Today, we’re talking about what trust looks like in romantic relationships, for both teens and adults. This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset. We are Somerset County, New Jersey's lead domestic violence response organization, providing services at no charge for survivors of dating and domestic abuse for over 40 years.
Today's question from local teens is: How do I know that I can trust my partner?
Trust is earned and takes time. If you’re looking to date or be with someone, it can be good to become friends with them first. See how they treat their other friends and their family. Are they respectful towards other people? Are they generous and caring, or are they more focused on themselves and their own wellbeing?
Showing trust is giving you space to make decisions and not holding anything over your head or blackmailing you. Your partner might show trust by giving you space to hang out with your friends and family, and to text or interact on social media however you choose.
More examples of being trustworthy are: respecting all of your boundaries and understanding your right to change your mind to do anything, avoiding pressuring you, communicating directly when conflict comes up, keeping secrets that you share, being responsible with money, and understanding that you have a past that makes you who you are.
There are also warning signs that someone isn’t trustworthy. Many of them are opposites of everything we’ve mentioned today, like: pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do or are illegal, texting you constantly and asking who you’re hanging out with or where you are, threatening you in any way, controlling who you follow on social media and who follows you, and spreading your secrets or rumors about you.
If these things are happening, please know that you are not alone, and you can leave a relationship safely if you want to. You have the right to be happy and be in a trusted, safe relationship.
Call or text the S+SS 24/7 hotline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening and information.
Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit our website at www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.