Leadership Starts Before You Are In Charge with Urmi Hossain

Let's start to rethink what leadership really is and why the most powerful leaders often have no formal title. We talk through practical ways to build influence, fight imposter syndrome, prevent burnout, and create a workplace culture where women back each other. 
• redefining leadership as impact, inspiration, and influence instead of titles 
• learning leadership through Toastmasters, public speaking, feedback, and active listening 
• leading teams when you feel too young and building trust through action 
• showing leadership through kindness, initiative, and mentoring others 
• handling imposter syndrome with self-talk, reframing, and documenting wins 
• preventing burnout with priorities, time blocking, sleep, and balance 
• career growth advice on networking, LinkedIn, mentors, and coffee chats 
• building women’s empowerment at work by supporting ideas and sharing opportunities 
• finding community through women-led networking groups and social events 
• remembering self-care matters and letting go of guilt 

https://linktr.ee/urmihossain

People can connect with me on LinkedIn. It’s called Urmiho Sign. I also have a YouTube page called Urmiho Sign. I have a podcast called Stories Beyond Borders, which is available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And my book is available on Amazon. It’s called Discovering Your Identity, a Rebirth from Integration Struggle. If people can just Google like Women in Leadership Foundation, they will find out about the work that we do on a national level 

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Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

Shanna Star 0:07

Welcome back to another episode of the Shine Podcast. I am Shauna Starr, your host, and I have a very wonderful and special guest with me here today. Ermi Hussain is here with me today. She is a corporate financial professional by day and creative soul by night. She's a blogger, youtuber, author, speaker, and female mentor and advocate for women's empowerment. She's also the co-chair of Women in Leadership in Montreal. And today we are going to talk all things leadership, what that looks like as a woman, and how you can have growth, belonging, and breaking barriers all while staying rooted on and with who you are. So let's get right to the episode.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Thank you so much for having me.

Shanna Star 0:51

Yes, yes. So I know we're gonna get into women in leadership, and you have quite the fabulous story and all the things that you do. So kind of tell us what you do now, how you got here, and all the things in between.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

All right. So my name is Ormi, and um, as I like to say, I'm a woman who wears many hats. So I have what I call my finance hat that I wear in my 9 to 5, and then I have my creative side where I wear many different hats, and that happens during my five to nine. Well, if that's the way to put it, and one of the things that I do is um, of course, I'm I'm a big advocate of women's empowerment. I am a big advocate of female mentorship, indeed, I'm a mentor for several organizations, I'm engaged with a lot of uh a lot of organizations at the moment, and I am also the co-chair of an organization called Women in Leadership, where basically myself and other three beautiful women were running the Montreal chapter. And besides that, I'm a blogger, speaker, youtuber. I also have my own podcast, which is called Stories Beyond Borders, and uh yeah, I always said that's who I am.

Shanna Star 2:05

That's wonderful. I'm so excited to just be able to chat with you because

Leadership Beyond Titles And Status

Shanna Star 2:09

I know, especially women empowerment, but in leadership, and you showcase that by being a woman in leadership. So can you describe maybe your leadership style and how it's involved evolved since you first took on a more formal role role in some of these positions?

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Yeah, let me tell you this. I would say my leadership style was um it was it was more part of a discovery process. Because if you asked me, let's say 10 years ago, what do you think like what do you think leadership is? I would have told you that it's just you getting a manager's job or a manager's role in a corporate job. That's what I would have said, because I felt like that every single manager out there, VP, SVP, CEO, they're all like leaders. But I was quite wrong. It was never about titles, it was more about achievement. And I feel like for me, leadership is more about impact, it's more about inspiration, it's more about uh influence, and that's how I feel like it also has changed for me. Like I think when I started, let's say working, I had this one goal that okay, one day I'm gonna become a manager, and that's what will make me a great leader. But I realized with time that I didn't want to pursue any of those careers, but rather focused more on how I can make an impact to the people that I'm serving or how can I make their lives better. Because that's when I understood that this is what leadership is about. And for me, my leadership style shows in different fronts, like it shows a lot with mentorship, where I'm guiding you know, young women who want to work in finance, or maybe they're looking, you know, for a career in in a certain industry, or I see that a lot also in my involvement with women in leadership, where we learn a lot about leadership style.

