we don't many of us weren't taught how to ask and we don't know how to ask. And I've seen that even watching my husband, like he's like, I'm gonna go ask for my raise. And I was like, easy. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think, I mean, I wasn't in the huge corporate world. I mostly had my business and I worked here and there, but it was like, how dare you? I mean, I'm so proud when he does it. And I'm like, oh yeah, I need to be asking my own questions for me to be making more money and for me to be asking for more. Um, but just seeing it is like, why have I not done that? Why was I not taught that that's okay? And but that is a learned skill in itself, is how to ask for more. And the only way we're gonna do that is like you said, surrounding yourself with women who have learned that and can teach you and give you some some confidence boosting and maybe some encouragement to ask for more.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, challenging. I I always say that the greatest gift I can give my girls, I have three daughters, is teaching them things like that. Because, like if they want to go out into the world, um, how do they ask for money? You know, we our kids all do these, you know, fundraisers. I'm not doing it for you. You need to do it and let me help teach you some skills to be able to do that. But how do we change that narrative for the next generations to make sure they do know what's the call to action? And they don't feel guilty for asking people for help. I mean, I still have trouble sometimes, you know, asking my friends for help. And I'm like, wait, you know, they would love to help me, but it's like that innate thing that we're like, oh, if we are asking for help, we're weak. And that's not the case. And that's what I thought early on in my career versus where I am now. I want to be the dumbest person in the room. I want to surround myself with super smart people because I can learn from them. And I realize that nobody makes it to the top alone.

Shanna Star:

So going back, I know you've touched a little bit about your story and what got you here. Will you go into a little bit more depth with that as well and how you got to where you are?

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. So I, you know, I grew up in a, as I mentioned, you know, a family that, you know, was all about success, was about money and title. Um, you know, what went on between the four walls of the home versus what we look like on the outside were two totally different things. Um, and my my mother ended up leaving my dad and she ended up with nothing. You know, she worked for my dad. She was completely dependent on him. And so I, at that moment, I realized I didn't want to be financially dependent on anyone. I wanted to figure out my career, I wanted to pursue, I wanted that success and title, just like every like my dad had. And so again, blinders on, I'm headed for it. Got into healthcare, didn't know anything about it straight out of college, but realized if I found a niche for myself, then I would be self-sufficient for the majority of my life, which is what I felt. So I started building healthcare facilities. I found a niche. There was uh three guys that were hired at the exact same time I was. They all sat behind their desk. I was like, no, no, I want to get out and learn everything I possibly can. And I did. And I never had to look for a job. I was always recruited. I went out on my own at 27. I ended up starting a business called Mentus Neuro Rehabilitation with my business partner. Thought I needed a man at that point. I was in my early 30s. And we started a brain injury rehab company. And it was absolutely amazing. Not only did I get to live out my dreams and my purpose of helping people, but we got to build great teams. We got to see great outcomes with people at the worst times of their lives. And we build a business and we sold a private equity in 2015. And then that was when it all the wheels started coming off the bus. Because now it's like, well, now what? Right. And here I'd been so focused on my career. Kind of there was a lot of waves behind me. And I had a five-year-old daughter. I had no idea what she ate for lunch because I was never home, because I was too busy working. And my whole life blew up. And I went through an identity crisis. But when we were selling the company, I'm like, where are all the women? Right. I mean, I was the only one at the table. They all thought I was the secretary. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm the brains. Um, it was a really interesting time. So the last 10 years I've really spent around how can I help, as we've talked about, change the narrative of helping other women elevate and empower them, whether it's through investing, whether it's through mentoring, whether it's I own advanced studio in Houston and I get to change the narrative with all these kids. I want to, I want to see that confidence come out of them instead of looking at the floor. How do you look up? Shoulders back, look me in the eye. And so there's just a lot of things that I want to do in my life around women and my daughters, so they know that they can do anything in life. And I still own my healthcare businesses, I still own hospitals. I um just recently might have uh purchased a women's uh professional sports team because I wanted to show, look, put your money where your mouth is, right? Um, and so how can I continue to give back uh and help as many people as I possibly can? And so, you know, I still work for private equity, I still in the healthcare market, um, I still love it. Um, we all have to have something to do, but I also spend a lot of time with my kids and making sure that, again, I'm a good role model and a good positive. I'm not a quantity parent, I'm a quality parent. I'm not around all the time, but I am emotionally available when I am around. And I think that's super important because we think we have to be there for the practices. And I'm not the one gonna drive you to practice. I don't want to sit there for two hours and do nothing. But when I am with them, it's that quality and I'm emotionally uh available and engaged with them.

