Episode 80: "Why is domestic violence a community issue?"
Episode 80: "Why is domestic violence a community issue?"
On today’s episode, we’re answering a question from local teens about how other people outside a relationship are affected by domestic violence.
This is Jessica Skultety, Community Outreach Associate at Safe+Sound Somerset. We are Somerset County, New Jersey's lead domestic and sexual violence response organization, providing services to survivors at no charge for over 40 years.
Today's question from local teens is: “Dear Ava, Why is domestic violence a community issue?”
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, so we wanted to answer some questions from teens that help bring awareness to how serious this issue is.
Sometimes teens and adults tell us they see domestic violence as “just a family issue” or that it only affects the two people in the relationship. The reality is that domestic violence often has severe, negative impacts on the target of abuse – the other partner - as well as children, other family, friends, and the entire community. The CDC or Centers for Disease Control and Prevention even labels domestic violence a public health issue.
First, what exactly is domestic violence or domestic abuse? It’s a pattern of behaviors that one person uses to purposefully gain power and control over the other person in a romantic or family relationship. This makes the other person unable to make decisions and choices for themselves, unable to set individual boundaries, and unable to give or take away consent or permission. Domestic abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, financial, digital, and stalking, and it often gets worse, or more severe and more frequent.
Here’s the big picture in America today. According to the CDC,
Based on those numbers alone, chances are very good you already know a survivor of abuse, and that you already know at least one person using abuse in their relationship. All of those people who are targets of abuse bring that history and the effects of the abuse with them wherever they go.
So, that’s the big picture. How does domestic violence affect the community, as this teen asked?
First, many children and teens witness domestic in their homes. One study by Sherry Hamby found that about 1 in 15 children have witnessed DV in the past year - that’s about 2 people in every classroom. And 90% of children saw violence in their home directly.
Domestic violence and child abuse are examples of trauma. Children who are traumatized bring those experiences and effects with them into schools, friendships, and their future dating relationships. Some examples of negative impacts are that these children and teens more likely to earn lower grades, have higher rates of anxiety and/or depression, engage with substances like drugs and alcohol at higher rates, and have increased thoughts of self harm or suicide.
Children who witness domestic violence between adults are at a high risk for being abused or neglected themselves. They are also more likely to be a target or person who uses abuse later in life, in their own relationships.
So, we know that child witnesses can bring a lot of trauma with them as a result of domestic violence. You might also be wondering, how does domestic violence in a couple affect their friends and other family?Often, these people witness abusive behaviors or warning signs.
Also, family and friends are sometimes part of the abuse. The partner who uses abuse may threaten family or friends, or purposefully draw the target away from their support system so they feel isolated. Then, a target who feels alone may not feel comfortable reaching out to their loved ones if the situation gets more unsafe. Family and friends may also feel guilty for not getting involved, if things do get worse, which they often do.
To make domestic violence less likely, we need to work together to make our whole community safe. Violence is violence, and all types of violence are connected. You can’t end one without addressing the other, and to address them all we need to build safer, happier communities with resources, services, and support.
We need everyone to do this! We know that domestic violence reaches far beyond the two people in the relationship. It’s not a private family issue and we can all help survivors by spreading information about warning signs and services that are available.
To speak with an expert about dating violence, call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset 24/7 confidential hotline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening, information, and safety planning.
Want to “Ask Ava” a question? Visit our website at www.safe-sound.org/ask-ava. Thank you for listening today. Join us next time here on Ask Ava.