Today, as part of a series on Friends, we're talking about how to help a friend who has attempted suicide in the past.
This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset, Somerset County New Jersey's lead domestic violence organization. We offer services at no charge for survivors of dating and domestic abuse for over 40 years.
Today’s question from local teens is: How can I help my friend who has attempted suicide in the past?
Simply spending time with them can help and make them feel supported. Do things they enjoy doing. Make time to talk and spend time with them whether it’s in person or virtual. You don’t have to spend all your time with them, but make sure that they know that you are there for them.
Ask how they want you to help and support them. Often people who have experience intense emotional pain have felt powerless, so giving them power and choice can really help. Make sure they know that you are willing to talk with them if they want to, but also encourage other kinds of reaching out (such as a therapist, trusted adult, mental health professional, etc.). Respect your friend’s wishes unless it puts you or your friend in immediate danger. And if so, call 911.
Take care of yourself, too. Helping a friend can be so hard but it’s wonderful that you are helping them. It makes such a difference, and make sure you reach out to another friend or a trusted adult so you can talk and get support. Make sure you do activities that you enjoy with and without your friend. You are not solely responsible for your friend.
You should also keep a look out for warning signs if your friend’s behavior changes. Some of these warning signs include: describing their intent to self harm; giving away possessions; withdrawing from activities or relationships (even your friendship) that they previously enjoyed; hopelessness and dread; no goals or plans for the future; statements, like "no one will care if I'm gone, nothing will get better.” So those are some things we’ve talked about in other episodes as well, but it’s really important to mention here too.
If you feel like something’s off or you see these warning signs in your friend’s behavior, ask them if they are thinking about hurting themselves and/or if they are okay. We talk about more specific language in our podcast episode on helping a friend who is considering suicide. Again, if there’s immediate danger, call 911. And as the friend, we also recommend calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for more tips about your specific situation at 1-800-273-8255.
At Safe+Sound Somerset, we often hear about threats of suicide in teen dating relationships. One partner may threaten to hurt or kill themselves to make sure their partner stays in the relationship. Please know that even though this situation is very unsafe, you can leave with help. Tell a trusted adult or call or text our hotline at 866-685-1122 for safety planning and supportive listening.
Visit our website at safe-sound.org. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.