Shanna Star:

Yeah. And I think that's something I don't have kids, but as a daughter, like watching my mom, that's when I learned to respect and love her differently, is when I saw her doing things for herself. Because although I said recently, I appreciated when it was all about me when you're little and it life was just about me. Uh and but when I got a little older, she finally started doing more things for herself. And that's when I really looked at her like, she is an incredible woman. Those are the things I want to do for myself, those are important. She's not just a mom. Um moming is great and important, and if that's your full time job, that's great too. But just watching her do little workouts or read for herself, just little things was huge for me to see.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. And I hope every female hears what you just said because I think we put so much pressure on ourselves that we have to be there for our kids. What you just said gives me hope that what I'm doing will have a very positive impact on my daughters. And there was a time recently where they're like, why are you doing this? Why are you having to leave? Why are you traveling? And a friend of mine just is like, well, why don't you just sit down and tell them? And I was like, Oh, that's novel concept, right? Common sense. So I sat down, like, oh, what are you thinking about that? And so I sat down and I said, Hey, this is why I'm doing this because it gives me a purpose. And I need a purpose in life. And I want you guys to know that you can accomplish anything and there's nothing standing in your way. Sean, that it was like a light switch with these kids. And now it's like when I leave it, like, oh, are you going to go help so and so? Are you going to go do this? It gives them the opportunity to be a part of it and to see. And to your point, I'm hoping that they're seeing, hey, look, look, look, there are days we don't want to go to school, we don't want to go to work, but I want them to know that it's okay to love to work. And it's okay that you've got 9,000 things going on. It's how you deal with those things and you know, prioritizing it's all those skills that I want them to have as adults. They're getting to see. And look, I have my bad days. Um, and I want them to see that too. You know, I want them to see the frustration. You know, um, I lost my mother a couple of years ago unexpectedly. And I mean, there was a whole different game there of emotions. And everybody's like, well, you know, I wanted my kids to know it's okay to have emotions. It's okay to have emotions in business, it's okay to have emotions at home. It means you care. And those are the things that I hope my kids get out of it.

Shanna Star:

Yeah, I it keeps popping up so many things for me. And one thing was thinking about how you're constantly trying new things and constantly putting yourselves in uncomfortable situations until you're comfortable with it, or you pivot and realize that's not for you. And I think for many women, it's finances. And, you know, talking back to if you're a man, if you're married to a man and he handles the finances and he's good at it, okay. But you know, two heads are better than one. When I got a divorce, uh, he handled all the money. He was good at it. I'm not disregarding that. But I learned that I actually was really good at it and I really enjoy it too. I just had never put myself in the position to have to care. And so I think it's so important that we put ourselves in positions, even for a little while, to have to learn some of those skills because we don't know if maybe it's just a talent, like we had talked about earlier, and we're really good at it and it could be better. Or if we're like, nope, you can handle most of it, we'll still pivot away from that as well.

SPEAKER_01:

And you you hit a nerve with me on the financial literacy side of things because I think that's so important. And so many of my friends are getting divorced and they have no idea where their money is.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so I, you know, was absolutely flabbergasted when I got, you know, I do a lot of investing and I want women to learn how to build wealth. Well, there's different asset classes, there's different ways. I read an article the other day that, you know, society teaches boys how to be CEOs and teaches girls how to be wives. Yeah, I want that to be done. Women need to have the same financial literacy as men. It all comes down to confidence level. It comes down to asking the right question. And one of my big drives is teaching as many women as I can about financial literacy. I have nothing to sell you. I'm not a broker. I don't have it. I just want you to enjoy and build wealth on the things that you want to see in the world because we make 80% of the decisions. And I do think that it's important for us to continue to have safe spaces for women to ask the questions that they they want to ask because a lot of them just don't even know what to ask. And I've learned that, and these are 50, 60 year old women, have no idea where their money is. And so I do think it's very important to be incredibly involved and to learn those aspects, not only for you, but for your kids, it's it's a great thing to show for your kids to learn that at a very early age. Cause just like you, I was never taught those things.

