Episode 105: "What are some red flags in 'Twilight?'"
Episode 105: "What are some red flags in 'Twilight?'"
On today’s episode, we’re answering a question from local teens about red flags in “Twilight.”
This is Jessica Skultety, Outreach and Prevention Manager at Safe+Sound Somerset. We are Somerset County, New Jersey's lead domestic and sexual violence response organization, providing services at no charge to survivors for over 40 years.
Today's question from local teens is: “Dear Ava, what are some red flags in ‘Twilight?’”
For those who may not know, the “Twilight” saga is a vampire and werewolf-themed romance book series. Around 2008, the books were adapted to films, and its target audience was young teens especially. “Twilight” became a sensation and got a lot of attention. It was perceived as “cute” and “romantic” among audience members when it first released, and to some people today, too.
Although the characters are fictional and fantasy, people treat them like real-life relationship goals. “Twilight” continues to be beloved today by adults and teens alike because of this, and it recently gained even more fans with its appearance on some popular streaming apps. Yet, with a more careful glance, the movie series often portrays unhealthy and abusive relationships. So let’s look at some of those red flags.
Before we begin, this podcast may have spoilers! If you want to read the books or watch the movies first, do that, and then come back here and listen.
People often talk about “red flags” in a relationship, but do we know what that really means? Red flags, or warning signs, can make a relationship feel unsafe and unhealthy. They can also cause or contribute to emotional or physical short-term or long-term harm.
Of course, not all red flags are obvious. Red flags can often be hard to spot because many shows and movies romanticize harmful behaviors like stalking, obsession, intensity, and control. In “Twilight,” these red flags are portrayed as a “passionate love.” By inaccurately portraying harmful behaviors as signs of love, people begin to think that they are normal, acceptable, and expected in a passionate relationship.
In earlier podcasts, we talk about how healthy relationships have an equal power balance between the two people: both people have the equal ability to make decisions, set boundaries, and give consent or take it away. When a relationship feels unsafe and unhealthy, there is a power imbalance. One person is leveraging power and control over another.
Although many people have focused on Edward’s and Bella’s relationship, Jacob. Bella’s best friend, also gained power and control over Bella as a friend. Red flags are not limited to romantic relationships and the book and film series both show that.
The “Twilight” films start with a power imbalance by portraying Bella as a “damsel in distress in need of rescuing.” So, Bella needs someone to save her, and the answer to this then becomes Edward. This is a red flag because relationships are just one part of our lives. Our partners should add to our lives instead of acting like saviors or solutions.
When two people need each other so much that they can’t function on their own, this is called codependency. It can lead to one person trying to gain and keep power and control. This could be seen when Edward began to stalk Bella under the excuse of “protecting” and “caring for her.” Edward’s behaviors, which were controlling and stalking behaviors were portrayed as justified because apparently Bella needed saving.
Another red flag in the "Twilight" series is isolation. As Edward became more central in Bella’s life, he pulled her from away friends and family. Edward limited her interactions to only HIS family. Throughout the films, we see how Bella starts to even distance herself from her dad, because Edward made it seem necessary. When someone is isolated, it is easier for the abusive partner to gaslight or control them. Bella made many decisions based on what Edward wanted. He would threaten to kill himself if anything happened to her.
He would also frequently scare her. Healthy relationships never rely on manipulation or threats. Unfortunately, in the series, we saw how Edward would drive his car too fast or abandoned Bella in the woods after breaking up with her. Both these examples would make any person feel unsafe.
“Twilight” also shows how Edward leveraged power and control through emotional abuse. Jacob wasn’t innocent either. At one point, Jacob threatened suicide to get Bella’s sympathy. Bella felt pressured and proceeded to kiss him as a way to console him, not because she wanted to.
In both Bella’s relationships with Edward and Jacob, there were elements of control, possessiveness, and unhealthy jealousy. Edward and Jacob did these things without her consent and justified their actions by saying they were trying to protect her. Although there have been more conversations about dating violence and “Twilight,” it’s important to acknowledge how it once was and still is considered a “cute” film series. Media often normalizes red flags, which can create harmful ideas about what dating is supposed to look like. You deserve to be in safe relationships, free of violence.
At Safe+Sound Somerset, we’re not telling people to stop watching, or stop liking the films. We hope today’s episode will encourage you to take a look at the books and film series with a critical lens. And we encourage everyone to explore and understand why these relationships aren’t normal or healthy, and to look at how relationships in media may influence how people view normal relationships in real life.
If you feel some of these red flags rang true to you, there is help available. You can call or text 24/7. A trained advocate can provide information, safety planning, and resources to help you navigate.
To speak with an expert about relationship or sexual violence, call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset 24/7 confidential helpline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening, information, and safety planning.
Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit our website at www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.