This week, we're talking about jealousy and how it can impact a relationship.
This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset. We are Somerset County New Jersey’s lead domestic violence organization, providing safety, hope and healing to survivors for 41 years.
When 1 out of 3 teens experiences dating abuse before high school graduation, it’s all of our responsibility to work together to end abuse once and for all. The Ask Ava series, developed by teens in our SPEAK Teen Leadership Camps, is designed to connect with and educate teens about teen dating abuse and healthy relationships. We'll be answering this week's question with a deeper look here on our podcast.
Today's question from local teens is: Dear Ava: What can I do if my girlfriend is always jealous when I talk to other girls, and gets mad at me?
Jealousy is natural, but it matters how someone acts on that jealousy. In an equal dating relationship, your partner should never make you feel unsafe or less worthy of respect.
In an equal relationship, you and your partner have the right to talk to whoever you would like, even if it's an ex dating partner. This is something that’s very hard for some people to understand, but if one partner holds this over the other, like saying, "you can't talk to your ex, because I'm your boyfriend or girlfriend," this is a sign of control and puts a level of anxiety on the other person.
It can cause them to think thing such as, "do I have to ask permission to talk to any of my exes? Do I have to look over my shoulder every time I pass my ex? Will my partner be looking at me or be mad at me? Are they watching? Do I have to unfollow my ex on social media? What if I’m friends with my ex – does that mean I can’t be anymore, because my boyfriend or girlfriend said this?" This is not a healthy or safe way to live.
Keep in mind that one of the biggest warning signs of an abusive relationship is constant, extreme jealousy and/or possessiveness. Call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset hotline at 866-685-1122 for more information and support. And, visit our website, at www.safe-sound.org.
Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.