Shanna Star:

Right. Yeah. And there's so many things that now I'm like, oh, I'm good at this. Oh, I love doing this. And when I first got divorced, I'm like, I don't even know how to set up a Roth IRA and I don't know how to put it in the market. And there's things where those questions, when you're talking or speaking to somebody who has a lot of knowledge, you feel dumb. So having that community, like you said, is like, thank you. Cause I want to ask all the dumb questions until I feel I know more than the basics, until I feel like a master in it. And there should be more of those. Luckily, I've had a few people around me where I could ask the what I thought were dumb questions until I understood it. Um, but it is so important.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, for sure. And and that's one of the programs I'm setting up on the backside is that financial literacy because I do think it's so important to be able to have that conversation. I started speaking to collegiate and high school girls about, you know, how do they look at things? How do they build wealth? And again, it's all about choices in life. You know, you can choose to carry that hermaise back or you can choose to invest. It's up to you what's your long-term goals. Um, and so it's just important to take that. And people think you have to have a lot of money to make money. That's not the case. It's just you have to be smart with what you're doing. And we need more education on that for sure.

Shanna Star:

Absolutely. Yeah, I did not do a good job when I first moved here and was divorced. I had no balance, it was all work. However, it has paid off because I have some savings and some other things that I built because I was like zero fun for a couple of years. And it was not a fun time, but I have learned I didn't need a lot of money to be putting in there for it to be compound, compounding. And it's been wonderful. So I completely agree.

SPEAKER_01:

And you talked about something there, real quick about, you know, what's important now. Everything has a season and a reason. And so, you know, we we have a tendency to look at everything. What do you want to be in five years? Well, look, who knows what's gonna happen in six months, right? So there are times in my life that to your point, I could all in work, and then there's times where I'm like, well, you know, I only have three years left with my daughter before she goes to college. So I'm gonna really spend a lot of time here at home. So I think it's really important as you're looking at your goals, looking at the season that you're in in your life and what's important now, the win, the win strategy, what's important now? You know, sometimes things maybe have to go on the back burner for a few months because it's not the right timing. I think it's important for us to keep those things into consideration. It's not a failure, it's just just not right now.

Shanna Star:

Yeah. I want to go back to the imperfection just for a second, too, is because so many people are like, okay, well, I've struggled with this. I can't move forward, I'm stuck. Is there some exercise or technique or something we can be telling ourselves to be practicing? Practicing being imperfect in a low-stakes environment to put ourselves out there a little bit more without it being too scary the first time. Is there anything you would suggest to people to practice?

SPEAKER_01:

I think what what I would suggest to people is what would your expectations be for someone else? Because we hold ourselves to such a high standard, but we'll allow other people to be just good enough, right? So if you were someone else from the outside looking in, is it good enough? I agree. And I I think it sometimes we we look back and we go, well, you know what, you're right, I'd accept this from someone else. Why am I not accepting it from myself?

Shanna Star:

Absolutely. And if we're not striving for for for perfection, which again, I I totally agree with, what should we be striving for within ourselves and moving forward so it's not just I feel like we're settling? What can we strive for?

SPEAKER_01:

I think what brings you peace, what energizes you, what what do you want at the end of the day? I'm a big one about legacy and who do you want to be known for? And so I think as long as you determine that and don't let society determine that, determine what success means to you right now in the season you're in. And I think again, we inherit a lot of traits and personalities from our childhood, we from society, from our friends, from everyone. And then we get older and we go, oh my God, I don't believe in any of that, right? Because we never stop to think about it. What does success look for look for me right now? Looks very different than what it was five years ago. So I think it's really sitting down and being honest and direct with yourself as to what does success mean to you right now, six months from now, maybe two years from now. And I guarantee when you go back and look at that piece of paper that you're gonna write that on, it may change. And so it's like continuing to have that conversation with yourself. It's okay to pivot. It's okay to put something on the back burner if it's not the right time and place. So I think we need to do that and we need to we need to reevaluate those things on a more often basis.

