Today, as part of a series on Healthy Relationships, we're talking about what healthy teen relationships should look like. This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset, Somerset County New Jersey's lead domestic violence organization, providing services at no charge for survivors of dating and domestic abuse for over 40 years.
Today's question from local teens is: What does a healthy romantic relationship look like?
There are some clear signs that you can judge a healthy relationship by. This is any romantic partner, casual or serious, online and/or in person – however you define dating.
Partners validate self-worth and lift each other up, rather than putting each other down with insults, in both public and private – this also includes passive aggressive and indirect insults that embarrass someone. They SUPPORT the other person and it shows!
Partners in a healthy relationship encourage the other to have independence and spend time with friends and family, and enjoy activities outside of the relationship. For example, “you should spend time with your friends. We can hang out another day.” They work through issues of jealousy without controlling the other person. Jealousy is natural, right? You can admit that you are jealous and have a conversation about it, instead of, for example, telling your partner they can’t talk to their ex.
In a healthy relationship, partners also listen non-judgmentally and try to understand each other’s side. Both partners respect the physical and emotional boundaries of the other person and continuously talk about them openly. They always make sure the other feels safe and comfortable, and they give the other person space to make decisions without fear of payback. You can see more of these signs on the teen equality wheel linked on our website, www.safe-sound.org.
Healthy romantic partners also respect each other’s Rights and Responsibilities which you can also see linked on our website. These include: each partner respects the right to say no and change their minds, to be responsible for their own actions and behavior, and not using drugs or alcohol as an excuse for abusive behavior.
Does this mean that disagreements and arguments don’t happen? No. People in healthy relationship still argue but they do it in a respectful way. We’ll explore how to do that in the next Ask Ava episode.
Text or call the Safe+Sound Somerset hotline for supportive listening, safety planning, and information at 866-685-1122. Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.