On today’s episode, we’re answering a question from local teens about helping a partner who is experiencing a drop in their mental health, or has a mental health condition.
This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset. We are Somerset County, New Jersey's lead domestic violence response organization, providing services at no charge for survivors of dating and domestic abuse for over 40 years.
Today’s question from local teens is: “Dear Ava, How can I help my partner, who is struggling with their mental health?”
It’s hard to watch our partners struggle, whether it be living with a mental health condition or from something stressful that’s going on in their lives. Also, during the last year and half of the COVID-19 pandemic, lots of people of all ages have experienced declining mental health, whether or not they’ve been officially diagnosed by a doctor, with a condition.
Know that you aren’t alone; many people all around the world are concerned about their partners. Also know that you also are not solely responsible for your partner’s emotional health. Your partner isn’t alone either. According to the National Alliance of Mental Illness or NAMI, 1 out of 6 American youth ages 6-17 experiences mental illness each year. Plus, 1 out of 5 American adults experience mental illness each year.
Here are some ideas for supporting a partner living with a mental health condition.
First, make sure that they know that you are there to talk with them about it, if they want to. Spend time with them doing activities you both enjoy. This alone can help someone feel more supported and feel less alone.
Ask what your partner wants in terms of treatment and your involvement. You can show the most support by offering and then listening to their preferences. You can highlight the benefits of working with a therapist, or taking medication, or seeing a doctor – whatever it may be. But be aware that they may not want to seek help still. That is still ultimately their decision.
You can suggest services and support them as they attend– sit by them while they call to make an appointment, or access therapy through telehealth, or physically attend appointments with them if appropriate and allowed. You could even offer to wait in the waiting room or drive your partner to and from. You can do research to see what services they might benefit from and present them to your partner.
If you are concerned about your partner’s health in general, also consider reaching out to a trusted adult with your concerns. They might be able to listen to you and support you. That being said, make sure to care of yourself, too! You are important to this relationship and to your partner.
As we mentioned before, you are not the only person responsible for your partner’s emotional health. Can they hang out with another friend or family member sometimes? Can a close friend check in on them?
If your partner is in danger of hurting themselves, you, or someone else, call 911 immediately.
If your partner is making you feel guilty about leaving them, blackmailing you, threatening you, or using their mental health as an excuse for behavior, please talk to a trusted adult. You can also call or text our hotline. Dating abuse is not okay and it’s not your fault.
For more information on mental health conditions, please visit http://www.nami.org.
To speak with an expert about dating violence, call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset 24/7 confidential hotline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening, information, and safety planning.
Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit our website at www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.