Shanna Star:

I think that's great because I feel like a lot of women would go, oh, well, if I am not believing what I thought success was before, or I have to pivot, it is a fail. And it's not. It just means you've learned something, you've changed, you've pivoted, whatever that looks like. So that's so so important.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, absolutely. And again, give yourself some self-compassion for God's sakes. We all live in this crazy world of, you know, who, whose idea was it to us to have to juggle 5,000 things, right? We're putting a lot of that on ourselves because that's what we know. But sometimes taking that step back and saying, hey, you know what, maybe I don't need to have it all together and all the time, and my house has to be perfect. That wasn't our rules. Define your own rules and how you want to live your life.

Shanna Star:

That's such a hard thing because I know again, how we grew up is our value sometimes is in the amount of things that we do. If we're not busy, it's almost like, look at me, I'm so busy because it's important or because I have more value. And that's not the case. You know, we talked about getting those tasks that need to be done and then go be intentional with that time.

SPEAKER_01:

So well, wait, wait till you hit about 50, 60 and you're going, why did I waste all my time doing that stuff? Um, and so so again, I'll save all you guys from a lot of hassle and headache later, okay? Just figure it out now. Um, but and I think that that does what happened. That's where, you know, midlife. Look, I also look at midlife as it's like the second phase of life. I'm just getting started. So what do I want to do now? It's never too late. You just have to know where you want to be.

Shanna Star:

I love that. So my mom is mostly retired, she's living a fabulous life somewhere else, and she's more busy in with friends. And I'm like, she's out every night. I'm like, what are you doing? How come you're way cooler than me? So I love that, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

She's living her best life. She's like, Yeah, I'm busier now than I ever was, but it's with the people I want to do it with, with the things I want to do. So yes. Right, yeses. Yeah. Yes, exactly. She finally learned. Yes. So again, and I I just think it's important to make sure you give yourself self-compassion too, because nothing works out like it you think it's going to. So be prepared for that.

Shanna Star:

Usually better as long as we keep moving forward. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Always, always better in my world.

Shanna Star:

Good job. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey, we're manifesting too. Positive mindset, you know, for you know, positive energy brings positive energy. So yeah, I mean, I think that you do have to look at it in that manner.

Shanna Star:

Speaking of, love your energy. So what is on the horizon for you? What's coming up next? What are you excited about? What are the things going on?

SPEAKER_01:

So uh excited about I do have a book coming out uh mid next year um on the lies that we've been told and how to reframe those lies. I do have my podcast, Get Real Get Results. Um, love for your listeners to um to listen in if they think it would be valuable to them. I talk about all different things, kind of like you. It's great because it just depends on where we're gonna go that day. Um, and then my website, you know, you can hit me up on the social, Shantel Preston, and I would love to connect. Again, my my goal is just give some of my uh energy and some of my experience to others so they can learn and and hopefully, you know, save them from some challenging times or help them, you know, gain some actionable steps that they can take to help them live their best lives.

Shanna Star:

That's wonderful. That'll all be in the notes too, so they can click away and get to you and hopefully get the book you said early-ish next year that it's coming out.

SPEAKER_01:

I would say mid next year, yes. We're still working on a few things here and there. Um, but yes, I want to make sure it's not gonna be perfect. Okay, so let me just say that out loud. Uh, but I want to make sure it's good enough uh for for for someone that's gonna spend their time reading it. I I take people's time very intentional and very serious. So I want to make sure that they're gaining great things out of it.

Shanna Star:

Already what you said about it, I'm in. I'm getting it about lies with you.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, perfect. I appreciate that. Um, but thank you so much. And I mean, I've gained as much from you as you probably gained from me during this conversation. So thank you. I appreciate that.

Shanna Star:

I appreciate you and your energy and what you bring. You are just fabulous and beautiful, and you like glow. So thank you for being here. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, Sean, thank you so much. I appreciate you having me.

Shanna Star:

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