Toastmasters And Learning By Doing

SPEAKER_00 4:03

But another place where I learned about leadership, it's at Toastmasters. And I don't know if you're familiar with Toastmasters.

Shanna Star 4:09

No, no, just no, uh uh my gosh, you have to know this.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

So it's a place, it's a it's a nonprofit organization that was uh built in California in 1924, and it's been there for 100 years. So basically, it's a place where you get to practice your public speaking skills, and it's known worldwide, every single city has a uh Toastmasters club. And what people do not know is that you also get to work on your leadership skills. So they teach you like there is an actual like leadership like program, they teach you about it, and besides learning about public speaking skills, but that's where I learned about leadership, like it was you know, it's just volunteer work, like it's you working on your public speaking skills, but you're getting so much out of it, um, such as active listening skills, how to work on your critical thinking, um, how to work on like giving feedback. So these are every single like thing that you do is part of on like your leadership skills, and one of and their motto is where leaders are made, and so they're they build leaders. And as I like to say, I feel like every speaker is a leader because when you're speaking, you're you're spreading a message, and that message is supposed to, you know, create an impact.

Shanna Star 5:27

Yeah, I already really like what you said. I was writing down some notes about you know, maybe when we're growing up, how we view leaders, and that's just somebody who is in charge, whether that's management or CEO or whatever, and that doesn't mean they're necessarily a good person in leadership. And when you started talking about what you now view it as is impact and influence, it's such a good viewpoint because even somebody who's not in that maybe higher CEO or w whatever position, we can still be leaders. And then you sort of said the word serving, which is exactly how I view leadership as well. Um, just like a it happened yesterday. I was working at this event, I had one job and I saw this other thing was struggling, and I'm like, oh, not my job, but let me hop in, let me do all the things. And so those are the kind of things that I view leadership as as well, as you you jump in and help and you serve, and those are the things that make even if it's a small little impact, it doesn't have to be, you know, on a world worldview scale here, um, just how important we can be in leadership without maybe the role as that. So I love that you all already said that. Um and about Toastmasters, I've maybe heard of it, but I I didn't know what they did. So I thought I think that's incredible. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

I'm pretty sure you have a Toastmaster Club in your city. I'm sure we do, yes. 100% sure about this. Every single city has

Leading Older Teams With Confidence

SPEAKER_00 6:53

a club.

Shanna Star 6:53

Yes. So did you ever experience as you became a role model in leadership too, any resilience against this or maybe resistance against leading diver diverse teams, whether it's men or colleagues who might be older than you who you know have trouble with that respect and seeing you as a leader in that position?

SPEAKER_00 7:17

You know what? I would say uh so here's the thing when I was at Toastmaster, basically how it works, you get to work on your public speaking skills, but there is also an executive team which is running all everything that we do. And this executive team is made of a VP education, president, VP membership, VP mentorship. There's there are so many like VPs. And I was the VP of education for two years, and I was also the president following those two years, and um, and I don't know if it's Toastmaster or I don't know what it was, but for me, my experience when it came to like running the team and making sure they were running our meetings smoothly was that it was a realization that I could do it, and the people that I had next to me or around me, they were much older than me, much, much, much older than me. Like, I think I was 20 20, 27 when I was like VP of education, and everyone around me was like in their 50s, 60s, yeah. And I remember talking to my mentor about it, and I was like, Yeah, you know what? I'm not sure if I can do this. I'm like, why would people like like listen to me? And my mentor who was a male mentor, he was like, I why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't why wouldn't they listen to you? You know what I mean? Like, so he pushed me to go for forward with that, and that's when I really realized my leadership skills, and that and I realized that it's never about you know male or woman, or um, it's never about how much experience you have, it's really about like being inspirational, creating plans, having no leading with actions, making sure that the people that you are working for, or the team that you're running, or the team that you're running, like these people are really investing in themselves. That was one of the biggest learning. Like, leaders, what they do is that they invest their time in growing the people that they're serving or the people that they're working for, and um, and it was also never about hierarchy. That was another thing that I have uh I have learned. So for me, it was never like I never had any struggles, even though I felt like I was young, even though I felt like you know I was not good enough, but people never looked at me differently, and I think they really appreciated that I I was there running the the team, yeah.

