Today, we’re talking about how teens can get involved in their own circles, locally, and nationally to end domestic abuse in the United States.
This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset, Somerset County New Jersey's lead domestic violence organization, providing services at no charge for survivors of dating and domestic abuse for over 40 years.
Today's question from local teens is: How can I get involved with ending domestic violence in my community?
With small actions, we can make big change. Domestic Violence Awareness Month is in October, and since domestic violence affects whole communities, we can all do something to promote healthy relationships and prevent abuse and violence. Think of getting involved like drops of water in a bucket – one person takes an action, and then another, and then another, until the bucket is overflowing.
First, educating yourself and then educating the people around you is an excellent way to start. We have to know the facts before we take action. You could partner with a school club to create a Public Service Announcement or social media campaign about facts and warning signs. The most important statistics to know are that more 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in America will experience domestic violence from an intimate partner within their lifetimes, which is information from The National Domestic Violence Hotline, or www.thehotline.org. Our website, www.safe-sound.org, also has plenty of information about domestic and dating abuse to get you started.
Here are some simple things that all teens can do to promote healthy relationships and stop abuse before it starts. This might sound basic, but treat others the way you want to be treated is the golden rule. It’s like a ripple effect – when you treat your friends and dating partners with respect and equality, these people are more likely to treat others the same way.
If you have a friend who is a bully or is abusive (physically, verbally, sexually, etc.) towards their dating partner or friends, call out the behavior if it’s safe. If you ignore the behavior, you send the signal that you think it’s okay for your friend to act this way. You can say something simple, like “stop.” Tell them that their behavior isn’t acceptable and it’s unsafe, and that they can get in trouble. Or, that respect benefits them in the long run. Also, people DO care about what their friends think. Calling out inappropriate behavior might make your friend reconsider and think, “well, if I want my friends to like me, maybe I shouldn’t do it.” It’s worth the effort.
Don’t let your friend blame the victim or other people for their behavior. You might even recommend that they reach out to trained professionals. Remember, if you DON’T feel safe to say these things, this is an important signal to reach out to a trusted adult in your life (like a family member, teacher, coach, etc.) for advice and next steps. If a crime has happened, report it. Most of all, don’t ignore that it’s happening – if it’s happening, it’s happening –the next step is, what can you do?
Another action you can take? Believe people who report dating and domestic violence. The large majority of the time, these reports are real and valid. Questioning someone and trying to find out all the facts is a form of victim blaming. It’s never the victim or survivor’s fault – abuse of any kind is always a choice of behavior that a person makes.
You can also find out what services exist in your area and see how you can get involved with them and volunteer. In NJ, to volunteer at a domestic violence response organization like Safe+Sound Somerset, you must be 18 or older and complete a 40 hour Domestic Violence Advocate training. Teens can get involved with our SPEAK Education program - attend one of our events such as the SPEAK Teen Leadership Conference in February or SPEAK Leadership Camps in July, where we learn and practice leadership skills and how to promote healthy relationships both as leaders and friends. Teens can also become Social Ambassadors for us by liking, commenting on, and sharing our social media posts on Instagram and Facebook– you help get the word out!
Finally, have you ever reached out to your representatives? Even if you’re not yet of voting age, teens can call and email about issues they care about. VAWA, which is the Violence Against Women Act, is in the United States Senate right now, waiting to be renewed. This act provides important funds for domestic violence shelters all over the country. Senators take calls and emails from the public, and you can make your voice heard!
These are just a few ideas for how to get involved. Remember, you especially have a lot of power in your circle of friends and family – you can make a difference on how people view relationships. When more of us have these conversations, we create a better, healthier world.
Call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset 24/7 hotline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening and information.
Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit our website at www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.
