Today, we’re talking about feeling guilty for leaving a partner who has a mental health condition. This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset, Somerset County New Jersey's lead domestic violence organization, providing services at no charge for survivors of dating and domestic abuse for over 40 years.
Today's question from local teens is: “What do I do if I feel guilty for leaving my partner, who has a mental health condition?”
First off, in a relationship each partner has the right to leave for any reason they want. That’s one thing that makes a relationship healthy. In a healthy relationship, both partners respect each other’s rights, which are automatic and can’t be taken away. One of those rights is the right to leave the relationship for any reason. You need to take care of yourself first – full stop.
Tell your partner why you’re leaving but remember this: If you’re worried about your partner thinking you’re leaving because of their mental health condition, that’s not something you can control. We can’t control how people feel – all we can do is be truthful and respectful. Whatever the reason is, you are allowed to leave the relationship.
Also, know that you are not responsible for your partner in the end – they are responsible for their own life, just as you are responsible for yours.
If your partner is making you feel guilty about leaving them, blackmailing you, or threatening you, and using their mental health as a reason for this, please talk to a trusted adult and/or call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset hotline at 866-685-1122. This is not okay and it’s not your fault.
If your partner has a mental health condition and you are looking for the best ways to support them as their partner, check out our last Ask Ava episode for some tips.
Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.