Everyday Leadership Through Helpfulness

Shanna Star 9:52

Yeah. How would you say for those listening who either a lot of them have their own businesses, but not everyone, you know, and they're not necessarily in a leadership role. So, how what are some actions maybe that we can lead or show that we are good leaders, whatever role that looks like? I know you already said uh having plans and investing time. Are there some actions that we can do to have those leadership skills?

SPEAKER_00 10:18

I think you touched about uh something before, which is um leading with kindness and being kind with other people. I think you know, maybe you're doing something and you see someone struggling, like that could be also leadership skill, like you taking the initiative, you being proactive, okay. I'm gonna go and help this other person. Um, I think even in a workplace, like especially when you work in a team and everyone is on the same level, that also like you can also apply leadership skills right there as well, like being helpful towards the other employee who's maybe struggling with something, guiding them towards something, you know. So that's another way. And I think mentorship is another actionable, like um actionable uh thing that people can do, like you getting involved with different organizations where you want to like give back, I think you participating to a lot of these things, giving your time, it's already part of your leadership skills.

Shanna Star 11:16

Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. Are there things now that you've been in several different leadership positions, is there a belief that you hold about leadership that maybe goes against the grain of a conventional industry and some wisdom behind that?

SPEAKER_00 11:31

You know what? I think I really used to think leadership was all about titles, but that is so wrong. It's it's not about titles, it's really about I I like to call them the three eyes, which is inspiration, impact, and influence. And I always say, like, every single person has a leader within us. It's just up to us to cultivate it and to really find out what leader we are. And I think that when I think about those three eyes, um, I think that it's more about leading with sustainability, meaning that whatever you decide to do in terms of leadership, whether it is to give back to someone, whether it is through mentoring, is that it's something that is sustainable through through time. Uh you can do it on a long term. That's how I like to think of it. It's never like it's never a temporary thing.

Imposter Syndrome And Building Self-Trust

Shanna Star 12:22

Yeah, you're right about that. And you touched maybe just a titch on this as well, but what is, or maybe how have you built resilience against imposter syndrome? Because I think we've all felt it. We all felt like, oh gosh, maybe I shouldn't be in this position. Oh, maybe I'm not ready, maybe I'm too young, maybe, you know, whatever those things that come up for. And so how have you built resilience to get it um against it uh in environments where you might be the only at that table, whether it's like you said earlier, woman or that age or whatever that looks like.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Yeah, you know what? It's so funny that you're asking that question. One thing that I that I do it's mentoring, right? And people come to me with those questions, and I'm like, no, you can do this, you can do this. Like I always make sure that they believe in themselves. And so when I'm going through that, I'm trying to talk to myself as if it was like a second person. And I'm telling I tell myself, if I'm able to tell these things to other people, why am I not being able to do that to myself? And so building that self-trust within me is what has helped me. And another thing is that I I like to document some of the things that I do just because I like to remember them. Uh, like even a few weeks ago, I applied for um to speak at a conference, and I was telling myself, I don't think I have the experience to do this, I don't think I can host anything. And I'm like, but it's not true. I have done so many, like like I gave so many like events, I hosted events, I I was a moderator into so many things. Why am I second guessing myself? So it's like rethinking, like otherwise and reframing some of the sentences, such as I instead of saying I cannot do this, I'm gonna say, you know, I can do this, I'm good with this, I have the necessary experience. So it's just a little bit of like a tweak uh that you have to do in your sentences really, really help. And I also attend a bunch of workshops where they talk about imposter syndrome and how to how to uh how to how to deal with that.

