Today, we’re answering a common question from local teens about being pressured to send naked photos or videos to a partner.
This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset. We are Somerset County, New Jersey's lead domestic violence response organization, providing services at no charge for survivors of dating and domestic abuse for over 40 years.
Today's question from local teens is: "What if my partner is pressuring me to send naked pictures?"
If you don’t want to send photos or videos, that doesn’t make you a bad partner. You are allowed to set boundaries and you have a right to feel safe and respected in your relationship! If your partner keeps pressuring you, that is not okay and is a big warning sign of an unhealthy relationship.
No matter what the reason is, you may not want to send photos. Maybe it makes you feel uncomfortable, or you don’t want to take those naked photos in the first place. Maybe you’ve had a bad experience before or know someone else whose photos were shared without their permission.
Maybe you’re nervous about possible consequences. Possessing nude photos of a minor under 18 is illegal in New Jersey – even if it’s two people in a relationship, and even if it’s consensual and completely agreed upon by both people. If it’s a selfie, the person who took the selfie could still be charged with a crime. Even if both parties are 18 or over, it could be considered harassment if pictures are shared without consent, or are provided under pressure.
Plus, even if you love your partner and think they will never share with others, once that picture is out there, it’s out there.
Let’s talk more about one partner pressuring the other. This is not okay. Here are some ways we’ve heard partners justify this:
· “Everyone shares pictures, so it’s not a big deal.”
· “If you really loved me, you’d send me photos.”
· “I really miss you, so I need to see you.”
· “My last partner did it, so I’d really like you share your pictures, too.”
If your partner is guilting or shaming you into sending photos, this doesn’t feel good for YOU, now or later. Trust your gut and set your boundary, if you feel safe to do so. If you don’t feel safe to say no, that’s a big warning sign that this relationship isn’t healthy or safe for you.
To speak with an expert about dating violence, call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset 24/7 confidential hotline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening, information, and safety planning.
Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit our website at www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.