Shanna Star 14:24

Yeah, absolutely something that pops up for me too, and I know you have a lot of confidence, but that comes from experience or uh when people ask me about confidence, I'm always like, Well, confidence, you don't just have it, you know, you have to build it by following through. So even the small things. So I have confidence in the gym because I've told myself I'm going to do these things and I follow through. And when you follow through, that's what builds that confidence. It just unfortunately doesn't fall in your lap. You have to do the actions to get back. So yeah. And so same thing with you. Yes, yeah. And I know that you've done that where you're like, oh shoot, you know, I don't know if I should be in this position or speak at this event, uh, but you do it anyway, and that's what builds that confidence. So I'm so proud of you. That's wonderful. Thank you. Yeah.

Burnout Prevention With Time Blocking

Shanna Star 15:13

What are some of your maybe top strategies for preventing burnout? Because I know you do all the things while still maintaining a high-level drive.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

I do a lot of things. You're right.

Shanna Star 15:26

And uh you said lots of hats, yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

I do, I do, but I do enjoy every single thing that I do. Um I think one thing that has really helped me is my time management skills, and I think I'm pretty good at that. Um, because you know, having when you have a full-time job, there's always so much that you can do, but it's also making it a priority. It's like you said, you know, if I want to go to the gym, I'm gonna make sure that I do it. So it's making a priority, and I think like blocking the time has really helped me and not wasting the time. So for me, for instance, when it comes to you wearing different hats and having let's say different calls, different projects, I like to spread them out throughout the whole week, throughout the whole month. You know, sometimes I'm even far ahead, but I feel like distributing the work it gives me a sense of like understanding of where should I put my time first and how should I allocate my time and energy without really feeling overwhelmed because sometimes it could be overwhelming. So I go with priorities, I do time blocking, I'm spreading everything out, and I try to do one thing each evening rather than doing let's say three, five things each evening, which could be a lot, and making sure you know that I'm getting my eight hours of sleep, you know, drinking my water, going for a walk, going to the gym, because you need the balance of everything. You cannot just do one thing, everything, all the time. And um that that that's quite helpful. And I think I learned about discipline and accountability by doing all of those things. Like I'm accountable to the work, to the things I want to do.

Shanna Star 16:59

Yeah, I'm so glad you said that even in the evenings like your five to nine, that you have the one thing, or maybe two if it's a special evening rather than the 20, because everyone is busy, right? And we all have those lists that need to be done, but it's really about the prioritization of what actually needs to be done and what can be pushed till tomorrow, and what does that look like? Uh for myself, I choose this is my job, you know, full-time photographer and podcaster. So I have five things a day, and that also includes things for myself. Now, there are days where you get way more done, and that's great. And then there's days where you just get those done, and that's more than enough. That's exactly what you needed. So I'm so glad you said that. And then the sleep part. I'm like, yes, I need my sleep too. So now, are you an early riser? Because I am not, so I always love to know.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

I am. You are okay. Yes.

Shanna Star 17:53

What is early for you? What time do you get up?

SPEAKER_00 17:56

So let me tell you this. Um because now it's like uh it's the fasting period, so I do have to wake up early and to eat something, you know, before the sunrise, and I've been using that time, so I wake up around like five. Okay, eat something, and then I stay awake. So I'm doing that thing that everyone is doing, like you know, going to sleep at nine and waking up at five. I never tried it. I was like, I'm never gonna believe in this. But you get a lot of things done. So right now for this whole month, I'm doing like, okay, I'm gonna wake up at five and go to sleep like at 9 p.m. And I get a lot of things done. But usually I would say that I would say that when I'm not working, 8 a.m. is the is the earliest that I would do. Yeah. Yeah. Earliest.

unknown 18:41

Yeah.

Shanna Star 18:42

Okay, perfect. We're we're on the same page there. My husband is an early riser at like 4:30. And gosh. Very thankful for him, but nope, I'm not that person. I'm always a night owl. So when he goes to bed, I still get a few things done. So I just always like to ask. I know so many people are early risers and they love it. My peaceful time comes in the evenings.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

So that's okay.

Shanna Star 19:03

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

No, I used to be. Oh, sorry.

Shanna Star 19:06

No, no, go for it. You used to be that way, you said.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

I I used to be that way when I was a student. Like I didn't do things that in the evening when no one was bothering me. But I think with time, I prefer like waking up early and doing my things early on, so I don't have to worry about it during the day.

Shanna Star 19:24

The day, yes, yeah, that totally makes sense.

Career Growth Through Networking And LinkedIn

Shanna Star 19:27

So now I know you talked about this too, that if you could go back and you know, leadership, what the what it means to you is much different. But if you could go back to your younger self, what is maybe some important career advice that you would give her?

SPEAKER_00 19:44

A lot of them, a lot of them, honestly, so many. Um, and I always say my biggest mistakes when I was a student is never networking or connecting with people. I never took that time, I never took that time. That was my biggest mistake. Um, I remember even when I had to like look for a job, I was like, I don't know where to start, I don't know anyone, I don't know anyone from the industry, how am I gonna do with this? And another thing was that I was so shy to having a LinkedIn profile, so shy because I was like, I don't have anything to talk about. And I remember like I would look at other people's profile and be like, oh my gosh, they have so many things to talk about, and I and I always felt like I had less than that, way less than that. And so for a while I was always hiding behind a curtain because I was like, I don't think I'm good for this. And with time I realized that I had so many things that I could offer to people, and so it took me a while to connect with people, to beat my connections, to actually go to networking events, but it was my biggest, biggest mistake when I was in university, and so that's would be like a career advice that I would share to my younger selves that take time to network. I always tell even younger people that I meet now to network to find a mentor, even when you are a student, to speak to someone that's it from the industry. You can do coffee chats, you can find people on LinkedIn as well. Maybe they are working in a company they knew that you want to work for, maybe they're doing a role that you want to do. So reach out to those people, do a coffee chat. And honestly, one thing that I find that works really well is that people that are working, like people who are professionals, they're more than willing to have a coffee chat with a student. Uh I know that I'm in that position now where you know I'm the professional people reach out to me, like students, and I'm more than happy to talk to them. But I can see, like, I I know people are very happy to speak to students because if you feel like you're part of their growth, and you know, so you're willing to to help. So I would say really to like reach out to people on LinkedIn and connect with them.

Shanna Star 21:58

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Shanna Star 21:59

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SPEAKER_00 24:14

Uh which is Yeah, and honestly, that's what I was telling a few weeks ago to an event that I went to. It was a student's uh event, and they were looking for professionals. So I went as a professional and I was telling one of the students, I said, when you go to the networking events, don't go with that idea that you're gonna get the job or that you have to sell yourself. Like I say, you have to be genuine about it, build that foundation, get to genuinely know the person as you would do like in any other settings. Because even when you are going to a networking event, like people think that you're going there as a as a as a business transaction, you know, like I'm going there because I want to, I'm gonna, you know, sell give my resume and gonna get a job the next day, but that's not how it works. No, that's not how it works. I always say you want to make sure that you build that foundation, create a positive impact, good impression is very, very important, and make sure that it remember you, you know, and then eventually, you know, that could open to other opportunities.

Shanna Star 25:16

Yeah. I think about social media too, and I know that's I'm gonna bring it back to networking, but when you post something on social media, you know, I think only at most one to three percent of the people see it. And I think you have to make six or seven touch points before people remember you. And so the same is in person. If you have to meet them, they already maybe have a vendor or somebody who does your line of work. So building that relationship is gonna just say to them, oh, you're trustworthy. I know you now, I know your character. And so then they can start referring you or helping you in another way if that's your business too. So yeah, I think that's important. That's wonderful.

TEDx Dreams And Women In Leadership Plans

Shanna Star 25:53

I know that we've talked about that leadership over time and what it looks like. So, what's maybe on the horizon for you looking into the future? What is something that you want to maybe do? I know you have a book and all the good things. So, what else are you looking to add or subtract in the future?

SPEAKER_00 26:11

I say a lot of things. A lot of things. I my biggest dream is to deliver a TED Talk or a TEDx. Yes, yes, very much into doing that. So I'm like that. Hoping that you know eventually it will happen. And definitely the work that I do with women in leadership. We just launched our first event last Sunday. It was a great success. We had an in-person event with speakers, panelists, pretty much all women, and we loved the connections and the vibe that was created, and people really enjoyed like learning from other people's uh stories, and especially like women's stories where they're sharing about their challenges, but also stories of resilience and how they go through every single struggles. I I think there is a different um there's a different kind of vibe that that is created when there are like a lot of women, so we want to keep continue doing that and build the community in Montreal.

Shanna Star 27:14

Yeah. No, I know we're talking about more so leadership, but I know you're such an advocate for women's empowerment. So will you talk a little bit about that and why it's so close to your heart and why you're excited about it, and yeah, just all the things about it.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Yeah, I'm I'm very passionate about that because I just feel like I see so so much like inequalities and unfairness towards women just in general, I would say, in in every single culture, in every single like this, like I like I used to think this was always touching like South Asian communities where women are just neglected, they're not given so much importance, but it touches a lot of cultures, unfortunately, and because of that, I was like, you know what, we have to change the narratives, you know. We should every single person should be given the same opportunities. Sometimes I feel like we're always being biased towards men, you know, they're the ones who are the breadwinner, they are the ones who do everything, but women are always like told to do certain things, certain roles, but I think we can all give our first share if we're given the same opportunity, so that's why I'm very advocate about women's empowerment.

Shanna Star 28:34

Yes.

Women’s Empowerment And Workplace Allyship

Shanna Star 28:36

And I know most of those listening, most of the audience are women, so we're only gonna speak from a women's point of view, and so I would love to know too, for those women listening, thinking, okay, like I work with other women, or maybe I network with other women, or have women friends. What can we do to help build a better women empowerment culture within the workplace? Because I I see myself, yes, men do that too, and that's a whole nother subject. But there's also women who aren't supportive of women or encouraging to women or empowering them. So, what can we do in the workplace to showcase that?

SPEAKER_00 29:13

So I was going to say uh to really support their ideas and their projects, and if they have a business to support that. So, for instance, one of the things that I do with a friend of mine is um she I know she runs a business, but every time there is an opportunity where you know she can showcase what she does, or maybe there is an opportunity, speaking opportunity, I tell her about it so that she can apply for it as well. So that's the way like I support the work that she does. I can support maybe her business as well. And I would say also for the women out there to really believe in the ideas of their friends. I think that you know, surrounding yourself with good people, people who believe in you, people who believe in your work is very, very important because there will be people who bring you down, but there are people who will also uplift you, so to be selective as well. Like if you are surrounded by negative energy, you will you're not gonna grow. And so it's important to surround yourself with people who are willing to invest in your ideas, even if your idea might be the craziest one, but to have that one person who believes in it and be like, Okay, let's do it, let's go for it. I think that that's all we need.

Shanna Star 30:26

Yes, I'm so glad you said that too. I've moved five different states around the United States here, and that was the toughest thing is when I moved now to Florida, like we talked about, by myself, was finding a group of women that I want to invest in, and and vice versa. So you're not just pouring out into them, but you also feel loved and encouraged too. And that can be hard. I mean, we're all at different stages in life, so we all have different things going on, and so sometimes maybe they don't have the capacity for that. So I'm I think it's incredibly important to find women who are like-minded to encourage and empower and also be there to tell you the truth and be like not great, you know, or yeah, whatever that looks like. And so I'm that's incredibly important to have those wonderful women in our lives

Finding Supportive Women Through Community

Shanna Star 31:12

for sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Yeah, and and let me tell you this because you said you have moved around and maybe you are finding it difficult to find friends. I think another thing which is beautiful about let's say social media is that there are so many like networking groups out there that are let's say run by women just for women. You can find out more about those things, and they do a lot of like networking events or social events. So maybe for instance, um let's say they do like um a vision board activity, or they do like a Pilates nice activity, like you can be part of those things and get to like just know who are the people living in that community or people who will do the same thing as you. So that could be another way as well.

Shanna Star 31:57

Yes, yeah. It took me a while. I've been here since oh gosh, late 2017. But I would say it took me like three years before those women are like come out of the woodwork where I'm like, these, these are the my women here. But you're right, social media helps that too to just connect. And you know, podcasting has helped me because just like speaking with you, I would have maybe never talked to you, connected with you, if it wasn't for such a beautiful platform. And so I'm sure you found the same with your podcast too, that you get connected with people that you would never have been able to, and it's such an incredible experience.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Yeah, and I feel like you you are able to share like resources as well with the one-time connection that you do. Cause it did happen that I I was part of another like I was I did an appearance on another show, and um, we did like a pre-call, and there was such a good synergy, like we were just sharing so many resources just in that in those 15 minutes. So even those are quite uh impactful. I think you're able to really get um a lot of information and resources that shared in those uh appearances as well, being on another podcast. Yeah.

Confidence Mantras And Daily Discomfort

Shanna Star 33:07

Yes. Is there anything about women's empowerment or leadership that you feel we really haven't touched on that you feel strongly about that you want to share some wisdom or tidbits or advice or anything that kind of comes up that way?

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Yeah, I would say it's more related to the imposter syndrome that keeps showing up all the time and not being able to believe in ourselves. That's like it's it's so recurring. I think I see it all the time. I see it with I saw it at the event that we went with, they were all talking about the imposter syndrome, and always asking ourselves, why me? You know, so like don't second guess yourself. Never, never second guess yourself if if there's something that you want to do, go for it. And as I always like to say, be comfortable with uncomfortable, like do something that you know gets you out of that comfort zone every day. It has to be like it can be small actions, but you will see once you take those small actions, something like you will see the outcome of it, which will be the whole thing, you know. You you have instilled confidence in you by taking those small actions. So I always say, like, really to believe in yourself by uh taking small action each day to be better.

Shanna Star 34:25

Yeah. I know something for me is when imposter syndrome has popped up, it's always a good time to go to the notebook or the computer, whatever you prefer, and start to write down all the reasons that that's not true, all the things that you've accomplished, all the things that you've brought you here, or the experiences that led you to be able to take that role, that position, or prove to yourself that those thoughts are wrong. Because not all the thoughts that pop in our head are correct, of course, just like imposter syndrome.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

You know what I do actually? One thing that really helps me because we we spend so much time on our phone, I change my wallpaper, and I have a mantra that says that some women fear the fire, some women are the fire. So every time I need to do something, I read that sentence and remind myself the woman that I am, and that's how I go through my stuff. Yeah, I love that.

Shanna Star 35:16

That's beautiful. I love it. No, I already kind of asked you this question, but is there anything else?

Self-Care Without Guilt

Shanna Star 35:22

It doesn't have to be business related, it could be personal, that maybe has just been on your heart and mind lately that you feel we as women maybe need to hear or repeat to ourselves or whatever as well.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

Yes, uh I would say to really take care of ourselves. We don't do enough of it because we are just so busy giving, giving, giving to other people. But when it comes to ourselves, we're like at the bottom of the of the list, at the bottom of the prior priority list, and I see it. I see it around women that I work with, I see it with the women that I interact with. And sometimes when I look at it, I'm like, but why are you doing this to yourself? You know, and there is a sense of guilt that we have because of the way we were brought up. But don't feel bad for taking a night off. Don't feel bad if you want to go and spend time with your, let's say, girlfriends. Don't feel bad if you want to have a dinner just by yourself or you know, just want to have time for yourself. Like, don't feel bad if you want to go and and do a workout, but you know, you're not home for for your kids. Like, don't feel bad about it, you know. Like, there's also you who you should be caring uh about. And I think it's important that we take care of ourselves.

Shanna Star 36:32

Yeah, I think that's important too, especially so many of the women I'm sure you know too, are so good at serving others that they then put themselves on the back burner and they're not serving themselves too to continue that. And I don't I don't have kids, but I always say some of the best moms that I've watched are the ones who, of course, they serve, they serve their kids and their family and their communities, but they're the ones who can say, okay, I need to take a step back and do something for myself so that they can show up better and more fully uh in the future. So I love that.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

I agree, I agree. There is this woman that I I think she's like a super woman. She um she I used to like volunteer with her. We were part of the different like I was part of the women and leadership organization, but for a different chapter. Um, and I remember looking up to her so much. Like she just does it all. She's married, she has two kids, and then somehow she's able to do everything, but she also takes care of herself, honestly. And I'm and this is what I like when I look at her, I'm like, this is what we need. We need more women who are like her who are also taking care of themselves because she goes on workouts, but she's also there for her family, too. You know, she's not neglecting herself, and I think that's what we need to teach or tell other women don't feel bad if you're taking time for yourself. It's important that you do that so you can be better for others.

Shanna Star 37:57

Yeah, an example I've given in the past on the show is a personal one that from a daughter's perspective, and my mom was one of the she serves so well, too well, right? So she neglected herself for years serving her children, which I appreciated. I felt very loved, all the good things. But when she started working on herself more, I was in high school, and I remember kind of peeking around the corner and seeing her read, or then she started going to the gym and just working on herself. And that's when I told her I started to view her not just as a mom, but as a woman, and I started to have a different level of respect for her because I saw she was important too. I mean, she always did her hair and looked nice, but it was she's not just a mom, she's a woman who is important all on her own, and so that led me to believe I'm important on my own as well. So I think sometimes women forget that doing those things, all those little eyes are watching what you do.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

So you know what? I also have something to share

Immigrant Motherhood And Identity Growth

SPEAKER_00 38:59

too. Um it's it's also about my mom because my mom, she's a typical like immigrant uh mother who moves from one country, and she so basically my parents moved from Bangladesh to Italy, and then I was born. Yeah, and uh what happened is um my mom, she was just as a housewife, a stay-at-home mom. So she was always like cleaning, cooking, being there for us. But but that that was because that's that was the only thing that she knew. Like she wasn't taught otherwise, especially when you come from that part of the world where women are just taught to be, you know, housewives. And what happened is um I never realized this, but I do think that she was a superwoman as well, because you know, being in a country where you do not know the language and you know nothing about like the culture is very tough. But somehow she managed to do it all. You know, she would go around, even though she didn't know, like she didn't know a word in Italian, she would like point it out when she wanted to buy something. If they said the number, she knew how much she had to pay. If there was like a difference to pay, she knew about it. The only thing is that maybe like when we had to go to the doctor, we had to be there to translate things. But now, for instance, they moved to the UK, and one thing that she's been doing a lot is uh taking time to actually learn how to speak English. So she took some like English classes, and uh she also like went to the gym a couple of times. Like, like for instance, she was never taught from a young age, oh, you know, you should take care of your body or stuff like that. But like she goes to the gym, she goes for her walks, which is important. She understands that it's important for her that she has to go and do her steps, and she does a lot of like girls' activities, so she gets together with other women in the community and they do like fun things together, so it's nice to see it, and that she's doing that too for like she's doing that, and I feel like sometimes women are not aware, like especially when you are an immigrant woman, where you're thinking, okay, all I have to do is just take care of my kids, but at least now she's in that phase where she's she can do that for herself. So I'm glad that she does it instead instead of just staying at home and not doing anything, for instance.

Shanna Star 41:05

Yes, that's a lot of moves, especially you said that's twice without knowing the language. That's incredible. Let me ask you one more question, and that is how can we find, follow you or work with you and get your book, all the things.

Where To Find Urmi’s Work

Shanna Star 41:18

Of course, we'll put the links in the bio, but uh please tell us how we can find and follow you.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Yes, so people can connect with me on LinkedIn. It's called Urmiho Sign. I also have a YouTube page called Urmiho Sign. I have a podcast called Stories Beyond Borders, which is available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And my book is available on Amazon. It's called Discovering Your Identity, a Rebirth from Integration Struggle, and last but not least, my work with women in leadership. If people can just Google like Women in Leadership Foundation, they will find out about the work that we do on a national level and they can find out what each chapter does and follow us uh through that.

Shanna Star 41:54

Wonderful. Thank you so much. That was so beautiful to hear about you, your story, leadership, your sweet mom as well, some family. And so just thank you for all the time and your wisdom today. Are

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Shanna Star 42:08

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